A Mother's Love

By slimv and Victor G.
Edited by:  Pippa K.

 

January 2005

Part 2

*****

What's your name?  Where are you from?  How old are you?

Jimmy fielded Danny's questions as if he were a witness in a courtroom.  His friend would make a great trial lawyer someday, thought Danny.

"No, you were born in Phoenix, not Albuquerque," scolded Jimmy, as a cigarette dangled from his lower lip.  "You got to get these things right."

"He doesn't care where   I was born dude.  You're the one in trouble- not me!  I can do this.  Just relax and chill." 

The doorbell rang.  Both boys stopped their bickering.

"Okay, he's here," said Jimmy anxiously, "Go get the door and let him in."

"Hey," said Danny, "I'm supposed to be the grown-up here, remember?  My mom always makes me get the door at home.  You go get it."

Jimmy shook his head as he got up from the couch, still holding a freshly lit cigarette.  Danny was right.  He was a genius when it came to trading commodities and living on his own, but he was clueless about kid etiquette, so he yielded to Danny's experience and knowledge.

"Hey dumb ass,” scolded Danny, “Lose the cigarette."

Jimmy looked down at the smoldering stick of tobacco, made a face at Danny and dropped it in the ashtray on the coffee table without putting it out. He walked to the door and opened it.

"Hey Mr. Dinsmore," said Jimmy, looking at his watch, "Right on time.  Man you're prompt."    

"Hello, Jimmy,” Mr. Dinsmore said, ignoring Jimmy’s sarcasm, “Is your mother home?"

“Sure, come on in,” Jimmy replied, gesturing for his teacher to come inside, “She wouldn't miss this for the world.  She's been wanting to meet you for a long time.”

Mr. Dinsmore stepped inside, took off his coat and handed it to Jimmy, who put it away in the hall closet. The living room was more of a great room that expanded throughout most of the first level.  He spotted her immediately and made eye contact.

As Mr. Dinsmore crossed the room, Danny looked at him with a new appreciation. He'd never actually had a class with Mr. Dinsmore.  But he'd seen him around the halls.  As a matter of fact, his locker was down the hall from the teacher's classroom.  Danny was a boy and a straight boy at that.  He didn't make a habit out of sizing up men's looks.  But sitting there on the couch, dressed in women's clothes, he tried to imagine the teacher from a woman's perspective.

Wow, no wonder most of the girls – and their mothers – have a crush on him, Danny thought to himself.

Norman Dinsmore was a tall attractive man in his mid-forties with a full head of short, nicely styled sandy blonde hair and piercing blue eyes that made him look years younger. He exercised regularly and took exceptional care of his body and it showed beneath his tailored clothes, a navy blue Oxford shirt and charcoal gray wool slacks. Not that he was a vain man by any means, but if he had one vice, it would be his penchant for clothes that flattered his trim, athletic frame.

Danny took a deep breath and gathered himself as he thought of his mother.  How would she behave under similar circumstances?  He stood up gracefully and smoothed his skirt the way he imagined or remembered his mother doing.  He took one step forward and extended his small, manicured hand.

“How do you do, Mr. Dinsmore,” he said, his voice rising higher to his ‘Olivia’ pitch, “I’m Olivia Wilson. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Wilson,” Mr. Dinsmore replied as he took Danny’s slender hand gently in his. “And please call me Norman.”

“Only if you call me Olivia,” Danny said, a little more pleasantly than he’d intended to.

As they shook hands, Norman gave Danny a charming, roguish smile that took the boy completely by surprise. Danny had heard that Mr. Dinsmore had a way with the ladies, but he never expected to be on the receiving end of it. He swallowed hard and smiled demurely, but if it was from nervousness or from seeing Mr. Dinsmore through a woman’s eyes he wasn’t sure. He asked the teacher to have a seat and joined him on the couch, crossing his legs elegantly.

“Would you like something to drink, Norman?” he asked, noticing the way the teacher looked appreciatively at his shapely, hosiery-clad legs.

“If you’ll join me,” Norman replied smoothly, “Do you have a diet soda?”

Danny turned to Olivia's son and smiled. “Jimmy, sweetheart, will you be a dear and get us two Diet Pepsis and some glasses with ice?" 

"A can is fine, Jimmy,” Norman said, “Don’t go to any trouble on my account."

“Oh no. It’s no trouble at all. Is it, sweetheart?” Danny said, looking at Jimmy with a sly smile and a wink unnoticed by Norman.

“No trouble at all… Mom,” Jimmy grumbled as he walked to the kitchen.

Mr. Dinsmore sat back and took in the sight of his student's mother.  He hadn't expected to be meeting with such an attractive woman.  She looked almost too young to have a son as old as Jimmy, but that was the case of many of his students’ mothers.

My oh my, he thought, she is certainly easy on the eyes. 

He turned his attention to the cigarette burning in front of Danny in the ashtray; the one Jimmy had left behind on his way to answer the door. Danny smiled nervously as he saw Norman’s eyes focus on the cigarette, realizing there was no telltale lipstick stain on the filter. However, Norman didn’t seem to notice.

"I'm sorry," said Danny as he leaned forward and quickly crushed it out in the ashtray, "I usually don't smoke in front of visitors, especially non-smokers. It's rude and it makes them uncomfortable."

"What makes you think I'm a non-smoker?" asked Mr. Dinsmore.  "Is it because I'm a teacher?"

Jimmy's ears perked up at his teacher's question as he placed two Diet Pepsis and two glasses of ice on the coffee table. Danny leaned forward with a false scowl, imitating his own mother.

“Oh, use the coasters, honey,” he said, moving the glasses over to a pair of coasters nearby. He grinned at Jimmy playfully. Norman didn’t see it, as he was busy filling Olivia’s glass with soda.

“Sorry… Mom,” Jimmy said through clenched teeth. Norman looked at Jimmy oddly.

“That’s all right, dear,” Danny said, “Just be more careful next time.”

Jimmy walked back to the kitchen, muttering something unintelligible about getting even.

Danny looked at Norman and rolled his eyes. “Kids. I’m sorry, where were we?”

Norman handed Danny the glass of soda and filled his own. “I asked why you think I’m a non-smoker.”

"I don't know," said Danny nervously. "I guess it’s just that you don't look like a smoker.  You seem to be in such great shape and I remember Jimmy saying something about you being a runner."

"Well, I’ll confess that I used to smoke briefly when I was in college.  I remember it being a very difficult habit to break.  And sometimes believe it or not, I still miss it."

"Congratulations,” Danny said, wishing his own mother could find the strength break her habit, “I've been trying to give it up myself," said Danny. “I don't smoke that much, though. Usually just in social situations, around other smokers."

“Well, I wouldn’t mind if you had a cigarette. This is your home after all. I’d be the rude one to ask you not to smoke.”

“No, that’s all right. I had one just before you arrived,” Danny lied, “I’ll be fine for a while longer.”

Jimmy walked back into the room with a wicked grin. "Oh come on, Mom!" he said, "You smoke like a train. She goes through three packs a day, Mr. Dinsmore. Go ahead and have a cigarette Mom, or you'll be a nervous wreck for the rest of the night."

Danny looked at his friend in horror.  What was he trying to do?  Seeing the grin on Jimmy’s face, he knew his friend was relishing the situation he had just put him in.

"Out of the mouths of babes, eh?" quoted Mr. Dinsmore as he reached for the disposable lighter on the table.  "Please, allow me.  My father taught me that a gentleman always lights a lady's cigarette."

Danny cautiously accepted a light from Mr. Dinsmore, gently inhaling the harsh smoke. Jimmy watched Danny try to fake it, even though his friend obviously still hadn't acquired a taste for fine tobacco. He tried not to grimace and blow his cover as he exhaled a small stream of smoke into the air above his head, fighting the urge to cough violently. Jimmy, on the other hand, was fighting the urge to laugh riotously at Danny’s performance.

"Thank you, Mr. Dinsmore," said Danny as he tried his best to relax and hold the cigarette in a feminine manner, remembering what Brenda had taught him.

"My pleasure," said the teacher, "But I really would prefer it if you called me Norman."

Danny giggled awkwardly in spite of himself. Was Mr. Dinsmore flirting with him?

"You know," said Norman, "One of the reasons I wanted to meet with you is because I found a pack of cigarettes in Jimmy's backpack.  I didn't tell the principal but I thought you should know so you could do something about it."

Danny feigned surprise at the teacher's news about Jimmy.  He gasped as if the teacher had just told him his friend was an axe murderer.  "Jimmy! You’re smoking? How could you?"

Now it was Jimmy's turn to be on the hot seat.  Danny wasn't supposed to make a big deal out of him smoking.  He was just supposed to acknowledge it and give him a slap on the wrist for appearances only and then get Mr. Dinsmore out the door.

It was the wrong thing to do, but Jimmy attempted to defend him self.  "What's the big deal?  You’re a smoker, Mom.  And if it was so horrible, Norman wouldn't have lit your cigarette for you."

Hearing his student call him by his first name raised the teacher's ire.  "I asked your mother to call me Norman.  It's still Mr. Dinsmore to you, Jimmy Wilson.  The fact that your mother smokes is not relevant to your situation.  Your mother is an adult and it's perfectly acceptable for her to smoke. But you, young man, are only fifteen."

He turned to Danny with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry," he said, “I realize I’m overstepping my bounds.  But I can sympathize with how difficult it must be for a single mother to raise a teenager by her self -- especially a boy.  Young men like Jimmy need a father figure as much as they need a mother."

"You're so right," said Danny.  He was playing along but the teacher's words affected him.  He himself missed having a dad, although he never really knew him. His father died when he was just a toddler.

Mr. Dinsmore would have made a great father, he thought. He truly seemed to care about the well being of his students. After all, he could have gone to Principal Starrett about Jimmy’s smoking and gotten him suspended, but instead he went to his mother, where it would do the most good.  It was a pity his mom wasn't dating Mr. Dinsmore instead of Ted.  And at least he had a real mother at home. How was it for Jimmy growing up without a mother or a father?

Danny looked at the teacher admiringly, nodding his femininely disguised head. "You know, you really have a way with children, Norman. I admire that. I guess that's why you're a teacher.  It's a pity you never had children of your own."

"I do have a lot of children, Mrs. Wilson. I just get to send them home at the end of the day.” He sat back and looked at Olivia quizzically. “I know it’s presumptuous of me, but I can't help but feel some sort of connection with you.  Are you sure we've never met?"

"Oh, I’m quite sure," said Danny as he took a small puff from his cigarette.  "But I do prefer being called Olivia.  Mrs. Wilson sounds so old."

"Excuse me for bringing age into the equation, Olivia, but you look very young."

"I'm 39," said Danny.

"That's amazing," said Norman.  "You don't look a day over 30."

Danny feigned a blush.  Thirty, he thought to himself.  That's still old enough to buy a 12 pack of beer without getting carded.  His thoughts of cold brew were interrupted by the wail of a cell phone.

"Excuse me," said the teacher as he pulled a compact Nokia from his pocket.  "I have to take this."

Danny and Jimmy exchanged looks as the teacher talked and listened to his phone.  The plan was working.  Somehow Mr. Dinsmore was completely buying Danny's performance as Jimmy's mom.

"I'm sorry to end this meeting so abruptly," said the teacher, flipping his phone shut, "But I have to leave.  That was the police.  Apparently we've had some vandals at the school and I'm on call.  We'll have to pick this up later, if that’s all right."

“Has Jimmy done anything else?” Danny asked, confused and hoping he wouldn’t have to don Olivia’s clothes again for another meeting.

Norman smiled awkwardly. “No, that’s not what I meant.”

The teacher rose to his feet with a nervous expression glued to his face.

"What I'm about to ask you is extremely inappropriate, so forgive me.  I've never asked a student's mother for a date before and I don't even know if it’s permissible.  I'm still concerned about Jimmy and would like to continue this conversation, but I was thinking maybe we could talk over dinner.  I know this great little Italian restaurant and was thinking maybe we could go there tomorrow night if you wouldn't mind.  Of course if you do mind, the last thing I need is a harassment case slapped on me."

Danny froze in his seat.  Mr. Dinsmore was asking him out on a date, just as he had feared.  He wanted to vomit but doing so would risk discovery.  He pulled himself together and tried to appear calm yet flattered as he searched for a polite way to say no.

"That's awfully sweet of you Norman,” he said as gently as he could, “And I confess I'd love to see you again, but I think you're right about it not being appropriate for a teacher to date a student's mother.  There probably is some kind of rule about it, so as much as I'd like to go out with you I think it would be best if we didn't.  Besides, I have Jimmy to think about.  How awkward would it be for him to have his mother date his teacher?"

Mr. Dinsmore shrugged with a small disappointed smile.  He was about to agree with Danny when Jimmy spoke up.

"Oh come on Mom!  I wouldn't mind. I think it would be cool if you were dating Mr. Dinsmore."

Danny glared at his friend in disbelief. What was he doing?

"Don't look at me like that," said Jimmy.  “You're always telling me how much you work and how you never meet any decent guys.  And when you do get a date, the guy gets pissed cause you smoke so much.  Mr. Dinsmore said he couldn't care less.  Really Mom, I'm getting tired of you not having a life because of me."

Mr. Dinsmore nodded approvingly at Jimmy and then turned his attention to Danny.  "Then I guess it's not a problem.  I'll pick you up around six and we can make a night of it." 

He extended his hand. Danny shook it gently, looking at the beautiful set of long, red polished false nails on his fingers. He wondered if Mr. Dinsmore could sense his shame and hesitation. For a moment, he considered pulling his wig off, speaking in his real voice and confessing everything. But something inside him reminded him that not only would Jimmy get in trouble, maybe even expelled, but so would he for pulling such an embarrassing prank on a teacher.

"Good night, Norman. I'll see you then," he said, trying to force a smile.

*****

"What the fuck was that all about?" screamed Danny when he was sure Mr. Dinsmore was gone. He ripped the wig from his head and hurled it at Jimmy.

"Relax dude," said Jimmy, gently setting the wig aside and lighting a cigarette.  "It's just a date.  It's not like the two of you are getting married."

"Just a date?  Did you hear what you just said?  You set me up with Mr. Dinsmore, you fucking asshole!  He thinks I'm your mother.  He thinks I'm a girl.  Hell, he thinks I'm 39 years old!  I can't go out with him."

"You can, dude, and you will.  You can't back out now.  You heard the man.  He has unfinished business he needs to discuss with you about me.  If you don’t go out with him tomorrow night and talk about this, you’ll just have to get dressed up again anyway sometime in the future and finish it. You don't want me to get in trouble do you?"

"Right now, I really don't care.  I'll see you in an orphanage before I put on another dress and go out with him."

Jimmy exhaled a lung full of smoke.  "Then don't do it for me.  Do it for you."

"For me?"

"Yeah, you. If you don't care about me then do this for your self. If you don't go out with him I'll probably get in trouble and I'll take you down with me.  I'll tell everyone.  Everyone will know that you put on a dress and tried to make it with Mr. Dinsmore."

"I didn’t try to make it with him! You set me up, you little son of a bitch!"

“Yeah, and you were acting like a little bitch tonight, bossing me around and shit like you were really my mom. If it helps, you can consider this payback.”

“Payback for that?  I was just goofing.  This isn't a joke.  It's black mail.  I thought you were my friend! What the fuck’s wrong with you?"

Jimmy took a deep drag from his cigarette as he considered his friend's question.  "Yeah, you’re right. You don’t deserve to be blackmailed over all this. You did me a favor and I should be thankful. But you wouldn't understand why I did it if I told you, so don't ask.  Just do it. Please?"

"No, if there's a reason I’m going out with this guy, then you got to tell me.  Are you getting off on this?  Does seeing me in a dress turn you on?  Are you some kind of fag?"

Jimmy sighed in resignation. "OK.  I'll tell you but you gotta promise you won't laugh."

"Believe me, dude.  I'm not in a laughing mood right now."

Jimmy crushed out his cigarette and sat back against the couch as he searched the words that could explain his betrayal.  The truth of the matter was that he couldn't put a finger on why he had done what he'd done.  He'd asked his friend to dress as his mom to get him out of trouble with Mr. Dinsmore.  But tomorrow's date was his fault.  Why had he purposely created a bad situation and put his friend in the center or it?

"I miss my mom," said Jimmy evenly, "Seeing you dressed in her clothes made me think about her and I just wasn't ready to lose her again, at least not so soon."

"What?  I don't even look like your mom. You said so yourself."

"I know," said Jimmy.  "It's hard to explain.  I know you think it’s cool that I live on my own and don't have anyone to boss me around but it's not as cool as you think.  It gets lonely- really lonely. I know you don't have a dad, but at least you’ve got a mom.   I don't got no one.  I just wanted to pretend that you were like my mom. Just for a little while longer. I know that sounds stupid, but that's why I did it."

Tears welled up in Jimmy’s eyes, causing Danny's anger to subside.  It was the last thing he’d expected to hear.  He suddenly felt a great well of pity for his friend.  Jimmy hadn't done what he did to be mean or to get even for Danny’s bossiness.  He did it simply because he was lonely and he missed his mom.

Danny sat down on the couch and gripped Jimmy’s shoulder comfortingly. "It's OK dude. I'll do it," he said. He had a small flash of inspiration and picked up the wig and pulled it back onto his head. "But there are going to be some conditions, young man," he said, using his ‘Olivia’ voice.

Jimmy chuckled and wiped his eyes.  "Sure, anything. Just name it."

Danny wrinkled his pretty forehead as he thought about the conditions he would impose.  “Well, for starters, if I'm going to pretend to be your mom then you have to pretend to be my son.  That means I'm the adult and you're the kid.  So you'll have to do whatever I say for as long as I pretend to be your mom.”

"I can live with that," said Jimmy as he reached for the pack of cigarettes.

"Put those cigarettes down," commanded Danny.

"Why?"

"Because I said so, that's why.  No kid of mine is going to smoke cigarettes.  I'm doing this for your own good.  I hate it that you smoke and it’ll be worth this whole masquerade to me if it gets you to quit.  The deal's off if you can't hold up your end of the bargain. If you need me to, I’ll go to the store and buy you some nicotine gum, but you’re off the smokes as of now."

Jimmy tossed the pack down onto the coffee table. "OK, fair enough.  I'm the kid and you're the adult.  No more smokes.  But what about you?  Mr. Dinsmore thinks you're a damn chain smoker.  I told him you smoke three packs a day.  You just can't up and quit. He won't buy it."

"Maybe," said Danny as he picked up the pack of Benson & Hedges. "I'll just smoke for as long as I'm pretending to be your mother and then I'll quit when it’s over.  No big deal."

Jimmy nodded.  "Deal," he said, watching Danny fumble through lighting a cigarette.

"How do I look?" asked Danny as he raised the cigarette to his cheek the way he'd seen his mother do.

"You look like you need to practice," said Jimmy. "How about we go to the store and get some more cigarettes and a six-pack of beer?"

"OK, but you can't smoke and you can only have two beers."

"You're such an ass Mom."

*****

Jimmy cracked open a beer and laughed as Danny struggled to open his can without breaking a nail.

"Jesus, this being a woman is too much work. Checking your makeup all the time, checking your hair. Doing stuff without breaking a nail. How do they do it?" he asked, trying to open the can without using his fingertips.

Jimmy laughed and exchanged cans. “Here, let’s trade. Maybe you can learn something useful through all this. See how women feel and shit like that.”

"Then I guess there's a lot of things I’ll learn, because I don't know jack about being a woman.  It's weird, you know?  I've never thought about it until now.  I almost felt like Dinsmore was hunting me down when he asked me out."

"Men are predators, man," said Jimmy as he took a swig from his can.  "Maybe you'll think about things like that when you deal with girls from now on."

"Maybe so," said Danny as he lit a cigarette.  "God, do you really like smoking?" he asked as he inhaled a slightly larger puff.

"Kind of.  I'm not really hooked or any thing, so it shouldn’t be too hard to quit. But yeah, I guess I do like it.  I think it’s fun to smoke."

"Then it should been you doing this for me," said Danny with a sour expression, "’Cause I don't like this at all. I don't see how you and my mom do this."

"Just keep smoking," said Jimmy.  "It will get better.  You'll see."

*****

It was ten past eleven when the boys called it a night.  Tomorrow was a school day, the last before 4 weeks of Christmas vacation.  Jimmy told his friend to take his mom's room, saying it would be more real to him since his mom never stayed in his room before.  Danny agreed, said goodnight and closed the bedroom after him and surveyed the late woman's room in a new light.

In some ways he felt as if he was intruding on her sacred space.  Although he had never met her, he felt a sense of reverence for the woman he was impersonating.  He walked to the vanity and gazed at his reflection in the mirror.

His makeup was still intact, thanks to several slow, painstaking reparations throughout the night. The long auburn hair of the wig was still nicely styled, framing his lovely face. Olivia’s dress looked fantastic on him, flattering his small frame. He made a stunningly attractive adult woman, there was no denying it. If he’d wanted to, he was sure he could keep living in this disguise and no one would be the wiser. He’d just need to keep practicing his adult female mannerisms, voice and habits.

As if on cue, he shook a cigarette out of his pack and lit it in front of the mirror.  It wasn’t as bad this time. He was getting better at this smoking thing, but he wouldn't say he loved it.  In fact, he was looking forward to the day when he could ban the weed from his life.  But for the moment, it wasn't bad.  He kind of liked the sophisticated way the white, lipstick-stained cigarette looked between his slender, femininely manicured fingers.

Putting the cigarette to his mouth, he clutched it between his teeth as he went to work removing Olivia’s clothes.  He should have taken the wig off, but decided to leave it on to maintain the illusion a little longer.  He slid out of the skirt and set the clothes aside to take to the dry cleaners. The bra was next as he removed the rolled up panty hose inside the cups. He took a seat at the vanity and began removing his make up.  Every now and then he would take a puff from his cigarette and place it back in the ashtray as he worked on his face.

He couldn't help but notice how funny he looked wearing the wig without make-up as the hair lay against his exposed flat chest, but at least he was comfortable.  He took the wig off and placed it carefully on top of a Styrofoam mounting head. He then pulled off the panties he wore. He went back to the mirror and gave his naked body a once over as stupid thoughts competed for his attention.

It wouldn't hurt to look, he thought.  After all, he had the run of the room for as long as he pretended to be Jimmy's mom.  He pulled out a dresser drawer and looked over Olivia Wilson's best lingerie. 

He usually slept in his underwear at home.  Why not sleep in Mrs. Wilson's underwear tonight?  He picked out a black pair of satin panties and stepped in to them.  He quickly found a matching bra but how stupid was that?  The straps would cut into his shoulder while he slept.  He put it on anyway and filled the cups with the rolled-up pantyhose.  Why stop now, he thought.  Hey!  What's that?

Danny moved the panties aside to get a better look.  He picked up the ivory plastic device and studied large bullet shape, about seven inches long.  His finger hit the power button by accident and he almost dropped it when it began to buzz and vibrate in his hand.  He suddenly felt very warm and more than a bit squeamish, thinking what Mrs. Wilson must have used this for.  He turned it off and quickly stuck it back where he found it.

As he did, a black silk nightgown practically leaped into his hands.  It felt so smooth.  He rubbed it against his chest.  He couldn't help but pull it over his head and wiggle it over his hips.  He returned to the mirror.  Good, but not quite right he thought.  He retrieved the wig from its Styrofoam perch and placed it back on his head.  Oooh, much better he thought.  His erect penis had turned the black gown into a pup tent.  It marred the female illusion, but damn that silk felt great as it caressed his swollen penis.  He lit a cigarette.  Damn!  He looked good.  The habit itself was nasty but he couldn't argue with the results he was seeing as he started lustfully in the mirror.

He held the cigarette to his lips and tossed his hips as he took a deep drag and inhaled.  He imagined himself cooking breakfast for Jimmy in the morning.  Wouldn't Jimmy just die if he saw him dressed like this and smoking a cigarette?  "Does Mommy's little huggle bug want some scrambled eggs?" asked Danny to the mirror as he exhaled a large amount of smoke from his lungs.

Then he thought of the coming date with Mr. Dinsmore. The reflection in the mirror gave him some reassurance, however, and he wasn’t nervous. He looked at the mirror seductively.

"Hello Norman," he said in a husky, sexy voice, "Got a light?"  He quivered as he imagined Mr. Dinsmore leaning over the dinner table and lighting his cigarette.  God, he was so sick.  What was he thinking?  He crushed the cigarette out and returned the wig to Styrofoam head.  He placed the dead woman's lingerie back in the dresser and crawled into her bed.

The mattress was firm and quite nice but he couldn't get comfortable and soon resorted to sitting up with his feet dangling over the side.  It was hard to sleep with thoughts of the day assaulting him from all angles.  He had done the unthinkable.  He had masqueraded as a woman and had done much better than he ever could have imagined.  Congratulations should be in order but something wasn't right.  The experience had made him uncomfortable but it had also excited him.

His eyes were drawn to the red pack of More cigarettes sitting on Mrs. Wilson's vanity.  The mere sight of them brought back memories of Brenda, the woman who had carefully taught him how to apply his make-up.  He had listened intently to her instructions and was confident in his ability to repeat the performance on his own tomorrow.  But why had he bothered to listen at all?  It was supposed to be a one-day thing.  He wondered if deep down, this was something he had wanted to try again.

Danny got out of bed and retrieved the cigarettes and an ashtray.  He sat back down on the bed and lit a long brown cigarette as he rationalized his reasons for doing so.  Mrs. Wilson was supposed to be a committed smoker.  This is practice, he thought as the smoke filled his mouth and slipped down his throat.  I like this, he thought.  I'm really enjoying this cigarette.  It's good.  It's bad.  I'll quit after tomorrow.  And Jimmy will quit too.

He had bargained with Jimmy about dressing up and going out on the date with Mr. Dinsmore.  But he hadn't put up too much of a fight and that bothered him.  He was doing this for his friend.  Mr. Dinsmore was a big part of it.  He had to get the teacher off Jimmy's back, but the situation ran deeper than that and he knew it.  He was doing this to give his friend the illusion of having a mother for Christmas.  He was doing this for Jimmy, not himself.

He took a deep puff from the More as he analyzed his experience as a woman.  Did he like Mrs. Wilson's clothes?  He did.  There was no denying it.  They felt nice against his skin and they were so damn pretty.  Girls are so lucky, he thought as he took another deep drag from the long brown cigarette.  Guys are stuck in pants and shirts and girls get to do and wear anything they want.

He remembered the older woman he had met in the mall's smoking area.  She had talked to him as if he were an adult because she thought she was talking to an adult.  He had liked that.  He'd never experienced that kind of respect as himself.  And what about the guys that had given him the eye?  For that matter, what about Mr. Dinsmore?  No one had ever looked at him that way before.  It made him feel important.  Being an adult was fun.  And that guy at the convenience store earlier tonight, he didn't even ask to see a driver's license when he bought the beer and cigarettes!

Maybe I'm gay, he thought.  No!  No way, Jose!  I don't like guys.  I don't like Mr. Dinsmore.  I'm just going out with him to help Jimmy.  I'm not a fudge packer.  I'm a guy and I like girls.  This was true.  The idea of even kissing another guy grossed him out.  His stomach knotted up as he imagined unzipping Mr. Dinsmore pants and sucking on the teacher's ancient dick.  Gross!  He thought of Ashley Bane, the girl from his school, the one he'd seen in the smoker's area at the mall.  She looked so hot today.  His penis grew as he thought of her supple breasts and imagined the taste of her sweet pussy.  Oh yes, that would be wonderful.  He wasn't gay, no way!

His penis suddenly went limp.  Ashley Bane.  Beautiful Ashley.  The girl didn't know he existed.  A girl like her would have nothing to do with a guy like him.  He crushed out the cigarette and laid back down, content in the knowledge of his sexual orientation.  He wasn't gay, but man oh man, he was starting to get into being Mrs. Wilson.  But whatever the reason, he wasn't as bothered.  Sure it was weird, but it didn't mean anything.  He was helping his friend.  So what if he was having fun?  It was just a game, that’s all it was. Just a game.

*****

As his fellow students bustled by him in the halls on their way to third period, Danny changed books at his locker.  Jimmy was waiting beside him.  They shared each other's lockers since Danny's was on the first floor and Jimmy's was on the second.

Mr. Dinsmore was standing outside his class talking to several of his female student groupies.  Ashley Bane was one of them.  Danny watched as she twisted her hips and cocked her head as she used her eyes to flirt with the teacher.  He looked in pain as he made small talk with the girls.

He lifted his hand and waved.  For just a second, Danny had thought maybe he had waved at him, but then he saw Jimmy's hand go up beside him.  He breathed a sigh of relief.  Dinsmore didn't recognize him as Olivia.  He didn't see the connection.  Thank God.  If he had waved, then the teacher would have seen the brown leather driving gloves he had used to cover his new acrylic nails.  They looked so stupid.  Who wears gloves in school? 

Danny removed his science book from the locker and slammed it shut.  "Come on," he said to Jimmy, "Lets get a move on or we'll be late for class."

"Dude, we got plenty of time.  Don't you want to swing by Dinsmore's room and say hello?"

"I don't think so," snarled Danny.

"Why?  You're not jealous are you?  Dude!  You are!  You're jealous!  Norman and Danny sitting in a tree.  K-I-S-S-I-N-G...

"Cut the shit Jimmy, or it's all over," said Danny as he formed a fist from his gloved hand.

"Look man, I'm sorry.  I was just funning with you. I didn't mean it.  I know you're not that way.  I shouldn't have even said anything.  I really appreciate you doing this for me.  Are you nervous about tonight?"

"Wouldn't you be?" asked Danny.

"I couldn't do it, man.  What you're doing for me, it's so cool."

"Don't mention it," said Danny.  "Seriously- don't mention it, or I'll slit your throat when you're asleep."

*****

Danny hadn't felt well most of the day.  He'd been edgy and nervous and very cranky.  He wondered if he was coming down with something.  The skin on his arm felt as it were trying to walk away.  He was bothered about his date of course.  One more period to go and he'd be on his way back to Jimmy's house to make himself ready for tonight.  But it was more than nerves.  He felt as if he was starving for something, but it wasn't food.  A scary thought came to mind.  He wondered if perhaps he was feeling symptoms of addiction to tobacco.  A cigarette wouldn't taste bad right now he thought.  As a matter of fact, the more he thought about it the more he realized it was the only thing he wanted.

The clock on the wall said he had seven more minutes before 6th period started.  He picked up the pace as he headed toward the back of the school.  Everyone knew the kids that smoked hid out by the back stairs.  The teachers probably knew too, but they left the kids alone.  They only got mad if you got caught smoking in the restroom or if they saw a kid they knew that didn't smoke with cigarettes, like Jimmy or himself.

God, he was so embarrassed.  He thought he'd have more self control than to be sneaking outside during school to get a nicotine fix.  He reached for his purse as he pushed open the door.  Purse?  What purse?  Shit!  He left his cigarettes in his purse and that was back at Jimmy's house.

Oh God, he thought.  There's Ashley Bane and some other senior girl.  They looked at him as if he were some kind of narc.  He was a sophomore after all.  He had no business out here.

"Hey can I bum a cigarette?" asked Danny.  "I left mine at home."

Ashley stared at the young punk with disdain as smoke billowed from her pouty red lips.  "Get the fuck out of here pissant.  You're too young to smoke."

The girl beside her began laughing hysterically as if Ashley were a stand-up comic and had just gotten off the punchline of her career.

Danny turned around.  His face was red with shame as he walked back into the building.  His trip for nothing had cost him precious minutes.  He'd be late if he didn't run.  The book pack slammed against his back as he hurried down the hall that was quickly emptying.

His lungs began to ache as he pushed his body faster.  Could that be the cigarettes, he wondered?  Room 110, 108, 106...  He'd never make it before the bell rang.  Detention was most surely in his future.  Room 62, 60, 58...  Fat Thad!  Fuck.  Fat Thad was Thadeous Shumacher.  He stood between Danny and room 42.

"Better hurry up little faggot or you'll be late."

How nice of Fat Thad, thought Danny.  He's concerned about my well being.  The sentiment was sarcastic.  Danny hated Fat Thad.  He was just about to pass the bully when the bell went off.  He looked up at the clock.  If he had been looking down, he would have seen Thad's size 12 purposely blocking his way.  How surreal, he thought, as the floor tile rose to meet his gloved palms.

The sound of Thad's laughter mixed with the ringing of the bell as he and his backpack slid across the floor.

*****

Mr. Dinsmore wished his students a happy holiday as they jokingly told him they'd see him next year.  He was packing up his briefcase when Fred Garvin stuck his nose in the door.  Fred taught English next door and sometimes on Friday they'd get together for happy hour on the way home.

"We still on for beers tonight, Norm?"

"Hey Fred.  No, not tonight.  Something came up."

"Got a hot date, then?"

"You might say that."

"I hope to God it's not that Bane girl.  That chick is in heat but she's jail bait."

"No Fred.  It's not Ashley.  I know better than that. I'm red blooded but not that red blooded. I'm going out with one of my student's mothers.  She's Jimmy Wilson's mom."

"Don’t think I know her. Is she cute?  Dumb question," said Fred.  "I've never known you to go out with anything less than a perfect babe.  It's about time you started dating someone your own age.  You are getting a little long in the tooth.  People are beginning to wonder about you."

Norm ignored his friend's tease about single men being gay.  He'd heard that since turning 30.  Besides, Fred was just joking. If anyone knew he was heterosexual, it was his pal Fred.

"Actually," said Norman.  "If you must know, she is gorgeous. But there’s something about this woman that has me thinking a million different things at once, like I can’t focus when I think about her.”

“Uh oh. That’s not good.”

Norman smiled. “I like her, Fred.  I don't know what it is, but I feel this connection with her.  It's as if we're meant to be together."

"Sure," said Fred.  "Destiny and love at first sight – maybe for some guys but not dogs like you. You’ll do what you usually do. Fuck her brains out and move on to the next one."

“No, not this time,” replied Norman, starting to sound agitated, “It’s not like that at all. I don’t know what it is but I really like this woman. I want this one to work out. She’s completely different from any woman I’ve ever met.”

Fred just nodded, wondering what kind of a woman could have spun Norman Dinsmore’s head around so completely.

To Be Continued...

Author's note:
This is a fairly long story.  As of now, it is over 140 pages and still growing.  Vic and I will finish it because the story is a labor of love.  However, that doesn't mean all the parts will be posted.  If you care enough to leave a comment, I'll care enough to post the additional parts.
As a reminder, my TG stories only appear on Sapphire's Place, so if Sapphire's goes off line, my stories go with it.  Please contribute to the website if you can.

 

since 12/31/04