"Cause he`s a dedicated follower of fashion..."
- The Kinks
A Life Ever Changing #4
What? Oh, here is the uniform shop! Great...
Now this was a large store for a specialty shop. I must
have looked very nervous because Mrs. Brown told me to
relax and that it could actually be fun. SURE, FUN! NOT!
We walked into the store and a well-dressed older woman
(And I mean older!) came over to us and greeted Mrs. Brown
like an old friend. Mrs. Brown greeted her with Hello Betty
we could use your help with Ricky here. (DARN HER!)
Well, Betty told me to call her Betty and she of course
called me Ricky! (FRIPSY!) She asked Mrs. Brown what we
were looking for and of course Mrs. Brown said;
"Everything!" (Oh please God be merciful! I promise to go
to church every Sunday from now on with no hassle!!!
PLEASE!!!)
Now there were several other women and girls in this shop
at the time and yes, they were all staring at me! Betty
asked me what sizes I wore and of course I had no idea.
They both smiled at me like this is going to be more fun
than we thought. Betty asked me to follow her and we went
in the back of her shop. She then really surprised me by
telling me (Not asking.) to remove everything but my T-
shirt and panties. PANTIES! Now I right away exclaimed that
I did not wear panties! Turning very red in the process I
might add.
Betty apologized saying she did not get many men in her
shop and it was an automatic request. Okay, but I then
asked where the dressing room was. She laughed and said
that this was it for me unless I would like to join the
women and girls. Oops, no way! Okay, this will have to do.
Betty left and there I was taking my clothes off with a
bunch of women and girls right outside the stupid thin
curtain! (That was the only thing separating the back room
from the store.) I could hear Mrs. Brown and Betty talking
in low voices outside, but I just could not make out
everything they were saying. Just parts like "a nice boy",
"innocent and naive", "gentle and caring" Man, could they
stop! GEEZ!
Okay, at least 10 minutes must have gone by which seemed
like 10 hours! There I am standing in my underwear when
they both come walking in the back. OH FRAPST! No place to
hide! Talk about embarrassed! But, then again what did I
expect anyway?
Betty had a cloth tape measure in her hands and she started
measuring me everywhere and I mean everywhere! She called
out my measurements, which Mrs. Brown being ever so helpful
wrote down on a form. Now I have been measured for a suit
before but these measurements were much more thorough!
Betty said; "Now that the measuring is all done let us pick
out a few items for you." (OH great, now they are going to
do the picking out!) Yupper, just like mom always did. They
ask you if you like it and if you do that's great, but if
you don't tough fripsy!
I started to put my pants back on and they both said at the
same time "DON'T"! I was handed a robe (At least it was a
blue one.) that I would never be caught wearing in a
million zillion years! Blue satin, oh wonderful! NOT!!!
The curtain was pulled aside and of course just about
everybody in there looked around and right at me! DARN
IT!!!!!! I hate this!!!! Yupper, giggles and chuckles and
laughter! Betty said to me, "Don't let it bother you. It is
only that they are not used to seeing a boy in the shop."
(Sure, especially one, wearing a blue satin robe!)
Well, at least there were others in the shop wearing robes.
No boys, but there were others. They should have given me a
bright red robe. At least then it would have matched my
skin color!
Off we walked to a corner. Yes, a small corner that had a
few items on shelves and three racks. One rack which held a
few dozen shirts. Another rack held a few jackets and one
rack with a few dozen pairs of pants. On the shelves were
the underwear, socks, shoes and various other items I did
not have a clue as to what they were for. (Now why couldn't
they have selected one of each for me and brought them to
the back room?) No fun in that I guess!
Betty asked me, "Ricky look around my shop and tell me what
you observe and what you think about it, please?"
What? Okay, so I did and noticed that the women and girls
had a lot more to choose from. The choices for the men and
boys paled in comparison! I also noticed that the females
had nice dressing rooms. The males did not even have one!
I also noticed every female in the shop was looking at me!
Not out in out staring, (SOME WERE THOUGH!) but quick
glances. When they saw that I had seen them, they would
chuckle and smile while they looked away. So after I looked
around I looked at Betty and said, "The shop is obviously
mostly for women and girls. The men and boys section looks
like it was an after thought. The females have very nice
dressing rooms while the males have none. The biggest
difference is in the choices of items. Where as the women
and girls have many choices of styles and colors, the men
and boys have very few choices. Another point I would like
to point out is that it is uncomfortable for a male to shop
here. All the staring and laughing at me by the women and
girls shopping here would tend to make me not return."
Mrs. Brown and Betty laughed and Betty spoke saying;
"Ricky, you would be surprised at what men and boys can
wear. (OH FRIPSY!!! NIGHTMARE!!!) You are a very observant
and smart boy! You are correct in many of your observations
and I thank you for your honest opinions. The truth is that
we get very few male customers here. You are correct that
there are very few choices in the male section. I will fix
that shortly though. You see Ricky there are many items in
this shop a boy could wear. I just have not added them to
this area yet."
Another lady nearby looked up and chuckled. She had to add
her 2-cent's worth then! (Will this nightmare ever stop?)
She said, "So much of what you boys wear is never seen and
you could actually wear a lot in this shop and no one would
ever know."
Yupper, I think I will just die right now and never worry
about life again! Chuckles, giggles and laughter resounded
through out the shop! Yes, they were having lots of fun! At
my expense!
Betty then cleared her throat rather loudly and the
laughter stopped shortly after that. Betty continued by
saying; "You are also correct about the dressing room
situation. The next time you come I promise that a male
dressing room will be in place." She smiled and gave me a
hug saying, "You are such a thoughtful and sensitive boy. I
love you already and we have just met." OH GEEZ!
"Well," said Betty, "Let us choose something for you shall
we?"
THANK GOD!!!!! "Yes, please," was all I could say. (I think
I had a fever, my skin felt like it was 120 degrees!)
Betty said my T-shirt was much too small for my size. I had
to agree it was tight, but well, I thought it made me look
good. (I was in great shape.) She held up a T-shirt (Not a
regular cheap T-shirt I will tell you that.) and said, "You
should try that on, but wait a minute."
Just then another women asked; "What is his size?" WHAT?
WHY? Betty told her, but it was just a number not a size. I
was a 38 regular. Not a single digit number! The lady
started looking through a rack. Now that rack was not meant
for man or boy! This could not be happening to me!!! (GOD?
Please God! I promise I will be good for the rest of my
life! What did I ever do to make God so angry with me?)
Well, I decided to just get this over with and as fast as I
could manage it. I took the T-shirt and asked them; "What
else do I need?" I had hoped I had asked this before they
could start something else.
Betty then said; "You will need several pairs of panties."
PANTIES AGAIN! OH FRAPST! Will she ever stop? I heard
several of the girls and women nearby chuckle so I said,
"Betty I do not wear panties. I wear boy's underpants.
There is a difference you know!"
Betty and Mrs. Brown chuckled and Betty apologized saying;
"I am sorry again Ricky. Here, try these UNDERPANTS they
are the brief style and should fit much better under your
uniform slacks than the boxer style." She handed them to me
and off to the back room I went. Thank GOD!!! I was hoping
they would just pick out a shirt jacket and a pair of pants
and bring them back to me. RIGHT! SURE! NOT!!
I knew I had to be real quick about changing into the new
underwear because I had a feeling they would just barge
right in a few seconds after I got in the back room. I set
a speed record for changing my underpants I can tell you
that! I had just taken off my T-shirt and they walked in. I
beat them to the punch this time!
Betty handed me something soft and silky to try on instead
of the T-shirt. I took one look at it and said no! It was
plain white and had a round collar and no sleeves. They
both told me it would be much more comfortable to wear and
it WAS plain. I said NO! They did look disappointed, but I
had held my ground.
So I put on the "boy's" T-shirt. After doing what I refer
to as the "MOM" check they were satisfied with the fit.
Then to my utter surprise Betty told me; "Ricky wait here
and we will get you a few uniforms to try on okay?" (Wow,
cool!) NOT!!!!!!!!!!
I put on the robe and waited. I peeked out into the shop
and they were talking to the lady who must have picked out
the other undershirt. A shake of a few heads and a shrug of
a few shoulders and that was that. So I thought!
I swore I would never complain about clothes shopping with
Mom ever again!!! I could always count on her to be fast.
Pick a few things out. Ask me if I liked them. Even though
it did not matter one hoot if I did. Try them on. Have her
do the "MOM" check and that was that.
Most of you readers know what the mom check is right? No?
Okay for those who do not know here is a short description
of what boys go through when their moms are checking the
fit of their new clothes. You have just changed into your
new school clothes and come out of the dressing room. (Moms
are not allowed in the men's dressing room so you have to
step out in front of whom ever is also outside.) Mom then
pulls on the waist and then pulls on the darn crotch to
make sure we are not to tight in that area. You jump as she
does this. It is an automatic response. If anybody is
standing around they laugh at you. They always do! That is
why boys hate to shop for pants with their mothers!
NOT HERE and not with these people!! Oh no! This was a fun
outing for them! I took another peek out into the shop and
they were not in "the male section." I could not even see
them! Where in heck did they go? All of a sudden someone
spoke to me from behind me. I must have jumped ten feet in
the air! Yes, another side entrance from the main floor
through the dressing rooms! FRIPSY!
Mrs. Brown and Betty had several shirts and pants they
wanted me to try on. But first they had several different
styles of socks. What? Okay, so I sat as Betty handed me
the first pair. She told me, "Ricky these are white dress
hose and lighter than regular work style or athletic hose."
Hose? What the heck! "Socks," Mrs. Brown added.
Oh, okay! Light was right. These were hardly anything at
all! Like lighter then banlon! I did not like them. Okay,
the next pair was heavier but they went up way to high. I
did not like them either. GEEZ they went up past my knees!
Okay, the next pair was cool and I liked them. Over the
calf and they were thicker.
Betty told me to take the tops and fold them over till they
were just over my ankles. What? Okay. NO WAY! They had
designs on the inside! Nope, off they came! Chuckles and
smiles are all I heard and saw. I had had enough. I was
getting angry and frustrated. I guess they saw this and
Betty handed me an honest to God real pair of "boys" white
athletic socks! YES!!!!!!!!! Okay, I am happier now. I
reminded them that the money for all the items was coming
out of my future earnings. (OOP's did I just make another
stupid mistake?)