Changing of the Guard
By Maddie Valasek
Part Eight
'What a mess,' I thought as I got ready for bed. I'd spent the last few
hours dissecting the evening's events with my parents. I'm one of those
lucky kids that feel they can talk to their parents about anything. We
didn't find any answers to my questions, but I did feel better knowing
that I didn't do anything wrong that we could tell.
I was afraid that I had totally overreacted to the whole situation and
made it worse than it was. Mom agreed that being upset was
understandable, but refrained from blasting Becca for her behavior on
the grounds that technically Allison kissed her. She did think it wasn't
very good form for her not to end it rather quickly. Dad agreed.
Together we decided that being angry and upset was OK, but ending things
with Bec before she had a chance to explain was unfair.
After having time to think about what happened, I felt a little silly
for my reaction. I was still upset about the whole situation, but I
didn't feel it warranted my ballistic behavior. I wondered why I had
flipped out. Normally I'm a fairly stable person not prone to fits and
outbursts.
I suspected that my insecurity about myself had a large part in it. That
nagging evil little voice in my head said that Bec should chose the
beautiful college girl over some mixed up boy trying to act like a girl.
I honestly wouldn't blame her, but she deserves much more credit than
that. She isn't the type of girl to base her relationships on looks
alone. If what I heard was correct, then Allison had abruptly dumped her
on the mere possibility of sleeping with someone else. I'm sure Bec
wouldn't allow her a second chance to do that.
'I'm a complete social moron,' I thought and, for a few seconds, longed
for my outcast days.
My phone started buzzing on my dresser. I didn't jump out of bed to get
it. Part of me wanted to, but a bigger part of me didn't trust myself to
talk to her.
"Not yet," I told the phone. As if it heard me, it fell silent.
Strangely, I felt a little guilty for not picking it up. A few hours
before I would have eagerly jumped up to answer it. One simple little
kiss had messed things up to the point where even a phone call was more
than I wanted to deal with. What did that say about my ability to handle
a relationship?
I think that I may have progressed from first date to major relationship
problems faster than any other human had ever done. Somewhere there was
a schizophrenic monkey with way too much control over my life. I really
needed to figure out how to get my life out of its hands and give it to
something more capable or at least lazier. Perhaps a nice sedate sloth
would be a better choice? At least then I wouldn't have the wonderful
ups and downs I have been having as of late.
Wouldn't it be nice if life came with a handbook? Any time you have a
problem you could flip it open and find your answer. Toilet clogged?
Page 23. Stain on your favorite shirt? Page 61. Totally screwed up your
first date? Page 139. Too bad it doesn't exist.
It's all up to me to figure out what to do next. We all know how that
usually turns out. Sleep definitely wasn't coming easily for me. The
longer I stared at my ceiling and tried to will myself to sleep, the
more I wanted to see Bec. That wasn't going to get me anywhere, so I
slid out of bed and went downstairs to the kitchen.
Somewhere in my internal musings, I got the idea of chocolate in my
head. The idea blossomed into a craving and I was all out of chocolate
bars. Figures. I do have a back up plan for when that happens. While
it's not quite as good as the real deal. A tall glass of very chocolaty
milk can send that craving back to wherever cravings come from. Does
anybody really know where that is?
There's only one perfect way to make a glass of chocolate milk. First,
it has to be in a glass container. Be it a cup, mug, tankard, or
whatever, it must be made of glass. In a perfect world, it would be
chilled as well, but that takes planning. As a late night craving
satisfier, I had to skip the chilled part... darn it.
Next, you have to gather your ingredients. Only Hershey's chocolate
syrup can take care of a Hershey's chocolate bar craving and I always
have some of that in the fridge. It's really good on ice cream, too. You
can't have chocolate milk without the milk. Some folks may be using two
percent or even skim milk but that's just a tragedy. Don't diet this
one. Go for good old-fashioned whole milk. You'll thank me for that one
later.
Ok, time for the preparation. Take whatever container you're using and
add your chocolate. I like a little milk with my chocolate so I fill it
about a fifth of the way. The milk naturally comes next. Mix it
thoroughly. My favorite method is the butter knife method. Instead of a
spoon, which always seems to leave a little bit around the edges at the
bottom, I go with a butter knife. It does a much better job of getting
that yummy chocolate all mixed in.
My freshly prepared glass of chocolate milk and I then moved to the
living room where I plopped down on the couch. As I sat there sipping
the chocolaty goodness and trying to clear my head, my inner
photographer started looking around I noticed moonlight shining through
Mom's newly installed plantation blinds. I was drawn by the pattern of
surreal bars of moonlight wrapping around anything they touched.
It wasn't until a few moments later that I noticed the intensity and
brightness of the light. 'Must be a full moon,' I thought and went to
the window to confirm my suspicions. It was a full bright moon but
something else was out there. Bec's Rover was parked in a deep shadow.
The SUV's black paint nearly made it invisible.
'What is she doing out there?' I wondered. It was well into the early
morning hours and I had thought she was at home. It never occurred to me
that she would be sitting outside my house. Part of me thought it was
stalker creepy and part of me felt it was sweet. There was only one way
to find out which it was. Besides, I really didn't want her falling
asleep in the Rover no matter how big and comfy it was.
I wasn't planning on being outside for long so I pulled on a pair of
jeans under my nightie and grabbed my cardigan as a coverup. I skipped
shoes completely and slipped out of the house trying not to wake anyone.
Crossing the street, I realized I was very glad she was there.
I surprised her when I opened the passenger door and slid in next to
her. "Bec, what are you doing out here?" I asked. She started to say
something a few times but her mind couldn't find the words. I sat
quietly for a minute and let her collect her thoughts.
"I really have no idea. I drove here hoping I'd get a chance to see you,
but when you didn't answer my calls I figured I'd completely screwed
things up. I know I should have gone home hours ago, but I just couldn't
bring myself to leave," she answered.
She looked as if she'd had a rough night. Her hair was pulled back into
a ponytail revealing red and puffy eyes. Her makeup had disappeared
somewhere during the evening, and she wore a very worried look on her
face.
"Bec, I..." was all I managed to say before she cut back in.
"Just listen to what I have to say and if you still hate me, then I
promise not to bother you anymore." She rushed fearing that it was her
only chance to convince me to hear her out.
"I'm listening and I don't hate you."
Her reply was dripping with self-loathing, "Thank you. I am so sorry for
what happened. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have done that. We were on
our first date for Heaven's sake. How stupid can I be?"
"I don't like the situation but no need to get that down on yourself.
What happened?"
"It's stupid. Allison was trying to get back with me, but I wasn't even
tempted. The way the bitch dropped me when she graduated let me know
exactly how she felt about me. She wouldn't take no for an answer and
kept dragging me around the place.
"After about the thousandth time I told her to get lost, she tried to
make a deal with me. She asked to give me one kiss and if I felt nothing
then she would leave me alone. She was trying to talk her way into my
pants and I knew it, but I thought that a single kiss would be worth
getting rid of her, so I agreed I didn't think you'd ever know about it.
Yeah, that was stupid of me. Those things always have a way of finding
their way around.
"After she finished, I told her the truth. I didn't feel anything but
pity for the person she had become. She looked at me like I slapped her,
which I wanted to do, then turned and stalked off. I went to look for
you and found Paul and Anna. They barely realized that you were with me.
Anna said she remembered you walking off in the opposite direction
Allison had dragged me.
"You are an amazing person, Jules. If I had been you, I don't think I
could have resisted the urge to follow and keep and eye on things. I was
so happy that you trusted me enough not to follow.
"Then I got your text message. I felt like the biggest bitch on the
planet. I had no idea where you went. I hoped that maybe you'd call
Brian and he could tell me where you were. When he said he hadn't heard
from you I lost it. It took him a few minutes to talk me down, then he
said he'd call you and find out where you were," she stated.
"I think I overreacted. I don't know why for sure, but I blew things way
out of proportion," I offered.
"No, you had every right to be upset. If our positions were reversed,
who knows what kind of damage I would have done. I don't blame you if
you don't want to see me anymore."
"Do you have any other ex-girlfriends I need to know about?"
"No, Allison is the only one I hadn't mentioned."
"Anything else you haven't mentioned? No boyfriends or anything," I
asked calmly.
"Not that I can think of," she replied cautiously. "Eww, definitely not
any boys."
"Then this was a one time event and it won't happen again?"
"Definitely. You are the only girl I want to kiss. I promise," she
answered hopefully.
"Can we keep it that way? I really hate not getting the last kiss on a
date," I smiled. I still didn't like what had happened, but I wasn't
willing to let us end over it.
"Look Jules, I am so sorry about what happened. It was..."
I cut her off before she could berate herself anymore. "What is done is
done. We can't change the past but we can learn from it."
"When did you get all Zen about this?"
"Don't get me wrong. I'm still not happy about another girl kissing you,
but that's what it was. Another girl was kissing you. Not you kissing
another girl."
"I still feel like a the biggest bitch, though."
"Good, just remember that if the urge to cheat ever surfaces. I won't be
so forgiving a second time," I warned.
"Considered me warned. So we're good now?"
"We're good," I smiled. Being upset with her was something I didn't
particularly like. Kissing her is so much better. She apparently thought
the same about me since she leaned over and kissed me.
"Ewww, Allison goo! Ack! Gah!" I overly dramatized.
"That's just wrong. Cute, but wrong," Bec stated trying not to join me
in my laughing fit but failing. "I so love you Jules."
Once we purged ourselves of every last giggle and caught our breath, she
made a second attempt at kissing me. I wasn't going to fight it again.
Instead I enjoyed being close to her and told that nagging voice in my
head to shut up for once. The kiss wasn't aggressive. It was more like a
tender confirmation that we were still together.
"See, wasn't that better than kissing some gorgeous blonde?" I asked
after she let me come up for air.
"Blondes are overrated. I've always had a thing for brunettes," she
smiled devilishly.
"Go home before we both get into trouble."
"Yeah, I think I've had enough trouble for one evening. Care to try
again next weekend?"
"As long as it's just the two of us this time."
Bec gave me her devilish grin, "I think that can be arranged."
Another round of kissing was followed by me making a quick exit of the
vehicle. I didn't want to get out, but there was no telling what would
have happened if I didn't. "Now go home, Love. It's way passed my
bedtime."
She smiled at me and started the Rover. "I'm going and Jules, I love
you." Coolly, she put the SUV in gear and drove away.
As I was walking back inside those last words echoed through my head. I
smiled and thought, 'I love you, Bec.'
since 2/10/08