Comdex, Clothing, and Confusion
Copyright © 2003 Beth Williams
Part One
Monday
I want it clearly understood; there I was, minding my own
business, bothering no one, and no one bothering me. That was important to
me. You see, I’m 6’ tall, weigh in at 374 pounds, and am a transgendered MTF
individual. The evening this all started I was wearing a black floral dress
with a purple sweater. An outfit I had worn to church. An outfit I absolutely
knew I “passed” in. Once you reach a certain degree of obesity the differences
between male and female body types really starts to blur. I knew that with
acceptable breast forms, as long as I conformed to the image of a fat chick no
one would pay me the least bit of attention – except to bemoan the fact that
such a “pretty woman” was so large. And yes, that comment had been made about
me.
It was Monday, the 12th of November, 2001, in Las
Vegas; I was attending the annual Comdex computer show. Yes, among other
things, I’m a computer geek. I work as a senior systems manager for a
university in California. The crowds were lighter than previous years, as a
result of the 911 attacks I suppose. I had traded my pumps in for sneaks after
a long day in the exhibit halls, and had taken the Comdex shuttle over to the
Cox Pavilion for the annual HP-Chili fest – one of my favorite annual events.
The Chili fest was in its 12th year – and all the proceeds went to
the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. I had no sooner
arrived than this man bumped into me. He was 6’3” or maybe 6’4”, a bean pole.
Not a big deal; except the look on his face. Total shock and I thought for a
moment he had suffered a heart attack. He took a step or two backwards, burst
into tears, and ran for the ranks of Taxis. This was definitely a different
sort of experience. I took a quick check of myself – was I somehow “read”?
Why such an extreme reaction? The woman behind me on the shuttle asked what
had happened and why the man ran off. I simply shook my head, and the two of
us headed towards the ticket counter.
As always, the chili was great, and Sue, my new found friend
proved to be a delightful conversationalist. It turned out that she worked for
the University of Massachusetts in Amherst – near where I had attended graduate
school. We sampled the various chili recipes, drank coronas, and compared
notes on our respective schools. If she suspected I was a man, she never once
let it show. Towards the end of the evening, we were both a bit buzzed, and
decided to share a taxi back to our hotels. The lights, the action of Las
Vegas were as always mind numbing, and I was glad to get back to the
Excalibur, after dropping Sue off at the Paris Las Vegas hotel. A quick shower
and I was headed to bed. Lying there, I couldn’t get the image of the horror
stricken man out of my mind. When he looked at me, it was almost as if he had
seen a ghost. Weird.
Tuesday
The next morning, Tuesday, I took it easy, and spent some
time in Kristina’s – the Excalibur salon. I treated myself to a manicure and
pedicure, followed up with a leisurely breakfast in the Sherwood Forrest Café.
It’s corny, but I love the whole King Arthur medieval thing about the
Excalibur. I was just finishing up when this man walks up to my table and asks
if he can join me. Yep, you guessed it, the terror struck man from the
previous night. He had red puffy eyes, an unshaven face, and wore clothes that
looked like he had slept in them. I wasn’t sure if I should scream or run. As
I began to frantically look for help, he lowered himself into the chair
opposite me, and began to softly weep. I don’t know about you, but it’s hard
for me to be afraid of someone when they’re weeping. Call it a misplaced
maternal instinct, or whatever, but I couldn’t help wondering what was wrong,
and why I triggered such powerful emotions in this man. After a moment, he
looked up, and tried to compose himself. Saying nothing, with great
difficulty, he took out his wallet, removed a picture, and handed it to me. I
turned the picture over and found myself staring at a picture of myself –
wearing a dress I know I’d never seen before. As I looked back at the man, he
explained: “my name’s Hal, that’s my wife, Kate. She died in September in New
York. When I saw you, I couldn’t help myself. I thought Kate had returned
from the dead. I’ve spent the night wandering around trying to understand. As
I was returning to my room, I noticed you through the window. Forgive me for
disturbing you, but can I ask your name?”
It was without a doubt the beginning of the weirdest day of
my life. Forgetting that I was spending the week in femme, I blurted out
“John” in a baritone no one could mistake as feminine.
Now I thought I’d seen this man distressed before. This
time, his eyes rolled up into the back of his head, he shuddered all over, and
passed out. Not a good move on his part. Think about it. I’m sitting, in
femme, in a hotel restaurant with a disheveled man passed out at my table.
Fortunately this was Las Vegas, and I guess disheveled guests passed out at
tables were not that uncommon. I called to my waiter, paid my check, and asked
if he could help me get my “husband” back to “our” room. The waiter called a
bellman, and they helped Hal to his feet (you would have thought he was totally
drunk the way he staggered), and the bellman helped me get Hal to my room.
Why my room you ask? Well, I didn’t want to search his
pockets in public, but I definitely wanted to get him to a less conspicuous
place. The maid had already tidied up the room. Hal still was not able to
focus very well, so we laid him down on the bed. I tipped the bellman, and
waited for Hal to come around.
I was glad the room had a well stocked bar. Two Bloody Marys’
later I was felling mellow, and Hal was beginning to remember who he was. I
made my third Bloody Mary, and figured, why not, and made one for Hal. As I
started to hand it to him, I gave him a little smile. Again, he did the
shuddering act, his eyeballs rolled back, and he was out like a light. I am
NOT used to this reaction. You might not like fat chicks, but I’ve NEVER had
someone: a - run away screaming in terror; b – pass out at my table; or c –
faint dead away simply because I smiled at him. I simply had to find out what
the deal was with Hal. I sat the Bloody Marys down, turned on Oprah, and
waited for Hal to come around again.
Half an hour later, more or less, Hal showed signs of
returning to the land of the living. This time, I simply pointed to the Bloody
Mary, and said not a word.
“You’re a man?” I simply nodded. “I can’t believe it.”
“If I talk softly, will you promise not to pass out on me
again?” This time he nodded. “By the way, if it makes you feel any better,
when I’m dressed like this, my friends call me Beth.”
“Thanks, Beth.” Again, he unconsciously shook his head.
“Do you suppose you can tell me why you keep on taking naps?
“
“Ah…. Yeah, I have been a bit out of it. Okay, first your
voice did me in. There I was sitting with the twin sister of my dead wife and
it turns out she’s her twin brother. Or whatever, then, as I wake up, you hand
me my favorite drink, as Kate did a thousand times, smiling with Kate’s smile,
and I lost it again. You are absolutely and incredibly identical to her in
your looks, your smile, your voice, and your mannerisms. I just can’t believe
it.” His eyes misted, and he gave me a sort of twisted half smile.
“You do realize you’ve more than sufficiently weirded me
out?” I asked teasingly. “Here I am, minding my own business, enjoying Comdex
and relaxing in my own special way and YOU drop into my life, scaring me
speechless, fainting at my table, causing me to tell the waiter “my husband
isn’t feeling well…” my HUSBAND????” I began to giggle uncontrollably, and oh
how I hate it when I giggle…. “And now in my room, you’re in MY bed, drinking
my Bloody Mary….” At which point I lost it, sitting back on the couch, laughing
like a mad woman.
“Can I ask you a question?” Hal said.
“Why not, what else could happen?”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you dressed like a woman?”
If you’ve ever met a friend in femme, this has got to be the
number one question of all time. “Normal” people just don’t quite understand.
“I suppose it’s because I feel at peace this way, I enjoy being feminine, it’s
when I’m dressed, feeling confident, being accepted as I truly am that I am
able to relax and be myself. As myself I say “To hell with convention, and to
hell with political correctness!”
It was getting to become an annoying habit. His eyes rolled
back, once again, and it was nighty night time for Hal.
Oprah was over, so I turned the channel to Oxygen. There
was an interesting interview with Dorothy Chandler on her new romance fantasy.
It was a mindless and fun way to waste another half hour….
Hal began to stir once again. “Okay…. What was it this
time?”
Sheepishly, he smiled “Kate gave me virtually that same
lecture when I asked why she wore dresses when most women were wearing pants.
Your tone of voice, the feeling and sincerity were Kate incarnate once again.
Woman, you’re beginning to really scare me!”
‘Woman’ I thought. Well we’re past the weird transgendered
freak stage I hope. “Uh, Hal? You know it’s nearly noon?”
“Lord, I forgot about the time. I’m an exhibitor, and I’ll
bet my staff is frantic wondering where I’m at. Can I use your phone?”
I pointed at it and told him to go ahead. It seemed the
easiest way out of what was beginning to make Alice in Wonderland coping with
the Mad Hatter appear sane.
I wondered off to the bathroom, took care of the Bloody Marys
and freshened up my face. By the time I returned, Hal had finished with the
phone and had this strange look on his face.
I began to look for a way to get him to lie down before he
passed out again, urging him back on to the bed. For the first time since I
met him, he responded with a genuine laugh.
“Nope, I’m not going to pass out again. Since you’re at
Comdex, are you in the computer industry?” His question caught me off guard.
“Well yes, I work for a university; I have a modest staff
that handles several mission critical UNIX applications.”
“Really?” I didn’t like the mischievous gleam in his eye.
“What flavor of Unix do you work with?”
‘Uh oh….’ I thought, I don’t know where this is going, but
suddenly all kinds of alarms are going off in my head. “Linux, BSD, HP, SCO, a
few others, why?”
Shit eating grin on his face…. This is really NOT good.
“Why that’s perfect!” he said. Do you do consulting at all?”
Is this an innocent question? How do I best answer this one
I thought? “Yes, sometimes, doesn’t everyone? Why do you ask?”
“Oh I don’t know. Maybe because my company works with HP
and their UNIX products. Would you be willing to help out from now till
Friday? I’ll pay you your normal consulting rate and a bonus.”
“Why?”
“I’m not going to lie. I miss my wife. You’re the next
closest thing I’ve found, and I’m willing to pay to be in your company for a
couple of days. I need to “relax and be myself” and my employees need me that
way also.”
Geez, I hate it when someone uses my own words against me.
I thought perhaps I could still scare him away. “You haven’t asked what my
consulting fees are.”
“You know, if it’s HP-Unix, it’s probably in the $150 to
$300 dollar per hour range. How about we go with the high end?” Again, he had
that miserable twinkle in his eye.
Since my normal rate was $180 per hour, this would be a
premium gig. Forget the weirdness, “How many hours?” I asked.
“Oh 8:00 in the morning till 6:00 at night; call it 8 hours
on Wednesday, but there’s also an evening get together on Thursday, so call it
14 hours, and maybe another 8 to 12 on Friday, and don’t forget, you’ve been
taking care of me all day today” he said.
Now, I’m not greedy, but by my calculations, close to 40
hours at $300 dollars an hour is the next best thing to $12000.00 for three
days work. A sum any BOFH would respect. “And you want me to dress how?” I
asked.
“Why dressed as you are now. For the next three days would
you mind if I called you Kate?”
$12000.00 was maybe not enough. Was Hal serious, or a
serious nut job? “Hal, Kate’s dead. Do you really want someone else in her
place?”
“Beth, I know who you are, well maybe know who you are,
John? But, there were many things I didn’t get to tell her, and she was the
heart of my company. Many of the employees would give anything to have her
back, just for a few days. When she died in New York, no one could believe
it. They never really did identify her body.” For the millionth time today,
his eyes misted. I really have this thing about tears, I can’t seem to resist
them – though till now I thought it was only my wife’s – and every other
woman’s – but it never occurred to me that a man could reduce me to jello by
tearing up.
“Hal, why don’t you go get cleaned up? I need some time to
think. And one thing I know is that YOU need a nap. You’ve been on your feet
for the last 24 hours at least – not counting the naps you’ve had with me. Go
take a shower, take a nap, and we’ll talk about this later.” I was hoping that
a few hours would give friend Hal a better perspective. I needed to do some
more of Comdex to justify my expense account, and Hal definitely needed time to
clean up and sort things out in his own mind.
“Okay Beth,” he said, “but I’ll expect you to be ready to
continue this conversation over dinner. Will 7:00 be acceptable?”
Uh oh…. Now I have a date, maybe, with a man who thinks I’m
his wife returned from the dead. “Just for dinner and planning” I asked?
“If that’s the way you want it. Oh, by the way, I’ve asked
my driver to be available for you this afternoon. He has instructions to take
you shopping for a couple of little things for the rest of the week, if you
accept. Is that okay?”
Shopping? Are you out of your mind? I love shopping, but
can seldom indulge in it the way I would like. It’s a matter of being
responsible with family finances – vs. – my innermost desires. “Hal, that’s
sweet, but are you sure it won’t be an imposition?”
“Well, look at it this way. If you accept, you’re going to
need more than I think you’ve brought with you. Do you have a “formal” gown
for Thursday’s night party? Friday will be hard and sweaty work, did you bring
casual clothes? And, if you are Kate, you’re going to need jewelry appropriate
to the part. Don’t you think?”
Formal; jewelry? What am I letting myself be in for? “Uh,
Hal…. Isn’t that something to be included in tonight’s discussion?”
“But of course, my dear. Nevertheless, time is short, and I
would rather be prepared for any eventuality. Besides, it’s only money.”
The way he said that left me cold. “It’s only money???”
I’ve spent my whole life scrimping and saving. And Hal tells me “It’s only
money”. Sheesh. “Hal, you are seriously in need of sleep. I’ll accept your
driver, but we are going to talk about this, I mean we are REALLY going to talk
about this, understand?”
“Yes, love”
Love? Oh My Gosh…. Hal took my hand, gave it a gentle
squeeze, and then brushed his lips against it. “I’ll see you this evening.”
With that, he made his way to the door, and I closed my eyes wondering if I
would ever escape the Mad Hatter’s Party? Or was I forever ensconced in the
March Hare’s world?.
The answer was no, The March Hare succumbed to the Mad
Hatter. The Mad Hatter really was in control. It was 12:15 when Hal left. At 12:30 Jeeves arrived. I really REALLY wish I could tell you I was making
that up, but his name actually was Jeeves. His knock on the door was gentle
but insistent. When I opened the door, his eyes opened wide, nearly bulging
out of their sockets.
“Madame Kate. I had no idea. I was instructed to accompany
you shopping. Mister Stevens instructed that I was to help you with certain
purchases. If you are ready; we can begin.”
‘Stevens?’ The plot thickens… “Please, call me Kate, where
are we going?”
“Well, Master Stevens told me about your harrowing ordeal,
the problems with your memory, and the loss of your wedding bands. His
instructions are to purchase a new set. He specifically instructed that the
engagement ring was to be a solitaire 5+ carat ring with what ever setting you
desired.”
A 5-carat ring? I couldn’t imagine what Hal was thinking.
The last time I checked, a ring of that size was more than the gross national
product of a small country. I followed Jeeves down to the car. Car?
Limousine was closer to the truth. Jeeves took me to Boulevard Mall. My first
destination: the jewelry stores. Jewelry stores plural, as in six different
stores. Jeeves took his instructions seriously; his employer told him 5
carats, and nothing less would do. After the sixth store, I told him, to stop,
and I went back to Bailey Banks and Biddle jewelers and selected the wedding
set I’d most admired. The diamond was only a bit more than 3 carats, but hey,
I could live with it (even if I still couldn’t believe it!). I asked if they
could size it while we waited. I suppose I wasn’t supposed to see it, but
Jeeves took the jeweler aside and paid him $500.00 to do it now.
That’s how I managed to wind up at 1:30 in the afternoon with a diamond ring the size of Gibraltar on my left hand ring finger with a
matching wedding band proclaiming my heart’s true love’s devotion. Oh Vey!
Jeeves also insisted on a couple of other “little” things, like matching 1
carat ear rings, necklace, tennis bracelet, and a new watch that cost more than
my car.
Jeeves next took me to “Gowns are Us” (can you believe the
name??). I asked him what we were here for. His reply was “Master Hal wishes
you to be the most beautiful woman at the company reception Thursday night. He
also specifically requested that you be suitably attired for tonight’s dinner
and reception.”
Uh oh… Reception?? Did anyone say anything about a
reception? I knew I had to be in Wonderland, and began looking around for Alice
and the White Rabbit – and a way to escape.
“Uh, Jeeves? What is this about a reception tonight?”
Ummmm. “It’s a company tradition Madame. Tonight Master
Hal and you announce the year’s profit statement in a private reception for
your senior managers. It’s also when you announce who gets this year’s bonus
cruise.”
Before I could escape, Jeeves asked the manager to
personally help me and supervise my choices. Annie smiled at the opportunity.
“It’s a pleasure to see you again Kate, seldom do I get to help one of America’s
richest women choose a new gown,” she said with a twinkle in her eye, a kiss on
the cheek, and a gentle hug.
‘Gulp,’ “One of America’s richest women???’”
Have you ever had a suddenly sinking feeling? The kind that
all of a sudden, without warning causes you to believe there’s no such thing as
reality? I just know the look on my face was the same as a deer frozen in the
headlights of an oncoming car. Annie just smiled again, told me no one would
know who I was, and proceeded to tell me about “the collection.”
I learned an interesting lesson. When you are presumed
rich, size limitations no longer seem to exist. In the past, I settled for
shopping at The Avenue, or Catherine’s. Not today. Gowns R Us, despite the
name, was indeed a haute couture fashion house, and one that believed in
satisfying it’s clientele.
Annie checked my measurements, consulted her computer, and
then asked if I would like tea or water while we waited for the models. Models?
It just keeps on getting weirder. There I was, sitting on a divan (much to
nice to be called a couch), chatting with a 20 something clothing designer
sipping Earl Grey tea while 4 plus size models “presented” “the collection.”
Annie and I finally settled on a platinum colored dress with
matching duster, and a black beaded evening gown with matching cloak. She
finished writing the order, picked up her teacup and casually asked, “and, by
the way, who are you really?”
My life had gotten completely out of hand. Have you ever
been in an express elevator, the kind in a really tall building? The kind that
when it goes down you feel like you’re weightless? That’s what my stomach felt
like. “Excuse me?”
“Hon, I’ve known Kate and Hal for over 10 years” she said
with a wistful smile. “They helped me start this business. Five years ago I
was Kate’s assistant, with an idea for a new kind of clothing pattern
software. Kate spearheaded the development, I worked on the concept, and
Cendar developed it. When it was done I founded Gowns R Us. You are remarkably
like Kate in every possibly way, except one. You had no clue who I was,” she
giggled, “you were given away as soon as you walked in the door. Now again,
please, who are you?”
“Alice, and I’ve fallen through the looking glass. And I’ve
just figured out you must be the Mad Hatter,” I sighed. “Since I met Hal last
night, my life has been absolutely crazy!”
Annie laughed outright, “Hal can do that to you. He’s been
really down since Kate disappeared. I was afraid he would do harm to himself.
I even tried to seduce him, hoping to break through his depression. I’ll tell
you this, when he called and said you’d be by it was clear his entire outlook
on life was different! I don’t know how it’s happened, but you are just what
he has needed.” Annie came over and gave me a hug, “thank you for helping my
friend.”
“You can call me Beth, so, where do we go from here?”
“Just keep on being nice to Hal, I’ll be here to help you if
you need anything.”
With that, Annie asked that I return in 2 hours for a final
fitting. I told Jeeves I was done, but Jeeves was a man with a mission, “Two
hours Madame? Good, we will still have time to find matching shoes.”
Back to Boulevard Mall. “I don’t suppose we could just stop
in Payless Shoes could we Jeeves?” Jeeves just shuddered and shook his head.
Fortunately, Macy’s was not beneath his notice and I knew from past experience
they often carried larger sized shoes. I wound up with a pair of rather
elegant strappy black sandals with a modest 1-½ inch heel, and a pair of silver
pumps, and, thanks to good ole Jeeves matching handbags.
I still had half an hour before Annie was expecting me.
Jeeves kindly stopped at a Catherine’s, and I was able to pick up some casual
clothes for Friday, and a black slip for tomorrow’s reception.
Back to Gowns R Us. Annie was as good as her word. I don’t
know how, but they had managed to get both dresses completed in that two-hour
period. I hadn’t planned on it, but Annie had matching underwear for both
dresses selected. The platinum dress fit perfectly, the black one however
needed some minor alteration. I could sense that Annie was fit to be tied!
She had confidently expected both to be perfect. Jeeves waved his Master Card;
Annie smiled, and promised the black gown would be delivered first thing in the
morning. Jeeves collected the platinum set, and once more we headed back to
the Excalibur.
I noticed something. As Jeeves drove, he spoke of Hal’s
company, and of the relationship Hal and Kate had with each other and with the
people who worked for him. It really seemed to be more of a family atmosphere
the way Jeeves spoke of how he and the other employees related to Hal and
Kate. He seemed genuinely distressed over the way Kate had disappeared, and
terribly relieved when I just happened to reappear today. He ignored my
protests, and my lack of memory of things I should have known. I suppose he
attributed it to my recent “ordeal.”
When I arrived, I found a large bouquet of roses had been
delivered to my room. After depositing everything in my closet, Jeeves left,
and I collapsed onto the bed. Half an hour later, the phone rang, waking me
from a well-deserved nap. It was the hotel salon, Kristina’s reminding me I
had an appointment at 5:30 for a complete makeover – and did I wish to come to
the salon or would I rather they came to my room? Hal again, it had to be
him. I looked at the clock, saw I barely had time for a shower and asked that
they come to my room. I jumped up, quickly threw my clothes off into the closet,
and ran to the shower. Yeah, I know, I’d prefer a bath, but there simply
wasn’t time. I ran a razor over my legs, and then closely shaved my face. I
had barely pulled my clothes on when I heard the knocking at the door. Opening
it, I saw Tracy from the salon; Tracy was the one who did my nails that
morning, pushing a cart laden with cosmetics.
“Hi Beth,” she said. “I didn’t know you had scheduled a
makeover this morning, we could have done everything this morning!” I told her
it was a sudden impulse and that I had a rather elegant reception to attend
that night. I won’t go into details, but after looking at the platinum gown Tracy
worked her magic, and by 6:45 had completely changed my look. I was astonished
at how nice, actually how beautiful I looked. I praised her work, added a
large tip (obviously Hal could afford it), and made a reservation with her for
the following evening’s reception.
I took a few moments to admire the roses, and for the first
time noticed the card. It was a simple white note card: “Thanks for bringing
beauty back into my life – Hal.” I sighed. I picked up the phone and called
home. Linda answered, and I told her a little of my experiences with Alice,
the Mad Hatter, and the rest of the inmates on this side of the Looking Glass.
Linda just laughed, and said, “That’s what happens when you get what you wish
for!” I asked her to give our kids, Timmy and Lisa, a kiss good night for me,
as I would be out late. Looking at the clock, I told her I loved her, and hung
up the phone.
A minute later at precisely 7:00 I heard a knocking at the
door. When I opened it, there was Hal. His eyes bulged out as his gaze swept
from head to toe. “Lord, you’re beautiful! Thank you so much for seeing me
this evening.” With that, he handed me a bouquet of white roses with baby’s
breath.
“Hal, don’t you think you’re overdoing it?” I asked, “I mean,
the flowers earlier were nice. And these are gorgeous, but geez, the flowers,
the jewelry, and the shopping? I think I could have done just as well with a
simple black dress from Catherine’s or the Avenue. Do you have ANY idea what
this has cost?”
Again, with the goofy look. “Kate, I don’t care about the
money. I just wanted to see you as I remembered. And seeing you here, now, has
made it well worth the cost.”
“Hal,” I gently said, “remember who and what I am. When we
leave this room, I’ll pretend to be Kate. But you need to know that I’m not
her. I’m a man, I’ve always felt I should have been born a woman, I love to
spend time as a woman, but I am a man. I’ve a wife and 2 kids I love more than
anything in life. You seem to be a good man. Certainly the way Jeeves speaks
of you would indicate it. I’ve had a wonderful day, shopping in a way I never
possibly could. I’ll spend the rest of the week with you, as Kate, but please,
please remember who and what I am when we get to the end of the day.”
Hal just smiled, bent over and kissed my hand “whatever you
say, my dear. Can I help you with your wrap?” It’s hard to sigh, tingle at
the touch of his lips, and shudder at the predicament I found myself in, I
suppose I probably looked like a dog shaking off water.
“Yes, thank you.” He held out the duster, and I slipped my
arms in. Picking up my handbag, I took his arm as he led me out the door.
‘Somewhat like a lamb to slaughter’ I thought to myself. “What’s this about a
reception tonight” I asked, “I thought we were just going to dinner and discuss
the rest of the week.”
“Well, I sort of forgot about the reception this morning,
what with passing out and everything” he explained with that same damned
twinkle in his eye. “It’s really no big deal, just 30 or so senior managers
for dinner and a little announcement.”
“I keep wondering when I’m going to see a large White Rabbit
looking at his pocket watch.”
“What do you mean,” he said.
“All through the day I’ve felt like Alice falling through
the Looking Glass. You have to admit; from where I sit things have been really
strange. I’m not sure if you are who you say, or the Mad Hatter about to throw
an unbirthday party for me.” Hal just laughed.
When we reached the entrance to Excalibur, Jeeves was there
with the car. “Where are we going?” I asked.
“To the Venetian, I’ve reservations at Emeril’s restaurant
there.”
“Isn’t that the Delmonico Steakhouse?”
“Yes, it’s fancy enough for a party, and the food is great!”
The ride to the Venetian passed in gentle banter back and
forth about Comdex, the Las Vegas Strip, and Emeril’s TV show. It turned out
that Hal was something of a chef wannabe who avidly watched Emeril Live! whenever
he could spare the time. Me, I’m more a beans and franks kind of cook, I cook
well, but I use prepared foods most of the time.
If you’ve never been to the Venetian, I feel sorry for you.
Words like elegant, awe-inspiring, magnificent, etc… simply do not do justice.
Jeeves dropped us off at the main entrance, and we entered another world, and
another time. We walked in and turned toward the casino floor. On our left
was the Guggenheim Museum of Las Vegas. A joint project between the Museum and
the Casino, it showcased original works of art. Only in Las Vegas could
something like this exist. Gold everywhere. Throughout the resort complex you
could see art reproductions from the time of Michelangelo and Di Vinci, and a
staff whose courtesy has to be experienced to be believed.
Dinner was superb, traditional American fare with a Cajun
overlay is the specialty of the Delmonico. Reservations had been made for 28,
someone didn’t show up. I chose a petite filet mignon, which considering the
situation I thought appropriate. It wasn’t until much later that I discovered
Kate was no stranger to eating. Throughout dinner, person after person came up
to me and told me just how grateful they were that I had survived the
“accident.” The sense of love and family were evident in the way the entire
party treated one another.
Throughout dinner, Hal was attentive to my every word. I
mentioned the sense of family, and he gave me a rueful smile. “You know it’s
your entire fault Kate,” he said, obviously speaking for those around us. “Do
you realize that of the 27 people here, 23 of them work for us? That’s 11
couples in the senior management team that work for the company. You seem to
have a positive knack as a recruiting matchmaker!”
‘Oh ho,’ I thought, ‘Kate must have had more than just
technical ability on her mind with recruiting.’
After dinner, the 27 of us trooped across the hall to one of
the Venetian function rooms. I chanced to remark to Hal that next time I was
staying here. I just couldn’t believe how opulent the entire hotel and casino
complex was.
I excused myself for a minute and made my way to the ladies
room. The place absolutely screamed “money.” The fixtures were all marble and
gold. I took care of business, and fixed my makeup. Joining Hal at the head
table I encountered that look I was learning to be frightened of. That
mischievous gleam that indicated something was up. I nearly ran back to the
bathroom to see if I’d stumbled through the looking glass one more time.
The hotel staff had provided wine and snack foods. The
meeting began to more resemble a party than a senior management team meeting.
I knew Hal had more money than sense, but after his presentation of the last
year’s profit and loss statement I began to understand just how little Hal
cared about the money he had spent today. Someone proposed a toast to the
company. Then someone toasted Hal. Then Jeeves got up the nerve and toasted
my “return.” I fear I blushed rather more brightly than I would have cared
to. Someone started gently tapping on his wine glass with a spoon, and then
others joined in. I looked at Hal with a resigned sigh as he reached over and
kissed me.
‘Back to weirdness central’ I thought, but the sensation of
his kissing me was all together different than I was expecting. It was just
the gentlest of kisses, hardly more romantic than kissing your mother. But I
was on the receiving end, and to my surprise, I rather enjoyed it – or maybe it
was just the attention I was getting. A bride at her wedding could hardly have
been more the center of attention. We separated, and the toasts went on, there
must have been a dozen of them, each one with a little more wine.
Hal made one more announcement. “As you know, we
traditionally give away a cruise every year at Comdex to some deserving
individual.” Laughter welled up around us. “This is done by not-so-secret
ballot. I would like to announce that you all have chosen Ted Bisset, from our
quality control division.” More applause and laughter as Ted stood and
acknowledged the reward.
By 10:00 I was more than slightly tipsy. I asked Hal how
late the party would last. He just smiled and assured me I would be back in my
room before I turned into a pumpkin. He turned to the rest of our guests and
offered one final toast – to me. I smiled, hoping I would finally be getting
to the end of the day’s weirdness. After the toast the tinkling of silverware
on glass again gave Hal the opportunity to kiss me. Perhaps it was the wine,
but this one went on a little longer, and was nowhere near as chaste as the
previous one. I could feel his breath, smell his aftershave, and allowed my
mouth to open a little to his advances. It was wonderful. Then of course I
remembered who I was, where I was, and went back into panic mode. Hal just
smiled that infuriating smile, and gently wrapped his arms around me in a quick
embrace.
We thanked everyone for coming, and then left the function
room. We turned and took an escalator to the second floor, and from there, an
elevator to the 11th floor. It was just Hal and I walking down the
luxuriously carpeted hall. About halfway down, he produced a key card and
opened the door to one of the Piazza suites. “What’s this,” I asked.
“It’s a hotel room. As a matter of fact it’s your hotel
room,” he replied.
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, when you said you’d like to stay here I just sort of
made it happen. While you were in the ladies room I called Annie at Gowns R Us
and asked a favor of her. Check out the closets,” again with that smile.
“How do you know Annie?” I really wanted to check on what
Annie had told me.
“Annie used to work for Kate. She developed an idea for
using computers in manufacturing women’s clothing. Kate and I financed the
project, and Annie’s our partner in the venture. Kate’s gone to her many
times, and I arranged for today’s shopping before my nap. Annie would do
anything to keep Kate and I happy. I just asked her to deliver some things to
make your life easier.
I opened the closet and found a modest collection of clothes
that I knew had to be in my size. In the bathroom was a tasteful selection of
cosmetics. And in the dresser drawers were the undergarments to go along with
the rest. Before I could turn and start yelling at Hal someone knocked on the
door. It was a bellman with my luggage from the Excalibur. Hal grinned,
tipped him and turned back to me.
“You bastard! What right do you have to run my life like it
was your play toy? I was fine at the Excalibur, and yes, I did say I want to
stay here sometime. But that would be with my wife! Think carefully Hal. If
you want me to be Kate for the rest of the week then you had better damn well
remember your agreement. Remember who I am!” I stepped towards him, to slap a
little sense into him. Instead, I tripped. Heels, even modest ones, can reach
out and bite you at just the wrong instant. And remember Hal? He caught me
and helped me gently to a chair.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “I really was only trying to make you
happy. I would have done the same for Kate, and I thought you would appreciate
it.” Then his tears began again, softly, and it became clear he was a man
unable to come to grips with the loss of a beloved companion and partner, as
well as wife.
“I only look like her Hal. I would never really be able to
replace her. Did you and Kate have any kids,” I asked. He shook his head no.
I changed the subject and asked what time I needed to be to
the Convention Center. He told me 8:30, and that appropriate credentials would
be delivered first thing in the morning. I kicked off my shoes, and walked
him to the door. “Where are you staying,” I asked.
“Here, I’ve the suite next door. Will you join me for
breakfast at say 7:30?”
I sighed and agreed, and suggested room service. “I’ll see
you in the morning,” I said.
Before I could react, Hal took me in his arms and kissed me
goodnight. I really was too tired to fight, and too tipsy to argue anymore.
Besides, he really was a good kisser.
Hal left, and I discovered the zipper on the back of my
dress was stuck. I opened the door, and called out to Hal as he was entering
his room. “Uh, could you give me a hand?” Hal returned, and I explained the
problem, and that I didn’t want to damage the dress – it was simply too
beautiful.
“So are you,” he said.
Damn him, he did that twisted grin again. I turned my back,
and Hal carefully worked the zipper down, and I was about to turn and thank him
when he leaned over and kissed the back of my neck and shoulders.
“Hal!”
“Sorry, I couldn’t resist,” he grinned and turned towards
the door. “Is there any other service I can provide Madame?”
Growling, I advanced on him, holding the dress in place to
preserve what little dignity I had left. Hal wisely chose discretion and fled
before I got to the door.
I hung the dress in the closet, removed my clothes and
grabbed a nightgown out of the drawer – I wouldn’t admit it to Hal, but the
clothes were a distinct cut above what I normally wore. The nightgown felt and
looked to be genuine silk, what’s more, it reached my ankles. Usually I find
with nightgowns I’m lucky if they reach past my knees. I washed up and
moisturized my face. I unpacked my suitcases and noted that whoever gathered
them up had been very careful. With the receipts from the Excalibur was a note
from Sue, remember Sue? She left her number and asked that I call her whenever
I got in.
I dialed her number, and she answered right away. “Do you
know who that man was from last night” she asked. “That was Hal Stevens! Hon,
I don’t know why, but he was out looking for you all night.”
“Slow down Sue, I know, he found me. You simply would NOT
believe the day I’ve had.”
“Oh my gosh, you’ve got to tell me all about it. Do you
have any idea how rich he is?”
“Uh, actually, yes, he took me to the annual profit and loss
party tonight.”
Silence greeted me from the other end of the phone. “Beth,
that’s not even funny. Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds?”
“Sue, honest, I’d love to tell you all about it. I started
this morning at the Excalibur, and now I’m at the Venetian, and you could not
begin to believe how weird this day has been.”
“You’re at the Venetian? What room?
When will I learn to keep my mouth shut? “1135.”
“I’m on my way!” The phone clicked as Sue hung up. Damn.
I looked in the closet and found a robe that matched the nightgown. I grabbed
a bra and put my breast forms back on. I slipped the nightgown on, then the
robe and tied both ties closed. I put on a pair of slippers, poured a glass of
wine and tried to relax, waiting for the inevitable.
About twenty minutes later, Sue arrived. She was carrying a
briefcase. I offered her a glass of wine, and explained I really needed go to
bed. I told her I would be working at Comdex tomorrow. She pulled out a copy
of Forbes and showed me a picture of Hal and Kate. “That’s why he was shocked
when he saw you Beth; he thought you were Kate, his dead wife.”
Now I had enjoyed chili, beer, and conversation the night
before with Sue, but I hadn’t noticed till now how hard it was to get a word in
edgewise. “Sue, slow down. I already know. Now do you want to hear what
happened or not?” So I began…. The manicure in the morning, Hal finding me at
breakfast. The passing out at my table, and my taking him to my room. His
passing out again. Our conversation. His passing out again, and finally my
agreeing to pose as Kate for the rest of the week. The shopping trip, the
makeover, and the dinner. His moving me to the Venetian and my plans for the
next two days. I told her pretty much everything, except my true gender.
Now I know Sue is pretty bright. But it wasn’t till I
started showing her the results of shopping that she began to believe. The
ring put it over the edge. I had avoided knowing what the ring cost. Sue
about fainted when I told her it was an ideal cut, flawless diamond that was
just over 3 carats. “Hon, do you have any idea what a stone like that is
worth?”
“No,” I replied.
“Well hold on to yourself, but if it was less than
$100,000.00 I would be very surprised.”
Sue looked at the ring again, she told me how beautiful it
was, and then she asked about the wedding band. I hadn’t paid much attention;
I chose it because it was a matched set. The engagement ring was a round
solitaire; the wedding band had a number of diamonds in what Sue told me was a
channel setting. “Beth, you’re probably wearing two year’s salary on that
finger. Was there any other jewelry?” I told her yes, he’d also had Jeeves
purchase a matching bracelet and necklace.
“Jeeves? Now I know you’ve got to be telling the truth, no
one would make up a name like that. What do you plan to do?”
“Well, I promised I’d be Kate this week, and I always keep
my promises. I just hope he’ll let me go back to being Beth after the week is
done.” I again told Sue I needed to get to sleep, and she finally left after
making me promise to tell all. She also asked if I could get her invited to
the banquet Thursday evening. I said I thought I probably could.
Sue gave me a hug, and left. I called the front desk and
requested a 5:30 wake up call. It had definitely been the weirdest day of my
life, and tomorrow looked to be more of the same.
Wednesday
The phone rang. It was my wakeup call. I moaned and rolled
out of bed. For a moment, I forgot where I was. Then it hit me. Comdex, Hal,
Kate, and working the rest of the week as a woman. I smiled as I gazed at the
rings on my finger. It was hard to believe how beautiful they were, and how
incredibly expensive. I picked up the Forbes magazine Sue had left the night
before and went into the bathroom to relieve myself. I had no idea that Hal’s
company was in the top 50 technology stocks on the Dow Jones. His estimated
income absolutely stunned me.
I showered, shaved (lots of places this morning), and
powdered myself dry. I knew I’d never do my makeup as well as Tracy did the
night before, so I settled on a subdued business look for the day. After
brushing it out, I pulled my hair back into a loose ponytail. I opened the
closet to select what I would wear for the day. Fortunately, Annie had
included a couple of black suits. I pulled on my underwear and nylons,
selected a crisp white blouse, pulled on the skirt and slipped into a pair of
black kid-glove pumps. I don’t know how Annie did it, but everything fit
perfectly. A final spritz of Chanel and I was ready for the day.
At seven, I called home. The kids were just getting ready
to leave for school, and Linda was going nuts trying to get them out the door.
I told her all about last night, and asked if she could take off work and join
me – I really needed her moral support. Linda is wonderful. She has only one
serious fault. When I’m down and floundering through my own actions,
especially when it’s at all humorous, she can’t even begin to do anything but
laugh. Once, it nearly caused us to break up. I thought she was laughing at
me. Instead, she was laughing with me. Perhaps a subtle difference, but I
understood when all the answer I received was laughing. For probably 30
seconds I endured her laughter, and as so often in the past, I began laughing
with her.
“Hon, you got yourself into this mess. I can only say I’m
glad you’re profiting by it,” then she was laughing again, “I don’t think I can
get away, but I’ll ask. Do you suppose your mom will take the kids?”
I told her “promise her ANYTHING, I need you!” After a few
more minutes of more mundane conversation on things like how the kids were doing
at school, I told her I loved her, and hung up the phone. I called down to
room service and ordered the “All-American” breakfast for two.
At 7:30 I answered the door to find Hal in a business suit.
“Have you ordered breakfast yet?”
“Yes, it should be here any time.” We sat down at the table
and Hal pulled a thick envelope out of his inside coat pocket.
“Here,” he said, “this should be all you need for the next
few days. I had my attorney courier it here yesterday evening.”
I opened the envelope and nearly passed out. There was a
Massachusetts Drivers License with what looked like my picture on it.
Katherine Elayne Stevens. There were also a few credit cards, some business
cards, a social security card, U.S. Passport, checkbook, and a PADI dive card.
What struck me most of all were the concealed weapons permits. Massachusetts
is one of the most restrictive states for weapons permits. However, from the
permit itself, it seemed that Kate had “carried” for almost twenty years. Even
more difficult to obtain was the Federal concealed weapons permit. From his
other pocket Hal handed over a Comdex exhibitor badge that simply said Kate
Stevens, Vice President Employee Relations, Cendar Corporation.
“Hal, isn’t this a bit more than I need?”
“Not really Kate, All I’m giving you is just what’s yours.
Well, Kate’s anyway. Gosh this gets confusing. I’m sorry Beth, but I’m having
a hard time keeping the two of you straight in my head.” Hal noticed the
Forbes article, “So, what do you think of Cendar and Hal Stevens now that you
know him personally?”
“Hal the man is spoken well of by his employees – but you
probably already know that. Hal the husband of Kate seems to be head over
heels in love and unable to resolve the issue of her death. Hal the man who is
responsible for the weirdest day in my life is still an enigma. I think we
could become friends, maybe very good friends. But, only when he realizes that
I can never bring Kate back, nor could I ever replace her.”
Hal pulled another item out of his coat, he handed me a
small jewelry box. Inside was a pearl necklace and earrings. “I knew you’d
choose a black skirt and jacket, and I thought pearls would set it off nicely.”
“Hal, I shouldn’t accept this. You’ve already entrusted me
with far too many dollars worth of jewelry. I hope you can get your money back
when I go back to being me.”
“Kate, Beth, or John, I’ve no intention of returning them.
I gave them to you, and I do not take back gifts. Anything I’ve spent, I’ve
spent of my own free will, and have given them to you to make me feel better,
and to make you more like Kate. Get used to it. I did it all the time for
Kate, and I’m not about to change that for the person substituting for Kate.
Besides,” ‘here it comes’ I thought, ‘he’s got that evil grin again,’ “they
are beautiful on you.”
With that, he came over and pulled me to my feet. “Kate,
I’m going to kiss you, please let me.” With that he pulled me into his arms and
gently kissed me on the lips. ‘Why not,’ I thought, ‘he’ll be kissing me in
public for the next few days.’
And for the first time, I let him kiss me and kissed him in
return. This was no “sisterly” peck; I think for the moment, in his mind, I
truly was Kate. My arms wrapped around his neck, and my mouth opened to him.
His hands strayed down to my butt, and I could feel him gently kneading me
while his other hand drew me closer.
I don’t think it would have gone any further, but I was
profoundly grateful for the knock on the door and the call of “room service.”
I answered the door, while Hal wiped lipstick off his face. We sat and ate our
breakfast in silence, neither of us wanting to spoil the moment. Afterwards,
Hal opened the jewelry box, took out the two-stranded necklace and fastened it
around my neck. I removed my diamond studs and placed the pearls in my ears.
Hal smiled and said, “They were beautiful when I bought them, but they are even
more beautiful when you are wearing them.” Then he reached down and kissed me
briefly before pulling me to my feet and urging me out the door. “Wait,” I
said, “I want to drop my diamonds off in the hotel safe.” Hal chuckled when he
heard me say “my diamonds” and led the way to the hotel lobby.
After dropping off the diamonds, we met Jeeves outside and
rode to the Convention Center. “What are my duties Hal,” I asked.
“Actually, amongst other things, you’re our corporate
“headhunter,” I expect you’ll meet a lot of people interested in working for
Cendar. There’s a standard set of interview questions you can ask candidates.
Just take notes, and write down your impressions.”
“What kind of job openings do we have?”
“The largest number is for people with UNIX experience,
particularly HP-UX. That was one of the factors that led me to ask you to fill
in. Kate always handled initial interviews, and had an uncanny knack for
finding individuals who would fit into our family.”
“Hal, this is going to be easier than I expected. I’ve done
a lot of interviewing and hiring over the last 5 years, and I think you’ll be
pleased.”
“Kate, you’ve always pleased me….”
Serious weirdness again, now he’s losing track that I’m not
Kate. Perhaps I’m not through wandering through the Looking Glass.
Having someone drive for you is a MAJOR benefit with
something like Comdex. Jeeves dropped us off, and we entered the main hall.
Cendar’s booth was impressive. It was a mixture of product hype and small
conversational areas. Hal escorted me to an office area on the second floor of
the booth, and told me to get comfortable. He came back a few minutes later
with an expensive looking leather briefcase. “This was Kate’s, so now it’s
yours,” he smiled as he gave it to me. “Inside are a few things to make your
job easier. I opened it, and noticed a Sony Vaio notebook computer, and a device
that looked like a cross between a tape recorder and a digital recorder. Hal
noticed my puzzled look, “that’s a voice stress analyzer, It gives you a high
level of confidence when someone is telling the truth. We try to record all
interviews, and we ask all candidates for permission before we start. It is
not a condition of employment, but my feeling is if the candidate is unwilling,
there may be something hidden that we need to know. In that case, if the
candidate is in the running for the job, we hire a firm to do a complete
background check. For those, the turn-around time is 4 hours for a
preliminary, and 2 weeks for the complete report.”
Hal started his evil twisted grin, “would you like to see
your preliminary report?”
I was floored. He handed a manila envelope to me, and I
opened it to find copies of my latest tax return, my college and graduate
school transcripts, a complete listing of my previous employment, a note from
the Defense Investigative Agency that I’d had a Federal security clearance at
one time, but that it had lapsed, and a myriad of other pieces of information I
thought were somewhat secure. “All this in 4 hours?”
“Well, they actually did this one overnight. I was certain
it would be clean, but I owe it to my employees to be careful. I can’t let my
heart run away and ruin other people who are dear to me.” With that he pulled
two more manila envelopes out and handed them to me. “This is what a complete
report looks like. I thought it might help you understand Kate and I better.”
The report was labeled “Katherine Elayne Stevens,” the
second “Harold Thomas Stevens.” Where mine was the best part of 50 pages, these
were books, very thick books. “Hal, you don’t have to do this. I don’t want
to pry into your life, and no one voiced any questions last night, did they?”
“Well, yes. Bill Thompson and his wife Debbie asked why you
didn’t seem to remember them. They accepted the story of some memory loss, but
they were still asking questions. That report goes into far more detail than
normal. It also includes all the personal information the investigators could
get from the sources. I was one of the sources,” he said with a sad smile. The
first hundred and fifty or so pages are the full report from the agency, the
remainder was added a couple of years ago to supplement, and serve as a source
of information for our eventual biographies. Also, I am digging into your
life, and it is only fair that you have the information on mine.”
”Anyway, here are the interview forms, and an instruction manual on the
recorder, why don’t I leave you to review them. I don’t expect any applicants
until after 10:00. That gives you a bit more than an hour. When Abbey gets
here, I’ll bring her up and introduce you to her. She’s your personal assistant,”
he said, “maybe you ought to read that portion of the report first?” And again
his twisted grin. I thought to myself ‘does he even know how that grin drives
me crazy? How to I tell him how infuriating it is?’
“Hal, do you know how infuriating you can be? And that grin
of yours just makes it worse.”
“Kate always said the same thing,” he said grinning, “I’ll
see you later, please keep those reports safe,” then he left me with a kiss.
The reports made interesting reading. I started with Abbey.
It was clear we were complete opposites. Where I was tall and fat, Abbey was
petite, almost tiny and 5 foot even. Where I was dark haired, she was
startlingly blonde, almost platinum. And at 24 years old, I was certain we
would have little in common.
She arrived at 9:30, and her report did little to reveal her
personality. She was so friendly and bubbly it was hard not to immediately
like her. I couldn’t help but think of a skittish, frolicking colt. But she
was also extremely efficient, and took Kate’s return in stride. I didn’t know
who was originally scheduled to handle the interviews, but Abbey laid out the
day in a way that made it productive without becoming too intense. One
interview after another can quickly wear you down. I was glad to see that
Abbey tried to squeeze some time in for me to take in some of the show.
Throughout that morning, I conducted 3 interviews. Each of
the candidates brought strengths and weaknesses to the table. I found the
voice stress analyzer helpful, but not critical.
The second candidate was a recent female graduate from USC.
Janie Roberts seemed to have everything Cendar required. In addition to her BS
(Bachelor of Science) she actually had a complete HP Systems Administrator
Education track. The only problem was that she was a geek. She was a
computer GEEK, all in capital letters, with underlining, italics, and bold
facing. She also seemed extraordinarily shy. I asked what her goals were,
and what she expected of Cendar.
“Ms. Stevens, I’m looking for a company that will take me at
face value. I know my computer skills are top notch. If I were willing to
fight the rat race in Silicon Valley, I’d make $150 K a year easily. I’m
applying to Cendar, hoping to find a soul mate; a male who will value me for
who and what I am.” At that she blushed, “uh, do you understand?”
I would be a churlish cur if I’d giggled, as was my first
response. I giggled instead (so I told myself) at the memory of Kate’s
reputation as a matchmaker. “Yes Janie, I do understand.” I cherished the
fire in her innermost being. “I don’t know everything about tomorrow’s
banquet, but would you be available?” I asked. Janie accepted.
About 11:30 Hal showed up and invited me to lunch. He
suggested Spago’s at Caesar’s Palace. We split a spicy chicken pizza, and
returned to Comdex.
The afternoon was split between interviews and visiting the
booths of other companies. It was an interesting contrast. Monday I had
visited as Beth, today as the Mrs. part of Mr. and Mrs. Hal Stevens my
treatment was spectacularly different. The red carpet was certainly rolled
out, and I had the opportunity to meet several CEO’s, and many senior VP’s. I
know it’s silly, but I took inordinate pleasure in the trinkets I was given by
these various companies. I think my favorite was a heavy gold-filled pen that
also contained a stylus for my PDA and a pencil.
At 5:00 I finished up my last interview of the day, Jeeves
picked us up and we returned to the Venetian. I was looking forward to a relaxing
evening. Hal had other plans. He suggested taking in a show, and hinted he
had “connections,” and asked what show I would like to see. I suspected his
“connections” were dead presidents in large denominations. I mentioned I
hadn’t seen Mystère by Cirque du Soleil and asked if his “connections” would
extend to that show.
“No problem, my dear,” he said; “and for dinner?”
“Whatever, something at the same resort maybe?”
“Certainly, can you be ready by 6:00?”
“Sure, a bit more casual than last night?”
“Whatever you’d like, I’ll see you then.”
I kicked off my shoes and flopped down on the bed. I called
home, and Linda answered the phone. “Hi honey, I’m home,” I joked.
“Well Miss Alice, how are things on the other side of the
looking glass?” Her sense of humor would be the death of me yet. She just
giggled into the phone.
“Not bad, I’ve a Platinum Visa that could buy our house
without stressing the credit limit, a driver’s license with a picture of a
woman that looks like my identical twin, a man who can’t separate me from his
dead wife in his own mind, a dress maker that thinks I’m wonderful because I’m
helping HER old friend, and a brand new string of pearls that are simply
humongous. Did you talk to my mom? How are Timmy and Lisa? Can you get away
tomorrow or Friday? Please!! I buy you anything; I’ll take you anywhere. Can
you jump through the looking glass and join me?”
“Why Miss Alice, I do believe you want me.”
“Oh geez, hon, you’ve NO idea how much I want you, I need
you here, I’ve no idea how I’m going to escape the Mad Hatter and his company.”
“Well, I don’t know….” Linda teased.
“Okay, what will it cost?” I asked.
“Well, your mom wants a new Porsche, Timmy wants a new baby
brother, and Lisa wants a pony. Me, I’ll settle for your new pearls.” Then
she started laughing again.
“Honey, Please!”
“I’ll call and make a reservation for tomorrow. The office
was great, and said it would be no problem to take Thursday and Friday off. Do
you think I should fly out of Los Angeles or Ontario?”
“Uh, how about Corona?”
“Corona? There’s no commercial service in Corona.”
“Actually, I thought I’d see if Hal would send the corporate
jet.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Suddenly Linda wasn’t laughing.
“No,” and then I started to laugh. “Welcome to my world.
It’s a short hop, so I doubt they’ll serve a meal, but would you prefer Godiva
or Ethel M. chocolates for a snack?”
“This I’ve got to see. What time should I be at the
airport?”
“I’ll check, but I’ll try to have the plane there by 10:00 in the morning. Thanks hon. I need to go, Hal is picking me up for dinner and a
show in a little bit, and I’ve got to get ready.”
“Really, what show are you seeing?”
“We’re seeing Mystère by Cirque du Soleil. It’s playing at Treasure
Island. Listen, I’ve got to run, give the kids a kiss and tell them to be good
for grandma.”
“Okay babe, hang in there, I’ll bring a breathe of sanity
back to your life tomorrow. See you soon!”
I changed into a soft light blue sweater and a denim skirt.
That and a pair of flats were as dressy as I was willing to go tonight. I
grabbed a white cardigan. I dropped the pearls off at the hotel safe, and
selected a gold locket that I’d always loved. It contained miniature pictures
of Linda and the kids. I needed the reassurance of their presence. Hal was
punctual; I swear you could set a clock by him. A final spritz of perfume and
it was out the door.
Hal took me downstairs for dinner at Lutèce’s, the French
restaurant at the Venetian. “I hope you don’t mind, I’ve wanted to try Lutèce’s
and the concierge was able to make reservations for 6:15.”
“I don’t mind, but no escargot if you please. Wow!” I said,
looking out over the Grand Canal, “the view is spectacular. Are those real
gondolas?”
“Yes, would you like to ride one after dinner?”
“Hmmm, that might be nice.”
The maître d' seated us at a balcony table overlooking the
gondolas circling the Grand Canal. I selected the Black Angus sirloin with
potato "au four", and a crispy salad with maitake mushrooms. Hal
chose the casoulette – a dish containing duck, lamb, ham, and several varieties
of beans. Hal told me it was the forerunner of American casseroles, and a
favorite of his. We enjoyed our dinner with a nice bottle of Chianti. For
dessert, I selected canoli, a favorite I seldom seem to find.
After dinner, we stepped out to the Grand Canal, and Hal
purchased tickets for us. Hal stepped in then the gondolier helped me down
into the gondola. It was at that point I realized, the only way to ride was snuggled
close to Hal. He wrapped his arm around me, and I snuggled close as we began
our “graceful and romantic glide down the Grand Canal in an authentic Venetian
gondola.” Our gondolier sang romantic Italian ballads as he propelled the
gondola. It was romantic, and I couldn’t help but feel safe and secure in
Hal’s arms. We spoke of little things, chatted about nothing really; we simply
enjoyed the night, the ride, and our closeness.
What a contrast that was to Mystère by Cirque du Soleil.
One was quiet, the other raucous. The gondola was romantic, the circus
hysterically funny.
Afterwards, we stopped and shared a sundae at Haagen-Dazs in
the Grand Canal Shoppes at the Venetian. I thoroughly enjoyed my evening with
Hal. It was the first time I’d been on a date as a woman; it was hard to
believe just how much fun I’d had. Hal surprised me with his wit, his humor,
and his ability to make me feel special – without spending a ton of money. The
day before he tried to please me by spending money; this time he made our time
special by focusing on me. I loved it – but it was disconcerting.
It was a little after midnight when I returned to my room.
Hal kissed me at the door, long and languorous, I found myself responding to
his kisses in way I’d never expected. It was with both regret and relief when
the kiss ended, and I entered the sanctuary of my room.
Thursday
At breakfast I asked Hal if he could send the corporate jet
to pick up Linda, my wife. For just a moment he looked confused, then grudgingly
(it seemed) granted permission. That deserved a kiss, which brought the
confused look back to his face; this time with a smile.
“Thanks Hal, you have no idea how confusing this whole thing
has been for me. Could she also attend the dinner tonight?”
“In for a penny, in for a pound,” he shrugged; “have her go
see Annie for something special to wear.”
I called Jeeves and asked him to make the arrangements for
me. I told him that the lady being picked up was very special too me, and
asked that he take special care of her. I also asked that he be sure the jet
was stocked with Godiva and Ethel M chocolates, and a dozen long stem red
roses. What he thought of all this I’m sure I don’t know. He was however, his
usual efficient self.
Next, I called Annie, explained that Linda would be coming
in to see her and asked that she treat her like she would me. I told her it
was important to me that Linda be able to attend the banquet tonight, and that
Annie should help her pick out something that would make her look and feel
special. The only condition I asked was that her dress not be black, I’ve
never liked black on Linda, and wanted Annie to accommodate MY tastes as well
as Linda’s.
Annie assured me that all would be fine. Next, I called the
spa at the Venetian, and ordered the works for Linda. On the way out, I
stopped at the front desk and requested a key to my room be made ready for
Linda when she arrived.
Later I learned that Hal had made his own arrangements. His
instructions to Jeeves were to treat Linda like a royal princess. Her every
whim was to be catered to.
Linda had no idea what was coming her way, and I laughed all
the way to Comdex at how she would react to falling down the rabbit hole to
Looking Glass Land.
Abbey had my appointments scheduled, and it looked like
today would be extremely busy. There were 3 interviews in the morning and 4 in
the afternoon.
Jack Mooney was the first. I liked him the moment I met
him. There was a quiet competency about him that suggested his resume was
understated if anything. He was married, with 3 children. Currently lived in
the Seattle area, but hoped to move back to New England to be near his wife’s
family. His professional certifications were all top notch, and I asked if he
was free that evening. “Could you and your wife possibly attend our company
banquet?” I asked. He seemed genuinely flattered, and assured me they would be
there. I suggested if he needed a tuxedo, to see the concierge at the
Venetian, give that notable my name, and ask that he adequately clothe him.
Then, inspiration struck. “Jack, could your wife visit a boutique I could
recommend?”
He looked a bit uncertain, and then said he would ask her.
“I guarantee if you take her to “Gowns R Us” and ask for
Annie, she will be treated like a princess. And Jack, this one is on Cendar
also.” And I just smiled.
The next two interviews went predictably, but neither of
the candidates really had the personalities I was actually looking for. They
just didn’t seem like they would be able to fit into the corporate family I was
beginning to understand.
Abbey and I had a quiet lunch, at one of the concession
stands. She was fun to watch, constantly eyeing the men, and commenting on
their bodies. By the time we finished, I figured out that Abbey was really all
talk when it came to men, but Lordy how she could talk! Jeeves called, and
informed me Linda had arrived, they’d been to Gowns R Us and she was in the
hands of the Venetian spa staff. I just grinned and thanked him for his help.
The afternoon interviews were a repeat of the last two of
the morning. There was nothing spectacular or really interesting about any of
them, until the final interview of the day. His name was Hiram Jones. Tall
and gawky, he seemed to be much younger than his 28 years. His experience was
impressive, even though he’d only been in the work force for a few years. He
impressed me with his competency. The only reservation I had about him was how
quirky he seemed. We got to the end of the interview, and as usual, I asked if
he had any questions about Cendar. His question took me completely by
surprise.
“Is it true that you interview candidates with an eye for
matching them up with employees of the opposite sex?”
“Uh…” ‘not a very coherent response I thought.’ “Actually,
no. It does however work out that we look for people who will fit into
Cendar’s corporate climate. Naturally, with a similarity of thought and
outlook we have found many of our employees wind up finding their special
someone in the company. Why do you ask?”
“Well, basically, I’m a geek. I’ve never really developed a
lot of interpersonal skills, especially with women. I’d give anything to be in
an environment where I might have a better opportunity to meet someone who understands
that same things I do.”