I’m with the Band

By Melanie Brown
Copyright © 2005

 

Part 9

We arrived at our hotel room fairly late Friday night.  Since we had to be up pretty early, we went straight to bed.  Well, after I washed my hair, of course. Then Mom manicured my nails, admonishing me for just clipping them without filing and shaping them.  She then painted them with a pretty pink polish.

Saturday morning around seven, we strolled into the add agency’s studio.  I hadn't bothered with putting on any make-up that morning. When we arrived, they ushered me straight to make-up.  I thought I looked frightful, but the make-up girl, Ms. Grant, kept commenting about how little make-up she was going to need to give me that fresh-faced, teen girl next door look.

While I was being made up, they rolled in a couple of racks of clothes.  Mom had faxed them my measurements a few days before so I wouldn’t have to have measurements taken there.  Standing there in my underwear, it would be painfully obvious that I had no boobs at all and even though I had no testicles to bulge in my panties and I could push the not-so-mister-happy back up inside, there would still be a tell tale bulge in my panties.

Mom had also faxed back my signed application to the Screen Actors Guild so I'd be allowed to stand in front of the camera.  Mr. Winters would guarantee the dues.  Unions were none too popular back home and Dad wasn't happy with the idea.  Frankly I didn't care for having yet another slice of my, so far alleged, income siphoned off before I even saw one dime.  But without it, I couldn't do the commercials.

While the crew was setting up the studio, I rummaged through the racks of clothes.  I hope they weren’t intending to have me wear all of these.  There were various dresses, including a cheerleader dress, jeans, shorts, and a variety of tops.

I walked into the studio and was rather disappointed with what I saw.  There was one camera, and from the ceiling hung several large lights.  There was a white backdrop hanging from the ceiling down to the floor.  There weren’t any sets and beyond the backdrop were just bare studio walls.  A few cables and saw horses cluttered the floor.  People hurried back and forth on tasks that I had no idea what they were doing.

While I was standing there, I saw Mom approach.  With her was some guy I’d never seen before.

“Michelle,” said Mom.  “This is Rob Stillwell.  He’s the director for your commercial.”

He extended his hand and I placed a limp hand into it.  He just gripped my fingers and gave them a quick shake and let go. “Pleased to meet you, Ms. Grayson,” Mr. Stillwell said pleasantly.  “We’ll get started shortly.  See Ms. Snodgrass, that young lady over there in yellow?  She’ll be helping you with your wardrobe selection.  You can change in private over there.  Be sure to let Ms. Grant know if think your make-up needs attention.  Have you ever shot a commercial before?”

I shook my head and said, “No sir.  Just modeling for a magazine ad.”

Mr. Stillwell nodded and said, “Being in front of a camera doesn’t bother or embarrass you?”  I shook my head and he added, “Good.  I’ve heard you’re easy to work with, so this should go fast today.”

I took another look around at the activity in the studio and couldn’t believe what I saw. Tommy Kincaid was just coming out of the room where Ms. Grant does the make-up.  He saw me, waved and started heading in my direction.  What is this guy – a stalker?

Tommy bounded up and gave me a big hug.

“Tommy!  What are you doing here?” I asked as he finally let go.

Feigning being indignant, he said, “Well, that’s a fine greeting!”

“Sorry, I’m just surprised...”

Grinning, he said, “That was the plan!  I heard last Monday that you were going to be doing this commercial.  I hurried over to audition for the male model role the commercial calls for.  At first they told me they couldn’t afford me, but I said I’d work for scale.”

Monday?  Monday!  I didn’t know about this until Thursday.  This commercial was scheduled before Mom called to ask if I could quit the contract.  Mom had to have known, but she didn’t say anything.

“Okay people!” Mr. Stillwell suddenly shouted.  “We’re about ready to start.  I need my tampon girl over here!”

I frowned and thought Oh come on!  Just call me Michelle!  I hurried over to him as he was motioning me to hurry.  Tommy followed close behind.

When I arrived, Mr. Stillwell said, “Okay, here’s the plan.  Ms. Grayson, you’ll always stand where that small ‘x’ is on the white drop.  On my signal, move to the where the '1' is.  We’ll ask you to do something that’s appropriate for the costume you’ll be wearing for each take.”

He paused, so I asked, “What do I say?”

Mr. Stillwell shook his head and said, “Nothing.  You mainly just stand there.”

“I don’t say anything?” I asked, incredulous.

“You’ll read a voice-over when we’re done shooting.  You can read, can’t you, sweetie?”

“Of course I can read!  Do I hold up the product or anything?”

Again Mr. Stillwell shook his head and was starting to look impatient.  He said, “No, we’ll shoot a hand model later today. That is, if we ever get done with this part.”

I turned to Tommy and asked, “He’s kidding, right?”

Tommy just shook his head and said, “No.”

Before I could say anything else, Mr. Stillwell said, “Okay, people!  We’ve got work to do.  Ms. Grayson, if you’d be so kind as to go see Ms. Snodgrass and change into your first costume.  Be back here in five minutes.”  I hesitated and he made a ‘shooing’ motion.

I looked for the girl in yellow and hurried over to her.  She was already holding some clothes. 

As she handed them to me, Ms. Snodgrass said, “Just go in that room there to change.”

It was a small room with a bench on the floor, a hook on the wall, and mirror on the wall and not much else.  I quickly stripped and hung my clothes on the hook.

I looked at the clothes handed to me.  It was pink mini dress with a ruffled skirt.  I also had white tennies and large hoop earrings.  I quickly took my earrings off and slid them into a pocket on my pants hanging on the hook. I slid into the dress and it was a perfect fit.  I looked at myself in the mirror and on sudden impulse, spun around quickly and watched the skirt flare out.  I briefly wondered if I'd be allowed to keep the dress.  I slid on my shoes, put the earrings on, and left the dressing room.

Mr. Stillwell motioned me over to my spot.  He waved at someone and a fan started blowing, making my skirt and hair wave around a little.

"Okay," said Mr. Stillwell.  "On my signal, Tampon Girl puts on a big smile, and takes one step from her first mark to the second mark.  Put your hands on your hips, look at the camera like you're in love with it -- Tommy, go stand beside the camera -- and continue to smile until I say 'cut'.  Got it?  Good.  Let's do it."

I stood on my mark as directed, and tried to smooth out my skirt.  I looked up and there was Tommy with a big ear-to-ear grin.  I smiled at him and looked back at my feet to make sure I was where I was supposed to be.

"Sweetheart, look at me," barked the director.  I looked up and he was counting down.  He then pointed his finger at me.

I smiled what I hoped was a nice big smile, and took a single step over to the other mark and stared at Tommy, who grinned right back at me.  I stood there smiling for what seemed an eternity.

"Cut!" shouted Mr. Stillwell.  "Okay, sweetie.  That looked good.  Go get into your next costume."

I felt confused, but I hurried back over to Ms. Snodgrass. 

Ms. Snodgrass handed me a cheerleader uniform and some pom-poms.  As I took the uniform, she said, "Put the costume you're wearing in that box when you come out."  She pointed to a large box next to her.  So much for keeping the dress.

We went through pretty much the same routine with the cheerleader uniform.  I got to wave the pom-poms and Mr. Stillwell asked me to back up and try doing a cartwheel.  I'd never tried doing a cartwheel before and not only did I fall on my behind, I somehow managed to kick one of the studio lights over.

The whole morning was a quick succession of costume changes and stepping in front of the camera.  It was a lot more boring than I thought it would be.

For one shot, Tommy was standing near my second mark and was wearing a tux!  I was dressed in a blue satin formal gown that made a swishing sound when I walked.  The high heels put me at eye level with Tommy.  Ms. Grant had spent a few minutes trying to fix my hair in a quick, elegant style.

Tommy just stood there as I moved into the shot and then I was sent back for another change.  For one brief moment, the thought of me wearing this gown and going to the premier of Tommy's new movie, being escorted down the red carpet by Tommy himself passed through my mind.  I immediately pushed the thought out of my head.

It was about one in the afternoon and I was getting tired and hungry.  Mr. Stillwell said, “We’ll do one or two more then break for lunch.  Sometime today, Michelle.”

I rushed over to my now very familiar mark.  I was wearing a very short, white tennis dress and had a racket in my hand.  Mr. Stillwell gave me the signal and I stepped to my second mark.  I stood there as I had all morning and smiled.  Suddenly I felt a pair of lips on my cheek.  It took me totally by surprise and in an instant I realized it was Tommy giving me a kiss.  I felt embarrassed and looked at the floor for a second, and then I looked back around me at Tommy, who was laughing.  I felt compelled to laugh as well.  I just knew that Mr. Stillwell was going to blow a gasket.

“Cut!” shouted Mr. Stillwell.  “Did you get that Roland?  Great!  Thanks Tommy.  Michelle’s reaction was perfect.  I think we’ll close the ad with that one.  Okay, everyone.  Be back here at two thirty.  We’ll move the camera and get set up again so when we all get back, we can shoot the face shots.”

“There’s more?” I asked, still laughing a little at Tommy.

Mr. Stillwell looked at me like I was an idiot.  “Of course.  Now we select a few pieces of wardrobe, mainly just the tops, and get a slow-mo shot of your face with your hair blowing freely in the wind.”

Tommy stepped up to me and asked, “Hey, you want to go to lunch with me?  There’s a Burger King just around the corner. My treat.”

Surprised, I looked down my nose at him and asked, “Burger King?”

Tommy laughed and said, “Don’t look so surprised!  I’m a kid too, you know!  Besides, all that lobster, caviar and pâté gets a little old after a while.”  He then winked.

"Okay, sure!  Let me go change."  I hurried back to the changing room.  By now, I was an expert at changing my clothes.

Tommy looked up from where he was sitting.  "Wow, that was quick.  I just sat down."  He stood up, took my hand and said, "Let's go!"

I looked quickly for Mom, spotted her and waved with my free hand.  She just smiled and waved back.

Tommy led me out of the studio, down the block and around the corner.  There as promised was a Burger King.  As we approached it, Tommy said, "This isn't a celebrity hang-out, so hopefully we'll be able to eat free of any paparazzi or reporters."

We placed our orders and sat down to eat.  After unwrapping and picking up my burger, I casually laid my free hand on the table.  Tommy immediately placed his hand on mine, then picked it up and stroked it with his thumb.

"So soft. And small.  Like the rest of you, you have pretty hands," Tommy said just before taking a bit of his burger.  Does this guy ever quit?

I looked at my hand and it indeed did look small while in Tommy's grasp.  Well, he is two years older than me...and he has testosterone flowing through his body, and I don't.  I sighed at the thought that now, because of my new career, I'd have to delay any HRT until the band fizzled.

At my sigh, Tommy gave my hand a little squeeze and he gave me a dopey smile.  I can't seem to make any move that Tommy doesn't misinterpret.

Tommy looked towards the door as it opened and groaned.  "Well, so much for escaping paparazzi.  See that guy over there?"  He pointed towards the door where I rather large man with sweaty hair plastered to his forehead and wearing a rumpled red Hawaiian shirt.  He also had an expensive and really nice digital camera hanging around his neck.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"That's Nick Arger and he's a major pest.  He's always hunting me down.  I'm sure one of his contacts informed him of the commercial we're shooting today."  He took another bite then added, "If you look up asshole in the dictionary, his picture is by the definition."

"He's bound to see us."  Tommy went silent a moment, looking thoughtful.  Then he said, "Can I move over to your side?  Then, unless he sits right there," Tommy pointed, "he might not see my face."

For all I knew, the guy Tommy fingered as 'Nick' might be just some tourist and Tommy was using him as an excuse to sit next to me. Until I knew different, I had to give him the benefit of a doubt.  I smiled at him and said, "Sure, Tommy.  I'd like that."

Tommy wasted no time in sliding next to me. He slid one arm behind me, resting it on back of the seat. I'll have to talk to Mom about getting a restraining order.

Tommy ooched over to make sure our legs were touching and he said, "I really missed you this week, Michelle.  I'm so glad you came back to town this weekend."

I ooched a little bit over to make sure our legs weren't touching and said, "Thanks for the flowers, Tommy. They were very pretty."

I felt Tommy's hand drop on my shoulder.  "You're very welcome." He looked thoughtful for a moment, and then added, "You know, when you finish with school for the summer, you should move out here.  That would be really cool."

I didn't know what to do about his hand.  Would it be rude to push it off?  I said, "Oh I don't know about that.  I don't know if I could move away from my friends and family.  Back home, people are nice to you because they like you.  Here they're nice to you because they think you have money."

Tommy laughed.  "Wow...you're too young to be so cynical!  I like you and I don't give a flip if you have money or not."

"Thank you.  And I appreciate that.  It's nice to see a friendly face here," I said honestly.  Then Tommy was resting his arm across my shoulder instead of the back of the seat.

His hand was suddenly stroking my hair.  He smiled and said, "You're a nice girl, Michelle."  He changed to a serious tone as he continued, "Don't let this industry or this town change you.  It's very easy to let it."

I smiled and said, "Now you're being cynical!"

He flashed a humorless smile and said, "You're perfect.  I just don't want anything to change that."

I smiled at him and said, "I'll try not to let it change me."  Much anyway.  By the way, did you know I used to be a boy?  I mean, I am a boy?

Tommy was about to say something else, when some movement off to the side caught his attention.  He whispered, "He's coming this way!  Quick!"  He pulled me closer to him and kissed me.  I felt his other hand hold the back of my head as his tongue entered my mouth.  I saw a bright flash.  I tried to pull away, but Tommy's strong hand held my head in place.

"Thanks, Tommy!" said a gruff voice.  "That's a great picture!"

Tommy disengaged himself and he turned to face the source of the voice.  "Nick, you bastard.  I was trying to hide from you."

Nick laughed and said, "I saw you the moment I walked in.  I knew you weren't going anywhere soon, though and I was hungry.  So I took my time."  He quickly snapped another picture.  "I should get a lot for these pics!"

Scowling, Tommy said, "Maybe you'll be able to buy a new shirt."  Turning to me, he took my hand and said, "Let's get out of here."

I pulled my hand back and said, "I can't believe you did that!" I folded my arms across my chest and gave him a dirty look.  Another picture was snapped.

Tommy stood up and shouted, "Nick!  Will you please leave?"

Nick towered over Tommy.  He said, "Or you'll do what, runt?  I have every right to be here."

Everyone was staring at us.  I was never so embarrassed in my whole life.  Tommy looked like he was getting ready to throw a punch at the jerk photographer.   This was looking bad...I was embarrassed, Tommy was about to get arrested and everyone was looking at us.

I jumped up and shouted, "I'm leaving!"  I stormed out through the doors.  I spat on the ground a few times. I couldn't get the thought of Tommy's tongue against mine out of my head.  I don't think I could ever spit enough times to cleanse my mouth from having had a boy's tongue inside it.

I heard the door slam open and Tommy shout, "Michelle!  Wait!  Please!"

A girl in a group of girls walking down the sidewalk shouted, "Ohmigod!  It's Tommy Kincaid!"

I kept walking.  Behind me, but much closer came Tommy's voice, "Please stop!"

I stopped and stood there for a second, then spun around about the time Tommy caught up with me.  I just stood there and glowered at him.  The group of girls behind Tommy moved in closer, but were just standing there, watching the spectacle.

"Michelle!" gasped Tommy as he caught his breath.  "What's wrong?"

Oblivious to people walking around us, I shouted, "You kissed me!  My God, Tommy, you practically shoved your tongue down my throat!"

I heard one of the girls in the group say, "That lucky little bitch!  And she's complaining!"

Looking incredulous, Tommy said, "I was just trying to hide our faces from Nick.  I was trying to protect us!"

"Bullshit!  You took advantage of me!"  I shouted.  "You just don't kiss someone you barely know like that!"  Especially me!

From behind us, a girl called out, "Tommy!  You can take advantage of me!"

"Yeah, Tommy!" shouted another.  "Take advantage of me!"

"I'm sorry, babe!" exclaimed Tommy.  "I shouldn't have.  I know.  I thought we had something between us."

I stood closer to him and said in a lower voice, "No, Tommy.  We don't."  I paused a second.  I was mad that a boy kissed me in public like that.  Now there was going to be pictures of me kissing a boy plastered all over the world.  My mind raced.  I had to say something girlish to him.  I added, "I like you, Tommy.  I really do.  You're nice, most of the time.  You're really cool to be with.  But you made me feel really cheap back there."

A girl shouted, "Forget that bitch Tommy!  You're too good for her.  Pick someone that'd appreciate you...like me!"  All the girls in the group laughed.

Before Tommy could say anything, I pointed at the group of girls and said, "There you go, Tommy.  You can have any girl you want.  Why pick on me?"

Tommy looked back at the girls behind him.  He turned back to me and said, "Because I don't want any other girl, Michelle.  I want to be with a girl who doesn't care that I'm famous and rich and a movie star.  I want a girl who's kind and down-to-earth, but also a girl who has some mystery to her."  He paused for effect and added, "I want you, Michelle."

I had to admit, the guy's a good actor.  He seemed so sincere.  And maybe he was.  I was totally inexperienced at being some guy's object of desire.  All I know was that it was getting harder for me to stay pissed off at the guy.

My tone softened and I said, "Tommy.  I like you.  I love hanging out with you.  I just don't think things would work out between us."

Tommy saw the chink in my armor.  He got down on one knee and took my hand and said, "I was wrong, Michelle.  Please say you forgive me."

I said in a low voice, "Tommy!  Get up!  This is embarrassing."  I tugged on his hand.

He shook his head and said, "No.  Not until you forgive me!"

Okay, this was getting just plain weird.  I dropped his hand and said, "Fine!  Stay here for all I care!"  I spun around and started to walk away.

"Michelle!  Don't make stay on my knees!" Tommy shouted.  "These are expensive pants and I don't want to wear out the knees!  And my foot is going to sleep."

I stopped and turned around and looked at Tommy, who was looking especially pitiable right there.  I laughed and walked back to him.  I stood in front of him and extended my hand.  Quietly, I said, "I forgive you, Tommy."

Tommy smiled and took my hand and kissed my fingers.  Then he stood up and said, "Thanks!"  He brushed his pants off and said, "I'm really sorry.  I won't do that again."

Laughing, I said, "You're forgiven, Tommy.  You can stop apologizing."

"Sorry," said Tommy.

"You can cut that out now!" I shouted, pretending to be angry.

Tommy shrugged and said, "Okay, I'm sorry."

"Tommy!"  I glowered at him.

Laughing, he said, "Okay, okay.  I think we need to get back."

One of the girls behind Tommy shouted, "We love you, Tommy!"  Tommy turned around and gave them a smile and a wave.  We started walking back to the studio.

We hadn't taken three steps before Tommy turned and said to me, "Sorry."

I let out a growl of anguish and gave Tommy a slight shove and started to run.  Tommy started chasing me and we ran laughing and squealing through the crowded sidewalk back to the studio.

*   *   *

"It's about time you two got back," Mr. Stillwell said sternly.  "It costs money to keep these guys standing around."

Tommy said simply, "Sorry."

I shot him a dirty look and he just smiled at me.

Mr. Stillwell said, "Okay.  If we can get our tampon girl to change back into that first costume, we can get started."

As I started to collect the pink dress, Ms. Snodgrass shouted, "Ms. Grant!  Ms. Grayson needs make-up!"

Ms. Grant fussed over me a few minutes.  Finally I got back into the pink dress and hurried over to my mark.  The camera had been moved closer and positioned so that only my head and shoulders would be in the frame.

Mr. Stillwell looked down his nose at me and said, "Thank you so much for joining us, Ms. Grayson."  He looked over at the camera and said, "Check the speed.  This will be slow-motion."  Back to me he said, "Ms. Grayson, if you would please, on my signal, smile really big and move your head around some.  Cue the fan."

I stood there with the fan blowing my hair around.  On Mr. Stillwell's signal, I smiled and moved my head around.  We did this with about ten other costumes before we quit.

Mr. Stillwell walked up to me, handed me a sheet of paper and said, "Great job, miss!  You're very natural in front of the camera.  Now, if you would please, study these lines for a few minutes.  It always sounds best if it doesn't sound like you're reading them.  Shortly, we'll go back into that little recording booth and you'll record the voice-over."

I looked over the first few lines and winced.  I have to say this?  I re-read the first couple of lines, 'If you're a girl on the go like me, you don't want anything to slow you down when...'

I shook my head as I memorized the lines.  I noticed Tommy was standing around, talking to the camera operator.  After several minutes, I felt I was ready and headed for the recording booth.

*   *   *

We were finally done!  When we stepped out of the studio, it was well on its way to becoming dark.  Mom, Tommy, and I exited the building at the same time.

Tommy put out his hand and said, "Hey, it was great seeing you again, Michelle.  Maybe we can do something next time you're in town."  He shook my hand, turned and hurried down the sidewalk a ways, hailed a cab and was gone.

I just stood there, watching Tommy's cab drive away, and feeling empty inside.  I was hoping that maybe Tommy would invite me to another cool place for dinner.

Mom looked at me, and then said, "What's the matter Honey?  You should be happy.  You did good today."

I shook my head and said, "No, Mom.  I blew it.  I think I've got Tommy mad at me."

Mom gave me an odd look and asked, "What makes you think that?"

I told Mom about the whole mess in Burger King.  She listened with a look of concern on her face.

When I had finished, Mom said, "Don't worry about it too much, Honey.  It's not like you were going to be his girlfriend anyway.  It's best anyway, since it wouldn't be fair to Tommy.  You shouldn't have led him on like that."

"Mom!" I squealed.  "I didn't lead him on!  It was all his idea.  He's fun to hang out with, but I don't want to date him!  Jeeze!  Come on, Mom.  He's a guy!"

"Are you sure you haven't been encouraging him?"

Folding my arms, I said, "I'm quite sure!"

*   *   *

We were sitting on Kayla's bed, facing each other and painting each other's toenails and watching MTV.  It had been a week since our weekend in Hollywood.  I hadn’t wanted to talk about it, but Kayla finally badgered me into it.

"You were French kissed by Tommy?" exclaimed Kayla.  "It's such a waste that you're not a real girl and hate being kissed by a guy like Tommy."

I said, "You wouldn't have liked being kissed like that.  We're just pals, and then he goes and treats me like we're going steady or something."

Kayla looked thoughtful for a moment, and then said, "Maybe with any other boy.  But not with Tommy."

I frowned and asked, "Just because he's famous?"

Kayla paused a moment, then said, "Yeah...mostly!  And because he's adorable!"

We painted a few more toenails before Kayla said quietly, "I'm glad you're a girl now."

I sat up straight with a jolt and said, "What?  What do you mean?  Why would think that?"

"We've been friends a long time," said Kayla unnecessarily.  "By the time we got to the fifth grade, I was really worried that it was going to end.  That you'd change to be just like all the other boys and that we couldn't be just pals anymore.  I always thought of us more as girlfriends and I didn't want that ruined by you asking me out or something.  But you never did. 

"And now we're sisters, kinda.  I don't do that blood sister thing with just any friend, and absolutely never with a boy.  And now we're real girlfriends!  We polish each others toenails; do each other's hair and make-up.  I think it's great!"

I was stunned.  I was shocked.  I was dumbfounded.  Before I could say anything, Kayla pointed at the television and shouted, "Look!"

There I was on the screen in the pretty pink dress, with my voice saying, "If you're a girl on the go like me, you don't want to be slowed down when..."  The scene changed to me in a cheerleaders uniform waving pom-poms and my voice continued, "...you're cheering on the home team!  Or..."  The scene changed again to a shot of me rushing past the screen with school books, "...you're hurrying to school. Or..." Me stepping next to Tommy in his tux and me in the satin gown, "...going to the prom!  Or..." Me with Tommy in jeans and sweater, "...a walk in the park." 

A box of Satin Teen tampons appeared on the screen being held by hands that weren't mine while my voice said, "Satin Teen tampons by Tampax are perfect for girls on the go who need more protection than pads can provide."  The scene changed again to show me standing there smiling as Tommy comes from out of the frame to kiss me on the cheek.  I looked a little surprised, then looked towards the ground, then turned, laughing to face Tommy. "...For girls on the go...like you!"

"Michelle!  You're on TV!" squealed Kayla.  "And Tommy kisses you!  That's so cool!"

It was really weird seeing myself on television.  Especially as a girl!

Kayla continued, "I loved the look on your face when Tommy kissed you.  That look says a lot!"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Kayla grinned at me.  "Do I really have to say it?  You should know. After all, he kissed you."

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

Kayla rolled her eyes.  "That wasn't exactly an 'ew yuck' surprise look.  That was an 'oh yeah!' surprise look.  Don't try to hide it anymore, Michelle.  You enjoyed that kiss from Tommy!"

End of Part 9

 

 

  since 9/25/05