The Change Is
Forever My Darling
By Lorraine B.
© 2003
All Rights
Reserved
I stood crying while holding my 9-month-old baby daughter in
my arms and my three almost four-year-old daughter's little hand as the urn
that contained human remains or ashes was placed into the crypt of the
mausoleum on our land. Many mourners of family and friends had come to pay
their last respects to the dead, as I was dressed all in black as prescribed as
western mourning attire from the three inch high heeled leather dress pumps to
my black fur coat, and veiled hat that I wore over my coiffed hair to the
simplistic gold jewelry I wore. My fiancé, sister, her fiancé, father, mother
and my children were at my sides as I cried even harder. It wasn't because I
mourned the loss of my mate but because I lost my manhood. Soon I wear white; I
will meet my fiancé at the altar and become his wife. I guess I had better back
up as I tell this traumatic story from my past and bring you up to date.
My name was William (Willie the Ferret) Carmody and I was
the best at what I did; I was a Burglar, not just any run of the mill burglar
but a Cat Burglar. I could lift the gold fillings from your teeth as you slept
in your bed. Hell I could make love to a man's wife as he slept next to her and
she would think it was her husband packing the salami to her. I could kiss a
man, making love to him and he'd think it was his wife. Electronic systems and
safes were no match for my skills of my chosen profession. Dogs loved me as I
fed them meat laced with a sedative to make them sleep for a few hours.
Everything I wore was dull black and my suit was a standard
ladies catsuit that fit my form made of stretch nylon without the shine and my
tight fitting nylon and underneath my latex gloves. To throw off anyone the
suspicion that night if they saw me it looked as if I was a woman as what I
wore underneath was nothing but female attire from the laced black panties,
padded panty, thigh high hose, to the black sport bra with the C cup silicone
and latex breast enhancers and my high top black aerobic shoes with the pink
trim and black laces, which was all my wife's idea to throw off the cops. (And
no I wasn't a transvestite!) You see I was a two-time Offender but not in my
chosen trade and she wanted me around and not be stuck with a Life Sentence in
the Joynt. In my adult years after I learned my trade I had never been caught
but if I was, the judge would see those convictions and I'd say goodbye for the
rest of my life.
We meaning my three helpers and I, Jake, Arnold and Tom had
hit the Mother Lode. In less than four hours and ten homes of Breaking and
Entering I estimated we had made an excellent haul of several million dollars
in artwork, jewels, gold and cash. I knew one house alone had a priceless
collection of Russian and Greek religious Icons that had an estimated value of
over several million dollars, somehow I even manage to net a Faberge Egg that
had once belonged to some Russian Czar and damn it was gorgeous. Who says that
thieves don't appreciate art? I know I do and the owner once did.
Each time I came out of a home with a load, a different car
was waiting with one of my partners driving it, parking it in an affluent
driveway of a home to avoid suspicion by the Bulls. If we had enough time in
casing the homes we'd note the color, year, make and models of the cars they
had so those cars could be in a driveway, again avoiding suspicion and silent
to the patrols that prowled.
After I cleaned out the last house, we were headed to what I
believed was Tom's farm, however we had to get rid of the cars first. I called
Madeleine my wife from a payphone on the way asking her to meet us there. That
entire night of joy was to become my only mistake of my career. For that
mistake I received a Life Sentence in the way of a change in lifestyle forever.
For that mistake it became a night of horror and absolute terror, for me.
All the cars we had used were all wiped clean and cleansed
of evidence. The vehicles were then dumped in various locations that we knew
were infested by street gangs and car thieves or those looking for bargain car
parts, like free. We just knew they'd be picked clean for their parts as our
van followed very far behind with our haul of ill gotten gains.
It was dark in the early morning hours when we got rid of
the last car. Before we got rid of the first car I had changed to cover up the
Catsuit, again putting on all female attire, just a pair of blue jeans that
zippered at the legs and sides that had small red bows at where the zippers
began that ran up the leg, a blue chambray oversized shirt and red, two-inch
heeled, leather, ankle strapped pumps. I added a dark red leather, waist length
jacket, brushed out my long auburn hair that reach the middle of my back,
placing my hair into a ponytail that was in a bun underneath my knit watch cap
I wore earlier. I added gold studs to the two holes in each ear, added my
makeup and red lipstick after taking off the dull black makeup that hid my
face, kept my skin from shining and to blend into the night.
"Damn Willie, I'd drill you now if I didn't know who
you were, you’re a man's wet dream. The worst part is you look like Maddy, I do
know you sound like her." Jake said as he climbed into the van with me
saying, "It was Maddy's idea for the disguise so we wouldn't draw
attention, I hate to say it but she said that if we were stopped, the cop would
be too interested in what he sees, like a good looking female, to check over
the van too closely. Just remember the cover story is I'm taking you guys home
after closing the bar; so have a drink so I can smell the booze on your
breath." I said smiling as I checked out my purse to make sure I had all
my fake I.D. and driver's license.
In no time we made it to the farm going right to the barn
and driving the van inside of it. We had the van unloaded in record time with the
goods put into an old bomb shelter that was hidden deep under the floor and
earth that the previous owners built during the Cold War.
Maddy was already there having driven her motorcycle and had
been drinking heavily along with my cohorts or what I called my thieves in
training. Our babies were in the care of my baby sister Stella that was staying
with us for a few days at our home.
Maddy was amazed as we all were at everything we brought
into the shelter. The cash amounted to over two million dollars or so at a fast
count; the jewels and furs were all real, possibly in the vicinity of three to
six million and the art probably would bring in ten to fifteen million. That
was possibly twenty million dollars in total at a low estimate and that was our
share after everything was Fenced. I was pleased, but the cops and the
insurance cops would be bound and determined to catch the perpetrators of this
major heist.
The jewels, furs and money, except for eighty thousand
dollars were placed back into the van. The eighty grand was split amongst us,
yet I gave Arne and my share to Maddy to hold until he drove us home as a
precaution. The art works were left in the shelter, as it was climate
controlled and sealed as we left.
I had a feeling I should have driven but Arne seemed okay so
I just sat in the back of the van and Maddy climbed into the front passenger
seat; she I could tell, she was drunk. At first this bothered me as she rarely
drank to excess but then the success of this heist might have brought this on
so I let the situation go by the wayside.
In no time we arrived at the public storage and unloaded,
with me securing our storage area with very high security padlocks at the door.
The locks were armored, torch proof, pick proof, bullet proof and bolt cutter
proof; if a bomb destroyed the storage area the locks would be intact. Once
again we were on the road with Arne driving his normal speed, fast. It was
after I said for him to slow down that it happened.
We came to a triple, snaking turn in an undeveloped section
of the county road system. The signs posted said ten miles per hour and Arne
was doing fifty at least. We made the first turn and that was all she wrote, as
he lost control of the van. It swayed from side to side on the left two and
then the right two wheels, as he fought for control, but not before reaching
the next curve. The van hit a ditch rise and took flight into the air, when it
came down it rolled several times with me being thrown free of the vehicle into
the weeds; that must have saved my life and me from substantial injury. I was
knocked unconscious briefly becoming coherent several minutes later to see the
van heavily engulfed into flames. I could see that the doors to the front and
the front end of the van were heavily damaged. I saw no signs of life! I tried
to get to those doors, I really tried, but I was forced back by the flames that
tried to lick and singe me.
For some reason I still had the purse I carried as I wore it
crossed from one shoulder across my breasts to settle at the hip. I was nervous
and scared, dropping to my knees and vomited. Regaining my composure I dug into
my purse and pulled out sixty thousand dollars and Maddy's engagement and
wedding ring set. At first I was perplexed and then realized it was Maddy's purse
and not the purse that I had carried. My mind was still blurred but I didn't
recall taking her purse, maybe I did and maybe I didn't; I just can't recall. I
went deeper and found her cell phone that we both carried and called the house
with Stella, my sister, answering half asleep.
"Stella wake up, it's me!"
"William? You sounded like Maddy at first; what's
wrong?"
I told her about everything leading up to what had just
happened along with the possible deaths of Maddy and Arne in the van. By all
indications I was in good shape except for maybe some bruising. Okay so I lied,
I had a great deal of bruising, I was bruised all over my small lithe body. The
worst was hearing my sister laugh heartily at me as I told her how I was
dressed and that I had Maddy's purse and all her I.D., though I also heard the
sadness and concern in her voice that Maddy was now deceased.
"Well dear sister in law of mine, I guess you'd better
become Maddy as I think William is now very dead. I think you'd better put
those rings on also, just in case. Look I'm sorry about Maddy but now you have
to survive.
If you tell the Bulls who you are while dressed like that…Oh
wow you'll be hit of the jailhouse, walking very strange for a very long time
and that's not to say what the judge will do. Right now you have to think of
the girls…"
"Thanks Stella, I don't need to be reminded, just come
get me. I'll call the Bulls and fire department, I just hope the bodies are
ashes by now and they didn't suffer."
"Maddy for your sake, I hope so too, I'll be there in
thirty minutes dear. The one thing in your favor is you didn't have a thing to
do with the deaths and I'll call Marlin at get him to cover for you three as he
always does; Mom needs to know also."
"Thanks Sis, I hear a car coming, I have to go." I
said urgently.
"Be careful sis, we love you." Stella said as we
disconnected.
Just as I put the cell phone into my purse, I heard voices
yelling as I sat on the ground and crossed my legs in pain to give the
appearance I was in partial shock after I buried the money I carried deep into
the pockets of the purse and placed the I.D. wallet/clutch purse on the top.
"Miss., Miss., are you okay?" A mans' voice said
to me softly as I was covered in a blanket over my shoulders.
Before answering I heard the wail of sirens on emergency
vehicles approaching saying, "I think so, my Lord, my husband…and
Arne…" I said as I fainted dead away, which I really did do from the pain
I was in.
Some very obnoxious smell awoke me. I was laying on the
ground with a man in firefighter turnout gear kneeling next to me saying as he
held something under my nose, " Madeleine, don't move yet please. I don't
think you have anything broken but I'd rather have the hospital check you
out."
"My husband and friend?" I asked weakly.
"Ah…. well…. I'm sorry but they didn't make it. You're
a very lucky girl to be alive. The coroner and the funeral home have arrived to
remove the remains. There isn't much left of them, the fire chief said the
bodies were basically cremated. Please, it isn't a pleasant sight." He
said as I began to rise to my feet unsteadily.
"I have to…. That was my husband as irresponsible as he
was; he was still my husband. I have to call my sister in law, his parents, my
poor babies." I said softly crying and distraught.
"Ma'am, please!" The man said as he held me from
going to the van with a cop running to us saying, "Please Mrs. Carmody,
there isn't much left to see or do. You really can't help them now; they're
gone. We notified his sister and mother, they or at least one of them are on
their way; please let the ambulance take you to the hospital to be checked
out." The cop tried to console me as he held my one arm with the
firefighter the other.
I screamed saying, "I have to, damn them and their
drinking! we were all going home from work at the Fireside Lounge, I'm a
hostess and William is the manager. His sister is watching my babies so we
could work. His last wishes were to be cremated without an autopsy, damn him, I
guess he got his wish." I cried heavily letting the tears flow thinking of
Maddy.
"Let me call Mr. Jasper here and speak to you. He's the
deputy coroner and the mortician for the county." The cop said running to
the burned out van just as my sister arrived in my suburban. When she saw me
she told a cop whom she was, running to me when she saw me, saying, " Are
you okay Sis?"
"I'm just beat up, William is dead Stella; He's
dead!" I said and screamed to her as I cried heavily again onto her
shoulder with her holding me showing my grief to everyone as the grieving
widow. She maintained herself to console me.
"My condolences Mrs. Carmody on your loss, but at least
you've survived; I'm Jacob Jasper from Jasper Mortuary. The officer told me
what your husband requested. Due to the condition of the remains of the
deceased I had spoken to the Coroner and the last wishes of the deceased will
be granted since you've identified the positions and the occupants."
"Oh thank you, will your mortuary complete…." I
said as I broke down and cried more with the mortician saying, "We'll take
care of everything for you and contact you at home. I have your telephone
number and address. Now young lady will you please state to the firefighter and
the Police Officer what Mrs. Carmody has requested from the mortuary. " Mr.
Jasper looked at Stella with her Stella telling them both what I wanted and
said I would be going with her, as I didn't want to go to the hospital. She
would call our family doctor and make sure I was examined.
Slowly I was walked over to the Suburban by several people
and was helped it seemed by many hands to get inside of the vehicle, as I truly
cried for my loss. Maddy was the love of my life and the mother of our babies,
the tears I had spilt were real, as I would miss her for the rest of my life. At
the same time I cursed her for what would happen and was about to happen to
change me forever.
"Damn, you are William, aren't you?" Stella asked
as she drove the car away from the accident scene with me saying, "Sis,
please don't start on me, I've lost so much tonight, a friend, my wife and the
mother of the girls." I sobbed as I said those words
"It is you! I really thought you were Maddy when I saw
you. But on the phone…I know you told me everything." Stella said with me
sadly saying, "It was her idea to draw suspicion away from me or the male
of the species."
"Damn you have balls! You're…"
"I know but now if I'm caught it can be worse than
anything I ever could imagine." I said as we pulled into my garage
noticing mom's parked car. Now for sure I'd never hear the end of anything and
my life had really gone to shit.
I heard silence as we entered the house until the door was
closed with mom saying, "Stella did you bring William home?" Mom said
with Stella saying,
"Momma I think you better come out here with
daddy." I knew I was dead meat for sure if my dad saw me. He's over six
foot nine inches tall and three hundred pounds of pure meanness being a retired
outlaw biker, but normally he was a big teddy bear to his family. Now as a
successful businessman he really hadn't changed. He's the type of man that
rides his Harley Hogg in the motto of the Postal Service, Neither rain nor snow
nor gloom of night. He never rode the Hogg, he put it on like a jacket. Oh
Shit, I was going to die!
"Maddy, you're alive then that means…Oh no!" Mom
said as she dropped to the floor in a dead faint.
"OhMyGod, Jennifer! darling please…" Daddy said
seeing mom on the floor and then looked up as he saw me and passed out also.
Stella helped me get Mom off the floor and onto a couch
after we both looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders. Now dad was
another matter altogether, there wasn't a forklift available so we just let him
lay where he was. Sorry, I wasn't about to get a hernia! Hey, bring on that
crane!
I ran to the bathroom, ignoring my pain, found the amyl
nitrate capsules in the first aid kit and ran back. I handed one to Stella
pointing her to dad while I stuck one under mom's nose after I broke it.
"Where…. Maddy…. How did I get here?" Mom said
groggily with me saying, "Mom…um… uh… I'm not Maddy. Mom, Maddy is
dead." I ran to the Master Bedroom crying flinging myself onto our bed we
shared for five years. It was quite a while that I cried when the door opened
slowly with the cutest little angelic face peeking in. She stood for a while
and watched me as I cried and then walking to me saying "Mommy please
don't cry, I 'm here."
"Come here Suzy." I said as I brought her to me,
hugged her and cried again.
"Honey, I'm not…"
"Oh yes you are mommy. Suzy go help grandma and grandpa
in the kitchen while mommy and I talk." Stella said softly to my daughter
before she ran from the room.
"You'd better think again about what you were going to
say. You know kids at her age talk to anyone and can say anything. Do you want
to wind up in the can? Now I came to help you and we can talk while you get out
of those clothes and into the bath." All I could do was to nod my head as
I began to get slowly undressed. I felt miserable, every Joint, muscle and
tendon hurt in my body, not to mention the massive, pounding headache I had.
I heard her breathe in sharply as I stripped to my catsuit.
Once removing it and the breast forms she began to breath somewhat normally
until she saw what appeared to be breasts that really were mine, which I
thought, were caused by gynecomastia or beer. Then I saw her smile almost to
the point of laughing as she saw the black-laced panties that were smooth in
the front, the padded panties I wore and the knee-highs along with my shaved,
hairless body after starting the bath for me.
I stood before her naked with her saying, " Jeez are
you sure those two babies are yours with that little thing? You didn't even
have a bulge in those panties." She said as she pointed to my private
area.
"Just help me to the bath, get me a robe and my
slippers after I get into the tub, wiseass." I said viciously.
Slowly I walked with Stella's assistance and gently
descended into the hot water. Stella had put in massive amounts of bath oil,
mineral salts and bubble bath; I smelled the rich fragrance of flowers that was
always present on Maddy's luscious body. I began to cry as I thought of her and
the mess I was in. without saying a word Stella went into the bedroom closing
the bathroom door as she left. When Stella left me, I had to mourn in my own
way. While I cried I saw and ignored some swelling in my chest area but I hurt
so much in every place, I attributed it to the accident.
There was a soft knock as I cried and soaked with mom coming
into the bathroom with dad and mom saying, " Back to your old habits. We
saw and heard everything on the TV and Radio."
"I don't understand…"
"William you promised us no more B and E's, the Bulls
will want your ass hanging after this stunt. They say that a Cat Burglar stole
about one hundred grand in stuff. And now you with this pretending to be
Maddy."
I was at a loss for words at first, one hundred grand? I
hardly think so! Those artworks are worth a fortune alone. What about the cash,
jewels and furs? The medical bills for the kids were killing us we're about to
lose the house this was the only way; it had to be the last time. Dad, I swear
that the clothes were all Maddy's idea to throw off the Bulls but the loot was
the take of a lifetime. The art alone is worth millions after it's all fenced.
We have cash, jewels and furs worth a king's ransom."
"Yeah, well, now she's dead and everyone thinks you
died in that van. Your kids no longer have a mother, now what?" Dad said
with mom saying, "I'll tell you now what, he has to be Maddy in every
detail, he physically has to be and become her. I suggest you call some favors
in dear, while Stella and I attend to your daughter-in-law, right Maddy
dear?"
"But Mom…"
"No, but Mom nothing, Suzy already thinks you're Maddy
and so do many others from this escapade of yours." Mom said as she
started to wet me down with the soothing bath water with dad saying, "I
hate to say it but your mother is right, logically, legally and otherwise
William is dead and Maddy is alive. It's fortunate that she was an orphan with
no other family but us, so that's favorable for you. Now as far as anything
else, we'll help recover what there is of the cash, jewels and furs. Now the
art needs to stay where it is which I assume is at the farm, let those idiots
them keep the art and Fence it through the old Brotherhood. As far as you know
everything else was destroyed in the van."
"Hell no, I deserve a cut of the artwork, they're worth
millions! Dad they're not stupid when it comes to jewels, they'll know fire
doesn't destroy gems it would just melt the settings and the other
metals." I said.
"We'll see about that, if they become trouble well all
I can say is there are ways to end it. In the meantime Maddy, I have a few
calls to make. I really don't want to do it but damn you screwed us good, now
we're all accomplices to your shenanigans. I should let them have your ass on a
platter, but our granddaughters need a mother. One thing I can thankfully say
is that no drugs were involve or was there?" Dad said with me saying, "Nope,
it was there but you know I don't touch that crap. One house had a vault full
of the shit, kilos that I left, probably way over five million in street
value." Mom began washing and conditioning my hair with me saying,
"Dad I don't know if I can go through with this charade. I mean being a
male is one thing but to assume my dead wife's identity… Being a woman and a
mother…."
"You should have thought about that before the
break-ins and being dressed as you were. Our grandkids need a mother, since you
obviously look like her, Suzy thinks you’re her and pretending to be her; by
what Stella says you act and speak like her; you will be her! I will not serve
time for you and this is the only way out of this situation you placed us in.
Girl you screwed up! That's the end of the discussion!" Dad said as he
left the bathroom angrily.
"Mom…"
"Oh no! This is one time I agree with your father. You
screwed up young ma…. Lady. Maybe you'll see things differently once you're on
the other side of the fence." Mom said, as Stella came into the bathroom
with a red quilted robe, long flowing flowery flannel nightgown, red satin
panties, matching bra and red satin slippers.
My eyebrows shot up as I saw everything she brought into the
bath. Mom helped me to stand as I felt the pain return to my body contorting my
face.
A towel was wrapped around my hair in a turban just as I saw
Maddy do so many times after she washed her hair. Another towel was wrapped
high around my body after it was dried as I stood in silence.
"Come with me into the bedroom." Mom said
authoritatively as she gathered the clothing that Stella had brought into the
bath.
Mom motioned for me to sit at Maddy's makeup table as she
laid down the clothes on the bed coming back to my seated form. She picked up a
pair of tweezers and went to town on my eyebrows while I closed my eyes from
the added stinging pain I felt. Maybe some people like this sort of thing,
maybe those people believe in the old adage of sticks and stones may break my
bones but whips and chins excite me. Sorry but that's not me and I have a
mountain of pain and now this.
Once finished and pleased with her handiwork I received a
manicure, nail and a pedicure in the deepest red nail polish available on
Maddy's table, that was now mine. Damnit why in the world was I ever talked
into impersonating a woman? Impersonate hell, they want me to have the works,
indoor plumbing an all. Damnit Maddy I hope you're seeing all the pain I'm in
and what you started. I am a man, a father; I have a penis, testicles, I was
your husband and lover now I'm your widower or widow. Now I have to be you for
the rest of my life in every physical way. Laugh, go ahead and laugh about the
pain, suffering, indignation and humiliation I'm going through, I thought. Now
dad and mom were another story; I sensed something in their words they spoke
that didn't quite ring true, there was something that I wasn't being told, it
wasn't like them to not tell me the entire truth.
"Mommy can I stay and help grandma?" Suzy said
sweetly from the doorway.
"Answer your daughter mommy, she wants an answer, you
schmuck." Mom said softly as she placed roller after roller into my hair
and tapping my head with her finger and then a comb. Damn she was pissed! I
held my daughter saying, "Sweetie, mommy isn't feeling well and grandma is
helping mommy. I want you to be a good girl and go to Aunty Stella or Grandpa
until mommy gets dressed; then we'll talk, Okay?"
"Yes Mommy, I love you."
"And I love you too baby, now go to Aunt Stella or
Grandpa." I said giving her a kiss and her happily leaving the room with
mom softly saying, "Damn, I think you'll do well mommy, maybe something
called mothering rubbed off on you from the old Maddy. Okay dear take off that
towel and lay on the bed please."
I did as she said knowing better that she was very angry at
my stupidity that got me into this mess. Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima
Culpa; through my faults, through my faults, through my most grievous faults as
the Altar Boys once said with the priest in the traditional Catholic Masses.
Damnit to hell, I was in some very brown and deep shit!
I felt something cool and foreign being spread onto my chest
as I closed my eyes; it felt soothing, then I was momentarily shocked as
something else was being pressed onto both sides of my chest covering my kinda
boobs and nipples. After what amounted to be several minutes, Mom took my hand
and made me stand. What the hell? I felt a pulling and massive weights that I
never experienced before; not even with the breast forms I wore which were
never attached. I opened my eyes and looked down to what amounted to was fear;
as I saw tits on my chest that looked real, my eyes must have said it all with
mom saying, "Get used to them dear as you'll have your own set very soon
for life. Oh and the adhesive is good for thirty days so you have to get used
to them now even at night." Mom said smiling.
Now it was one thing to just have loose hooters in a sports
bra but to have them affixed to your chest was another thing. I felt my bruises
and my mind saying what the hell did you do to deserve this? I just bet Maddy
is really laughing now! I bet she was now jumping up and down in her glee at
what was happening to me.
I was handed a pair of the panties Stella retrieved earlier
that I put on, but of course, no matter what I did it was wrong with Mom
telling me to tuck my Little Thingy back between my legs and pull the panties
up tight. Next was the bra; I will proudly say I was a master at taking the
damn things off, but sadly I will say putting one on was a different story. It
took me over five minutes to get it on as my mother smiled at my predicament
and me not offering her assistance. At least the Nightgown, slippers and robe
were easy enough but as I took my first steps in those red satin, wedge heeled
slippers I almost fell on my face. Okay I thought, so I could walk in high
heels, so I tried the same technique of rolling my hips and shorter steps,
which seemed to work out fine.
"Are you hungry Maddy?" Mom asked with me saying.
"Yes mom but I need the sleep more. Mom I really miss my wife." Mom
looked at me without skipping a beat said, "No dear, your husband, you're
Maddy from now until you die and we all love you. You still don't have any
inkling to what you've done, have you?"
"Oh yes I do, I bet she's laughing her ass off at this
very minute watching me suffer." I said as I took off the robe and
slippers placing the robe at the foot of the bed, lying down onto the bed
trying to get comfortable
"That's very possible and there's more to go dear
daughter." Mom said as she kissed my forehead, closing the drapes, leaving
the room and shutting the door.
Maddy I swear you did this on purpose to me; I thought as I
tried to fall asleep with the curlers in my hair and the boobs tugging at my
chest. It was then the door softly open. I felt the bed shake causing my boobs
to move too and the curlers tug at my scalp.
"Mommy can I stay with you for a little while?"
Suzy said softly, as she lay next to me in the darkened room.
"Sure my little darling." I said using Maddy's
term of endearment as I took her into my arms and held her to me, as I softly
cried myself to sleep with my daughter at my side.
Several hours later I awoke in our bed we had shared, sorry
my bed. My body felt not only sore but had the strangest sensations from the
tweezing, tugging and pulling. It was then I realized what was done to me along
with every reason and why. The reasoning flooded my male essence in the shame I
felt in what I was to become from what I was. Yet it was then I knew that and
what my Maddy had felt for the children that I never felt, a sense of
nurturing. I understood at once that my family wasn't doing this to humiliate
me but to see to it the children had a parent that was not incarcerated that
they needed on the long journey through life. Silently I vowed that I would
indeed raise my daughters, as Maddy would have wanted to do, if I am to be
their mother, so be it. I also added to that vow that if I was to become a
female I want it all now and cope later with any changes I had mentally or
physically. Now the thought of a man…. well…I just can't say, probably not.
Silently I put on my Maddy's, I meant my robe and slippers
and went to the bathroom. I was about to raise the seat and do it my former way
of aim and shoot when I caught myself. Raising and lowering everything I wore,
I sat, relieved myself and wiped just as any woman would. Inside I smiled not
feeling any shame as to my new sexual status. I knew that I would have shame
later, however that was later and this was now. Silently I left the bath
through the bedroom and down the hallway to the kitchen; passing the family
room I heard Suzy watching Sesame Street and smiled going into the kitchen with
mom saying, "Well, looks who's up? Did you sleep well mommy dear; are you
still in pain Maddy?" Mom said concernedly as she came and kissed me on
the cheek assisting me to a chair at the table.
"The answers are not really and a very definitive yes.
Mom, these curlers are a killer, how in the hell do you do it? I also hate
sleeping on my back or side."
"Too bad little girl, get used to it." Mom said.
"Where's Dad and Sis?" I asked.
"They went to see some people; you my dear have to get
dressed quickly, we have a doctors' appointment for you that your father made
for you. Please put a sports bra into your purse before we go. I suggest casual
dress for the doctor, jeans, sweater and slip ons. We'll take your Suburban
with you driving and I'll drive back. Your daughters are all set to go with us
after you eat. Your father furthermore said to leave the money for the back
bills you owe and he'll take care of it."
"Sure Mom, does the doctor know what's going on?"
"He doesn't care as long as he's paid with cash and
upfront."
Again I had the feeling that I wasn't being told everything
however I quickly retrieved my purse and took out the sixty thousand dollars
that Mandy had placed into it. I counted out eight thousand dollars for the
bills and back house payments saying, "I have fifty two thousand left will
that be enough?"
"Oh my yes, he told your father six thousand up front
and six more payments of the same each week for six weeks. Now you can give him
half his fee…"
"Is this guy legit?"
"Why yes, your father got his name from Baldy and no
records are kept so the cost is higher. The doctor is doing the complete job in
his office with two other doctors if they are needed. He promised complete
anonymity in the handling of your case. Today you're getting your own breasts,
remove your testes and add hormonal implants, next week more hormones possibly
a bit more facial surgery and a check up, next they're taking everything and
make the internal plumbing, when that is healed more check ups, hormones and
whatever has yet to be done.
Since William is dead, the paper file and computer files
along with the old fingerprints were removed and Maddy's were put into their
place so yours are now the true Maddy's fingerprints. That took some doing but
it's done on both the local and federal level. Your father is also having a family
tree done for you and us, Maddy dear, just as a just in case you do have
relatives and ours for Suzy and Ellie."
"Damn that was quick! Mom this…. I mean…Damnit, I don't
want to lose it!" I said as I sipped coffee and ate some toast nearly in
tears. I really didn't want to lose anything yet; I already lost Maddy and my
identity as a man but was it really necessary for me to become a woman in all
aspects of this word and world? It was quick, I guess money really does speak
for quick, decisive action but it had to be accomplished quickly. I had just
finished my toast and coffee when Suzy came running to me, if I had to comply
Ellie and she were the reasons why I did so. Gently I picked her up and held my
daughter in my arms and kissed her saying, "I heard you and Ellie are
coming with Grandma and I to the doctor."
"Yes mommy can we get a toy coming home?" Suzy
said smiling with me smiling and saying, "Oh…. I guess so, but we'll have
to see how much money I have to spend later on. Mother, do the children need
anything other then toys?" Mom patted her granddaughter's head saying,
"They're both growing so fast and Ellie is fine but this one needs
everything and I imagine you do too."
"Mother I have closets full of clothes and shoes plus
dressers full of lingerie." I said as I placed Suzy down with mom saying,
"But the clothing tastes might be different, we'll discuss this later
dear."
I left the kitchen and walked to my bedroom silently in
thought. Inside I removed the robe and nightgown. I found a new pair of red
colored slightly flared jeans and a red and black, mock turtleneck, oversized
pullover sweater in one closet. In the dresser I found a pair of black thigh
highs and decided to wear a pair of 3-inch, black colored, high-heeled, open
toed pumps that had a bow and a matching shoulder bag. Screw the slip ons!
Mom came into the bedroom and approved of my choices in
clothes and laid my red purse on the bed. In minutes I was dressed, had my
makeup on, with her taking my hair from the curlers. As she worked on my hair
she suggested a salon appointment when I remembered there was one already made
for tomorrow at nine am. For some reason I just knew I was going to be in
greater pain than what I felt now. When Mom finished I looked in the mirror and
I saw my dead wife's reflection until I realized it was me that I saw. It's
funny but you never know how much you love something or someone until they are
gone. It wasn't yet twenty-four hours and the pangs of loneliness were coming
to the forefront.
While transferring the contents of the old purse to the new
black purse I found an old, nasty condom that was used in a hidden pocket with
a new unopened box of lubricated Trojans. That seemed strange to me as we never
used those things at any time before, during or present in our sexual
relationship. OhMyGod, a Boyfriend! Cheating! How could I have not seen the
signs?
"Yes dear, she was with…. Marlin we think or so that's
what the rumor is going around." Mom said sadly.
"Mom do you understand that if she was with the Moose,
that now since I'm her, he'll come after me?"
"Dear you are a woman now and women have a sexual power
over a man. That is your first lesson now there are other ways to please him
besides intercourse."
"Great now I'm in sex education all over again. I
really don't want to hear the details." I said moaning loudly as I threw
the condom into the trashcan that I held with two fingers.
"No dear you aren't, but what was taught was from the
man's prospective and not the woman's side. As we keep saying you…"
"Okay Mom, just get me that frozen banana and I'll be a
good girl for you as I tickle my tonsils with it." I said smiling as mom
slapped my arm in a joking fashion.
I finished the transfer of the contents of the purses and
left the room as mom watched me as I walked. I felt her eyes boring into me
with every step I took to the coat closet as I removed a long black leather
trench coat and added a red silk scarf to cover my head. I had my coat on and
sat down on a couch and crossed my legs very seductively. I saw mom give me her
look of approval as she went to get her things and my keys to the Suburban when
I heard a motorcycle pull into the driveway and garage.
Seconds later dad came into the house smiling and saying,
"Damn Maddy I know some bikers buddies that could go for you right now.
You look great!"
"Henry, now stop teasing your daughter, she looks
lovely."
"Jennifer, I'm serious, she's beautiful. She'll have
the pick of any man she wants." Dad said.
"I know and we'll have to keep them away until she's
ready for that and men." Mom said as Stella came inside saying, "Men!
What men? Okay Maddy where's the man?"
"Oh…. The old Maddy had one called Marlin the
Moose." I said bitchily seeing the look on Stella and dad's faces I knew
what mom said was possibly true yet there was no proof except for the used
Latex Rubber in the trash. Maddy was cheating, well now I was Maddy, I won't
cheat and I'll be faithful to my husband. Oh shit, did I just think husband?
Well maybe there will be one in my new life? I have my daughters to think of.
Bull, we have more than enough money for several lifetimes; I don't think I
need any man in our lives to disrupt my family or me.
"Mom we better leave, Daddy the money is in the
kitchen, Stella do you want to come?" I asked with her saying, "You
bet but where are you going?"
"Oh the doctor, for a boob job and an
orchidectomy." I said nonchalantly and using my hands expressively with
two fingers doing a scissor cut watching my dad screw up his face in pain.
"Sure I like to see pain on your face, Sis."
Stella said as we both kissed our daddy goodbye and went for the babies with
him saying, "Damn she's a wiseass, a cute wiseass, but you know I kind of
enjoyed that kiss from them both Mom. Since no one will be here why don't you
stay and we could…" Dad said softly to mom not knowing we heard what he
said with mom softly and seductively saying, "Sorry lover you gave me a
major headache, it's called Maddy." She then kissed dad while Stella
helped Suzy into a jacket and I put Ellie into a baby carrier after I held her
to me and kissed her. We both left the family room with me taking the baby bag,
checking that the bottles were fresh and full along with the other essentials
with my purse. I reminded Dad about the money and we were gone with him
watching me very closely.
In no time we arrived at the clinic and I was taken into an
office immediately to meet the doctor. I had Ellie with me while Stella and mom
had Suzy in the reception area. On entering his office the Doctor I noticed,
was perhaps in his early thirties, tall and lean with sparkling blue eyes and
brown hair. Damnit he was handsome, I'd play with his zipper anytime, as Stella
would say. Did I just say that? Hell I wasn't even on the hormones yet and my
mind is thinking like a female. Oh Lord, if it does happen then I imagine its
fate and my fate to be on my back taking it in, all the way in.
"Hi Madeleine, I'm Andrew Watte your doctor, please sit
down and please relax. Are you sure about this procedure?"
"How much do you know?" I asked.
"Just what your father told me earlier."
"Okay, now let me add that this baby is my youngest
daughter and I have another daughter with my Mother and Sister in the waiting
room. My girls need a mother as theirs was killed in an accident that cremated
her. I was in a female disguise and was thrown clear with her purse. We look so
much alike that when the Bulls looked at my, her I.D., they thought it was me
that died.
When I was picked up by my Sister at the accident scene she
thought it was Maddy, when I walked through the door into my house both my
parents fainted thinking I died. My own daughter thought I was Maddy and still
does." I said as I picked up Ellie who was fussing.
"I see but to have all this surgery it's…"
"No, don't you understand, I assumed Maddy identity and
the Bulls, the cops…Jail…oh hell I don't care about them; it's my daughters and
their welfare I'm concerned about." I said as I cradled Ellie in my arms
holding her to me and rocking her ever so slightly as I fed her from a bottle
with my legs crossed.
"Okay Mrs. Carmody I can see we need to do something as
soon as possible. We'll help as much as we can with the pain, however I do
state you will be in considerable pain." Doctor Watte said coming to us
from behind his desk smiling and with a bulge in his pants, a very large
noticeable bulge. I handed him the envelope and said, "There's the first
payment you requested in cash, as was discussed with my father, it's half your
fee."
"My dear, is your father's name Henry Eight Ball
Carmody?"
"Yes sir when he was a part of the brotherhood."
"I thought so, young lady you will only have the best
treatment with us. Now let us take Ellie to your mother and sister; please call
me Andy or Andrew and I will only call you Maddy, deal?"
"Sure Andrew and thank you." I said as we left the
office he picked up the carrier and baby bag for me as I carried Ellie out to
mom and Sis. When we went out into the reception area it was old home week as
mom knew Andrew immediately as also an ex brother. Okay so now you know mom
rode with dad, a Biker Momma, so what?
When I left I kissed the girls telling them both them I
loved them then I kissed Mom and Sis while I saw Andrew speaking to the
receptionist and pointed to Mom. He came back and took me by the arm taking me
into a dressing room to be prepped; he saw I was shaking from fear. Whatever it
was it clicked in us both as he came to me, took me into his arms and kissed me
very passionately. After the kiss he said, "Maddy, I'm so sorry, I've….
never done that before. Please…"
"Andrew please, I've never been kissed like that by a
man, any man but you know I liked it coming from you." I said softly with
him saying, "Maddy you're enchanting, would you consider dinner with me in
a few days?"
"Oh Andrew…I don't…Sure I'd love to." I said as we
kissed again. What the hell was wrong with me? I never had urges to kiss men
nor to date them now it seems that I'm doing both. I am a man! At least I was a
man.
"Okay dear, now get undressed and then I'll see you
very soon and I'll hope that I will be with you in your dreams too. The nurse
will be right in to take a blood sample and your vitals now be a good girl
while I talk to Jennifer and then get ready for you." Andrew said and then
brushed my hot lips with his, with him leaving me wanting and waiting for more
of him.
I began to think about that man as I undressed when an
outgoing nurse came into the room smiling and saying, " Damn you're fast
girl, I'm Cleo as in Cleopatra and yes my parents had an Egyptian thing going
for them. Between us girls, what did you do to poor Andy? I've never seen him
like this before. Normally women are play toys to him but you are very special.
A bit of advice with Andy, tease and play with him, hook him and reel him into the
landing net."
"Cleo thanks for the advice but I think it was my
daughter Ellie or Suzy or both that got to him. Honest I wasn't looking for a
romp in bed or a date just a boob job."
"You're kidding right, those look awfully full to
me."
"Yeah full of silicone and latex." I said making
the both of us giggle.
"C'mon girl we'll get those off after the blood is
drawn from you." Cleo said making me very comfortable to be in her care.
When the blood was taken and the breasts removed I felt
naked and a part of me was gone. I also noticed that my nipples and surrounding
area were larger, itched and were more pronounced with more breast enlargement
that was very noticeable, additionally noticeable than before. What the hell
was going on? Maybe I need those vitamins that I stopped taking?
Cleo then walked me to the surgical room and had me lie down
on the table, starting an I V, something was added by a syringe and in no time
I was asleep. When I woke up, Andrew stood next to me and kissed me.
"Gee Doc do you always give the same treatment to
everyone." I said smiling yet groggy with Andy saying, "No Mrs.
Carmody, just the ones I adore and that's surely you my dear. I have to hurry,
my staff is already whispering about our impending romance."
"Well is it?" I asked with him saying, "Do
you want it that? Are you prepared to see it through? If so, yes my
sweet."
"Oh…I dunno…Oh yes, I want to see more of you but don't
forget technically I am in mourning." I said sadly with him saying,
"My dear, we will be discreet and I would like all of us including the
children to do things together."
"Andrew, are you sure? I mean Suzy can be a handful and
a demon in disguise. There are also times I'm going to drive you mad. " I
said with him saying, "Yes I'm quite sure, now lift up the cover so we can
see my work together."
Damn my breasts looked good, very real and large. My nipples
were already erect as he held my hand is his. Next was between my legs as my
testes were gone and what was left created a vagina until a real one was
constructed, it looked real to me but had no depth for penetration. It seemed
that I had small bandages everywhere and felt no pain, yet.
I felt a little fuller in my hips and butt finding out that
some stomach fat was used to enlarge those areas. My waist was now smaller,
well at least my clothes would fit now as they were loose in those areas
without the padding but now I guess they wouldn't be any longer. I was also
given timed released injections and immediate release, massive injections of hormones.
I was very pleased and gave Andrew another kiss as he helped me get dressed and
walked me slowly to where mom and Stella were waiting for me. Suzy was the
first to see me and ran to me. I took her little hand into mine, as I couldn't
pick her up for a few days. I turned to Andy and said, "Dear this is just
one part of my life as is Ellie, my mom, daddy and Stella as you know."
"Is there any more room in there?" Andrew asked
with me smiling and saying, "Oh I think there can be, why? Do you want
space?"
"I think I do my dear, I want to take the family out to
dinner when I take out those stitches in three days. I'll call you later at
home and tomorrow, remember to change the dressing, keep everything clean and
take the pills that the receptionist has waiting for you along with the
supplies you need. Jennifer, Stella, I ask that you please take care of this
woman and the babies for me."
"Andy I swear if I didn't know you I'd swear you're in
love." Mom said smiling, making Andy and I blush.
Stella took Ellie and her accessories; I happily took Suzy
by her hand and mom watched us, along with most of the staff as I kissed
Andrew. Mom finally pulled me away leading us out the door as I looked at
Andrew. Sis already received my pills and supplies from the nurse as she smiled
deeply, almost knowingly at me looking deeply into my soul. Not a word was said
when we got into the car heading home. When where the questions coming? Not a
peep, even from motor mouth Stella the girl that can speak a thousand words in
a tenth of a second or was that a hundredth.
"Maddy, what in the world were you thinking?" Mom
said finally breaking her silence, as my comfort level decreased from the pain
I said, "Mother, I don't know in all honesty, all of a sudden I looked
into his eyes and I wanted him, forever in my bed and life."
"Well I guess everything is so new to you yet still
that's no excuse. Keep those knees together and focus. He is cute isn't
he?" Mom said as she laughed making us all laugh.
I told her to stop at the storage area but to check it out
first making absolutely sure we weren't followed. I decided that everything
needed to leave the storage area, although I alone had the keys; I was somewhat
worried that my former partners would try to access the facility if their greed
got to them.
I called dad on the cell phone and had him go purchase an
all frequency professional scanner at Benny's store; I wanted professional
quality not Radio Shit or BearCrap amateurish garbage. Benny was a friend of
the family, a biker and an electronics specialist. He really had no formal
training he was just one of those people that absorbed a subject like a sponge.
Benny was also the person that sold me any and all my specialized equipment
that I needed to do a Job, so he was careful to the point of paranoia and kept
his mouth shut. I told dad cryptically what I, we, were about to do and he
agreed, as he didn't trust either of them after meeting them a long time ago.
We finished the call when we arrived at the storage area
twice we went around the area, saw no one and the hackles of my hair were down
so we went cautiously to my area. Once there I checked the locks and the traps
I set to tell me if anyone had tampered with anything, all was in order to my
satisfaction. Mom and Stella quickly helped me to open the door and we entered.
Thirty very large and heavy bags were removed and placed into the cargo area.
Damn I hoped the springs and frame held out! We closed, locked, re-trapped the
door and left the area. I could see mom and Stella were both nervous as we
drove back to my house. Several times I had to remind mom of the speed limits
and one of those times we just barely squeezed through a County Sheriff Speed
Trap.
Once ome she backed in the Suburban as I heard the tailpipe
scrape the concrete as we entered the driveway and finally into the garage and
safety. We also saw that dad had taken Maddy's Hogg instead of mom's car. Damn
was he ever going to be pissed from Benny's razzing; that Full Dress Hogg stood
out like a sore thumb with its metallic pink and purple paint job. Oh well,
tough; it's a Ladies Bike and it never had a Dyke on that bike!
As the garage door closed Mom said, "When Dad comes
home we'll take each of those bags out and inventory them. I'm sorry for
doubting you, it was just that we heard what the News crew said." Mom said
with me adding, "Mother, I might be a lot of things but I never lied to
you or dad, okay maybe the truth was stretched a little." I saw her smile
as we left the car bring my daughters with us into the house. Of course Suzy
flew into the family room and had the television on before we had our coats
off. I calmly went into the room and turned off the Big Screen television
saying, " Suzy, you know that we have chores to do. Now where do your coat
and shoes go? Also I would like your room straightened as it should be, young
lady."
"Okay mommy, I'm sorry." Suzy said getting up off
the floor, going toward her coat. I took her to me, holding her giving her a
kiss on the forehead. You know in my old ways I would have screamed and yelled,
now I seemed to emulate Maddy more and more in taking care of the children,
showing them the love that only a mother can give them. While I hugged Suzy,
Mom and Stella where at the doorway watching me, smiling. When I kissed my
little daughter their smiles seemed to broaden. I never was one for complements
but lately I accepted them whenever I got them. I took Suzy's tiny hand, walked
with her and took the carrier that contained Ellie, taking my daughters to
their rooms. Suzy started to pick her things up and I walked with Ellie into
the nursery.
Taking her from the carrier to the changing table I took off
her outside things and checked under her hood. Well let's just say the buzzards
dropped from the skies as I changed her. I remembered in the past I used to gag
as I changed her now…things have kind of taken a different course or direction.
She was already to go in minutes with even had her jammies
on. I held her, fed her and sat in the rocker while I heard that mom or Stella
had turned on the stereo to some soft music. Ellie smiled her smile at me, then
yawned as I fed her a bottle that was in the diaper bag I found. Once it was
finished and Ellie burped, she closed her eyes and went to sleep in my arms as
I hummed along with the music I heard. A few more minutes and she was in her
crib all tucked in for the duration until she screamed for another bottle.
Dad had return and I heard another male voice that I at once
recognized as Benny our friend as I continued to walk into the kitchen. Well
he's met Maddy before so I guess he'd know I thought as I entered the kitchen
saying, "Hi Daddy, Hi Benny." I went to dad and kissed him and then
calmly walked to the fridge.
"Holy Fu…Oh sorry… Eight Ball if I hadn't of
seen it, I'd swear…."
"I told you Sparks, now you can see how we felt
when we saw her. Ya know William was always a hell raiser but now…I just can't
figure it out. We all saw some changes in mood and temperament these past
months but now, like wow man."
Benny went back to an H/P Laptop and made some adjustments
to a box that was attached to a USB port. He looked up and said, "Okay
Maddy, Eight Ball, now the antenna on the roof looks like an old fashion
lightning rod and the coax looks like a ground wire that goes underground and
then into a wireless junction transmitter in the utility room.
Now up here is the control unit and the laptop has all the
software to control everything. This damn thing will even pick up the Fed and
Military encrypted cipher channels, most of the Cell Towers and allow you to
listen in so the Sheriff and local Cop Frequencies with no problem. Another
feature is it's also an RF and Laser Bug Detector. Now there's also a portable
unit that can be used in the car or on a Hogg, the case is actually the
antenna. Read all the Read Me Files and I have some sheets that explain some of
my own refinements"
While we watched Benny switched on the little gadget by the
software. In not even a second voices came from the computer's speakers while
showing the frequencies on a radio that was displayed onto the display screen.
"Sparks that's great, now don't gouge me on the
price." Dad said.
"Damn you two are always buying my crap so I have about
thirty two hundred invested. Okay two Kegs and thirty two hundred." Benny
said smiling.
"I'll be right back." I said as I went to the
garage and directly to the Suburban's cargo area. I found a bag with some money
and took out ten thousand dollars. Five thousand went into or around my waist
in the jeans. The rest was for Benny I thought, as I shut the trunk and walked
back to the kitchen.
"Okay Benny it's a deal and Daddy will buy you the
kegs." I said as I walked to Benny and handed him the money.
"Daddy? Damn Eight Ball…"
"Sparks don't start your shit with me, my daughter
called me Daddy so what? Another thing, if you mention the colors of that
scooter again to anyone I'll… "
"Ah nuthin', I just think its grand and kinda
precious."
"While I have you both here, tell me about Andrew Watte
and if either of you lie to me I'll twist those things off between your legs
just as mine were cut off today, got it! I said as they both winced in the
thought of something happening to their cajones.
"He's a nice guy used to be with the old Gray Geese
from up north, came from a poor family. He does work for the brotherhood when
they can't go to a Doc or they have no money. His moniker is the Surgeon
and he's one hell of a doctor and doesn't really fit in with the beer swilling,
headbustin' and druggie crowd. That's why Eight Ball and I sent you to
him he's the best."
"Oh… so it was your idea…. I thought it was Baldy?
Do you both realize what you've done to me? And what she did to me?" I
said angrily.
"Ah…. Um…No." Dad said with me angrily saying,
"First you lied to me! I now have a date with him in a few days and…and
I've had things added and other things removed. I'm in pain from my head, to my
two new tits and to my fat lovely ass. My mind is like mush; damnit I was your
son and now I'm your daughter in law."
"She kissed him!" Mother added softly to the
conversation.
"Do…What…When…Holy sh…" dad said with mom saying,
"Henry you heard what I said…Maddy is still confused"
"Hey maybe that's a good sign, a son in law that's a
brother and a Doc." Benny said with daddy saying, "You pea brained
asshole, she looks like Maddy, acts like Maddy but in her mind she's still the Ferret;
at least I think so." Daddy looked slightly confused scratching his beard
and then between his legs absentmindedly.
"Well I told him I'd go out with him so now…I gave my
word. So guess who gets to baby-sit? Mom and Stella are going to be busy and no
drinking, smoking the raunchy cigars or spoiling my daughters; got it
Daddy?" I said with dad saying, "Damnit Jennifer, she gets that mean
streak from you. Yes dear, I understand and Uncle Sparks will be here
also, right Sparks."
"Uncle…Me? Aw… I was going to the swap meet for parts
for my ride and I had a babe that was kinda goin' too."
"Uh…. I don't think so ole ridin' buddy. That babe can
plant her lips on that hot Thingy of yours later, you're baby-sitting with
Grandpa, Uncle Sparks. Ya know I might be saving you from a dose of the
Clap or Crabs. I heard a rumor there's a lot of that Bullhead Clap running
around, they hit it several times with a hammer and then milk the puss and
blood out, then scrape it out with razors. Damn just think of that penicillin
injection of several million units, they say that needle is the size of a
turkey baster and was designed for horses. Instead it's sliding into your firm
ass cheeks and then there's the rubbing of the Blue Ice ointment into your
pubes." Daddy said with a sadistic smile.
"Damn that was good dear." Mother said as Benny
cringed and I giggled taking my mind from all the confusion it had. It was well
known that Benny was scared of any type of injection, now I think he was afraid
of sex. Oh the Hairy Palms!
"Hey I learned intimidation from the best, you my
love." Daddy said as he bent to kiss my mother and take her hand with her
saying, "Cheer up Benny you might not get a hummer from that babe but I
bet Alex gets one from Maddy." That made everyone laugh but me stopping
when we heard over the scanner the special burglary Bulls talking about the
heists and an abandon, stripped car where we dumped one. They also said a
partial print was taken. With the description of the car it was one that Tom
drove. I was close to panicking!
"Ah…. Daddy that was one of ours they found." I
said scared with dad saying, "Shit if that print matches those clowns
we'll have a big problem." Benny looked at dad saying, "Maybe the Enforcer
can help?"
"Damn Sparks he makes the problem worse if he's
involved, he'll get rid of those two chumps for good." Daddy said with me
saying, "Oh no…I don't even want to hear or think about that. I've never…
hell I don't even carry a gun or knife." Daddy interrupted me saying,
"We know Sweetheart, but we have to face facts that they can send you
away; Stella and us have our own lives too. We love those babies but they need
you now."
"Okay Uncle Sparks call the Enforcer but
I want a meet far away from here and someplace we aren't known." I said.
"We?"
"Oh did I forget you're coming too Sparks!
Sweetheart, I want the access codes to that shelter and don't give me that
garbage you don't know them." Daddy said raising his eyebrow.
"Shit Eight Ball…. I have…." Benny said
confused with daddy saying, "I know, but I feel comfortable with you at my
side for covering my ass." Daddy said smiling.
"Yeah and it's one hell of an ass that I love."
Mother said squeezing dad's ass cheeks making him squirm.
"Okay Eight Ball, but you have to get me those
parts…. Maybe even…"
"Parts yes…But I ain't no pimp, besides you have
Margaret and her four sisters to keep you company. " Dad said deviously as
I handed him all the codes at the farm and slipped my hand into his to calm his
anger down.
"Ah…Fer…I mean Maddy, you gave me too much
money…" Benny said with me saying, "I know what I gave you Benny, you
taught me well and I kinda owe you for everything you've done. Cover Daddy's
ass well, get him the meet, please." I said as I went to Benny and kissed
him on the forehead, after I did it I was shocked yet again, as Benny seemed to
like it.
"Maddy you know I will, I'd better get going and
thanks." Benny said as he left the room and the house very quickly with
mom and dad following him out of the house. I sat down at the breakfast nook
after getting a cold glass of pink grapefruit juice and my double dose of
vitamins that the old Maddy started me on. I took a double dose as I forgot to
take them yesterday. I swallowed them all with the juice and remembered I had
more pills to take.
"Mom where are my pills from Andy?" I asked as she
had just come inside after seeing Benny off with dad still outside. Mom came
into the kitchen going went to the highest cabinet saying, "I wanted to
make sure little hands couldn't get to them"
"Five pills?" I said as she nodded yes. I popped
those into my mouth and drank the juice, washing the glass out, I said,
"Mom, I have to take a bath, I'll have Stella come with me but could you
listen for the pitter patter of little feet?"
"Sure but my turn is next." Mom said smiling as I
kissed her going to my room, stopping and asking Stella to keep me company as I
bathed.
I took off my sweater and saw the money in my jeans that I
forgot was there. Quickly I pulled it out and pulled out one of the bottom
drawers of what was now my dresser. That was where I found three envelopes
addressed to just My Darling in Maddy's flowing script. I placed the money into
that area and took out those letters and replaced the drawer.
While I finished taking the jeans, knee-highs and pumps off,
I started my bath adding the bath oils and bubble bath. I came back iito my
bedroom and took off my panties and sports bra when I heard Stella gasp saying,
" Girl you're just one bruise from head to toe."
"I know and I feel each one of them all. I still can't
get used to the boobs. Sis did the old Maddy tell you about any letters for
me?" I said as I began to take off the bandages with Sis jumping in to
help me. I picked up the letters and just held them absentmindedly.
"Damn they look good! I mean the whole body effect is
stunning, she'd be jealous. I think you'd better get used to the boobs, you'll
have them forever, Sis. No, you know she barely spoke to me for the past few
months, before that we were real close. I felt as if I did something wrong to
her." Stella said as we walked to the bath I drew.
It took me a while to fully sit down in the water allowing
the water jets to work on my poor overly endowed and very sore body. I had
Stella hand me the first envelope and read the contents after I had dried my
hands.
Hi
My Darling;
If
you're reading this then I am gone forever. Darling I have many things that I
need to be forgiven for.
First
I never told you I was diagnosed terminally ill before Ellie was born. The
disease is incurable and debilitating that I never told you about. There was no
chance I would ever recover and I held it within me daily.
Secondly
this letter will really make you angry when you've finished reading this; I beg
for you to be in control of yourself. In my madness and depression when Ellie
was born I made a decision that our children needed a mother. I looked
everywhere for the ideal mother for them. Then I saw you in a new light in the
way you take care of them both having both patience and love for our little
darlings. The thought of you remarrying just any woman sends tinges of fear up
and down my spine after what I have seen and heard. There are women out there
that dislike having to step into the shoes of another woman so much that they
abuse the children of a former marriage without the spouse knowing, both
verbally and mentally. There are also women that detest children and hide their
hatred. I couldn't and wouldn't allow it!
Darling
to be honest I was drawn to you because you never acted macho like some men at
all, but your demeanour was like mine, more feminine in some respects. What I
did do; I did for them. Those are our babies, how I love them both. I have
always loved you from the time I met you, you were and are everything to me.
Next
my thoughts were of how much we looked so much alike so little Suzy would never
know I'm gone. (Hey stupid, that was the supreme complement. Cool it!)
Months
ago I got you started on the vitamins, well darling those were anti-androgens
and massive doses of female hormones. Since your regimen started I've seen a
massive change in you, from temperament to those cute little budding breasts.
(Which I tried to stop the discomfort with a salve that's in my, no your
dresser.)
The
final thing if you recall I've had you dress as a female many times in
preparation to pay for those ghastly medical bills we had that were mostly
mine. Daddy will explain things later to you.
Darling
you took all my mannerisms and my voice patterns as second nature but even
better we built your body to match my own. To reinforce my mannerisms and voice
I had hypnosis performed to make you feel more natural and relaxed in your new
role.
During
those months most of your male clothing was replaced with androgynous female
clothing from lingerie to sweaters and some loafers and other things.
Darling
I know by now you are really PO'd but our children come first! I love you and I
always will, my dear loved one, Please find a husband for yourself as our
children by now have two mothers and one will be watching from afar longing to
hold all of you in my arms.
I
Love You!
M
What the hell? She did this? And who the hell was WE?
Replacing the letter into the envelope I asked for the next letter and opened
it.
My
Darling;
Oh
please, please forgive me for what I've done. I love you so much but I broke
our marriage vows as I've had sex with a man.
It's
not that you didn't satisfy me in the past or satisfy me with the oral sex now
because of the problem I caused in your performance in bed; it's just I was
weak and stupidly drinking each time I did it. I am writing this for your
forgiveness and want you to know that if I survived after what I did to you and
if you forgave me I'd become a lesbian just to be with you and the girls.
Pease
don't do anything stupid to Marlin, but watch yourself around him, give him
nothing of yourself or your new body. Darling please we are one and always will
be I am you and you are me, forever!
L
do love you and only you my darling
M
Sonofabitch see did do it with that crud but she was only
human and I wasn't able to perform sexually as I did before. My anger subsided
to forgiveness. I forgive her for the infidelity; we all make mistakes or allow
others to make those mistakes for us. Do I ever know about that! I saw by the
look in Stella's eyes that her curiosity was getting the better of her. I was
thinking I should let her sweat a little more for all the cutting remarks that
I had endured and then to allow her to read everything.
I put the letter I had just read into the envelope and gave
it to Stella as she gave me the last letter. I opened it and pulled the paper
from it seeing what appeared to be stains from either water or tears.
My
Darling, My Lover and My Best Friend;
My
time has come as I can no longer bear the pain and the suffering is greater
that I can no longer hide or control it. The meds from the doctors don't work
and the meds from the street make me sicker.
I
have said it once and now I say it again; I am you and you will be me and by
now you are. I know I should have told you everything and I do know I took you
back to your evil ways and all I can say for myself is that it was with love
that I did everything I did.
I
tried to be the ideal wife, friend, lover and mother you wanted; now my dear
you will have to do the same for some man and me. Please place everything below
the girls needs as they come first, next is your man's needs as his wife and
lover but remember you also have to be his best friend.
I
know you are confused but when the time comes you'll get to know in bits and
pieces from Momma and Daddy. That really didn't make much sense but you'll find
out later.
I
really do love you and always will. I want you to be all the Madeleine I ever
was My Darling Lover and now the Mother of our Girls. Love them both always and
I ask that you never forget me. I ask also that Ellie and Susan never be told
of what we did by anyone. Please take them somewhere that is peaceful, like a
church or the forest and remember those loving times we both had together. That
is one promise I know you will keep for me as a Last Wish.
Good-bye
My Lover
M
My tears flowed as I read the last letter giving it to
Stella without the envelope and unfolded. She committed suicide because she was
dying, she wanted to die with dignity but I'm afraid she took Arne as an
innocent. I cried into my hands as I held them to my face until I could cry no
more.
"The old Maddy loved you very much Sis." Stella
said tearfully as I began to recover from my sadness saying, "Stella, how
could anyone do the things she did for the sake of love? I mean I now have to
be her until I die, the hormones, hypnosis and least we forget the crossdressing."
"It does sound strange but she was concerned about you
doing more of what you did and used to do. You know, we all spoke about this
before while you were at work at the Fireside Lounge, we saw that it would only
be a matter of time before you got caught if you returned to the ways of the
Cat. You know the law of averages better then all of us, then what? Prison and
what about Ellie and Susan? If you went to the Prison, Daddy said you'd be
either dead or someone's cellie wife. I think the old Maddy saw this and what
she did was a way to make sure you stayed honest and with those last jobs you
did the girls are set for life and the insurance pays off to those people. Damn
I bet they'll all rip those companies off."
"I guess but she committed suicide…"
"She was in more pain than anyone could or would deal
with. You're bruised and cut from the surgery Sis, but you'll recover, she
wouldn't. By the way your boobs are perfect damn I wish mine were."
"You're right I guess, as for the boobs, I'll have Andy
take care of them for you." I said devilishly with her saying,
"Speaking of the good doctor; I swear you wanted him on the spot, did
you?"
"I always thought of myself as being straight, it was
always strictly women in my bed with never a thought about men, but with Andy I
wanted him right then and now. Damn he's a hunk and he wants me and loves the
kids." I said smiling, yet confused in my mind perhaps from the
painkillers.