The Gate to Aragnatha
by Lynn Lefey
Chapter One: Dungeons of Fantasy
It was Wednesday, 5:30 PM, and Andrea Thomas walked toward
the comic and game shop. The bell cuffs of her sagging denim shredded against
the concrete. The hot late-summer wind blew through her excruciatingly short
haircut. In a few more weeks, she intended on getting her hair dyed green, but
for now, there wasn't enough to worry about.
She pushed against the glass door leading into
"Dungeons of Fantasy". At least the air conditioning cut some of the
horrible summer humidity. A quiet ping chimed as she broke the light beam
crossing the entrance. Tony looked up from his pen-whipped copy of "Comics
Preview".
"An-DEE!" he shouted.
"Yo, what up, To-NEE!" she replied, flashing a
nonsensical mock gang sign.
"Latest issues of Gen-13 and the summer pin-up from
Marvel are on the rack. Hey… I'm digging your "Disturbed"
tee-shirt," Tony said.
Andy didn't know if Tony actually liked her or just faked
it, so that she'd do all her business at the shop. It didn't really matter.
She slid her backpack off and dropped it beside the vending
machine. She dug in her deep pockets and retrieved a handful of coins, dropping
them in the machine. She selected the button marked "Mountain Dew"
and listened to the machine disgorge her beverage of choice.
She walked through the shop, looking at the various titles
that might interest her. The hardcover collected volume of "Astro-City"
with the Steeljack story was on the shelves. She grabbed it and carted her
treasure to the front of the store. She'd missed two issues of the arc, and
hated leaving a story unfinished, especially one that well done. She had a soft
spot in her for the underdog hero.
"Hey, could you put this in my pull box?" she
asked.
"No problem. Hey… you're, like, three dollars short of
getting your twenty five-dollar bonus. You pick up, like, one issue of anything
and you'll be good to go," Tony said enthusiastically.
"Dude, you know I want nothing more in life than to one
day do what you do for a living. You've gotta just LOVE it," she said.
"Well, the pay sucks, but any job that allows me to
read comics all day, draw, and see all the newest games when they first get
released… Yeah, I guess it could be worse. I could be flipping burgers,"
Tony said, smiling.
She flipped through her pull stack and found the latest
"Amazing Spider-Man". She'd been following it for a while, since she
heard about the movie… and since JMS was now writing it. She got hooked on J.
Michael Straczynski after seeing "Babylon 5". Any sci-fi series with
a lesbian as second in command of a space station just HAD to rock. And
honestly, Claudia Christian was HOT!
She retrieved her wallet from her back pocket, mostly by
following the heavy length of chain connected to it. She unbuttoned the heavy
buttons securing it, and withdrew a five. She also rummaged through the dice
bin, finally finding a smoke gray dodecahedron (a twenty sided die). Tony rang
up her new acquisitions.
"You want the hardcover for the bonus?" he asked.
"Yep. Sweet! A hardcover, for less than five
bucks." She knew that she'd spent hundreds in this shop and it wasn't
really "free"… but it still felt nice.
She unzipped her backpack, and slid the new stuff in between
her game books. The backpack bore two emblems. One was a patch of a rainbow
triangle, the other a pin proclaiming "Grrl Power!"
Andy wandered to the back of the shop and opened the door
that led into the basement. The lights were on. She thought the DM must already
be in.
Only moments passed before the ping sounded again. This
time, Tony looked up to see another regular, someone else here for the
Wednesday night game. Michael Dickinson wore his usual shabby sweats and white
Manga tee shirt. The shirt showed Aoi Futaba-Chan, a cute girl from
"You're Under Arrest", a comic series Tony had never seen. Michael's
long unkempt hair obscured his face. He stormed across the shop to the soda
machine. Another Mountain Dew was dispensed. Tony didn't even get a word in
before Michael was down the stairs, but he could have sworn Michael's lip was
quivering like he was on the edge of tears. Tony tried not to think about it.
Michael was a nice guy, but a total geek and a fairy.
Phil Johnson and Larry Carroll came in together a few
minutes later. Both were fairly big game nuts as far as Tony could tell, and
both were older… perhaps mid-thirties. Phil was rather soft around the middle,
although he exercised like a madman. He spoke constantly of the curse of
"Fat Genes". Larry, on the other hand was the type with a fast metabolism.
He also lifted weights, but to little avail. He was still thin, at best.
"Good evening Gentlemen. I think the rest of the group
is assembled and waiting. Can I do anything for you before the game?" Tony
asked in his most professional tone.
"Yeah. Can I see my pull box? And, did the special
order small-press stuff come in?" Phil asked.
Tony pulled the reserved books for Phil, then began flipping
through inventory lists.
"Sorry, dude… the small press stuff is delayed. Some
hold up in distro," Tony apologized.
"No problem. Is the Stronghold Builder's Guide on the
shelf yet?" Phil went on.
"Yep. Three copies left," Tony replied without
needing to look.
Tony knew Phil was a fairly strong supporter of the game
industry, and tried to keep such customers well pleased. Tony rang him up, and
bagged the new books.
"I'll probably stop by Saturday to give the Guide a
quick flip-through. Don't worry if you've cleared the three copies before then.
It's no big thing," Phil said, picking up his bag.
"Great, I'll be here," Tony said.
Larry had dug out a handful of dice.
"Could you ring these up… my other dice have been
rolling for shit lately. I think they're out of juice," He stated.
"No prob," Tony said, completing the transaction.
The shop owner had come across a good idea using some of
their basement storage for a game night. It brought in decent business.
Phil and Larry descended into the basement. Tony went back
to his copy of "Comics Preview".
…
The cramped basement smelled of moist cardboard. Old faded
cutout figures and game isle-caps lay strewn in the shadows. Inventory boxes
were mostly kept in the storeroom upstairs, so there was really nothing to fear
from a group being down here unattended. The concrete floor, folding metal
chairs and table, and unadorned fluorescent light fixture all sang to the heart
of any real gamer.
As Phil and Larry approached, Phil took notice of Michael.
He sat with his head laying left side down in his folded arms. Andrea busied
herself with arranging her "Player's Handbook", character sheet,
dice, and sheets of notes. Phil sat on the left of the table, next to Andrea.
Larry sat next to Michael. At the head of the table, behind the quad-fold DM
screen sat the feared Dungeon Master, Carl Asair.
The players were mostly unaware that they had graduated, by
process of elimination into this Wednesday game. Phil had stayed up late nights
discussing the finer points of plot with Carl, and knew he had very specific
things he wanted to see in his players. These four were some of the best he'd
had in a while.
Carl finally looked up from his notes, and took notice of
Michael.
"Michael… what's wrong? Do you feel all right?"
Carl was a man who loved getting into a game, and could seem
sadistic and cruel in his creation of horrifying situations in which to place
his players, but he was also very clear to separate that from the real world.
Michael lifted his head, and looked at Carl. The area around Michael's left eye
was purple and swollen. The white of the eye was red; looking like it had a
broken blood vessel. His lip still trembled and he sniffled as a tear ran down
his cheek.
"I got jumped again at school." He looked at Carl
pathetically.
A general burst of frustration and anger erupted in the
small group.
"Mikey, you gotta learn to stand up for yourself,"
Larry began.
"Larry, wasn't it you that used to get beat up in High
School all the time for being skinny?" Phil commented.
"Yeah… but that was a different time," Larry
returned.
"Fuck all that! Michael, tell me who did it, and I'll
go kick their asses!" Andrea said.
"Yeah, great. 'If you don't leave me alone, I'll have
my bull-dyke friend here bust your face'… Oh, THAT would help!" Michael
stated sarcastically, his face contorting with pain.
"The term is 'Stone-Butch'… thank you," Andrea
returned.
"Are you sure you want to be here tonight? One of us
could give you a ride home, if you want," Carl said sympathetically.
"No. I want to be here. Actually… I DON'T want to be
here. I want to be HERE," Michael said, pointing at the large-scale map of
the lands of Aragnatha lying on the table. "I'd rather be Tilara."
A moment of silence followed.
"I hesitate to say it, but I don't know if it's healthy
burying yourself in fantasy if you have more pressing real-world problems,"
Phil started. "The issues aren't going to go away, and ignoring them just
allows them to fester."
"You're one to talk there, Phil. When was the last time
you had a date?" Larry pointed out.
"Look… I'm a fat, middle-aged geek-boy. Where, EXACTLY,
are the ladies that are interested in such a catch, Larry? I'm not here
avoiding my reality. I'm here because this is more entertaining than sit-coms.
It seems obvious to me that Michael needs to fess up to the fact that he's…
well… gay at least, and most likely some variation on transgendered,
considering his propensity for playing female characters. With that truth may
come the courage to face his reality, and make it what he needs it to be,"
Phil orated.
"What about you? You're playing a female character as
well, Phil. Does that make YOU gay or transgendered?" Larry returned.
Carl and Andrea seemed nearly confounded by this exchange.
"True, I play a female character, but if you recall, my
characters have not CONSISTANTLY been female. This is not wish-fulfillment for
me, it's simply stretching my role-playing repertoire," Phil argued.
"It doesn't matter why I play these characters. I could
never go through transition. My dad would kill me. I have nightmares about it
all the time," Michael said softly.
Andrea circled around the back of the table and stood behind
Michael, hugging him. Phil and Larry, being well beyond the age of the two
younger players, simply watched. Larry made a vague attempt at comforting
Michael by patting his arm, but in general felt lame. Neither knew how to
handle interaction with a young man so open with his emotions. They'd both
grown up in an era where being a man meant sucking it up and not showing your
feelings.
Larry quickly lost interest in the human drama, and began readying
his books and papers.
Phil sat watching as the two high school kids walked to the
staircase and sat down. He contemplated the difference in Andrea's gruff
presentation and her affection and sensitivity toward Michael's plight.
"We really can call the game for one night if you don't
feel up to being here," Phil said to the two at the stairs.
He thought that maybe it would be better if the two went off
to Andrea's house, giving Michael some time to think.
"No. Really, I want to play… Just give me a few
minutes, okay?" Michael mumbled.
Michael rarely seemed enthused about anything. A few times
in the game, Phil thought he'd seen real excitement in the young man's eyes.
Otherwise he seemed to live in a constant state of apathy. Phil's own experience
as "the fat kid" gave him some appreciation for what Michael was
going through, but he had no idea what the constant torment of being a
"girly-boy" or whatever, was like.
"I can't even imagine a kid being openly gay when I
grew up," Larry said quietly to Phil. "Really… I can't imagine being
gay, for that matter."
"Some kind of homophobia there, Larry?" Phil asked
lightly.
"No… come on, man. In college, I experimented with…
well… virtually everything: drugs, sex, religion. There's a point where you
just know you don't like something. Thinking about doing guys just does nothing
for me," Larry said, somewhat flushed.
"Carl… what's your take on all this?" Phil threw a
glance sideways at Carl, sitting at the far end of the table.
He'd been staring intently at something behind the DM
screen.
"Sorry… what?" He snapped back to reality.
"Did you ever think you'd live to see the day when
youth were able to be openly gay in the public school system? I mean, you're
from about the same age group as Larry and I, right?" Phil questioned.
"Honestly?" Carl took a breath and exhaled.
"I didn't grow up in the American school system. But, in my homeland,
homosexuality wasn't all that well accepted either. I guess like here, it's
something of an individual basis, but the culture just didn't really approve.
Maybe with the exception of the extremely wealthy, where it was almost
something of a status symbol," Carl stated, still rather distracted.
"And where ARE you from? I never caught any accent from
you," Larry interrogated.
"Why, Mr. Carroll… I am from the MYSTERIOUS lands of
Aragnatha!" Carl said with a horribly campy over-exaggerated gesture that
nearly sent both players at the table into fits of laughter.
Andrea and Michael returned to the table. Michael held the
cold can of soda to his swollen eye.
"So, if your character isn't wish-fulfillment, what is
it?" Larry asked Phil.
"Nightshade? I was brought up in a strict southern
Baptist home. Nightshade is my look at the world through the eyes of a person
not fettered with all the moral baggage I was given," Phil stated.
Carl raised an eyebrow, impressed with how gracefully Phil
had summed up the genesis of his character.
"Why female then?" Larry continued.
"I think someone as sneaky as Nightshade would have more
innate power as a female. It's easier to sneak into some place if people take
you to be harmless. It's also easier to seduce the people in power, which are
usually male. And what about Hroken? Why did you make him?" Phil returned
the question to Larry.
"I don't know. It's my first divine spell caster, but
at heart, I can't get away from wanting to hack the shit out of beasties. So,
I decided to play a cleric of a God of War. Maybe the dwarf thing is a bit
connected to being tired of being skinny. I know you bitch about your
childhood, and how you got reamed for being overweight. I got it at least as
bad for being rail-thin. At least when you're fat, you have the mass and muscle
to kick some ass. I took Kung-Fu for six years after high school just to regain
some sense of personal security," Larry admitted.
"You know, Larry, you're the only player running a
character that matches their actual physical gender in this game?" Carl
interjected.
"Yeah, I had thought about that once, and what it said
about our group. Since you picked the players, maybe you have a better idea why
that happened." Larry returned the ball to Carl's court.
"I knew Michael would play a female character. I
actually expected others to play characters that matched their own
gender," Carl admitted.
"So, Why did you play a male character, Andy?"
Larry looked at the young woman across the table.
"Because I wanted to play a big, intimidating motherfucker.
I'm not talking about like Xena. I wanted someone who people would fear just by
looking at. That, and I wanted someone with a huge raging wanker." She
added for shock value.
The table erupted with laughter. Even Michael managed a
smile.
"Forgive me if this question sounds stupid, but you
told Michael you preferred the term 'Stone Butch'. What exactly does that
mean?" Larry asked Andrea.
"Well, it's like… I love women. I mean, they drive me
nuts, but I only want to be the one doing the touching and stuff. I don't want
them to touch me back." She explained.
"Why?" Larry asked, honestly curious.
"I don't know. Maybe it's some freaky control thing.
Some of it is I don't really want to be reminded that I have the… The parts I
have." She said, trailing off a little.
"You don't want to be female?" Larry pressed.
"I mean…" Andrea stalled, looking at the others.
"No, not really. It sucks, the whole being on the rag thing. And like, I
get no respect as a girl. Plus… there are a lot more hetero chicks than
dykes," She added.
Somewhere inside, she felt like she was breaking some sacred
lesbian oath. Men are bad, being a man is bad, wanting to be a man is bad, but
it was how she felt. She'd spent the last two years accepting she was a
lesbian, and finding a safe haven in their collective arms. There was the sense
of belonging to a real community, and her statement was like an admission that
some of their rhetoric was bullshit, and moreover, she was not truly one of
them. She stared down, feeling vaguely like some part of her world was eroding
at the edges.
"What does that make you?" Larry asked.
"I…" Andrea was totally at a loss.
"It makes her a human, like the rest of us. We all face
confusion and the difficulty of coming to grips with who we are. She's still in
the process. Why try pigeonholing her into a label?" Phil jumped in.
"Sounds like you're a trans-man," Michael said
softly.
Andrea looked across the table at her friend, meeting his
gaze, but saying nothing.
"What the hell is a trans-man?" Larry asked,
somewhat confused by the new term.
"Well, transsexuals go both ways, you know? Men become
women, and women become men. Trans-men would be the counterpart to M-t-F's…
umm, that's 'Male-to-Females'. They are F-t-M's… Female-to-Males." Michael
stated.
He usually spoke with little force of presence in his
manner. Here, he showed a bit of confidence in his statement.
"Damn! It sounds like we're not the first to bring to
your attention that you have transgendered tendencies," Larry stated.
"No. Look… I know I'm a boy. I know people think I'm
gay, but I don't think I'm gay. I know gay guys. I get hit on by them all the
time. I give off the vibe or something, but there is a fundamental difference
between me and them," Michael explained.
"And that is…?" Larry cajoled.
"They want to keep their penis. I don't. I admit I like
boys, but the thought of doing it with boys as a boy does nothing for me. I
want to be… well, I want to be a girl. No… that's not exactly true. In some
ways, I AM a girl. I mean, when I sleep, I dream of being with guys as a girl.
I relate to other girls better than I do with boys. I mean, even you and Phil,
I see it in your eyes when I'm around. Something about me makes you both
uncomfortable," He pointed out.
"I have to admit, I don't know how to read you most of
the time, Michael… but I'm not disturbed by you. And I certainly don't dislike
you," Phil assured his young friend.
"Yeah. Do you think Phil and I would be here every
Wednesday to game with you if you freaked us out?" Larry verified.
"I guess not," Michael conceded.
A moment of silence followed.
"Well… if we're all done with our little 'psychology of
role-playing 101', perhaps we could get on with the game?" Carl stated
lightheartedly.
The players shuffled briefly through their character sheets
and notes, reading up on events from the previous game. Phil, in particular
rifled through copious notes. The others mostly spent a few minutes
reacquainting themselves with the nuances of their characters.
"We ready?" Carl asked after a few minutes.
The chorus of positive replies told him it was show time.
"Okay. Last game you all discovered that there may be
an heir to the throne in Hron-Borin, a daughter of the king, somewhere in the
High Mountains to the North and West. Kulnak, this is your old stomping ground,
and not too far from Hrokin's Clan. You've all been hoofing it for nearly a
week. The mountains loom near, and the Wandering Plains sweep out to your East.
The severe winter had forced many of the mountain's inhabitants into the plains
in search of food, and two encounters with goblin raiders went fairly easily.
Because of these raids though, you've been keeping watch at night, rotating
shifts. The order I have listed is …Nightshade, then Kulnak, then Tilara, and
finally Hrokin taking last shift and doing morning prayer then." Carl
stopped briefly, rolling some dice from behind the screen.
"Tilara, on your shift, the light of the small fire
seems to be reflecting off something glistening some forty feet or so away,
sort of hidden in the high grass," Carl stated.
"Is it like the eye of an animal or something? How tall
does this thing look?" Michael asked.
"No, not like an eye, and lying close to the ground.
It's reflecting greenish light. Perhaps an emerald or some such," Carl
baited.
Michael sighed.
"Okay, I gather my spear and creep over to where I see
the reflection, trying to move as quietly as possible. Maybe I'll get a chance
to pocket some juicy gem like Nightshade did," Michael said, throwing a
glance at Phil.
"That's out of game knowledge, remember. No one caught
her," Phil interjected.
"No, but we suspect," Larry said flatly.
"Okay, Tilara. Give me a 'Move Silently' roll,"
Carl requested, looking at something in his notes.
Michael shook his purple D20, and dropped it. The die came
up reading 16. He looked at his character sheet.
"Seventeen total," He stated. "What is this
thing?"
Carl set an elaborate jeweled artifact on the table from
behind the screen. It appeared to be an intricately carved horseshoe-shaped
item, crafted of gold, with a great shining emerald set at the top of the arch.
Along each side, other emeralds were placed, smaller, yet still beautiful. The
group looked en masse at the item with fascination. Carl brought some beautiful
props to the game, but this was a new level of realism.
"Whoa," Larry stated, thoroughly impressed.
"Wow… Carl! Dude… is this REAL?" Andrea asked.
Michael reached forward and picked up the item, holding it
for a moment. In his mind there was a sudden feeling of drunken disorientation.
Chapter 2: What Passes for Reality
He held the beautiful trinket but realized the lights in the
room had gone out. No… not entirely. Behind him was a dim orange flickering
flame. He now stood in high grass. He looked away from the golden arch, up at
the sky. The totality of darkness made the stars stand out perfectly. His eyes
seemed to drink in the starlight. Never before had they seemed so vivid. He
turned to see three figures sleeping around a tiny fire. Michael's mind glitched
for a moment. He had totally immersed himself in the story. He listened, trying
to hear Carls voice as it described the scene. There was no voice, only the
whistling of the wind and the rustling of the high grass in the light breeze.
He looked again at the item, moving closer to the fire.
Faint crackles and pops sputtered from the burning wood. He instinctively
brushed the fine silk robes beneath him as he sat on the vacant bedroll. His
body felt odd. He tore his mind away from the object, and stared at his hands.
They were fine and delicate. The nails were short, extending only slightly over
the tips of the fingers, and had no polish. Still, they appeared buffed nearly
to a shine. On his slender forearms were arm guards made of brilliantly
polished steel, traced with etchings inlaid in gold.
"My Magical Bracers," he thought absently to
himself.
He set the spear down and touched his face. His nose was
fine and narrow, slightly upturned at the tip. His lips were large and soft.
His jaw was narrow and ended in a delicate chin. He stopped for a moment, then
hesitantly ran his hands slowly up the jaw again to the ear. In the lobe was a
hoop earring. He traced his hand farther, and realized that his ear ended in
small point. He broke out into laughter, and flopped back on his bedroll. He
was a half-elf! He was Tilara. Lying there, he confirmed the rest of the
anatomy. Small breasts rested on his… HER chest. She reached for her crotch
through the soft robes, and found no trace of a bulge. Her breathing
accelerated… she felt like she might hyperventilate. She forced herself to take
deep breaths. She'd said that she wanted to be here, and now she was. She took
stock of the items around her. Her backpack, her spear… and perched on a small
wooden stand was a red tail hawk, sound asleep. She smiled deeply at the
thought. She listened to the nearby mule shift it's footing. She could smell
the late spring grass, the mule… the other people with her.
She sprang back to her feet.
"Wake up!" she screamed.
The still figures launched into a flurry of action. To her
left, Nightshade reflexively rolled into a kneeling position, and fumbled to
knock an arrow. Across the fire, Kulnak sprang to his feet, a bit wobbly, still
half asleep, but with sense of mind to grab his axe. Hrokin grabbed his shield,
as well as his war hammer. Tilara laughed with excitement and amusement.
"Stay calm. We are not under attack, my friends. I
simply wanted to enlighten you to our new surroundings," She said.
The voice was foreign to her, as was her own accent and
manner of speech. Somewhere in her head, she realized she was speaking a
language other than English. She nearly laughed again. "Trade Tongue"
or "Common" as it was sometimes called. She stopped and thought for a
moment, then spoke a short poem in Elven. She thought that by all the stars in
heaven, certainly it was the most beautiful language she'd ever heard. The
others stared at her as if she'd gone mad.
"Aye… well… now that I'm up, I'd best go put out that
brush fire," Kulnak said in his thick native accent.
He waded through the grass a ways off, yawning like a waking
bear, and scratching his ass. He relieved himself with a great sigh. Hrokin
chuckled his deep guttural laugh at the crudeness of his comrade.
"What's got you all up and excited, Tilara?" He
finally said, after scanning around their camp.
"We're HERE, Larry…," she stated, looking the
dwarf in the eyes, waiting for the moment of recognition.
Tilara suddenly felt a moment of panic. Perhaps she alone
would remember who they really were. Perhaps she alone had been transported.
Again she felt her breaths coming faster. She looked imploringly into the eyes
of the dwarf. His stout frame was heavily muscled. His long black beard was
peppered with gray. He wore only a nightshirt, but held a large metal shield
with signs of heavy usage. His thick hand gripped the leather-wrapped haft of a
war hammer. He looked at her somewhat suspiciously, furrowing his brow, trying
to remember. Tilara watched the emotions play across his course features.
"We were talking before… Someone had struck you in the
face. You're eye was swollen." He strained to remember.
"That's right. You're real name is Larry Carroll,"
she stated in a soft voice.
Her heart slowed somewhat.
"I have no idea what you're going on about. If you two
want to speak in some odd code, then feel free, but keep it down. I want to
sleep. And see to it that you issue no more false alarms, half-blood,"
Nightshade warned coldly.
Tilara stared at her. She was… beautiful. She wore a linen
tunic and breeches, and through the material could be seen a soft and shapely
form which was unmistakably female. Tilara wondered if she looked even half
that good. Nightshade plopped back down in the bed of high grass lined with a
bedroll, covered herself with a light blanket, and went back to sleep.
Something else Nightshade had said… "half-blood".
Tilara remembered her life before meeting the others. She'd been cast out by
the elves, and raised by a small settlement of humans. But… she was really
Michael. She looked into the eyes of Hrokin. He studied her face.
"Are your realities colliding?" he asked her
softly. She only nodded.
"Nightshade and Kulnak don't seem to remember,"
she said sadly.
"By the bright sky! I have a HUGE wanker!" came
the bellow from Kulnak off in the weeds.
The sadness in Tilara was replaced with a shock of laughter.
Hrokin just smiled and shook his head.
"What an idiot," he muttered.
"Shut UP!" Nightshade screeched from under her
blanket.
"Honestly, this thing is a beast," Kulnak said,
coming back toward the camp.
He was tugging his leather breeches, and hiking his leg up
every other step, trying to adjust his manhood.
"I need a damned third leg in me pants!" he
roared, looking honestly surprised.
"If you don't stop playing with yourself, I'll pound
that gardener snake of yours flat!" Hrokin said, almost laughing.
"It'd take a bigger hammer than THAT. I mean,
seriously, this thing's a monster!" Kulnak exclaimed.
Tilara could see the bulge in the leg of his breeches. It
looked at least eight inches long. She didn't think it was anywhere near fully
erect either. She felt herself blush momentarily, and looked away.
"Kulnak… Do you know anyone named Andrea?" Hrokin
asked.
"Andrea? … Andrea…" He wracked his brain. "It
has a familiar ring to it, but I can't place it."
"It's you, Kulnak. You're real name is Andrea. Think.
Think hard," Hrokin demanded.
"What are you going on about? Look, I know I'm not all
book-learned, but I know my name. It is, and has always been Kulnak," he
stated flatly.
"Why are you suddenly so fascinated with your manhood
then?" Hrokin asked.
"I don't know, it's just so…" Kulnak paused.
"New? Different?" Hrokin suggested.
"In a way, I guess. I'm not used to…" Kulnak's
jovial expression melted. "Damn. Damn it all. Andrea is a girl in a dark
cellar, sitting at a table with four men. I see her now. But it doesn't seem
like me. It's like a tale I was told long ago, about a world where there are
carriages drawn by no horse, and great steel birds." Kulnak looked
troubled.
"Well, that's our world, Kulnak… or was. I wonder how
long we'll be here?" Hrokin stated, thoughtfully stroking the hairs of his
beard.
He stopped for a moment and lifted a great handful of the
masterfully braided beard hair to examine it. Satisfied with the results, he
dropped the braids, and went on about examining himself.
Kulnak returned to his bedroll and quickly fell back to
sleep.
"I thought somehow that everyone would be as excited as
me, but those two don't seem much to care… almost like this was little more
than some amusing puzzle. Why am I so clearly aware of who I am… or was, and
the other two are so oblivious?" Tilara pondered quietly.
"You were awake when the … manifestation
occurred," he surmised.
"And you?" Tilara looked the priest in the eyes.
"I don't know. Perhaps it has to do with our strength
of will. With my years of meditation and connection with Mahnook… Maybe I have
better tools to see across the gulf," he contemplated.
It didn't matter overmuch to Tilara why Hrokin was so
clearly aware, only that he was. She thought this might be easier to handle
with someone else understanding it. Hrokin busied himself with retrieving paper
and quill from his scroll case. Tilara watched curiously.
"Hrokin… you still have a few more hours if you wish to
return to your slumber," she said softly.
"I fear sleep will only wipe away more of the memories
of my past. I wish to capture as many of them as possible before I go back off
to sleep. I don't think it's fair for Larry to fade from my memory. Perhaps it
would be wise for you to do the same," he pointed out.
Tilara saw the wisdom in this, and retrieved her own writing
utensils. She drew out pages from her scroll case, as well as a piece of lead
for writing. She tapped it against the paper, waiting for the memories to
return, then began to write.
"My name is Michael Dickinson.
I am seventeen years old and attend Marshal High School in Zanesville,
Ohio.
I like Manga Comics, and video games.
I have an older brother, Todd. He's a jock ass-hole.
I think, deep down inside that maybe I'm a girl.
I get beat up regularly at school because people think I'm
gay."
Tilara stopped for a moment. She again tapped the lead
against the page.
"I hate my life."
She sat staring off into the darkness of the night. Maybe
she was made to remember so she would appreciate what she was given. Maybe… It
didn't matter why. She put the writing lead away. She stared at the list of
facts from her other life. She sat, thinking long and hard, trying to remember
all the things that she would miss. Her cat… She almost laughed. It was the
only thing really bothering her at the moment. She kissed the sheet of paper,
and tossed it into the fire.
"So little that you'll miss, Michael?" Hrokin
asked.
"Yeah. I really rather wish I had been asleep during
the crossing. I think I could get used to this life very quickly," Tilara
replied.
She sat down beside Hrokin. His demeanor was often gruff,
stern, hard like the stone he was raised around, but she needed to be close to
someone right now.
"It's alright. I like you better this way," he
said, smiling.
He put an arm around her, and she leaned against his massive
frame. Somewhere in the back of Hrokin's mind, he thought what an odd scene
this made. A dwarven cleric hugging a half elf. It didn't matter. He held clan
and family sacred, and there was no doubt in his mind that this woman was his
family.
Tilara stayed awake another hour or so, then wandered over
to her bedroll and lay down to sleep.
…
Hrokin spent the next few minutes putting his armor back on,
strapping the thick metal plates in various places. The creaking of leather
straps and rattling of metal didn't wake his allies, for which he was grateful.
They needed their rest. This could be a tough period of adjustment for them
all.
He stared at the fire, feeding it as needed. Several times,
he stood up and stretched his legs. He felt somewhat out of place in his new
form. His thick, stout body was only slightly more than four feet by his
reckoning, but the heavy musculature put him at over a hundred and seventy pounds.
If his body matched the statistics listed on the fictitious character sheet
from the game, he was every bit as strong as Kulnak. Certainly, he felt that he
could move easily enough, even in the fifty pounds of armor he donned. Night
wore on, and eventually, the faint glow of dawn crept up.
As the sun crested the plains to the East, he knelt in
reverence, and gave homage to the great Mahnook, protector of his clan, and
bearer of the mighty hammer, Brathnar foe-crusher. He spoke his vows every
morning at dawn, and humbly asked for the power to smite his enemies, whatever
form they may take.
It was at this moment that Hrokin realized what being a
priest meant. He was flooded with the sense that Mahnook looked upon him with
favor. He lay prostrate, humble before his God, and awash with Mahnook's power.
He stood when finished, nearly in tears. He never knew… perhaps more
accurately, Larry never knew, the great sense of belonging this brought.
He thought back to the wee hours of the morning, when Tilara
had tossed her paper into the fire. He understood more now what motivated that
action.
Tilara's bird shifted on its perch, and fluttered open it's
eyes. It leapt into the morning sky and sped off in search of food. Hrokin knew
it wouldn't wander far. It had some mystical bond to her. They never wandered
too far from one another.
Hrokin went about building the fire up for breakfast. In a
small pot he heated water. When it began to boil, he scooped two handfuls of
oats from the feed sack and dropped them in, stirring the thickening paste.
…
Kulnak sat up, blinking.
"I just dreamed of a strange world, and of sweet bubbly
liquid the color of piss," he said somewhat absentmindedly.
Hrokin found his simple manner fairly amusing. He knew some
humans had culture, but Kulnak came from wandering tribes. He was simpler. He
was likely to say exactly what was on his mind, without thinking first. In some
ways, Hrokin found that a refreshing trait.
Kulnak stood and stretched. His ribs cracked at the sternum,
as did his shoulders and back. He rolled his neck a few times, then turned away
from the small camp. He covered one nostril and blew hard, discharging the
contents of his nose on the weeds, then repeated the process with the other
side. It sounded like a goose honking.
Over his leather jerkin, he pulled a shirt of quilted
baffling. Over that, he pulled on his shirt of chainmail. Next, he put on his
belt, including two throwing axes. Finally, he slung his quiver and picked up
the massive composite bow he'd fashioned himself. He briefly looked into the
pot on the fire.
"I'm off to hunt. If I can't find something, I may eat
some of your glue." He smiled, patting Hrokin on the shoulder.
He sped off through the high grass, running toward a knoll
several hundred yards off. Unlike the others, this was not so much the wilds
for Kulnak, as it was his home. The others were accustomed to being in large
communities. The noise in such places was insufferable to Kulnak. He reached
his destination, atop the small knoll. He looked all about, checking for the
smoke of other fires. He could see something faint to the East, but it was so
far away, it didn't concern him. He watched the grass, looking for movement not
made by the wind.
He felt somewhat distracted, finding his mind sliding back
to a dream. He saw a world where huge steel birds with their bellies full of
people roamed the sky. He had dreamed of a conversation last night with Hrokin
about someone. He remembered something about a girl.
He looked at his large hands, covered in calluses. At over
six feet tall, he towered over everyone else in the group, nearly a head taller
than even Nightshade.
Now there was a beautiful woman, he thought. The mere
reminder of her stirred something in his pants. He laughed. If he tried
anything with her, she'd likely have his snake for a trophy. That only left
Tilara. She was every bit as lovely as Nightshade, and certainly more friendly,
but there was something about her that didn't fire his blood. It was like she
was more of a sister to him than a piece of ass.
He felt a need to protect her. Certainly, she'd shown the
ability to bewitch people with some charm, and he had wondered if he himself
had fallen for such devilry, but he thought not. They had been together too
long. His feelings for her were his own. She also seemed of too gentle a nature
to use her comrades that way.
The grass stirred some fifty feet off. He stared intently.
His strong shoulders drew the bow. It creaked under the tension. He saw a brief
glimpse of brownish fur, and let the shaft fly. There was no more rustling in
the brush. He walked over to the spot where his arrow had landed, searching the
weeds. He found his shaft buried in the ground, with no game skewered. Then,
near his foot, he saw a small brown rabbit trembling, paralyzed with fear. He
reached down slowly and put his fingers around the neck of the young rabbit.
With a quick twist of his wrist, the rabbit was dead. It would do for
breakfast.
He withdrew a small blade from his belt, expertly field-dressing
the animal. He tied its back legs together with a leather chord and started
back to camp. He emitted a piercing whistle into the morning air. Tilara's bird
knew that the sound meant if it hadn't caught its own game, it was free to
share Kulnak's. The rabbit was small, but would be enough for everyone to have
a bite for breakfast, including the hawk.
…
Nightshade awoke to a familiar whistle. Either Kulnak or Red
had just caught some breakfast. She lay on her belly looking at the campfire.
She watched Hrokin dump raisins into the pot on the fire. She realized her
chest hurt from laying on it. She found it odd that she'd unconsciously rolled
into this position. She sat up, trying to recapture something she'd been
dreaming.
She felt small and weak. She was by far the least muscular
of the group. Even Tilara was reasonably well built, for a girl at least. But
Nightshade suffered from having a very feminine, soft body. While it worked as
a great asset in some situations, it was horrible for lugging her necessities
through the wilderness. She smelled bad, and felt that she needed a bath. She
hated the wilds, but could not deny that it was incredibly lucrative when they
managed to find some unlooted ruins. She slid into the skintight black leather
bodysuit that passed for armor. She tightened the straps around her ribs and on
her thighs. She then proceeded to slip on her soft boots, and tighten the
laces. She finished with her archery bracers. Hrokin looked up from the pot.
"Interested?" he asked, motioning toward the
oatmeal. She shrugged and dug in her pack for a wooden spoon.
"It's always after about a week on the trail that I
want to go crazy. I get really sick of oatmeal, nuts, and dried fruit. The elfy-girl
there seems to be happy with that fare indefinitely. I think if it weren't for Kulnak's
carnivorous streak, I'd go totally over the edge. Let's just hope it isn't
skunk he's coming back with," She said with a wicked grin.
"Nightshade… do you remember anything odd happening
last night?" Hrokin asked.
"I remember Tilara waking us up for no good reason. Is
that what you mean?" she asked, in a bit of a nasty tone.
"Yes. Do you remember why she woke us up then?"
Hrokin prodded.
"No. I'll never understand the way of elves, and the
elf-blood is thick in her, even if she is a half-breed. Plus, she has that witchy
way about her." Nightshade eyed the sleeping half-elf.
Hrokin paused, trying to find a better approach. He finally
decided on the direct one.
"Do you know someone named Phil Johnson?" he pressed.
It took him a minute to pull the name up himself. He feared
the memories would fade even more if not constantly accessed.
"Never heard of him. Why?" she returned, seeming
disinterested.
"Bear with me. Try very hard to remember the
name." Hrokin watched her as she sat back, thinking.
She absently licked oatmeal from her spoon. Her eyes moved,
looking off into nothingness. Then, a brief flash of something crossed her
face, her brow furrowed, and she frowned.
"No. I don't remember anyone by that name." She
stated, standing up.
Hrokin was almost certain she was lying, but simply looked
down at the thickening paste in the pot. He pulled it off the fire. Kulnak
wandered back into the small camp with his catch, followed by Tilara's bird,
Red.
"I'm up!" Tilara mumbled, as if responding to
someone calling her name. "Yes, Red, that's great, dead rabbit."
She sat up, rubbing her eyes. Red perched on Kulnak's thigh,
which was protected from the sharp talons by his chain shirt. Kulnak cut strips
of flesh from the small rabbit and fed them to Red.
Tilara sat, watching. She thought that Kulnak often seemed
more comfortable with animals than with people. Even so, his seemingly peaceful
nature was at odds with the utter heartlessness of his hunting… and particularly
with the savagery of his fighting. Maybe he was simply a true predator.
Nightshade had crept away silently from the others, and
squatted in the high grass, trying to relieve herself. Something was wrong.
She'd never felt so odd. Her life and livelihood were all built around her
utter flowing grace, and yet now, for some reason, she found herself feeling
out of sorts. Hrokin's bidding to remember "Phil" had awakened a
sense in her that over her shoulder, a disapproving eye was watching. She had
lived her life building impenetrable shields around her conscience. She allowed
herself to be judged by no one. Do whatever it takes to get ahead in life. That
had been her moral compass. Now, she had been infected with some sick sense of
morality.
Her eyes scanned the horizon instinctively, and the sight of
riders approaching drove off her thoughts. She could see perhaps half a dozen
riders, but could make out no other details at this range. She finished her
business and crawled on her belly back to the small camp.
The others looked at her with amusement as she returned. She
didn't say anything. She only began to hastily don her sword belt, sling her
arrows and retrieve her bow. Finally she spoke.
"Six riders to the East. I'm going to circle South to
flank them, in the event they want to make trouble," she stated softly.
She didn't wait for approval of her plan by the others.
Chapter Three: The Color of Blood
Tilara found a piece of cured leather in her right hand
almost before she was aware why she'd retrieved it. The riders were barely to
be seen at this range, but experience had taught her she should get her
protections in order before things had a chance to get ugly.
"Misnah nath, kell hathuin," she muttered softly.
Her left hand was held with index, middle, and pinky fingers
extended, the ring finger folded. With a soft pushing motion, she completed the
incantation. A floodgate in her mind opened and arcane energies erupted forth.
She felt the fine hairs on her body waiver, creating a tickling sensation.
Though she could not see it, she knew a layer of force enshrouded her. This sorcerous
armor would endure for hours, by which time she felt certain that this
potential conflict would pass.
Hrokin glanced briefly over toward her, but seemed occupied
with the winching mechanism used to cock his massive crossbow. He expertly
loaded the weapon in less than ten seconds.
Kulnak stood watching the riders approach. He drew out an
arrow marked with red fletchings. The head was not made to pierce, but rather
to emit a shrill whistle. Wandering tribes often kept encounters from becoming
deadly simply by warning each other off with such arrows. If an approaching
group still wanted to make trade, or speak, they would send one representative.
He gauged the wind and waited. They rode fast, and in only seconds they would
be within reach of his mighty bow.
The arrow soared off, screaming as it went. It would come
nowhere near to the riders, but still close enough for them to hear. Kulnak
waited for them to rein in their mounts. There was no such luck. The riders
spurred their horses, and charged ahead. The steppe riders of these parts, as
hunters of men, were brutally efficient and very fast.
"Tilara," Kulnak said, "maybe you need to
persuade them more strongly."