Caught In The Act

Written by:  slimv
Edited by: Aine Keeagh and Sapphire

 

"Honestly Claire, I'm at my wit's end.  I don't know what I'm going to do with him!"

Claire was Michelle's best friend and life partner.

"What are you two talking about," asked Lisa, as she walked in and joined them at the kitchen table.

Lisa was Michelle's 12-year-old daughter.  She picked up her mom's cigarettes and lit one.

"We're talking about your brother.  I was just telling Claire about Jeff stealing your cigarettes."

"How do you know they were mine Mom?  We both smoke the same brand."

"I know because I'm responsible and you're not.  I always know where mine are.  You on the other hand, leave your cigarettes everywhere.  You make it so easy for him."

"Quit blaming each other," said Claire as she took a pack of Mores from her purse and lit one.  I don't want Jeff to smoke either, but we can't spend our lives policing him."

"Claire, you of all people should know how important this is.  Jeff can't smoke."

"I agree," said Claire.  "That's why we need to come up with a punishment that is sure to make him quit."

"What did you have in mind," asked Michelle?

"Simple.  We need to come up with a punishment that will humiliate a 15-year-old masculine boy like Jeff.  He needs to experience the consequences of his actions."

"I don't see why he wants to smoke anyway," said Lisa.  "You hardly ever see guys smoking unless they're faggots.  Everyone knows smoking is a girl thing."

"That's nice dear.  But you know how Claire and I feel about that kind of language.  We're lesbians remember?  Say gay or homosexual but leave the word faggot at the door.  OK sweetheart?"

"I'm sorry Mom.  I didn't mean any thing by it.  You know I love you both.  Claire is like my best friend.  Besides, it's not like the two of you were always lesbians."

"No harm done," said Claire.  "But I think Lisa might be on to something.  The next time we catch him smoking, let's introduce him to a little feminization- kind of like a preview of what he can expect if he continues to smoke."

"What do you mean," asked Michelle?

"What I mean is, the next time we catch Jeff smoking, we'll put a dress on him and parade him around.  If he wants to smoke then he can smoke like a woman.  We'll humiliate him for his own good."

Michelle clapped her hands.  "What a wonderful idea Claire.  You're a genius!"

  

*****

"Are you sure you don't want to go with us Jeff," asked his mother?  "We do have an extra ticket, and we'll just have to sell it if you don't come."

"Thanks Mom, but I don't think so.  I really don't like plays all that much.  I'd rather hang out at the house and watch TV."

"Suit your self dear," said Michelle as she bent down and kissed her son on the cheek.  The smoke from her cigarette drifted to his eyes but he didn't flinch.

"Is he going?" asked Lisa who was standing next to Claire by the door.

"No Honey.  Your brother says he'd rather stay home and watch TV than hang out with us women."

"Well lets kiss him goodnight then," said Claire.  "He'll probably be asleep by the time we get back."

Claire and Lisa walked over and took turns kissing him goodbye.  They were both smoking.  Claire had a long brown More between her fingers.  Lisa, like their mother, smoked Virginia Slims.  She looked so grown up as she took a puff from her cigarette and kissed him on the cheek.  He envied her so much that he sometimes found himself wishing he was a girl so that Claire and his mom would treat him more like an equal.  But that was pushing things a bit.  He wouldn't trade being a guy for any thing.

*****

"I feel so awful about this," said Michelle as she started the car.  It's like we're setting him up."

"We are," laughed Claire.  "But it's for his own good.  By the way Lisa, you did leave a pack of cigarettes in your bedroom where Jeff could find them, didn't you?"

"Of course," said Lisa.  I left them on my dresser.  I even took a few out so he'd think he could get away with sneaking them."

"So how long should we give him," asked Michelle?

"Twenty minutes ought to do," said Claire.  "We'll come back and say we left our tickets.  I put them in our bedroom so it's not like we'd be lying.  If he isn't smoking, we'll just get the tickets and go to the show.  If he is, then you know what we have to do."

*****

Jeff made a beeline upstairs to his sister's room as soon as saw the car pull out of the driveway.  The pack of Virginia Slims screamed at him from her dresser.  And what luck.  She even left a lighter.  He quickly lit a cigarette and filled his lungs with smoke.  Oh yes, he thought as he exhaled.  That felt wonderful.  It had been almost two days since his last cigarette and his lungs were ravenous for a smoke.

He had scarfed a good pack and should be able to smoke five or six without his sister finding out.  He certainly had enough time, as the women wouldn't be home for hours.

He grabbed Lisa's ashtray off the dresser and sat down on her bed and enjoyed his cigarette.  As he smoked, he thought about Claire.  She and his mom had been together for almost three years.  She had lived with them for the last two.  He thought she was hot for an older woman.  For that matter, she was hot for any woman.  Like his mother, she was busty and beautiful.  Unlike his mother, she was more sensual and compassionate.  Sometimes he wished Claire were his real mother.  Sometimes he wished she were his girlfriend.  Oh yeah, he'd make a straight girl out of her.  All she needed was a real man to bring her back to the light.

He lay down on the bed and wiggled out of his trousers.  He'd never masturbated in his sister's room before, but thinking of Claire had given him the urge.  Besides he still wanted to smoke and he couldn't do that in his own room.  The women would catch him for sure if he did that.

God that felt nice.  He'd never masturbated while smoking before.  It was like mixing chocolate syrup with vanilla ice cream.  The two vices complimented each other to a tee.

He sucked on the cigarette and pulled on his penis as he thought of Claire and her Double D twins.  What he wouldn't do to give them a good sucking.  It was a sick thought and he knew it.  She was 40 years old at least.  But that didn't stop his dick from getting hard when he thought of her.

Michelle parked three houses down so as not to alert Jeff of their return.  She opened the front door and the three of them walked in.

"Let's check my room," whispered Lisa.

The three women tiptoed up the stairs.  They could smell the smoke coming from Lisa's room.  Michelle shook her head in disgust.  Lisa grinned.  Claire raised her eyebrows.  They barged in together.

"Oh my God," shouted Lisa!  "Jeff is jacking off on my bed!  Make him stop Mom!"

Jeff was close to climax but didn't cross the finish line.  He dropped and released at the sound of his sister's voice.

"Oh shit," he screamed as he flailed in the bed, trying to pull his clothes back on.  The lit cigarette dropped from his lips, landing on his sister's bed.

"Get it before it burns a hole in the mattress," shouted Claire!

Jeff's head spun in confusion and terror as all three women screamed at him.  If he had a tail he would have tucked it like a dog and crawled under the bed.  He knew there would be hell to pay for his indiscretion.

*****

"God Mom, I'm sorry," whined Jeff.  "I'll never do it again.  I promise.  I'll do anything but please don't make me do this!"    

Michelle was fuming.  Any remorse she once had about setting Jeff up had flown out the window the moment she saw him spread eagle on Lisa's bed with his penis in hand.

Claire tried to defend him.  She told Michelle that while shocking, what Jeff had done was completely natural.  "All boys masturbate," she said.

"But they don't do it on my bed," countered Lisa.  She was relentless in the persecution of her brother and poured fuel on her mother's fire.  She insisted that her mother follow through on their plan to dress Jeff up and parade him around as a woman.

The final decision was Michelle's.  She didn't care that what her son had done was natural, normal or instinctual.  She had been well on her way to becoming a man hater after her divorce and the sight of Jeff pulling on his penis pushed her over the edge.

"Put them on," sneered Michelle. 

"But why Mom?  What's this got to do with anything," asked Jeff?  "I promise I won't smoke again and I won't jack off any more.  I promise!"

"You heard Mom," said Lisa.  "Quit crying and put them on.  Since you want to smoke like a woman you can look like a woman too!"

He hated taking orders from his younger sister.  But his mom had given her as much authority over him as he had given Claire.  Claire was his only hope and he pleaded with his eyes and trembling lips for her to stop the madness, but she looked away and hung her head.

Jeff dropped his pants and replaced his underwear with a pair of his mother's panties.  He slipped his arms through the shoulder straps of his mother's bra and turned around so she could fasten it.  He stood motionless as his sister filled the cups with socks.  He took the slip from his mother and shimmied into it.

"He forgot the panty hose," said Lisa."

"He can wear knee highs," said Michelle.  "Can he wear a pair of yours Claire?  I'm down to my last pair."

Claire returned with a pair of knee-highs.  By that time he had slipped into one of his mother's white blouses and was in the process of buttoning.  He took the hose from Claire and sat down on the bed as he pulled them over his legs.  He finished by stepping into one of his mother's plaid skirts.  Lisa helped him with the fastener.

"What about shoes," asked Lisa?

"His feet are too big," said his mom.  "He'll just have to wear his Birkenstocks."

"He looks stupid," said Lisa.  "He doesn't even look like a girl."

"It doesn't matter," said Michelle.  "Lets just get this over with.  Come on Jeff.  We're going to the mall."

"No Mom!  Please!  If anyone sees me like this they'll kill me.  Please Mom.  I've learned my lesson.  I won't do anything ever again.  I'll be good from now on.  I swear I will!"

Claire knew there was no stopping Michelle once she made up her mind.  She stared at Jeff.  He looked so pitiful sniveling in his mother's clothes with tears running down his cheeks.  This was her idea.  Jeff was in this situation because of her and she felt guilty about it.  She knew she couldn't change Michelle's mind but she could ease the pain of what was about to happen.

"We can't take him to the mall looking like that," she said.  "We'll be more embarrassed being with him than he'll be looking like that.  Let's at least put a wig and some make-up on him.  After all, he's supposed to smoke like a woman for his punishment and we can't take him out looking like a boy in women's clothes.  This will only take a minute.  You'll see.  It will be better.  You girls start his make-up while I find a wig."

Michelle agreed and led Jeff to her vanity as Claire whisked out of the room.

"Sit down and be still."

The situation was hopeless but he knew better than to make it worse by fighting.  His anger welled as his sister snickered.

"It's a good thing you shaved today," said his mom as she rubbed the foundation into his face.

"Can I put the eye shadow on him Mom?  Can I?  Please," asked Lisa?

"No Mom.  She'll make me look like a clown."

"I will not," said Lisa indignantly.  "I'll make you look like a slut."

"Stop it you two.  I've had enough of your bickering, and you young man, you had better sit still or you'll make me poke your eye with this pencil.  Lisa, do something useful.  Fix up a purse for your brother.  Make sure you put in a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.  He's going to need them tonight."

Jeff stayed still while his mom finished the job with a little blush and shadow.  Claire had returned with the wig as Michelle was putting on Jeff's lip stick."

"I found it," said Claire as she positioned the long blonde wig and formed it to his head.  "There!  That makes all the difference in the world."  She winked at Jeff and whispered, "No one is going to recognize you looking like this honey.  Take a look for your self."

*****

Jeff followed the girls to the car.  He got in the back seat with Claire while his sister grabbed shotgun beside their mother.  He was glad to be sitting next to Claire instead of Lisa.

"I know you're upset," said Claire.  "But we're doing this for your own good."

He knew she was right.  He needed to be punished, but this was so severe!

"Smoking is a terrible habit," said Lisa.  "I wouldn't do it if I wasn't a girl."

He hated her at the moment.  He hated that his younger sister had so much power over him just because she was a girl.  But it wasn't her fault.  It was the luck of the draw and she had been lucky enough to be born a girl.  If he was going to hate anyone, he should hate the republican government for turning the public's anti-smoking sentiment exclusively toward the male side of the population.

Jeff wasn't a historian, but he knew something about why things were the way they were.  It started with a failed Presidency.

The popularity of this president plummeted as the economy spiraled out of control.  Instead of doing something positive for the economy, he focused the people's attention on other matters.  He told them that homosexuals were at the root of the country's problems.  He led the country on a crusade to purge it self of every sin that darkened the country's door.  Prayer returned to the schools.  Constitutional amendments became routine.  Fast food restaurants became almost extinct.  The ones that did survive sold tofu burgers.  Happy Meal toys, because they were no longer manufactured, brought big bucks on Ebay.  Halloween was now a memory- a victim of the prevailing secular climate.

The tobacco companies had been high on this administration's axis of evil list but first place belonged to Green Peace, whose member now huddled in private homes and bitched about smog and rising ocean tides using sign language to elude the listening devices made legal by the new and improved Patriot Act, renamed to the harmless sounding “Right Thinking Act”.

The unlikely savior of tobacco was the president's wife.  The First Lady, who was a former smoker, started back during the election and had become unrepentant about her habit.  To make matters worse, the president's daughters started smoking as well.  It would have been a public relations disaster for the president to target an industry tied so closely to the females in his family.

The party that controlled the government pressured the pharmaceutical companies to develop a drug that would eradicate the harmful toxins found in cigarette smoke.  The companies succeeded.  However, the drug could only be administered in the form of a female hormone.  Women could smoke with impunity.  So could men, but only if they subjected themselves to the new female hormones. 

The Vice President, the brains behind the bunch, saw the new female hormone as a way to boost the nation's sagging economy.  Tobacco had always been a huge tax base for the government but the medical costs associated with its use had always eaten the profits.  The new drug practically erased the cost of medical treatment, at least for the females that smoked.  But what if the female population was encouraged to smoke and take the hormones while the male population was discouraged?  Tax revenue would soar!

The nation was assaulted with public service announcements touting the benefits of women smoking. Parents were encouraged to start their daughter's young, while administering the hormones as well.  Smoking among women was soon seen as both patriotic and incredibly sexy.  At the same time, men were strongly discouraged not to start.

 The administration did not go as far as to make smoking illegal for men, but they did inspire intense media blitzes admonishing the habit among men that continued to this day and encouraged the public to shun them.  Any male who became addicted to tobacco was required to take the new female hormone to neutralize the ill effects.  The hormone was a double-edged sword.  While it negated the harmful side effects of tobacco, the hormone it self was addictive and even increased the user's dependence on tobacco.

Before these sweeping changes went into effect, only a quarter of men and women smoked.  After implementing the new policy, half the population smoked- 100% being women.  The tobacco and pharmaceutical companies success jump-started the economy.  After this virtual hijacking of the country, their political party had been in power ever since.

Obviously there were a few men who either chose to smoke or couldn't quit after the new policies were enacted.  They were the men with breasts.  And that was what Jeff's family was trying to save him from.

*****

"This is for your own good," said Michelle as she parked the car.  "Consider it a preview of how your life will be if you don't give up smoking.  It's what you have to look forward to."

The parking lot was overflowing with cars.  The mall was crowded.  He would most certainly run into people he knew, but would they know him?  That was the big question and the one that concerned him most.  He opened his purse and pulled out his compact.

Claire put a hand on his shoulder.  "You look fine.  No one is going to recognize you.  Now put the compact away and light a cigarette.  You'll draw more attention to your self if people see a beautiful girl, such as your self, without a cigarette."

He put away the compact and removed the pack of Virginia Slims from his purse.  They felt so heavy in his hand.  The gravity he felt was the guilt.  He was so ashamed and his sister wasn't helping matters.

"We're waiting," said Lisa.  She and the other two women had already lit up.

They were standing near the "You are here" map.  Men, women and children walked past them on their way to shop and dine and just hang out.  As he held the long slim cigarette between his fingers, a man approached him.

"Excuse me Miss," said the man.  "I was wondering if I could trouble you for your lighter.  My daughter seems to have misplaced her."

Jeff looked at the man and then looked down beside him.  A girl, younger than his sister, smiled back at him with an unlit cigarette in her hand.  Jeff bent down and lit the young girl's cigarette.  She thanked him and so did her father.  He watched as they walked off, hand in hand, on their father/daughter excursion.

"Hurry up and light it Jeff," said his mom.  "We don't have all day."

Jeff put the cigarette between his lips and lit it.  Claire smiled at him.  Lisa smirked and his mom just looked disgusted.  He followed them deep into the mall.

He asked Claire where they were going.

"To the food court.  Your mom wants as many people as possible to see you like this.  I'm so sorry Jeff.  But it will be over soon."

He shuddered as they entered the food court.  The place was packed with men and women of all ages.  Needless to say, all of the women were smoking- like him.  As they stood in line at the Arby's, Jeff saw a young family sitting at a table behind him.  It was a father, a mother and their young daughter.  The mother and daughter were both smoking and had their cigarettes out on the table.  They were talking to each other.  Whenever the man tried to say something, his wife would throw him a disgusted look and Jeff knew why.  Her husband had breasts!  How embarrassing that must be for her.  She must not have known when she married him.  How could he do that to his family?  Jeff vowed to quit on the spot.  It would be difficult.  Cigarettes were so addictive now.  He'd read about that.  The government and tobacco companies weren't satisfied with just having women smoke.  They wanted them to smoke a lot.  With the government's backing, the tobacco company had made their products ten times more addictive than in the past.  But Jeff didn't care.  He was motivated.  It was one thing to be walking around with fake breasts dressed like a girl.  But it was another thing entirely to be a man with real breasts!

His mind wandered as he sat at the table, eating, smoking and talking with the women.  It dawned on him that he wasn't having a bad time.  Not that he would admit this to the women or anyone else, but he kind of liked the feel of the panties and slip against his skin.  He liked feeling pretty and was enjoying a kind of camaraderie and equality with his sister, mother and her lover.  If clothes can make the man then maybe they can make the woman as well.  He noticed something else.  He was getting a lot of attention from men.  He was both bothered and excited by this discovery.  Claire noticed this too, but kept the insight to her self.

The girls finished their meal.  Jeff was ready to go home and get out of the dress but they were not about to waste a trip to the mall by leaving early on Jeff's account.  Lisa persuaded her mother to take her shopping for shoes.  Jeff hated shoes.  Being dressed as a woman did nothing to change his aversion.  He asked if he could wait outside the store.

Michelle honored his request but ordered him to sit outside the store on a bench where she could keep an eye on him.  She told him that she had better not catch him without a cigarette, because he was here to experience what it felt like to smoke like a woman.

Jeff took a seat on the bench, reached in his purse and lit a cigarette as the people walked by him.  The women glided by without so much as noticing him but the men couldn't help but stare her way as they passed.  Sometimes they smiled at him and sometimes Jeff smiled back as he exhaled a lungful of smoke.

One young man did more than smile.  He sat down on the bench beside Jeff and said hello.  Jeff didn't recognize the boy so he assumed they went to different schools, but he was still nervous.

"Is it OK if I share your bench while my mom looks for shoes," asked the boy?

Jeff wanted to say no.  He wanted to shoo the boy off because this was a bit too creepy for his likes, but how would that look?  So instead of saying no or getting up and leaving, Jeff told him that it was fine by him.

"I'm Ben," said the boy.

Jeff opened his mouth to speak but stopped short of saying his name.  He couldn't very well tell the boy his real name.  The first female name that came to mind was Adrian.  "I'm Adrian."

"Nice to meet you," said Ben.  "I go to South high school.  Where do you go?"

Jeff went to North, but he didn't dare say so.  Atlanta was a big city but kids from one school new kids from other schools.  He him self knew two or three guys that went to South.  "I'm visiting from Pennsylvania," said Jeff.  "I don't go to school around here."

"Wow, you don't talk like you're from up north.  You have a southern accent."

"I was raised here," said Jeff.  "I guess I never lost the accent."

The explanation seemed to register with Ben and he dropped the subject.  But his interest in Adrian was still high and he continued the conversation.

While Lisa and Michelle were occupied with a shoe salesman, Claire looked out the door at Jeff and the boy he was sitting with.  Jeff looked nervous but he was obviously enjoying the boy's attention.  She could see it in his facial expressions and by the way he seemed to flirt with his cigarette. 

The idea to dress him as a girl had been hers and she had felt guilty about it, but her guilt began to fade.  They had dressed him as a girl for his own good.  They did it because they knew it would humiliate him and they were right- at least at first.  But Jeff didn't look humiliated now.  Yes, he looked nervous, but Claire could sense his excitement as he made flirtatious small talk with the boy.

Claire had seen the way Jeff had looked at the man with the breasts in the food court.  It had bothered him and it should have.  She had begun this project with the best intentions.  She had intended to help Jeff quit smoking.  But she was also a realist.  Jeff's addiction to tobacco was obvious to her.  His future was written on the wall and it was bleak unless she could change it.

"Do you want to go out some time," asked Ben?  "What's your phone number?"

"Well I'm not really going to be here that long and I don't have a pen."

"I do Honey.  Write your number on this matchbook.  We'll be here for little longer I think.  You might have time.  I don't see the harm in him calling."

Jeff looked up to see Claire handing him a pen and matchbook.  He wanted to scream at her.  What in the hell did she think she was doing?  But he took the pen and scrawled the name Adrian on the matchbook and wrote his phone number underneath.

"Thanks," said Ben.  "I'll call you tomorrow".

When he was sure Ben was out of earshot, he asked Claire why she had done that to him and if she was trying to make things worse on purpose.

Claire sat down beside him and lit a cigarette.  "No honey.  I'm trying to make things better."

Jeff was angry and he needed a cigarette.  He didn't just want one.  He needed one.  Claire watched as he lit a cigarette and exhaled a lungful of smoke in the air.

"You're addicted to them, aren't you," she asked?

"It doesn't matter.  I can quit."

"You've been smoking longer than we thought.  I can tell.  You have a very serious addiction.  You can't keep smoking like this.  Your mom won't let you and neither will the government.  You'll be committing suicide unless you go on the hormones- like that man with the wife and child we saw in the food court."

"That man was a freak!  I'd kill myself before I let that happen.  I won't take the hormones.  I'd rather die from the cancer."

"I know you would and that's the last thing any of us want to happen.  But there are other options.  What would you have thought if you had seen that man tonight but instead of seeing a man you saw a woman?"

"You mean if he had been wearing a wig and a dress like me?"

"Yes, what would you have thought?"

"I don't know," said Jeff.  "I guess I wouldn't have thought anything because I would have thought he was a girl."

"My point exactly," said Claire.

"I can't do that Claire.  I'm not gay.  I just like to smoke."

"Correction," said Claire.  "You like to smoke because you have to smoke.  You're addicted.  And you can't keep it a secret.  People are going to find out and when they do you'll be forced to take the hormones.  Like it or not, you're going to grow breasts.  I saw you talking to that boy.  I saw the way men looked at you at the food court and I saw the way you looked back at them.  You were having a good time.  Weren't you?"

"It's not like that," argued Jeff.

"Then what is it like?"

"I don't know.  It's hard to explain.  I guess I did like the attention.  People don't look at me like that when I'm a boy and I never noticed that before until I was dressed like a girl.  I guess I kind of liked it but that doesn't mean I'm gay."

"I'm not saying you're gay.  But would it really be so bad to be a woman?"

"Of course not.  You don't know what it's like being a man.  Women have it made.  They're the bosses.  They're the ones who get to wear the nice clothes and tell the men what to do.  Don't tell my mom but I kind of had a good time after I got here and got used to it."

"So you don't think I know what it's like to be a man?"

"How could you?"

Claire smiled at Jeff as she took a pull from her cigarette.  "I'm a guy Jeff.  Or at least I was.  I smoked like you when I was younger, back when it was OK for men to smoke.  I tried to quit when they came out with the new laws about the hormones.  I tried really hard but I couldn't do it.  I was like that guy in the food court.  I had a wife and a child.  My wife used to look at me the way she looked at him.  My wife divorced me.  And that's when I knew I had to make a choice.  I chose life as a woman."

Jeff was astounded.  Never in a million years would he have guessed Claire had once been a man.  "So you're not really a lesbian?"

"I don't know what I am but to tell you the truth, it doesn't matter.  As a man I had relationships exclusively with women and I enjoyed them.  As a woman I've had relationships with both men and women and have enjoyed them as well.  What I'm trying to say is that I don't consider my self-gay either.  I was very confused during my transition.  At first I didn't think I could do it- have sex with a man.  But I did do it, and I enjoyed it."

"Does my mom know," asked Jeff?  "That you were a guy once."

"She does and it's not something she's fond of talking about.  You're mother doesn't like men.  When she divorced your father she swore up and down that she would have nothing to do with men ever again.  In some ways, she took her hatred against men out on you. I'm sure you noticed it.  I know I did."

"What was it like when you were in the middle?"

"It's called trans-gendered.  It was scary but it was exciting.  It's nice having men fawn all over you and fighting to light your cigarettes."

"So why did you wind up with my mom.  Why didn't you stick with guys?"

"That's hard to say.  I don't really know.  I like your mom and I'm attracted to her but I don't think of my self as a guy when I'm with her.  I think of my self as a woman.  And when I'm with a guy, I think of my self as a woman.  You think of me as being a woman, don't you?"

"Well yeah!  Of course I do."

"I think you should go out with that boy when he calls you?  Do you want to go out with him?  Do you think he's cute?"

Jeff blushed as he heard himself say yes.

"Good," she said as she put a comforting hand on his thigh.  "I'll talk to your mom about it."

*****

As they exited the mall, Michelle and Cindy continued their attempt at humiliation by telling Jeff how sweet and sexy he looked.  They did this until Claire asked them to stop. 

The punishment was over.  His mom and Cindy thought he had learned his lesson.  So why was he lighting another cigarette in the car on the way home?

"Jeff put that cigarette out," screamed Michelle!  "Didn't you learn any thing today?"

"He can't," said Claire.  "He's addicted- like us.  He needs to smoke now."

"What are you talking about," wailed Michelle.  "Didn't this sink in?  Jeffrey!  You saw that man at the food court with the breasts.  Do you want to wind up like him?  You will you know, if you keep smoking.  I won't be able to stop them.  People will find out and they'll make you take the hormones.  Is that what you want?"

"I can't help it Mom.  I'm sorry, but Claire's right.  I'm addicted.  I can't quit."

Michelle started to weep.

Cindy, who was sitting in the back with him, punched him hard on the shoulder.  "See what you did Jeff.  You made mom cry."

"Take it easy everyone.  Your mom and I will talk about this in private when we get home."

*****

Jeff opened his eyes and saw his mother sitting on his bed holding a glass of water and smoking a cigarette.

"What's up Mom?"

"I talked to Claire last night.  She told me every thing."

Jeff groaned and sat up.  He had taken off his make-up but had slept in the wig and was wearing one of Claire's long nightgowns.

"Here," she said as she handed Jeff the glass of water and put some pills in his hand.  "I want you to take this.  You're going to need them now."

Jeff swallowed the pill and chased it with a gulp of water.  He didn't ask what she had given him.  He didn't have to.  He knew.

Michelle took the glass of water from her son and dropped her cigarette in it.  "I really should get an ashtray for your room," she said as she placed the glass on his nightstand.

She took two cigarettes from her pack, kept one for herself and gave the other to her son.  "Lisa and I always smoke when we have our mother/daughter talks."

"Is that what we're having, a mother/daughter talk," asked Jeff as he took the lighter from his mom and lit his own cigarette.

"Claire says a boy might be calling today to ask you on a date.  What's his name?"

Jeff sighed as he exhaled.  "His name is Ben.  I told him my name is Adrian."

Michelle repeated the name- Adrian.  "I like that.  It's nice.  You look like an Adrian."  She paused to take a drag from her cigarette.  "Claire told you about her former life?  The one she led before she met me?"

Jeff nodded.

"You're not the first boy to get addicted to cigarettes.  And you're not the first boy who had to face the prospect of becoming a woman."

"I know but I'm still scared."

"What are you afraid of?"

Jeff leaned back against his pillow and pushed the hair from his eyes.  "Lots of things," he said.  "I'm scared about kissing him.  I'm scared about him liking me and me maybe liking him.  I'm scared about my whole life changing, about what people will think and say when they find out.  I'm scared about you.  I'm afraid you won't love me any more."

Michelle laughed, but it wasn't a funny laugh.  It sounded more nervous than any thing else.  "Well I can ease your mind about me not loving you any more.  You don't have to worry about that.  I'm your mother Jeff.  I'm Adrian's mother too.  I'll always love you both and I want what's best for you.  If I didn't, I wouldn't have given you the pill."

Jeff inhaled the smoke from his cigarette as he listened to his mother's words of reassurance.  The smoke tasted sweet and he relished the feeling that only her acceptance could give him.

*****

Jeff had been on dates before.  He knew how boys and girls usually behaved.  But it was struggle for him to settle into the role of a girl.  He was tempted to open doors instead of walking through while Ben held them for her.  Despite what the girls told him, he found himself trying to light his own cigarettes, rather than allowing Ben to perform the service.  In some ways it was funny to see Ben's world of boys through the eyes of a girl.  He wanted only to please her, and she liked that.

"You're staring at me Ben."

"I can't help it.  You look so pretty when you smoke."

Adrian blushed as she exhaled.

She caught his subtle hint as he inched closer.  His arm rose as if he was stretching it, but rather than return it to his side, he let it rest upon her shoulders.  Oh yes, she knew what he was doing.  She'd done the same as a boy.  Ben had made his move and the next move was up to her.  She could either duck his arm or move closer.  She moved closer and laid her head on his shoulder.  She felt cozy and safe in his arms and very desirable.

She looked up and smiled as her eyes met his.  She liked what she saw.  His face grew large as his lips neared.  Her mouth opened and their lips touched.  She felt the softness of his tongue as his mouth engulfed hers.  Had a kiss ever felt this good or tasted so sweet when she was a boy?  She didn't think so.

She ended the kiss the first.  After all, she was the girl and that's what girls do.  She pulled away and lifted the cigarette to her lips.  The smoke on her tongue felt nice after the kiss. 

She smiled at him as she exhaled.  He was hers and she knew it.  But a slut she was not.  "I had a good time tonight.  Thank you for taking me out."

"Me too," said Ben.  "Do you think we could go out again before you go back to Pennsylvania?"

"I don't think I'm going to Pennsylvania," said Adrian.  "My mom said last night that she wants us to move back here.  She also said I'd probably be going to North high school, so I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other."

"Really," asked Ben excitedly!  "Are you happy about it or do you want to go back home."

Adrian smiled as she considered Ben's question.  "It's going to be different," she said.  "I think I'll miss some things but not for long.  I really like it here.  This place already feels like home."

Fin

 

since 10/03/04