The Reluctant Sister

by Melanie Brown
Copyright © 2004

Part 4

 

"So, have you and Jeff had sex yet?" asked Gwen as she shoved some boxes under the snack bar counter.

Looking down at her in shocked disbelief and in a whispered 'yell' said, "What did you just say?!"

Brushing her hands together as she stood, Gwen said, "I asked you if you and your man have had sex."

Folding my arms and trying to look miffed, I said, "I can't believe you just asked me such a thing!"

Leaning on the counter, drumming the fingers of one hand Gwen frowned, "Well...?"

"Well what?"

Giving me a 'get on with it' gesture, Gwen said, "Well, do you plan on answering?"

I pulled an employee handbook out from a drawer and started thumbing through it.  Without looking up from the book, I said, "Doesn't this constitute sexual harassment?"

Turning away, Gwen said, "I'll take that as a 'no'."

I looked at the book for a few more seconds before returning it to the drawer.  I looked over at Gwen and said, "You're right.  It's a no.  Do you always make a habit of delving into the sex lives of your employees?"

Gwen turned sharply and snapped, "Only for the monsters I create!"  Softening, she added, "Honestly, Chrissy, I'm concerned about you.  I'm concerned about the direction your life is going because of me.  You didn't see me, but I saw when Jeff was here just 10 minutes ago.  The way you two were kissing, I thought I was going to see you start ripping each other's clothes off!"

I smiled sheepishly as I remembered Jeff stopping by on his way home from the shoe store.  "So I love kissing my boyfriend.  Is that a crime?"

Gwen laughed and said, "In some states it could be."  She paused for a moment, then said, "So, if you two really love each other as much as it appears you do, and if you both see yourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend,  well, then, what's stopping you?"

I studied my hands for a few moments before quietly saying, "At least two reasons.  Maybe more",  I paused a second, then I started to say "I... well..."  I looked at my feet for a few moments before continuing.  "One reason, if you must know, I don't know if I really want to have sex with Jeff – or with any boy."  I stopped, and thought a moment, then  said, "Maybe I mean that I want Jeff as a girl would.  Not as a guy.  Which kinda leads us to the second reason."

Gwen held up a hand.  "Chrissy, I was mostly just teasing you.  I wasn't trying to upset you!"

I shook my head.  "No.  No, it's okay.  You asked, I'll tell you.  The second reason is that Jeff told me that he never, ever wants to see me naked.  He was very serious.  He said he was totally in love with a girl named Chrissy, but he feels that if he sees my privates, it'll completely shatter his illusion."

The sudden image of a moon-lit night on the grassy shores of Springer Lake from several years ago popped into my head.  With a shudder, I pushed the thought from my mind.

"I'm sorry.  I wasn't trying to start anything."  Gwen then laughed under her breath and said, "Hell, I created you, and now I can only think of you as a girl."

Wanting to change the subject I quickly added, "Well, this time tomorrow I won't be a girl!  Right after school, I go into boy mode for our trip to see Diane's graduation.  Don't forget I'm not scheduled for Friday through Sunday."

Looking slightly relieved, Gwen said, "Oh, that's right.  Give Diane my love and kick her in the butt for me, just for general principals."  She then looked over her shoulder and turned back to me and said, "Oh, better pop another load of popcorn.  The last features start in about thirty minutes.  Did you invite any friends to the preview?"

I shook my head.  Every Thursday night when a new release was to start on Friday, the film was previewed after midnight to make sure we had spliced all the reels together correctly and to make sure there was nothing wrong with the film.  We could invite a couple of friends to see the preview for free.  The problem was, it was always on a school night and usually meant people didn't make it home until after three thirty in the A.M.

"Okay, then when the preview starts, you're free to go.  Make sure cleaning crew is inside before you lock the doors.  Travis will be in charge, but he'll be busy with the projector.  Have a good trip!"  With that, Gwen straightened up a few items on the counter, locked her office and left for the night.

It had been a very slow night and about fifteen minutes after the last feature kicked off, I had to make another run through the women's restroom.  Hopefully, since it had been a quiet night, there wouldn't be much to do.

*   *   *

 

With towels and spray bottle in hand, I entered the inner sanctum of the female world,  aka the ladies room.

I was surprised to see a girl in an ankle-length dress, standing in front of the mirror, fiddling around with her hair. I didn't think anyone was inside when I first opened the door.  I could see her eyes following me as I went from stall to stall.  It started to creep me out as I could see she was nervous about something and she watched me like a hawk.

There was something familiar about her, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.  As I wiped the counter top, I smiled pleasantly at her and hoped she wasn't about to knife me or something.  She smiled back slightly.  I was pretty sure I'd seen her someplace.  Since she looked like a teen, I'd probably seen her at school.

I turned to her and said, "Hi.  I was just curious, do you go to JWB High?"

She turned and nodded, and started to look pretty nervous.  She was obviously not comfortable talking to me, so I decided against trying to strike up a conversation with her.  I looked at her square in the face for a moment just before I turned to leave the restroom.  Something didn't seem right about her.  Her hair wasn't on quite straight and she didn't do a very good job with her make-up.  I took two steps toward the door before it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Suddenly I turned back towards her. I could see my surprised expression in the mirror's reflection.  She took a step back from me as I blurted, "You're a guy!"

Looking horrorfied, she said in a oddly pitched voice, "What are you talking about?  I'm a girl!  Really."

"I know you!" I said accusingly.  "You're that Danny...Danny what's-his-face in my Algebra class."

Danny just stood there, shaking his head, looking really scared.  He took a step towards me, tears whelling up in his eyes as he pleaded, "You're not going to tell anyone are you?  Please don't tell...please!"

Now feeling ashamed at blowing his cover, I hastily said, "Hey, it's okay!  I won't tell anybody.  I promise!"

He seemed to relax somewhat.  He rubbed his eye, smearing his mascara.  "I...I guess I can trust you, Chrissy.  Everyone is always saying how nice you are."

I smiled reassuringly at him and said, "I'm sorry that I reacted that way.  It just shocked me when I realized who you really were."  There was an awkward pause, then I added, "I just gotta ask though.  Why are you dressed like a girl?"

Danny looked down at his dress and laughed nervously.  "You know, I'm not really sure myself.  Ever since I can remember, I've had this overwhelming desire to dress like a girl.  I know you think it's weird, but I really love wearing girls' clothes."

"Well, I guess I just have trouble understanding how a guy could possibly want to dress up like a girl.", I lied.

"I've tried to stop several times." admitted Danny.  "More than once I've thrown out all my pretty girl things, swearing Never Again!"  He let out a quick, breathy laugh and said, "But it just doesn't stick.  I always find myself drawn to dressing again."

Curious, since his choice of clothes was his own, and not for the benefit of others like my situation, I pressed, "Yeah, but why?  You're a guy!"

He frowned as he said, "Not all of us are masculine stud-muffins.  Sometimes you just feel like you have to be feminine.  I don't want to become a girl.  I certainly don't want to date guys.  And I like being a guy.  I just like being girly sometimes too."  He paused for a moment and shook his head.  "You know, it just isn't fair!"

"What's not fair?", I asked.  "That you were born a boy?"

"That I just can't dress any old way I want to!"  he said with obvious frustration.  Pointing at me he said, "Let's take you for example.  I don't know what prompted you to start dressing more feminine, but nobody ever bothered you during your tomboy phase."

I frowned and said, "Nobody noticed me, either."

Danny sat on the counter's edge and said, "That may be, but they didn't try to beat you up, call you names, or make fun of you.  If you come to school wearing a boy's shirt, it's just fashion.  Can you imagine what would happen if I came to school in skirt?  Or even just a blouse?"

I breathed a short laugh, "Yeah, that would probably cause quite a stir."  The only stir I caused when I came to school in girl's clothes was for people who lost bets on what sex I was.

Danny continued, "Just think of all the things you can wear, that I can't just because of some arbitrary decision of society.  You can wear make-up, or not.  You can wear your hair in a feminine or a boyish style.  You can wear a dress or pants.  You can wear pretty earrings or not.  Nobody cares what you wear, but unless I want to have a living hell, I can only wear a very narrow range of clothes.  If I wear a dress and play with dolls, I'm a fag, a sissy.  If you wear pants and play sports, you're just a tomboy.  It's okay for you to act like a guy."

I paused a moment then said, "I'm sorry Danny.  I had no idea.  Life is hard enough without having that extra burden."

Danny's face reddened as he said, "I'm sorry too.  I didn't mean to bitch so much."  He paused, then briefly touched my hand and continued, "I've been waiting for so long to tell someone.  You've been very nice to listen to me."

I smiled at him and said, "Hey, I'm a good listener."  A sudden though occurred to me as I asked, " Do you have a girl name?"

He answered, "I keep it the same, only I'd spell it D-A-N-I."

I glanced at my watch and said, "Well, Dani, I have to lock up.  Some folks should be arriving soon for the preview, so you might not want to hang around.  Listen, you're secret is safe with me."

"Thank you, Chrissy." Dani said.  "I appreciate it.  Maybe you can give me some beauty tips some time?"

"Sure!  See ya."  I left the restroom feeling very strange.

*   *   *

 

"Hey girlfriend!", called a friendly voice from behind.  I turned, and saw Mandy smiling as she hurried up the school hallway to catch up to me.

"Hi Mandy!  Hey are you sure it's okay if I miss the basketball game Saturday?"  I said to her after she stepped up beside me.

"Don't even like, think about it!" she said.  "You don't want to miss your sister's graduation.  This is the first event you've missed since you joined the squad."

As we walked, I saw Danny pass by going the other way.  He saw me, looked embarrassed and quickly turned away and passed by with saying anything. 

We stopped at the intersection since we were about to go in opposite directions.  Mandy pulled me to one side and asked in a low voice, "Does your sister even know about...well...you?"

Shaking my head I said, "Actually no.  Mom and Dad never wanted to mention it.  I almost never write to her, and I wasn't going to mention it."  As far as I know, Gwen never told her either.

"Wow.  She's in for quite a shock.  She won't spill the beans, will she?"  asked Mandy with a worried tone.

"I don't think so.  She can be a mean little biatch, but she's not stupid."  I hope.

Mandy looked at her watch then said, "I gotta jet.  But what I wanted to ask you...I've got like, a bunch of magazines I've already read that I thought you might get something out of.  They're old 'Teen, Seventeen, YM, Elle Girl and others.  I was like, going to bring them by this afternoon after school if that's okay with you."

"Sure, bring them by."  I made a quick sweep around me to make sure no one was in ear-shot before I added, "By the way, I'm going into boy-mode as soon as I get home.  So don't be too grossed out if you see me without my make-up on!"

"I think I can handle it!", Mandy laughed.

*   *   *

 

It's funny what you get used to.  I looked at myself in the mirror, wearing exactly what I used to wear before my life got turned upside down.  It felt really weird to wear boy clothes, all the way down to boy underwear.  I was just wearing jeans, and my highschool sweatshirt.  I pulled my hair back into a ponytail.  Still, I looked very girlish.

The phone rang.  There's an extension in my room.  Looking at the phone I saw it was Jeff calling.  Snapping up the receiver I said, "Hey Jeff!  How are you?"

Through the phone, Jeff said, "Doing great, babe!  I just wanted to tell you to have a good trip.  That's a long drive up there."

"Thanks Jeff!  I was hoping you'd drop by tonight so I could see you before we left tomorrow at oh-dark-thirty."  I said as I sat down on the bed.

Jeff hesitated before answering.  Finally he said, "Well.. since you told me that you were changing...um...er...'modes' right after school, I really didn't think I'd care to see you as a boy."

Feeling a bit annoyed, I blurted out, "You know Jeff, no matter what I'm wearing, you're kissing the same person, you know."

Sounding annoyed himself, Jeff cut in, "Chrissy, really, I don't want to even think about that angle, okay?"

"You're right.", I said as I started to hang up the phone.  "Now that I'm being a boy, the last thing in the world I want to do is get close to a guy...much less kiss him!  Later dude."  I hung up the phone. 

As I sat on the bed, pouting, Mom stuck her head in the door and called out, "Chrissy!  Honey, would you mind being on your own for dinner tonight?  Your father and I have some running around to do to get ready for the trip in the morning."

With more whine in my voice than I wanted, I said, "Mommm!  Don't call me 'Chrissy'.  Just call me 'Chris' or 'Christopher'.  This weekend I'm all man!"  I pounded one fist on my chest.

Mom rolled her eyes as she said, "Oh all right, mister!  It's getting hard to keep up."  She left the doorway and started going back to the living room.

I suddenly remembered something and sprang to the doorway and called, "Oh Mom!  If you're at the store while you're out, could you get me some mascara?  I'm almost out."

*   *   *

 

As Mom and Dad were getting into their car, Mandy pulled up to the curb in her Neon.  She got out with an armful of magazines.  I was standing in the open door of our house waving to my parents.  Mandy waved a greeting to me with an free hand and yelled out, "Hey Chrissy...er...Chris.  I brought those magazines over."

Waving back, I said, "Thanks!  Come on in!"

Mandy set the magazines down on the coffee table with a loud plunk.  She flopped herself down on the couch and sighed.  "I'm beginning to think that maybe I do have a problem with you being gone this weekend.  Practice was more of a workout this afternoon with just the four of us!"  She looked over at me with a somewhat puzzled look on her face.  "You know, Chris, I hate to tell you this, but you like, still look an awful lot like a girl."

"I know.", I said as I dropped down the couch next to her.  "My hair is way too long and I'm having trouble remembering how to walk like a guy."  I held up my hands, palms outward and continued, "My nails are too long for a guy, but I really really don't want to cut them back.  I'll just have to rely on my other masculine features to help me pass as a guy."

Mandy patted my knee as she said, "I hate to break this to you, Chrissy, but you were like,  never exactly a tower of masculinity."

"Gee like, thanks..."

"Hey, no problem!"  Mandy glanced down at her watch.  "Want to go get something to eat?  I'm free tonight.  My parents are at a club meeting tonight."

"No date?" I asked a little surprised.

Mandy sighed as she answered, "Nope.  Not tonight."  She looked down at the floor as she continued, "That just seems to be going nowhere."  Her voice trailed off.

"I'm sorry.  He seemed pretty nice."  There was an awkward pause, then a sudden thought struck me.  "Hey, since I'm a guy this weekend, let me take you out!  We can do Taco Bell or something and a movie."

Mandy looked at me funny and said, "Well...I don't know about that.  Something just doesn't sound right about it."

"We can eat someplace else if you want.  I'll buy, just like a real date." I said as I stood up and gestured for Mandy to follow me.

Mandy just stared up at me in disbelief and said, "Chrissy, you like, have a boyfriend and everything!  Don't you think Jeff might mind you going on a date with someone else?"

Frowning as I sat back down, I said, "Did you know that Jeff refused to come over to say good-bye to me in person because I already had gone back to dressing as a guy?  Jeff's interest is in 'Chrissy'.  He shouldn't have anything to say about what 'Chris' does!"

Mandy glared, "You're like, the same person!"

"Technicality."

We both sat there and stared at each other in silence for a few moments.  Mandy leaned forward and slowly said, "Hmmm...I guess it's not like we're trying to go steady or anything..."

"I always wanted to date a cheerleader.", I said, smiling.

Mandy laughed. 

*   *   *

 

I was driving Mandy's Neon.  Mandy didn't think my Mom's worn-out Escort would make the 30 minute drive to Sanderson.  We decided to go to another town for our 'date' to minimize being recognized.

We walked into the Carl's Jr. and  stepped up to the cash register.  The teenager behind the counter smiled and said, "What can I do for you two ladies tonight?"

I frowned and said in an irritated voice, "I'm not a lady!"

The guy behind the counter dropped his smile and looked annoyed and said, "Okay, what can I do for you two women tonight"

"I'm a guy!", I said, my face turning red.

"I'm sorry, ma'am.  I mean sir.  What can I do for the two of you?" 

I was still fuming when we sat down with out food.  As I was taking my first bite I said, "What was with that guy?  Geesh!"

Mandy looked up and said, "Oh chill.  Chris, like I said, you're still very pretty, whether you like it or not."

After that, Mandy fell silent and seemed lost in thought.  After several minutes had passed, I finally asked, "Mandy, is there a problem?"

She breathed a short laugh and said without looking up, "Kinda...in a way.  I...well, it just feels a little strange going out with the girlfriend of a guy I've got a crush on."  Mandy made another short laugh and continued, "I mean, like, what does that make me?  The other woman?  The other...what?"

I didn't want to get into this, so I laughed and said, "Hey, don't worry about it.  We're just out to have a good time.  And besides, how often do you get a date with someone cuter than you?"  I ducked as she tossed a handful of  fries at me.

After we finished eating, I watched as Mandy open her purse, remove her compact and a lipstick and begin freshening her make-up.  The lipstick was a new product and it looked great on her.  I said, "Hey, I really love that lipstick.  Can I try it?"

She started to hand the lipstick to me when she suddenly stopped and dropped it back into her purse.  "I'm not going to a movie with a guy wearing lipstick!", she announced.

 

*   *   *

 

Mandy handed me her popcorn and drink and said, "Chris, here, take these please.  I gotta run to the little girls' room – fast."

"Okay", I said.  "I'll just sit on that bench next to the restroom and wait for you." 

While I was waiting, trying to balance everything on my lap, some local highschool boys stepped away from the concession stand.  I saw them looking in my direction and saw the big one say something to the others.  They then started walking over towards me with goofy grins on their faces.  They just stood there, looking like complete idiots and stared at me.

I looked up and asked, "Cannnn I help you?..."

The big one laughed and while still grinning said, "Yeah.  We was just wonderin' why you're trying to look like a guy.  It's pretty obvious that you both are chicks.  You two lesbians?"  He laughed again.

One of the other boys, with his ball cap backwards over greasy hair chimed in with, "Tha'ts funny, Spike.  Yeah, you got some lesbian shit going on?"  They all stepped a little closer.

These guys were scaring the hell out of me.  Mustering some confidence, I said calmly, "Well, while it isn't any of you guys' business, no, we're not lesbians.  I'm a guy."

They all laughed.  The one called Spike said, "Well, if you're a guy, you're the prettiest guy I've ever seen!  I think you just need to be with a real man!" 

I wanted to ask him if he knew where I could find one, but instead I said, "Sorry guys, but I'm not a girl.  Honest."

Spike sniffed the air and said, "You sure smell pretty for a guy."

Crap!  I suddenly remembered that I didn't even shower.  I had just washed my face and changed my clothes.  The perfume I'd worn that day must still be lingering.  I just shrugged, sniffed my arm and said, "Hmmm.  It must have rubbed off my girlfriend."

I looked briefly out the windows of the theater that open to the main hallway of the Sanderson Mall.  A mall rent-a-cop, still wearing his regular patrolman uniform, looked in to see these thugs starting to gather around me.  I must have had a worried look on my face as he appeared to study the scene a moment, then start to head for the theater entrance.

Spike saw the mall security guy start to head our way, so he said to his little gang, "Come on, I think the movie is about to start."  They started walking away, when the Spike turned back to me and said, "Hey, sweety.  If you decide to stop pretending to be a guy and want to see what it's like to do the nasty with a real stud, just let me know."  He grinned a toothy grin and followed his buddies into the darkened theater hallway.

The mall cop arrived a few moments later and walked up to me.  "Are you okay, Miss?  Were they bothering you?"

I frowned at the mall cop and exhasperated, I said, "I'm not a Miss...I'm a guy."  The mall cop looked at me funny so I said, "Honest.  I'm really not a girl.  And yes, those jerks were bothering me!"  I looked in the direction they had gone and saw Spike just entering an auditorium.  Thank God it wasn't the movie Mandy and I were going to go see.

"Well, Mis...uh...sir, if I were you, I might reconsider going to a movie.", suggested the mall cop.

Again I frowned at him.  "Then they win!  I'd be letting some creeps dictate my life.", I exclaimed.  Then more softly, "We'll be okay.  I really do appreciate your assitance."

The mall cop nodded and said, "Hmmm...yeah, they probably won't bother you again in the theater, but walking to your car, be sure to carry your car keys. Just rake they keys across their eyes if they get that close."  He idly tapped the butt of the 10mm Glock at his hip.

About then, Mandy finally emerges from the sanctity of the restroom.  She sees the cop and see me sweating and asks, "What's going on?"  As the cop wanders back out into the mall, I quickly fill Mandy in on the events.  "Geesh, girl.  I can't leave you alone for a second!"

"For the last time, I'm not a girl!", I scolded.

*   *   *

 

The incident earlier all but forgotten, Mandy and I were enjoying a light, romantic comedy – the kind of movie I'd never used to go see.  For the hell of it, about half way through the movie, I yawned and stretched and brought my arm down around Mandy's shoulders.  To my surprise, she didn't laugh or even try to pull away.  Instead, she actually put her head on my shoulder and snuggled in.  The movie was perfect to bring a date to.  It was the kind almost guaranteed to make your date all warm and gooey inside.  I was having trouble resisting its effect myself.

When the guy and the girl in the movie finally kissed each other after being forced to somehow miss each other through most of the film, I heard Mandy sigh and I looked down at her and I could tell the movie had worked its magic.  She looked up at me and there was no mistaking the message in her eyes.  I bent down, hesitated because I really didn't intend to get romantic at all with Mandy, then softly kissed her.

The kiss lasted for more than a few moments and I have to say, that it caused the biggest kick I've ever gotten from kissing a girl.  She was the first cheerleader I'd ever kissed and for some reason there's just something magical about cheerleaders.  Add that I was also kissing the second prettiest girl at school (Jeff gets to kiss the prettiest...some day this is going to cause me to have 'issues'.)  And while the kiss was exciting and I most certainly wanted the kiss to last longer, there was just something odd about it. 

Suddenly, like the flip of a switch, Mandy stopped kissing.  Our lips were still touching, but the kiss just went cold.  She looked uncomfortable as she slowly pulled away from me and disengaged my arm.  She sat up straight and looked only at the movie screen.  My mind raced as I tried to figure out what could I have possibly done wrong.

As the credits started to roll, I turned to her and started to say, "Mandy, I..."

Mandy held up her hand and whispered, "Chris, it's not you."  She looked thoughtful for a moment, then continued, "Well, maybe it is you."  She looked at me as if she'd just experienced a sudden epiphany.  "Chris, you know, you're really a very nice boy.  Honest to God, I wish now I hadn't been like,  such a snob and noticed you before you became a cheerleader.  But I'm sorry Chris, I...I well, I felt like I was kissing my sister, even though I don't have one.  Chris, I...I'm sorry, but I can only think of you as a girl, no matter how you're dressed."

*   *   *

 

We walked slowly back to the lobby.  Mandy held my hand, but she just watched her feet as we walked. 

Letting go of my hand, Mandy smiled and said, "Sorry, but I gotta go pee."

"Yeah me too."  I started to follow her into the women's restroom when I caught myself.  I changed direction and started heading for the men's room. 

Behind me, I heard a familiar and unwanted voice say, "Heh...look guys, that girl trying to be a guy almost went into the women's bathroom."  Just before the restroom door closed, I heard laughing and then, "Come on guys, this I gotta see."  It was those same jerks who bothered me earlier.  I hurried inside.

I hadn't been in a men's room in months.  I looked at the empty row of urinals lining one wall.  Do I even remember how to go while standing up?  I guess that's not something you're likely to forget.  I walked hastily to a urinal in the middle of the row and unzipped my pants.

The restroom door burst open and the creeps piled into the room.  I turned slightly, Mr. Happy firmly in my hand and doing my business and I called out to Spike, "Hey guy!  Why don't you give me your phone number so I can call you later and set up a date!"  I smiled as sweetly as I could.

Spike went scarlet, from rage or embarressment, I don't know.  All his buddies stood there for a moment, slack-jawed staring at me answering nature's call.  Then they all turned to Spike and started laughing their asses off.

"Yeah, Spike, when are you two going on your date?" laughed one of the little creeps.  "She's definitely your type!"

Another one cried, "Looks like Spike gets to go to the prom after all!"

"Can we come to the wedding?"  All the little toadies seemed to be taking quite a bit of delight at their leader's mistake. 

I have to admit, I was scared out of my mind as I finished my business and turned to leave.  The band of boneheads still stood between me and the door.  Smiling and trying to show confidence I didn't feel, I started walking towards them.

Spike was pretty pissed at being humiliated in front of his little gang, even though it was entirely his own fault.  Still, he raised his fist and screamed, "You fuckin' little shit!  You're dead!"  He started to push his way past his minions.

I looked at Spike's motely crew who were still laughing, and said as I walked past them turning to keep facing them with my back towards the door, "Hey bud, how many times did I tell you I was a guy?" 

Spike was rapidly losing face in front of his punks and he grew more angry. He replied, "Come here, asshole!  I'm gonna break your face!"  He started to reach through his toadies, trying to grab me.

But one of Spike's little gang, a punk not as tall as Spike, but more wirey spoke up with, "That's right, Spike.  He told you he was a guy and you kept hitting on him.  You aren't a fag, are you Spikey?"  A couple of other guys chimed in with cat calls and insults of their own.  The other two guys started defending Spike. 

Spike was wounded in the eyes of the gang and his leadership was suddenly up for grabs.  They had forgotten about me and I quickly took advantage of their distraction to exit the men's room.  After the door closed, I heard the dull thwack of fist against flesh and a sudden bump against the wall.  Mandy was standing in the empty lobby waiting for me.

Glancing over my shoulder, I said hurriedly, "There's a fight breaking out in the men's room.  Let's get the hell out of here before it turns into a hockey game."

Looking puzzled, Mandy asked, "Are you sure?  Shouldn't we tell someone?"

I took her hand and pulled her quickly through the exit doors and said, "No!  Then we'd get stuck answering a bunch of questions and stuff.  Besides, I don't want to spoil Spike's fun."

Mandy furrowed her brow and asked, "Who's Spike?"

*   *   *

 

Other than some small talk about the movie we saw, Mandy was mostly quiet on the way back to town, mostly just staring out the car window into the blackness beyond.  I pulled the Neon up the curb in front of my house.  We both got out of the car, since Mandy would be moving to the driver's seat.  We faced each other on the sidewalk.

"I had a good time, tonight", I said, discounting my encounter with Spike.  "Maybe we can do this again, sometime."  I edged a little closer into Mandy's personal space.

Taking a half step backward, Mandy said, "Yeah...I had like, a good time hanging out with you."

I didn't voice it, but I thought, is that all it was to you?  Just hanging out?  I said, "Well, I need to get up real early tomorrow, so I guess I need to let you get home."  I moved a little closer and started leaning in.

Suddenly, Mandy took my hand in the lame grip that you usually get from girls and she  shook it saying, "Thanks for the night out!  Have a safe trip, okay?"

Seeing the disappointment in my eyes, Mandy clasped her other hand over my hand that she was holding and said, "I'm sorry.  I really did enjoy being with you tonight, but Chrissy, you're forever going to be a girl to me."  She gave me a hug, then quickly got into her car.

I stood there for several minutes alone on the sidewalk in the cold night.

*   *   *

I knocked the alarm clock off the night stand and it continued to grind out its irritating noise on the floor and under the bed and well out of reach.  Groaning, I tried to lean over the edge of the bed to grab the clock, but only managed to fall head first to the floor of my old room.  I fumbled around with my hand, searching for that blasted alarm clock under the bed.  Finally I found it and killed the alarm.  I continued to lay on the floor in a crumpled heap for a minute or two.

"Chris!", Dad called through the door.  "Time to drag that carcass of yours out of bed.  We have an eight hour drive ahead of us."  Wasn't that just peachy?

This was one morning that I was definitely glad to be in guy mode.  It was oh-dark-thirty and I was more than happy to be able to dispense with putting on my make-up and fixing my hair.

Mom had already laid out my clothes to wear.  I looked at the underwear she'd laid out and decided that I wasn't making that mistake again.  I darted quickly into Diane's old room, rummaged through the drawers and pulled out a few panties.  I packed a couple and slipped on the other one.  We were only going to be gone one night.

As I slid into the kitchen, Mom looked up and said, "If you want something to eat, you'd better hurry."

I sat down and as I poured some cornflakes into a bowl, Dad looked over at me and said, "Morning, son.  I'm surprised you got in so early last night."

I looked up from my breakfast and said, "Early?  I was afraid I was going to be in trouble since it was almost midnight when I got home."

Dad just chuckled as he said, "No.  I really didn't expect you back until one or two in the morning."

"Cool!  That's great.  I'll have to tell Jeff when we get back...", I said.

Dad interrupted saying, "No, now wait a minute.  Daughters still have to be in by eleven pm on weekends.  That doesn't change."

I just sat there and stared at Dad before finally saying, "You mean as Chris, I can stay out as late as I want..."

"Within reason.", interjected Dad.

"...But as Chrissy, I have to be back by ten or eleven, depending on the day?"  Dad nodded and I blurted out, "But that's not fair!"

Dad just shrugged and said, "Nobody said life was fair.  You want to be a daughter, you have to abide by the daughter's rules."  Finished with his breakfast, he started to stand.

I said, "But Dad, how can you do that?"

Again he shrugged and said, "That's just what dad's do.  You have to be more careful with daughters."

I squealed a grunt of frustration and finished my breakfast, fuming.

*   *   *

 

I slept most of the morning while in the car.  I woke up when Dad pulled off into a reststop.  We all climbed out of the car to stretch our legs and to relieve ourselves.

As I was approaching the men's room, a little old lady popped out of the women's and saw me.  She waved to get my attention and called, "Honey!  You're going in the wrong door!  It's right here."

Mom was right behind me and started to laugh.  The little old lady misunderstood why Mom found it humorous and said to her, "I sometimes find myself going in the wrong door myself!  You have a very lovely daughter."

"Thank you!", said Mom, not even trying to correct the old lady.  "I have another daughter too.  In fact, we're on our way to see her graduate from college."  They continued to make small talk while I was going crosseyed trying not to pee in my pants.  I flatly refused to use the women's room and I couldn't use the men's while the old lady was there.

The old lady finally shuffled on her way and I made a mad dash into the restroom.  As soon as I entered the restroom, the foul smelling air assaulted my nostrils, providing a less than gentle reminder as to why I was so glad I didn't have to sit down to pee.

The rest of the trip was pretty much the same.  A couple of hours of driving, followed by a break where I would be either hit on by college guys or told by old ladies how much I looked like my mother.  We stopped for lunch at Burger King, and I still just couldn't get any respect.

As we sat down with our Whoppers, exasperated, I said to Mom, "I just don't get it!  I'm not wearing make-up, I'm not wearing my boobs, I'm wearing guy clothes, no jewelry and I'm still being taken for a girl!"

"Well honey", said Mom after taking a bite, "you take such good care of your skin and hair and most guys don't pluck their eyebrows. You have a small frame, you don't move like a guy anymore..."

"And you're pretty, just like your mother.", interrupted Dad with noticable disgust in his voice.

I set the remainder of my burger down and said, "Okay, fine!  Mom, can I borrow your make-up?  There's no point in me trying to look like a boy!"  Some other Burger King patrons were starting to look over at us.

Dad, looking like he'd rather be burrowing into a hole somewhere said, "Chris!  Pipe down.  You're fine.  Let's just get to Diane's graduation without causing a riot, okay?"

In a booth to the side of me, a thirteen or fourteen year old girl with a pimple problem and a nose on the large size, leaned over their table to whisper to her mother.  Through the noise in the restaurant I could just barely hear, "Mom, why would any girl that pretty want to look like a boy?  I'd give anything to be that pretty."

Her mother replied, "Beats me dear.  Some people just don't appreciate what they have.  And honey, you are pretty.  Finish your lunch."

*   *   *

 

We made it to the university campus with thirty minutes to spare.  As we walked across the campus to the building where the ceremony was being held, I noticed quite a variety of hair length on guys, so I hoped I wouldn't stand out here like I had elsewhere that morning.  It also helped that it was getting a little chilly with a threat of rain, so there were fewer people out and about.

Near the auditorium, however, there was quite a crowd forming.  We filed inside and tried to find seats that were high enough to easily see the floor.  There were rows and rows of empty chairs on the floor.

As we made our way up to the seats we had spotted, a guy who was already seated looked up at me with a puzzled expression.  "Hey, Diane!  I thought you were graduating today?"

I just stared at him for a few moments before finally saying, "Diane is my sister, and she is graduating today."

"Cool..."

As we continued on, I heard the guy turn to person next to him and say, "Did you know  Diane has a sister?"

Ten minutes after the time that it was supposed to start, the graduates started filing in to a stirring rendition of Pomp & Circumstance.  Mom let out a squeak, nudged Dad, and pointed when she finally spotted Diane.  Dad handed me his camera so I could see Diane with it.  The camera had a long telephoto lens and I sucked in my breath when I finally got it pointed at my sister.  I hadn't seen her in a couple of years since she had a regular job as well as being a student and couldn't always get away for any length of time.

Anyway, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  Except for the lighter hair, looking at Diane, felt like I was looking at me.  She spotted us and waved, then the ceremonies began and she turned her attention to the podium.

We sat mostly in silence, watching the parade of graduates march across the stage and receive their degrees.  Dad started videotaping when Diane's row stood up and began their procession.  As Diane walked across the stage, oddly my first thought was, where did she get her shoes? 

As she started to leave the stage after being handed her degree, she looked up at us, smiling, then for the first time, she actually noticed me and a strange look crossed her face.  She look down the steps of the stage as she descended, then look back up at me with a look that definitely said, "What the hell!?"

The ceremonies finally ended and everyone started roaming around, looking for their special graduate.  We caught up with Diane where she was talking animatedly with a group of other girls.  When she saw us approach, she disengaged herself from that group and ran to meet us. 

Diane almost knocked Dad down as she leaped toward him and gave him a huge hug, "Daddy!  I'm so glad you're here!  I'm so happy to see you!"  She pulled away and looked toward Mom and said, "I'm happy to see all of you!  I can't believe I'm finally done!"  She gave Mom a huge hug as well and they kissed and cried.

Then Diane turned towards me, wearing an expression usually reserved for seeing space aliens.  Looking me up and down, she said, "Chris!  My God!  What's up with you?  What's with the hair?"  She leaned in and looked at me closer and exclaimed, "You've shaped your eyebrows and your ears are pierced!  What is this?"

Dad quickly said, "It's a long story, Diane.  We'll explain later.  Let's go check into our motel before they give the room to someone else."

All the way over to the motel, Diane talked non-stop about all her big adventures at the university, her friends, her classes and her endless parade of ex-boyfriends.

We finally got checked in and settled into our room.  Diane wasn't going to stay the night with us.  After we all had dinner together, she was planning to go back to visit some friends who were leaving the next morning for one last party together.

I decided to take quick shower to refresh myself, while Mom caught Diane up on all the latest town gossip.  After toweling off, I just put on  clean underwear and started brushing my hair out.  There was a knock on the door.

"Hey Chris", call Diane through the door.  "I need to pee.  Are you done in there?"

"Yeah, sure.  Just a sec.", I said.  Without thinking, I stepped through the door, dressed only in my underwear.

"Ack!  Put some clothes on!" Diane said as she moved past me to enter the bathroom.  She stopped suddenly and turned around, studying my underwear.  "Chris, you're wearing panties!  Hey, those are my panties!"  She chased me out of the restroom area yelling, "Get your butt out of my underwear!!"

Mom and Dad stopped watching television and turned to see what the ruckus was.  Diane stopped chasing me and said to them, "Mom...Dad...Chris is wearing my panties!"

They just looked at her and Dad said, "Yeah?  So?"

Panic washing over her face as if she was trapped in a grade B thriller, Diane blurted, "Mommm!!  He's...wearing...my...underwear!  His hair is as long as mine.  He...he plucks his eyebrows and shaves his legs for chrissakes!"  We all just stared at her for a moment and then she said, "Someone tell me just what the Hell is going on here!"

In unison, Mom and Dad looked over at me.  Dad said, "Well, son?  Are you going to give your sister an explaination?"

I fidgited nervously for a moment, studying my feet.  I looked up and stared Diane directly in her eyes and said, "Diane...I'm a cheerleader."

*   *   *

 

End of Part 4

 

 

since 05/11/04