A Mother's Love
By slimv and Victor G.
Part 7
A shorthaired figure
clad in a pink fuzzy bathrobe leaned against the doorframe peering into the
bedroom. My God, he looks just like an angel, thought Danny as he studied
Jimmy's sleeping face in the dim morning light. The boy stirred but didn't
wake. Probably still doing battle with the "Sword of Omalion",
thought Jimmy. I shouldn't have let him stay up so late.
Danny ran a long
false nail across his wigless scalp. If not for the plucked eyebrows and
painted nails, he might have passed for an ordinary boy in his mother's
bathrobe. But what ordinary boy would be caught dead in his mother's pink
fuzzy bathrobe? He had put off getting dressed so he could be himself for a
little while, if not forever, as his days as being "Olivia" were
drawing to a close.
As he watched
Jimmy slumber peacefully, he thought about the trauma of Christmas morning. He
remembered Jimmy’s near breakdown, and how he had clung to him so desperately,
needing his "mother" to comfort and sooth him. Jimmy had regressed to
a lost little boy. Danny had never seen such a raw display of terrified
emotions from his friend. It disturbed him greatly and he did his best to make
things better. But his best hadn't been good enough. Jimmy needed a mother-
not a friend. So Danny gave Jimmy what he needed most- Olivia, his mother.
After calming and
reassuring his friend, they spent the rest of Christmas Day as mother and son.
Danny had been careful to stay completely in character as Olivia, to maintain
the frail illusion. They took the remote-control plane; the one Jimmy had
bought him for Christmas, to the park. The field was filled with families
having similar ideas.
Danny, dressed
smartly as Olivia, took a seat on a nearby park bench alongside another mother
whose son was playing in the field. He smoked cigarettes and made small talk
with the other mom while Olivia's son piloted the toy plane. Every now and
then, he would turn his attention to the field when Jimmy yelled excitedly for
his mom to "Look at this!"
The day went
well, and Jimmy showed no signs of his earlier fear of abandonment, nor did he
speak of it. Danny didn’t mention it either, content to play his role as the
perfect mom, giving Jimmy one of his best Christmas days ever. He'd been so
proud of himself at the time, but now, as he looked down at his friend
sleeping, he began to feel guilty. Should I even be doing this, he wondered? Am
I doing more harm than good? I can’t stay like this – can I?
Danny briefly
envisioned a life where he could remain as Jimmy’s mother. Of course it wasn't
possible. But what if it was? That somehow, someway, he could possess
Olivia’s identity as his own.
He smiled at the
thought as he enjoyed taking care of Jimmy and being there for him. It was as
if he'd discovered his purpose in life. He relished the idea of being Jimmy's
mom. After all, he had become so good at being a mother. He saw himself
signing report cards and going to Jimmy's games. He saw himself being there for
"her" son at birthdays and holidays. He saw himself cooking and
cleaning for Jimmy, providing a real home life for him, and keeping him safe
and loved.
He made his way
quietly across the room to Jimmy's bed and affectionately ran his polished
nails through the sleeping boy's hair. Jimmy stirred slightly at Danny’s
gentle, motherly touch.
“What – Mom?”
mumbled Jimmy sleepily as he slowly opened his eyes.
Danny moved aside
before Jimmy could see him and break the illusion. He leaned over and planted a
sweet motherly kiss upon the boy's forehead.
“Shh. It’s all
right. Go back to sleep, honey,” Danny said lovingly in his Olivia voice. Jimmy
dreamily inhaled his mother's smoky scent and faded back into his restful
sleep. Danny kissed his friend gingerly on the cheek and slipped quietly from
the room, closing the door carefully behind him.
He looked around
the house as he went down stairs. He couldn't help but notice how much nicer
things looked. Since taking over as Jimmy's mom, the house was in much better
shape. It even smelled better – thanks to the potpourri he had bought. He
absorbed the feminine touches spackled about, the ones he had picked up from a
several ladies’ magazines. Yes indeed. He had changed the house into a home.
Jimmy had changed
as well. He’d quit smoking and was helping around the house. His manners had
greatly improved. He’d even said “Yes, ma’am” to Danny on occasion without
thinking about it. It pleased Danny greatly, that Jimmy had improved under his
watch. The angry little boy was becoming a considerate, conscientious young
man.
All these good
things happened because Jimmy's mother came back into his life. But what will
happen when she leaves again? How far over the edge will he fall? God only
knows what might happen to him. Drugs? Crime? Danny's heart chilled with
motherly fear for "her" son. He didn't like to think of Jimmy in such
a vulnerable position. But after yesterday’s childlike display of fear of
abandonment, anything was possible. Jimmy was so fragile right now, and Danny
was truly worried for him.
He went to the
kitchen and fixed himself a cup of coffee. Jimmy needs a mother, he thought.
But I can’t keep being her, even though I really enjoy it. I’m just a kid too,
how can I be a mother to someone my age? And besides, my own mom is coming back
in a few days anyway, so it’s all over. But what will happen to Jimmy?
He spotted the
phone on the counter and knew what he had to do. It was for Jimmy’s own good.
He picked it up and dialed 411, to get the number for Child Protective Services.
Jimmy was in a vulnerable position right now and he desperately needed a
mother, someone to protect him from both the world and himself.
As Danny waited
for the operator, he wondered if Jimmy would hate him for what he was about to
do. Hadn’t they created this elaborate disguise to keep Jimmy away from CPS?
Wouldn’t he feel utterly betrayed, both by his best friend and his new mother?
Wouldn’t he hate them both? Danny couldn’t bear the thought of breaking Jimmy's
trust. He hung up the phone and took a sip of coffee.
No, Jimmy doesn’t
need a stranger to be his mother. He needs me. He trusts me. And nobody knows
him better than I do. I could still be his mother on the weekends. Mom wouldn’t
have to know. She lets me spend the night over here all the time. That might
work, Danny thought with a smile. Just until Jimmy goes away to college and can
really take care of his self.
He sat down at
the kitchen table, pleased with his decision. It will work, he thought. It has
to work. Jimmy will be fine with me as his part-time mother. He
absent-mindedly reached for the cigarette case Norman had given him, pulled out
a cigarette and lit up. He crossed his legs and smoked in silence while sipping
his coffee.
He was admiring
the ornate cigarette case when he thought of Norman. Oh god, what am I going
to do about him, he wondered? He’s such a wonderful man; I can’t keep lying to
him like this. I have break up with him. I can’t keep leading him on like
this.
His thoughts
returned to Jimmy. The teacher had become a positive influence on Jimmy's
life. The two were becoming good friends, and Norman was something of a father
figure to him. The mother from within told him that Olivia's son needed a
father as well. How can I keep Norman in Jimmy’s life? Do I keep seeing him on
the weekends? Sooner or later, though, he’s going to want to have sex…Norman
was a good man and that was precisely the problem. The idea of having sex with
another male repulsed him. Not that Norman would ever agree to such a thing.
But still, just the idea of it...Yuck!
He'd do it
though, wouldn't he? If he could save Jimmy from a life of misery, he'd have
sex with Norman or do anything else for that matter. His motherly instincts
had grown that strong.
I like dressing
up like a woman, but I'm no fag. I like girls! But there had been times when
he had been caught up in the moment of being Olivia. He remembered those times
and they made him unsure of himself.
"That's just
Brenda talking," said Danny out loud. "She's getting in my head.
All that shit about following my heart, talking like I was in love with the guy
or something."
He needed to
clear his head, so he took the coffee and cigarettes into the living room. He
sat down in front of the television and turned on the PlayStation2. He’d been
looking forward to playing the game ever since he’d bought it while posing as
Olivia.
"You lose
Mortal!" exclaimed Omalion from the TV.
Danny gave up and
lit a cigarette. The game wasn't nearly as much fun as he hoped it would be.
Granted, false nails made playing more difficult, but still... The excitement
wasn’t there. He was just about to turn off the TV when Jimmy came down the
stairs, wiping the sleep from his eyes.
“Hey dude,” he
said, a little surprised at seeing Danny instead of “Olivia”. He sat down next
to Danny and picked up the extra controller.
“Hey back,” Danny
replied, “Did you sleep good?” Danny clutched the cigarette between his teeth
and reached over to reset the game so they both could play. He couldn't help
but notice Jimmy staring at him. "What are you looking at," he
asked?
Jimmy shook his
head and waved off his friend's question. "Its nothing. It's just that
I'm not used to seeing you smoke dressed like that. Its one thing when you're
dressed like my mom. But like this...you know. You look like a kid, like your
self. It doesn't look right on you."
Danny blushed and
crushed out his cigarette in the ashtray.
"I slept
good though," said Danny. "I had this great dream that my mom – my
real mom – was watching over me from heaven. She came in and touched my face
and kissed me on the head and told me everything was going to be all right. It
was pretty cool.”
“Sounds nice,”
said Danny. Inside he was beaming, but he kept it to himself.
They played for
half an hour, and Danny was happy to reconnect with Jimmy as friends instead of
parent and child. They played and laughed and talked trash at each other. Yet
somehow, Danny didn’t feel the same. It wasn't as fun as it used to be and he
wondered what was wrong with him?
He felt like he
was forgetting something and then it came to him.
“Oh wow. Aren’t
you hungry?” Danny asked. “You haven’t had breakfast yet!”
“Ah, don’t worry
about it. I’d rather play Omalion,” Jimmy said dismissively.
“No, no, it’s
okay. What do you want? I’ll make you some eggs.” Danny jumped up eagerly and
ran to the kitchen.
“Hey man, it’s
okay,” Jimmy called after him.
Danny ignored him
and pulled some eggs, cheese and bacon from the refrigerator. He prepared a
hearty breakfast for Jimmy, but nothing for himself. After several minutes, he
fixed a plate for Jimmy and brought it to him in the living room, complete with
a mug of steaming hot cocoa.
As he sat and
watched Jimmy devour his food, Danny felt a sense of happiness seep through
him. Doing motherly things like this pleased him more than his old teenaged
antics of videogame playing.
Jimmy stopped
eating and looked at Danny. “Aren’t you going to eat something?”
“No, I’ve got my
breakfast right here,” said Danny as he held up an unlit cigarette and his cup
of coffee. "Will it bother you if I smoke dressed like this?"
“Don't worry
about it," said Jimmy as he went back to his breakfast.
"Okay.
Thanks," said Danny as he lit the cigarette and crossed his legs.
"About what happened yesterday...I was meaning to talk to you about it.
Are you going to be okay? You know...after I have to go back home."
Jimmy paused
before answering. “Sure. I'm fine. Sorry about freaking out on you like that.
I don’t know what happened. I guess I just got caught up in the whole missing my
mom during Christmas. I'm okay now. You don't have to worry about me."
Danny shot him a
kind smile. He knew Jimmy was lying, trying to blow off his near breakdown.
“Don’t worry about it. You were just overwhelmed, that’s all. I understand.”
"Yeah,"
said Jimmy as he turned back to the game. “Okay, man, let’s play some more Omalion.”
Danny didn’t feel
like playing, but he did so for Jimmy. He put out his cigarette and sat down
next to Jimmy and started playing again.
“Oh, before I
forget, we need to go to the store later,” Danny said, “We’re running low on
groceries. Wanna come?”
“Umm.. who’s
going to the store?” Jimmy asked, while trying to maintain his focus on the
game.
Danny shot him a
sly sideways glance. “Well, I figure two teenaged boys shopping for groceries
might look a little funny. Would you mind going with your mom?”
Jimmy laughed.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. No, I don’t mind. I’ll tag along with you, ‘Mom’!”
"Well in
that case," said Jimmy, as he pulled himself off the carpet, "I think
I'll get dressed. "I don't want to embarrass my son by going out like
this."
"Take your
time," said Danny. "I want to finish this game."
"Okay,"
said Danny as he made his way up the stairs to Olivia's bedroom.
Once inside, he
closed the door and removed Olivia's fuzzy pink bathrobe and hung it neatly in
its place on the hook behind the bathroom door. Much better, he thought as he
felt the weight of the breast forms as they hung from his smooth chest. He
slipped his legs through a pair of Olivia's silk panties, clasped her bra
behind his back and wiggled into one of her slips.
He lit a
cigarette from his last pack of Benson & Hedges and made a beeline to
Olivia's closet. As he rummaged through Olivia's clothes, he paused to
consider the cigarette smoldering between his lips and the feeling of the smoke
as it filtered through his lungs. It was a nice feeling. He enjoyed it. But
he remembered the look on Jimmy's face when he'd been seen smoking out of
character. He mentally put cigarettes on the list with Norman along with the
other things he would need to give up once he went back to being him self.
Maybe this should be his last pack.
*****
“What about
this?” Jimmy asked, holding up a box of frozen burritos.
Danny wrinkled
his nose in disgust. “Ugh, frozen burritos? Let’s get something a little
healthier. If I’m going to cook for you, it’s going to be something decent.”
Jimmy shrugged
and put the box back in the freezer case, exchanging them for a box of frozen
broccoli. "Speaking of healthier, aren't you almost out of
cigarettes?"
Danny sighed and
pouted. "I am sweetheart. But Mommy is trying to quit."
"Oh
yeah," snickered Jimmy as he picked up a carton of Benson & Hedges
from the display case. "Is Mommy trying to quit? Or is Danny trying to
quit?"
"Both of us
are," said Danny sullenly.
"I
see," said Jimmy as he reached for a box of Nicorette gum. "Then
you'll need these too," he said as put them both in the shopping cart.
"But don't be too hard on your self if you can't do it. I'll
understand."
"Thank
you," said Danny is his most feminine voice. "But I'll give it my
best shot."
"I know you
will," said Jimmy. "But don't worry about it until your mom gets
back."
As they went
through the check out, Jimmy helped bag the groceries. Danny paid with Olivia’s
check card and they walked out to the car. They were putting the groceries in
the back of the Lexus when Danny spotted Ashley Bane. She was lurking around a
corner of the store, wearing a cashier’s smock and smoking a cigarette. Jimmy
noticed her too.
“Hey, isn’t that
Ashley Bane?” Jimmy asked. “I didn’t know she worked here.”
“Yeah, I think
that’s her,” Danny replied dismissively, trying not to stare. He had a crush
on her like all the other guys in their school, but it definitely wouldn’t do
for a middle-aged woman – or someone who appeared to be one – to gawk at a
teenaged girl.
Jimmy had no such
restrictions, and looked longingly over at her. “Man, I’ve always wanted to
talk to her,” he said, “But I never knew how.”
Danny shrugged,
remembering all the times when he had wanted to talk to her himself. “Why don’t
you just walk up and say hi?” he said absently as he put another bag into the
car. “I’m sure she won’t bite.”
Before Danny knew
it, Jimmy was walking toward Ashley. He hadn’t really expected his friend to do
it; it was just hollow dare. Nevertheless, there he went. Not wanting to
embarrass him, Danny finished putting away the groceries then sat behind the
driver’s seat. He lit a cigarette to pass the time.
From the car,
Danny watched Jimmy’s awkward introduction and fumbling conversation. Yet
somehow, Ashley wasn’t put off by it. She talked to Jimmy for several minutes.
Danny impatiently waited for Jimmy to return, puffing on his cigarette in
frustration. He watched Ashley subtly flirting with her cigarette, tossing her
hair and laughing at Jimmy’s apparent jokes. He felt a little irritated at the
exchange. Was it because Jimmy was flirting with the girl of his dreams, or was
it because trampy little Ashley wasn’t good enough for Olivia’s son?
Danny grew more
impatient as the two teens continued their conversation with no end in sight.
What's this, he thought? She's going to smoke another cigarette. Good lord,
how long is this girl’s break, Danny wondered? He lit a cigarette for himself
and got out of the car.
Jimmy turned
toward the sound of the car door closing. Danny ignored his friend's visual
plea for more time as he walked up wearing his best disapproving motherly look.
He stopped in front of them and took an authoritative drag from his cigarette
and exhaled while looking at the cigarette burning between young Ashley's
fingers with disdain. “Jimmy, honey, who’s your friend?” he asked sternly.
Ashley guiltily hid her cigarette behind her back, as if she were a small child
who’d been caught doing something very naughty. Danny scowled at her. Who was
she kidding? Everybody in school knew Ashley Bane was a smoker.
But then again,
she didn’t know “Mrs. Wilson” went to her school.
“Uh Mom. This is
Ashley,” Jimmy said awkwardly, irked at Danny for ruining the moment.
“Hello Ashley,”
Danny said, feigning pleasantry.
“Um, hi Mrs,
Wilson,” Ashley said.
"Come on
honey," said Danny. Time to go,” he said, gently guiding Jimmy back to the
car. Not wanting to make a scene with his “mother” in front of Ashley, Jimmy
walked alongside him.
“Uh, nice to meet
you, Mrs. Wilson,” Ashley called out uncertainly to their backs as they walked
away.
“You too, dear,”
Danny said dismissively over his shoulder.
“Dude, what the
fuck was that all about?” Jimmy asked angrily as they drove home. “I was about
to score her number!”
“What do you see
in her?” Danny asked as he lit a cigarette and cracked the window. “She’s way
too wild for you. For heaven’s sake, Jimmy! You’ve seen the boys she goes out
with. And she smokes!”
“So do you!”
“But she’s only
sixteen!”
“And you’re only
fifteen – DANNY! And you smoke three packs a day- just like your mom!"
Danny shook his
head and stared at the road in front of them. “Yeah, but she smokes pot, too. I
don’t think you should be spending time with someone like that.”
“Yeah, well don’t
worry about it,” Jimmy grumbled, “She thinks I’m a dork ass momma’s boy now.
I’ll never get her number.”
Danny nodded and
drew pensively from his cigarette. He didn’t mean to sabotage Jimmy’s chances
with Ashley, it just happened. But had he done it to protect Jimmy, or had he
done it to give himself a chance with her when he went back to being himself
again?
As he pulled up
the driveway, he realized he'd used Olivia's motherly voice the entire time he
had chastised Jimmy.
Danny stayed in
disguise the rest of the day. He felt guilty for messing up Jimmy’s chances
with Ashley, even though he didn’t approve of them potentially dating. And he
could definitely understand Jimmy's anger. He had embarrassed his friend.
What a nightmare, he thought. I'd hate it like hell if my mom did that to me.
But he had done it to Jimmy and the damage was done. Probably for the best, he
thought.
While Jimmy
vented his anger on the PlayStation, Danny thumbed through the latest issue of Ladies
Home Journal. At least he'd have something in common with his mom after
she got back from Colorado. He was thinking of what life would be like with
his mom and Ted when the phone rang.
Jimmy answered it
on the third ring.
“It’s Ted,”
Jimmy said with an inquisitive look.
Danny took the phone, removed an
earring, and put the phone to his ear. “Hey Ted! Is anything wrong?” he asked
in his own voice, worried about his mother.
“Nothing's
wrong,” Ted said reassuringly.
“Okay,” Danny replied,
relieved. “So what’s up?”
“Well kiddo, your
mom and I have got this really nice lodge room for a whole other week. The
office in Denver wants to have another meeting with me in a couple of days, so
they’re paying for us to stay!”
“Wow, that sounds
really cool, Ted. Congratulations!”
“Thanks. But
that’s why I’m calling. You see your mom and I feel terrible about her not
being able to get back in time for Christmas. And I really feel bad about it;
since it’s my fault I talked her into coming up here. I want to make it up to
you. Let me buy you a plane ticket up here so you can spend the week with us.
You'll love the skiing. The snow's great. It's all powder!"
Danny paused for
a moment. He understood Ted was trying to reach out to him, and he didn’t want
to disappoint him. But then again, Jimmy was in a really vulnerable position
right now, and he didn’t want to leave him.
“Gee, um… Thanks
a lot, Ted. But I’d kind of like to stay here, if that’s cool. Jimmy got this
awesome game for Christmas and we’ve been playing it non-stop.”
“Oh.. Okay.
That’s cool,” Ted replied, sounding rather disappointed. “One sec, Danny, your
mom wants to talk to you.”
There was a pause
on the line as Ted handed over the phone, but Danny heard Ted say a faint “I
told you that kid hates me.” Danny felt terrible. He knew that from that moment
on things would always be awkward between them.
“Hi sweetie,”
Carol said as she picked up the phone.
“Hey mom.”
“You don’t want
to come up here with us?”
Danny sighed. “Oh
come on, mom. It’s not like that. I’m just having a lot of fun here with Jimmy
and his mom.”
“You’d rather
spend Christmastime with someone else’s mom?” Carol said, intentionally
sounding hurt.
“Of course not,
Mom! I just don’t want to get in the way of you and Ted.”
“But honey, we’d
both love to see you. And I think it would be a great way for you and Ted to
get to know each other better.”
“Yeah, I know,
Mom. It’s just…”
“What?”
“Mom, I can’t
explain. Look, Mrs. Wilson wants to talk to you, okay?”
Danny held the
phone away from him and cleared his throat. He looked at himself in the mirror,
reassuring himself of his disguise. His mom wouldn’t know who he was. He pulled
the receiver back to his painted lips.
“Hello, Carol?
It’s Olivia,” he said pleasantly in his adult female voice.
“Hi Olivia. It’s
good to talk to you again. Do me a favor and talk some sense into my son? We've
invited him to spend the week with us in Aspen and he won't come. He'd have so
much fun here and I miss him terribly. You understand. Don't you?"
Danny lit a
cigarette and exhaled. “Well, to be honest, Carol, I think he’s having much
more fun here with my Jimmy. You know how those two are. They’re like
brothers. They do everything together.”
Carol paused, not
expecting that for an answer. “Yeah, but he’s been a burden on you for far too
long. I’m sure you’re ready to have your house back.”
“Oh no, not at
all! Danny’s been an absolute doll! He’s been so much help around here. He’s
even pitched in with the cooking and cleaning. He’s a wonderful guest!”
“Really? Danny? I
can't believe we're talking about the same boy. I can’t get him to lift a
finger around my house!”
Danny laughed
gently, even though he knew his mom was right. “Well, I’ve had my own troubles
with Jimmy. But when he’s around Danny, they are both so well behaved.”
“Okay, Olivia. If
you’re sure he’s no bother, he can stay. I just wish he’d reconsider. I’m sure
he’d love it up here.”
Danny took
another drag on his cigarette and exhaled. “Well, are you sure you want him up
there? After all, you’ve only got one room, right? Danny might get in the way
of your alone time.”
Danny heard his
mother light a cigarette and exhale. “I hadn’t thought of that. I was just so
anxious to see him.”
“I know, hon. But
don’t worry. I'm taking good care of him. He’s looking forward to having
another Christmas Day when you get back!”
“Okay. Thanks for
being such a good friend for me, Olivia. I owe you a nice lunch or something
when we get back!”
“I look forward
to it, sweetie. Goodbye!”
Danny hung up the
phone and walked back into the living room.
“What was that
all about?” Jimmy asked, not looking up from his video game.
Danny sat down on
the couch. “My mom wants me to fly up to Aspen and spend the rest of the week
with her and Ted,” he said in his own voice.
Jimmy looked up,
a brief flash of panic in his eyes. “Oh really? Did you say yes?”
Danny parted his
painted lips in a gentle smile. “Of course not. I’m staying right here with
you. I promised I would, remember?”
Jimmy forged a
scowl over his expression of relief. “You're such a dumb ass. You should go.
I’d love to be snowboarding right about now!”
“Jimmy, please
watch your language,” Danny admonished, switching back to his Olivia voice. He
got up from the couch. “I’ll fix us something for dinner. Are you hungry?”
“Sure,” Jimmy
replied absently.
As Danny walked
into the kitchen, his heels clicking against the linoleum, Jimmy’s voice
stopped him.
“Hey… I’m glad
you’re staying.” Jimmy said, still focused on the video game.
“Me too, honey,”
Danny said with a smile.
*****
The next couple
of days passed without incident and they settled comfortably into their roles
as mother and son. Jimmy forgave Danny for what became known as the ABI, or the
Ashley Bane incident. He was just glad to have his "mom" around for
a few more days.
Norman hadn’t
visited since Christmas Eve. He was busy with his parents over the holidays,
but he called at least once a day to talk to “Olivia”. Jimmy noticed just how
much happier Danny seemed after talking to him, but never mentioned it. He knew
that breaking up with Norman was weighing in the back of his friend’s mind, but
he wasn’t ready to do it until after New Year’s.
*****
The day before
New Year’s Eve, the doorbell rang and Danny opened it to find Brenda standing
on the porch. She held a garment bag slung over her shoulder.
“Oh hi Brenda,”
Danny said, surprised but pleased. "What are you doing here?”
“I was just in
the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by and check on you. Can I come in?”
Danny stepped
back and gestured her inside. “Of course, please come in.”
“Thanks, Olivia,”
Brenda replied. She walked in and kissed Danny on the cheek. She stepped back
and appraised him. He had gotten so good at putting on his makeup. And even in
his causal mode of dress – sweatshirt, jeans and sneakers – he still wore his
body padding to give him a female shape. “You look fabulous, sweetie.”
“Thanks," he
said as he guided her into the living room. “Can I get you something to drink?
Maybe some wine?”
“That sounds
wonderful! I'll take a glass of white if you have it."
Danny slipped off
to the kitchen and fixed them both a glass of Riesling. He returned with the
drinks and sat down next to her on the couch. Brenda took the wine with a
gentle smile and pulled a cigarette from her purse.
“Mind if I smoke?”
she asked.
Danny shook his
head. “No, not at all. In fact, I’ll join you.” He reached for the case on the
coffee table.
“That’s very
nice,” Brenda said, indicating the case. “And expensive too," she noted.
"Where’d you get it?”
Danny blushed.
“Norman gave it to me for Christmas.”
"I guess
this means he doesn't mind your smoking."
Danny blushed
again as he lit a cigarette and told Brenda the embarrassing story of how he
accidentally blew smoke in Norman's mouth when they kissed on Christmas Eve.
Brenda slapped
her knee and laughed. "Don't feel bad honey. You're not the first girl
that's happened too. So how's it going with him? Are you two getting
along?" she asked as she inhaled the smoke from her More.
“Things are going
great. He's taking me out tomorrow night for New Year’s Eve, and I’m really
looking forward to it, but…”
“But?”
Danny frowned.
“But I know I can’t keep seeing him, and I can’t keep being Olivia. And I know
you told me to follow my heart, but I just can’t keep lying to him.”
Brenda raised her
eyebrows. “Honey, everyone lies a little.”
“Maybe so. But
this is a bit much. Don't you think?”
“I just want you
to do whatever makes you happy. And if he truly loves you, he’ll understand why
you’re doing all this.”
Danny took an
uncomfortable drag on his cigarette, to give him a pause before replying. “I
didn’t say anything about love, Brenda. I have no idea how he feels about me.
And I never said I loved him either. I have feelings- sure. But they're
complicated.”
“Fair enough. But
you do enjoy being with him, don't you?"
“I think I’ve
told you this before.”
“You did but I'm
ignoring that fact. So tell me, does pretending to be Jimmy’s mother make you
happy?”
Danny smiled. He
couldn’t lie. “Yes, it does. But you don’t understand. He needs me right now.
He’s a really troubled kid.”
“But you’re
thinking of giving up being Olivia anyway?”
“Maybe. I just
want to get through tomorrow night.”
Brenda grinned,
and put out her cigarette. “Oh yes! Tomorrow night. That's what brings me
here."
She picked up the
garment bag and unzipped it. She pulled out a beautiful, shimmering black silk
cocktail dress with spaghetti straps and a matching satin jacket.
“I thought you
could use this for your date tomorrow night. It’s a little snug on me, and I
think it’ll fit you better.”
Danny touched the
soft fabric with his hands, while admiring the dress. “Oh my god! Brenda, it’s
lovely! Thank you!”
“You’re welcome,
honey. How about we go upstairs and find a pair of shoes to go with it?”
Danny led her
upstairs to Olivia's closet. Brenda looked over Olivia’s clothes
appreciatively. “Nice wardrobe. You’re a lucky young man!”
Danny chuckled,
then held up a pair of black satin pumps with a 3-inch heel. “What about
these?”
Brenda held up
the shoes to the dress and nodded. “Perfect! Honey, with the right hose and
jewelry- with this outfit, you’ll be even more of a knockout than you already
are!”
She looked at
Danny critically, and then reached out to feel the hair of Danny’s wig. “Oh
honey, we’ve really got to do something about this wig!”
"What's
wrong with it," asked Danny? "I think it's nice."
"Oh it is
sweetheart. It's beautiful. Its just that its the same old same old...you
know? We can't have you looking so canned. A real woman would change her hair
for such a big date. Why should you be any different? And it just so happens
that I brought along a pair of scissors. Nothing much. Just a little. Have a
seat and let me take a few clips to it."
Danny took a seat
and smoked another cigarette while Brenda did her thing.
"So are you
excited about tomorrow night," asked Brenda?
"Well yeah,
I guess so. It should be fun. I don't know where he's taking me, but it's got
to be better than hanging out with my mom watching the big peach drop on
TV."
"That's not
what I'm talking about and you know it," said Brenda as she pulled a
strand of hair through her fingers and snipped about an inch from it.
"How do you really feel?"
"I don't
know. I mean how would you feel if you were me? I'm scared and I'm sad. I
like him but not like you think I do. He's a great guy and if I was a real
girl, well... I'm sure things would be different."
"Fair
enough," said Brenda. "Lets start with sad. What about tomorrow
night makes you sad?"
"I'm sad
because it's all coming to an end. I'm thinking tomorrow night is going to be
our last date."
"Oh really?
So you're planning on breaking up with him?"
"Well yeah.
I have to. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but you know, I guess after
tomorrow night we just won't go out any more."
"He loves
you Danny. He's not going to give up that easily. He'll look for you. He
knows where you live...or at least where you're supposed to live. Do you think
Jimmy is going to be able to cover for you until you both graduate?"
"He did okay
before all this. He can do it again."
"That was
before you started dating his teacher."
"So what am
I going to do?"
"It's up to
you. It's your choice. You're going to have to be tough with him if you want
to make a clean break. Get nasty. Be mean. Tell him you're in love with
someone else. Just be firm. Don't give him any reason to believe he has a
chance with you."
"Will that
work?"
Brenda giggled.
"Of course not sweetie. That man is in love with you. He won't let go
without a fight. A lot of people's lives will be ruined because of this little
prank of yours and Jimmy's. We're talking about you, and Jimmy, and Norman,
and your mother. What about Norman's parents? Are they still alive?"
Danny nodded.
"He wants me to meet them."
"Then put
them on the list too. And put me there for that matter. Can you imagine what
this will do to my shop's reputation when the secret gets out?"
"Then what
am I supposed to do?"
"My advice
hasn't changed. I still think you should follow your heart?"
"You keep
saying that like it's an easy thing. It's not like I can trash my old life,
snap my fingers and suddenly become a woman."
"I never
said it would be easy."
"If you knew
it was going to end like this, then why didn't you stop me before it got to
this point?"
"I tried, but
you wouldn't listen."
"Then why
didn't you try harder?"
"Because I
thought you'd be a hundred times happier as a woman than you could ever be as a
man. That's why I didn't try harder. But that's me and this is about you.
Tell me what scares you about tomorrow night."
"I'm afraid
he's going to want to do more than just kiss. What if he expects me to give
him a hand job?"
Brenda laughed.
"Oh sweetie. He expects more than a hand job! He expected that on your
third date."
Brenda's laughter
drained the color from Danny's face. "So what are you saying? You think
he expects a blow job?"
"I'm sure he
expects a lot more than that, but at this point, I think that's all you're
capable of offering him."
Danny's voice
cracked. "I can't do that Brenda. I can't suck another guy's dick. I'm
not gay."
"What are
you saying Danny? I'm not gay and I've given men oral sex. I'm sure your
mother has to."
"But that's
different! You're a woman."
"That's okay
sweetie. Norman thinks you're a woman too. He'll never know the difference.
Trust me."
"But I'll
know the difference. He thinks I'm a woman but I know I'm a guy. Don't you
see? It's not the same thing."
Brenda smiled,
"You're right. It's not the same thing, but it could be. Don't you
understand Danny? Tomorrow night is your big chance to experience one of the
best parts of being a woman! Think about it Danny. You've enjoyed everything
else about being a woman. Why wouldn't you enjoy this?"
He groaned and
wiped a tear from his eye. "I don't know. Maybe because it's
gross!"
"Danny.
There's nothing gross about a woman making a man feel good. It's one of the
most rewarding feelings in the world. Think about it. How do you feel after
you make Jimmy breakfast or after you clean his room or wash his clothes?"
"I feel
good," sniffed Danny.
"Exactly"
said Brenda! "And how do you feel when Norman likes the way you're
dressed or when you laugh at his silly jokes."
"I feel
good?"
"Of course
you do," said Brenda. "Don't you see? You're a natural at making men
feel good. You're going to make a wonderful wife for some lucky man."
"Me? As
somebody's wife?"
Brenda smiled and
nodded. "Yes dear. Wouldn't you like that?"
"I don't
know Brenda. I'm so confused. I don't know what I want. You make it sound so
good and right, but I'm not sure I believe it. It just seems so weird and
gross."
"That's why
tomorrow night is so important. That's why you have to follow you're
heart."
"You keep
saying that and I don't know what my heart is telling me."
"And you
won't until you do this thing."
"And after I
do it, you're saying I'll know?"
"The heart
never lies Danny."
*****
Brenda's parting
words echoed in Danny's ears as he drove across town to Norman's apartment. It
was Danny's idea to meet there. If Brenda were right about Norman expecting
more than just a kiss, he'd rather duel it out at Norman's. The thought of
Jimmy walking in and discovering him with his head lodged between the teacher's
legs was too much to bear. And if he tried and couldn't go through with it,
leaving Norman's would be easier than getting Norman to leave Jimmy's.
He pulled the car
into a vacant slot and crushed out his cigarette in the ashtray. "Oh
great," he said as he wiped at the ashes that had fallen on Brenda's black
cocktail dress. The ashes wiped off easily. She was just nervous. That's
all. She took a deep breath and unbuckled her seat belt.
Norman answered
the door and stepped back in shocked admiration. “Oh Olivia, you look
stunning!”
“Thanks honey.
You don't look so bad your self," he said as he stepped inside and kissed
Norman quickly but affectionately on the lips.
Norman took
Danny's coat and offered to mix "her" a drink.
"Something
stiff," said Danny.
"The night's
still early. How about a Scotch? Is that stiff enough? I'll see if I can do
better later on."