A Mother's Love

By slimv and Victor G.
Edited by:  Pippa K.

 

March 2005

Part 5

 

“Wake up!” Jimmy said as he gently nudged and pulled Danny's shoulders.

Danny's head rolled back and forth across his pillow.  His lips mumbled something unintelligible and his eyes blinked open.  The blurry face of his friend, Olivia's son, hovered above him out of focus as his pupils dilated and adjusted to the morning light.  “What is it, sweetheart? Is everything okay?” Danny asked in alarm, instinctively using his Olivia voice as he rose up in bed and wiped the sleep and confusion from his face.

Jimmy grimaced and retreated as if he'd smelled a fart. “It's no big deal.  Everything’s fine,” he said.  He shook his head and looked away. 

“What is it,” asked Danny?

“It's you and that voice,” said Jimmy, still looking away.  “It's been like two weeks and I'm still not used to it coming out of your mouth, especially without your makeup on.”

Danny ignored him as he stretched his back and arms. “You woke me up to tell me that?” he asked, reverting back to his normal voice.  “It’s Saturday morning. Aren’t you up kind of early?”

“Me and Dave and some of the guys are going to the park to play football for a while,” he said as he juggled a leather football between his hands. “I just wanted to see if you wanted to come with us.”

Danny looked around Olivia’s tastefully decorated bedroom for a moment, then down at his feminine bedclothes.

“No, I think I’ll pass,” he replied thoughtfully. “There’s an ‘I Love the 80s’ marathon on VH1 today and I want to watch it. I’ve got some studying to do.”

“For what” asked Jimmy, still tossing the ball and playing catch with himself?

“For Norman, silly. I feel so stupid when I'm with him.  We went to dinner Wednesday night and it was our third date.  We're still just getting to know each other you know, so he's got all these questions and I don't have the answers.  It's like when we were talking about music, and he asked what kind I used to listen to when I was in college. I didn’t know what to tell him so I said something about Bon Jovi, cause I remembered my mom used to like them and then I changed the subject.”

Jimmy shrugged it off. “So what? You faked it and you told him you liked some old band from back in the day. What’s the big deal?”

 Danny rolled his eyes in mild frustration.  He thought Jimmy would have put two and two together by now. “Don’t you get it? Norman thinks I went to college in the Eighties. He thinks we're almost the same age. But right now you're the only thing we have in common.  I gotta know things about old movies and TV shows and music and politics.  You know, the kind of shit grown-ups talk about.”

Jimmy tucked the pigskin under his arm and shot his friend an annoyed look. “No, dude.  He thinks my mom went to school in the Eighties. This 'being my mom' crap is really going to your head.  It's fucking with you.  Don't get me wrong.  It's been cool having a mom around the house but give it a rest.  You've been cooking and cleaning and taking care of me since you got here.  What's it been?  Two weeks?  It won't kill you to take a little break and be your self for just a while.  It would be good for you.  When's the last time you got some exercise and some fresh air?  God knows your lungs could stand a break from all the smoke you've been feeding them.  Forget about Mr. Dinsmore.  He's out of town this weekend, so it's not like you have a date with him tonight. Come on, man.  Put some guy clothes on and lets play some football.”

Danny slipped out of bed without acknowledging his friend and took a seat in front of Olivia's vanity mirror. His lungs ached for a hit of smoke and he catered to their needs by picking up the elegantly decorated gold-colored box of Benson & Hedges 100s. An admiring smile spread across his face as he withdrew a long white cigarette from the pack and measured it against his red painted nails.  Hungrily but gracefully, he placed it between his lips and lit it with the confidence of a woman who knows what she wants.  His full lips puckered against the filter as his cheeks caved inward.  He trembled with fulfilled anticipation as his lungs embraced their first puff of the day.  Regardless of his intentions, he exhaled toward the ceiling in a joyous manner reminiscent of his own mother. 

Jimmy stood motionless as Danny's lungs flooded the room with a sweet-smelling haze that obscured his masculinity like a veil.  His heart raced.  His feet shuffled beneath him.  He tried to turn away, but was frozen in the grasp of Danny's blossoming womanhood.

Oblivious to Jimmy's reaction, Danny crossed his legs and mugged for the mirror, taking note of his feminine grip on the cigarette.  He took another satisfying drag.

His reflection smiled back at him as he proudly considered his achievements in feminine transformation.  He had changed so much in the past two weeks.  He hardly recognized himself anymore: his smoothly-shaven body; his slender hands ornamented with long elegantly manicured and painted false nails; his thin, tweezed eyebrows; Olivia’s soft satin negligee; the long white cigarette between his fingers emphasizing the maturity of the entire image. Even without the wig, makeup and body padding, Danny thought he now looked much more like an adult woman than a teenage boy.

Danny turned away from his reflection and faced his friend.  “Yeah, I guess I could play with you guys...”

Jimmy crossed his arms over the football and waited for the word “But” to become a part of Danny's verbal equation.

“...But I just want to spend as much time as I can being Olivia,” Danny continued. “I really like being her, and I want to do it for as long as I can. It's not like I can do it when my mom gets home and I just want to get as much out of it as I can.  You understand, don't you?  I can go back to being myself and we can play ball when she gets home.  OK?  Do you mind?”

Jimmy scowled. “All right, fine. But aren’t you taking this a bit too far?  I know how much you like being treated like a grown-up and you're right.  It's pretty cool and I kind of understand it. But now you’re trying to make up some fake life history to talk with him about, like you really lived it. Don't you think that's kind of creepy?  Think about it.  I can't tell where you end and my mother starts.”

Danny considered his friend's words as the smoke from his cigarette filtered through his lungs.  “I don't know if it's creepy, but then again I wouldn't expect you to really understand.  It's like I have this connection with your mom and it's so cool.  I can't get enough of it.”

“Maybe you're gay.  Have you thought about that?” asked Jimmy.

“Get out of here!”

“I'm being serious, Danny.  Look at yourself.  You're sitting in my mom's nightgown getting ready to put make-up on.  You're playing kissy-face with my teacher and in case you haven't noticed, my teacher is a guy and so are you!”

“I'm not gay!” said Danny defensively.  “I'm just being a grown-up.  Forget about Norman.  He's got nothing to do with it.  This would be fun for me if I were pretending to be your dad.  It would be a lot easier, that's for sure.  It just worked out this way.  That's all!”

“Whatever,” said Jimmy, “But if you change your mind, we’re going to Dave’s after we’re done playing ball. His parents got him ‘Sword of Omalion’ as an early Christmas present and he’s letting us try it out on his PS2. Man, what a lucky little fu-”

Danny shot him a disapproving look.

Jimmy corrected himself.  “What a very lucky guy,” he said sheepishly.

Danny nodded in approval as he took another puff on the cigarette. “Thanks for the invitation, but I’m going to stay here. You guys have fun, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. But you know where to find us if you change your mind and feel like being a kid again,” Jimmy said as he headed for the door.

“Be careful, honey,” Danny called after him in his Olivia voice.

Jimmy rolled his eyes and turned around. “Okay, I will, ‘Mom’!” he said exasperatedly before walking downstairs and out the front door.

Danny stood by the bedroom window and watched as Jimmy headed off to the park.  Smoke billowed from his nostrils as he remembered playing football with Jimmy and Dave and the guys.  It had been fun, but those days seemed far behind him and some how less important.  His priorities had definitely changed. Today he didn’t want to be Danny Brown, a teenage boy rough-housing and playing football in the park. Today he wanted to be Olivia Wilson, an attractive adult woman with more refined pursuits. Today he wanted to be Jimmy’s mother, not his best friend.

Reflecting on Jimmy’s enthusiasm over Dave’s early Christmas present, Danny realized that Jimmy didn’t have any presents of his own to open on Christmas morning. No presents. Not even a Christmas tree. What kind of a mother was he?

His own mother, Carol, wouldn’t be back from Colorado until Christmas afternoon. That meant he could still spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with Jimmy and do something extra special for him. There was plenty of time to make things right.  He had a week left to decorate the house and get it in the holiday spirit. Plus he had a full day to himself to spend shopping.

“Well then, I’ll just have to make sure my little boy has the best Christmas he ever had!” Danny said with a wide smile, using his Olivia voice. He took a final deep drag on the cigarette, then put it out in the ashtray and walked to the bathroom to get ready for a day of shopping for Olivia's son. He’d set the TiVo to record the 80s shows so he could watch it later and take notes.  Right now he had a mother’s job to do.

After a luxurious bath and a careful shave of his arms and legs using Olivia’s gently perfumed soaps, shampoos and body lotions, Danny stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around his pathetically flat chest.  He wove another around his short damp hair in a womanly style and glided to Olivia’s dresser.

The treasure hunt was on as Danny rummaged through Olivia's drawers.  He eventually decided on a black lace bra and a pair of sheer black panty hose. He set them aside on the bed and picked up a flesh-toned gaff he’d recently bought off the Internet using Olivia’s credit card – without telling Jimmy. He bought it to hide his secret from Norman. Not that he’d gone physically far enough for Norman to detect any masculine abnormalities, but the added protection and caution gave him peace of mind.

Following the instructions, he gently eased his testicles up into his body cavity and tucked his penis between his thighs. He took a deep breath and pulled the gaff over his smooth legs and into place, creating the illusion of a perfectly flat, feminine pelvis.

Satisfied, he glued the lifelike silicon breast forms in place, enjoying their weight as they hung from his chest.  What if he had real breasts?  He quivered at the thought as he slipped the bra on over his arms and inserted the breast forms into the cups.  He beamed with a sense of accomplishment as he reached around his back and hooked it deftly together. After two weeks of practice, he no longer had any trouble with the clasps on Olivia’s bras.

Next he pulled on the expensive black pantyhose, delighting in the smooth feel as the silky material slid over his shapely, hairless legs. He pulled the pantyhose up to his slim waist and inserted his hip padding, widening the appearance of his bottom and hips. They now appeared much curvier, like that of a mature woman with a nice body. He adjusted the padding, making sure everything looked and felt in place.  He tested his handiwork in front of the mirror, checking his rear until he was satisfied with the package.

He sat down at the vanity, reveling in the anticipation of applying his makeup.  Oh yes, this was his favorite part of becoming Olivia. This is where he would erase the gangly teenage boy and replace his awkwardness with the beauty and confidence of an elegant adult woman who possessed style, maturity and the knowledge of living. He leaned toward the mirror and checked his hair to make sure it was dry before pulling the tight-fitting nylon wig cap over his scalp.  Yes, it was dry, but he decided to hold off on the wig, reasoning it would be better to wait until after he got dressed.

He pulled a Benson & Hedges 100 from his pack and lit up, welcoming the warm smoke with a deep, satisfying drag. Exhaling a thick gray cloud into the air, he set the cigarette down in the ashtray and went to work. He started with his eyes, beginning his transformation from 15-year-old Danny Brown to 39-year-old Olivia Wilson.

*****

Danny cast a glance at the ornate clock on the vanity and then at his reflection in the mirror.  Less than forty-five minutes had passed. Olivia’s lovely, mature, tastefully made-up face smiled approvingly at him as he applied a final coat of deep red polish to his long false nails. A freshly lit cigarette with a similarly colored lipstick ring smoldered in the crowded ashtray. He looked back at the clock and grinned as he congratulated himself on his speed and improving skill. Brenda would be proud. He paused for a moment to admire his crafted face in the mirror.

Yes, Brenda would be very proud indeed.

Danny checked his nails. Assured they were dry, he rummaged through Olivia's closet for the proper shopping attire. He selected a very stylish ensemble, perfect for an upscale mall, a black ankle-length wool skirt and a black knit turtleneck sweater. He cautiously eased the sweater down over his head, careful not to mar his flawlessly made up face. He then slid the skirt over his nylons and hip padding. He tucked in the sweater and pulled up the zipper on the side. He paused for a moment to enjoy the snugness of Olivia’s skirt around his waist. He checked his illusory curves under Olivia’s clothes as his lips curled into a satisfied smile. ‘She’ did have quite a nice body for a woman just entering middle age.

He picked up the gorgeous chestnut-colored wig from the Styrofoam head and gently shook it out before nestling it into place onto his scalp, securing it to the wig cap and deftly concealing the false hairline. He picked up a brush and carefully styled the long wavy hair.

He cocked his head ever so slightly in the mirror, blew himself a kiss and laid down the brush.  He pushed himself away from the vanity and returned to the closet where he picked out a pair of knee-high black leather boots with 3-inch stiletto heels and also selected a gold buckled black leather belt -- perfect complements to his outfit. After slipping the belt around his waist, he sat down on the bed and pulled the boots over his stockinged feet. He zipped them up over his shapely calves, enjoying the feel of the snug leather against his calves.

He stood up gracefully and walked over to Olivia’s jewelry box. He picked out some of her finest solid gold items – clip-on earrings, a wide bracelet, a matching necklace and a ladies Rolex watch – and put them all on, completing the entire sophisticated ensemble.

He retrieved his cigarette from the ashtray and walked over to the full-length mirror where he stared admiringly at his adult female reflection. Not only did he have a truly beautiful face, but the outfit he’d chosen fit perfectly in all the right places, flattering his falsely curved body quite well.

God, what he wouldn't give to be with a woman that looked like him!  Poor Norman, he thought.  It wasn't his fault.  How could the teacher be anything but smitten by the illusion?  Nothing about him betrayed his maleness or true age. 

Who is Danny Brown?  He begged the question as his lips encircled the filter of his cigarette.

I don't know him, he thought as he exhaled smoke at his womanly reflection.

I’m Olivia Wilson, he thought confidently as he took another drag on his cigarette before crushing it out in the ashtray.

He spritzed himself with Olivia’s favorite perfume, picked up a black leather designer handbag, filling it with his cigarettes and lighter and a ladies wallet, complete with credit cards and ID, before proceeding to the kitchen. He found a piece of paper and a pen and wrote a note for Jimmy in a flowing feminine script:

“Honey,

Had to step out for a bit. I'll be back later. If you get back before I do and get hungry, there are leftovers in the fridge.

Love,

Mom”

Danny pursed his lips and kissed the bottom of the note, leaving a red lipstick stain on the paper. He smiled as he set it down on the kitchen table before making his way to the hall closet. The weather had gotten noticeably colder in the past few days, so he picked out a stylish tan camel hair overcoat to keep him warm. For a little color in his wardrobe, he slipped a fashionable scarf under the coat’s wide lapels. He found a pair of Olivia’s black leather gloves in the pocket of the coat. He pulled them on, admiring how they looked. The well-fitting gloves molded themselves to his slender hands, making them appear even more elegant and feminine.

He checked his reflection one last time in the hallway mirror. Everything was in order; he looked just like a normal well-dressed older woman out for a day of shopping at the mall. With a satisfied smirk, he walked out the door to a champagne-colored Lexus SUV in the driveway. The real Olivia had paid it off just before she died and Jimmy kept it around as a reminder of her. He would even drive it from time to time to the store when he needed groceries or the like, but only at night so no one could see the underage driver. Danny had also driven it a coule of times in the past week, but just around the corner to the grocery store or to a nearby convenience store for a pack of cigarettes.

As Danny walked down the driveway, he couldn’t help put grin at the sound of his boot heels clicking on the paved drive, a reinforcement of the freedom of his newfound adult female identity. He pulled the keys from his purse, unlocked the car door and slid gracefully between the wheel and the leather seat. He pulled a Benson & Hedges from his purse and lit up. Smoke from the cigarette between his gloved fingers wafted through the car's interior, the aroma of tobacco blending with the scent of his expensive perfume. He started the engine before rolling down the window ever so slightly -- just enough to let the smoke escape without mussing his carefully-styled wig. He took a deep drag on the cigarette to calm his nerves and exhaled a thick cone of smoke out the window crack. He took hold of the steering wheel and gripped it firmly as he coaxed the confidence from within.

“Okay, Olivia, you can do this,” he reassured himself in his adult feminine voice, “You’ve already driven to the store a couple of times. This is just a few more miles away. Just remember everything from Driver’s Ed and you’ll be fine. The traffic won’t be that bad.”

Danny glanced at the purse in the passenger’s seat. Inside was the real Olivia’s driver’s license, just in case he got pulled over. While he wasn’t her exact twin, with his elaborately made up face and styled wig, there was a chance he could pass as the woman on the license if no one studied the photo too closely. The knowledge comforted him and made him feel a little more like the real Olivia.

He took another drag from his cigarette and pulled down on the gearshift as the engine obligingly dropped to reverse.  He turned his head slightly; avoiding blind spots as he confidently backed the Lexus out of the driveway and headed for the mall, looking forward to buying presents for Olivia's son.

And a certain special teacher, he thought with a fond smile.

*****

“May I help you, ma’am?” asked the awkward-looking teenaged sales assistant.

The boy, who was all of eighteen, seemed incapable of looking away from the well-built older woman as she picked through the Play Station games.  Lecherous thoughts permeated his brain as he drank in her well-defined body. I wouldn't kick her out of bed.  No way, he thought.  He wanted to fuck her.  He gave no consideration to her age.  He didn't care that she was probably old enough to be his mother.  If anything, it intensified his desire for her. Older women knew exactly what to do in bed. Or so he’d heard.

“Yes, I'm looking for a PlayStation 2 game for my son,” replied Danny pleasantly.  He was thrilled that a boy who was slightly older than himself would address him as “ma'am”. “What do you recommend?”

“Well, how old is he?”

 “He’s fifteen.”

 “Okay, there's 'Space Bastion'. That's pretty cool. Lots of action and stuff.”

That game sucks ass, Danny murmured to himself. “I think he's already got that one,” he replied with forced sweetness. “Anything else?”

“Hmm. There's ‘Death Courier'. That's pretty hot right now.”

Jesus, that one sucked too, thought Danny. He's just trying to con me into buying the games that won't sell because...

Because he thinks I'm somebody’s mother, and I’m too old to know the difference! He broke into a smile as reveled in the idea of deceiving the boy.

“No, I don’t think he likes that one very much. What about ‘Sword of Omalion?' Do you have that one?” asked Danny.

“Oh yeah. That's a pretty cool one. And we’ve only got one left ‘til after Christmas.”

Danny knew only too well how much Jimmy really wanted it.  But his friend wouldn’t buy it for himself, not until after the holidays had passed. He didn’t have a family to celebrate Christmas with, and Jimmy didn’t want to be the loser that bought himself presents. He’d wait until the New Year, and then buy it so he wouldn’t think of it as a present. The thought made Danny rather sad.

Don't worry honey, Danny thought, not realizing he was using his Olivia voice inside his head. You'll at least have a mother this Christmas. And I'll show you the best Christmas you've ever had.

“I'll take it,” said Danny with a warm smile. He shuffled the packages in his arms to remove the real Olivia Wilson's platinum Visa card from his handbag and handed it to the clerk. He forged Olivia's name to the receipt, scooped up his bags and set off to finish his shopping.

**********

 

Danny needed a break. He was having a wonderful time browsing and shopping and just being Olivia, but he still wasn’t quite finished buying presents. He’d visited nearly every store in the mall, looking for the perfect gifts for Jimmy and Norman. Every salesperson he encountered accepted his disguise unquestioningly, viewing him as just another attractive, well-dressed adult female shopper. Each time he bought something, they would simply take Olivia’s credit card with a smile and then watch him forge her signature to the receipt. Danny felt an incredible rush every time, immersing him further and further into his Olivia identity. Yet after a while, despite the fun he was having, his arms became overloaded and began to ache from the packages he carried. And to top it off, it had been over two hours since his last cigarette. He badly needed one.  His cravings were becoming unbearable.

He found an available bench just outside the main mall entrance. The brisk December breeze coerced him into pulling his coat tighter around him for a little more warmth. He smoothed his skirt under him and sat gracefully, crossing his booted legs. He pulled Olivia’s snug-fitting leather gloves from his coat pocket and slid them over his chilly hands, admiring how the leather fit perfectly over his slender, well-manicured fingers. He fished a Benson & Hedges from the gold-colored pack in his purse and lit one, rewarding himself with a slow deep drag. He sat back contentedly, savoring the warm, calming taste of the tobacco smoke.

It’s cold out here but this makes it all worth it, thought Danny, pursing his painted lips for a thick exhale.

His desire and desperation for the cigarette had not gone unnoticed.  I guess I really am addicted now, he thought as he took another deep drag. Just like the real Olivia was. God, I’m becoming more and more like her every day.

He looked down at the lipstick-stained cigarette between his gloved fingers. It looked so adult and feminine, yet it felt completely natural to him. He took a pensive drag and pondered the difficulty of quitting.  He was lost in this thought when a familiar female voice begged his attention.

“Excuse me miss. Can I trouble you for a light?”

Danny turned to see Brenda standing beside him with an unlit long brown More cigarette in her hand. She was busy shuffling back and forth in an attempt to keep warm.  She hadn’t seen his face.  She hadn't recognized him- yet.

“Of course,” Danny said with a small knowing smile, pulling his lighter from his purse. He flicked it to life and offered the small flame forth. Brenda leaned forward and cupped her hands around the flame until her cigarette was lit.  She pulled back and inhaled deeply. Danny studied her face, looking for some sign of recognition.

“Thanks,” Brenda said, exhaling into the air above them, “It’s been a totally shitty day. I really needed this and then wouldn't you know...”

She paused as she finally looked down to view Danny’s elegantly disguised face.

“Oh my God!” she gasped, “Danny? Is that you?”

Danny just placed a gloved finger to his lips with a sly smile and leaned forward. “Don’t tell anyone,” he whispered in his own voice. He sat back, took a drag on his cigarette and continued in his Olivia voice, “And please, dear, call me Olivia. Or Mrs. Wilson if you like.”

Brenda took a seat beside him.  She was stunned to say the least. “Wow, you, you look fantastic! And that outfit is fabulous! You really know how to dress!”

“Thank you,” said Danny demurely, still in character. “I’ve had a little practice since the last time we saw each other.”

Brenda nodded happily as she took a puff on her cigarette, but the look on her face was puzzled. “So why are you still dressed like this? I thought you guys were just trying to fool your teacher for a couple of after school meetings.”

“Well,” Danny began thoughtfully, “It’s a long story. Let’s just say I’ve come to love the freedom and respect I get when I’m dressed like this.”

“I see,” said Brenda. “So how long do you plan on staying like this?”

“As long as I can,” Danny said, raising his cigarette to his painted lips.

Brenda appraised him with a raised eyebrow and gestured with her cigarette. “I see you didn’t take my advice about smoking.  It looks as if you went and got yourself hooked on these damn things. You’re acting like a woman who’s been smoking for many years.”

Danny let out a long exhale and laughed gently. “Well, isn't that the look I was going for? I’ll admit I wasn’t crazy about it at first; it was hard to get used to. But I guess you could say it really grew on me.  I'll think I'll miss it as much as the clothes when this is over.”

As Danny took another deep, satisfying drag on his cigarette, Brenda shook her head in disbelief.  She recognized the boy's addiction for what it was -- absolute, and she blamed herself.

“I guess I never should have encouraged you. I just wanted you to be able to pass as an adult female smoker for a night.  I didn’t mean for you to get addicted. I’m so sorry about that.”

Danny reached over and patted her hand. “It’s okay, sweetie. I really enjoy smoking now. I love it, actually. I can’t believe I was so anti before.”

Brenda smiled a little sadly and took a puff on her More. “Well, I can understand that. I got started when I was your age. And look at me now. I can’t go more than a couple of hours without a cigarette.”

“Me either,” Danny said as he raised his cigarette back to his lips slowly and deliberately. He held then the smoke in for a few moments before tilting his head back femininely for a long, streaming exhale.

Brenda appraised his performance with an appreciative nod.  “You're a smoker now, honey.  You might want to seriously consider telling your mother when she gets home.”

For a moment, Brenda could see the look of a scared little boy on “Olivia’s” elaborately painted face.  “I'll quit, I promise,” he said quickly and resolutely, accidentally slipping back into his own voice.  “She'll kill me if she finds out I've been smoking.”

Brenda scowled at Danny’s denial and looked around to make sure no one noticed the attractive woman talking with a teenage boy’s voice. She leaned in and whispered conspiratorially. “Danny, take it from a woman who knows.  You're a smoker now and you need to let your mother know.  Sure, she'll be angry and disappointed at first, but she'll understand.”

Danny answered with a nervous drag from his cigarette and spoke lowly in reply, still using his own voice.  “I didn't mean to get hooked,” he said.  “I just wanted to be like Jimmy's mom.  That's the only reason I did it.”

“Well, I will admit you really do look the part. If I hadn’t helped you with your makeup before, I would’ve thought you were just another adult woman out here taking a smoke break like me.”

“Well, that’s what I’m trying to be,” said Danny defensively. He paused thoughtfully before continuing. “That reminds me,” he said cautiously. “I have a date Christmas Eve and I’d like to look my best. Do you think I could make an appointment with you?”

“Is it with your teacher?” Brenda asked sternly.

Danny blushed a little, trying to hide his obvious infatuation with Norman.

“Yes,” he said, looking away in embarrassment.

“And does he know who you really are?”

“No, he doesn't,” Danny said quietly, looking down guiltily over his stylish, feminine wardrobe. “That’s why I need your help again. I don’t want him to find out.”

“Oh Danny,” said Brenda.  “I don't know if I should.  It just doesn't seem right.  Nothing about this seems right.  I never should have helped you in the first place, but it seemed like an innocent prank and a way to keep you boys out of trouble.  I had no idea it would come to this and neither did you.  Do you hear what you're saying?  You're not a real woman, Danny.  You're not an adult.  Your teacher is a man and you're just a boy.  You're just confused, that's all.”

 Danny looked at her with a desperate expression. He gripped Brenda’s free hand tightly and spoke in his Olivia voice.

“Please, Brenda. This is really important to me,” he whispered.  “You're right.  I am confused but it's not like you think.  I know I'm not gay.”

“But you like him, don't you?” asked Brenda.

“I do, but not the way you think,” said Danny.  “Look at this,” he said as he rummaged through his purse in search of a woman’s leather wallet.  He opened it to Norman's picture.  The fact that it had been cut out of Jimmy's yearbook made no difference.  “This is Norman.  He's not gay, Brenda, and neither am I. It's just that I'm afraid this might be the last time he sees me dressed like this and I want to look perfect for him.  Nothing's going to happen.  I'm just cooking him dinner.”

Brenda saw the sincerity in Danny’s expertly painted eyes as she took the picture for a closer look. She smiled gently and patted Danny’s gloved hand reassuringly. “He's a nice looking man.  I can see what you see in him.”

“That's not why I showed you his picture and it's not why I like him,” argued Danny.

“Have you kissed him yet?”

The question startled Danny but he answered it honestly.  “Yes, but I had to.  I was just playing my part.  I only did it to help Jimmy. And I won’t take things any further.”

Brenda nodded and smiled grudgingly. “Okay, sweetie, I’ll help you. Give me a call tomorrow and we'll set up an appointment.”

“I’ll do that,” said Danny.  Thank you very much.”

He pulled back his glove slightly and glanced at the slim women’s Rolex on his wrist. “I guess I better get back to shopping now.” He stood up from the bench and leaned down, kissing Brenda lightly on the cheek. “Take care sweetie.  It was nice talking to you.”

Brenda smiled, “You too, …Olivia.”

**********

Upon arriving home, Danny checked to make sure the coast was clear before removing the packages from the Lexus and hiding them in the closet. As he put away Olivia’s coat and gloves, he noticed several old photo albums on the top shelf. Curious, he pulled them out and took them over to the couch. He turned on the radio and changed it to an 80s station to help set the mood.  After pouring himself a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon, and lighting a cigarette, he opened the album and drifted through the pages of memories he'd never experienced first hand.

As he flipped the pages, he came face to face with the different phases of Olivia’s life. The first page depicted her as an adorable baby with doting parents. Another showed her as a cute, freckled, pigtailed schoolgirl. There was also the teenaged ‘rocker chick’ with big hair, too much makeup, Def Leppard concert T-shirt, acid washed jeans and white fringed leather boots. Danny smiled at the pretty auburn-haired sorority girl at UGA. He sighed as he saw her as the beautiful young bride in the flowing white wedding dress sneaking a cigarette beneath a live oak. His heart sang as he was introduced to Olivia as a glowing young mother with her newborn son. He turned the page and saw the gorgeous, smartly dressed adult businesswoman and PTA mom.

The pictures overwhelmed him. For the first time, he realized the true depth of his masquerade. He was supposed to be this woman. This was his best friend’s mother. He had taken her name and identity and made them his.  She wasn't a fantasy.  She had been real.  She had lived. She had given birth to and taken care of Jimmy. She had loved and raised him. She had an actual life before it was cut tragically short.

Up until this point, Danny hadn’t fully considered that. Obviously he knew Olivia Wilson had been a real woman. But his version was a fictitious character created through a wig, makeup, cigarettes, padding, vocal tricks and stylish clothes. He could give her any past he wanted to, create any memory for her out of thin air. Who would know he was lying? But after seeing the real Olivia in the pictures, he felt ashamed. He was just a boy.  He hadn’t really lived any of this. What right did he have to her name, her life -- even if it was only temporary?

He found his answer in the next photo album. It was full of pictures of Jimmy. There he was: as a baby, an infant and a toddler. Here was Jimmy as a young schoolboy and as a child on the verge of adolescence. He turned through pages of birthdays, school photos and Halloween costumes. He gently stroked the cheek in one of the school portraits affectionately with a long painted false nail.

“Oh my, what an adorable little boy he was,” Danny said fondly, with a warm sense of maternalism growing inside him with each picture.

But it was the photo on the last page of the album that completely melted his heart.

There was just one picture in the center of the page.  It was dated December 25th from two years earlier. It was of Olivia and a 13-year-old Jimmy hugging joyfully in front of a beautifully decorated, green Christmas tree. She looked lovely in a soft, emerald green V-neck sweater and black jeans. But it was Jimmy’s expression that brought a tears to Danny’s eyes.

The boy in the photo was smiling. No, grinning. The truly happy look of a child on a Christmas morning who still had his innocence.

Olivia died two months after the picture was taken. It was the last photo they’d ever taken together.

Beneath the cellophane page cover, the picture itself was worn at the edges and slightly yellowed, even though it was only two years old. Danny guessed that Jimmy must have pulled this picture out over and over again to look at. There were a couple of small circular splotchy stains in the corner of the photo that might have been tearstains.

“Oh sweetheart,” Danny whispered, his heart breaking.

In all the time they’d known each other, Danny couldn't remember seeing Jimmy nearly as happy as he had been in this photo. But he knew his friend could smile like that again.  All needed was a mother’s absolute love, even if it were just for a little while.

He felt warmth in his chest, a strong yet tender motherly instinct that arose from within and conquered any doubts he harbored about being Olivia. He carefully dabbed away his tears with a tissue and looked around the house. It was beautifully furnished and decorated, but no sign of Christmas could be found anywhere. The house was barren of tree and ornaments. There were no Santas or beautiful angels perched upon the mantle. Though cozy, the home was bereft of holiday spirit. It was a far cry from the festively decorated room depicted in the photo.

“We definitely need some Christmas spirit around here,” Danny said with a smile.  I better change into something more comfortable, he thought.  After glancing back at the photo, he knew there could only be one outfit for the occasion.

**********

 

“Hey, I’m home!” Jimmy called out as he opened the door and stepped inside. He pulled off his coat and hung it in the closet. As he faced the living room, he stopped in his tracks and gasped at the sight that greeted him.

A beautiful, full, green 6-foot-tall artificial fir tree stood in the living room. Danny must have found it in the basement or the attic, he thought.  Multi-colored lights and ornaments of all types hung and twinkled on the tree.  It was a wondrous, festive display of miniature Santas and snowmen, tin soldiers and teddy bears, reindeer and ribbons. Several beautifully wrapped packages lay spread out under the tree. Jimmy was awestruck.

Danny sat nearby on the couch, grinning at Jimmy’s reaction. He’d changed his fashionable shopping attire for more casual clothes and now wore a green knit V-neck sweater, black jeans and white leather women’s sneakers.  It was the same outfit the real Olivia had worn in the photograph. The clothes, along with his perfect hair, nails and makeup, emphasized Danny’s illusion of warm, middle-aged, motherly femininity. He sat with his legs crossed, leisurely sipping from a steaming cup of coffee with sugar and cream. A freshly lit cigarette smoldered between his slender, well-manicured fingers. Soothing adult contemporary Christmas music played from a stereo in the corner.

Danny, who was obviously proud of his work, parted his painted lips into a warm smile and asked in his female voice, “So, what do you think, honey?”

Jimmy looked at his friend in wonder. His mother used to decorate their tree just like that. It brought back a flood of happy memories.

“Wow, I… I don’t believe it!” Jimmy said, still in disbelief. He rushed forward and Danny stood up to meet him. They hugged fiercely. Jimmy closed his eyes and buried his face in the soft hair of Danny’s wig, breathing in the familiar memories of his mother’s perfume and lingering cigarette smoke.

“I can’t believe you did all this for me!” Jimmy said, fighting back tears of joy.  “It's incredible, just like I remember.  How did you know?”

Danny embraced Olivia's son tightly and kissed him gently on the head. “You’re so very welcome, sweetheart,” he replied as he stroked Jimmy’s hair affectionately. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it,” Jimmy replied, stepping back. “Where did you find this stuff?”

“In the attic. It wasn’t easy hauling that big tree box down by myself, but at least I got it up and decorated.”

Jimmy laughed. “You did great. I just wish I could have helped out.”

“Well, there’s still a few boxes left in the attic and we still need to decorate the rest of the house. Want to help?”

Jimmy smiled warmly. “Sure thing, Mom. I’d love to.”

Danny shivered with delight at the sound of the word “Mom.” It was said so lovingly.

**********

Two hours later, the entire living room was decked out in festive colors and adorned with various holiday decorations. Jimmy sat down on the couch to admire it all.  He felt like a little kid again. They’d done a great job, just like he and his real mother had done when he was younger.

He looked curiously at the beautifully wrapped packages under the tree. He leaned forward and read the tag on the closest one: “To Jimmy -- Love, Mom”.

He smiled and reached to pick up the wrapped gift for a gentle shake when Danny walked back in carrying two mugs of hot cocoa. He looked at Jimmy with mock disapproval.

“James Thomas Wilson!” he admonished playfully, “No nosing around your presents, young man!”

“What? No, I wasn’t!” he protested.

“I’m just kidding. Here you go, sweetheart,” Danny said affectionately, offering Jimmy one of the mugs.

“Hey, it’s even got the little marshmallows I like so much!” Jimmy said happily, taking a sip. “Thanks, Mom. You’re the best!”

Jimmy grinned happily.  It was the same boyish, innocent smile Danny had seen earlier in the Christmas photo. It made him feel wonderful, like a real mother. Yet in spite of Jimmy’s glee, Danny couldn’t help but feel a small twinge of sadness. It must have been awful being a kid and living alone for the past two years. Jimmy had no family – not even living grandparents – and his deadbeat dad was long gone.  Where was he?  Danny guessed he was somewhere on the West Coast dealing drugs. Jimmy's father hadn’t been heard from for many years.  He had faded into oblivion.

It was no wonder Jimmy used to act so tough given what he’d been through, Danny thought. Even going so far as to take up smoking. But now that he's got a mother for a little while, even a pretend one, he can be a kid again.

Funny, Danny said to himself as he lit a cigarette. Before, I was the kid and he was more like the adult in our friendship. Now I’m the adult. And I like it. I want to take care of him. I really do want to be Jimmy’s mother.

“So,” said Jimmy, gesturing toward the presents, “Are all these for me?”

Danny smiled and tousled Jimmy’s hair playfully. “Not all of them, Mr. Greedy. A couple of them are for Norman.”

“That’s cool.”

“Oh, that’s not all,” said Danny eagerly. “I got a little something for me as well.”

 “Oh yeah? What?”

Danny grinned and brushed aside the hair of his wig to expose his left ear. A small but beautiful solid gold hoop earring rested in a fresh hole in the lobe.

“You got your ears pierced?” Jimmy asked in disbelief, “Didn’t that hurt?”

“A little,” said Danny, “But I thought it might be weird if ‘Olivia’ didn’t have her pierced ears by now. She’s supposed to be 39, remember?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. My mom had hers done when she was a little girl. But what are you going to tell your mom when she gets back and sees the holes in your ears?”

Danny took a drag off his cigarette and exhaled. “I’ll worry about that later. Right now, let’s just enjoy the holidays together. Which reminds me, I checked the TV Guide and ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ is coming on tonight. You want to make some popcorn and watch it?”

Jimmy wasn’t sure how to answer. It sounded like a pretty hokey way to spend a Saturday night.  He couldn’t picture the old Danny kicking back to enjoy some cheesy old Christmas special. But then he remembered watching it with his real mother when he was a kid.  He remembered how important it was to her and supposed it would be just as important to his faux mom. Looking at the sweet, maternal expression on Danny’s beautiful, painted face, he knew he was right.

“Sure, Mom,” said Jimmy with a genuine smile, “Sounds like a lot of fun.”

******

To Be Continued...

 

Author's note: This is a fairly long story. As of now, it is over 170 pages and still growing. Vic and I will finish it because the story is a labor of love. However, that doesn't mean all the parts will be posted. If you care enough to leave a comment, I'll care enough to post the additional parts. As a reminder, my TG stories only appear on Sapphire's Place, so if Sapphire's goes off line, my stories go with it. Please contribute to the website if you can.

 

since 04/11/05