Misstrial
© 2003 by Nom de Plume
* * *
“Ruth, we have your husband dead to rights on adultery and
abandonment. If it weren’t for what you did to your son, he wouldn’t have a
leg to stand on.” Dexter Boyd looked across his cluttered desk at his client,
wondering how she would respond. He had kept her off the stand during her criminal
trial, but her divorce proceeding would be altogether different.
“I did what I had to do,” she said defensively.
“Not good enough. His attorney is going to skin you alive
for tricking your son into taking those drugs. Unless you have a very good
reason for what you did, you are going to lose all parental rights, and any
chance of a reasonable financial settlement.”
Mrs. Geiss nodded her head. “I know that. What I just told
you is true. I had to make Elliott take those pills.”
“But why?”
“My son was a late bloomer, but he was on the brink of puberty.
Any day I expected his voice to start changing. What if that had happened
while he was attending Francis Xavier as Elise?”
“Couldn’t you have just pulled him out of the school?”
“And then what? Elliott Geiss was wanted dead or alive by
half of Chicago. That’s why I did this to him. I had to protect him.”
Boyd eyed his client thoughtfully. It might hold up, as
long as she didn’t overplay it, but they were entering a minefield. “Are you
telling me that you decided to emasculate him to save his life?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“I suppose you only wanted to put off his puberty until his
father got home to protect him.”
“Yes! That’s exactly what I meant.”
“Of course. And if your husband hadn’t stayed in Japan with
his girlfriend for almost three months, the effect of the drugs would have been
only temporary, am I right?”
“You are a hundred percent right.”
“So you put Elliott on a dosage that would have been quickly
reversible unless he was required to keep taking the drugs for a lengthy period
of time for his own safety.”
“Yes, Mr. Boyd. That’s exactly how it happened.”
Dexter Boyd got up from his desk. “We’ll go over your
testimony again before the hearing. Right now, I need to talk to your
children.”
“Can’t we keep them out of this?”
“Not if you want to maintain custody. Getting that hung
jury gives us a leg up, and I don’t think the prosecutors would have lowered
your bail if they were going to retry the case, but if Sarah and Elise say the
wrong things, you could wind up losing them both.”
* * *
“I always wanted a little sister,” Sarah said as she played
with her long blonde hair.
Dexter Boyd regarded his client’s daughter with a jaundiced
eye. Short of sending her out of the country, how was he going to get this
ticking bombshell under control?
“How would you describe your relationship with your
brother?”
“You mean when he was my brother? He was a twerp. A royal
pain in the wazoo.”
“What was your reaction when your mother told you about her
plans to disguise him as a girl?”
“I was hysterical. The night she told me, I laughed so hard
I thought I was gonna split.”
“What exactly did your mother say to you that night?”
“She took me into my room and said, real serious like,
‘Sarah, I’m going to need your help with something very important. Your
brother’s very life depends on it.’”
Boyd scribbled something in his yellow pad. “Please go on,”
he said, grateful that she was holding nothing back. Plenty of time to trim
her testimony later.
“When I asked her what she meant, she said, ‘We are going to
give Elliott a makeover and send him to a different school as a girl.’ Like I
said, that was the funniest thing I ever heard. I laughed so hard, Mom got
really pissed, and she told me to shut up. She said we had to pull together as
a family, and that she would need my help. Then she told me I would be
grounded for the rest of the year if I ever let anybody find out what we were
going to do to Elliott.”
“What did she ask you to do, to help out I mean?”
“Well, first we went through my clothes to find some things
that might fit him. Mom said we’d buy him his own stuff, but that first I
needed to give him an outfit that he could wear to church, to see if he could,
you know, pass as a girl. I busted out laughing again, and for a minute I
thought she was going to ground me then and there.”
“Then what happened?”
“Mom broke the news to Elliott.”
“What did she say?”
“I don’t know. She took him into her bedroom. I tried to
listen outside the door, but all I heard was Elliott shouting, ‘No way! Dad
would never let you do this to me!’ Then somebody threw a bowling ball through
the living room window, and we all ran downstairs.”
“What happened next?”
“Mom told us to go to our rooms while she called the cops.”
Boyd made another note on his legal pad. “Did you talk to
her again that night?”
“Yes. She came into my room like an hour later. I was
listening to a CD with my headphones on, and I didn’t know she was in my room until
she sat down on my bed.”
“What did she say to you?”
“She told me to keep quiet while she whispered her plans.”
“Her plans?”
“She said she knew Elliott was going to put up a fight, but
that she had a way to chill him out.”
“Were those your mother’s words?”
“Well no, I can’t remember exactly what she said, but it was
like, ‘I have some medicine that will make it easier for Elliott to accept what
is happening to him.’”
“Did you ask her what the medicine was?”
“No. Mom used to be a pharmacist, so I figured she knew
what she was doing.”
“I see. Did your mother say anything else to you?”
“Just that she was counting on me to help. Oh yeah, and she
told me again that I would be grounded for the rest of the year if I told
anybody what we were doing to Elliott.”
Boyd shifted gears. “Tell me what it was like around your
house once Elliott assumed his new identity.”
“I missed seeing him before he left for his first day of
school, but I was there when he got home.” She closed her eyes and thought
back to that bright October afternoon.
* * *
Sarah was waiting in the kitchen when Elise and Mrs. Geiss
came in from the garage. “How was your first day at school, Sis?” she asked
sweetly.
“Up yours,” Elise snarled. She tossed her backpack down on
the kitchen table and collapsed into one of the Hitchcock chairs, carelessly
letting her jumper ride up to her thighs.
Mrs. Geiss tugged the dress down over Elise’s knees. “Even
when you’re home, dear, remember to sit and act like a lady.”
Elise was too demoralized to protest. Even when her mother
placed her favorite snack in front of her, a slice of pizza with a glass of root
beer, she toyed with it as she tried to forget about her new life as a
schoolgirl at Francis Xavier.
“What did you have for lunch today?” Mrs. Geiss asked her.
“Some kind of mystery meat next to cement potatoes.”
“Did you make any friends?” she asked gently.
Elise snapped. “Give me a break. I didn’t say squat to
anybody all day, except the teachers who called on me, and even then I was
afraid to open my mouth.”
“I’m sure you’ll get used to it.”
“Used to what? Pretending that I’m a girl? How long do I
have to do this anyway?”
“Just until your father gets back. I’ve told him that as
soon as he returns to Chicago, I’ll go along with whatever he wants to do.
Until then, you’ll just have to go along with me. As I told you yesterday,
unless you make a scene or call attention to yourself, nobody is going to guess
that you’re really a boy. If I were you, I’d have a little fun with this while
it lasts.”
“Fun?”
“Sure,” Sarah chimed it. “This can be so cool. I’d love to
go to a different school and pretend to be a guy for a while. It’s like a book
we just read in social studies, Black Like Me, about a guy in the
sixties who darkens his skin and goes down south. You could be like a spy in
the battle of the sexes!”
Elise seemed to mull this over as she washed down a bite of
pizza with her root beer. “You’re on,” she said suddenly. “Only to really get
into this, I’m gonna have to be a skank.”
“What?” Mrs. Geiss asked as Sarah started to giggle.
“I wanna nose ring, a tattoo, and some new threads…like
something Gothic? Sarah, you got any black nail polish? God, I need a
cigarette.” Sarah was holding her sides laughing.
“All right, girls, off to your rooms to do your homework,”
Mrs. Geiss said. “Elise, make sure you hang up your jumper if you want to put
on your new jeans. And bring down that blouse so I can wash and iron it for
tomorrow. Your new uniform won’t be in until next week.” She shook her head
as her two daughters swatted at each other on their way up the stairs.
* * *
Sister Delano was a few minutes early for her appointment
with Dexter Boyd. After she took a seat in the small but elegant reception
area, she flipped through a month-old copy of People magazine, noting
with alarm the various states of undress revealed in photograph after
photograph.
Dexter Boyd’s secretary ushered her into a small conference
room, where the attorney was waiting along with a younger lawyer, an attractive
Hispanic woman who introduced herself as Gloria DeSoto. “Gloria is the head of
our family law practice. She will be the lead attorney in the representation
of Ruth Geiss,” Boyd explained.
Gloria took charge of the interview after Boyd excused
himself to attend to an urgent matter. “Sister, have you ever testified in
court before?” she asked.
“No. In fact, I don’t think I have ever been in a
courtroom. What, if I may ask, led you into the legal profession?”
“My father was an abogado in Mexico City. He worked for a
large multinational company, and eventually transferred to Chicago when I was
twelve. I graduated from Francis Xavier the year before you got there.”
“Gloria DeSoto! I remember hearing about you from some of
the other faculty. You went to Notre Dame on a full scholarship.”
“That’s right, and then Georgetown law.”
Sister Delano was enraptured.
* * *
Dexter Boyd was waiting for Gloria in his office after
Sister Delano left. “How did it go, counselor?” he asked.
“Your fears are confirmed. If we’re foolish enough to put
Sister Delano on the stand, she will single-handedly send our client to the Cook
County poorhouse.”
“That bad?”
“That woman has the worst hang-up about sex I have ever come
across.”
“Details.”
Gloria read from her notes. “‘I wish all young men were
given a taste of what Elliott Geiss had to go through. Before he entered my
class, he was a rude and unruly ruffian with a C- average, headed straight down
the path towards Hell. Look at Elise now! A model student, perhaps the most
gifted I’ve had in my class! Why? No testosterone!’”
“Jesus!”
“Wait, there’s more. ‘When she came to me and asked my
permission to attend a school formal with a gay student, I went to the dance
myself to observe them. She was so precious! Trying to dance in her fancy
dress, so sweet and innocent compared to the real girls and boys with their
raging hormones!’”
“Say no more. Sister Delano is hereby scratched from our
witness list.”
“You know what worries me?”
“What?”
“Elise may wind up back in Sister Delano’s class.”
“As a very wise judge once told me, ‘I cannot solve all the
problems of this world.’”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning our job is to win a huge award for our client, and
make sure she gets custody of her children. What she does with them is not up
to us.”
“That bothers me.”
“Wait until you meet Elise’s father before you pass final
judgment.”
"Can't wait." Gloria glanced at her
watch. "Got to run. I'm meeting Elise's doctor for a
drink."
"Go easy. You know how doctors feel about
lawyers."
"I'm not so sure how I feel about lawyers myself right
now."
* * *
Dr. Anne Saggett was sipping a Cosmopolitan at a small table
near the Hyatt Regency bar. The hotel was crowded with
conventioneers, and the surrounding hubbub provided a kind of privacy
as she fielded questions from Gloria DeSoto. Gloria, possessed with a
photographic memory, took no notes, which lowered the doctor’s guard.
"Did you examine Elliott Geiss?"
"Yes. His mother called and explained that he was
experiencing a reaction to female hormones."
"Did his mother say why he was taking the
hormones?"
"She said it was a temporary situation, to help
disguise him as a girl until the death threats against him went away. Like
everybody else in Chicago, I thought he had fled the country. Mrs. Geiss
asked me not to mention any of this Elliott during his examination."
"Did you agree to that?"
"Certainly. Although Elliott was technically my
patient, I would be expected to honor his mother’s wishes."
"What did your examination show?"
"My physical examination revealed profound atrophy of
the testicles, the development of breast tissue, and a
redistribution of his subcutaneous fat layer. Subsequent
blood work indicated elevated levels of estrogen and progestin, trace
levels of an anti-androgen, and the complete absence of testosterone. In
layman's terms, he was well on his way through female puberty.”
“Are you saying that he was turning into a girl?”
“Not quite. His genitalia were still indicative of a male,
although for all intents and purposes, he had been chemically castrated."
"Was any of this reversible?"
"Elliott's prolonged exposure to the drugs in his
system rendered him irreversibly
impotent. In other words, his ability to father a
child was permanently destroyed. However, it would still be possible to
reverse some or all of his secondary female characteristics, and to reinstate
his male attributes, through aggressive hormone therapy."
"What would that do?"
"Well, it would be similar to sex change therapy for
female-to-male transsexuals. For example, he would regain a significant
level of male musculature, and might be able to grow a beard. But he
would never be able to father a child."
“Did you present this alternative to Mrs. Geiss?”
“I never had the opportunity. Before I could talk to her, she
was taken into custody.”
“So you never discussed this with anyone?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Who did you tell?”
“Elliott’s father.”
* * *
Gloria DeSoto talked urgently into her cell phone as she
walked along Wacker Drive on her way back to the office. “Trouble,” she said.
“What kind of trouble?” Dexter Boyd asked.
“It turns out Doctor Saggett tried to call Mrs. Geiss the
day her husband got home from Japan. Evidently Mr. Geiss was in the house when
the doctor called, cleaning out his desk and closet, and he answered the phone.
Not knowing anything about the dispute between her patient’s parents, she
naturally told Elise’s father about her diagnosis.”
“I always wondered how the D.A. zeroed in on Ruth so fast.”
“According to the doctor, he went ballistic when she told
him, and threatened to sue her for malpractice before he hung up.”
“I think it’s time for us to interview Elise.”
* * *
On Saturday morning, Ruth and Elise Geiss drove downtown to
Dexter Boyd’s office on LaSalle Street. It was a rainy March day, and Elise
wore a jacket over her short skirt and tee shirt. Her bare legs were
splattered by the time they ran two blocks from their parking lot to the
lawyer’s building.
The weekend routine at Dexter Boyd’s law firm was casual,
although the lawyer himself was impeccable as always in a double-breasted suit,
monogrammed white shirt, and matching tie and pocket square. By prearranged
plan, Mrs. Geiss dropped off Elise and left to do some shopping on State Street.
Boyd was waiting for his client’s daughter in the conference room, and after
Elise sat down they were jointed by Gloria DeSoto, looking more like a fashion model
than a lawyer in her designer jeans and cashmere sweater.
Gloria had never laid eyes on Elise, and she found it hard
not to stare. Had she not known the truth, she would have sworn that their
infamous witness was a normal teenage girl. Her hair, wet from the rain, was
short and slicked back. Her pretty face had just a trace of makeup. Gloria
could detect budding breasts pressing against her tee shirt, and a discreet
glance under the conference room table confirmed that she was wearing a skirt.
“You did a great job at Mom’s trial,” Elise said to Dexter
Boyd. She was referring to the attorney’s brilliant performance at her mother’s
criminal case, which had ended in a hung jury the week before. “Do you think she’ll
have to stand trial again?”
Boyd flashed a wicked smile. “I sat next to the District
Attorney at a bar dinner last night, and I have it on very good authority that
the charges against your mother are going to be dismissed.”
“Great! Does that help with her divorce?”
“Immeasurably. But we still have our work cut out for us.
Your father is going to try to establish that she is an unfit mother, and he
will use you to try to prove it.”
“What makes you think he really wants me and Sarah”
“He may not,” Gloria answered. “But he knows that your
mother does, and his lawyer will try to use that as leverage to negotiate a
lower settlement.”
“How can I help?” Elise asked.
“By telling me everything that happened after your father
returned from Japan,” Boyd said.
Elise pulled a sheaf of papers and a spiral notebook out of
her purse. “Would this help?”
“What is it?” Boyd asked as he leafed through a few pages of
neat handwriting on the stationery of an exclusive Chicago hotel.
“Dad took my journal away from me when Mom went to jail and
I moved into his hotel.”
“I know. He gave it to the police, and it was used as evidence
in the case against your mother.”
“That’s my Dad. Anyway, I had a lot of time to myself in
the hotel, and I guess I got kind of hooked on keeping a journal, so I kept on writing.”
She pointed to the top sheet of paper. “The first thing I tried was one of
those schmaltzy inserts you get with Christmas cards….”
* * *
Merry Christmas from Winnetka! It’s been another banner
year for the Geiss family.
Of course, the highlight of the year came in October, when
Elliott put an end to the baseball season. It’s been estimated that he
personally cost Chicago’s hotels, bars and restaurants almost fifty million
dollars! The entire family has a standing invitation to spend a week in San
Diego, all expenses paid.
We won’t be going there anytime soon. Ruth is behind bars,
and George is fighting her efforts to get released on bail. It looks like she
will be spending the Holidays in jail.
George is still commuting to Tokyo, and between the demands
of his job and his lovely young bimbo, he is busier than ever! You should have
seen his face when he came home on Christmas Eve and saw his son dressed up as
a girl.
That’s right, it’s been an interesting year for Elliott. He
managed to stay one step ahead of the death threats by enrolling in Francis Xavier
Academy as Elise! He just loves going to school every day in a dress, and you
should have seen him and his date at the Christmas formal.
Of course, Sarah is enjoying having a little sister around
the house, and she has been such a help to Elise with her clothes and makeup.
Now that Ruth is in custody, Sarah is doing double duty around the house, and
still maintaining her C average and very active social life!
Sorry we didn’t enclose our traditional family portrait, but
as soon as we figure out whether Elliott is a boy or a girl, we’ll send one off
to you. Here’s hoping the New Year is as full of fun and surprises at your
house as it’s been for the Geiss family!
George, Ruth, Sarah, and Elliott/Elise
* * *
“You have a gift,” Dexter Boyd said dryly as Gloria stifled
her laughter. She found herself becoming fascinated with Elise. “What else
did you write about?” Boyd asked.
“The next thing was my New Year’s Resolutions.”
* * *
I, Elliott Geiss, hereby resolve to better myself in the New
Year by doing the following:
1. I will not take it upon myself to interfere in any way
with the Chicago Cubs, the Chicago White Sox, the Chicago Bears, the Chicago
Bulls, the Chicago Black Hawks, or any other professional sports team in the United
States of America.
2. I hereby resolve to give up the following:
a. dresses
b. skirts
c. bras
d. panties
e. tights and/or stockings
f. high heels
g. lipstick
h. earrings
3. I will pump iron until my body bulges in the right
places.
4. I will cut my hair.
5. I will keep playing tennis.
6. I will take out Maddy McGann and get into her pants.
* * *
“I don’t get it,” Gloria said. “From reading this, one
would think for sure that you were going to go back to being Elliott.”
“That’s all I wanted,” Elise said with a sigh.
“So what happened?” Gloria asked gently.
“After Mom was arrested, Dad told us he would take Sarah and
me to Japan. Sarah totally freaked. She said there was no way she was going
to leave all her friends in high school, and she even threatened to kill
herself. Dad finally agreed that until the end of the school year, she could
stay in the house with Grandma Huhn, who offered to drive up from Omaha on Christmas
Day.
“Dad had a suite at a fancy hotel in Chicago, and he asked me
if I wanted to stay with him. I was saved! He told me to change back into my
guy clothes, and he couldn’t believe it when I told him they were all gone.
‘Thank God I came back when I did,’ he told me. ‘What kind of pussy are you
turning into?’ I scrounged around and found a sweatshirt and jeans that made
me look halfway like a guy, and I moved into his hotel with him that night.”
A look of infinite sadness came over Elise’s face. “The
next morning, Dad came into my bedroom to wish me a Merry Christmas, and I
could tell from his face the something was really wrong. I slept in the buff,
and when Dad got a look at my body, he went nuts. ‘What have they done to
you?’ he shouted. I guess I didn’t want to admit to myself how far gone I was,
but he kept saying, over and over, ‘You turned into a girl! That bitch turned
you into a girl!’
“Even though it was Christmas, he spent all morning trying
to find a doctor to look at me. Finally he got hold of my old pediatrician in Winnetka,
and we drove out to his house that afternoon. Dad didn’t say a word to me all
the way out there. Because all the stores were closed, I had on my girl’s
jeans and the sweatshirt, and my hair was tucked up under a baseball cap. I
felt like a total wuss when the doctor’s son opened the door and took me for a
girl, and I could tell that Dad was really pissed.
“Dad insisted on standing there while the doctor had me
strip down in his office. He poked my chest, and he spent a lot of time
looking at my dick and balls. He asked me all kinds of questions about my diet
and any medicines I was taking. I told him about the purple pills that Mom
gave me to keep my zits under control, and he asked me to describe them. Then
he told me to put my clothes back on, and he and Dad took a walk in the back
yard. I looked through the window, and saw Dad arguing with him about
something. The doctor just kept shaking his head.
“Finally we got into the car and started driving back to Chicago.
I asked Dad what the doctor told him, and he refused to answer me. He just
kept staring straight ahead. When we got back to the hotel, he told me to
order whatever I wanted from room service, and
then he went into his bedroom and closed the door.
“When I went to call room service, I noticed that one of the
lines was already lit up. Dad was using the phone in his room to talk to
someone. I was desperate to learn what was happening to me, so I picked up the
phone and listened in. He was talking to his girlfriend in Tokyo. I’ll never
forget his words. ‘The bitch fed him chemicals which castrated him. His balls
have shriveled up and died, and he’s growing a pair of tits. He’ll never
become a man. I no longer have a son.’
“I hung up and sat there on my bed, sick to my stomach. I
didn’t want to believe it, but I knew that something strange was happening to
me, and now I knew why. The pills that Mom made me take every morning turned
me into a girl.
“I was still sitting there when Grandma Huhn called and
tried to talk to me. She said she spoke to my Mom, who asked her to wish me a
Merry Christmas. I told her I hated my mother and never wanted to see her
again. Dad overheard me, and after I hung up he gave me a watered-down version
of what the doctor told him.
“I kept screaming that I didn’t want to be a girl. He told me
it was too late, and yelled at me to stop being such a pansy! He said the only
thing I could hope for was drugs that would make me look like a guy again, but
I could never really be one. Then he hit the mini bar. I closed my door and cried
myself to sleep. My whole life was like some horrible nightmare.
“On Monday, Dad took me to a barber shop for a haircut.
Then we went to a men’s store to get me some normal clothes. I’ll never forget
the look on my father’s face when I changed into my new clothes. One look in
the mirror told me what was wrong. I looked like a girl with a short haircut pretending
to be a guy.
“We were walking back to the car when we passed a
newsstand. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I saw the
headlines in the morning paper.” Elise pulled a news clipping out of her
purse.
NO BAIL FOR FOUL BOY’S MOTHER
Chicago – Ruth Geiss, the Winnetka woman arrested on
Christmas Eve for chemically castrating her 13-year-old son, will remain in Cook
County Jail until her trial. Her husband, George Geiss, has refused to post the
$500,000 bond necessary for her to be released on bail. Mrs. Geiss, who was
taken into custody after her husband reported her to the authorities, is
accused of administering female hormones to her son Elliott to enable him to
pass as a girl named Elise Huhn at Francis Xavier Academy. According to her
attorney, Dexter Boyd, Mrs. Geiss was trying to protect her son from death
threats he received after his interference with a foul ball during the National
League playoffs cost the Cubs a trip to the World Series.
Elise folded up the clipping and put it back into her purse.
“Dad had to drag me away from the newsstand. When I asked him if this meant I
had to live in his hotel until Mom got out of jail, he shook his head and told
me he was heading back to Japan at the end of the week, and that he wouldn’t be
back in Chicago until Mom’s trial.
“I asked him if that meant I got to go to Japan with him.
He told me he didn’t think so, that he had a lot of work to do over there and
that there was no place for me to stay. At that moment I realized that he
didn’t really care what happened to me any more. As soon as he found out what
was wrong with me, he just wrote me off. I guess the last thing he wanted was
some kind of freak hanging around while he was getting it on with his
girlfriend.” Elise wiped a tear away from her eye and looked down at her
hands.
“So what did he do with you?” Gloria asked softly.
“He told me he was sending me to a military school in Wisconsin.
I lost it, and told him there was no way I was going to go. He told me to shut
up and called me a sissy. He said what happened to me was my own fault, and
that I must have been a real wimp to let Mom do what she did to me.
“I don’t know who I hated more, my Mom for the horrible
thing she did, or my Dad what he said and did afterwards. At least Mom was
trying to look out for me. Dad just wanted me out of his life.” Her voice
trailed off sadly, and she wiped away another tear.
“Did you go to military school?”
“For over a month. The worst experience of my life. Even
in my uniform, I looked like a girl in drag, and I got called every name you
could imagine: fag, fairy, femboy…one night a guy tried to give it to me up
the ass in the shower, and after I kicked him in the balls he beat the shit out
of me. I spent the night in the infirmary, and before dawn I put on some
clothes I stole out of the janitor’s closet and sneaked out a window. I walked
for miles before I was able to hitch a ride back to Illinois.”
“Where did you go?” Gloria asked.
“He went back to Winnetka,” Dexter Boyd said. “His mother
was frantic when he was reported missing, and on a hunch I drove out to the
house and found him there.”
“What happened next?”
Elise pointed to the spiral notebook on the conference room
table. “I started writing my journal again.”
* * *
Friday February 19
I slept until noon in my old bed. When I woke up, for a
minute I thought I was back at military school, until I saw the sleeve of one
of Sarah’s nightgowns. Grandma made me put it on last night when I went to
bed, and I was so tired and so relieved to be back home, I didn’t care.
I am still stiff and sore from the beating I got in the
shower. Doctor Saggett actually made a house call yesterday, she said it was
the first one ever for her, and she told Grandma I have two bruised ribs but no
broken bones, plus the shiner under my right eye. Dr. Saggett didn’t say
anything about my little titties or my dick and balls, which are still all
shriveled up, and I was afraid to ask her.
At least I don’t have to go back to school until the
swelling goes down. Grandma checked with my junior high, and I am so far ahead
of the rest of the kids after a semester at Francis Xavier, it looks like I’ll still
be able to graduate with my old class.
Saturday February 20
Grandma found my guy clothes in the attic and brought them
down to my room. She told me she was sorry to be losing her granddaughter, but
happy to have her grandson back. It felt great to put on my old clothes,
except I have to admit to myself that they don’t fit right anymore. My ass and
hips got bigger, my waist is skinnier than ever, and my chest is embarrassing.
Grandma and Sarah went to visit Mom, but they told me there
was no need for me to go with them. Grandma knows how I feel about what Mom
did to me. I’m even madder at Dad. When he found out I was back home, he
didn’t even bother to call. At least Mom still cares about me, according to Grandma
and Sarah.
Here’s a newsflash: Saturday night, and Sarah stayed home
to study for a big German test she has on Monday. She’s walking around the
house trying to memorize the names of plants and animals.
Sunday February 21
Grandma and Sarah went to church, and I slept till noon again. We had a big breakfast when they got home. I’m finally starting to put some
weight back on, in all the wrong places.
Sarah asked me if I wanted to go to the mall with her in the
afternoon. She has her drivers license now, and I think she just wanted to be
nice, or maybe Grandma put her up to it. I said thanks but no thanks. I just
can’t face the outside world.
Monday February 22
I am beyond public humiliation. A Chicago shock jock has
offered me $500 to come into his studio wearing a dress. Sarah heard it on the
radio on the way to school, and told me about it when she got home.
Then another radio station started a poll, asking its
listeners if I should be allowed to throw out the first ball at the Cubs’ home
opener if I wear a dress to Wrigley Field. The vote was like 95% in favor.
The only good news about becoming a laughingstock is that nobody is threatening
to kill me anymore. One newspaper columnist said I was now part of Chicago
history, like Mrs. O’Leary’s cow.
Tuesday February 23
I think I had a wet dream last night. I haven’t been able
to think about sex for months, and then all of a sudden I wake up with soggy
pajamas. It felt so good! I don’t think I got hard, but I definitely got
off. Here’s the weird part: it happened when I was dreaming that I was Elise.
In my dream, I was putting on a dress when I suddenly woke up with a wicked
feeling between my legs.
I spent most of the afternoon on the Internet, looking for
sites that might explain why I had that dream. I was blown away by what I
found. I found dozens of sites about hormones, support groups for crossdressers,
raunchy pay sites featuring chicks with dicks, you name it. Welcome to my
world.
Wednesday February 24
Another dream about me being Elise. No little “o” this
time, I think I woke up too soon, so I lay in bed and stroked what’s left of me
while I tried to remember what it was like to be her. Suddenly my whole body
shivered and I had the most amazing feeling that went right down to my toes. I
never got hard, and not much dribbled out, but it felt so good!
Another afternoon on the Internet. I think I understand
what is happening. I used to hate the thought of being a girl. Maybe it’s
because I know I can never be a guy again, but the part of me that used to
fight it is gone. I guess that’s what happens when you get neutered. I’m just
glad I can still feel something down there.
Thursday February 25
Mom’s lawyer called today and asked to speak to me. His
name is Dexter Boyd. He told me that Mom really misses me, but that she
understands why I feel the way I do. I told him he has no idea how I feel. He
said someday he would tell me what it was like to grow up colored in Mississippi
in the sixties. I started to apologize, and he told me never to apologize for
standing up for myself. It looks like Mom has a good lawyer.
He told me the D.A. is going to try to put Mom away for a
long time, and he said they are going to use the theme I wrote for Sister
Delano, and the personal journal I wrote about my experiences at Francis
Xavier, as evidence against her! I nearly died. There is so much personal
stuff in there! I asked him how they got them, and when he told me that Dad
gave them my journal, I couldn’t believe it. How could he do that to me?
Friday February 26
Sure enough, a woman from the District Attorney’s office
called today to tell me I might have to be a witness at Mom’s trial. I just
listened to what she had to say. She told me that she hoped that I wouldn’t
have to go on the stand, but that I might have to swear that the things I said
in the theme and the journal were true. As soon as I got off the phone, I
called Dexter Boyd at the number he gave me and told him everything they said
to me. He thanked me and said if I was called as a witness, I should tell the
truth, but to let him know if the District Attorney called me again. I think I
know which side I am on now.
Saturday February 27
Grandma and Sarah were getting ready to drive to the jail to
see Mom when I asked if I could go with them. Grandma gave me a big hug and
Sarah told me she was proud of me. I wore sunglasses and a ski hat along with
my jeans and parka, and nobody looked twice at me.
The jail was like something out of the movies. Mostly black
people milling around, old ladies with screaming kids who must have been their
grandkids, waiting to talk to the women doing time. It was so bad, I can’t
even write about it.
Mom seemed surprised to see me, and she started to cry when
I told her that I didn’t hate her any more for what she did to me. She looks
so pitiful in her prison suit, so much older. I just want her to get out of
there and come back home.
Sunday February 28
I had a different kind of dream last night. I dreamed that
Mom, Sarah and I were sitting around the house in our nightgowns, just talking
after breakfast, like we used to do on Sunday mornings when I was Elise.
I don’t know why it took me so long, but it finally dawned
on me today. I miss all the little things that Mom used to do for me when I
was Elise. Even though I hated the things she made me do at the time, she was
doing it all to protect me. It was like us against the world, and it was good
to know that she was on my side. Sarah was too, even if she was a pain. I even
miss the way she used to tease me when we were sisters. Most of all, I miss
Elise. There, I said it. The question is, what am I going to do about it?
Monday March 1
When I woke up this morning, I knew what I had to do.
After Sarah left for school, I told Grandma Huhn my plan.
She asked me if I was really sure, and when I told her that I was, she started
to break down. I guess I didn’t realize how hard all this has been on her, and
when she told me how happy she was, I knew I was doing the right thing.
All of Elise’s clothes were taken away as evidence by the
police, so Grandma spent almost an hour measuring me from top to bottom, and
then she drove off to the mall.
I hear her opening the garage door!
Tuesday March 2
(no entry)
Wednesday March 3
Elise Huhn is back! I was so busy yesterday, I didn’t have
time to describe her day.
First, let me say that it is a mistake for a girl to let her
grandmother pick out her clothes. Not having much experience at being a girl,
my mistake was understandable. As I write this, I am wearing pearls and a twin
set. My pleated skirt covers my knees. Nylons and black flats complete the
look.
Whatever! I love the feeling of silk and lace against my
skin, and the way my skirt flips around when I move. When I turn sideways and
look in the mirror, I am proud of my tiny waist and the breasts pressing
against my sweater. I love how it feels when I sit down and cross my legs. My
feet hurt in these shoes, but they look cute on me.
My outfit may be lame, but Grandma definitely came through
on my wig. My hair is still too short to style, but you’d never know it. Elise
is now a blonde. With a little pink lipstick and some smoky eye liner and
shadow, she’s almost hot.
Ask the guys who kept hitting on me and Sarah when we went
to the mall after she got home from school. You should have seen the look on
my sister’s face the first time she saw me! She started jumping up and down
and hugging me, and when I told her I wanted to get some jeans and sneakers, we
piled into the car and shopped until we dropped. Grandma had a great dinner
waiting for us when we got home, and the three of us sat around the table and
talked for hours about how great it was to have Elise back.
Thursday March 4