Sapphire's Place - "Before My Time" by Bob Arnold

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters in this story are fictional, and any resemblance to anyone else living or dead is probably a coincidence. Please notify me if you are archiving this and the other chapters of the story on a web site. Permission specifically granted to Sapphire’s Place and Crystal’s Story Site to archive this. If you intend to publish this story in magazine or book (paper or electronic) format, please contact me for arrangements. Additional information on this story may be found at: http://www.ralabs.com/zapped/ .

Before My Time

Chapter 2
By Bob Arnold

From chapter 1

Toni exploded off the chair and launched herself at me. She scored a direct hit with a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Oh, thank you Bear. You've made me so happy! I knew you would do it!"

"Toni, can Bear and I have a little talk alone for a few minutes please?"

"Of course, Tyler. I have to visit the little girls room anyway." She bounded out of the control room. We heard her charge up the stairs to her room.

"Please forgive me for asking, Bear but I have to look after her best interests. Has something happened between you two?"

"I guess you could say that something has happened, yes."

"My GOD. I knew it had to happen sooner or later. She had sex with you didn't she. Now it will be all over the papers."

"That's NOT what happened, Tyler. You can ask Andrea yourself. She was with us every step of the way here and nothing happened. What did happen was that Toni and I have bonded together. I think of her as the little sister I never had and she thinks of me as her big brother. We know things about each other that would be very harmful if they ever became public. Our bond goes beyond love, Tyler. I would give up my own life to protect her if it came to that and I know she would for me. There is a part of each of us that completes the other. I can't explain it any more than that because words simply do not exist for what we feel. I can assure you beyond any doubt that I care deeply for Toni and would never do ANYTHING to harm her in any way."

"Bear, I can tell from the way she looks at you and acts toward you that you're telling the truth. It took her almost two years to trust me after her father hurt her. In just two days you've gained her complete trust in spite of your somewhat scary exterior. That's a record for Toni. She usually closes herself off from most people unless it's related to her performing and then it's only while she's on stage."

"I know all about her father. I guess you could say that I've seen it all through her eyes and felt what she felt. That's a part of the bond between us. It's probably best if we never speak of this again around her, Tyler. It's a very private thing between us."

And now chapter 2

“That’s all right with me Bear. Consider it private.”

“Thanks, Tyler.”

“Now I have another question.”

“And that is…?”

“How in the world did you get the mix like that. The last Chicago concert sounded incredible.”

“Now, Tyler, if I told you that I’d have to kill you.” The shocked look on his face faded away as I laughed at his response. “It’s all in knowing how the equipment works and something about the way we hear. When you can tailor the equipment to properly match what we hear it’s magic. Of course you have to have great material when you start. The Chicago shows made ten of Toni’s concerts I’ve been at and that last performance was the best of the lot. Toni and the band had a great time on stage that night. I don’t know if they can do it again.”

“Will you record the concerts this weekend, Bear?”

“That’s what both of you wanted. I hope my audio gear is up to it. I never figured I would get to record a major live concert album with this stuff.”

“If you do half as good with this stuff as you did with the Chicago concert it will still be as good as most concert releases I’ve heard. Besides we have the Chicago show recording to fall back on. I had another thought. Since the band will be in town shortly for the concert can we use the studio for some practice and a bit of recording?”

“Sure. All I ask is that I can keep a personal use only copy of whatever I record here for my archive.”

“That’s fine with me, Bear, as long as it is for your ears only. Say, what were you and Toni recording when I came in anyway?”

“Did I hear my name used?” We turned around to see Toni standing by the door to the studio.

“Yes, I was just about to play back the track you recorded.” I clicked the mouse a few times to start the digital playback from the computer. The music track was a midi file I found out on the Internet. It was a tune by Katrina and the Waves called “Walking on Sunshine”.

Toni and Tyler both listened to the tune and were smiling when it ended. “Well, what do you think?”

“I think if we re-record that with the band that it would go great as part of an oldies album. What about you, Toni?”

“I think so too. Bear, can we record here?”

“Tyler just asked me about that. My answer was yes.” That got me yet another huge hug and a kiss from Toni.

“This is fantastic! I get to have a two week vacation away from all of the crowds and I can even record if I want to. I have lots of ideas for songs we can do too.”

"Well, enough of this. Toni, what do you have to do today?"

"Not much, Bear. I have to be at a local radio station in about two hours for an interview then I'm free for the rest of the day."

"Anything more, Tyler?"

"No. I usually leave the first day Toni arrives in a location as open as I can to let her get settled into a new hotel. I can see that she's already made herself at home here though. I don't have anything else."

"How about I drive you and Tyler to the interview in the Tank then I'll pick up groceries on the way back? I need to stock up on things a little more than I thought since I'll have company for a while."

"Ummm…, Bear, what is 'the Tank'?"

"The Tank, Tyler, is a huge SUV I have out in the garage. No, it isn't armored or anything. It's just so big most people don't want to even drive anywhere near it. It has four wheel drive and sets up rather high. It has tinted glass in the windows too. I doubt that anyone would think of a major rock star using one as a limo."

"I think that will work, Bear. We'll be ready to go in about an hour. Is that ok with you, Toni?"

"I guess so, Tyler. If it was up to me I'd just forget this interview."

"You promised, Toni. Hey, I have an idea! Want to take a clip with you of the Chicago show?"

"That would be great! Can you get something ready in time Bear?"

"Sure, Toni. Anything specific you wanted, Tyler?"

"No, just surprise us. You know you're going in too, Bear. You're as responsible for the sound as Toni is."

"I'll go in, Tyler, but only as an escort for Toni's safety. If the station has been promoting her live visit there will be loads of fans waiting to see her. Leave me in the background on this please. I can do more good as a body guard than anything else."

"All right, Bear. Let's get moving and, Toni, you need to get dressed. No jeans and flannel shirts please. We need the teen rock star look, ok?"

"Tyler, can't I go dressed normally just once, please?"

"Toni, I'll make a deal with you. You dress up and I'll go get into my tough biker stuff. It always helps to project a certain look for these things."

"It's a deal, Bear." Toni headed back to her bedroom. It took about fifteen minutes to select clips from the Chicago show and burn a CD that Toni could take with her to the station. Then I headed for my bedroom to change clothes.

I changed into a pair of coal black jeans, a black sleeveless t-shirt that had 'Number One Roadie' stenciled on the front and back and my black leather biker jacket. I greased up my hair and combed it. Satisfied with the look, I went into the kitchen to have a glass of milk before we left. I sat down at the kitchen table after grabbing a package of cookies from the cabinet.

Toni started giggling as she came into the kitchen. "There's a picture I have to add to my scrap book. The world's nastiest looking biker dude setting at a kitchen table dunking Oreo Double Stuff cookies in a glass of milk." She took another glass out of the cabinet then poured a glass of milk for herself. She grabbed a couple of cookies and started dunking them. I looked over at her with a big grin on my face. "So I can't do it too?" I chuckled as I dipped another Oreo and popped it in my mouth.

I was putting away the milk and cookies when Tyler came into the kitchen. "WOW! You two look great. Bear, if I didn't know what you were really like I'd piss my pants if you even looked at me the wrong way. And Toni, you look fantastic. Bear, did you get a clip for Toni of the concert?"

"Right here, Tyler." I held up a CD labeled 'Chicago clips' then handed it to him. There are a couple of clips on there actually. The 'Bobby's Girl' number and a five minute clip from about the middle of the show. I'd go with the Bobby's Girl number if the band has anything else ready in the oldies type of stuff. It seems to be making a comeback with the new artists these days. Look at the success Smash Mouth had with 'I'm A Believer'."

"What do you think, Toni? The oldie clip or the other one?"

"Why not both if they have the time, Tyler?"

"Fine with me. Let's get going. Bear, did Toni tell you where we are headed?"

"Yes. I know exactly where we're going. In fact, the staff at the station will probably recognize me. I've done some stuff with them before. If the DJ starts to ask about me just tell him that I'm a roadie with the show and I'm here for security. He'll go along with that."

"Ok, Bear. If that's the way you want it. I'm ready to go. Tyler?"

"All set here. Lead the way, Bear."

Toni grabbed a large gym type bag as she went out of the door. They followed me out to the garage and watched as I backed the Tank out of the first bay. "My God, Bear. This thing IS huge isn't it?"

"I told you it was, Toni. Can you get in ok with that short skirt?"

"I think so." She opened the door and found that the seat was just out of reach of her bottom. "Nope. I need help, Bear."

"Stand back a little, Toni." She took a couple of steps away from the truck. I hit a switch on the dash to extend steps out from under the truck. "Thanks, Bear!" She scampered up into the cab with no trouble at all. The gym bag got tossed onto the back seat next to her. I hit the switch to retract the steps and headed the truck down the driveway. It took about thirty minutes to reach the station.

As I predicted, the station parking lot was a sea of fans waiting to greet Toni. I pulled the Tank up in front of the main entrance to the station as several rent-a-cops cleared a line to the door. I got out of the truck and went around to open the door for Toni. Tyler was already out of the truck and talking to the station manager. I opened the door for Toni and hit a switch on the door to extend the steps again. I extended my hand to Toni to help her out. As she emerged, the crowd went wild with cheers and applause. A look of terror flashed briefly in her eyes until I gently squeezed her had to remind her that I was here. The look changed to a smile as she waved to the crowd and blew kisses to everyone.

As I followed Toni inside the station manager caught sight of me and his eyebrows shot up. I'd been recognized. I placed a finger to my lips. He nodded slightly as he watched us walk by. Toni entered the on-air studio. I stayed outside, looking in the glass window and listening to the chatter over the monitor speaker in the hallway.

"So, Bear, how did you get hooked up with her?" I turned around to see the station manager standing there. I motioned for him to follow me out of sight of the studio window.

"Hi, Bill. It's a long story." I extended my hand to shake his. "Got about an hour?"

"Nope. How about the condensed version?"

"Fine. You knew I was doing the roadie bit for Ben didn't you?"

"Yup, the last I knew you were."

"Well, I am… uh… was the boss of the road crew for her series of concerts. This past weekend in Chicago, her mixer walked out with nobody to run the sound. I jumped in at the last minute. Ever since then, she's been after me to work for her. I'm here as security for her then I'm mixing the Syracuse concerts. After that who knows?"

"The question I have to ask is how have you been feeling, old friend? Have you recovered?"

"I'm doing fine, Bill. The surgery and treatments have me in remission now. The tumor is gone. They can't say if it will return or not but for the time being, I'm clean."

"Does she know?"

"No and I plan on keeping it that way. They never have to know what I went through. Toni has enough problems of her own."

"I understand, Bear. I'll see you later, ok? Maybe at the concerts since the station is sponsoring them. Take it easy, Bear and enjoy life." He slapped me on the back and gave me a hug. Bill and I had known each other for what seemed like forever and was one of only a hand full of people I felt remotely close too.

I went back to the window to the studio. Toni and the DJ were talking about the upcoming concert and the fact that it would be recorded for a possible live concert release. “…and it’s a toss-up right now between the Syracuse and Chicago concerts for the release. I hope we get the level of audience participation and energy we got in Chicago in the Syracuse shows. I brought a clip with me. Do you want to hear it?” I heard a huge shout go up from the crowd outside in favor of listening to the clip and the phone lines lit up in the studio.

“Looks like the verdict is in, Toni. Everyone wants to hear it. What is it?”

“Well, Jay, it’s an oldies tune called ‘Bobby’s Girl’. I’m doing an album of oldies cover tunes and I start recording on it a few days after the concert this weekend.” The DJ hit the start button on the CD player. I started the clip just after Toni mentioned my name so all the radio listeners heard was a huge wave of applause then the song.

As the song ended a cheer went up from the crowd outside the studio. The DJ came back on asking if the tune would be released as a single any time soon. Toni sidestepped the issue saying that it was being considered. The interview concluded with a round of phone calls from listeners asking all kinds of questions. As is usual for these types of promotions, Toni had the honor of drawing the name of the winner of an all-access backstage pass and concert tickets for one of the station’s listeners. As it turned out the listener was in the crowd outside and was escorted into the studio to collect her prize and meet Toni in person.

We left the radio station late in the afternoon and headed back South for my house. We talked on the way home about what to have for supper. Toni wanted something simple and suggested hamburgers and hotdogs since she had seen the barbecue grill I kept in the garage. She even offered to cook.

I then watched in the rear view mirror as she disappeared under a blanket in the back of the truck. A few minutes later she emerged wearing an old flannel shirt and jeans in place of the hot pink crop top and matching short skirt she had worn for the interview. The 4 inch pink heels were exchanged in favor of a pair of grungy old tennis shoes and orange socks while her natural red hair was hidden under a brown wig. Even her makeup disappeared via a couple of moist towelettes she had in the gym bag.

“Toni, how in the world do you do that? If I hadn’t witnessed it myself I would never guess who you are.”

“I had to learn, Bear. Otherwise I could never go anywhere or do anything. It’s the price of being famous.”

I pulled the truck into the parking lot of a small store. Toni followed me into the store grabbing a shopping cart. She almost flew down the isles grabbing things off the shelves as she went.

In just a few minutes she had filled two shopping carts with food and other things. I followed her into the line at the checkout. We unloaded the contents of the carts onto the conveyor belt at the register and watched as the cashier totaled up the load. The amount made me start reaching for my wallet. Toni simply pushed my hand away from my back pocket and handed the cashier her credit card. The cashier looked at the name on the card then at Toni then back at the card. A huge smile of recognition spread across his face as Toni placed a finger to her lips.

He was still smiling as he and another helper bagged the groceries then put the bags in the cart. Toni wordlessly handed both of them autographed pictures of herself from her purse the hugged them giving them both little kisses on the cheek. Toni pushed one cart out to the truck. I followed her with the other cart.

“WOW! I thought you were in real trouble back there! That was neat how you handled it, Toni.”

“I learned that it’s much easier to be friendly than to be stand-offish about it. They will be even more likely to help next time we go there.”

“You didn’t have to buy all this you know.” We loaded the bags into the back of the truck.

“I just figured that since we were staying with you for a couple of weeks that I would help out with the groceries and the cooking. I haven’t done any serious cooking in a very long time and I really enjoy it when I can. Let me cook, Bear, please?”

I took about half a heartbeat to decide. “All right, I’ll leave the cooking to you unless you’re otherwise occupied. At least I won’t have to eat my own cooking for a couple of weeks, having you cook can only be an improvement. What are you doing for supper?”

“You’ll see, Bear, you’ll see. Now let’s get back home so I can get started. Can you get the grill all set up and checked out when we get back?”

“Sure. I think it has a full tank of gas. I remember doing a fill-up just before I stored it for the winter.” I closed the tailgate as Toni pushed the cart into a corral.

When we got home it took several minutes for Tyler and I to carry all of the groceries inside then we got kicked out of the kitchen as Toni got to work. We moved the grill out of the garage to a spot by the back door and relocated the picnic table to the same area. It overlooked the pool at the base of a small waterfall that was fed by a spring higher up the hillside. A small stream led away from the natural pool directing the water down the hill toward a larger stream near the bottom. We both sat down on the table drinking sodas we retrieved from the kitchen.

“This is beautiful, Bear. How in the world did you find this spot?”

“My dad found it years ago while hunting in the area. When my parents died I bought the land and built this house. It was designed to try to blend in with the surroundings. I can’t imagine living anywhere else right now.”

“I know Toni seems very happy here. She usually sulks around in her hotel room but here she’s come alive again. I think she’s tired of life on the road.”

“Will she have to go back to school in the fall?”

“She has one more year of high school to go in Chicago. I don’t think she’s really happy there though. There’s too much that reminds her of what her father did. I’ve been trying to get her to move anywhere else but so far she’s always refused.”

As we finished our drinks, Toni came out of the back door and started up the grill. Just a few minutes later we heard the sizzle of meat cooking and the smells that drifted over to us made my mouth water. “Ummm… Toni, what are you cooking. That smells sooooo good!” My stomach was making growling noises.

“It’s something I call meatloaf burgers. It’s a meatloaf type mix made into hamburger patties. Smells good doesn’t it?”

“Come on, Tyler. I have to get out of here or I’ll go crazy before that’s done cooking. Let’s go to the studio.”

“Bear, can you stir the pot of macaroni that’s on the stove for me please? I’m making macaroni salad too.”

“Will do, Toni.” Tyler and I headed for the basement studio after I stirred the macaroni. About an hour later we heard a knock on the studio door.

“Gentlemen, supper is ready. We’re dining on the picnic table tonight.”

“Be right there, Toni!” I shut down the studio gear and hurried up the stairs behind Tyler. We saw several large bowls placed on the picnic table each covered in plastic wrap. The first was a large bowl filled with macaroni salad, another contained potato chips and the last contained some type of relish. The grill was still on but at a very low setting. I reached toward the handle and got my hand slapped away.

“Go have a seat you two. Andrea and I will take care of things.” I waved to Andrea as she brought out a cooler filed with ice and sodas.

“So Toni conscripted you too, huh?”

“Willingly, Bear. I’ve seen her do this before. You have no idea what you’re in for. This is going to be a great meal.”

We watched Toni serve up her meatloaf burgers on a plate. Another bowl appeared filled with large rolls. “There you go, folks. Eat up!”

I smiled at Toni as I made a hamburger then took a bite of it. That first bite was followed very quickly buy others as the burger disappeared. “Hey, Toni, where did you learn to cook like this?”

“My mom and some tricks I picked up on the road.” Andrea was smiling and shaking her head yes as she finished her first burger. “Do you like it?”

“These are great, Toni. I want to try your macaroni salad next. I’ll go back for another burger in a little while.” I put a big spoon full of the salad on my plate, finished it then went on to have another burger.

The conversation around the table turned to the concert this coming weekend.

“Tyler, when are the band and dancers due in?”

“They’re flying in on Thursday morning, Toni.”

“Bear, I know we don’t have the room to have them stay here. Is it all right if we have a party out here Thursday night to welcome them? Andrea can go pick them up in the bus.”

“How many, Toni?”

“About 50 people. I’ll cook again. Bear. Think we can handle it?”

“Well, instead of you cooking how about we have it catered? The Dinosaur Barbecue folks are great and handle parties that size easily.”

“I like that idea, Bear. Think they would do the buffet between the shows too?”

“Sure.”

“Then it’s all set. Tyler, will you set it up please? And let’s try to keep this low profile right, Bear?”

“Thanks, Toni. I appreciate that. And tell everyone to go easy on my house and pool too please.”

We spent the rest of the time talking about plans to record the concert and what Tyler and Toni needed. I helped Toni clean up outside then left her to finish the dishes when she tossed me out of my own kitchen. The fridge was stuffed with leftovers and I looked forward to lunch tomorrow. Toni said the burgers were especially good re-heated in a microwave.

The rest of the evening passed quietly. Tyler went back to the hotel and Toni and Andrea settled in for a good night’s sleep. I took a quick shower then settled into my own bed for the first time in several months. Sleep came quickly and I didn’t stir again until a gentle knock on my door in the morning.

“Bear? Are you awake yet, Bear?”

I looked over at the clock. Nine AM. I’d been out for almost ten hours. Where had the night gone? “I’m awake, Toni.”

“Breakfast will be ready in about fifteen minutes. Waffles, eggs and sausage. If you want some, come and get it! I don’t do room service.”

“Coming Mother….” I heard her giggle as she walked down the hall to the kitchen. I tossed the covers aside and headed for the bathroom. I used the facilities then washed my face and hands. I got dressed in an old T-shirt and baggy jeans. I walked into the kitchen plunking down in a chair.

“Bear, are you all right? You look a little out of it this morning.”

“I’m ok, Toni. I just slept longer than normal.” She put a plate on the table with a waffle, two eggs and sausage links on it. A glass of milk followed.

“Dig in, Bear. Andrea and I have had ours already.”

“So when is Tyler coming?” I added some real maple syrup to the waffle and cut it into sections.

“In an hour or so. He had to arrange for the party tonight and make sure the rest of my crew will be here. Andrea is out now getting the bus ready to go. Want to come with us when we pick up the band and dancers?”

“I think I’ll pass, Toni. Someone has to be here when the Dinosaur Barbecue crew arrives. It takes them a few hours to get all set up and cooking.”

“Ok. I’ll stay here too. Tyler can go with Andrea since he’s the one that made the hotel arrangements for everyone. I’d much rather help you here than spending my time at the hotel. I do way to much of that normally”

I smiled as I finished my breakfast. “Sounds like you have your morning all planned out.”

“Not really. Only the general stuff. I’m open for suggestions on what to do.”

“Well, how about using the pool?” It’s going to get hot today and the water is really cool since it comes from a spring.”

“I did bring a suit with me. Hmmm… ok. I’ll give it a try. Are you coming in too?”

“Not today, Toni. I’m still a little sore from the road trip. Maybe tomorrow.”

“Will you at least come out and play life guard for me?”

“Sure, kiddo. Go get suited up and I’ll go change into something I can dive in with if you have a problem. We probably should wait a while though since we’ve just eaten. That water is cold and it’s easy to get a leg cramp.”

“I can wait. Tyler should be here in less than an hour anyway. We’ll go out after Tyler and Andrea leave.”

I nodded as I put my plate, glass and silverware in the dishwasher and hit the start button to do the load inside. I headed back to my room to put on my socks and shoes and to get a little more presentable when Tyler arrived. I was back in the living room reading the computer screen when Andrea came in.

“I got the bus all set to go, Toni. Nice job on the hookup, Bear. It really helped make it easier to get it ready again. Thanks.”

“No problem, Andrea. All part of the friendly service here at the Happiness Hotel.”

She giggled a moment then launched into a song. “Oh, there’s no fire in the fireplace, There’s no carpet on the floor, Don’t try to order dinner there’s no kitchen any more. But if the road’s been kinda bumpy and you need to rest a spell, well welcome home to Happiness Hotel…” I joined in somewhere during the first verse. Toni was looking at us like we had both lost our minds. Maybe we had!

“What??????” Andrea and I both laughed as we explained it was a song from one of the Muppet movies. I even had the soundtrack LP in the collection and a VHS tape of the movie on the shelf.

“I never saw that one. Can we watch it some time?”

“Sure, just not tonight. We have the party remember?”

“DUH! How can I forget? It was my idea!” She swatted me with a pillow from the couch. I tickled Toni and she collapsed to the floor laughing. The pillow connected with my head as I continued to tickle her. She responded by tickling me and she hit one of my tickle spots. I exploded in laughter and collapsed onto the floor next to her. She continued to tickle me until her hands reached my chest. I winced as she hit the scars from the surgery and stopped laughing.

“OK you two, play time is over kiddies!” We looked up to see Tyler standing there smiling. “That’s the Toni I like to see. How are you this morning?”

“I’m great, Tyler. Are we all set for the party?”

“Yup. I got the Dinosaur Barbecue folks to handle the party tonight and the buffet on Saturday night between shows. I got a great deal when they found out who and what it was for. They’re a real bunch of party animals all right. I gave them some tickets for the show too. They asked if they could take some pictures and video to use in advertising. Is that all right with you, Toni.”

“Great! I decided to stay here with Bear and help get set up for tonight. The pictures and video are fine with me but not until I sample what they make. I never endorse anything I haven't tried or use myself. When are they coming?”

“Just after lunchtime. It does take them a while to get all set up. They’re even bringing extra tables and chairs, Bear, so don’t worry about anything. They’ll take care of it all.”

By this time I had my breath back and was standing. “Sounds like the plan is in place. Are they going to have any problems finding us?”

“I gave them directions and told them to look for some red balloons tied to the mailbox. I just put them in place when I pulled in. We’re all set.”

“Tyler, we need to leave a little early. I have to get the bus serviced before we pick everyone up at the airport. It should take less than two hours to get it done. We need to leave now though.”

“Are you two all set here?” Toni and I looked at each other and nodded that we were. “Ok then Andrea, let’s get moving.” We followed them out to the bus and watched as they pulled out down the driveway. The sound of the engine on the bus was fading as we walked back to the house.

“Well, Bear, will you tell me just what happened in there?”

“I really wasn't planning to tell you this since it isn't a problem any more. Since you discovered my little secret maybe it’s better you know about it now rather than later. You see, Toni, I’m a cancer survivor.”

“What… how…” She sputtered for a few moments as the news sunk in. We had entered the house again and got comfortable on the couch in the living room.

“A little over eighteen months ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. For many years, I had a condition called gynecomastia. It means male breasts. They weren't very large but they were larger than would be normal for a man to have. One day I was taking a shower and felt a lump in one of them. I went to my doctor. The tests came back positive. Both breasts were removed.”

Toni’s face was turning a pale white. "Are you ok now, Bear?"

"Yes, Toni. I've been clear for the past year after the chemotherapy and radiation treatments ended. When you were tickling me you hit some of the scars. They're still sensitive and it hurt a bit."

The color slowly came back to her face. “You’re just making all of that up aren’t you?”

“I wish I was, Toni. The doctors tell me that the cancer could return elsewhere in my body. I'm just taking things a day at a time and trying to enjoy life more.

“I don’t believe you. Can I see it?”

“If you insist, yes.” I unbuttoned my shirt and pulled it over my head. She looked at my chest. My nipples were gone, replaced only with skin and some ugly white scars.

“Oh God, I’m sorry Bear. You really were telling me the truth. Are you ok?”

“I’m still alive. It sure beats the alternative of being dead doesn’t it?” I put my shirt back on.

"I'm so sorry I didn't believe you, Bear. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Toni, there's nothing to forgive."

"Really, Bear?"

"Yes, really. Do you still want me to consider working for you?"

"Of course, Bear. No matter what you look like on the outside, I see a kind and very talented person inside." She sat down beside me and hugged the stuffing out of me again. I wondered for one so small compared to my size how she did it. However she managed it, the hug felt great and I hugged her back. We sat there hugging until the phone rang. Toni reached for it but I pushed her hand away just in time.

"Better let me get it. Someone calling may not expect a female voice to answer." I took a deep breath then picked up the phone. "Hello… yes… Thanks, Tyler. I'll tell her. Bye!" I put the phone down and turned back to face Toni. As you heard, that was Tyler. They got the bus serviced and are heading for the airport. He got a call on his cell phone that the Dino folks are under way to the house earlier than they first planned."

"Well, there goes our swim." Her face looked rather sad.

"Toni, you have two whole WEEKS to have a chance to swim and it is YOUR vacation, remember?"

"I guess. I just hope Tyler doesn't start booking things to do while I'm trying to relax."

"If he starts in just tell him you might go crazy and fire your manager if you don't get some rest. He'll get the point I think."

"He knows I'd never fire him."

"Is he really sure? Throw a temper tantrum and scare the living crap out of him. I'll even help you if you want to try it. You can get mad at me and we'll get into a screaming fight if he gets going too much. If you can get me 'afraid' you'll scare him real good."

"I don’t like to do things like that but I’ll think about it Bear. Now let's get ready for the Dinosaur Barbecue people, ok?"

We headed for our bedrooms. I needed to change into something a little more presentable while Toni elected to change into something a little less formal since she wanted to help out. With little else to do Toni and I were watching ‘The Great Muppet Caper” when the folks from Dinosaur Barbecue pulled up to the house. I heard a blast on an air horn then went to look out the front door. Toni stopped the tape and stepped out onto the front porch with me.

We told the crew of about ten people where to put things then watched them set up the tables and chairs. They pulled a large trailer into my back yard. The trailer had a very large grill and smoker chamber on it and space for charcoal and other supplies. Another trailer had refrigerated storage and room for whatever else they needed. They got to work stoking up the grill. We watched as they prepared a whole side of beef and loaded it into the smoker chamber on a revolving shaft arrangement. When most of the setup was finished, only two people stayed to prepare the food. The rest left to set up another job elsewhere.

In a few hours the aromas coming into the house from the back yard were overpowering. Toni and I finished watching the movie then went into the back yard to watch the two cooks prepare the meal.

A little after six PM we heard the throaty roar of a diesel engine and a long blast on an air horn. “They’re here, Bear!” Toni jumped up and pulled me around to the front of the house as Tyler and Andrea stepped off the bus. The rest of the band and the dancers filed out behind them.

Since I knew everyone already from the Chicago concerts I took the whole group into the back yard. The food crew had set up a buffet type line. Everyone grabbed a plate and silverware and started stacking barbecue chicken or beef on them. We had several kinds of salads and sodas or bottled water to drink.

Talk around the tables soon turned to the concerts on the weekend. Everyone was thrilled to learn that either the last show in Chicago or one of the two Syracuse Concerts would be released as a live album. The general agreement was that they didn’t think they could do any better than the Chicago show. Everyone agreed to try to top that show though. Saturday promised to be very interesting.

The hours sped by as we all got to know each other better. I forged several friendships that night that would serve me well in the future both among the band members and the dancers.

The Dino crew had let the fire go out on the grill and were busy wrapping up the leftover food when the lights snapped on to light up the back yard in the fading sunshine. The dancers and the band wanted to do back to the hotel and get settled in for the night since most were experiencing some jet lag. I tossed Andrea a house key just as she boarded the bus and told her to make sure the house was locked when she got back. Toni, Tyler and I watched as the bus lumbered out of the driveway again.

“That was great, Toni. Thanks to you and Tyler for the fantastic evening.”

“And thanks to you we were able to have it here, Bear.” Tyler shook my hand and smiled. “I have to get back to the hotel too. I’ll see both of you at the Dome in the afternoon, right?”

“We’ll be there, Tyler.” Toni took my arm as we walked to the back yard. We heard the engine on Tyler’s car start up then fade out as he left down the driveway.

“Come on, Bear. We have to move the leftovers inside.”

“Yup. I want to stash that in the fridge. I really don’t want any of that to go to waste. The beef was fantastic.” We carried several large trays into the house. We made another trip into the back yard as the Dino crew gathered up the last of the garbage bags full of paper plates and plastic cups. I found out that anything food was either inside at this point or in trash bags in the back of their truck. Someone would be out tomorrow morning to pick up the cooker and the tables and chairs.

We waved goodbye as the truck pulled out. I shut off the lights in the back yard then escorted Toni to her bedroom door. We hugged each other and gave each other little kisses on the cheek. I watched as she opened the door to her room and walked inside. I sighed then made one more trip around the house to make sure things were set for the night. Back in my bedroom I changed into soft pajamas and crawled into bed. Sleep came in just minutes.

When I woke a few hours before sunrise I realized something wasn’t quite right. My nose detected the lingering scent of perfume in air and I felt a weight across my chest. I opened by eyes to discover that my vision was obscured by a mass of reddish hair. I quickly surmised that someone was in the bed next to me. I turned my head to see that at Toni had crawled in with me some time during the night. The door to my bedroom was open wide. The weight across my chest was one of her arms. She was snuggled tightly up against me. I didn’t need to get up so I brushed her hair out of my eyes, put an arm around her and went back to sleep.

I woke up again a couple of hours later to an empty spot next to me and the door to my room was closed. A wonderful smell of hash browns and frying eggs seeped into the bedroom. I managed to make it to the bathroom in time to empty out then washed my face and hands. I quickly changed into a polo shirt and clean jeans then put on socks and a new set of tennis shoes I bought just before my latest road trip. I headed for the kitchen sniffing as I went.

“Morning, Toni. Smells great. What are you making?”

“Eggs with hash browns and toast. Want some orange juice to go with it?”

“Sure.” I went over to stir the hash browns in the frying pan. I got my hand gently slapped.

“Go have a seat. It’ll be ready in a few minutes.” She gave me a hug that I returned. Andrea hadn’t come in yet so I figured I had better ask the question.

“Ummm… Toni… Why last night?”

“I was lonely and frightened, Bear. You have no idea what it’s like to spend a lot of time alone.”

“Oh…? Well what have I been doing all this time before I met you? I live here alone. I travel alone and stay in the hotel room alone. I know how it feels. I’ve been doing it since before you were born young lady.”

She stood at the stove stirring the hash browns and biting her lower lip. “I’m sorry, Bear. I’ve been having these strange dreams lately. I can never remember exactly what the dream is other than when I have one I wake up scared and very sad. I had one last night before I crawled into your bed.” Tears trickled down from her eyes and she sniffled a bit.

“That’s all right, Toni. I understand. You’re welcome to do that any time you feel that you need it.” She put my breakfast on a plate then put it on the table in front of me. “Thanks, Toni. Where is Andrea this morning?”

“On the way back to the hotel last night they all decided to go shopping this morning at the big mall. Carousel Center I think they called it. She’s been gone at least half an hour now.”

“Did you want to do something today before the rehearsal?”

“You know I can’t, Bear. I’d be recognized.”

“Would you like to go on a picnic with me?”

“Really? Anything other than setting here or anywhere else staring at the walls!”

“I have a few places in mind. And the chances of you being recognized aren’t very great if you’re in the places I know about. Celebrities just don’t go there at all.”

“Like where, Bear?”

“You’ll see. When I’m finished make up a basket with some of the leftovers from last night’s party. I’ll go call Tyler and fill him in on my plan so he won’t worry. I want this day to be a surprise for you.”

“OK, Bear. Surprise me.”

I finished up breakfast then got Tyler’s cell number from Toni. I placed the call and spoke to him for about ten minutes telling him where I was going and when we would be at the Dome for rehearsal. I gave him my cell number just in case he needed to contact us. He wasn’t very happy with the plan only because he couldn’t come too. He was stuck at the Dome working out some problems with the stage layout that would take all day to fix.

“Toni, we’re all set with Tyler. He says to have fun and relax. He wants to come too but he’s stuck at the Dome working on a problem all day. Pack a bag with what you’ll need for the Dome tonight. I have to get the recording gear ready. We won’t be back here until after the rehearsal.”

“All right, Bear. How much time before you’re ready to leave?”

“I think about two hours is safe. I’ll be in the studio packing some stuff up. Come get me if you need me, Toni.” I hugged her again then disappeared down the basement stairs.

I spent the next hour packing up the recording gear and supplies. I had three cases full of equipment to take with me. I knew what would be there from the equipment list for the show so I didn’t need to take as much as I would have otherwise. The digital recorder was based around a laptop PC with a large hard drive. I took two complete systems just to be sure of getting the recording intact. I added a portable tape backup drive since I intended on making an insurance copy of the data before I left the show Saturday night. The rehearsal tonight would serve as a final test of the equipment and recording quality. I could play back through the house PA system for a check. I carried each case out to the Tank and secured them in the back.

I entered the kitchen and picked up the unmistakable aroma of fresh baked brownies. Toni was setting at the table reading a magazine as I sniffed the air. “Toni, you made brownies?”

“Sure did. I bought the stuff to scratch bake them on our shopping trip. I decided to make a batch to take with us.”

“Can I have one now?”

“NO! You’ll spoil your lunch! Wait until you see what I did with the leftovers.”

“Are you ready to go?”

“Just about. You can load that ice chest and the gym bag by it in the Tank. We need a bag of ice for the chest so don’t bury it in the back too far out of easy reach.”

“Got what you need for tonight?”

“All of the costumes are on the trucks. All I need is a change of clothes or two, is what I have on now ok to go?”

She wore a blue halter top leaving some of her middle bare. Old cutoff jeans served as shorts. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and fastened with a scrunchie. “That’s fine. Did you bring a wig just in case?”

“In the bag already. The brown one again.”

“I’m all set if you are after I get this stuff loaded.”

“I’m ready as soon as I put some foil on the brownies. I’ll meet you on the porch.”

The ice chest was very heavy and I wondered what she had packed inside. Her gym bag was on the heavy side as well. I added those to the load in the Tank and waited for Toni on the porch. She appeared moments later with her purse and the tray of brownies wrapped in aluminum foil. “Let’s go, Bear. I’m ready.”

We piled into the Tank and set off eastward on Route Twenty out of Onondaga County into Madison County. My target was the little college town of Cazenovia. I figured that we would stop there and I’d let Toni do some shopping in the local stores. Even if she was recognized the locals were laid back enough to not be a problem for her. The college there was out of session so the town wouldn’t be overflowing with her fans.

She got excited when she saw some of the shops and spent a good deal of money on clothes and various treasures. I added them all to the back of the Tank. She grew tired of shopping and soon we headed north to Chittenango Falls State Park. It had a small picnic area with a great view of a one hundred foot tall waterfall. We had our picnic in the shade of a tree overlooking a small gorge created by the rushing water.

“Thanks for a wonderful day. It feels great to be an ordinary person for a while. It’s a shame it won’t last. I envy your anonymity, Bear.”

“A big word for someone so young, Toni.”

“I had to grow up faster than normal kids my age. Being in the entertainment business means that I have to handle lots of things most people wouldn’t ever have to consider.”

“Like…?”

“The record company wants me to wear more revealing costumes. They want me to do types of music that simply aren’t me. The constant pressure of being famous. Not being able to go to a mall or public area without the chance of being recognized. The crazy people that want to stalk me, the even crazier fans that won’t leave me alone, tabloids always making up things about you, endless financial decisions, worrying over the production values on the tour. Should I go on, Bear?”

“No. I get the picture.”

“That’s why today has meant so much to me. For once I’m just plain Toni Baker, teenage girl. I wish this afternoon wouldn’t end.”

“I wish it didn’t have to end for you either, Toni. A very wise man once said ‘Everything good has a start and an ending. Only the bad stuff seems like it goes on forever’.”

She giggled at my observation. “And what wise man said that, Bear?”

“My father many years ago.” The feelings when I learned that my parents were killed came flooding back. Tears formed at the corners of my eyes. “I thought I was over that.” I wiped the tears away with a napkin.

“You never did say how your parents died, only that they were gone.”

“In a car because of a drunk driver. They never knew what hit them. At least I thank God for that.” I sniffled more as the tears flowed at the memory of that terrible day. Toni moved over next to me and hugged me tightly.

“It’s OK, Bear. I miss my little brother too.” Now the tears were flowing from her eyes too. We sat there hugging each other and crying for nearly a half hour before either of us felt like speaking again. The sky had turned darker and a cooler wind blew in from the northwest.

I tentatively sniffed the air. “Toni, we need to…”

“I smell it too and I just felt a drop. Damn and just when we were having fun too.”

“If you call setting here bawling our eyes out fun I don't want to even think about what a bad time is for you.” Just then the skies opened up. We got drenched through to the skin before we could get the Tank loaded with our stuff.

“You’re completely soaked, Bear!”

“Looks like you need to wriggle over the seat and make a quick change yourself.” She looked down to find that her halter top was plastered to her skin showing all of her charms including two very hard nipples.

“Yeah, well, cold water does that to you.”

“I can see that. Let me get this thing moving. Maybe a little warm air in here will help dry us off and calm things down a bit.” As I fired up the Tank she grabbed her bag from the back seat, opened it and tossed me a towel then dug another out for herself.

“Here, dry off your hair before we get moving. You’re dripping all over me.”

“And you’re sitting in a puddle on the seat!” I finished drying my hair then folded the towel and placed it under her when she boosted herself off the seat momentarily.

She took a T-shirt out of her bag then looked at the solidly fogged windows. She shrugged her shoulders then pulled off her halter-top tossing it in the back seat. Her bra was built into the halter-top. The T-shirt went on and got tied around her middle just under her breasts. She looked over at me as I sat there with my mouth open. "What?"

"I didn't think you would do that, Toni."

"Bear, I'm NOT ashamed of my body. I've worked very hard to get it like this. I was a real 'chubbette' as a kid. For the shows I have to change costumes at least a dozen times in a screened-off area with fifteen other people both men and women. Please don't misunderstand. I don't think it's a good idea for an idol type figure like me to be running around nude, a lot of younger girls look up to me as a role model. I have to be very careful of what I do and say in public because of it. Like I said, it's not easy being a star. There are days I want to chuck it all and just be plain old Antionette Baker, schoolgirl and cheerleader wanna-be."

I grabbed a small cloth I kept stuffed between the seats and began to wipe off the fog from the inside of the windows. I reached over as far as I could toward Toni then she took the cloth and finished the windshield and the windows on the passenger side as far back as she could reach.

I pulled out of the lot at the park and pointed the Tank north toward Chittenengo. Toni got the tray of brownies from the back seat and removed the foil covering. She handed me a sample. Not so long after, a good part of the brownies in the tray had disappeared. She had almost as many as I did! About fourty-five minutes later we were moving through East Syracuse headed for the Dome. As I neared a small gas station and convenience store I slowed down then pulled into their parking lot. They had a small ice cream parlor on the back side of the place.

"Toni, I'm going to get a shake to wash down those brownies. Would you like anything?"

"Sure. What have they got?"

"Lots of stuff. Want to come in?" She grabbed her purse then hit the latch for the seat belt. "I'll take that as a yes."

We entered the parlor. I looked at the hard ice cream list and was pleased to see a flavor available called Triple Chocolate.

The girl behind the counter asked me what I wanted. "A chocolate shake please. Could you make that with the Triple Chocolate ice cream and give it a double shot of the chocolate syrup?"

"So YOU'RE the guy they told me about. One 'Death by Chocolate' shake coming right up."

"Umm. Could you make that two please?"

"Another one? You sure?" Toni nodded her head. "Ok but it's going right to those hips though."

"I'll work it off tonight and tomorrow night." Toni smiled at the bewildered girl running the shake mixer.

"I guess you do don't you, Toni? Want to get something for supper after the rehearsal?"

"No. We still have stuff left in the ice chest. Better get another bag of ice, Bear. I don't want all of that wonderful barbecue from the party last night to go to waste either."

"We can always take it into the Dome with us tonight. I'm sure we'd have help finishing it."

The girl fixing the shakes put them on the counter in front of us. "Did I hear you say something about the Dome and a rehearsal just now?"

I looked over at Toni. She winked back at me. "Yes, you did." The girl looked intensely at Toni for several seconds.

"OH MY GOD YOU'RE HER! Jennie, come QUICK. It's Toni Baker!"

The other girl in the store came racing into the ice cream shop from the grocery store side. They hugged each other while screaming and jumping up and down. Toni was busy digging in her purse for a couple of pictures and a felt tip pen.

The girls finally calmed down enough for Toni to ask their names and sign a picture for each of them. The girls started telling a tale of woe about not being able to get tickets for the concerts because everything was sold out before they got to the ticket window. Toni winked at me then reached into her purse. She produced two tickets handing one to each of the squealing girls. The girls wanted to give us the shakes but Toni insisted that it wouldn’t be fair to the store or the girls and paid for them herself. We left two deliriously happy teenagers in our wake as we headed for the Dome.

“That was fun to watch, Toni. Do you always carry around a few tickets?”

“Sometimes, Bear. I get about two dozen tickets when I get into a city for the concerts. Usually I make sure the media I talk with has enough to get reviewers and critics in wherever I play. It’s good business. Then I give some to radio stations I visit as on-the-air giveaways while I’m at the station. In situations like this, the tickets are usually the last ones available because of sell-outs. They’re better than gold. Remember when Tyler said he gave some to the Dinosaur crew?” I nodded in agreement. “Then there are situations like the girls back there. It makes me feel good to see the look on their faces when they realize they can go to the show. Makes me happy that they are happy.”

“So there are a few compensations for being a famous rock star aren’t there? Seems like a reasonable tradeoff to me. Sure you had to grow up quickly but look at the opportunities you have now.”

“I guess you have a point there, Bear. Most days the negatives seem to outweigh the positives. I still keep doing it though. I can’t help myself when it comes to creating the music. It just feels so good when people appreciate my work with their applause. If I take that into the equation I think it all balances out somehow.”

“I think I know how you feel, Toni. I get such a kick out of getting it recorded. There’s nothing better for me than capturing the very essence of a performance. When I can be a part of creating that performance as well as capturing it then its really special.”

“Just remember that you could do that a lot more if you did come to work for me mixing my records and shows.”

“Let’s see how well I can do tomorrow night. If it isn’t a fluke that I did so well I’ll consider it, Toni. We’re about ten minutes away from the Dome. Did you need to change into anything else before we get there? The press will probably be hanging around.”

“Nope. This is fine, Bear. So what’s the Dome like inside anyway?”

“It looks huge. Imagine a football field and bleachers covered by a domed roof. The roof is help up by air pressure from fans blowing air inside the Dome.”

“Oh, something like those covered tennis courts I’ve seen?”

“Yup. It’s air conditioned in the summer and fully heated in the winter. There’s only one real problem with it. The sound in there can be terrible sometimes. Don’t expect good sound while we’re rehearsing tonight. The bleachers are made of concrete with steel and plastic seats. All of those hard surfaces reflect the sound back like a huge echo chamber. It gets a whole lot better with a full crowd in there to help dampen the echo.”

“So how will you record the show?”

“My digital gear handles two simultaneous stereo channels. I’ll take the stereo stage feed on stereo channel and a pair of audience microphones on the other. Later it can be mixed down properly for home stereo surround sound systems to give the full concert atmosphere.”

“Are you going to record tonight?”

“Yes, that’s the plan. We’ll be able to listen to it in the studio back home later to see how we did.”

I pulled up to the security checkpoint just outside the Dome parking lot. The guard checked our names on the list then waved us through. I headed for a huge roll-up door by a loading dock. As I pulled up one of my old road crew came out.

“Hey, Bear! Didn’t figure we’d see you here. What’s going on?”

“I’m mixing the shows for Toni tonight and Saturday. They haven’t found a replacement yet, Jerry. Can you get me in through the airlock? I have a truck full of gear to add to the mixing console.”

“Sure Bear. You know the procedure.” He went back inside the Dome. A minute later the overhead door rolled upwards. I pulled the Tank inside the bay and shut down the engine while the door closed behind us.

“Don’t worry about what happens next, Toni. Your ears might pop a bit. We’re in an air lock that keeps the pressure inside higher than the air pressure outside.” We heard a small roar as vents in the walls opened to let the pressure in the lock build slightly to match the pressure in the Dome. The roar subsided in a minute or so then the inside door opened. I started the Tank again and slowly moved into the arena.

Toni’s eyes almost popped out when she saw the size of the place. “It’s HUGE, Bear. I’ve never performed in a place like this before.”

“I’ve been here working sound for a football game or two. You can’t hear yourself think with a good crowd in here during a game.” The artificial turf had been removed along with the padding behind it leaving the bare floor visible. I stopped the Tank about twenty feet away from the already set up mixing console.

Toni stepped out of the truck looking at the high white ceiling. “How far is that up there, Bear?”

“Just over a hundred sixty feet and it weighs in at around two hundred twenty tons, yes that’s TONS. The only thing that holds it up is the air pressure in here from sixteen huge fans. They move a million cubic feet of air a minute to keep the roof up. If we lost power, the roof would slowly sag down until it was maybe twenty feet off the floor. There are large steel cables that keep the roof from expanding too far up or coming too far down. All of the lighting and stuff up there hangs from the cables imbedded in the fabric.”

“It’s incredible, Bear.”

“It was a real engineering feat when they built this place just over twenty years ago.” I put my arm across her shoulders. She responded by putting her arm around my waist.

“God, Bear, there are so many seats in here! How many people does this place handle anyway?” I felt her begin to shiver.

“Just under fifty thousand at capacity for a football game. Maybe a bit more if they put seats in the unused space on the field for your concerts.” I felt that her shaking was increasing.

“We’re all sold out for both shows! I’ll be performing in front of almost a hundred thousand people in ONE DAY!” By now the shaking was becoming visible.

“Haven’t you done all this before, Toni?” We walked around to the back of the truck. I dropped the tailgate and started to unload my equipment cases.

“NO! Chicago was the largest so far and that was only twenty-five thousand per show. I’m really scared, Bear. What do I do?” She jumped up on the tailgate of the Tank and slumped forward with her head in her hands sobbing loudly.

I heard a voice behind me. “What did you do, Bear? I swear if you did ANYTHING to her…” I turned around to see Tyler glaring at me.

“Ease up there, Tyler. She just got a look at this cavern. Has she ever performed in a place like this before?”

“No. Our last stop was the largest so far.”

“Do you know hope many people this place can hold, Tyler?”

“About twenty-five thousand?”

“No, Tyler. That’s when they have it set up for basketball games. This is the football configuration. We’ll have two shows of around FIFTY THOUSAND screaming fans each in here tomorrow.” Now HE slumped on the tailgate.

“Now you got ME scared, Bear. What are we gonna do? Can you handle this, Toni?”

“I don’t know, Tyler. I just don’t know.” I took a seat between them on the tailgate. Toni leaned closer to me putting her head on my shoulder. I put my arms around her and hugged her as her tears and shaking slowly stopped. Tyler was watching us closely.

“Toni, could I talk to you for a minute please? I have an idea that could help.”

“Sure Tyler. I’ll be right back, Bear.” I watched as they walked toward the stage. There were frequent glances over their shoulders and pointing back in my direction. I finished unloading the Tank then moved it further away from the console and stage area. I busied myself preparing the recording gear.

Toni and Tyler appeared about fifteen minutes later. “Ummm… Bear, I, ahhh, we need to talk to you.”

“What’s up, Toni?” I dropped into the seat at the console.

“Well, you see… Tyler has this idea that would help me…” She looked over at Tyler.

“Ok, Tyler, what’s going on now?” I began to feel rather uneasy about this.

“Bear, I’ve been noticing how relaxed Toni feels with you around. I wanted to know if you would appear with her on stage tonight at the show’s opening for both performances.”

“YOU WANT ME TO GET UP THERE? Are you two crazy? This is the Toni Baker show. The crowd will boo me right off the stage, I haven't got any talent for that.”

I saw a very sad expression sweep over Toni’s face. She plunked down into the chair next to me. “Please, Bear? It means so much to me. This is the biggest audience I’ve ever faced. I need you to help me with this. I don’t know if I can handle it all alone up there.”

I looked over to see that her shivering had returned and tears had formed in the corners of her eyes. I sighed then took a deep breath to steady myself realizing I might regret making this decision. “How long?”

“What?”

“How long will you need me up there? I can’t mix and record back here if I’m up there too.”

Toni’s sprits brightened considerably. “Does that mean yes?”

“If I’m not up there for the entire show it does.”

Toni launched off the chair and showered me with kisses and hugs. I will never understand how someone so small can hug like that. “Thanks, Bear! You’ll never know how happy that makes me feel.”

“That’s all right, Toni. Now how are you two going to explain me being on stage with her? Have you thought of that?”

The discussion over the next hour revolved around what we were going to do and how to do it. Costumes, props and arrangements with the band for the music were worked out. It would require some practice in the morning for everyone concerned though. Toni was positively floating on air as the group broke up to continue on with the normal rehearsal.

“I know it will work. Bear. It’s a great idea! The crowd is just gonna go wild!”

“I hope so, Toni, I dearly hope so. Now get up there so we can get this finished. We have a LOT to do tomorrow before the show starts if it’s going to work.” She bounded up to the stage.

The recording equipment worked fine. We finished up the rehearsal just before nine o’clock. After some final discussions we left with the understanding we would all be back at the Dome at around nine in the morning to work out the final preparations for the new opening of the shows.

The left-over barbecue had disappeared from the cooler during a break in the rehearsal. As we loaded everything back in the Tank, Toni looked a little tired. “Want to go right home, Toni?”

“Do you read minds too, Bear?”

“Just faces. You look like I feel. Come on, let’s go.”

Toni dozed in the passenger seat all the way home. She was still sleeping when I turned into the driveway, pulled up to the house and turned off the engine. I gently picked her up from the front seat of the Tank and carried her to the front porch. As I was fumbling for the key trying to hold Toni she woke up. Realizing where she was she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “You can put me down now, Bear.”

I placed her gently on the seat on the porch and plunked down beside her. “Hi sleepy head. Ready for bedtime?”

“Am I ever. Thanks for agreeing to help me. It means a lot to me.”

‘S’no problem, Toni. As long as it helps you get through the show. I know it was quite a shock to learn how big the crowd will be tomorrow.”

“You got that right. Come on. I’m heading for the bed and fast.” She got up and waited for me to unlock the door. I locked it again as we split for our own rooms.

“G’night, Toni.”

“’night, Bear. And thanks…”

I almost fell into bed after changing into my pajamas. Sleep came in just a few minutes.

It was just after three in the morning when I woke up with a very urgent need to use the bathroom. As I started to move I realized someone besides me was in my bed again. The red hair obscuring my vision again was a good indication of who it was. She woke up as I got up.

“Bear….??”

“Go back to sleep, Toni. I need to use the bathroom.”

“mmmmm…” was the only response I got.

I crawled back in bed a few minutes later. Toni felt the bed move and snuggled back up to me again. I put an arm over her middle then fell asleep.

I wondered why the alarm clock was buzzing until I remembered what today was and what had to be done. I opened my eyes to find that once again red hair was everywhere blocking my vision. As I started to move, Toni’s eyes popped open and she smiled.

“Morning, Bear. How are you?”

“Fine so far. How about we both get up and get busy. We need to be at the Dome in just two hours. Will you fix something real quick for breakfast?”

“How about some toaster waffles and sausage? I have some sausage cooked already in the fridge. It’ll take only a few minutes to nuke it in the microwave.”

“Sounds good to me. OJ and some toast too?”

“You got it. Now let me up.” She got out of bed and walked back to her room. I headed for the bathroom again.

Thirty minutes later I was dressed and heading for the kitchen. Toni was already there. “Have a seat, Bear. Breakfast is almost ready.”

I sat down at the table and took a drink of the orange juice then nibbled at the toast on the plate. Toni joined me at the table after a few minutes.

“Do you really think this will work, Toni?”

“Of course it will. It’s all how you present it, Bear.”

“I wish I had as much confidence as you do about it. I keep thinking I’ll look like a fool up there.”

“So?”

“I don’t want to be laughed at, Toni.”

“Who cares as long as they laugh, Bear. Isn’t it better they laugh than boo at us? I would much rather hear laughter than disapproval from the audience. Laughter means they’ve accepted what you’re doing.” I thought about that for several seconds.

“I’d have to agree with that. I guess it doesn’t matter as much as I thought.

“So you’re ok with this?”

“Hey, I’m just as nervous as you are, maybe more. I’ve never been in front of more than a couple of hundred people in an audience before, Toni.”

“Where was that?”

“I used to belong to a computer users group many years ago. I had to give am impromptu presentation when the person that was supposed to speak couldn’t attend. I had no time to prepare and no notes to work from. I was never so nervous in my entire life.”

“Since you’re still here I take it you didn’t die of a massive embarrassment overload?”

“I got a standing ovation after almost two hours. That included a rather long question and answer session too.”

“So what’s the problem doing this?”

“I knew what I was doing then, Toni. I have no idea what I’m doing now.”

“We’ll get through this together, Bear. Wait and see.”

I shrugged and finished my breakfast then we put the dishes in the washer and started it. I went to my room and found several items of clothing I needed and stuffed them in a gym bag. I met Toni by the front door.

“Got everything, Toni?”

“All set. Let’s roll.”

I locked the front door. In a couple of minutes the Tank rumbled to life then I pointed the truck at Syracuse. I jammed the CD I made last night in the radio then adjusted the volume as it started to play. Toni listened intensely to the song four or five times then began to sing along with it. By the time the tenth repeat came along she had it down cold. I hoped the band would be as good. “How did you learn that so fast?”

“Phonographic memory.”

“Hmmmmmm?”

“Phonographic memory. I remember music and lyrics very well. Sometimes it’s a gift, other times a curse.”

“Well today I’m glad it’s a gift.”

As we puled into the lot at the Dome I noticed several trucks marked ‘Truxton Tele-productions’ parked next to the airlock of the Dome. I made a mental note to ask Tyler what that was all about. We walked into the Dome through a revolving door into the backstage area. I flagged Tyler down as he hurried past.

“Bear, thank God you’re here. I just found out the record company sent a TV crew to tape the shows. I didn’t know till I got here this morning.”

“I was going to ask about the trucks outside. If they need an audio feed, that’s not a problem. Have their engineer meet me back at the console in a little while.”

“Thanks, Bear. We really owe you for this one.” Tyler scurried off muttering to himself.

“Well, that’s a surprise. Looks like this will be on television at some point too. Now if I make a fool of myself it gets broadcast all over the world.”

“What do you mean ‘If I make a fool of myself’, Bear? I’m right beside you out there. I’ll look like a fool just as much as you will.”

“Sorry, Toni. I’m sacred too. I’ve never done anything like this before.” I noticed someone standing next to the console. “I need to go see what the television people want.” Toni headed for the backstage area. I walked back to the mixing console.

The TV crew needed a feed of the stage audio. I patched them into the console then put some audio from a test CD into the system. The technician confirmed the feed was working with the production truck outside the Dome.

About an hour later we started rehearsing the small portion of the show when I would be on the stage with Toni. We wound up going through that section of the show five more times until I felt that I had a reasonable chance of doing it without messing up badly when I did it for real. It also gave the poor guy I selected from the road crew a chance to get used to the board. He would run things until I was finished on stage then I would resume my normal place and run the system for the rest of the show.

The backstage area turned out to actually be under the stage. The stage itself was a raised platform about twelve feet above the actual floor of the dome. All of the space under it was divided into small rooms by cloth curtains hung between the support posts. There were several storage areas for props and costumes, a small lounge area for the band and cast. Other rooms included a couple of changing areas and a small room for Toni. As I watched all of the activity, I saw several camera crews with portable equipment scurrying around. They were taping the behind the scenes goings-on. I shrugged then went on to look for Toni.

I caught up with Toni in her room. As I entered she was sitting on an old well-worn sofa with her legs pulled so her knees were under her chin. She was holding on to her legs and rocking slightly on the couch looking very much like a lost and very scared little girl. When I took a seat beside her I could hear her muttering. “So many people… so many people…”

“Toni, are you all right?”

“Hmmm… oh… I’m fine, Bear.”

“Liar.” She rolled over on her side curling up into a ball with her head on my lap looking up at me.

“I know. It’s just so scary.”

“Toni, you’ll do fine tonight. Just remember that every one of those people out there wanted to come and see you perform. It’s a friendly audience. On top of that, I think this might be the first time this place is a sell-out for anything other than a football game. And you did it twice in one day. That’s incredible.”

Her sniffles subsided as she realized the significance of the performances today. “I guess this means that I finally made it doesn’t it, Bear.”

“From what I know about you, Toni, you ‘made it’ the very first day you appeared on that kids TV show in Chicago. You have a whole range of possibilities you haven’t even explored yet. Writing your own music, playing your own music, acting, and lots more.”

She uncurled and sat back up then turned toward me. “You’re right, Bear. I concentrated so much on my music career that I forgot about the other possibilities. I suppose that I should feel good about the performances tonight rather than be scared of all of the people. They paid to come and I have to give them the best show possible.”

“Yes you do and I’ll be there to help. Are you going to be all right now, Toni?”

“Yes, Papa Bear. I’ll be fine. Say, why don’t you get your costume and come back here to change. I’ll go get into mine in the changing room and we’ll see how well we match.”

“Ok. Let’s do it.” I retrieved my costume from the wardrobe department and got dressed in Toni’s room. A few minutes later Toni appeared in her outfit. We looked each other over from head to toe.

“Nice outfit, Toni.” She had on some skintight low rider black jeans and a bright blue halter-top. Over the halter-top was a short leather vest with leather fringe that hung down almost six inches from the bottom of the vest. She wore a black wig with long straight hair hanging down well past her waist. She looked a few inches taller since she was wearing some sixties style wide high heels with what had to be a four inch rise.

“You look great too, Bear.” I was wearing black jeans, a shirt in the same electric blue color as Toni’s top and a similar style leather vest with fringe. I was given a pair of western boots with a silver toe and a low heel. “I see only one thing wrong with your outfit, Bear.”

“What’s that, Toni?”

“Just stay there. I’ll be right back.” A couple of minutes later Toni returned with someone from the makeup department carrying what looked to be shaving supplies.

“Ummm… Toni, what did you have in mind?” I wasn’t sure I was going to like the answer.

“You need to get rid if that beard. We’ll let you keep the moustache and some heavy sideburns though.”

“But, Toni…”

“No buts, Bear.” She nodded to the makeup woman to start shaving. I decided not to fight it and let them remove most of my beard. It would grow back anyway.

“Bear, you look great under all of that fuzz. Why are you hiding your face?”

“No real reason other than the biker look, Toni. I just wanted to be left alone. You coming into my life has changed that.” I looked in the mirror that was offered and saw a face I hadn’t seen in at least ten years or more.

Toni put her arms around my neck then kissed me on my newly-shaven cheek. “That’s so much better than kissing you through that beard. Let’s go show everyone your new look!” She grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the dressing rooms.

The comments I got were one hundred percent positive in the change in my appearance. There was even some interest in a date or two expressed by some of Toni’s female backup singers and dancers. I left the dressing rooms in a mental fog.

Show time was just minutes away as we walked in the maze-like hallways of the space below the stage. We wound up at what looked like a small elevator. As I looked at it I could see that a section of the stage floor would slide aside and a platform rise up through the stage. Anyone standing on the platform would appear to be rising through the stage. The stage opening had a ring of pipe with small holes around it. The ring was connected to a fog generator so that a wall of fog could surround the opening.

“Remember, Bear, stay close to me as we’re being lifted up, as soon as the fog starts to clear step through it. Ok?”

“Ok, Toni.” We stepped onto the waiting platform and listened to the announcer warming up the crowd. Toni looked up at me and squeezed my hand. The announcer finished his warm up and introduced us. “ … and now ladies and gentlemen, here’s Toni and Bear!” We hugged each other tightly. It was impossible for me to tell which of us was shaking more than the other.

The band started the first tune, Sonny and Cher’s ‘The Beat Goes On’. We took a deep breath and held it as we popped up inside the fog cloud then stepped forward.

I played Sonny to Toni’s Cher. The audience had figured out the joke and got into the sprit of things by applauding. The roar was almost deafening. We made it through the first song then began a short session of jokes and digs at each other as we had planned.

"Hi everyone. Thanks Cleveland! We're so glad to be here we…"

"Um… Bear… We're in Syracuse."

"This is Wednesday isn't it? If it’s Wednesday we must be in Cleveland."

"No, it's Saturday, Bear."

"Are you sure, Toni? My watch says Wednesday." I looked closely at my watch and tapped the face of it. "Look. It's a Rolex. It CAN'T be wrong!"

"Let me see that." She pulled my arm over to see the watch.

"That's NOT a Rolex you idiot! It says RELOX! Where did you get this watch?"

"I bought it from a guy at one of our last concerts. He was selling these on the sidewalk outside the theater. I paid five ninety-five for that!"

"Five HUNDRED ninety-five dollars for a RELOX? Boy did they see you coming!"

"I paid 5 dollars and ninety five cents for it. I may be dumb but I'm not THAT stupid!" The audience laughed and applauded.

"Anyway, this is Saturday and we’re in Syracuse, NOT Cleveland."

"Are you sure, Toni?"

She looked out at the audience. "Will YOU tell him where we are please?" The audience delighted in yelling out "SYRACUSE!" loud and clear.

"OK. OK I admit it. I misplaced a whole city." I lifted my arm and gently rested my elbow on Toni's head looking I was leaning on her.

"I'd say you misplaced your deodorant too." She waved her hand in front of her nose and made a face like she smelled something real bad then she lifted my elbow off her head and let it drop to my side.

The routine lasted another fifteen minutes. The audience was roaring with laughter when we finished.

"Well, Toni, I want to declare a truce. I won't do any more short jokes if you stay away from the fat jokes. Deal?"

She looked thoughtful for a few seconds. "Deal, Bear."

"Deal, munchkin." We hugged each other again as I stood with my back to the audience. Toni made an effort to hug me around my middle. When she couldn't reach all the way around, she made the exaggerated hand gestures we had planned to the audience. I heard a wave of laughter behind me as the audience got the joke.

We kissed briefly then closed with ‘I Got You Babe’ holding hands during the song. I waved goodbye and blew her a kiss as Toni left the stage to do her first costume change.

“Well, that wraps up the show tonight. Thanks for coming folks!” I turned to walk backstage. The audience roared their disapproval. “Oh, sorry about that. You wanted to hear more?” The response was a reverberating yes.

We figured that Toni would need several minutes to make the costume change and get into position so she asked me to do a solo. The band started playing “The Ballad of Thunder Road” by Robert Mitchum.

"Let me tell the story, I can tell it all. About the mountain boy who ran illegal alcohol. His Daddy made the whiskey, the son he drove the load. When his engine roared they called the highway Thunder Road. Sometimes into Ashville…"

The simple bass, guitar and drums instrumental reverberated through the Dome. The background singers joined in on the chorus and provided a choral background. As the song finished, the audience roared with approval. I bowed and waved to the audience then handed the wireless mic to one of the band members and walked back toward the mixing console. The band broke into the instrumental of Thunder Road as I walked down the stairs at the edge of the stage.

Even though an isle had been blocked off to allow easy access to the mixing console the crowd wanted to shake my hand or get an autograph. I managed to shake a few hands and do a couple of autographs before I made it back to relieve the road crew person at the controls. The band ended the instrumental as I reached the mixing console.

Moments after I sat down at the mixing board the spotlights lit up another fog cloud on the stage. Toni burst through the fog and started in with her regular show. The next two hours were almost a blur. During the intro section of the show Toni asked me to stand up again. The response from the audience was even greater than it had been at the Chicago show a week earlier. I suddenly gained an understanding of why Toni continued on with her performing career even though it had as many problems as it did benefits. The response from the audience for your work was the most important thing of all. I vowed then and there not to get addicted to it.

The performance ended to thunderous applause from the audience and not one but two encores by Toni and the band. It took nearly half an hour for the crowd to clear out. The next show started at eight PM so we had almost four hours to relax. I went outside the Dome to check on the weather and spotted the Dinosaur Barbecue crew cooking again. I went back inside the dome to find Toni.

She was relaxing on the old couch in her room under the stage.

“Toni, can I come in?”

“Sure, Bear. Thanks for going on with me this afternoon. Did you have fun?” I got comfortable on the couch next to her.

“I don’t have to go on again tonight do I? You are over your case of crowd shock aren’t you?”

“Sadly, yes. I had so much fun that I was hoping you wanted to do it again tonight but if you’d rather not I won’t make you.”

“I think I’ll just stay with running the sound, Toni. I do understand now why you put up with all of the hassles of being a star. The feeling you get when the audience applauds your effort can be mighty addicting can’t it?”

“It is, Bear. There’s no other feeling like it. Sure you don’t want to get that feeling again?”

“Positive, Toni.”

“Well you can’t blame me for trying can you?” She leaned over and hugged me.

“Hey, do you want to head out to the TV truck to see what the concert looked like?”

“Sure, let’s go. Let me tell Tyler where we’re going first.” We walked out toward the truck. Tyler appeared headed in the same direction.

“Going to take a look too?”

“Yes, Bear. We’ve never had video from one of Toni’s live concerts before.” We walked up the short set of steps in front of the truck and knocked on the door.

We were invited inside the production truck. One end was a small room with a rather large television and a good sound system. We got comfortable in the chairs then the TV crew started the playback.

I wanted to hide when I saw myself step out of the fog bank with Toni. I looked totally out of place and extremely nervous for the first minute or so. As the first song finished you could see that I had loosened up considerably. Performing was one thing, watching yourself perform was a completely different experience.

The audience response at first was tentative on the part of the audience. As the comedy routine progressed, they got into the spirit of the performance. By the time we finished the second song and Toni left they really got into it. The response to my solo number was larger than I first thought. I watched myself wade through the crowd signing autographs and shaking hands. I realized it took almost 3 minutes to get back to the console. We watched the first hour or so of the concert then heard a knock on the door. Someone poked their head in and told us we were wanted outside. We found one of the band members waiting for us.

“Toni, you and Bear have GOT to hear this!” We walked over to a car in the parking lot. The doors were open and the radio was turned up loud and tuned to one of the local FM stations that played Toni’s music.

“…and the surprise hit of the concert according to our listeners that attended this afternoon’s performance is Robert “Bear” Thompson. He apparently mixes the sound for Toni Baker’s concert tour. Mister Thompson appeared on stage with Toni doing a hilarious take-off on Sonny and Cher to warm up the crowd. His solo rendition of “Thunder Road” especially appealed to the audience. We’ve just learned that Mister Thompson is indeed a central New York native living in the Syracuse area. If you have any more information about him please give us a call at the station. Let’s listen now to some calls from people that attended the afternoon concert…”

I listened in shock at the response from some of the comments. Toni worked her way over to my side and looped her arm around one of mine almost as if to steady me on my feet. I was glad she was there because I still couldn’t believe all of the positive comments the listeners were making about that particular part of the show.

“…and there you have it folks. Those of you lucky enough to have tickets for tonight’s sold-out performance had better be sure to go or you’ll miss a real treat. We’re still looking for information on the mysterious Mister Thompson. We’re also sending someone over to the Dome to see if we can get an interview with him. If you know anything about him call me at 702…”

I was shaking my head in disbelief as Toni and I walked back inside the dome. As the shock slowly wore off I found myself propped up on the couch in Toni’s room under the stage. When my eyes were capable of focusing again Toni’s face came into view.

“Welcome back to Earth, Bear. You kinda zoned out on us there for a while. Are you feeling better?”

“I…I…”

“Welcome to my world now, Bear. Looks like you’re going on again tonight. Your fans demand it.”

“But you said…”

“I know what I said but that’s all changed now hasn’t it? You’re going to have people out there expecting to see you perform tonight. Do you want to disappoint them?”

“Well, no, but I…”

“Then let’s get you some supper. We’ll talk about it afterward.” Toni helped me get up then steered me toward a large room that had been pressed into service as a cafeteria for the band and dancers. I saw all of the road crew and television crew there too. “Don’t worry about them, Bear. I had Tyler make sure that the Dino folks brought loads of food with them. Now sit down here. I’ll be right back.”

Band members started to crowd around me patting me on the back about the performance. I was still in shock when Toni brought over a plate of food and a large glass of soda. "Here you go, Bear, dig in."

I looked at the food as my stomach turned summersaults. "Toni, I think if I had anything to eat right now that I would be in big trouble later. Let me work on the soda and see how I feel." Over the next thirty minutes I had some of the soda and barely picked at the food. My stomach had calmed down some but it did little flip-flops now and then to let me know it was still there.

"Is that all you're going to have for supper, Bear?"

"I'm 'fraid so, Toni. I think if I had any more I'd toss it later." I got up then realized I had at least physically recovered from the shock. My mental state was another matter entirely. I followed Toni back to her room under the stage.

"So what are you going to do, Bear? We have around two hours until the next show."

"I'm going to get comfortable on the couch and see if I can calm down some more."

"Sounds good to me. Want me wake you in about an hour?"

"Sure, Toni. I don't think I'll be able to sleep though." I closed my eyes and settled down on the couch. The next thing I felt was a hand on my shoulder shaking me.

"Couldn't sleep huh? I've been trying to wake you for the last five minutes!" I got up and stretched my arms and legs. "Feeling better now?"

"Yes, quite a bit but I still have to go on don't I?"

"Not unless you want at least half the audience to get out the tar and feathers. We sent out someone to check out the folks waiting on the lines. Seems you're the talk of the town. The news has been on almost every radio station in town for the last few hours."

I looked toward where the sky should be. "Why ME, God? What did I do to get into this?"

"Don't worry about it. You'll do fine out there." Toni hugged the stuffing out of me again. I swore I would have to ask her how she did that.

The last hour before show time flew by. I wasn't given much time to even think about what was coming since I had to set up the sound system again for the opening of the show and have the same person as earlier watch the controls again. Since the crowd hadn't seen me on stage, I felt rather anonymous while I was sitting at the console. I realized as I walked back toward the stage after the final checks that my days of being an unknown might be coming to an abrupt end.

I met up with Toni at the lift that would carry us up through the stage. We listened again as the announcer did his job and the band started the first beats of the opening song.

The act went pretty much as it had earlier in the day with the audience being uncertain what was going on. By the end of the first song everyone had figured it out and got into the spirit of the performance. The major difference from our earlier performance came as I started to leave the stage after the 'Thunder Road' number. The audience started to chant, "Bear, Bear, Bear!"

I turned around and grabbed the wireless mic. "Want to hear one more?" The answer was a resounding "YES!" from the audience. As we had agreed on earlier the band started playing the Smash Mouth version of 'I'm A Believer'. As I started in on the first chorus the audience let out a roar and a few people in the first few rows started pointing at something behind me. I looked back to see that Toni had joined the backup singers. Every time I sang 'and I saw her face' the large screen projection systems had a shot of Toni with the backup singers. I played off that and pulled Toni out of the background to come with me at the front of the stage. She stayed beside me and danced as I sang.

I handed the wireless microphone to Toni as the song finished. "Give a big round of applause for Robert 'Bear' Thompson and thank you for letting us have some extra fun to get the show started!" I held Toni's hand as we both bowed to the audience and waved. I walked down the stairs at the edge of the stage to head back to the mixing console. I was engulfed by a large crowd looking for autographs until I was rescued by several security people. We made it back to the console where I relieved the crew person that had served as my substitute. I noticed that two of the security staff remained with me at the console.

I waved to Toni and the band that I was in place. At my signal the band started the normal portion of the show. I didn't think it was possible but over the next two hours Toni and the band easily blew away their Chicago performance. I knew as the last notes of the third encore reverberated away that this would be the show that made it onto CDs for release.

The crowd slowly left the Dome, a few stopping by the console area to ask for autographs or to comment on my performance under the supervision of the security staff. The comments were mostly positive. A few dissenters wondered if I had paid off someone to get on stage. Since they were in the minority by a huge amount, I tossed their comments aside. The last of the crowd was gone as I asked the fellow who was running the camera position next to me what the TV crew thought of the show. I was told that the director in the truck was floating on air and that the crew in general agreed that the performance was one of the best they had ever taped. He also told me that the VHS tapes that Tyler had requested were ready and that we could pick them up in the production truck before we left.

I pulled the Tank in through the air lock and loaded my recording gear into the back. On my way to find Toni, I passed the word to Tyler that the videotapes were ready. Toni was in her room packing a small bag. "Are you almost ready, Toni?"

"Be right with you, Bear. I'm so wound up I don't think I'll be able to get to sleep for a while."

"Do you want to get something to eat?"

"No, Bear, I just want to go home."

"Well, I'm ready to get out of here." She grabbed the bag and her purse then followed me to the Tank.

We passed through the air lock then I pointed the Tank south toward home. I couldn't wake Toni from the sleep she had dropped into on the trip home. I carried her into her room and gently placed the sleeping teen on the bed. I left pulling the door closed behind me. It wasn't very long until I had changed into my pajamas, crawled into my own bed and joined Toni in dreamland.

I woke once again to a mane of red hair blocking my vision. I moved the hair out of my face to find Toni snuggled up behind me. I felt an arm draped over my middle. I sighed then, noting it was Sunday, decided to go back to sleep. The next time I woke up the bed behind me was empty and the smell of French toast, eggs and hash browns filled the bedroom.

Toni yelled from the kitchen. “Come on, Bear, time to get up!”

“Ok.MOM! I’m up already.” I headed to the bathroom to do the usual morning ritual. I wound up dressed in another polo shirt and some old cut-off jeans I used as shorts. A pair of well-worn sneakers and clean socks completed the outfit. I took a seat at the kitchen table as Toni put a plate filled with breakfast in front of me.

“So what do you want to drink. Bear?”

“Ummm… how about orange juice if we have any. I think we need to make another grocery run today don’t we?”

“If you want any more milk or eggs or orange juice along with a few other things we do need to make a trip. I already talked with Tyler this morning. He’ll be here just before lunch with some of the leftovers from the buffet last night. He says we need to make some decisions about the shows too, which one to use as the concert release.”

“I can set up the editors in the studio to hear the recordings from yesterday. Did Tyler get the videotapes from the TV truck?”

“He said he has VHS copies of both shows. The digital masters are still with the production company. We can get copies of them any time. And we also need to make a decision about you, Bear.”

I had been stalling as long as I could in making a decision about continuing on to mix shows for Toni. I sighed as I looked at Toni. “All right, Toni. I’ll make my decision today. Let’s get finished with breakfast then we’ll make the grocery run.” I looked over at the clock on the counter and realized it was a bit after nine in the morning. “Toni, why did you let me sleep so long?”

“You needed it, Bear, and so did I. Last night’s performances took a lot out of me.”

“And me too. Let’s get busy though. I think we have a very long afternoon ahead of us.” I finished breakfast then went to unload the Tank as Toni finished cleaning the kitchen and getting the dishwasher loaded. She wouldn’t let me help, I got tossed out of my own kitchen.

I carried the storage cases back down to the studio and unpacked the primary editing system. I plugged the notebook into the in-house network then transferred the digital audio files from last night to the main workstation PC in the studio. The same audio software and digitizing hardware were installed on it so I didn’t have to tear things apart every time I recorded away from the studio. I started the second concert playing as Andrea followed Toni into the studio.

“Is that the second show?” I nodded as Toni dropped into the chair beside me. Andrea pulled up a chair behind us. I set up the stage feed on speakers in front of us. The feed from the two ‘room’ microphones went to a pair of speakers behind us. The announcer finished the introduction as the first notes of ‘The Beat Goes On’ started. Toni was absolutely beaming as the vocal started. We listened through to the start of Toni’s solo performance before I turned the system down.

I turned to face Toni. “Well?”

“If my stuff is as good as this is I’d say the second Syracuse show is the one. I want to see what the video looks like. If it looks as good as this sounds we’ve got a winner here.”

“Now if we could just take out the stuff where I was on stage…” Toni cut me off.

“Not a chance, Bear. You were just as much a part of that show as I was. You should be very proud of what you did on stage last night. You did very well and the audience really liked your performance. Didn’t you hear all of that applause?”

“They were only applauding like that because I was LEAVING the stage.”

“Then why did they ask for an encore?”

I didn’t have an answer for that one. “Let’s just go get groceries shall we? By this time everyone’s forgotten about last night anyway. You’re the famous one here, Toni, not me. Are you going in your disguise?”

“I have everything all set. Give me about fifteen minutes to change and I’ll be ready.” She left for her bedroom with Andrea as I shut down the studio equipment. By the time I got the gear powered down and the computer turned off, Toni was waiting for me in the living room. This time she was dressed in a knee length dress and sandals. Instead of her normal red hair she wore a short blonde wig. She added a pair of sunglasses and very little makeup.

“That’s a good look, Toni. No one will recognize you.”

“It’s not me I’m worried about, Bear. It’s you.”

“ME? Why in the world would someone remember me? Stop worrying and let’s go.” Toni followed me out to the Tank. Inside of twenty minutes we were pulling into the parking lot at the store. I told Toni I would catch up to her then went to look at some magazines for a little while. As I looked at the magazines I kept feeling as if someone was watching me. I looked around a couple of times to see nobody near me. When it happened again, I turned around directly into a group of people standing behind me.

A small girl stepped forward. “Can I get your autograph please?” She handed me a copy of the morning newspaper. The picture took up at least half of the front page and showed a full-face shot of me at the concert last night with a microphone in my hand. The headline read “Local musician performs with nationally known artist” in type that took up the rest of the page. My heart just melted as I looked down at the pleading look on the girl’s face.

“Of course I’ll sign it.” I signed the girl’s newspaper as more people joined the line each carrying a copy of the paper. I lost count after somewhere around twenty people. I caught sight of Toni out of the corner of my eye and motioned for her to come over. She giggled then stuck her tongue out at me as if to say, “I TOLD YOU SO!” She left me standing there as she continued her shopping.

The line dwindled away so I took the magazines I wanted to the register. When I got in line I noticed Toni standing with the cart near the front door. As I placed the magazines on the counter the girl at the register took out another paper from under the counter and asked me to sign it. I signed the picture and handed the paper back to her. She smiled as she rang up the magazines and I paid for them. I saw Toni giggling to herself as I took the bag with the magazines from the girl.

As I neared Toni she pulled a paper out of a bag. “Excuse me, could I get your autograph please?”

I took the paper from her. “And who should I make it out to, miss?”

“Everyone calls me Toni with an ‘I’.” I signed the paper ‘To Toni, with all my love, Bear.’ and handed it back to her. She looked at the paper and jumped up and down squealing. I simply shook my head and walked slowly toward the Tank. Toni followed a few moments later giggling.

“So now YOU know what it feels like!”

“Why didn’t you come and rescue me back there?”

“You were doing just fine on your own. You didn’t need my help. Besides it was great to stand unrecognized and watch it happen to someone else for a change.” Now she completely lost it giggling again. “The look on your face when you saw the crowd behind you was priceless. I wish I had a camera to take a picture.”

I unloaded the shopping cart into the back of the Tank then shoved the cart into a nearby corral. “Come on Laughing Beauty. We need to get back to the house or did you forget that Tyler was coming over to talk business after lunch?” The giggling quickly subsided.

“No, I didn’t forget, Bear. This week has been so much fun being with you. I’d like you to travel with me and mix my concerts and have some fun too.”

“I’m still thinking about it, Toni.”

“Is there anything I can do to help you decide?”

“Nothing, Toni, except just keep being yourself. I’ve seen a lot of film and music stars lose themselves by getting wrapped up in the star trip that gets pushed on them. Whatever happens, please don’t fall into that trap, ok?”

“I’ll try, Bear, I’ll really try.”

Silence ruled for the rest of the trip back to the house. We carried the groceries into the kitchen then I got booted out again as Toni put everything away. I went back down to the studio and worked with the audio from the concerts. Since I was confident that the second concert would be the one they used I added a little more processing to the sound to reduce some low frequency rumble from the fans and enhance the ‘you are there’ feeling of the recording. I burned three CDs containing the entire show that I could play on the living room sound system.

By the time I was finished Tyler had arrived. He brought two large trays of the leftovers from the buffet last night. Toni was busy making sandwiches on fresh baked rolls from the store for lunch.

“Hi, Tyler. What’s up this morning?” He dropped into the chair across from me at the kitchen table.

“Well…” He had a funny look on his face, sort of like he had something he was dying to tell us.

“Out with it, Tyler, what’s going on now?”

“Ummm… the record company execs flew in for the concerts yesterday. I didn’t want to tell you or Toni because I knew how upset you both were already.”

“And…”

“And they loved what they heard! They saw the video this morning too. They want to release the second concert as a live album and use the video as a TV special subject to Toni’s approval of course.”

Toni joined us at the table. “That’s fantastic, Tyler!” She put a platter on the table with several large barbecue beef sandwiches on it.

“”Let’s move into the living room. I made some CDs we can listen to as we eat.”

“Good idea, Bear.” Toni picked up the platter and we followed her to the living room with our drinks. I put the first CD in the stereo system then I grabbed the remote control. “This is the second show from last night. I mixed it for a surround sound home system like mine. It’s pretty average as sound systems go these days. If it sounds good here it should sound good on most others.”

I hit the start button as my bottom hit the couch. We finished the sandwiches as the first CD completed. “These were great, Toni. Is there any more for tonight?”

“Lots more, Bear. The sound on the show is incredible. If the video is as good as this then I’m in favor of it.”

Tyler handed me a VHS tape. I put it in the VCR then punched a few buttons to take the sound from the VCR and feed it into the stereo system. I brought the fifty inch projection TV online and started the tape. We watched the screen as color bars formed then stabilized on the screen. We saw a countdown from ten to two then the screen went black. The video faded in with the audio as the announcer started to speak. We watched the entire show from start to finish. As the last notes faded I hit the stop button on the remote.

Tyler leaned back on the couch. “Well, Toni, what do you think?”

"The sound isn't the same as the CD Bear made. Other than that it look great."

"That can be fixed, Toni. When I realized that the TV folks were going to record the show, I had them give me a feed of their television sync signals. They're recorded along with the audio on my system. I can sync the sound I recorded perfectly to their video."

"Yom mean that the sound on the video can be exactly as good as the sound on the CD you made?"

"Of course, Tyler. If they did a DVD release of the whole concert, it could have the same quality sound as the CD release. In fact, most DVD disks include surround sound type audio tracks."

"I have to talk to the record company folks about this, Bear. A DVD release is a great idea! Can I use your phone?"

"Use the one in the kitchen, Tyler. I want to listen to the rest of the audio CD I made. You can close the door if it gets too loud in there." I reset the sound system to take the CD player as the main input then hit the start button on the remote to start the second CD I made. We had listened to almost half of it when Tyler came back into the living room.

"Well, Bear, if Toni gives her official stamp of approval then there will be a DVD release of the entire concert too. The record company would like you to help engineer the sound for the CD, the on-air video of the show, the MTV clips and the DVD release. In fact, they said you had a job with them any time you wanted it, just name your own price."

"But I already have a job, Tyler. One I'm quite happy with."

"Oh? And what job is that?" Toni was sitting on the edge of the sofa looking at me. The look of anticipation on her face was priceless.

"Well, unless Toni says otherwise, I thought I was working for her." How could someone so small move so fast and hug so hard?

"That's great, Bear. Ummm… Tyler, do you have something for Bear?"

"Yes I do, Toni. Bear, this is for you whether or not you decided to work for us." Tyler held out an envelope. I took it and looked inside. I saw a check from Toni's company for almost a million dollars.

"Toni, Tyler, I do thank you but I really don't need this. Just look around you. I never have to work another day for the rest of my life. My needs are small and my lifestyle rather simple by comparison to most other people. The money I have already will last me well beyond my remaining years."

"Toni and I know that, Bear. One thing you haven’t learned about me personally yet is that basically I'm a tightfisted little S.O.B. when it comes to Toni's personal finances. I do the best I can to take care of her money and make sure she's getting the most for the dollars her production company has to spend on these tours and her other efforts. What you've done this past week and what you'll be doing in the future is the best investment I can think of. That check covers the work you did on the concerts and a beginning share in the royalties for the CD and the DVD releases and the broadcast rights to the video. You're in them too and are entitled to a share in the profits the same as Toni, the band, the backup singers and dancers."

I looked over at Toni. She had snuggled down next to me on the couch. She looked up at me and simply shook her head yes. "Are you sure, Toni?"

"Look at the check." I took it out of the envelope. It had Toni's signature on it. "I don't sign things like that unless I mean it, Bear."

I kissed Toni gently on her forehead and gave her a hug then I shook Tyler's hand.

Toni was smiling from ear to ear then a puzzled expression flashed across her face. “Umm…Bear, did you really mean what you wrote on the newspaper?”

I winked back at her. “I don’t sign things like that unless I mean it, Toni.” I put the check on the coffee table then started the CD playing again.

About a week later Toni's mom, Katherine, visited. I found that she and I hit it off pretty well. The news about Toni's dad was good too. His parole was denied for at least two more years based on the early threats he had made while he was in prison to take his revenge on them. The threats he made as they led him away would not go in his favor at the next hearing either.

That first week we were together set the tone for the years I spent working for Toni. The days turned into weeks then into months as Toni and I traveled around the country doing concerts. She had even decided that she didn't want to spend her senior year in her old high school so she and her mom moved in with me. She attended a local high school just like any normal teenager and enjoyed every minute of it. She graduated with honors. Her mom and I attended her graduation.

She decided to wait on college realizing that the music business is extremely fickle. People like an artist’s music one day then find someone else they like better the next day. She decided to stay with it as long as she remained popular then go back to college when her record sales started to fade. Fortunately there seemed to be no end in sight to the sales of her recording and music videos.

With her father's impending release pushed back, Toni's nightmares subsided for the most part. She would still crawl in bed with me when we were on the road and she started to feel lonely at night. Sometimes the mysterious dreams returned and she woke up screaming but couldn’t remember what the nightmare was about. I eventually got used to the red hair in my face when I woke up. When we were on the road, I had almost come to expect it. I wound up as body guard, confidant and traveling companion all rolled up in one.

We even attended a Grammy Awards ceremony together. Toni won an award for best album. She insisted on dragging me up to the stage to accept it with her since I was responsible for mixing and producing it. She won several more awards for her work too. She had a special place for the awards on a shelf above the seldom-used fireplace in my living room. Since Toni felt more at home living in upstate New York, she decided to stay with me. Her mom decided to split her time between their old home in Chicago and my home since her mother still worked as a vice president of a small women’s clothing store chain.

The tabloids got hold of things and wouldn’t really let go. There were all kinds of rumors about Toni and I having intimate relations. We knew they weren’t true and that’s all that mattered to us. Toni did manage to go out on some dates with some of her rock star friends. The tabloids and fan magazines went off the deep end every time it happened. Toni has several scrap books full of the stuff and loves to take them out and laugh at some of the crazy things they’ve said. The traveling life of a rock star doesn’t lend itself to long term relationships. Whenever you’re in one place, your date winds up in another place hundreds or more likely thousands of miles away.

I could tell that Toni wanted to settle down in one place and stop her life on the road for a while but the pressures of new album releases and promotional tours continued unchecked. I saw the weariness in her eyes and forced Tyler to stop scheduling Toni’s appearances for several months. During that time Toni did very little work publicly although she was very busy writing songs and recording in the basement studio. She even practiced her piano skills. She learned to play at a very young age but never stayed with it. One of the recordings she made was a sweeping instrumental inspired by one particularly beautiful central New York sunset. It turned out to be a hit for her as well.

Two years after I accepted Toni’s offer of a job, we wound up back in Chicago again almost to the exact day that I had first mixed the sound for her concerts. The Chicago shows had been a success again and we were getting ready to leave on the bus for the next stop on the tour.

"Toni, COME ON! Andrea is waiting for us! We've got to fight our way through the crowd out there again. MOVE IT!"

"Coming, Bear. I just wanted to get out of that last costume. Sparkles and fringe isn’t very comfortable to travel in and they need to clean it anyway."

I looked at Toni standing in the doorway. The sometimes awkward seventeen year old had grown up into a beautiful nineteen year old woman. Her figure was quite stunning and was the envy of almost every teenager, male and female, that ever saw her. And it was all natural too. Her spirit had grown considerably too. She matured from an insecure girl into a woman sure of her future.

"Ready, Bear. Let's get going."

I fell in behind Toni as two security guards joined us. As we left the arena by a side exit, the crowd rushed toward us. As we walked into the crowd I heard a woman scream then 2 gunshots. I saw a spurt of red erupt on the side of Toni's neck. One of the two security people was down while the other was already tending to Toni as she lay unconscious on the ground. I looked up to see a man a few feet away in the crowd holding a gun. He was aiming to take another shot at Toni.

I rushed forward toward the man. He raised the gun directly at me and fired. I felt a hot burning sensation in my chest then I started to crumple toward the ground. My weight was enough with my forward speed to send me crashing into the man knocking him to the ground. I heard another shot as the pain erupting in my stomach caused my vision to go white and my other senses to go into overload.

Then the world faded to black.

To be continued in Before My Time - Chapter 3