By Jesse Rabbit Edited by Erin Halfelven of bigcloset.ateros.com
You know… In
retrospect, running from Missus Andrews was probably not the best idea I ever
had, but in my own defense, I wasn't really thinking. If I had taken the time
to think things through I would have remembered that I had a pass and let her
scold me for not getting to class post-haste. But NOOOO! I had to run. So I
did.
Have you ever tried
to figure out who is in control of your feet when you are running in a dead
panic? ‘Cause it certainly isn't your brain, ‘cause if it was, my brain would
never have steered me to the gym block. I mean, two huge wide open rooms - one
of which is half full of water - four tennis courts, one aerobics room full of
girls in leotards, one weight room full of sweaty grunting boys, and two locker
rooms… what was I thinking!
As I skidded
round the corner towards the locker rooms I thought for a few fleeting seconds
about using my five minutes, but threw that idea out ‘cause the boy me didn't
have a pass and Missus Andrews would most likely drag me off to the office to
give me detention and lecture me for a while. That would certainly take more
than five minutes and while I was shocked when it happened to me, I think
Missus Andrews would probably mega-freak.
I was running
flat out, my heart doing the cha-cha in my chest, my breath too damn loud,
trying to figure out if I dared run into one of the locker-rooms, and - if I
did dare - which one. If I ran into the girls’ room she could follow me and
would think that's where I'd gone anyway, and I'd never been in the girls'
locker room. If I went into the boy's room I'd know the layout, she'd think I'd
never run in there ‘cause I'm a girl, but on the other hand, I'd be a girl in
the boy's locker room.
I was just about
to run into the boys’ room when a pair of strong arms - one black and one
freckled - shot out of a door I hadn't noticed and grabbed me. The next thing I
knew I was lifted into the air and hustled into the room. I heard the door
click behind me, ominously or so it seemed, me having just been kidnapped by
forces unknown. When I had caught my breath, eased the throbbing pain in my
chest, and had a chance to look around, I realized where I was. The posters of
sports stars past and present, the soft couches and chairs, the small fridge
for drinks and lunches and snacks, the condom dispenser, and the wall of awards
kinda gave it away. The fact that I recognized my captors / rescuers helped
clinch it in my mind. I was in Sports Heaven, the unofficial name for the
Athlete's lounge. Since they played sports for the school they were exempted
from gym class and so they had a free period to do whatever, either study or just
relax. And all without teachers to bother them. I'd heard of this room - off
limits to all but the athletes themselves -, but had never seen it. In fact, I
hadn't even known where it was. My rescuers were, of course, the Primo Trio:
Jim Golwar, Davis Hastings, and Tyrone Bigs-Major.
They were
smiling at me, giving me that smug, self-satisfied "I just rescued the
princess" look. Davis spoke first, "Ah, fair maiden! We meet once
more!" I'm not kidding! He must be doing Ivanhoe in lit class or
something. He continued, "Did these louts harm or give thee a fright when
they didst… owww!" The oww was ‘cause Jim had just smacked him on the back
of the head, saying as he did so, "Hey Butt-munch, knock off the book
talk."
He, Jim, turned
to me and said, "Sorry bout Davis, Missy, its only that he's stupid and a
butt-munch. I'm Jim, Jim Golwar. These are my mates, Davis ‘the butt-munch’ Hastings…
owww!" - the oww being for much the same reason as before - "and
Tyrone ‘Big-Mouth’… Ha! Missed me! Owww!" I'll leave it to your
imagination who hit, missed, and whatever. Once the scuffling subsided they
turned back towards me, looking remarkably like those three hyenas in The Lion
King. (Oh damn! I just remembered that we - my family and Karen - are going to New
York tonight to see Terminator, the Musical. I already have the Original cast
recording, its soo great! I mean, when the Terminator sings Metal Man Mayhem, its
so funny. Damn! I gotta get home quick and find out how to reverse this, ‘cause
my parents will definitely notice that I'm a girl on the trip to NYC.)
While these
thoughts were racing through my mind I missed whatever the boys were saying,
and had to go "Huh?" like an airhead. They cracked up, and Tyrone
gave me a squeeze.
"She's
great! We gotta keep'er. What do you say boys?" The other two nodded and
Tyrone looked down at me. "What'dya say Missy? Wanna be our mascot?"
I, proving that I was, in point of fact, a certified super-genius, went
"huh?" again, which of course caused the boys to crack up once more.
I think they must have been too loud ‘cause the faculty buzzer went buzz and
they all went dead silent. Jim went over to the door and pressed the I-com
switch. "Yes?"
The I-com
replied "This is VP Andrews, please open the door" She must have had
a key, but I learned latter that the faculty always respected the student's
privacy and asked for permission, unless it was an emergency.
When I heard her
voice I must have cringed and really obviously ‘cause Tyrone, who was already
looking down on me, tucked in between his arm and his side as I was, whispered
"is she who you was runnin' from, little missy?" I nodded and he
grinned. "No worries kiddo." And with that he rolled with me over the
back of the chair and into what clearly was a semi-hidden make out area / nap
spot. And just in time too, ‘cause Jim was opening the door, and saying
"Yes Missus Andrews? Sorry if we were too loud."
"Sorry to
disturb you boys, and no, its okay. There aren't any classrooms on this hall.
No, I'm looking for a girl, she ran this way, but she's not in the gym, the
pool, or the girls’ locker room. I was hoping I could get one of you to check
the boys’ room for me, just in case."
Jim said
something that I couldn't quite hear as he was most likely facing away from me
and there was a couch in the way and Tyrone was lying on top of me, my face
tucked into his neck. He whispered into my ear "Just stay calm, Jim and
Davy won't give you up. They aren't narcs."
Missus Andrews
replied "No, Coach McMillian is out on the track and Coach Nichols is in
the pool and there's no other life guard." After a second of Jim saying
something else I couldn't hear, Missus Andrews said "Thank you, Jim."
Then there was silence for about a minute until she spoke again. In that time
though I got familiar with Tyrone's neck and chest, ‘cause I couldn't move and
was getting really stiff and he was heavy and warm on top of me. He's really…
um… hard… you know his arms and chest are really firm ‘cause he's so athletic.
He also smelled of Irish spring soap and - very faintly - pizza. Missus Andrews
said "So Davis, is it just you and Jim in here?"
Davis was
sitting just on the other side of the couch so I could hear what he said when
he said, "No Ma'am. Ty is sleeping in the back."
Missus Andrews
laughed "Sleeping? Or does he have a girl back there with him?" I
must have twitched violently at that ‘cause Tyrone held me closer to him and
whispered "Chill, chill, little lady. It's okay, we're allowed to so she's
just teasing."
Davis replied in
a mock-offended manner "Why Missus Andrews! Are you prying into a
student's private life? You naughty wicked thing, you." And they both
laughed. I just shuddered realizing that Tyrone had probably had more than one…
adventure… in this very room. I think I blushed, but for whatever reason it
began to get really warm there, underneath Tyrone. I wished Jim would hurry up
and not find me in the boy's locker room, but it seemed like he was taking
forever. For the longest time the only sound I could hear was Tyrone breathing
hotly in my ear.
Finally Jim came
back, "Sorry Ma'am no girl in the boys’ room. What did she do?"
"I don't
know. I think it was one of the sixth graders. She was skipping class in the
arboretum and just took off running when I came in. I just wanted to know what
was wrong; I hope she's okay. She looked really scared."
"Aww, you
know fish, ma'am. She probably heard from one of the older kids that you dip
kids that skip in hot chocolate and eat them whole." Everyone laughed,
even Tyrone, but he did so very quietly, right in my ear.
"Well thank
you Jim, sorry to interrupt your ‘studying’."
"Bye Missus
Andrews," Jim and Davis chorused, wildly off key and out of sync, and with
that the door closed. There was a rustling and Jim and Davis peered over the
back of the couch. "Aww man! Ty already snogged her!" Jim said in
mock disappointment and outrage.
I know I blushed
at that and started to squirm, trying to get out from under Tyrone who was now
pretending to snore and being totally limp. "He did what?!" I
squeaked.
All three
started laughing and the other two leaned down and grabbed one leg and one arm
as Tyrone rolled off of me. They hoisted me back over the back of the couch and
I landed, upside down with my legs over Jim's shoulders and my head facing the
door. "Well then Missy? Gonna take us up on our offer?" asked Davy
from somewhere off to my right.
"Huh?"
I whined, terribly disoriented and confused. I squirmed, trying to get upright
and accidentally kneed Jim in the head. He grunted and, laughing softly, began
to tickle me. I squealed and thrashed, eventually landing on the carpet and
panting. "wh… what are you guys talking about?" I finally managed to
gasp out.
"We want
you to be our mascot. You're cute, and we bet you'd look great in a cheerleader
outfit," Tyrone said, popping up from behind the couch. "We always
pick the cutest 6th grader for it, and Mandy just moved away."
Jim nodded and
took over. "Mandy was our old mascot for the first part of the year, but
if we'd seen you before we would have asked you not her. You're cuter,
and…"
Davis continued
"And you are more athletic. You can really run kiddo."
"So what do
you say?" finished Tyrone, "Will you do it?"
I was floored,
I'm sure that this was a real honor… in theory, but I wasn't a girl, well I was
but not really, I didn't go to this school, or any other for that matter, as a
girl, and I wasn't even in 6th grade. That was the answer!
"Ummm… I can't. I'm not a 6th grader, I'm an 8th
grader, like you guys."
They blinked and
Jim laughed as if I had made a joke, Davis went "Whoa!" while Tyrone
peered closer at me and tilted his head a little to the left. "No! Really!"
I protested.
They shrugged.
"Its okay, no rule that says the mascot has to be a sixer. We took a vote
and we picked you. So?"
I started to
shake my head, but they looked so disappointed that for no reason I could
figure out I nodded. They cheered and high-fived each other. "Umm….?"
I started, but cut off as they group hugged me, squeezing so tight that I was
afraid that my head would pop off and my eyes fire out of my head and into the
wall. When they let me go I gasped for air for a second and then managed to get
out "What exactly does a mascot do?"
They smiled and
told me. It turns out that a mascot is a personal cheerleader, one who bounces
and yells and cheers and gives her athletes kisses and hugs when they do well
and acts as a watch dog for their stuff and brings them drinks. They said that
it’s a really important position and that Mascots got to use the lounge and got
excused from gym class. They asked if I would mind doing all that, which I
would, but I figured that since I was never coming back to school as a girl it
really didn't matter so I just shook my head and said that was okay. They
smiled back and told me that they would arrange for my fitting for my outfit
tomorrow or Wednesday and that they would get the forms I would need to fill
out from Miss Vasquez, the cheerleader sponsor.
I said
"Don't I need to try out for a spot on the cheerleading squad?" but
they shook their heads and Jim said, "Nope, Mascots are picked by the
athletes, and only Stars like us can have’em."
"Oh
okay." I said.
"Just one
thing," said Tyrone, coming over and lifting me up and placing me on the
couch. He sat down right next to me and wrapped his arm back around me.
"Umm? Yah?"
I asked intelligently.
"What's
your name cutie-pie?"
Cutie-pie? Oh
god… he called me cutie-pie… I could just curl up and die. I blushed furiously
as I replied "E… Elayne Grace." Thank Dog I remembered the name I had
used before. If I had to have two identities I was going to need to keep them
straight.
"Hello
Elayne!" the boys chorused together, sounding even worse now that all
three were involved.
So that was
that. We spent the last five minutes of the period sitting on the couch with me
tucked right up against Tyrone with Jim and Davis smiling at me. When the bell
rang they got up, Jim handing me my bag, and Davis patted me on the butt
"See you tomorrow Elayne?" I nodded and walked toward the door,
already trying to figure out where I could hide for the last two periods, when
Tyrone swept me up into his arms and kissed me, soundly, on the lips. I was
sooooo stunned that I just hung there. But it got worse, ‘cause when he set me
down Jim kissed me and then Davis kissed me. And then they were guiding me out
of the lounge, locking the door and sauntering off as the hall filled with
students. AAAAAAAAAH!!!! They kissed ME! EEEEEEEEWWWWW! I dashed for the
locker-room, without thinking. The boy's locker room as it turned out.
To be continued in part 5 - A Chicken in the Fox House.
Elan, his family, friends, and Story are copyright 2002
Jesse Rabbit, who may be reached at Terabiel@hotmail.com. Feel free to
distribute as long as you do it for free. Anyone who wants to adapt this into any
other medium (Like a movie, hint hint) should leave me a comment with an email
addy. :P Thanks and enjoy.