A Mother's Love
By slimv and Victor G.
Edited by: Pippa K.
January 2005
Part 4
*****
The first day of Christmas break – Saturday – streamed though the crack in Jimmy's window curtain, waking him from a restless sleep. The clock beside his bed said it was after nine. He felt as if he'd over slept. He rubbed his eyes and inhaled the scent of bacon. Danny must be making breakfast, he thought as he swung his legs over the bed and crossed the floor to his door. He had been tough on his friend the night before and he hoped all would be forgiven and forgotten as he slipped into his terry cloth bathrobe and made his way downstairs.
He turned the corner stopping shy of the kitchen. His jaw dropped. His heart stopped. His mouth bled dry. There in the kitchen stood his mother's ghost, hovering over the stove wearing her favorite nightgown. A cigarette hung low to her side in her left hand as she flipped the sizzling bacon. It was just the shock of seeing her or him. He knew it was Danny but felt otherwise. Memories fought reality as he struggled with the site of his best friend dressed in his mother's gown, wearing her wig. He shook his head.
With his back still to Jimmy, Danny placed the cigarette between his painted lips and shoveled the bacon onto a plate, using a napkin to soak up the grease. He turned to set it on the table when he saw Jimmy standing in the doorway.
“Good morning, sleepy head,” said Danny in his feminine voice with the cigarette clenched between his teeth, “I hope you slept well.”
“What are you doing?” asked Jimmy.
“I’m making you breakfast, silly. What does it look like? Hope you still like your eggs scrambled.”
“Yeah, sure,” said Jimmy as he pulled out a chair and sat down, looking at Danny quizzically. He picked up a piece of bacon and nibbled at it as he watched his friend go about scrambling the eggs in a skillet.
“So,” he began hesitantly, “What's up with the wig and nightgown? And you're wearing makeup. It's not like you have to see Dinsmore for at least a week."
“Well,” began Danny, still using his feminine voice, “I thought we agreed I’d act like your mother for the next couple days, so I thought I might as well keep practicing. You know, so I can do it right.” Danny took a drag from his cigarette and exhaled through his nose as he divided the eggs evenly on to two plates and set them on the table.
“Besides, it's what you wanted, isn't it?” he continued as he sat down next to Jimmy, “You wanted a mother, at least for a little. You haven't changed your mind. Have you?”
“I don't know. I guess not,” said Jimmy as he stabbed a piece of egg with his fork. “I guess it just freaked me out when I saw you like that at the stove." He pushed his hair back and rubbed his eyes. "God, you really freaked me out for a second. I really..." He stopped short of finishing as he filled his mouth with eggs. "You know what I mean. Don't make me say it."
Danny took a last drag on his cigarette and extinguished it in the ashtray, exhaling into the air above them. “Then I’ll take that as a compliment. You wanted the full effect, you know.”
Jimmy smirked at his own words used against him. “Yeah I know what I said. But it still takes some getting used to.”
“Okay, I can understand that,” said Danny in his own voice, “But don’t forget. You're the reason I'm doing this in the first place.”
“Yeah right," said Jimmy. "And don't tell me you weren't into it last night. I saw you. You were into it, dude. And what about Dinsmore? I can't believe you're going out with him again!"
Danny took a delicate bite of eggs, mimicking the way his mother would eat. He thought about his words for a moment before replying. “I’m just having a little fun, that’s all. I wish I could explain it better, but it’s really cool being treated like a grown up. Like last night, everybody was so nice and respectful. I liked being treated like that.”
Jimmy looked away awkwardly. “Yeah, about last night... I'm sorry about that. I guess I just got a little freaked out thinking that Dinsmore might find out who you really are. And I know you’re doing me a favor by acting like my mom, so I guess shouldn’t bitch about it. I'm sorry about yelling at you. Just don’t get us busted, okay?”
Danny smiled sweetly at his friend. “Don’t worry, man. I won’t. It's like I said last night, I won’t let it go too far. And as far as last night is concerned…”
Danny cleared his throat, leaned in and patted Jimmy’s arm gently. When he spoke it was his adult female voice. “We were both just a little upset, that’s all. There’s nothing to forgive, sweetheart.”
Jimmy flinched involuntarily.
“What’s the matter, dear?” Danny asked, still using his ‘Olivia’ voice.
Jimmy shook his head. “Nothing. Forget about it. It’s just still a little weird hearing you call me ‘sweetheart’.”
Danny took another bite of eggs. “And what's so weird about that, honey? Most mothers call their children sweetheart and names like that.” He smiled smugly at his friend.
Jimmy soaked up Danny’s adult, feminine appearance. The shoulder-length, chestnut-colored wig, the elaborate makeup and the long painted nails went a long way toward fucking with his head. He sighed as he stared at the satiny nightgown covering the fake curves. His friend really could pass for someone’s mother.
He took a deep breath to gain his composure and followed it with a smile. “Well, Danny boy,” said Jimmy, “With the way you’re dressed, any one would think you were my mother." He paused and looked down at his robe-covered thigh. "Even me."
Danny grinned. “Then maybe you should call me ‘Mom’, don’t you think?”
Jimmy chuckled. “Okay, I’ll try to remember that, Mom!”
They laughed and went back to eating, enjoying their first breakfast together as faux mother and son.
*****
Later that day, Jimmy was sprawled on the living room floor enjoying a game on the PlayStation. He hadn’t seen Danny in a couple of hours, but was so engrossed in his game that he hadn’t bothered to look for him. Just as he was about to get up and look for him, Danny walked in. He was wearing one of Olivia’s old checkered blouses and a worn pair of blue jeans and her sneakers. Blue latex rubber gloves covered his hands. He’d removed the wig, and in its place he wore a red and white bandana tied over his head to keep any cleaning materials out of his wig and to cover his boyish haircut. It looked rather feminine and with his full face of makeup, he looked like a normal woman doing household chores.
“Where have you been?” asked Jimmy.
“Cleaning the kitchen,” said Danny. “Man, this house is a pigsty. You should take better care of the place. I’m just glad Norman didn’t see the rest of the house.”
He plopped down on the couch and peeled off the rubber gloves, tossing them aside. He lit a cigarette and pressed his back into the couch.
“Want a turn?” Jimmy asked, offering the game controller.
“No thanks,” Danny replied, gesturing toward his cigarette. “I’m just taking a break. I’ve got way too much to do still. I need to clean the bathrooms, mop the floors and wash a ton of clothes.”
“Since when are you so into housework? Go ahead and take a break! Have some fun!”
Danny sighed in resignation. “Jimmy, I’m serious. You really need to take better care of the house. Do you have any idea how long it took me just to clean out the microwave?”
“Well, at least the regular oven’s clean,” joked Jimmy.
“That’s because you never use it! Would your mother let the house get this dirty if she were here?”
“No,” said Jimmy sullenly.
“Then I won’t either. And wouldn’t you help her if she were here?”
“Yeah, I guess so," said Jimmy rather sheepishly.
“Then why don’t you help me? You can start by cleaning your room. Go strip off your bed sheets so I can wash them. If I know you, they’re probably filthy.”
Jimmy frowned. “But I’m playing a game! Come on, Danny! Cut me some slack.”
“What did you call me?” asked Danny with a level gaze as he exhaled a cone of smoke into the air.
“All right, fine, ‘Mom’!” said Jimmy, sounding very irritated.
“That’s a little better, but you might want to watch your tone with me. You can play your game later.”
“But-”
“No ‘buts’, young man! I’m just asking you to clean one little room while I clean the rest of the house. It’s not a lot to ask. Now go!”
Jimmy tossed the controller aside dejectedly and stomped up the stairs. Danny watched him with a slight sense of guilt. He hadn’t meant to scold him, but he had to do something to get Jimmy to help out. Is this what his own mother went through with him?
“Wow, I hope I don’t do that to my mom,” Danny said, taking a drag off his cigarette.
He looked at the game controller on the floor, then at the lipstick-stained cigarette burning between his fingers. Just a few days ago, he’d be playing a game and complaining about his mother’s smoking. Sensing the irony, he got up, turned the PlayStation off and changed the TV over to the Food Network. He wasn’t sure why, he just thought maybe he could learn something useful. If he were going to pretend to be Jimmy’s mother for the next few days, he might as well try to cook something that wouldn't kill them both.
He sat back on the couch and took a deep, satisfying drag from his cigarette. He attentively watched the show, taking mental notes on how to make a delicious lemon rosemary roasted chicken.
*****
Late the next morning, Danny was folding laundry when the phone rang. With his cigarette clutched between his teeth, he asked Jimmy to be a dear and get it. Jimmy appeared with the cordless phone, his hand covering the receiver. He looked concerned.
“Mom, it's your mother!” he whispered.
“Okay, then, let me have it,” Danny replied calmly, wondering what Jimmy was so worried about. His mother was in Colorado. She couldn’t possibly see him dressed like this.
He finished folding a pair of Jimmy's underwear, set his cigarette aside in an ashtray and took the phone. He pulled off one of his clip-on earrings, then smiled reassuringly at Jimmy and began talking to his mother.
Jimmy watched as his friend reappeared, at least from a vocal perspective. Danny was dressed in his mother's jeans and a UGA sweatshirt over his padded chest. He was wearing the wig and makeup and just a little casual jewelry. All this added to Jimmy's confusion as Danny talked to his mother.
Out of respect for his friend, Jimmy tried not to eavesdrop on the conversation, so he turned on the PlayStation and immersed himself in a game. Although he couldn't hear the conversation word for word, he imagined they were making small talk about nothing. He was sure Ms. Brown wanted to know how her son was getting along. He listened as Danny asked about the snow and if she had fallen on her skis. Satisfied that all was well with her son, Ms. Brown said goodbye.
But before she got off the phone, she asked to talk to Mrs. Wilson. Danny froze for a moment, wondering if he should tell his mother that Olivia wasn’t home. It was Sunday morning, where could 'she' be?
Church? No. That wouldn't work. If Olivia had gone to church, she would have taken Jimmy with her and he had already answered the phone.
Maybe she could have gone to the grocery store. Yeah, that could work.
Just as he was about to lie to his mother, he saw the lipstick-stained cigarette burning in the ashtray. It was his cigarette. It was Olivia’s cigarette. He smiled confidently.
“Sure, Mom, one sec. I'll go find Mrs. Wilson. She's just watering some plants.”
He set the receiver down, picked up the cigarette from the ashtray and took a long drag. He exhaled then raised the receiver back to his mouth.
“Hello, Carol? This is Olivia Wilson,” Danny said pleasantly in his female voice, “…Yes, it’s nice to finally meet you, too… Oh, it’s no trouble at all. Danny’s a wonderful young man, we love having him here!”
Hearing the ‘Olivia’ voice, Jimmy stopped playing the game and looked at Danny with a sense of panic. What was he doing? Surely his mother would figure out that she was talking to her own son. But as the minutes ticked by and Danny chatted and casually lit another cigarette, Jimmy realized they weren’t going to get caught. Carol was fooled, too, at least by Danny’s voice and female inflections.
“…Well, it was nice talking to you, too, Carol,” Danny said as the conversation neared its end, “…Yes, maybe we can get together for lunch sometime when you get back. Have a wonderful time in Colorado! …You’re very welcome, we’ll take good care of him. Goodbye!”
Danny hung up the phone. Jimmy seemed ready to explode.
“Are you nuts? Why’d you say that about having lunch with her? You want to your mom to see you dressed like this?”
“No, of course not,” said Danny, “But I had to say something to be nice. I didn’t want to be rude to her. She’s still my mom.”
He handed the phone to Jimmy to put back on the charger. He crushed out his cigarette in the ashtray and lit another.
“Man, you sure are smoking a lot,” said Jimmy.
“Yeah, I know. But fooling my mom into thinking I’m your mom is kind of stressful, and this helps me relax,” said Danny, exhaling.
He walked over to the couch, picked up another pair of Jimmy's shorts and began folding them. “Did you put the rest of your dirty clothes in he laundry room like I asked you to?”
“No, not yet. I wanted to watch the Falcons game. It’s about to come on.”
“All right. Just don’t forget. I want to finish the laundry by tonight.”
Danny put the cigarette to his lips, picked up the basket of clothes and started to walk away.
“Where are you going?” Jimmy asked, “The game’s about to start.”
Danny turned. “I’m going to finish folding these clothes in the bedroom. There’s a movie on Lifetime I want to watch, and I figured I’d just let you have the big TV for the game.”
Jimmy looked at him in shock. “Wait – Lifetime? You mean the chick network?”
“Yes,” Danny replied, rolling his eyes.
“But you’re gonna miss your main man Mike Vick! He’s your favorite player!”
Danny thought about it for a moment and shrugged.
“You can tell me how it goes later. Have fun, okay? Let me know if you need anything.”
Danny smiled and walked to Olivia’s bedroom, leaving a faint trail of cigarette smoke in his wake. Stunned, Jimmy flipped the TV over to the game. In the two years they’d been friends, they’d never missed a Falcons game together. He silently wondered what else Danny would be willing to give up for his masquerade.
*****
Carol hung up the phone and nervously lit a cigarette.
Ted, her boyfriend, stood sternly with his hands on his hips. “You didn't tell him. I thought we agreed. You're still going through with this, aren't you?”
Carol sighed in frustration. “Yes, Ted, I'm going through with it. I'm going to destroy my son's life so we can uproot from Georgia and be one big happy family in Colorado.”
“There’s no need for sarcasm, Carol. Look, I'm not twisting your arm. I love you but I'm not holding a gun to your head.”
“I know, I know. And I'm sorry, Ted. I didn't mean anything by it,” said Carol as she took a deep, calming drag from her cigarette. “It's just that this is very stressful. Don't you think it would be better if I told him in person when we get back?”
Ted thought about it and nodded. “You're right, honey. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be putting so much pressure on you. It's just that I think you'll change your mind about coming with me if you don't tell Danny now.”
Carol walked over and kissed Ted gently on the lips. “I love you, Ted. This is going to happen for us. Just let me tell him in my own way and in my own time.”
“So is he doing okay at his friend's house?”
“He sounds like he’s really enjoying himself. And Olivia seems so sweet. I like her. She doesn’t seem to mind looking after Danny at all…”
Carol trailed off for a moment as a thought crossed her mind. Then she shook her head, realizing she couldn’t possibly impose on her new friend Olivia that way.
*****
“Jimmy, why didn’t you take out the trash like I asked you to an hour ago?” Danny scolded in his female voice, his arms folded across his chest.
“I’ll do it in a minute. I’m watching ‘The Matrix’,” Jimmy said from his immobile position on the couch, the DVD remote in his hand.
Danny walked over to the TV and turned it off. He glared at Jimmy.
“I said get up and take out the trash, young man,” he threatened.
Jimmy threw his friend an irritated look. “Dude, what crawled up your ass? I said I'd do it in a minute! Why are you acting like some cranky old bitch?”
Danny’s mouth tightened in anger and he stepped closer to the couch. The last thing Jimmy saw before feeling the hot sting on his cheek was Danny's palm as it flew through the air like a missile.
“I'll have none of that foul language in this house, do you understand?” Danny yelled, “And from now on you will call me either Mom, Mommy or Mother. If I’m doing all of this for you, you will respect me as your mother. Is that clear?”
Jimmy rubbed his cheek in disbelief and glared back at Danny. He jumped up from the couch and locked eyes. “Fuck you, Danny!” he screamed, “You might act like it, but you’re NOT my mother!”
Danny had to clench his fists to keep from slapping Jimmy again. “Look at me!” he roared back in his own voice, “Look at everything I’ve done for you, you ungrateful little bastard! I’ve shaved my whole body! I had Brenda pluck my eyebrows down to almost nothing, do you know how much that hurt?” He pointed a long-nailed finger at his painted face. “I’m wearing a shit load of makeup to look like a grown-up woman! I’m wearing your mother’s clothes! I’ve even started smoking because of you, for God’s sake! Doesn’t any of this mean anything to you?”
Tears forming in his eyes, Danny dropped down onto the couch with his head in his hands and started sobbing. Whether he meant to or not, he sounded exactly like a woman.
Jimmy studied his friend in stunned silence. “Hey, don’t cry. Come on, Dan–”
He stopped short of calling his friend by name and sat down next to him. He rubbed his friend’s back, smiling gently. “Come on, Mom. I’m sorry.”
Danny leaned forward and picked up the pack of cigarettes from the coffee table. He lit one and then sat back. “Jesus, I'm sorry. I don’t know why I acted like that. I don't know what got into me just then. I just wanted a little help around the house, and I guess I just snapped.”
“It’s okay. It’s been a weird couple of days for us. And I know you’re doing a whole lot around here, cooking and cleaning and stuff. I should be helping you out more instead of screwing around. Sorry I yelled at you. I guess quitting smoking for me is harder than I thought. I guess I’d better stay away from you when you quit.”
Danny smiled remorsefully at his friend. “I’ll get you some more nicotine gum next time I’m at the store, maybe that’ll help. And I’m so sorry I slapped you. I never should have done that.” He set the cigarette in the ashtray, removed his earrings and carefully removed his wig. “I know you want your mom back for a while, but I don’t know if I can do this anymore. It’s too hard being a woman and a mom. Maybe I should just take all this stuff off and go home.”
Before Jimmy could protest and ask him to stay, the phone rang. He answered it and offered the phone to Danny.
“It’s Mr. Dinsmore. Do you want to talk to him?”
Danny’s eyes brightened. “Yes!” he said excitedly, snatching the phone from Jimmy’s hand. He grinned as he lifted the phone to his mouth.
“Hello, Norman?” he said in his Olivia voice, “I'm so glad you called.”
“Hi Olivia,” Norman replied, “I was afraid if I called earlier you'd think I was pushing it and I didn't want to scare you off."
Danny giggled girlishly. “Oh, Norman. We’re not teenagers anymore. I wasn’t counting. But if you’d waited until Tuesday without calling, then I might have been upset.”
Norman chuckled. “Well, as long as I’m still in your good graces. Are we still on for Saturday?”
Danny looked at the wig lying next to him on the couch and at the cigarette burning in the ashtray. If he was going to reconsider, now was the time. He could just walk away from it all, go back to being Danny Brown the teenaged boy. He could have his old life back. No more wig, dresses and makeup. No more smoking. No more cooking and cleaning. No more trying to fake being twenty-five years older to strangers.
But that would also mean no more being treated with an adult’s respect. It would mean no more soft, pretty clothes. It would mean no more using makeup to become a beautiful woman. Who would take care of Jimmy? What about Norman? What about...
“Yes, of course we’re still on, silly,” Danny said, flirting with the teacher, “I’m looking forward to it!”
“Great!” Norman replied, “So how has your week been?”
Danny smiled and looked at Jimmy. “Well, just dealing with some standard teenage rebellion. I’m sure you see it everyday at school.”
“Would you like me to talk to Jimmy for you?" Norman asked, sounding concerned.
“Oh no, it’s nothing I can’t handle. It’s all part of being a mother.”
Danny and Norman chatted for an hour, flirting and making small talk. Once again, Danny was able to divert the conversation back to Norman’s personal life and not reveal too much about ‘Olivia’, yet still make ‘her’ interesting.
When Danny finally hung up the phone with a wide smile, Jimmy walked into the room. He noticed Danny was wearing the wig again.
“So you’re still seeing him this weekend?” he asked hesitantly, hoping the answer was ‘yes’ and that ‘Olivia’ would be around for at least a few more days. He silently promised to help around the house more and be a better ‘son’.
“No, we’re seeing him this weekend,” said Danny as he gracefully lit a cigarette. “And you’re coming along, remember? Pizza and bowling, just the three of us.”
“Okay, sounds fun,” Jimmy said. He snapped his fingers as he suddenly remembered something and walked briskly toward the kitchen.
“What are you doing?” asked Danny.
“Just taking out the trash… Mom.”
*****
Norman Dinsmore grinned in anticipation as he stood in front of his bedroom mirror getting ready for his date. It was finally Saturday evening and he was seeing Olivia Wilson again. It made him smile warmly. He tucked the tail of his blue cotton oxford into his khakis and checked his appearance. He wondered what Olivia might be wearing tonight. Even for something as casual as bowling, he knew she’d look stunning. His penis grew hard as he thought about her. He’d dated a lot of women in his forty-five years, but no woman had affected him as immediately as her. It was insane. She wasn't his type. Sure she was beautiful, but she was divorced and a smoker and had a kid to boot.
None of that matters, he thought as he picked up his wallet and car keys from the dresser. He was totally smitten and he knew it.
*****
“I want you to please be on your best behavior tonight,” said Danny as he stroked his lashes with a mascara brush, freshening up his makeup before Norman arrived. “And please don't say anything that will embarrass me.”
Jimmy smirked. “Don’t worry, Danny. If Mr. Dinsmore finds out who you really are, we’ll both be a lot more than embarrassed.”
Danny turned to his friend with a serious expression. “What did you just call me? After all week long of getting it right?”
“Sorry. I meant to say ‘Mom’, it just slipped.”
“Well it better not slip again, young man, especially not tonight. That’s what will get us caught if we’re not careful.”
Danny set down the mascara brush and looked over his makeup in the mirror. He put on enough to appear considerably older, but not so much that he looked trampy. It was a difficult getting the look just right, but he’d spent the past week in practice, applying and reapplying his makeup. He’d done a great job with his eyes, as they were the cornerstone of his illusion. He had planned on letting his eyebrows grow back by the time his mother returned, but he plucked them anyway to maintain their thin, feminine illusion. Dark eyeliner, a thick coating of black mascara and two shades of smoky gray eye shadow heightened that illusion. He’d used red lip liner and lipstick to give himself fuller, sexier lips. Combined with a generous amount of foundation, blush and powder over his fair, adolescent complexion, he truly did look like an adult woman.
Satisfied with his makeup, he turned his attention to his outfit, a purple V-neck knit sweater and a knee-length denim skirt. With a pair of ankle socks and Olivia’s Nike sneakers, it was a perfect outfit for a relaxed night out of pizza and bowling. He adjusted his bust, making sure everything fit in all the right places. He slipped on some gold clip-on earrings and a small bracelet. He slung a black leather handbag over his shoulder and critiqued his appearance.
He turned to Jimmy. “So, how do I look?”
“You look great,” Jimmy said with a nod of approval, “Kind of casual but classy.” His expression turned serious. “Are you sure you want to go through with this, though? I mean, you’ve done a great job of acting like a mom for me this past week and I really do appreciate it. The house is spotless and some of the food you cooked was awesome. Like that lemon-rosemary chicken, you’ll have to cook that again for me sometime.”
“Thanks, but they were all just recipes off the TV,” Danny replied modestly. He turned to see Jimmy’s concerned look and walked over. He sat next to Jimmy on the bed and crossed his shaved legs. He wrapped an arm around his friend comfortingly. “What’s the matter, honey? Is something bothering you?”
Jimmy shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s this second date with Mr. Dinsmore. Are you sure it’s such a good idea? You can still back out, you know.”
Danny sighed and pulled a cigarette from his purse. He lit up and inhaled a deep puff of smoke. The expression on his face was thoughtful as he exhaled.
“The truth is,” said Danny in his normal voice, “That I don't know why I want to keep doing this. Deep down I just know I really like it.”
“But you kissed him before. Are you saying you liked that too?”
Danny carefully considered his reply. “You're going to think this is gross, ‘cause I think its gross, but yeah, I kind of liked kissing him. I didn’t plan it. I don't know. It just sort of happened. And it wasn't that bad. But it's not just that. I know it sounds weird but I kind of like Mr. Dinsmore. You'd like him too if you got to know him like I did.”
“I don't think I want to get that close to him. I still like girls. Remember?”
“Yeah, well so do I. But it's not like that.”
“What do you mean it’s not like that? You kissed him, didn't you? And you’re going out with him again!”
“Well yeah, OK, but still...I like him as a person, but I'm also seeing him the way a girl would see him, so I guess that's why it’s so different.”
Jimmy’s brow furrowed. “Aren’t you worried about getting busted?”
Danny took a deep drag of smoke from his cigarette as he considered his friend's question. Then he smiled gently and exhaled into the air above them, waving the smoke away from Jimmy's face.
“Is that what’s bothering you? Believe it or not, when I’m dressed like this, I actually don’t worry about it. Everything just kind of comes naturally. I just think about what my mom or other grown-up women I know would do, and I act like that. Nobody seems to question it.”
“But people think you're really a woman! Doesn't that bother you?”
“It did at first,” said Danny, “But not any more. For the first time in my life, people actually see me. They think I'm pretty. I know we're talking about guys...but still! No one ever looked at me like this when I was a kid like you. It feels good and I want it to last as long as it can. I'm not ready to go back to being just some stupid looking boy that no one cares about.”
“At least you didn't have to wear a dress when you were a boy, or put on make-up and perfume and junk like that.”
“It's not so bad once you get used to it. Do you want to try it?”
“Get the fuck out of here! I'm not a faggot!”
Danny knew they were talking as friends, so he didn’t go into his ‘Mom’ mode. He let the comment slide. “I'm not either. See, this is why I didn't want to tell you. I knew you wouldn't understand. It doesn't make sense to me either, so it’s hard to explain. Just let me enjoy this time being a woman, okay?”
“So are you thinking you want to be a woman forever?”
“No, I'm not saying that. But I’d like to keep being one until my mom gets back on Christmas Day. That’ll give me another two weeks.”
Jimmy nodded. “Okay. Sure. Whatever makes you happy. It's just going to suck not having a mom anymore when you go back to being yourself. And the longer we do this, the harder it's going to be for me to give it up. It's going to be like losing my mom all over again.”
“Yeah, I see what you mean,” said Danny sincerely, feeling a little guilty. “But it's been good for you, too. Since I started being your mom, the house doesn't look like a pigsty anymore and you haven't smoked a single cigarette. I’m so proud of you.”
Jimmy frowned. “Thanks, but I don’t feel very good about it. I might have quit, but then I got you hooked on cigarettes. You always hated smoking so much and now look at you. You're smoking as much as a grown-up! Doesn't that bother you? I wasn't smoking nearly that much when I quit but it’s still really hard. I can't imagine how hard it would be if I smoked as much as you do.”
Danny took a slow drag on his cigarette and exhaled. “I guess I’ll have to get some of that nicotine gum for myself when my mom gets back. But for right now I really like it. I can see why you did it now, and I guess I can see why my mom doesn't just quit. It feels so good. It's like a big warm hug when I inhale. And I feel sexy and grown-up when I smoke.”
“Well that’s just great!” Jimmy said sarcastically, “Do you think when this is all over and you go back to being yourself, that you're mom is going to say, ‘Hey look at Danny. He looks so sexy and grown-up when he smokes.’”
“No. Of course not,” Danny said glumly.
“Damn right she's not going to say that! You're 15 years old, Danny. Your mom is going to kick your ass if she finds out.”
Danny frowned and took a drag off his cigarette. “I don't want to think about that right now.”
“Fine. Don't think about it, but it's not going away. Your mom’s coming back in two weeks and you’re going to have to deal with all this.”
Danny hung his head in shame.
It was Jimmy's turn to feel bad. None of this would have happened if he hadn't put his friend up to it. He had just been trying to help his friend see the truth and sometimes the truth hurt, but he hadn't expected to feel the hurt himself. He thought of his mom and how bad he felt when he had made her feel bad.
“I'm sorry,” said Jimmy. “I know you’re just having fun and now I’m spoiling it. Let's just forget what I said and try to start over. I'll go first. You look real pretty tonight, Mom. We’ll have a great time with Mr. Dinsmore.”
Danny looked up at his friend and smiled as he dabbed at the tears in his eyes with a tissue, careful with his makeup. “Do you really think so? Do you think I look pretty?”
For the first time since the masquerade began, Jimmy saw how truly beautiful his friend was, both inside and outside. He saw what Mr. Dinsmore saw in him. “Yeah, I really I do,” he said. “It's a good thing my real mom isn't alive to see this because she'd be so jealous of you.”
Danny laughed and hugged Jimmy tightly. “I love your mom, Jimmy. I love being her for you.”
*****
Later that evening at the pizza parlor, everyone was having a great time. The food was excellent and the mood was relaxed and pleasant. Danny was concerned that Norman and Jimmy might have trouble getting along, given their initial antagonistic student-teacher relationship. But once they saw ESPN on a television at the restaurant, they discovered a mutual love of sports, especially the NFL. It even led to one of the more entertaining conversations of the evening, one Jimmy was especially passionate about.
“No offense Mr. Dinsmore, but are you crazy? Vick’s the man!” Jimmy said incredulously as he took a huge bite of pizza. He glanced at Danny. “Tell him Mom!”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Whom are you two talking about?” Danny asked, feigning ignorance as he took a bite of salad. Jimmy looked at him as if he’d turned traitor.
Norman misinterpreted the look, assuming ‘Olivia’ didn’t know much about sports. “Michael Vick,” he offered, “He’s the quarterback for the Falcons.”
Danny nodded. “Oh yes, I’ve heard of him. He’s good, isn’t he?”
Jimmy eyes were about to pop out of his head. “He’s just the greatest QB ever!” he said emphatically, “Everybody knows that, Mom!”
“Well,” Norman replied, “He’s a phenomenal rusher, no doubt about that. But he needs to work on his passing game and get some better receivers. Then he’ll be one of the greatest ever.”
Norman and Jimmy continued their spirited yet friendly debate for several more minutes, arguing the merits of Peyton Manning’s arm against Mike Vick’s legs. Danny stayed out of it, enjoying just watching the two interact. If he had gotten involved, however, he would have most certainly sided with Jimmy. But for some reason, maybe it was societal pre-conceived gender notions; he chose to portray ‘Olivia’ as not knowing much about sports. As he thought about it, he realized he didn’t even know which teams won the football games the past weekend. And for some reason, it didn’t seem that important. He’d spent the week watching “The View”, soap operas and the Food Network, not ESPN.
*****
Danny gripped the soft disposable cup firmly as Norman poured beer from the pitcher. The roar in the air was deafening as ten-pound balls landed on wooden lanes and slammed against pins. People all around them were either howling in disappointment or cheering at the top of their lungs. Jimmy was one of the cheerers.
“Did you see that!” he screamed at Danny and Norman from the lane, jumping up and down excitedly. “I got the spare! Did you see it?”
“Great shot, Jimmy!” said Norman, clapping heartily.
“Yes, honey. Well done!” added Danny with a smile.
Jimmy grinned at the compliments and sat down next to Norman, who patted him enthusiastically on the back.
“I couldn’t have made that shot if I tried five times in a row,” said the enthused teacher. “Why didn’t you tell us you were such a good bowler?”
Danny watched the two getting along so well and it made him feel warm inside. It was what he’d been hoping for. They almost felt like a family.
The men in Danny’s life turned and looked at him.
“Come on, it’s your turn, Mom!” Jimmy said, gesturing toward the empty lane.
“Oh, I don't know,” said Danny. “I'm having such a good time just sitting here watching the two of you.”
“Come on Olivia,” coaxed Norman with a charming smile, “Show us what you got.”
Somehow, Danny just couldn’t say no to that smile. He laid his cigarette in the ashtray and got up from the table. From the ball return, he chose the ball Norman had picked for him. It was lighter in weight and purple and sparkly, one he never would have chosen as a boy. But somehow, it seemed to fit Olivia.
He placed his fingers and thumbs in the holes, being careful with his false nails. He held it to his breast forms as he walked to the line. He didn't know how Olivia felt about bowling but he had loved it as Danny. If anything, he just hoped he didn’t look ridiculous in the rented women’s bowling shoes.
Well, at least my legs look decent in this skirt, he told himself. Glad I remembered to shave them.
Without looking at the lines, he approached the lane with his right foot, followed with his left as he pulled the ball back by his side.
His grip was different with the long nails, and it affected his throw. The ball bounced erratically down the lane, landing in the right-side gutter. Danny scowled at a shot he normally would have made, had he not been such a woman. Norman smiled and walked over as the ball returned.
“Here, let me help you,” he said.
Norman stood behind Danny and wrapped his left arm around the boy’s slim waist, pulling the two close together. He helped Danny grip the ball, gently putting his right hand over Danny’s. They guided the ball back in tandem and slowly brought it forward.
“See? You just need to watch your follow through. Release the ball right about here,” he whispered into Danny’s ear. The teacher’s breath was warm and soft. It felt wonderful on Danny’s skin. He shivered slightly with delight, feeling safe and secure in Norman’s arms.
Jimmy watched Mr. Dinsmore’s subtle seduction curiously, wondering how to react. Should he let Mr. Dinsmore unknowingly flirt with a teenage boy? Should he help Danny out and act as a concerned ‘son’?
Seeing the coy smiles on both of their faces as they flirted with one another, Jimmy stayed put. They were both enjoying themselves, and he didn’t want to ruin the moment.
Norman was too much of a gentleman to take it any further, however, and stepped back to give Danny some room to take his turn. Danny walked back to the line and threw the ball down the lane. His follow through was perfect as the ball left his hand. He watched as it passed the target diamonds and sped toward the pins. His aim was perfect. The pins exploded. None were left standing.
Danny first instinct was to throw his hands in the air and yell, “Fuck yeah!” as he would have done in his previous life. Instead he just squealed in delight as he clasped his hands to his chest and bounced on his toes girlishly. Norman and Jimmy applauded enthusiastically. Danny ran over, hugged Norman and instinctively kissed him on the cheek, thanking him for the pointers. He then sat down on the bench and hugged and kissed Jimmy as well, feeling deeply and truly happy. He was having a wonderful time.
While Danny was away from them during his next turn, Norman moved closer to Jimmy on the bench. “I really appreciate you coming out with me and your mother tonight,” he said sincerely, “It means a lot to me. I had a fun time tonight, and I’m glad you could share it with us. I hope being out with your teacher wasn’t too lame for you.”
“No, I had a lot of fun tonight too, Mr. Dinsmore,” Jimmy replied honestly. “Thanks for letting me come along. You’re a lot cooler than I thought you’d be.”
Norman chuckled. “Thanks, I guess.”
Jimmy looked at him slyly. “You’re still wrong about Mike Vick, though.”
They both laughed and Norman tousled Jimmy’s hair playfully. They both sat back and watched ‘Olivia’ bowl her turn, each admiring ‘her’ for different reasons.
“You really like her, don't you?” asked Jimmy.
The teacher nodded. “Yes I do. I think she's a very special woman and I think you're very lucky to have her for a mother.”
Jimmy nodded. “Yeah,” was all he could reply, wondering just how much longer he’d have her as his mom.
Finished with his turn, Danny walked back to the bench and nestled in between Jimmy and Norman. He spread his arms wide, stretching them over their shoulders as he planted kisses on their cheeks. He then leaned forward, retrieved his cigarette from the ashtray and took a deep drag.
“So how are my two favorite men getting along?” he asked, exhaling. He already knew the answer, and it pleased him deeply.
*****
At the end of the evening, Norman took them home and walked the two boys to their front door. Danny turned to Jimmy.
“Honey, could you be a dear and get a sweater for me? It’s a little chilly out here and I’d like to talk to Mr. Dinsmore for a moment.”
“Sure, Mom,” said Jimmy, letting himself inside the house.
Danny gestured to a swinging bench nearby on the porch. They sat down and Danny pulled a cigarette from his purse. Norman leaned over and lit it for him. They sat and gently swung back and forth for a few moments, making small talk about the evening while Danny smoked.
After a couple of minutes, Jimmy returned with one of Olivia’s wool cardigan sweaters. Norman helped Danny into it and they sat back down.
“Well, goodnight, Mr. Dinsmore,” Jimmy said, offering his hand.
“Goodnight, Jimmy,” said Mr. Dinsmore as he shook the boy's hand firmly. “Maybe we can all do this again sometime.”
“Yeah, sounds cool,” Jimmy said, hoping deep down they would. He leaned in and kissed Danny on the cheek. “Goodnight, Mom.”
Danny was taken aback at the sweet gesture, but hid it well. “Goodnight, sweetheart,” he said with a kind smile. Jimmy returned the smile and went back inside.
“He’s a great kid,” Norman said.
“Yes he is,” said Danny. “Too bad he’s had such a tough life.”
“Hmm? What do you mean?”
Danny had to think fast. Everything was going far too well just to screw up now. “Um, well… his father, my ex-husband, wasn’t the best person. We had some pretty rough times.”
“I see. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”
Danny smiled gently and laid his hand on Norman’s. “No, that’s all right. We’re much better now.”
A slight breeze picked up, and Danny snuggled in closer to Norman. The teacher wrapped a strong arm around the boy’s slender shoulders, puling him even closer. Danny laid his head on Norman’s shoulder. It felt warm and comforting. He closed his eyes, lost in the moment, and took a contented drag from his cigarette.
“Can I see you again, Olivia?” Norman asked hopefully.
“Yes, I’d like that very much,” said Danny as he exhaled. And he meant it.
Norman smiled and rested his head against Danny’s.
“My schedule is really hectic with the holidays coming up, and I’ll be gone next weekend. Maybe we could have dinner sometime during the week?”