Changing of the Guard
By Maddie Valasek
Part Four
Time for reflection is always good. I’ve always
believed that it’s a good idea to take some time every week and take a look
back to see what has happened in my life, usually an admittedly boring
exercise. So that’s how I found myself staring in the mirror at the girl
(mostly) I had become and looking back over the last few days, wondering just
what the heck happened. To say that it has been strange would be an
understatement. I went right passed strange and moved on to bizarreville.
I mean, how else do you describe things when your life takes
a sharp left hand turn? A week ago, I was a normal guy doing normal guy stuff.
Yeah, I was bit of an outcast and had no friends, but I was used to that. Then
my family moves to a new place in a new state. No big deal I thought, I could
use a change in scenery. Well, I got that and a whole lot more.
There must have been some sort of cosmic conspiracy involved
with my rather rapid change in gender. How else could I explain all my clothes being
given away or burned to a crisp while I got stuck, literally, with breasts? Oh
boy, life is such a treat. Why weren’t my parents surprised to come home and
find me looking like a girl? Because I had done it before, of course. I didn’t
remember that. Due some previous bad experiences, I had those memories blocked.
Those memories are back and I finally have figured myself
out some. There was a little help from my girlfriend Becca, too. I’m still
trying to get my head around not only being a girl, but a lesbian as well. Hey,
I did say it was strange didn’t I? Now I’m a reasonably happy girl with a few
friends, a new job that I like, a new car (thanks Mom and Dad!), and plenty to
do.
To be totally honest, I was afraid to leave the house. I
figured one of two things would happen. The first being that the past few days
were merely a dream and I would wake up to find I was still at my old home and
had to get ready to face the day as an outcast. The second option was that the
insanity of the last week wasn’t over. I was afraid I would be married,
pregnant, or both by the end of the month. Don’t laugh. After everything that
has happened so far, I wasn’t ruling anything out. Knowing that I had a date
with a boy didn’t help matters much, either.
“Jules, will you stop staring at yourself and finish getting
ready. You’re going to be late,” Mom yelled up at me.
“I’ll be down in a minute,” I called back.
Running late was beginning to be a habit for me.
Fortunately, being a girl solved my recent clothing problem. I had a ton of
stuff that my sister had left that I could use. All I had to do was dig through
it all and find something that I liked. That would have been easier if I hadn’t
made such a mess while I was packing it up.
I really did have the full intention of packing everything
up neatly, but the longer I was in her room the more upset I got at her leaving
like she did. About half way through, I started stuffing things in boxes not
caring if it was breakable or not. I wanted to be finished with it and out of
there. Sue me, I’m allowed to flip out occasionally. At least I didn’t
purposely break anything. That porcelain ballerina jumped off her desk, I swear
it did. It was suicide I tell ya. All she could do was stand around all day and
pose. That’s enough to drive anyone mad, just look at all the supermodels of
the world. If she’d only told me she was upset, I could have called the
porcelain ballerina suicide hotline and she’d still be with us. Sorry, wild
tangent there.
A quick sort helped to get things into something resembling
order. Basically, I got things into two piles, tops and bottoms. I was tempted
to go with a long brown suede skirt and lightweight cream sweater, but I didn’t
have any shoes that would work with it. My feet are definitely too big for
Brandy’s shoes. A shoe shopping trip was definitely needed. Instead, I settled
on a similar look as the day before. My jeans were a shade lighter and my shirt
was navy with a metallic silver star in the center.
Again, my shoes were bugging me. They just weren’t quite
what I wanted, but I didn’t have a choice. Dressing like a girl is certainly
more complicated than a guy. For Julian, jeans, a t-shirt, and hiking boots
would pretty much cover anything short of formal. Julia, however, does love
having more options. I just need more shoes to match everything. Sheesh, I’m
such a girl.
You know that feeling you get when you think you look pretty
good but you’re missing one little thing that would make it perfect? I had that
feeling. I tried telling myself that it was just my shoes, but I wasn’t
listening. What? Haven’t you ever ignored yourself? I tried not to think about
it as I gathered up my books, homework, and other stuff, then headed
downstairs.
Apparently, my mind was too focused on what I was missing and
not focused enough on where I was stepping. Our old house had nineteen steps
from top to bottom. I had run up and down those nineteen steps my whole life.
My body went on autopilot whenever I got to them. I didn’t even have to think
when I climbed them.
The new house has an even twenty steps. I know that. I
counted them the first day we looked at it. The problem was that my autopilot
hadn’t figured that out yet. I hit step nineteen and was expecting to be on
flat solid ground. What I got on my next step was six inches of air. Do I
really have to tell you what happened next? OK, loss of balance, flailing arms,
and losing the fight with gravity pretty much covers it.
What? You want the gory details? Fine, but it really wasn’t
that bad. There were no broken bones (I think), no massive bleeding, and
nothing else that would require an ambulance ride. I did manage to bang my
cheek on the floor pretty hard and cause enough noise to bring my mother
running.
“Jules!” she exclaimed, seeing me sitting on the floor with
my stuff all over the place.
“Ow,” I said rubbing my cheek, “I just know that’s gonna
leave a mark.”
“Are you all right? What happened?”
“I’m OK. Did you know this house has twenty steps?”
“What does that...oh, one more step than you were expecting,”
Mom replied, realizing what I was saying, “Anything broken?”
“I hit my cheek on the floor when I fell, but nothing that
requires medical personnel.”
She leaned down to take a look at me, “Looks like you’re
gonna have a nice bruise, Kiddo. I can already see it starting.”
“Oh great, just what I needed,” I said silently praying that
my Karma debt was getting close to being paid. I didn’t know if I’d survive
much more if it wasn’t.
“Don’t worry. We can fix that,” Mom said helping me gather
my stuff.
After we wrangled all my books, papers, and bag, Mom led me
to her room and had me sit at her vanity. I knew exactly what she had in mind.
“OK, Kiddo, let’s see what we can do about that bruise.”
“I’m all yours, but would you mind showing how to do more?”
my mouth said. Ack, it’s done it again! Will someone please tell me why it has
a mind of it’s own? Honestly, I was thinking that this time. I just wasn’t
going to ask.
After sizing me up for a minute, she asked, “Are you sure
you want to?”
It was my turn to think, “Yes, I bet this will sound weird,
but I really liked the way I looked when Tess did it for me. It was still me,
just a little better. I’d love to know how to do it for myself. You don’t have
to decide now. We really don’t have the time, but maybe this weekend?”
“How about right now?”
“But I have school.”
“I think we can bend the rules a little. I am your mother
after all,” Mom smiled.
“You’re the best mom ever,” I gave her my cheesiest line and
a big hug. Only a fool would pass up that opportunity. Momma only raised one
fool and that’s my sister.
“Shall we get started, then?”
“Lead the way, Sensei.”
Mom got started by trying to find something that would match
my skin tone. She tried three different shades and still didn’t find what she
wanted.
“It looks like you and Brandy got your father’s skin color.
None of my foundation will match,” Mom frowned.
“Is matching that important?” I asked.
“I’m afraid so. You can use stuff that doesn’t match, but it
won’t look very good. I’m betting that you’ll probably be the same as Brandy.
I’ll pick up some of the stuff she used to use and we’ll try this again later.
Sorry, but it looks like you get to go to school with that bruise anyway.”
“Oh joy, I bet Bec will just love that. Hey, wait I think I
saw Brandy’s make up bag in one of her boxes.”
“Well, what are you standing here for? Time’s a wastin’.”
I went back upstairs, carefully counting twenty, and started
looking through the boxes again. I knew I remembered seeing that makeup bag in
there somewhere, exactly where was the issue. It was finally located in the
third box I tried. Why isn’t it ever in the first place you look? I spotted
Brandy’s jewelry box underneath it and realized what had been bugging me. I had
no jewelry. No rings, bracelets, or necklaces. Not a single one. My sports
watch wasn’t exactly feminine either.
“Well, egggssselllent,” I said out loud.
In no time at all, I found myself looking through everything
and doing plenty of oohing and ahhing. It was surprising at how much beautiful
stuff Brandy had left behind. I realize that the most of it didn’t fit the
whole Goth thing, but only a fool would have left it. That turned out to be a
good thing for me. It would have taken me a good deal of time and money to get
a similar collection together. All I had to do was choose what I wanted.
It took a bit of deliberating, but I finally narrowed it
down to a couple silver and gold rings, a silver and blue stone bracelet (I’m
pretty sure they aren’t real sapphires), and a white gold necklace with a real
sapphire pendant. I would have added a pair of matching earrings but my ears
weren’t pierced. That was another thing that I was going to have to remedy.
“Jules, what’s taking so long up here? Did you get lost?”
Mom asked walking in.
When she saw me she got a very strange look on her face. It
freaked me out a little, “Mom, are you OK?”
“Yes, dear. You just look so much like your sister. Is that
her sapphire pendant?”
“You don’t mind do you?” I asked realizing that I may have
crossed a line raiding her jewelry.
“You know, if she was still here and you were going through
it without her permission, I would be upset. But, since she left this all
behind, she obviously doesn’t want it. It would be a shame for it to collect
dust. Besides, it looks good on you. You do need some earrings though.”
“I was just thinking about that. I’ll just add it to my
ever-growing list of stuff I need to get. I have no idea when I’m going to have
time to go shopping, though.”
“Care to spend the day hanging out with your Mom?”
“You’re giving me the day off to go shopping?” I asked
skeptically.
“We both have some shopping to do and it’s been a long time
since I’ve been able to spend some time with my daughter. I can’t think of a
better way to do either.”
“Sounds like a plan to me, but doesn’t this go against you
and Dad’s ‘do not influence either way’ policy?”
“That’s a valid point. Answer me this. Since you put on that
dress, have you wanted to act like a boy again?”
I may have said this before but it’s really creepy the way
my parents can read their kid’s mind. I hadn’t thought about it until she
mentioned it, but I haven’t once wanted to return to boy mode. Yes, I did
return to it the next day, but I didn’t want to. I felt weird and misplaced the
whole time. It’s like deep down inside I knew I was a girl even though my
conscious mind didn’t. Mom knew, though. I’m starting to wonder if maybe
they’re not aliens or something. I don’t remember seeing any pods or spacecraft
when we moved.
“You know how disturbing that is?” I asked.
“What’s disturbing?” Mom replied.
“That you know what I’m thinking before I do.”
That got me a smile and laugh, “Don’t worry, you’ll do it to
your kids one day.”
‘Ack! She said kids. Now I just know I’m gonna end up
pregnant before the week’s up. Will I make a good mother? A wife? Whoa, whoa.
Hold it there, Julia. Reality check, please. First of all, I can’t get pregnant
so why am I worrying. Wait, I can’t get pregnant! I’ll never be a Mom!’ I
thought.
“Julia? Julia, are you still with me?” Mom asked looking a
bit concerned.
“I...uhh...umm...”
“Honey, complete sentences please.”
“I’ll never be a Mom,” I said sadly.
“Why couldn’t you be?”
“Umm...Mom, I think you’re having a harder time with this
gender thing than I am. I’m not really a girl, remember?”
“I know you weren’t born that way but not all women can have
their own children. That doesn’t make you any less of a woman.”
“I...you...you’re right. Why am I freaking out about this?
I’m only sixteen for crying out loud. I don’t have to worry about kids and a
family of my own yet. Talk about jumping the gun.”
“Maybe a little. Are you sure you want to go out today. You
seem a little edgy.”
“Yes, I’m OK. I don’t know where that came from,” I
admitted.
“Don’t ask me. I missed that one. Let’s see if we can take
care of that bruise now shall we?”
We returned to her vanity with Brandy’s makeup bag. Mom was
right about Brandy and I being the same skin tone. The foundation she had was a
perfect match. I think Mom had as much fun showing me how to use everything as
I had learning how to use it. I got the concept down pretty easily but I’ll
need a lot of practice before I’m comfortable doing it myself. Call me crazy,
but I get very nervous putting a sharpened pencil that close to my eyeball. I
did manage to get the line sort of straight the first time.
I was left to practice while Mom took a shower and got ready
for our trip. I didn’t do too much. My cheek was pretty sore and no matter what
I was trying to, do I kept bumping it. I carefully finished up what I was doing
and decided to text message Bec. I didn’t want her to worry about me not being
at school.
I sent “Not coming 2 school 2day.”
Bec replied, “Y not? U OK?”
“Fell dwn steps but OK. Mom & I go shop”
“w/o me?:-( “
“U n school.”
“I L break out”
“Bad Becca. Cut class bad”
“U do n it.”
“Mom says so”
“U miss kiss then.”
“:-( :-( :-(:-( We go l8r?”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Ahh, the complete destruction of the English language. Isn’t
technology grand? I used to wonder why you had text messaging on phones. Now I
know. While I couldn’t call Bec in the middle of class, a text is nearly silent
and easy to sneak in. I was a little bummed about missing her kiss, though.
I really wanted to take my car since I’d only taken it for a
short drive the night before, but Mom overruled me. She said my Beetle was too
small. This is where I started to get worried. I remembered unloading her
cruiser and, like I said, you can fit a lot of stuff in one of those. The
prospect of that much running around was a little bit scary.
“Oh, don’t worry. It won’t be that bad,” Mom reassured.
“You’re freaking me out with the whole mind reading thing,”
I joked.
“I know. It is fun, though.”
“There’s an evil streak buried in you somewhere.”
“Funny, your father says that, too,” she grinned.
I settled into the passenger seat expecting to head towards
the local mall but Mom started out in the opposite direction. I wondered where
she was going and if I should say something. The results of me opening my mouth
the last few days convinced me to just keep quiet and go along with the ride.
Who’s going to question their mother when shopping is involved anyway?
For once, my decision-making abilities didn’t turn out to be
complete failures. Mom pulled up to a small storefront nestled between a
coffeehouse and bookstore near the old town center. You’ve all seen those types
of areas. The ones that used to be the center of everything back in the age of
dinosaurs. Ok, maybe not dinosaurs but well before our time.
The modern influence of being within walking distance of two
major universities mixed surprisingly well with the turn of the century
styling. That unlikely combination gave the area a warm and inviting feel with
just enough mystery mixed in to make it feel as if you might find something
magical. Nope, no boring mall crawl for me. Thank goodness for small miracles.
This gave me some idea of how my sister managed to stay ahead of the fashion
curve.
“I’m gonna grab some coffee. Feel like trying some thing
new?” Mom asked.
“Eww, coffee. Dad has me try some every few months. He keeps
saying that one day my tastes will mature enough and I’ll like coffee.”
“To be perfectly honest, your Dad’s coffee isn’t the
greatest. He likes it way too strong and not nearly sweet enough. Have you ever
tried some the way I like it?”
“No, I figured it all sort of tasted the same.”
“You need to try a French vanilla cappuccino. I have feeling
you’ll like it.”
“OK, but mind grabbing me an OJ just in case?”
“Deal, why don’t you take a look in the bookstore and meet
me at one of the outside tables in five minutes?”
At that point I decided that mentioning the mind reading bit
was pointless, “outside tables in ten minutes, Gotcha,” I answered knowing full
well that I wouldn’t be able to get out of a bookstore in five minutes. Ten
minutes was asking a lot as well, but I thought I could manage as long as
nothing caught my attention.
“Ok, ten minutes.”
I love the big chain bookstores. They are neat, organized,
well lit, and have just about anything you could ask for. They are usually my
first stop when I’m looking for something new. If you want something that
isn’t crisp and new, you’re out of luck.
That’s where the old used bookstores come in. You can’t beat
them for the true bookstore atmosphere or for finding hidden gems. Books are
usually crammed into every available space, which makes organization difficult.
That forces you to actually look through the place and it’s that searching that
reveals some of the best stuff.
I once found a beautifully leather bound edition of Romeo
and Juliet. The whole cover was worn leather and it gave the book an ancient
feel. I could just imagine an English lord or maiden carrying it around with
them. It wasn’t that old of course, but it had the most character of any book
I’ve ever owned.
I was hoping for a similar experience as I walked inside.
The atmosphere was right. There were books crammed into every nook and cranny.
I just didn’t have enough time to dig in and find anything special. I barely
made it through the first section before my ten minutes was up. Drat.
Reluctantly pulling myself away from my quest, I returned
to the coffee shop. Mom hadn’t made it out yet, so I got to choose our table.
With the morning being a little chilly, I picked the only one that was getting
some sun. In the middle of scanning the area looking for any photo
opportunities, a shadow loomed over me.
“I was beginning to think you got lost,” I said expecting to
see Mom but saw a huge muscle bound guy looking down at me. “Oh, you’re not who
I was expecting.”
“I wasn’t expecting to see an angel sitting here this
morning, either,” the bodybuilder replied.
Uh oh, a pick up line from a really big guy. What the heck
should I do? “Look, I appreciate the kind words but I have two words for you;
jail bait. I’m only sixteen.”
“ Damn, you’re only sixteen? I was guessing eighteen at
least. Sorry to have bothered you,” he said and beat a hasty retreat.
That was a very interesting experience. One little sentence
delivered with a smile sends a guy three times my size running. That never
happened when I was trying to be a guy. I was always the one running. It amazes
me the power women have over the opposite sex sometimes.
“Nicely handled, Jules,” Mom commented setting our drinks
down.
“Thanks, that was just too weird, though,” I replied.
“You better get used to it. It’s one of the disadvantages of
being a girl. Unless you have a boyfriend or husband standing next to you,
you’re a target.”
“Oh boy, would a shirt that said lesbian in big bold letters
work?”
“Not for all of them, I’m afraid.”
“Well, I guess being a girl can’t all be fun and games.”
“It’s not that bad. You just have to be prepared for it. Ready
to try some cappuccino?”
I tried it and it wasn’t nearly as bad as the stuff Dad
usually tries to give me. I don’t think it’ll replace my Dr Pepper, but I
definitely won’t mind a cup now and then. I had a nice time sipping my coffee
and talking to Mom. She wasn’t too happy when I snapped a few pictures of her.
I know she doesn’t like getting her picture taken, but the
morning light was bouncing off the shops window producing a gorgeous soft light
that the pros would kill to find. She had closed her eyes and turned her face
to feel the warmth of the sun. Perfect lighting, her beautiful blonde hair,
porcelain skin, and a candid natural pose is not an opportunity I’m gonna let
slip away.
I got that shot before she realized what was going on and,
by pure luck, managed to catch her just as she opened her eyes. I really hoped
that they turned out as well as I think they did. They looked good on my
camera’s display but I wouldn’t really know until I got it home and looked at
it full-size.
“All right, Missy. I was going to take it easy on you today,
but since you’ve gone and taken my picture you must be punished,” Mom grinned
at me.
“If these turn out as well as I hope, it’ll be worth it,” I
smiled back.
“All right, let’s get moving then. We’ll start from the
inside out. Bras and panties first then we’ll move on to everything else.”
“I don’t care where we start, but I’ve got to get some
decent shoes. These old boots just aren’t going to cut it, anymore.”
Mom gave me another of those funny looks, “you’re such a
girl it’s scary.”
We finished our coffees then cleaned up our mess. I started
getting nervous as Mom led us into our first store. It wasn’t nervous in a
scared way. It was more like anticipation. I guess I realized that I was going
shopping as a girl for all the stuff a normal girl would need. I tried fighting
back the smile that had crept across my face but couldn’t.
I’m not telling you about this first stop. It’s a little
creepy for you to want to know about what I wear under my clothes, anyway. The
main reason is because it was a bit embarrassing wandering through the lingerie
section with my mother. I think she was deliberately trying to rattle me. Why
else would she find the skimpiest wisp of fabric she could and ask if my Dad
would like to see her in it? Ack, like I wanted that vision in my head. I know
my parents do that sort of stuff. I just don’t want to know the details.
It is way too easy to lose track of time while you’re trying
stuff on. Before I had a chance to breathe, an hour had passed and I had four
bags worth of stuff to carry. Undergarments? Check and then some. I didn’t
think that I’d ever use everything that we bought, but Mom insisted that I be
ready for anything. Who am I to argue? Rather than try to carry our bags the
rest of the day, we headed for the car to drop everything off.
On the way out of the lingerie section, I grabbed a bit of
lacy nothing and asked Mom if she thought Becca would like me in it. The look
of sheer terror on her face was priceless and I could kick myself for not
having the camera ready.
“Now we’re even,” I said trying very hard not to bust out
laughing. I failed.
“I am in for so much trouble with you, aren’t I?” she asked
then joined me in my laughing fit.
We gradually regained control of ourselves and dropped the
bags off in the car. Our next stop was a nearby jewelry store. There’s nothing
too exciting to report about that. A few seconds of pain and I was the proud
owner of my first pair of diamond earrings. Yes, I was still grinning like an
idiot when we made it to the shoe store.
Mom and I both agreed that I really didn’t need much in the
way of clothes since I had all of Brandy’s stuff. It would be up to me to
finance any future purchases. Shoes were exempt from that decision. I know I
went a little crazy while in the store. I must have tried on one of every style
they had for me. No boot, sandal, flat, heel, or tennis shoe was safe. I must
have run the poor salesman ragged.
To his credit, he kept up with me the entire time. I think
he made out ok for all the effort. He wound up getting commission on more than
a dozen sales. Mom left him a ten-dollar tip as well and apologized for my
enthusiasm. It was lunchtime by the time we got out of the store.
“You little flirt,” Mom stated, “are you sure you don’t like
men?”
“What? Me? Flirt? What are you talking about? I’m not into
men either,” I defended myself.
“Are you trying to tell me that you didn’t realize you were
flirting with the sales guy?”
“I was not!”
“Oh boy, you were and you did it surprisingly well. I’m sure
he would have asked you out if I wouldn’t have been there.”
“I was flirting with him?” I asked wondering what it was
that I had done.
“Yes, all those little comments and when you fell on him
trying on those heels.”
“I was just being nice and give me a break about the heels.
I fell because I haven’t figured out how to defy gravity yet.”
Mom gave me her deep penetrating look again, “Ok, I believe
you. You have to be more careful about how and what you say to men. You could
get away with being nice and sweet to girls as a guy. Men react differently to
that sort of thing.”
“I have a lot to learn don’t I?”
“You’ll figure it out. Just be more careful until you do.
Feel like having lunch yet?”
“I’m starving. I haven’t had anything to eat all day.”
“Soup and salad?”
“Sounds good to me.”
The first thing I did when we got to the car was kick off my
old shoes and replace them with something a little less Croc Hunter. I decided
on a dark brown ankle boot with a wide two-inch heel and round toe. I didn’t
think a pointed toe would work very well with a basic t. If I had a white
blouse and fitted jacket, I would have definitely gone with the pointed toe.
Mom laughed at me and shook her head, “you really are
jumping into the girl thing with both feet aren’t you?”
“I guess I am throwing myself at this pretty hard. I feel
like I’ve been wandering across a desert for a long time and just found a
beautiful oasis complete with waterfall. That’s a cheesy analogy, but it’s the
best I can do,” I returned.
“I wouldn’t worry too much. I’ve only seen you this excited
about something twice before and those turned out to be very good things for
you. I doubt that this will be any different.”
“I’ve been this excited before?”
“Yes, Silly. The first time was when you got your first
computer and the next you discovered photography.”
“Oh, I guess I do go a little overboard with those, don’t
I?”
“Just a little, but it’s a good kind of overboard. I don’t
think I’ll ever have to worry about you overdosing on pictures.”
“Not likely,” I replied as we pulled into get our lunch.
Mom went with tortilla soup and a trip to the salad bar
while I decided on a really big baked potato with a little cheese and light
ranch dressing and salad bar trip. Neither of us said too much for the first
few minutes. We were both too busy stuffing our faces. That was the first time
since we left the house that we hadn’t been talking. The silence was strange.
It had been a long time since Mom and I had such a good
time. She must have felt the same way since she stopped eating and just watched
me. I don’t know how long she had been doing it. I just got that being watched
feeling and looked up to see her with this happy little smile.
“You’re making me nervous. Staring at me like that,” I
commented.
“Sorry, Kiddo. Just couldn’t help myself. I hope you’re
enjoying this as much as I am,” she replied.
“I am. I promise. You think Dad’ll get upset when he finds
out what we’ve been up to today?”
“Why don’t you ask him yourself? Good afternoon, Connor,”
Mom smiled.
I turned around to see Dad standing behind me, “Ack, you’re
starting to make sneaking up on me a habit.”
“Just remember that when you’re doing something you aren’t
supposed to. You look great sweetheart and you as well, Hon,” Dad complimented.
“Me? Do something wrong? Perish the thought.”
“I know, but I’m required to say things like that. It’s in
my Dad contract. You two having a good time?”
“Yes, we are. It’s nice spending time with a happy smiling
child again. We are going to have to keep an eye on her, though. She’s a
serious flirt,” Mom answered.
“MOM!”
Dad responded with a raised eyebrow, “I thought you weren’t
into boys, Julia.”
Ah, will someone just shoot me? I think the Karma collector
has changed tactics and is now trying to get me to think I like boys. Well, I
don’t, so quit that already. “I’m not. I swear,” I replied a bit flustered by
the constant questioning of my sexuality.
Mom gave me her, “I wouldn’t be too sure of that,” look and
Dad shrugged his shoulders. No daughter stands a chance against both parents.
They feed off of each other and cover up the others weaknesses. I needed
reinforcements. I checked my watch (gotta remember to get a new one of those)
and was happy to see Bec would still be at lunch. I smiled and flipped my phone
open.
“What are you doing,” Mom asked in mock horror.
“Calling for reinforcements,” I grinned back.
“No, Connor, stop her. We have the advantage now. We can’t
lose it.”
Dad made a very weak attempt at snagging the phone, but I
dodged him easily. Bec picked up on the second ring.
“Afternoon, Gorgeous. I was beginning to think you forgot
about me,” she answered.
“Gorgeous? I thought that was you. Sorry I’m late. I was
just fighting off both my parents. They’re double-teaming me,” I stated.
“The fiends! What’s the dilemma?”
“They don’t seem to believe that I like girls anymore.”
“Well, I could come to wherever you are and we could make
out in front of them,” Bec offered.
“Tempting, very tempting, but I don’t want to get you in
trouble for skipping class.”
“You’re no fun,” she grumped.
“I know but somebody has to keep you in line.”
“Do you really think you can do that?” Bec asked
mischievously.
“No, but it sounded good at the time.”
“True. Hey, may I talk to your Mom and Dad?”
“Umm... sure, I guess,” I answered then tried to get my
parent’s attention.
They had started their own conversation when I started
talking to Bec and were pretty much ignoring me. I swear they act like
teenagers when they get together. I like that they still seem to truly enjoy
each other’s company, but it can be a little embarrassing watching them.
I managed to wrestle Dad’s attention away from Mom for a few
seconds and handed him the phone. It never occurred to me that I was nuts for
letting my lesbian girlfriend talk to my father. I just sat there as he
listened to her.
“It’s nice to talk to you as well, Becca. Jules has said a
lot of good things about you,” No idea what Bec said next, but Dad laughed,
“OK, but you better be good to her and I’ll make sure she treats you the same.”
More of whatever from Bec. “Sure, she’s sitting right here,” Dad replied then
handed the phone to Mom.
“So?” I asked.
“So what?” Dad replied playing dumb.
“What did she want to talk to you about?”
“Oh, that. She was just introducing herself.”
“Then what was the ‘be good to her’ comment about?” I asked
impatiently.
“That’s between her and me, Sweetheart,” Dad answered
clearly enjoying tormenting me.
I knew I wasn’t going to get any more out of him at the
moment, so I turned my attention back to Mom. Bec was planning something and I
wanted to be ready for whatever it was. She was supposed to be my backup, not schmoozing
the parentals.
“Yes, we should absolutely get to know each other better. If
you are as important to Julia as she says you are, I expect we’ll be seeing a
lot of you,” Mom stated.
I was getting annoyed only hearing half the conversation.
“Yes, I know, but until recently, she hasn’t had much
practice being sociable. Despite her Father and my best efforts, she never
really made friends at her old school.”
Ugh, that is just so unfair! They’re sharing information.
Parents and significant others aren’t supposed to do that. Apparently I had
been a total evil bitch in my past life and had collected a mountain-sized
stack of bad Karma.
“Yeah, I know she’s a flirt. You should see the way she’s
throwing herself at the guys,” Mom commented.
“MOM!” I all but shouted and grabbed for my phone.
She was laughing so hard that her eyes were watering, “Oh
relax, she hung up a few minutes ago. I couldn’t resist the opportunity to
harass you.”
“Humpf, some sweet loving mother you are.” I grumped. I
wasn’t really that upset at Mom. It’s better that she doesn’t know that I
thought it was a great prank. I’m a bit bummed that I didn’t think of it first.
That’s twice the she’s gotten me today.
“You girls mind if I hang out with you the rest of the
afternoon?” Dad asked changing the subject.
“Really?” I asked.
“Absolutely, we don’t get a chance like this often and I
don’t want to waste it. Besides, I need to keep an eye on my credit card.”
“A-HA! That’s the real reason,” Mom teased.
“And a darn good one, too,” Dad smiled.
Yeah, I did say they were like teenagers didn’t I. We
probably looked like complete loons to anyone watching. That’s the embarrassing
part of having goofy parents like mine. I wouldn’t trade them for the world,
though.
Mom and Dad resumed their previous conversation and I tried
my best to try and ignore them. There’s only so much sappy sweet a kid can
take. To take my mind off of them, I tried to get myself organized and figure
out what I still needed. My shopping day had been fruitful and I was able to
cross a few things of my list of things to get. Let’s see; bras and panties,
shoes and socks, and get my ears pierced could be marked off. That left me with
needing a new watch, fresh makeup, towels, and stuff for my room.
Time was starting to become an issue. I still had a lot to
do before guard rehearsal. That promised to be interesting since Tess was
supposed to try and teach me how to dance. She had no idea what she was getting
into when she volunteered for that project. Saying I have two left feet would
be an understatement. If you haven’t noticed, I tend to fall down a lot even
when I’m just walking.
With a time limit hanging over me, I had to break my parents
up so we could try and get everything finished. We had a quick discussion on
how best to spend the next few hours. Dad said it would be a good idea to try
and do a one stop shop and get everything at one place. Mr. Practicality
strikes again.
Mom said that Wally World was as good a place as any for
what we needed. She didn’t get any arguments from Dad and I. We shortly found
ourselves wandering through the glorified general store. Mom and I stopped in
the cosmetics department to get my own makeup. We had no idea how old Brandy’s
stuff was and Mom didn’t want to take any chances. Dad excused himself to go
check out the electronics department.
The area was full of women picking up any of the thousands
of items that were offered. I felt a little like the sheep that walks into the
lion’s den. I just knew that they would be able to spot me as a boy in drag.
They were sure notice I was a little too tall or I didn’t walk right. Maybe my
shoulders were a touch too wide and my hips a bit too narrow. Hundreds of
little incongruities fluttered through my mind and I braced myself for impact.
Mom tried asking me questions, but I was only half
listening. My eyes were darting around looking for any sign that there’d be
trouble. No one seemed to notice me. I didn’t get as much as a second look
from anyone. A minute passed by and no alarms were sounded. Two minutes passed
with nothing. The tension in my neck and shoulders gradually started to relax
as I realized that everyone merely saw me as the girl I wanted to be.
The breath I had been subconsciously hold escaped. Mom
turned and looked at me. “Julie, you OK, Hon?”
“Yeah, I am now,” I replied thinking that I had just passed
some kind of test, “What’s with Julie?”
“Just trying something. Julia sounds a bit formal and Jules
doesn’t seem to fit anymore.”
“I don’t know if I like it. It sounds weird.”
“Me either, Kiddo. Why don’t we try it out for a day and see
if it sticks. If not, we’ll stay with Jules or try something with Alexis.”
“Fair enough. Hey, is my name still officially Julia Alexis
or did you guys change it back?”
“You know, I think it may still be Julia. Your Dad and I
planned on changing it back but I don’t remember if we ever did.”
“Interesting. If you didn’t, do I have a birth certificate
that says I’m Julia?” I asked.
“You should have one floating around somewhere. Why the
sudden interest?”
“I was just thinking that if I’m going to be a girl all the
time now, I’ll need everything to reflect that. That includes stuff like my
driver’s license. I’ll need to get a new one anyway so having something that
says my name is Julia Alexis would be very helpful.”
“I see where you’re going. We’ll take a look for it when we
get home. Shall we go drag your father away from the HDTVs?”
“We probably should. Drool and electronics don’t mix well.”
Mom got a kick out of that comment and we laughed all the
way back to electronics. Dad wasn’t drooling over a new HDTV but he was darn
close. We couldn’t help but giggle a little more over that. He looked up at us
and grinned like a cat that just ate the canary.
“What are you up to, Connor?” Mom asked him.
“Nothing, Dear. Just browsing. You two get everything you
needed?” he asked quickly changing the subject.
“We were about to head over and get some towels and linens.”
“Why don’t you two head on over there? I have one more thing
I’d like to check out, then I’ll meet you over there.”
“OK, but don’t take long. You’re the one who wanted to spend
the day shopping with us.”
“Mom, can I take a look at radios first? Mine was in one of
my boxes,” I asked.
“OK, Kiddo, but bring your father with you when you come.
I’m going to get a head start,” she answered and headed off.
“So which one did you get?” I asked Dad.
“Which what?” he replied playing dumb.
“Which TV did you get?”
“I didn’t get a TV.”
A salesman walked up to him and handed him something, “Just
sign here, Mr. McCloud, and we’ll be all finished. Your new TV should be
delivered by noon tomorrow.”
“No TV, huh?” I asked.
“How did you know?” Dad asked.