Changing of the Guard
By Maddie Valasek
Part Three
“Errr. Errr. Errr. Errr,” rang my stupid alarm
clock.
I hate mornings. I really hate dark mornings before the sun
comes up. I really really hate waking up from strange dreams on dark mornings
before the sun comes up. Last night’s was probably the strangest I’ve ever
had. “What a weird dream,” I said to no one in particular. I began going back
over it, thinking it must have some meaning.
We had just moved to a different state so Dad could finally
take the job he had been wanting for a long time. I started at a new school
and met a couple girls while taking care of a photography assignment. I
finished my assignment but decided to hang around and see what the thing was
all about. I even helped out a little.
Somehow helping them with a broken dummy landed me in a
dress. No big deal right? Well, in getting the dress I was wearing to fit
properly and get a good idea of how the costume would turn out, I ended up with
fake breasts, full make-up and, looking like a really cute girl. To make things
worse, Joe linebacker and his friend showed up.
Next thing I know, I’m redressed, like a girl again, and
eating dinner with the girls and the two guys. Strangely enough, I found that I
was actually enjoying it. Weird. There was an unfortunate moment in there where
my mouth said a few things it shouldn’t. Instead of slamming the door on my
would be Romeo, my mutinous tongue left the door open a crack. Fortunately, the
girl he was talking to would be gone in a few hours, or so I thought.
The stars seemed to conspire against me with my clothes
being locked in theater arts building, someone forgetting the adhesive remover,
and all the rest of my clothes being burned or donated to the local Goodwill.
Wow, that is weird, you say? Just wait there’s more.
You would think that parents would be surprised to come home
and see their son with makeup on and wearing undoubtedly feminine clothes. Not
mine, nope. They were way too cool about the whole thing in a creepy
I-was-expecting-this-kind-of-thing way. I wasn’t sure whether that was a good
thing or a bad thing. I was glad not to be in trouble, but a little surprise
couldn’t have hurt.
I survived that whole mess and went to school the next day,
hoping that things would return to normal. I still had those breasts glued to
my chest and had to stop at my new job to fill out the paperwork part of
things. I did my best to try and hide my more feminine attributes but a
temporary loss of concentration let my new boss see them. Great, now I had to
deal with that whole situation. The dream was starting to suck.
Most of the rest of the day was a nice normal day until I
met up with my new friends again. One of them managed to get me to join an all
girl Colorguard. On top of that a lot of people were referring to me as she
even though I was in full guy mode. That’ll bruise your masculinity. While we
were eating dinner, I brought the subject up to my friends and got surprised by
them saying they saw me as a girl as well.
Some heavy-duty thinking was required, so I had them take me
home as I tried to figure out what was going on. A nice conversation with my
Mom and Dad brought some very strange information to light. According to them I
had basically lived as a girl until I started school but I couldn’t remember.
Things had gotten so bad with the school and other parents
that, at my request, Mom and Dad found a hypnotist to block the more painful
memories. Recent events caused us to rethink that action. I decided that I
wanted those memories back. They agreed and I was given a serious mental
download.
‘Wait a minute,’ I thought, ‘if that was a dream, why do I
still have all those memories?”
My mind began racing at around nine billion miles and hour.
I jumped out of bed quicker than I had ever managed before and turned my light
on. I wasn’t in my room. Well, I wasn’t in my old room; I was in my new one.
The one that is unfortunately very empty on the account of everything being
donated. I was wearing the same lace trimmed pants and girly t.
‘Aww, crap. That wasn’t a dream,’ I thought.
I should have realized that sooner. My imagination isn’t
anywhere near capable of making something like that up. Last night I had gone
to bed just trying to get my mind around all those new memories. Evidently, I
still was trying. It felt like there was two of me running around inside my
head. The trick would be figuring out which is real and which one is the
imposter. Will the real Jules McCloud please stand up?
The thought of sliding back into bed and pulling the covers
over my head was tempting but I decided to get started on my normal routine. I
figured that it would be better to stick to it since so much else was changing.
The last two days had been crazy, so I was a little nervous about what the new
day would bring.
A nice warm shower is always a great way to start the day.
The only problem is that I tend to want to stay in that warm shower for way too
long. It was especially difficult to get out this time. All the stuff bouncing
around in my head kept distracting me and I would forget what I was supposed to
be doing. I ended up washing my hair twice and conditioning it three times. At
least I could say, without any question, My hair was clean.
The water started getting cold so I shut it off, feeling
guilty about using up all the hot water. I hoped it would be a while before
Mom or Dad needed it. As I was drying off, I took the opportunity to take a
good look at myself. All I could see was a boy with long hair. Maybe I was a
little thin but still masculine enough. Then the strangest thought popped into
my head. I realized that I didn’t really like looking like a boy.
Whoa, hold on there, Silver. Are those new old memories
messing with my head that much? I thought about that for a few minutes. I had
never been very enthused about my body. It’s not that I hated it. I just tried
to ignore it. Thinking about it or looking at it longer than I had to, was
something I tried not to do. I guess I was just trying to avoid the issue that
was buried deep inside.
Now that those old memories were free, I was going to have
to deal with the whole sticky situation. That meeting with the school board had
left its impression and I was in no hurry to go running back into that
catastrophe.
“Do I even feel the same way now?” I asked myself.
“That’s a really good question, do I?” I replied.
I did mention I have a tendency to talk to myself, right?
It’s one of my more adorable flaky personality traits. At least, that’s what I
hope it is and not a sign of mental instability. The honest answer was that I
just didn’t know. My old memories were filled with good feelings and a sense of
comfort being a girl. I did enjoy the other evening out at Baja Tacos, too.
But, I’ve spent so long as normal Joe that I’ve gotten used to it.
“Oh man, this isn’t going to be easy,” I commented to my
reflection.
“If it was easy, everyone would do it,” Dad answered from
the doorway.
“Hey, don’t sneak up on me like that,” I said after my heart
dropped back out of my throat.
“Sorry, it’s getting late. You better finish getting
dressed.”
“Yes, Sir. I’ll be down on a minute,” I replied and walked
back to my room.
Here’s the part where I realize that I didn’t do something
kind of important the day before. I was supposed to have gone shopping and
picked out a new wardrobe. I kind of skipped that to deal with my emerging
issues.
‘Now what the heck do I do?’ I thought.
Wearing my only outfit again was out of the question. Not
even I will wear the same thing for three days straight. For one, that’s just
gross. But, most importantly, I just started at a new school. What kind of reputation
would I get if I were seen wearing the same stuff for the third day in a row?
I’m thinking that it wouldn’t be good.
What did that leave me? Going naked wasn’t legal
so I passed on that idea. How about wearing my jeans and one of Dad’s shirts?
Eww, a third day in those jeans? I don’t even want to think about that. How
about run to a store and pick up something new for today. Not bad, what time is
it? Crap, no time for that.
“Well, there are boxes of stuff I could wear,” I said to
myself.
“Yeah, but they’re girls stuff,” I replied.
“There has to be something relatively gender neutral in
there,” I argued.
“Let’s take a look,” I agreed and started going through
boxes, again.
I remembered seeing some t-shirts in one of the boxes and
Brandy’s jeans would fit if I could find them. The shirts were easy to find,
but turned out to be all girl t’s. At that point, I didn’t have any other
options, so I pulled out plain black and plain white versions and threw them on
my bed.
“I hope no one notices,” I mumbled.
It took me a few more minutes to find the box with Brandy’s
jeans in it. I actually had a pretty decent selection to choose from. There
were even a few with the tags still on them. I grabbed one of those and slipped
into them. They fit OK, but were almost as low as the ones Tess had given me.
Not good for gender neutrality or the school’s dress code.
It took a few more tries before a suitable pair could be
found. I found it both distressing and satisfying that they all seemed to fit
me perfectly. I decided against most of them simply because I thought they were
too feminine. The last pair I tried also had the tag still attached. I pulled
it free and looked to see what size it was.
I was surprised to see two things. The first was that I was
a size eight. It had been a while since Brandy was an eight. I know this
because I had to listen to her complain about how she had to buy tens and was
determined to get back into her eights by the time summer came around. I bet
she’d be pretty pissed to find out that I fit in them quite well, thank you
very much.
Umm..., forget I said that. I was lost in the moment or
something. Anyway, the second surprise was that they cost one hundred and ten
dollars! I could get a week’s worth of denim for that price. I checked the
other tags and found that they ranged from a low of fifty bucks to the high of
one ten.
I need to have a nice conversation with Mom and Dad. There
seems to be a large clothing allowance gap and I’m on the low end of the scale.
How unfair is that? In their defense, I have never been one to spend much on
clothes. I tended to lean more towards computer upgrades and photography
accessories. I still think that Brandy was getting the better part of the deal.
I could get a whole new computer for what she had spent on her jeans alone.
I was really starting to run late. I decided to go with the
black T and slipped it over my head. Up to that point, I had thought that all
T-shirts felt the same. Sure some were heavier and thicker but they still felt
basically the same. I was surprised to find that Brandy’s shirt was lot
smoother and softer. It stretched and moved easier, too. Overall, I’d say it
was much better than the stuff I had been wearing.
At that point, I started thinking that maybe girls were on
to something. I definitely felt that what I was wearing was better than my
usual attire. The bad part was that it only served to get me even more confused
about my whole gender thing. I guess it’s time for me to start looking for that
therapist I was hoping to avoid.
It was way past time for me to be downstairs. I was going to
have to skip breakfast if I was going to get to school on time. My regular
hikers would have to do for footwear. Once they were secured I headed back to
the bathroom to finish my hair. All I needed to do was give it a quick comb
through and pull it up. It only took a few seconds to get that done and head
down stairs.
I was almost to the kitchen when I heard Mom and Dad talking
about me. I normally don’t eavesdrop but I couldn’t help myself.
“OK, Connor, so we both agree that Jules has to find his or
her own way and make the decision alone,” Mom said.
“I think that’s the only way to handle this. We’ll support
whatever decision or direction Jules wants to go but we can’t encourage either
gender. If he wants to be Julia again, it has to be because he wants to not
because he thinks we want him to,” Dad replied.
“This is going to be hard. I hope that things turn out
better this time.”
“Hold on, Love. We can’t assume that he’ll want to be Julia
again. He’s had nearly ten years living as a boy and he may want to stay that
way.”
“I know, but I still worry.”
“You’re a Mom. Jules is a very smart kid and has always been
independent. He’s going to go his own way. We just have to let him go there.”
I hadn’t thought about how hard this thing may be on my
parents as well. Nothing like adding a little more pressure to an already
stressful situation. I backtracked a few steps and made an effort to make more
noise so they knew I was coming.
“Morning, Jules. Running a bit late?” Mom asked and gave me
a quick look over. Dad did the same, making me a little nervous.
“Morning, Mom, Dad. Yeah, I had to find something to wear. I
still don’t have anything thing of my own. This doesn’t make me look too much
like a girl, does it?” I asked.
“Maybe a little. Sorry Jules,” Dad answered.
“If it’s any consolation, you look good,” Mom added.
Damn, I hate that we never lie to each other. A little white
lie never hurt anybody, did it? Now I knew I was going to be a nervous wreck
all day. Oh well, too late to do anything about it now.
“It’s OK Dad. It’s not like half the people at school don’t
think I’m a girl anyway. I’ll just give them more to wonder about,” I
responded.
“Sometimes you amaze me, Sweetheart. We do need to get you
some of your own clothes, though. Here’s my credit card. Please don’t go
crazy.”
“Woo hoo, shopping spree!” I joked.
“Why do I get the feeling I just got myself in a lot of
trouble?” Dad questioned.
“I’ll be good. I promise.”
I briefly thought about bringing up the disparity between
the cost of Brandy’s clothes and mine. Better judgment won out and I took Dad’s
card and ran. Literally almost, I was running way late. With a bit of effort, I
made it to class on time, just barely.
*
It was almost lunchtime before I got a chance to catch my
breath. Between the marathon note taking, boring reading assignments, and quizzes,
I was pretty busy. That turned out to be a good thing since it took my mind off
of how I was dressed. I didn’t need to worry about it since no one seemed to
notice I was a guy in girl’s clothes. I probably wouldn’t have thought about it
except for catching a few comments on the way to lunch.
“Dude, look at her,” some guy told his friend.
“Not bad, but she definitely needs more up top,” the leader
of another group announced.
‘So much for not being noticed,’ I thought.
“Great, another Barbie,” an insecure girl said a little
loudly.
The mixture of emotions from those comments was confusing to
say the least. I was nervous and afraid of someone spotting me for a guy and
raising a fuss about it. I was unnerved by the fact that no one was questioning
whether I was a girl or not. They all seemed to assume I was a girl.
Apparently, I made a decent looking one. That actually made me feel good. Ah, I
didn’t just say that out loud did I?
The obvious attention was making me nervous. I felt totally
exposed and vulnerable. A voice I recognized saved me from my own torment.
“Jules? Is that you,” Tom asked.
‘Just play it cool, Jules,’ I reminded myself. “Hi, Tom what
can I do for ya?”
“I...umm...how are doing with the Colorguard pics?” he
stammered.
“Something wrong, Tom?”
I knew he was having trouble with my gender and wasn’t sure
how I should handle it. I should have grabbed the Colorguard out, but my
stressed mind short-circuited and picked up on his hesitation.
“Uhh, you just surprised me, is all.”
“Surprised?”
Damn, another mouth mutiny! What is up with that? Why
couldn’t I just let the silly comment slide?
“I, well, this look suits you,” he recovered.
“Thanks, I thought I’d try something new.” Hey, it’s kind of
true.
“You’re welcome, and I’ve got to talk to Mr. Cooper about
you.”
“Did I do something wrong?” I asked worriedly.
“No, don’t worry. It’s not anything you did. He seems to
think you’re a boy for some reason. That’s why I referred to you in masculine
terms. Can you forgive me?”
Uh oh, now what do I do?
“You’re forgiven. I didn’t even notice. If that makes you
feel any better?”
Dammit, mouth. Will you quit that already? I don’t do well
under pressure do I?
“I just didn’t want to offend you. I’d ask if you’d like to
have lunch with me but I’ve got to get to the journalism room. I’ve got a ton
of work to do.”
“Anything I can help with?” I asked. I guess I just don’t
know when to shut up.
“Actually, I think there is, if you don’t mind giving me a
hand.”
“No problem, I don’t know anybody in this lunch period
anyway. Just let me grab something to eat. I skipped breakfast and now my tummy
is screaming for something.”
What the heck am I doing? Did I just say tummy? It’s gotta
be those old memories. Only a six-year-old girl says tummy. I really need to be
more careful.
“Are you telling me you haven’t made any friends yet?” Tom
questioned.
“No, I have a couple but they have the second lunch,” I
replied.
“That’s OK then. Meet me in the J room when you’re done?”
“Will do. Now, I’ve got to get some food.”
Tom headed for the J room and I went in search of something
to eat. I wasn’t about to touch whatever it was the cafeteria was trying to
pass off as edible. I managed to round up reasonable looking chicken Caesar
salad and an apple. For the record, that would be a normal lunch for me.
Everyone has given me a hard time about my “diet”. They all
say that I don’t need to worry about what I eat since I manage to stay so
skinny. I keep trying to tell them that I’d like to stay that way so I watch
what I eat. It helps that I have naturally boring tastes. I can’t tell you how
my sister hated that.
Anyway, the weather outside was gorgeous, so I decided to
eat in the courtyard. It’s located behind the main building between the gym and
another set of portable buildings. One side is lined with trees and there’s a
small, but pretty, garden-type thing on the opposite side. Overall, it’s a
pleasant place to spend your lunch period.
The staff must have realized it was a nice area because they
had installed a couple benches under the trees. I picked the one that was set
back a bit hoping to stay out of view. I was still nervous about how I was
dressed even though it was turning out to be a non-issue. I at least, could
have a quiet lunch without thinking about it. Well, that was the plan.
I figured that I was out of sight so letting my hair down
wouldn’t be a big deal. Everyone was thinking I was a girl anyway, so I really
wasn’t worried about the dress code Gestapo. A few passes of my comb and I was
feeling much better. Yes, I carry a comb in my bag so no snotty comments,
please. I did mention I’m a bit of a girl, umm ...even before recent
revelations.
I finished off my salad and started going through some of
the product specs Bill had given me. I guess I zoned out and wasn’t paying
attention to what was going on around me. Brian managed to sneak up on me.
“Hi, Julia, how’s it going?” he surprised me.
What is it with everyone sneaking up on me, today? Maybe I
should pay more attention to what’s going on around me. “Oh, hi Brian. It goes.
How about you?” I asked.
He gave me a funny look, “What happened to your accent?”
I had forgotten I had used a bit of southern belle when we
went to dinner. I was surprised that he picked up on the accent but not the
inflection. I wondered if I sounded as much like a girl as I looked. Great,
just another little tid bit I hadn’t been aware of. No wonder I was an outcast.
“Sorry, I was just messing with you the other day. This is
my real voice,” I answered.
“OK, let me get this straight; first, the voice I heard
wasn’t your real voice. Second, you didn’t tell me you go to this school.
Third, the number you gave me isn’t your number. Next you’re going to tell me
that you’re a guy, right? No, you’re way too cute to be a guy. By the way, you
look good. Why did you lie to me?”
Oh crap, busted big time. I should just give up on being a
guy. Apparently, I make a much better girl. Does anyone think I’m a guy?
“Hey, look, if you didn’t like me you could have just been
honest and told me,” Brain said a little upset.
“Sorry, Brian. This whole situation is new to me. I was a
bit of an outcast in my old school and getting attention from guys is new to
me. I have to admit that it scared me. I probably didn’t handle things very
well,” I said. It was the truth...mostly. I was feeling badly about lying to
him.
He seemed to soften a little after that “Was anything the
real you?”
“Actually, other than what you busted me on, that was the
real me. Can you forgive me for trying to trick you,” I asked still upset at
myself.
“Don’t go and get all down on yourself. I find it hard to
believe that you didn’t have guys knocking your door down, but I know how
things change when you switch schools. Two years ago I was a major geek. I got
tired of being made fun of so I started working out and taking care of myself.
It didn’t hurt that puberty hit and I started growing. At the end of the year I
turned myself into what I am today but everyone still treated me the same.
Things didn’t change until Mom moved us here a few months ago.”
“It looks like the move was good for you then.”
“I can’t complain. It did take some getting used to, so I do
know what you’re going through.”
“So, you’re not mad at me?” I asked. Why? I don’t know. I’ve
given up
“Not as long as you give me your real number and promise to
have dinner with me,” he smiled.
“I don’t know, Brian, I’m still not comfortable with the
whole idea,” I replied trying to find a way out without hurting him or getting
myself into trouble.
“The best way to get comfortable with something is to just
do it. We can go to a nice, busy, and public place. Think of it as getting
something to eat with a friend. Nothing more, nothing less.”
Crap, why couldn’t he be a jerk? I could tell a jerk to get
lost and not feel bad about it. But no, he has to be Mr. Sweet even after he
found out I lied to him. I was feeling like a real ass for that. OK, one dinner
then I’ll tell him I’m not ready for a relationship. Nice simple and no one
gets hurt.
“A nice, busy, and public place, OK? If you take me to some
cozy little place and try to get me to share a plate of spaghetti with you,
we’ll have serious problems.”
“Deal. How about tonight?” he grinned.
Did his eyes just light up? Damn! They did! I’m in trouble.
What have I gone and gotten myself into now?
“Sorry, I have to work tonight.”
“Really? Where at?”
‘OK, he thinks I’m lying to him again,’ I thought. I
couldn’t really blame him for it. “The Focal Point. I’m the newest employee.
That’s why I’ve been studying all this,” I said showing him the thick packet of
product specs, “How about tomorrow after Guard rehearsal?”
“I didn’t know you were on the Colorguard. You guys finish
up around six, right?”
“I think so,” I answered.
“Great, I’ll pick you up about seven then?”
“Make it seven thirty, I’ll probably need a shower.”
“OK, seven thirty it is. All I need now is your address and
phone number. The real ones, please.”
“What fun would that be?” I joked then gave him the real
stuff.
“Thanks, and I’ll see you later. I was supposed to meet
Scott ten minutes ago.”
“Oh crap, I forgot about Tom. I was supposed to help him
with some work when I finished eating,” I remembered.
“Well, you still have about a half hour left. Better get
moving.”
It only took me a couple seconds to clean up my lunch mess and
get everything back into my bag. I was putting my hair back up when the band I
was using broke. Not usually a problem since I keep an extra in my bag.
However, I must have forgotten to replace the last one I used.
‘Great, now I’ll probably have to use a regular rubber
band,’ I grumped to myself.
For all you guys who have never had long hair or tried to
use them before, regular rubber bands suck. They tend to tangle in hair and
make a real mess. They hurt like Hell when you try to pull them out, too.
‘Wait a minute, if everyone thinks I’m a girl, then I can
get away with leaving my hair down. Excellent,’ I reminded myself.
That minor catastrophe averted, I headed to the J room. The
halls were a lot less busy and I didn’t get any comments or looks that I
noticed. My heart even stayed at a reasonable only slightly elevated pace. I
guess I was getting used to it.
I had barely made it through the J room door when the
realization of what I had just done struck me. I’m going on a date with a boy.
I don’t even like boys. What was I thinking? Ugh, I really do need constant
adult supervision. I tried telling myself it’s not a date. It’s only two
friends getting together for dinner. Same basic situation but I felt better
thinking of it that way.
Tom must have noticed the look of sheer terror that I’m sure
I was wearing, “You OK, Jules?”
“Umm..., yeah. I think so. I just realized that I’ve gotten
myself into trouble again,” I answered.
“Despite what you may have heard, I’m not that bad,” he
returned.
“Huh? Oh, it’s nothing to do with you. I just sorta agreed
to go to dinner with Brian.”
“Which Brian, there’s only about half a dozen of them
running around.”
“Brian... what was his last name? Hang on, I’ll remember it
in a sec.”
“You didn’t strike me as the air head type. He did tell you
didn’t he?”
“Yes, he told me. It’s just that I’ve had a lot going on
since then. Corser, Brian Corser, that’s it. I remember now.”
Tom was trying really hard not to laugh at me. I knew I was
gonna regret asking why, but I did it anyway. Curiosity did kill the cat, as
they say.
“What’s so funny?” I queried.
“You, do you have any idea how cute you are when you’re
flustered?”
I knew I shouldn’t have asked him that. You’d think the last
few days would have taught me something, right? Apparently, I left my brain in
with all my other stuff and it was donated to some sock puppet somewhere. Cute,
he called me cute! As if I wanted to hear that!
“Don’t go and get all pouty on me now. We’ve got work to
do,” he said after a few seconds.
I couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t involve some less
than lady-like words. I didn’t mind the whole girl thing. I was even enjoying a
good bit of it but I wasn’t ready to have it crammed down my throat. I was
hoping to ease into it. You know, test the waters a little. It looks like I
still had a good bit of bad karma debt to work off.
“Can we just get to work, please?” I asked.
“Absolutely, you can give me a hand with this layout,” Tom
said pointing at the light table he had been working at earlier.
We would have gotten a lot more work done if he would have
treated me like I had half a brain. He must have thought I was some clueless
bimbo who couldn’t figure out how to read a ruler. Geez, guys are so dense. We
managed to get the page he was working on finished before lunch ended, though.
“Thanks, Jules, that was a big help,” Tom smiled.
“No problem, Cap’n. Glad I could help,” I replied.
“Wanna help again tomorrow?”
“I don’t know. It depends on how much other stuff I have to
do. I’ll meet you here if I’m free.”
“Fair enough. Thanks, again.”
*
My day was officially over and I had made it through
unscathed. I’d finally get to talk to Becca and Tess. I didn’t get a chance to
call Bec the night before and I just knew she was stressing out about it. I
wonder how she’ll take the news. Tess is going to flip when she finds out, too.
For the first time since I started, I walked to the Theater
arts building alone. Either I got out ahead of Tess or she was in a real hurry
to get there. Bec’s last class of the day was drama so she was already there. I
started getting very nervous the closer I got to the building. I don’t know why
but my stomach felt like it had a swarm of angry butterflies just itching to
get into a fight by the time I made it to the door.
‘What am I so freaking nervous about? It’s not like I’m
doing this for the first time,’ I asked myself.
I know why I was nervous and it didn’t have anything to do
with the way I was dressed or where I was going. I was nervous about Bec. She
had basically told me she was attracted to me, well the female me, before she
drove off last night. I had no idea how to handle that or how I felt about it.
I mean I like her but I’m not sure how I feel about her liking me as a girl. I
was going to have to be very careful handling that one.
I had just started reaching for the door handle when it flew
open followed by the hapless freshman Bec had been berating the first day I met
her. He looked like he was a rabbit being chased by a fox. He wasn’t paying
attention to what was in front of him and ran headlong into me knocking us both
down and scattering everything in my bag.
He picked himself up and with a weak, “I’m sorry,” and high
tailed it toward the main building.
“Thanks, a lot,” I grumbled picking myself up.
Bec came out shortly after with tears running down her
cheeks and red-faced from laughing.
“Oh, I do feel sooo much better now,” she grinned evilly.
“Ow, a little warning would’ve been nice,” I said rubbing my
tailbone, “That hurt.”
“Jules? Wow, is that you?” she asked.
“Yes, it’s me, could you give me a hand with my wayward
equipment? What was all that about, anyway?”
She started gathering up some of the free floating product
description sheets, “Oh, that. He forgot some stuff he was supposed to bring
and gave me attitude about it. I told him he had until everyone was ready to be
back with everything or else I’d tell the whole school he sucks his thumb. I
meant it as a threat, but apparently, he actually does and doesn’t want it
getting out. I’d say he’s certainly motivated. That’ll teach the little squeak
not to give me any crap.”
“You enjoyed that entirely too much,” I prodded her.
“Probably, how’d it go last night? I got worried when I
didn’t hear from you.”
“Yeah, sorry about not calling. It got a little crazy and I
found out some stuff that really threw me.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“What happened? I want details, woman!”
“Hey, I’m still a guy here!” I exclaimed.
“Have you even bothered to look at yourself, lately? Or did
aliens abduct you, change your clothes, and drop you back here on Earth for a
laugh? Come here,” she said grabbing my hand and pulling me inside.
It was either follow her or lose my arm so I stumbled along
behind her. She didn’t slow down until she had placed me in front of a large
full-length mirror.
“OK, Jules, what do you see girl or boy?” she asked.
She had made her point. I looked like a girl. I knew that.
Hell, it’s not like it wasn’t made ridiculously obvious all day long. “A girl,”
I replied.
“Does looking like that make you happy?”
I had to admit that it did. The reflection in the mirror was
me, no pretending to be anything or anyone else, just an average looking
teenage girl. “Yes, I guess it does.”
“So why are you getting so upset when you’re referred to as
a girl?”
“Force of habit?”
“I’m confused. Why would that be habit?”
“I’ve spent the last, oh, ten years or so trying to act like
a boy and getting upset when I didn’t. I guess it’s habit now.”
“I still don’t get it. Am I missing something?”
“Yeah, do you have a few minutes?” I asked.
“Hold on a sec,” Bec answered then disappeared leaving me
alone with my reflection.
“Well, nice to see you again,” I said to the girl in the
mirror, “it’s been a while.”
I felt like those words released the spell that was over me.
I didn’t have to pretend to be a boy anymore. I didn’t have to hide my
feelings. I could cry at sappy old movies and not get harassed for it. I made
much more sense to myself and felt I fit so much better. I couldn’t help but
smile.
Have you ever had a moment where you realize it’s all going
to be all right? You get that warm tingly sensation deep inside you and it makes
you want to spin around and laugh in sheer unadulterated delight. I was having
one of those precious few moments. Yes, I was even spinning in slow circles. I
felt like the world was taken off my shoulders and I was free.
“Well, I see you’re in a much better mood. You just figured
yourself out didn’t you, Julia?” Bec asked as she watched me.
“Yes, I think I did. I hope you don’t mind, but I think I’d
like to stay Julia,” I answered.
“Works for me. And that smile really does fit you, along
with that outfit. Did you put that together yourself?” she smiled as she walked
over to me.
“Thanks, and yes, I did put it together all by my lonesome.
You really like it?”
“Absolutely. I just have one question for you.”
“Just one?” I asked skeptically.
“Well, we’ll just for starters then, do you prefer boys or
girls?”
“Girls, definitely girls.”
“Good,” she said as she pulled me into a rather passionate
kiss.
“Wow,” I said when she finished with me. “I hope that isn’t
a one time event.”
“Only if you want it to be.”
OK, that wasn’t my first kiss. I was just my first kiss of
that magnitude. I guess that pretty much cleared up any confusion I might have
about the way she felt about me. I really liked that kiss and like being a girl
so maybe being a lesbian wouldn’t be such a bad thing. I certainly won’t be
complaining about it, that’s for sure.
“Will you two get a room or something?” Tess commented as
she walked in. “Now what did I miss?”
I gave both of them a run down of everything that had
happened since Bec dropped me off the night before. They both were surprised
when I told them about Brian and our “date”.
“I thought you weren’t into guys,” Tess commented.
“I’m not. He guilted me into it,” I returned.
“Sure, and the fact that he’s one of the cutest boys in
school had nothing to do with it.”
“Is he? I didn’t notice.”
“Riiight, and you two couldn’t stand each other the other
night.”
“She’s got you there, Jules. You two were getting along
amazingly well,” Bec added.
“Not you, too. I thought there was something between us,” I
replied.
“I don’t mind sharing a little. There isn’t anything
romantic between you two, now is there? I don’t mind you hanging out with the
guys just no kissing, OK? Only I’m allowed to kiss my girl,” she grinned.
“You’re not going to have to worry about that. I have no
desire to go down that road. When did I become your girl, by the way?”
“About five minutes ago. You don’t mind do you?”
“Me, no, but how am I going to tell my parents that their
straight son has turned into their lesbian daughter?” I asked.
“Very carefully,” she stated.
We had to get back to work on the play. Bec had one of the
other members watching over the rehearsal but was itching to get back to it.
Tess and I needed to start getting everyone’s costumes fitted. Most of the hard
work had been done, so we were just taking care of the final details. We worked
on cast member at a time to avoid totally wasting the rest of rehearsal.
Between the two of us, we managed to get everyone sorted out
and finalized. Bec was impressed with the final results.
“Tess, you’re absolutely amazing. Everything is perfect and
coming from me, that’s saying something,” Bec uncharacteristically gushed.
“Thanks, they did turn out well, didn’t they,” Tess
answered.
“Everyone looks wonderful, Tess. I’d love to hang around but
I’ve gotta get to work. I don’t want to be late on my first day,” I commented.
“Aww, you have to leave already?” Tess joked.
“Call me later, let me know how it goes?” Bec asked.
“Sure, I won’t forget this time,” I answered.
“One more thing, Jules,” Tess stopped me.
“What’s that?”
“These,” she said tossing me two familiar flesh colored
blobs.
‘Here we go, again,’ I thought.
“Hey, you’re a girl now. Besides, Bill has already seen you
with them and would probably find it strange for you to go from curves to
none,” Bec said.
I’m starting to get creeped out by the way everyone seems to
be able to read my mind. It’s a good thing I don’t lie...much. With this group
I’d be busted before the words left my mouth.
“Not to mention the fact that Bec loves a girl with a nice
rack,” Tess grinned.
“TESS!” Bec exclaimed.
I just about swallowed my tongue when I heard that. I
definitely didn’t expect that from Tess. I was starting to wonder about her
self-control or more specifically, her lack of self-control. I was going to
have to be more careful around her.
“You do, so don’t try and act all innocent. It’s not like
we’re little kids anymore, anyway. We should be able to talk like adults,” Tess
returned.
She had a point there. I hate to say that I know of quite a
few high school sophomores that have had more than their fair share of sex. The
least I could do was be able to talk about things in a sexual context and not
get all goofy about it. I may still turn bright read when the subject comes up
but I can deal.
I took my position next to Tess’ makeup table and pulled off
my shirt. The reflection in the mirror was a bit distressing. My flat chest
bothered me a lot more than I would have thought. Even though I only had
breasts for a few hours, I found that I felt much better with them than
without.
Tess only took a few minutes to get me back into my new
shape. I was amazed at how easily she made that look. One minute I’m flat chested
Julian unhappy with my body and the next I’m Julia and feel so much better.
Maybe I need to take notes for that therapist I still need to find.
“Thanks, guys, I appreciate your help,” I thanked them.