The Reluctant Sister

by Melanie Brown
Copyright © 2004

Part 2

 

While waiting for Jeff to arrive, I walked back to my old room.  It'd been weeks since I'd set foot in it.  It was a little jarring when I hit the light switch and stepped inside.  On the walls were heavy-metal posters, posters of scantily clad women, Star Wars stuff on my shelves alongside tank and airplane models.  On my desk sat my computer.  I hadn't fired it up in over a month.  I wondered how much email had stacked up.  The room was normally a wreck, but apparently Mom had had a chance to come in and straighten things.

I walked up to the closet and slowly opened it.  Inside were all the boy clothes I hadn't worn in a couple of months.  I giggled softly to myself as I looked through the clothes and realized just how bad my taste in clothes was as a guy.  I opened the top drawer of my old dresser and saw all the neatly folded stacks of boy's underwear.  I picked one up and frowned.  Gak!  I had to admit to myself that I never wanted to return to this kind of underwear again!

Rummaging further, under some socks with holes in the toes, I found a couple of pictures.  They were of Ed and me, during that weird summer where I sneaked out of the house and dressed as Chrissy so Ed could take me out on "dates".  The pictures were taken at Harvey's, the big teen hangout in town.  What on Earth was I thinking, I thought to myself.  Hell, what was I thinking now?!  In a few minutes, I'll be going out on a real date with a real boy.  At the thought of Ed, I realized I hadn't heard from him since school started.  Just like a guy, I thought.  Never writes or calls.

I took a slow look around the room.  I couldn't believe that I actually used to live in this room, even if it was only a couple of months ago.  At first, I thought that if I was going to have to move back into it,  there were going to have to be some changes made.  On second thought, though, this should be the perfect imersion back into boydom that I'd planned to slide back into over the holidays.  If Diane was still here after New Years, I'd redecorate my room then.

Before I could finish contemplating what to do with my room, the doorbell rang.  Oh my God, Jeff's here!  I ran back into my new room and started re-checking everything in the mirror.  I was smoothing out my dress when Mom called through the door to let me know Jeff was waiting.  Why was I so nervous?  I'd been out with Jeff dozens of times.  I'd been out with two other boys as well.  This date was decidedly different.

As I entered the living room, Jeff stood.  He took me quite by surprise.  He was holding a dozen roses and he was dressed in a sweater and sport coat and he was actually wearing slacks instead of his trademark jeans.  His smile broaded as his eyes fell on me.  He just looked at me for a few seconds, then said, "Wow, Chrissy!  You are absolutely beautiful!"

I could feel myself blushing as I gushed, "Thank you!  I have to say, you're quite hansome tonight!"

"These are for you." Jeff said as he handed me the roses. 

"Thank you!  They're beautiful!"  I took them and inhaled their fragrance.  "I'd better put these in water before we go."

Mom stepped up and reached out for the flowers and said, "Here, let me take those and put them in water for you. "

Jeff gestured toward the door with one hand and reached for my hand with the other as he said, "I guess we're ready to go."  I took his hand and Jeff lead me out through the door.

*   *   *

 

Snowflakes danced in the headlights of Jeff's car as we drove across town to Gladstone's.  It was quite cold and I was starting to wish I'd worn a longer dress.  I looked over at Jeff, and he placed a hand on my left leg.  Two months ago, I would have pushed his hand away, but tonight I laid my hand on top of his.  A grab-bag of emotions swirled through my soul.  But tonight I wasn't going to think about what this might mean.  For tonight, I wanted nothing more than to be on this date.  To be with Jeff...to be his girl.

The snow was still lightly falling as Jeff wheeled his car into a parking spot at Gladtone's.  He got out of the car and hurried over to my side and opened my door.  Jeff extended his hand and helped me out of the car.  Taking my hand, he led me to the covered entryway.

Inside the doorway stood the maitre d, all decked out.  Fresh flowers lined the short hallway and the red carpet looked like it had never been walked on.  As we approached, the maitre d looked up.  "Ah, Mr. Kowalski and...guest." he said looking at me. "Will it be the usual table tonight, sir?"  The look I flashed Jeff asked, you mean you have a usual table?

"Actually, your best table tonight, Jameson!" said Jeff smartly as he handed the waiter a folded one hundred dollar bill.  I thought, holy cats!  Jeff is really going all out.  I was extremely impressed.  I became less impressed later when I learned that Jeff had worked at Gladstone's over the summer bussing tables and had become friends with the head waiter.  Jeff had been by earlier to set this up.  The C note actually belonged to the waiter and Jeff had borrowed it for the occassion.  Still, Jeff was pulling out all the stops and I was enjoying every second.

The maitre d led us to a table that was on a platform raised a few feet above floor level and had decorative walls and plants that made the table seem at least semi-private.  Fresh flowers and a candle adorned the table.  A large window gave us a panaramic view of the parking lot. 

The maitre d pulled my chair from the table and waited until I started to sit to nudge it under me.  Another waiter arrived with what looked like a champaign bottle.  I started to remind Jeff that we were both still in highschool when Jeff asked, "Would you care for some sparkling cider?"  I nodded and the waiter popped the bottle open and poured us each a glass.

The maitre d gave us each a menu, then left, promising a waiter would arrive shortly. I laid my hand on the table and Jeff reached out and took my hand in his.  He gave my hand a gentle squeeze as he looked past his menu at me and smiled.  This sure beat the crud out of Taco Bell!

I took my eyes away from Jeff long enough to examine the menu.  "Jeff, everything here is so expensive!  Maybe I should just get a salad."

Jeff shook his head as he said, "No, no.  Order whatever you want.  Don't even look at the prices."

At first, I started looking for something like chicken strips or just go with a chef salad.  Then it dawned on me that Jeff would probably be disappointed if I got something he could have bought cheaper at a Carl's Jr.  I looked around some more and finally decided on the filet mignon as it was the second most expensive thing on the menu.

The waiter took our orders and then Jeff again took my hands.  He just held them for a moment, then lifted them, kissed my fingers, then stared into my eyes.  He smiled, then said, "Chrissy, you really are beautiful." 

I could feel myself blushing and a tingle floated up my spine.  We just stared at each other for a few moments.  I could just dive right into those very blue eyes of his.

"Jeff, this is really wonderful!", I gushed.  Pointing at the candles and flowers on the table, I continued, "It's all very romantic."

Jeff tried to strike a devil-may-care pose as he said, "The food is really quite good and the service is excellent."

About that moment, a waiter coming from another table passed by, looked over at us and he started to wave and said, "Hey, Ski!"  Jeff frowns at him and nods towards me.  The waiter then straightens himself and says, "Good evening sir!  I hope everything will be to your satisfaction."

"Do you know him?" I ask.

Jeff coughed and said, "I'm sure he's seen my picture in the newspaper."

*   *   *

 

The meal was wonderful, Jeff was charming, and I was on Cloud Nine.  I could do this everyday, I thought.  We left Gladstone's hand-in-hand and then Jeff opened the car door for me and helped me sit.

I nestled back into the car seat and closed my eyes dreamily for a moment.  I looked over at Jeff as he drove his car out of the parking lot.  I felt that I must be the luckiest girl in the world.  I lightly touched the side of his face, and he took my hand and gently kissed my fingers.

After a few minutes of looking out the car window, but not really seeing anything, it started to dawn on me that we weren't heading for Harvey's.  I thought for sure that's where Jeff was going to go to so we could get in some dancing.

"Jeff, aren't we going to Harvey's?" I asked.  "We seem to be going in the opposite direction."

Jeff smiled and said, "Oh, I've made other plans for us."

We drove on for several more minutes before Jeff pulled the car into the parking lot of the local playhouse.  Mom had dragged me there once when I was a kid to see Peter and the Wolf.  Tonight there was a traveling ballet company performing "Swan Lake".  These were pros, not the usual no-talent locals who normally put on the plays.

"Here we are." said Jeff as he killed the engine. 

I turned to Jeff and said, "Wow.  I can't believe you're actually taking me to a ballet!"  Two months ago, wild horses couldn't have dragged me to a ballet.  But tonight, I was actually excited.

Throughout the whole ballet, Jeff held my hand.  My whole insides were bubbling over in gooey romance.  I didn't want the evening to end.  However, the ballet did finally end, and as we were starting to get up to leave, I glanced down at my watch.  Worriedly, I said to Jeff, "Oh no!  It's almost eleven!  I was supposed to be home by ten!"

Jeff seemed unperturbed.  He said, "Relax!  I cleared it with your mom this afternoon.  You're fine."

That was welcome news.  I didn't want to tick Dad off.  At least no more than usual.

As we left the playhouse, the snow was really coming down thick.  I could hear an ambulance siren off in the distance.  That's all I would need would be for Jeff to lose control of the car on icey roads where I'd probably wind up in the Emergency Room trying to explain why I was dressed the way I was.

Jeff did slide out into an intersection once.  Luckily, the streets were largely empty by then, so fortunately for us, we were the only ones at that intersection.  We arrived at the house and Jeff helped me out of his car.  We trudged through the deepening snow to my front door.  The streetlights bouncing off the snow and the clouds made it look almost like daylight.

As we stood on the porch, snow swirling around us, the only sound we could hear was the rustling of snow hitting the ground.  Jeff put his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him.  I put my arms around his neck and stared into his eyes.  Finally, he asked softly, "Did you have a good time tonight?"

Smiling, I replied, "I had a wonderful time tonight!  Thank you so much for the ballet!"

Jeff brushed some loose strands of hair from my face and said, "You're very welcome." He then ran a warm hand down my cheek.  He bent his head down and softly kissed me. He looked back at me.  I froze.  He's not going to say it, is he?  Oh God, please don't say it. He then quietly said, "I love you, Chrissy."

What did he just say?!?  Surely he can't mean it.  That was just crazy talk.   I know he'd said "girl I'm in love with" several times, but he'd never said those three little words directly at me before.  I really was stunned.  I didn't reply until a few seconds later as I felt myself starting to smile.  My emotions were all over the place.  A voice in the back of my head was jumping up and down, screaming Don't say it!  Don't say it!  Mouth the words 'alligator food'...he'll never know the difference.  Finally, I breathlessly said, "Oh, I love you too, Jeff!  I love you so much!"

Jeff pulled me closer and kissed me, a long deep passionate kiss.  All the pent up emotions from both of us exploded as we kissed each other as if we'd been waiting for a hundred years for this kiss.  Breathless, we placed our heads on each others shoulders for a moment as we held each other tight. 

I felt tears streaking down my cheeks as I held my eyes closed, never wanting this embrace to end.  A boy had just told me he loved me.  Finally I had become completely a girl to him.  I had just told a boy I loved him, and I meant every word.  So help me, I really loved him.

He lifted my chin up, his eyes penetrating deep into my soul, then bent down and kissed me with the kind of long, slow, deep kiss that will curl your toes.  I could have stayed all  night on the porch with that kiss.

Jeff finally pulled away and for a moment just looked at me.  "Baby, I don't want to, but I probably should be going." he said. 

It was only then that I started noticing the cold.  "Yeah, we probably should call it a night."  I felt tears welling up again as I continued, "Thank you for the wonderful evening.  It was really great!"  Especially the last five minutes.

Jeff gave me a little brief kiss, held my hand and said, "Good night, Chrissy.  I love you." and then he turned to walk towards his car.  The snow was now coming down hard and there was already a blanket of snow on Jeff's car.

I held myself tightly.  I was so wound up I was about to explode.  I said, "Good night, Jeff.  I love you too!"  He waved as he climbed into his car.  I watched his car fade into the falling snow.

*   *   *

 

As I shut the front door behind me, I saw Mom sitting on the couch, reading a book.  She looked up at me and said, "Oh, hi dear.  How was your evening?"  I had a sneaking suspicion that Mom had been standing by the door, watching us through the tall, narrow windows framing the door. 

I sat down next to Mom and said as I smoothed my dress, "It was so cool, Mom!  Dinner was just perfect and he took me to the ballet!"

"Sounds like a wonderful time." Mom said.  It seemed to me that something was bothering her.

"Oh, it was!" I beamed.  I paused a moment, then frowned before asking, "Is there something wrong?"

Mom put her book down and stared at nothing for a moment before replying.  "Well, Honey, it's...well...I have to admit, I was listening through the door.  We used to do it all the time with Diane as well."

"You spied on us?!" I asked, my mood starting to break.

"I woudn't exactly use the word 'spied'..." Mom's voice trailed off.

"What did you hear and why does it bother you?" I asked, folding my arms.

"I heard enough.  It bothers me that you told a boy you love him.  Is that really fair to say that to him?" Mom asked.

"What do you mean, is that fair?  I do love him, and he loves me."

"The word 'love' doesn't always mean the same thing to boys as it does to...uh...us."  Mom said.  "And where will your love lead you?  I don't want to see you hurt.  And, considering the circumstances, I don't want to see Jeff hurt either."

"I don't know." I said weakly.  "Nobody plans these things.  They just happen!"

Mom shook her head and said, "Oh, God!  This is just too hard!  If you were Diane and had just told a boy of your love for him, I would know how to handle this.  If you as Christopher had just told a girl you loved her, both your father and I would know.  But this, I just don't know what to do."  Mom finished by throwing her hands into the air.

I looked down at my hands, once again my good mood and total feminine spirit had been destroyed in a twinkling.  Fighting back tears, I said softly, "Can't you just be happy for me?"

Mom just looked at me and blinked for several moments.  She moved closer to me and put her arm around my shoulder and gave me a hug.  She said, "Of course I can, dear.  I want you to be happy."  She looked thoughtful for a moment, then continued, "You know, at first I really hated when you joined the cheerleaders and started going to school as a girl.  I really thought it was going to be a disaster."

I frowned and said, "Gee thanks, Mom."

"Sorry, but it seemed like a crazy idea at the time.  I have to say though, that for me, I've enjoyed having a daughter again, with long, beautiful hair that I can brush and braid, someone to girltalk with, to go shopping together, to polish each other's toenails with..."  Mom smiled a small smile.  "Since Diane has been gone to college, I've forgotten what simple pleasures there are to having a daughter around.  She's gotten too grown up for some of these things, anyway.   Then Chrissy came along."

I smiled, hugged Mom and rested my head on her shoulder.  I had been spending more time with Mom lately.  Shopping, helping in the kitchen, crying over soap operas.

I was suddenly bothered by Mom stiffening slightly as she continued, "But this new development...I...I just have a hard time with it.  I'm glad you have found love, and Jeff seems like a really nice boy.  Even your father likes him and he never liked any of Diane's boyfriends.  If you were a girl, I'd be giving you the usual warning about boys.  But with you, I'm concerned on several levels."

"Mom, what do you think Jeff and I are going to do?"  I asked, shocked that Mom might be thinking what I thought she was thinking.

"That's exactly it...what are you and Jeff going to do?"  Mom asked, but I could tell she wasn't expecting an answer.  "I'm worried that you might get so caught up in being Jeff's girlfriend, that you'll want something Jeff isn't likely to give you.  Or Jeff may decide he'd prefer a girl that was born that way." 

Just what I thought.  She was thinking what I thought she was thinking.  In my heightened emotional state, her words cut rather deeply and I could feel tears welling up again.  With a cry in my voice, I said, "Mom, how can you say things like that?  Jeff and I love each other!  How could he want anyone else?"

Mom smiled and brushed away a tear from my cheek.  She said quietly, "Baby-doll, I just don't want to see you get hurt.  I want you to be carefull and don't get too carried away."

I held onto Mom and started to cry softly on her shoulder.  I'm not completely sure why.  Once again, my happy feelings were dashed into the ground.

*   *   *

 

As I laid in bed that night, I replayed Jeff's kiss over and over in my head.  I relived the wonderful date Jeff and I had that evening.  I just laid there, watching the cold, blue shaft of moonlight splash across the room and daydreamed about how life would be with just us two.

*   *   *

 

End of Part 2

 

since 01/31/04