Zyprexa

Written by: slimv

 

Darrel sat at the kitchen table watching his mom chain-smoke as she held the phone nervously to her ear.  He knew she talking to his father.  His calls always made her nervous.

Lois and Rick Davenport divorced three years earlier.  Their divorce had been nasty and Darrel had been caught in the middle.  Each had accused the other of being unfit parents but his mother had been awarded full custody of Darrel.

Lois held her finger to her lips and stared at her son with a frightful look as she held the phone to her ear.

"Darrel isn't home," she said into the phone.  "He went to his friend's house."

That was the way it usually went when his father called.  It upset his mother greatly whenever he talked to his Dad and for good reason.  After the divorce, there had been a trial.  Rick Davenport had been convicted of sexually molesting Darrel and had spent two years in prison.

During the divorce, Lois accused Rick of sexually molesting their son and filed charges against him.  Darrel was called to testify at his father's trial.  In truth, he didn't remember his father ever touching him inappropriately.  But he had blocked it from his memory; at least that's what his mother, her lawyer and the psychologist told him.

Rick vehemently denied the charges but justice was served and Darrel watched as he was led away in shackles.  After being paroled, Rick retained a new lawyer to appeal his case.  If the conviction were overturned, he would seek full custody of Darrel.

Lois Davenport loved her son more than life it self and would do anything to save him from his father.  Her ex-husband was a liar, a child molester, an ex-con, and a drug user.  Rick Davenport would deny those accusations to his grave, but Darrel's mother knew better.

Darrel and his mother lived in fear of his father.  It hadn't been so bad when he was in prison.  They had been safe while he had been locked away.  But even then, his father had spies working for him and watching them.  To Darrel they seemed innocuous.  He was always surprised at how easily his mother unmasked them.  The postman had been one such spy.  The guy had been delivering their mail for years, but Lois rooted him out.  A well-placed call to the postal authorities convinced them to change the carrier's route.

Unfortunately, the mailman wasn't his father's only spy.  Spies were everywhere.  One careless move on Darrel's part could result in his being kidnapped and delivered to his father.  It had gotten worse since his father's release from prison.  The last straw arrived when Lois discovered her ex-husband had enlisted the help of the Girl Scouts.  She had looked innocent enough when she came to the door with her boxes of cookies.  She had fooled Darrel completely, but Lois saw through the girl's guise and shooed her away.  It had been a close call.

Lois hung up the phone without the courtesy of a goodbye.  She sat down at the table and sobbed into her hands.  Darrel put his arm around her.  She rose up and embraced him.

"We have to get out of her here Honey.  He's coming for us."

He had expected this.  They had talked about it.  They were no longer safe.  The restraining order against his father was useless.  It couldn't protect them from Rick Davenport or his spies.

"We have to leave here Honey.  We have to move away.  We have to change ourselves so no one will ever recognize us.  We have to start our new lives."

"I know," said Darrel, as he rubbed his mother's shoulders.

This wasn't a spur of the moment response to her ex-husband.  Lois had been planning their escape for years.  She had enlisted the help of a lawyer who had helped her prepare new identities for her and Darrel.  They had visited cities and towns, looking for just the right landscape to blend in with.  They had found such a place in Georgia in a town called Alpharetta.

"It will be OK," she said.  "I know I'm asking a lot of you."

Darrel shook his head.  It was true.  She was asking a lot.  But he knew she wouldn't ask unless she thought it was absolutely necessary.  Darrel had made a good life for himself in Birmingham. He had friends.  He even had a girlfriend.  And now his mother was asking him to leave it all behind.  He had even made the football team which was no small accomplishment for a boy of his small size.  The idea of starting over appalled him and brought a tear to his eye.

"What's wrong Honey?  Are you scared?"

"I'm not scared," said Darryl as he wiped the moisture from his eye.  "I just don't think it will work."

"It has to work Honey.  Our lives depend on it.  And it will work.  I've thought it all out."

"But why do I have to be a girl?"

"We've talked about this before sweetheart.  If we could just move away and put this all behind us then I'd do it in a heartbeat.  I don't want to do this anymore than you do.  But you're father is a very powerful man and he has people all over the world working for him, watching us and reporting every move we make.  Let them look for Darryl Davenport!  They won't find him.  Darryl is dead!  Long live Susan!" 

Susan Montgomery was the name his mother had picked for him.  For her self, she had chosen the name Hannah.  Like Darryl, Susan was 15, but that was where any similarities between the two teens ended.  Susan Montgomery was not the kind of girl Darryl would like.  He knew, because he had stood by helplessly as his mother created her profile.

"What's my name," asked Lois?

"Hannah.  Hannah Montgomery."

"Very good," said his mother.  "And your name?"

He winced as he formed the name with his lips.  "Susan Montgomery."

"We're going to have so much fun Honey.  You'll see.  I know it's scary, us hiding from your father and all, but still, isn't it exciting?  You're going to love being my daughter.  I'm certainly glad I had the foresight to pierce your ears and let your hair grow long.  That will make things much easier.  The first thing we have to do is to bleach our hair.  I've always heard blondes have more fun and now we'll find out together!  Come on Susan.  Lets get a move on.  We've got lots to do and not much time to do it.  Oh.  I almost forgot.  You go to the bathroom and I'll be there in a minute.  I need to call Dr. Avery and tell him we're on for tomorrow."

Susan winced.  Dr. Avery was the plastic surgeon his mother had consulted about the breast implants.

"Mom, about those breast implants.  I was thinking maybe I could just stuff one of your old bras or something like that."

Hannah raised her eyebrow in an accusatory fashion and Susan dropped the subject.

Hannah made her phone call and joined Susan in the bathroom with a bottle of Clairol Nice N Easy.  She ran the water and tested the temperature with her hand.  Although she'd never told him, she had another reason for wanting to color his hair.  As a brunette, the little lice animals that lived on his head were so easy to see.  At least they were to her.  She'd tried everything to kill the critters but they were so resistant.  She had been so confident that broadcast signals from the TV would kill them.  She had made him stand next to that television for hours.  She had never told him about the lice animals of course.  That would have only upset him.  Instead, she told him that standing next to the TV while Benny Hinn was preaching would cleanse his soul.  Bless him.  He was so innocent and gullible.  But that was in the past.  His sweetness and innocence would do him no good in his life as a girl.  Her new daughter needed to be smart, savvy and worldly, like her, if she was going to survive in the new world she was creating for them.

How can he stand it, she wondered as the little lice animals wriggled around as she lathered his scalp.  As she had suspected, the Nice N Easy wasn't nice and easy on lice.  They fell harmlessly away from Susan's head on their way to the sea via the drain in her sink.

"Die maggot die," yelled Hannah!

"What mom?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking of some movie I saw on TV last night."

*****

After dinner, the two blondes sat in the kitchen with their new identity documentations strewn out on the table.  Hannah had a cigarette burning in the ashtray and was about to light another when Susan brought it to her attention.

"Silly me," said Susan.  "I forgot.  Well no sense wasting it.  Why don't you finish it for me Honey," she said as she picked up the lit cigarette from the ashtray.

He waved his mother off and rejected her offer.  He had never smoked a cigarette in his life and wasn't about to start now.

She came at him again with her raised eyebrow and accusatory look.  The smoldering cigarette beckoned him from her fingers.  She was making it clear that she wouldn't take no for an answer.

There had been a time not so very long ago that Lois would have kicked her self for even thinking of offering her son a cigarette.  The very idea had been unthinkable, but times had changed.  She was no longer Lois and the pretty young blonde sitting beside her was no longer her son.

"Take it," said Hanna.  "Susan smokes."

Susan reluctantly removed the cigarette from his mother's fingers and held it carefully between his own.  "Why does she have to smoke Mom?  Isn't it enough that I'm pretending to be a girl?  For crying out loud!  I'm going to the doctor tomorrow and he's going to give me tits!  Why do I have to smoke too?"

"You read the profile Honey.  Susan Montgomery is a smoker.  She's 15 and has smoked since she was 12.  If you don't believe it you can read it again," she said as she shoved a couple of typewritten stapled pages at him.

  Susan pushed the papers back.  "I know what the profile says Mom.  But you wrote it.  You can change it, can't you?  Don't I have any say in what I'm supposed to be like?"

Hannah rolled her eyes.  "As if you'd know anything about what a teenage girl is supposed to be like.  I love you Honey, but if I left it up to you, Susan would be a pony-tailed tomboy.  You'll get used to it after a while."

"Get used to what?  Being a girl or smoking?"

"Both," giggled Hannah.  "Go ahead and take a small puff.  It's not going to kill you."

"That's not what they say in health class."

"They don't know about your father in health class.  Between the two of them, I'd say smoking is the lesser of two evils."

Susan brought the cigarette to his lips the way he'd seen her mother do.  The white filter held the stains of his mother's lipstick and it grossed him out.  He didn't even like drinking a can of Coke after her because of the lipstick.  The end of the cigarette glowed bright as he pulled gently on the filter.  He felt the smoke fill his mouth.  The noxious vapors burned his tongue and the side stream smoke stung his eyes.  He expelled the smoke without inhaling.

"How was that," he asked?

"You looked as if your face was on fire.  Try it again, but inhale this time.  You know.  Breath in.  Just don't take too big a breath.  You'll probably cough but don't let that bother you.  It just takes a little practice- that's all."

Susan returned the cigarette to his lips and gave it another shot.  He didn't wait for his mouth to fill.  He pulled the cigarette away at the first hint of smoke against his tongue.  He opened his mouth and breathed in.  The smoke mixed with air as it traveled down his windpipe to his waiting lungs and returned in the form of a cough.

"Oh God Mom!  This is awful!  How can you do this to your self?"

Hannah smiled at her daughter as she exhaled a thick cloud of smoke from her lungs.  "It's all part of being a woman dear.  It's a small price to pay for turning a man's head.  After a couple days, when you're used to it, you're going to be asking your self how you ever lived without them.'

Susan extinguished his cigarette in the ashtray.  "That's great but you're forgetting something.  I'm not really a woman.  I don't want to turn men's heads."

"Touché," said Hannah.  "I guess I'm all caught up in the idea of finally having a daughter or at least pretending like I do.  I know you're really a boy Honey.  But I don't want anyone else to know.  Our safety depends on how well you can pull off being Susan.  So humor me a bit.  Take this pack and lighter and keep practicing."

Susan reluctantly took the cigarettes from his mom and got up from the table.

"Where are you going Honey?"

"I'm going to my room.  I'd like to spend my last night as a guy thinking about the way my life used to be."

"OK.  Take an ashtray from the living room on your way up.  You might as well practice your smoking while your reminiscing.  And take your profile sheets too.  You can never know your self too well," she said with a smile.

Darrel had been the perfect son and Susan could be a good daughter, but that wouldn't do at all.  Rick was out there somewhere and would stop at nothing to get his son back.  Hannah knew this.  But would he stop at nothing to get his daughter back?  She knew he would and that was why it wouldn't do for Susan to become her good daughter.

God help them if Rick ever found them, but if he did, he wouldn't find a good son nor would he find a good daughter.  He would find Susan!  And she would be such a dirty slut that he would be embarrassed to even think of her as his child.

She had hoped Darrel would go along willingly with her plan but his reluctance was obvious.  He was fighting her.  He had reacted badly to the smoking.  Most teenage girls would have done back flips if their mothers had given them permission to smoke- but not Susan.  He was frail in build but still masculine in thought.

Hannah had seen this coming.  That's why she had only given her son a partial profile of Susan.  Dr. Avery had warned her that Darrel might try to resist.  But he had also given her an alternative solution called forced feminization.  Desperate times call for desperate measures, she thought as she lit another cigarette. 

*****

"So how are we feeling today Susan," asked Dr. Avery? 

"Like I don't want to be here."

"Yes, I understand.  But there is that nasty situation with your father, isn't there?"

Susan nodded.

"You know Susan, a lot of young men your age would give their right arm for the opportunity your mother is giving you.  I understand she gave you permission to smoke last night.  That must make you feel very grown up."

Susan rolled his eyes.  "I hate smoking.  I'm just doing it because I have to."

"I see," said Dr. Avery.  "Roll up your sleeve Susan.  I need to give you a small injection.  It will sting a bit, but only for a moment."

Susan rolled up his sleeve and winced as the needle pierced his skin.  Whatever it was worked fast, he thought as his muscles began to relax.

"That feels good doesn't it," asked Dr. Avery.

Susan couldn't answer him.  He heard the question and wanted to answer but it was impossible.

"Lay down now Susan and we'll begin the procedure.  You'll be awake during the surgery but you won't feel a thing."

*****

Imagine that, thought Susan as Dr. Avery made an incision in his chest.  I don't feel a thing.  I'm not even scared.  This is so weird!  Look at the size of that bag.  It's huge.  What's he doing it with it?  He's showing my mom and telling her that it's made of silicone.  I thought they quit making those.  Why did he tell Mom he's going to put that in me?  I thought I was just supposed to get little ones.  Oh my God Mom.  Those are too big.  Don't let him do it.  Why are you saying yes and nodding your head?

Susan could see Dr. Avery's face as he stood over him with the silicone sack.  He smiled as he told him that it wouldn't hurt a bit and to enjoy the show.  He felt painless pressure on his chest as Dr. Avery inserted the bag under the skin of his chest.

"Are you sure he's not in any pain," asked Hannah.

"Not all.  He doesn't feel a thing."

"But he can hear us?  He understands what we're saying?"

Susan listened as Dr. Avery explained the process as he made another incision.  This was a nightmare, he thought.  This can't be real.  I'll wake up and this never will have happened.

"This would have been easier if we had had more time to get your son's body used to the changes.  As we discussed, he'll need to be sedated, but during that time you can play the audio tapes for him."

"And you say the whole thing should take about three months," asked Hannah?  "And when it's over he'll be a real girl?"

"Oh yes Ms. Montgomery!  Susan will be an anatomically correct female.  Obviously she won't be able to give birth, but other than, she'll be female in every way."

"And these tapes?  You say they're like hypnosis.  They'll help Susan adjust to be promiscuous."

"Yes indeed Ms. Montgomery.  These tapes are the latest in forced feminization subliminal therapy.  After Susan recovers she'll be a full functioning slut.  I guarantee your ex-husband will want nothing to do with her."

"So Susan will like guys after she listens to these tapes?"

"Not quite Ms. Montgomery.  The subliminal tapes are not like brain washing.  Susan will be attracted to men, but she won't understand why.  Your son isn't gay, so he'll have some problems adjusting to his new urges.  But in time, he'll learn to become comfortable with them.  The manufacturer suggests listening to the tapes for two hours a day."

"What happens if I forget and leave the tape on for longer than that?"

"I honestly don't know."

"What about smoking?.  He gave me such a difficult time about it last night.  Will the tapes help with that too?"

"Absolutely.  There's an entire section devoted to the art of provocative smoking.  And of course, Susan will be hooked up to a nicotine drip during her recovery.  If you want her to be a light smoker, set the drip for a half a pack a day.  The maximum setting is five packs."

Susan was aghast as she listened to the conversation between Dr. Avery and his mother.  He wanted to scream.  He wanted to run, but all he could do was lay still as Dr. Avery worked on his body and talked to his mother.

He felt pressure in his groin area.

"You won't be needing this anymore," said Dr. Avery as he dangled a bloody thumb shaped appendage over his head.

*****

"Good morning Susan!  How are you feeling today?"

If only I could talk, thought Susan.  I'd tell her to stop this craziness before it goes too far.

"It's time to listen to your oral sex tape."

Although her new room lacked a clock, Susan knew his mother had been playing the tapes for more than two hours.  Not a waking moment went by when he didn't hear a voice telling him how much he wanted to smoke, or suck penises and swallow sperm.  He thought it funny at first.  Not really.  But he certainly didn't believe the tapes would work.  But they had worked.  All she could think of was how good a cigarette would taste as some young stud gave her new vagina a work out.  She'd finger herself right now if she could move her arms and hands.  What she wouldn't give for a little hot sperm.  She'd drink it out of a cup if she had to.  She was revolted by her urges but imprisoned by them as well.

"I've got good news for you Susan," said his mother!  "It's been three months.  You're all better now.  You can get up when the drugs wear off.  Isn't that wonderful?"

How could he have been so blinded to her insanity?  His father had been right all along.  His mother was crazy.  She had lost her mind.  Kidnappers weren't waiting outside their door.  The postman, the Girl Scout- they weren't spies.  There were no spies!

He cried softly as he listened to the tape.  The damage had been done, but surely it was reversible.  He couldn't see his feet over the tops of his breasts.  They were huge!  And had the doctor really removed his penis and given him a vagina?  Impossible!  None of this was real.  It wasn't happening.

*****

Hanna's ears perked at the sound of her son's voice.  She laid down her magazine and rushed upstairs to his new room.

"You're talking.  That's so wonderful Susan!"

"I still can't move."

"That's OK. Don't worry about that Honey.  Dr. Avery said you'd be up and around just as soon as the drugs wear off.  So how are you feeling?  Can I get you anything?"

"I want a cigarette Mom."

"Of course you do sweetie.  I guess that nicotine drip really works."

Hannah lit a cigarette and sat down beside her daughter's bed and held the filter to Susan's lips.

Susan attacked the cigarette with her lips.  She consumed it as if she was starving for the nicotine.  She despised her self for inhaling the toxins deep inside her lungs but she was powerless to stop her self.  Every now and then Hannah would pause to take a puff herself.

After wolfing down five cigarettes in a row, Susan asked her mom how many packs a day she'd set the drip for, praying she'd say a half a pack or a pack at most.

"I set it for the max baby doll.  You're a five a pack a day smoker now.  I had to do it, it was the only way to keep the spiders away."

Not that he needed any more convincing, but his mother was insane.  What kind of mother in her right mind purposely gets her child addicted to cigarettes?  He didn't ask about the spiders.  He'd spent the last three months watching her shoo imaginary vermin away.

*****

Susan felt well enough to sit up in bed the next morning.  The drugs had worn off completely.  Physically speaking, she felt rested and refreshed.  Emotionally speaking, she was a wreck.  For the first time she was able to feel her body with her hands.  Her hands!  Her nails had grown long and her mother had painted them! 

She needed a cigarette bad.  Her mother had left two packs on her nightstand but she was determined not to give in to her cravings.

She ran her hands across her breasts.  They were real.  This wasn't a dream.  She looked down for a glimpse of her penis, but the massive breasts blocked her view.  She closed her eyes and prayed as she reached down to feel between her legs.

It was gone and so was his scrotum.  All that was left was a slit but it felt so nice when she touched it.  She drew back her hand in disgust but returned it out of need.  She was angry.  She was upset.  But she was so fucking horny!

Susan was rubbing her clit and smoking like a fiend when her mom walked in.  She was embarrassed, but she couldn't stop, not when she was close to climaxing.

Hannah stood by her daughter's side and looked very pleased as her daughter smoked and rubbed furiously on her clitoris. 

"That's it dear.  Keep rubbing it like you're doing."

Without slowing down, she looked at her mom out of the corner of her eye.  The smoke from her cigarette drifted toward her face and made her eyes water, but still she kept at it.  At last she found her self on the verge.  She instinctively inhaled a deep puff of smoke and held it in her lungs as her body shook violently but oh so wonderfully.  Masturbation as a boy had never felt so good.

"I hate you," she said to her mother.

"But I love you," said Hannah.  "When you're ready to get up, I put some new clothes in your closet.   I hope you like them."

She waited until her mother left to get out of bed and check out her new surroundings.  They had moved to Alpharetta shortly after his surgery.  He hadn't seen the house but he had seen the room from his bed.  It was decorated with black light posters of bands she had hated as a boy but now didn't seem to mind.

She went to her closet.  It was filled with girl clothes as she suspected.  She stood naked in front of the closet and ran her hands across the clothes.  Some were nice but they held no interest for her.  Her eyes were drawn instead to the short skirts and halter-tops.  She put them on and grudgingly admired her slutty reflection in the mirror.

She was about to grab her cigarettes and go down stairs when she noticed the shoes in her closet and then looked down at her bare feet.  She passed over the sandals in favor of the three-inch heels.  Much better, she thought.

Damn!  These things were hard to walk in.  Susan grabbed the handrails as she made her way down the stairs.  Her mother greeted her in the kitchen.  She was sipping coffee and smoking a cigarette.

"I hope you're not planning on going out looking like that young lady!" said Hannah.

"What?  You bought them for me?"

"Your clothes are fine.  I'm talking about your face.  You didn't put any make-up on!"

She was so angry with her mother for everything she had done, but she was in no position to argue.  Her mother was right.  She couldn't go out looking like this.  For that matter, she couldn't stand to walk around the house without her make-up.

"Mine is in the bedroom sweetie.  Help your self."

Susan lit a cigarette and stormed out of the kitchen.  How could she think of make-up at a time like this?  How could she not?  Damn those tapes!

Although she had never put on make-up in her life, she knew exactly what to do.  She started with a base and added some blush.  She attacked her eyes with dark liner and blue shadow, going heavy on the mascara.  She was amazed and sickened by the fullness of her lips, a result of collagen injections.  Regardless, they needed lipstick and she applied it, pursing them afterwards.  She looked at her self in the mirror as she took a drag from her cigarette.  What?  Lipstick stains on the filter!  Just like mom.  Susan rolled her eyes as her anger welled.

Hannah was still in the kitchen, oblivious to her daughter's anger. 

"Oh yes," she said.  "That looks so much better dear.  You did such a wonderful job.  I'm just so impressed with those tapes.  They really do work.  I'll have to write the people who make them and tell them how well their product works.  Maybe I can do a testimonial for them.  Oh but no.  I couldn't do that.  One look at that testimonial and your father would find us.  We couldn't have that."

"Will you stop it with Dad," shouted Susan!  "Its not him.  It's you!  Dad never did anything wrong.  He never touched me.  It was you all along.  You were the crazy one.  He tried to tell me but I didn't believe him.  I couldn't... but now!  Oh my God Mom!  How could you do this to me?"

Hannah was aghast.  Why was Susan talking to her like this after all she had done?  It must be a reaction to the hormones, she thought.  It will pass in time.  She decided to take the high road and sooth her daughter's tension with a compliment.

"I can't get over how slutty you look darling.  It's as if you walked off the pages of Susan's profile.  It's amazing.  And those lips!  You're going to make some lucky boy very happy with those lips.  They were an after thought you know.  Dr. Avery was finishing up and he mentioned it and I just couldn't resist."

"Really you like them," asked Susan?  "I didn't even notice until I went to put on some lipstick.  They really are to die for aren't they?"

What in the hell was he saying?  Was he thanking his mom for turning him into a slut?

"You know dear, you are completely recovered.  I don't want to embarrass you or anything, but I do understand you have needs now."

"Needs?  What kind of needs?  What are you talking about?"

"Boys silly.  I'm talking about boys.  Don't you want to wrap those luscious lips around something bigger than a cigarette?"       

Cocks, dicks, and boy meat- the words from the tapes rushed to his head.  Her mother was talking about penises.  She thinks I want to give oral sex and get laid!

"I'm not gay!"

"Of course you're not Honey.  You're a slut."

"Well OK then, as long as you know I'm not gay.  Now that you mention it, I am feeling a little horny.  What did you have in mind?

"Glory Hole Heaven," said Hannah.  "It's a little place I found off the interstate.  I went there a couple of times while you were sleeping.  Its like an all you can eat buffet.  You'll love it!"

*****

Susan chain-smoked Marlboros in the passenger seat as Hannah described what she had planned for her daughter's new life.

"I was going to enroll you in public school," said Hannah, "But then it occurred to me that a public school wouldn't be equipped for a girl with your needs.  I was talking to a counselor about you.  Of course I didn't tell her that you used to be a boy, but I told her about how promiscuous you are and how much you smoke.  I even told her you had a drug problem."

"Mom.  How could you?  I've never taken drugs in my life."

"I know dear.  I just said it for the effect.  I wanted her to know what kind of slut I had for a daughter and I'm glad I did because she suggested a school called Open Campus.  You'll love it.  It's an alternative high school for troubled youth.  You'll even be allowed to smoke in the classroom.  It's perfect for you!

As horrid as the idea was, Susan knew her mother was right.  She couldn't go to public school.  She'd be more comfortable going to school with other sluts and misfits like her self.

"Oh, there it is," she said as she pointed at what looked to be an abandoned building with a bevy of cars in the parking lot.  "I was talking so much I almost drove past it."

The place was a sty.  It should be condemned, thought Susan.  The floor was sticky.  The place smelled of old smoke.  Men, who had been preoccupied with the video selection, quickly noticed the two women.  A bald headed man with glasses, called out from behind the cash register.

"Hannah, you're back," shouted the bald headed man!

"Hi Ned.  I brought my daughter with me this time.  Remember I was telling you about her?"

"Why yes I do.  She's every bit as beautiful as you described.  Say, do you want the same room as last time?"

"Oh yes.  I think that will do nicely," said Hannah.  She took Susan by the hand and led her to one of ten doors as the men in the store scurried to the adjacent two rooms.

An assortment of penises began poking through holes in the wall before Hannah had time to close the door and lock it behind them.

"What did I tell you Honey?  It's like a buffet!  Take your choice."

Susan was torn between her instinctual repulsion and her artificial libido, but in the end, her libido won out and she chose the longest of the bunch.

"Good choice," said Hannah.  "I remember him from last time.  You'll like him.  I think he makes a habit of taking baths."

Susan exhaled a lung full of smoke and took the stiff penis in her hand.  It flinched with the anticipation of her touch.  Here goes nothing, she thought as she took the anonymous flesh into her mouth.

***** 

Hannah and her daughter stumbled from the room three hours later with chapped lips and full bellies.  They were greeted with applause from men they had already satisfied and the curses from those who had been left waiting.

Susan lit a cigarette as soon as her ass hit the passenger seat.  The taste of the smoke mixed with semen residue.  She was disgusted with her self.

"Why so glum Honey?"

"Give me a break mom.  I just sucked off ten guys.  I'm such a slut!"

Hannah nodded knowingly.  "And you didn't even get kissed.  Hey look Susan!  There's a hitchhiker.  I know.  We'll pick him up and you can fuck him in the back seat on the way home."

Hannah stopped the car before Susan could protest.  What the hell, thought Susan?  She did have an itch.  She got out of the car and joined the guy in the back seat.

The guy introduced him self as Tommy.  He thanked Hannah for picking him up and said he'd appreciate a lift as far down the interstate as possible. 

"Mind if I smoke," asked Susan.  In truth she didn't care whether or not the guy minded.  She lit a cigarette.

Tommy was not what Susan had in mind for her first sexual partner.  But he'd do in a pinch.  She pulled down her pants and laid her head against the door handle.  "Don't just sit there," she said.  "I don't have all day."

Though the situation seemed odd, Tommy didn't question the busty slut.  He wiggled out of his pants and tore into the blonde slut.  He lasted 8 miles before shooting his wad.  He was still pulling up his trousers on the side of the road when Hanna sped back on to the highway.

"How was it," asked Hannah?

"Like a glass of luke warm water," said Susan.  "It didn't taste good but it quenched my thirst."

*****

Susan strolled down the hallways of her new school like she owned the place.  And why shouldn't she.  Her tits were twice as big as any other slut in the school.  She was way past being embarrassed.  Sucking guys off through a glory hole and having them applaud you has a way of destroying a girl's modesty.

As she sauntered down the hall with a purse strung over her shoulder and wielding a cigarette, guys stared with lust and girls leered with jealousy. 

"That's right," she said to one of them, who seemed to be protecting her boyfriend.  "There's a new queen slut in town and you're looking at her."  She then took a drag from her Marlboro and exhaled smoke in the boy's face as his girlfriend gasped in shock.

"You little bitch," said the girl.  "Don't do that to my boyfriend."

Susan took the girl's boyfriend by the hand and pulled him down the hall with her.

"Where is room 108," she asked?

"I'll show you," said the boy.

"Sounds good," said Susan.  "I like to be shown.  I tell you what.  I'll meet you at the back of gym during lunch and you can show me yours and I'll show you mine."

*****

Susan was exhausted when she got home from school.

"How was your first day," asked Hannah.

"Not bad.  I fucked one and sucked two."

"Don't worry about that dear.  You'll make more friends.  It's always hard being the new kid at school.  Just give it some time."

"That's not the point Mom!  What planet are you on?  I hate it when I act like this.  I hate being a slut.  And I wish I was a boy again."

"Don't talk like that Honey.  I went to a lot of trouble to keep you safe from your father.  The least you could is to pretend you're grateful."

"Grateful?  You think I should be grateful to you?"  She opened her purse and took out a pack of Marlboros.  They were empty.  "Shit!"

"What's wrong Honey?"

"I'm out of fucking cigarettes!  That's what's wrong."

"Well you do smoke a lot Honey."

"And whose fault is that?  You're the one who turned up the nicotine drip full blast.  Oh fuck it.  Just give me another pack of smokes."

"Sorry dear.  We're all out.  I smoked the last pack.  I would have bought some more but I was a little short on cash and you know how expensive they are.  Say, I have an idea.  Why don't you take my car and go down to the convenience store.  I'm sure the nice man who runs it would trade you a carton for a blow job."

"I'm a slut not a whore Mom!"

Hannah just shrugged her shoulders.

The cravings were too harsh and she wasn't going to satisfy them by bitching out her mom.  She rummaged through her mother's purse for the keys and slammed the door behind her.

*****

I got to do something about this, she thought as she rubbed her clit and smoked her cigarette.  This has to end.  I can’t go on like this.  She picked up the phone and dialed long distance information.

"I'd like the number for Richard Davenport in Birmingham Alabama."

She listened as a computer gave her the phone number and option to press one to have her call automatically connected.  Susan pushed one and held the phone to her ear.

A man's voice answered after three rings.

"Dad?"

"Darrel, is that you son?"

"Yes and no.  It's me, but I'm in trouble.  Mom's gone nuts."

Richard Davenport listened in disbelief as his son explained the series of events that had led to the call.

"This is some kind of joke.  You're kidding,  right?"

"No Dad.  It's true.  I wish it weren't but it is."

"OK, we'll deal with that when I get there.  Just hang tight and try to control your self.  I'll leave now and I'll be at your place sometime after midnight.  I think it would be best if you met me outside.  Oh and one more thing Darrel.  You know I never did those things your mother said I did?

I know Dad.  I'm sorry you had to go through all that."

After saying goodbye and hanging up, Susan packed a bag.  He hated having to fill it with girl clothes, but what else was he going to do.  As much as it bothered him to do so, he packed his make-up.  Those subliminal messages he had listened to had packed a wallop and he couldn't bring himself to leave it behind.  He also packed the remainder of his two cartons of Marlboros.  His mother had underestimated him.  Maybe her blowjobs were worth a carton of smokes but his were worth two.

He went back out and spent the next couple of hours with his mother, trying to pretend he wasn't pulling something over on her.  She was clueless and too busy spraying imaginary spiders with a can of Raid to notice the anxiety on her daughter's face.

They went to bed at eleven.  Susan waited in his room for 45 minutes before picking up her bag and purse.  He stopped in the kitchen and wrote his mom a note.  She was crazy, but Susan didn't want her to worry needlessly over him.  Of course his mother would be terrorized and grief stricken after discovering who it was Susan had left with.  So much the better, thought Susan as he signed the note.

She was standing under a streetlight with her bag at her side and a cigarette in hand.  She got excited as a car drove up and slowed down.  But it wasn't her father- just some guys who had mistaken her for a prostitute.  What the hell, she thought.  She'd blow both of them for $20.00 each.  She could always use cigarette money.

The first guy was coming in her mouth when she felt a tug on her shoulder.  She swallowed.  Thinking it was the first guy's friend being impatient; she swallowed, turned around and blasted the guy for being rude.

It was her father.

"Hi Dad."

"Darrel, is that really you?"

"Hey man," said the second guy.  "Get in line!  I was here first!"

"She's great," said the first guy.  "Best 20 bucks I've spent all week."

Richard Davenport grabbed his son by the arm and dragged him to his car, picking up the bag on the way.

"I need a cigarette Dad.  Do you mind?"

Richard shook his head.  "Help your self."

Susan lit up and inhaled a deep drag.  "I'm really sorry you had to see me like that back there.  It's not like I want to do it.  I can't help my self.  It's like these cigarettes.  You remember how much I hated the smell of mom's smoking when you lived with us.  She hooked me up to this machine that shot nicotine in my bloodstream.  I've got to smoke five packs a day or I get sick."

"It's not your fault Darrel.  Don't worry about it.  I understand.  We're going to make this right.  I'm taking you to see a doctor first thing in the morning.  And then I'll deal with your mother."

*****

Hannah was frantic with worry the next morning when she read Susan's note.  She racked her brain as she tried to think where her ex-husband could have taken her daughter.  She didn't have to wonder long.  The phone rang.  It was Richard.

Hannah called him a bastard.  She reminded him that he had broken the restraining order by kidnapping Susan and demanded that he return her daughter at once.

Richard told her that he had taken their "son" to the hospital and if she wanted to see him, she could meet them there.  And then he hung up.

*****

Hannah was met at the hospital by her ex-husband and some men wearing white coats.  She was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic and immediately admitted for treatment and observation.  Her doctors prescribed a drug called Zyprexa.  After three weeks of drug treatment and intensive psychotherapy, she was released to Richard's care.  She signed out as Lois Davenport.

With the help of Zyprexa, Lois became the woman Richard Davenport had married so many years ago.  She no longer saw spiders, head lice or spies.  He couldn't help but fall in love in love with her again and she with him.

He asked her to marry him and she accepted his proposal.  Richard would have asked Darrel to be his best man, but under the circumstances, it made more sense for him to serve as his mother's maid of honor.  Darrel was still a slut.  She fucked her father's best man before the ceremony.  She also was quite popular at the reception.

It was far from a fairy tale story of a splintered family brought back together.  Lois felt guilty for what she had done to her son.  It wasn't her fault.  She had been sick and Richard made a habit of reminding her of this.  Hannah became Lois again but Darrel remained Susan. 

Susan was unhappy.  She missed her life as a boy.  She hated what she had become- a chain-smoking, trash talking, slutty nymphomaniac.  Unlike her mom, there was no magic pill she could take to make things better.

Physically speaking, she was stuck as a woman.  Nothing could be done to rectify that.  The real problem was her bad girl persona created by the tapes.

The fall-out over the situation was severe.  Dr. Avery, the man who had performed the surgery, secured the feminization tapes, and invented the nicotine drip, had his medical license revoked.  He had broken his oath as a doctor to not cause harm.  He recognized the symptoms of schizophrenia in Lois and chose to use it to satisfy his own sick fantasies.  Besides serving jail time, Richard Davenport had successfully sued him and won a multi-million dollar settlement.  Avery was bankrupt and imprisoned.

Susan had become an unwilling slave to her sexual urges and addiction to nicotine, but with therapy, she was making progress.  She had learned to muster the necessary self-control to insist that her many sexual partners use condoms.  That alone made her parents feel their daughter was somewhat safer.

Money wasn't a problem, but the Davenports spent thousands of dollars trying to heal their daughter.  They were thrilled when Susan successfully cut back to four packs of cigarettes a day.  Progress came in such small steps.

After three years of intense therapy and treatment, Susan's doctors told her parents that they had done all they could for the vivacious teen slut.  The results were enormous and had come at a high price, but Susan was more slut than woman.  Although she still had an insatiable appetite for sex, she had developed enough self-control to focus her appetite on individual relationships rather than the entire male population.

She had learned to suppress the urge to dress provocatively and decorate her eyes like a raccoon.  At 18, she was dressing and behaving like a fine young woman.  She had become active in her church and was meeting eligible men.  None of this came easy to her nor did it come easy to the men in her life.

Although she was beautiful, men found it difficult to live up to her sexual standards.  She wore most of them out after a matter of weeks.  Those that could match her libido had difficulty with her smoking.  Smoking is extremely sexy in moderation but moderation was not a part of Susan's vocabulary.

After three years of living like a woman, she had still not adjusted to the concept of having relationships with men.  She had turned her attention to women several times but to no avail.  The audio programming of her youth made sexual relationships with women impossible.  No amount of therapy could help her overcome it.  She required sex and she got it from men and hated herself for it.

Susan was angry with her mother but she forgave her.  As a matter of fact, their relationship as mother and daughter blossomed after her mother began taking the Zyprexa.  Though they wouldn't admit it to anyone who asked, both Lois and Richard loved having a daughter, especially one as beautiful as Susan.  Now that she wasn't dressing like a slut and giving blowjobs behind the bushes, they were quite proud to be seen in public with her.

Susan was all-woman.  The audiotapes had feminized her completely.  But         they hadn't taught her how to be a lady.  Lois had fun teaching her daughter how to become more ladylike.  The first thing she did was to encourage her daughter to give up the Marlboros for Virginia Slims.  Since she needed to smoke, she should smoke like a lady.

Richard was never happy about his daughter's addiction, but then again, he knew it wasn't her fault and she couldn't help it.  It had always bothered him to see her smoking Marlboros, holding them like a truck driver.  But he warmed to his daughter's new style.

Susan hadn't gone full circle but she had covered a lot of ground.  She had gone from being a good boy to being a very bad girl.  And now she was on her way to becoming a good woman, if only she could learn to be happy with her new life.

Her mother told her that it would happen some day.  She told her daughter that when she least expected it, she would meet a prince who would make her feel like a princess.  This man- this Mr. Right, would make her feel good about being a woman.  He would love every thing about her and would try to change nothing.  He would love her unconditionally- as she was.

It was a nice fantasy- a man who would love her as she was.  It was a nice fantasy- to believe she could love a man and enjoy his touch and his company.  But that's all it was to Susan- a fantasy, but it kept her sane all the same.

*****

Thad Rivers had always been a shy kid.  He was seven years old when the Davenports moved next door.  His parents were ecstatic to learn that a couple with a 16-year-old daughter had moved next door.  They saw Susan as a potential baby sitter for their son.

The Rivers had no idea that the busty young girl had once been a boy- a shy boy, much like their son.  If they had, they probably would have had reservations about asking her to baby-sit their precious Thad.  It was bad enough that the girl smoked.  The Rivers were fierce anti-smokers especially as far as children were concerned.  And they definitely didn't want their son in the same room with a smoker.

Connie Rivers was willing to put her ethics aside.  She offered Susan a job babysitting her son for ten dollars an hour on the condition she leave her cigarettes at home.  She was surprised at her tolerance but even more surprised when Susan made her a counter offer.  Susan explained that the price was $20.00 an hour plus a pack of cigarettes, and she would smoke whenever and wherever she pleased.  Connie was mortified, but she was also in a bind and needed a baby-sitter.  She grudgingly gave in to the teenager's demands.

Thad loved Susan and lived for the nights his parents would go out and leave him with her.  Susan liked Thad too.  In him she saw her former self.  Needless to say, there was nothing sexual about their relationship, but it was a relationship all the same- one built on friendship and mutual respect.

She baby-sat for him all through college.  At 12, his parents decided he was old enough to stay by him self.  At 21, her life had become too busy for baby-sitting.

After graduation, Susan moved out and got a place of her own, but it was nearby and she saw her parents often and continued going to church with them.  It was Thad's church too.  He didn't look forward to the sermons, but he looked forward to seeing Susan in her pretty dresses.  She still talked to him whenever he saw her and that made Thad feel good.  He loved to stand outside the parking lot after church and watch Susan smoke cigarettes with her mother. 

As a young boy, he had loved to sit on the couch with Susan and watch her smoke.  It excited him for reasons he couldn't understand.  He would even steal the cigarettes she had smoked from the ashtray and take them to bed with her.  He enjoyed putting his lips where hers had once been.  Dirty and disgusting yes, but it was undeniable urge all the same.

One day, when Thad was about 17, he heard his parents talking about Susan.  His parents had become close to the Davenports over the years and they had confided Susan's secret to them.  It was then that Thad learned that Susan, the girl of his dreams, had once been a boy.  This confused him, but it didn't turn him off.  He didn't know the boy Susan used to be but he did know Susan, and he still loved her.

It pained him to see her take up with so many different guys.  It seemed as if she never had the same the boyfriend for more than three weeks.  But in some ways, this wasn't a bad thing.  He'd rather see her break up with a guy than marry him.

He pulled her aside one day after church and asked if he could talk to her alone.  Susan was well aware of Thad's crush on her.  Deep down, she was still a slut, but she had learned to control her urges, and felt comfortable inviting him to her apartment.

*****

"I know about you," said Thad.  "I know you used to be a boy and now you're a woman."

Very few people were aware of her secret.  Surprisingly, she wasn't disturbed by Thad's knowledge.  She calmly lit a cigarette and asked if he thought about her differently now that he knew the truth.

"Of course not," said Thad.  "I've been in love with you from the first day I saw you.  I thought you were beautiful then and I think you're beautiful now."

Thad told her about stealing her cigarettes from the ashtray when she had baby-sat for him.  He told her about how beautiful he thought she was when she smoked and how putting the used filters between her lips had made him feel closer to her

"You know Thad, I didn't choose this for myself.  I didn't have a choice."

Susan told him about his life as Darryl and how his mom had suffered from schizophrenia.  She told him about the spies and her father.  She told him about Dr. Avery, the surgery, the nicotine drip and the subliminal tapes.  She left nothing out.  She even told him about being a slut.

"Don't ever glamorize what happened to me Thad.  It wasn't right.  It was criminal.  It ruined my life."

"You're not a slut any more," said Thad.

"Yes I am.  I may not act like I used to but I still think I like I did.  You don't know what it's like to need something so badly.  I don't even like guys Thad.  I'm disgusted by the things I do but I can't help my self.  And then I make it even worse when I meet a nice guy by driving him away.  I always want more than they're willing or capable of giving.  And if I don't drive them a way with my lust, I drive them away with my smoking."

"I think you look pretty when you smoke."

"I smoke like a train Thad.  There's nothing pretty about it.  I even smoke when I have sex.  Can you imagine that?"

"As a matter of fact I have imagined that," said Thad.

Susan giggled at his comment and lit another cigarette.  "Be careful what you wish for Honey, or you might wind up getting it."

"I don't think that would be so bad," said Thad, "As long as it was you I was getting."

"Do you hear what you're saying?  You're 17.  You're good looking and healthy and have you're whole life in front of you.  I'm 26.  I feel like I'm 50.  I'm not even a real girl."

"Quit saying that Susan.  You are a real girl."

"I can't have babies."

"We could adopt."

"Oh really," asked Susan.  "We could adopt?  So now you're talking about marriage.  You're a sweet kid Thad.  You really are.  But you deserve better than me."

"And all along I've been thinking you deserve better than me," said Thad.  "So I guess that means we deserve each other."

Susan realized he was obsessed.  The boy obviously had a crush on her.  He glamorized her life.  He saw her as something she wasn't.  He was under her spell and she would need to break it with a dose of reality.

"Tell me," she asked?  "Have you ever kissed a girl that smokes?"

"No, my mom won't let me go out with girls that smoke."

"Oh really.  And why is that?"

Thad blushed.  "She thinks they're sluts.  But she doesn't think that about you."

"She does now," laughed Susan.  "She knows all about me."

"But you're a grown-up.  My mom thinks its OK for grown-ups to smoke."

"My mom smokes," said Susan.  "And my dad is always bitching about kissing her.  Do your self a favor and stick to girls your own age that don't smoke.  They're healthier and they don't taste like ashtrays.  If there's one thing I've learned, it's that smokers and non-smokers just don't mix.  They're always fighting about it.  That's why I don't date non-smokers any more.  It's just not worth the aggravation or hassle."

"I wouldn't hassle you if you were my girlfriend.  And I wouldn't try to change you either.  I think you're perfect just the way you are.  If you were my girlfriend, I'd light your cigarettes and kiss you all the time.  I could never think you tasted like an ashtray.  I'm different like that."

Susan didn't say so, but she had to admit, Thad was different.  She'd never heard of anyone digging out a girl's cigarette buts from an ashtray, just so he could put his lips where hers had been.

"I'll tell you what," said Susan.  "I'll prove it to you.  I'll let you kiss me and we'll see if you gag.  And when you do, you'll just forget about this nonsense.  Do we have a deal?"

"What do I get if I don't gag- if I like it?"

"Nothing," said Susan.

"No, I got it.  If I kiss you and I like it then you have to go to my prom as my date!  How about that?"

Susan roared with laughter.  "You want me to go to your date?  How funny is that.  I'm 26 and your 17.  I'm not even a real girl.  I can't do that!"

"Have you ever been to a prom before?"

"No one ever asked me.  Why spend money to take a girl out when she'll just do it in the parking lot for free."

Thad saw a look of hurt in her eyes.  He'd touched a sore spot with her.  He wished he could take back his words, not about asking her to the prom, but about asking if she'd ever gone to hers.

He put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her toward him.

Susan didn't resist.  She needed to be held and consoled.  She felt his tender lips as they pressed against her cheeks.  Kisses from a guy who claimed he didn't want to fuck her brains out and toss her aside.  As if such a guy really existed.

She felt him try to kiss her lips.  She didn't fight him off.  When she felt his lips touch against hers, she opened her mouth.

Her kiss was everything he'd dreamed it would be as he sucked on her hot smoky tongue. 

She melted in his arms.  It was a kiss unlike one she had ever experienced.  It was a kiss from a human- a guy who truly cared about her.

Eventually he pulled away but not without kissing her once more on the lips and cheek.  "I won," he said.  "You're going to my prom."

*****

"I don't understand," said his father.  "Why Susan?  You could have asked any girl and I'm sure she would have been glad to go with you.  Susan is a grown woman.  I have a hard time believing she said yes when you asked her."

"A grown woman," asked Connie?  "That's using the female term rather lightly.  She's a grown man!"

"Stop it Mom," growled Thad.  "Susan isn't a man.  She's all female.  Besides, she had nothing to do with what happened to her.  Her mother did it to her."

"Maybe so," said Hank.  "But still...doesn't it bother you knowing she used to be a guy?  Think about it Thad.  Susan used to have a penis."

"Besides that," added Connie.  "She smokes like a fiend.  You don't want to get involved with a girl that smokes."

"What are you talking about Mom?  I'm already involved with her.  I've known her for ten years!"

"Your mother's right Thad.  Susan baby-sitting you and Susan dating you are two different things."

"I'm just taking her to the prom Dad.  It's not that big of deal."

"This is more than the prom son.  Your mother and I know it and you know it.  Your going to the prom has a lot of implications that need to be considered."

"What kind of implications?"

"Susan is a slut dear.  She's been with every guy in town."

"She's not a slut Mom!  Don't say that about her!"

"You spent all day alone with her at her apartment.  Did you and she...you know. Did you," asked his father?

"Did we fuck?  No Dad we didn't.  She's not like that any more.  But that doesn't mean I wouldn't make love to her if she me."

"This is exactly what we're talking about Thad!  How can you be attracted to this thing, knowing what it is and what it did and what it does," asked Connie?  Do you want to be like Susan?  Is that it?  Are you gay?  Is that what you're trying to tell us?  Are you smoking Honey?  Oh dear God.  Please tell me she hasn't got you smoking!"

Thad's head was still spinning from his mother's ranting when his dad decided to add another two cents to the conversation.

"I'm going to tell you what my father told me when I was your age.  Your grandfather, God rest his soul, told me; never date a woman you'd be embarrassed to marry."

"What makes you think I'd be embarrassed to marry Susan?"

*****

Lois Davenport and her husband Richard were faring much better than their neighbors with the news of the prom.

"I'm so happy for you Honey," shouted Lois as the two women jumped across the floor holding hands.

"I can't believe it Mom!  After all these years, I'm going to the prom.  I know it's not my prom, but still it's a prom."

Richard scratched his head as he absorbed his daughter's joy.  He'd never seen her so happy.  She looked so radiant- almost angelic.

"We have to get you a dress," shouted Lois!

*****

For the first time in her life as a girl, Susan felt special.  She lit a cigarette and admired herself in the mirror as her mother fawned over her new dress.

"You look magnificent Honey!  I still can't believe you're going to the prom. You're going to have such a good time!  You'll remember this night for the rest of your life.  It will be like a magical fairytale.  Thad is such a sweetheart for inviting you."

Susan took a drag from her cigarette as she considered her mother's words- a magical fairytale.  There was no denying it, dressed in her prom dress, Susan felt like a princess.  But was Thad her Prince Charming?  He was just 17.  She was 26.  But with Thad, she wasn't living a lie.

Tonight felt so different than all the other dates she had.  Her life as a girl had gone full circle.  She had been resentful of her womanhood until that day in her apartment when Thad had kissed her and asked her to his prom.  Until that day she had just been making the best of a bad situation.  So what was so different now?  Maybe her mother was right.  Maybe prom was magical and the magic would dissipate when it was over.  She thought of Cinderella's dress turning to rags at the stroke of midnight.  Would she become a man when the clock struck twelve?  She smiled at the thought.  Would becoming a man be good or bad?

Two weeks ago, Susan would have given anything to regain her manhood.  But that was before that day in her apartment with Thad.  She had seen something in his eyes that day.  She had seen herself through his eyes- and it was beautiful.

*****

Thad stood on the Davenport's doorstep dressed in his rented tux and holding a corsage as he prepared to meet his destiny.  The road that led to this doorstep had been rough and bumpy.  His parents had relented but their support was grudging at best.  Their dutiful son had become a headstrong teen.

Richard Davenport answered the door and invited Thad inside.  Thad had grown up seeing Mr. Davenport his whole life, but he looked bigger and more intimidating than he remembered.  He was no longer a neighbor.  He was his girlfriend's father.  Girlfriend?  Susan wasn't his girlfriend.  She was going to his prom as a favor, but for tonight, he would think of her as such.

"Susan is upstairs with her mother getting dressed.  She'll probably be a few minutes.  Sit down and I'll get you a Coke."

Thad took a seat and waited nervously for Susan's father to return.

"I'd like to thank you for asking Susan to your prom," said Mr. Davenport as he handed Thad a Coke.  "It means a lot to her.  She never got to go to her own prom.  She was kind of different back then, if you know what I mean."

Thad took a sip of his Coke.  He wasn't sure if the statement warranted a reply or if he was being tested.

"I hope you didn't ask Susan out because you were hoping to get an easy lay.  She's different now.  She's really looking forward to tonight and I can't tell you how disappointed I'd be if I discovered your intentions were less than honorable."

Maybe it was the newfound fear for her father or maybe it was the strength of his emotions for her, but Thad blurted out his thoughts.

"I love her Mr. Davenport.  I've always loved her.   I'd never do anything to hurt her."

Richard wrinkled his nose at the teen's words.  He hadn't expected such a strong statement.

"I don't know if this is my place," said Richard.  "But I don't think you love my daughter.  I can well imagine you have a crush on her, but love...that's a very strong word for a boy your age."

Before he could respond, Susan and her mother interrupted them with their entrance.  Thad was dumbfounded.  She looked gorgeous.  He shouldn't have been surprised.  Susan was one of those girls who could never look ugly, but tonight she looked as if she had walked out of his dreams.  He fell all over himself as he stumbled from the couch to greet her.

Susan realized she'd never pass as a teen and had given up on the idea of trying.  She was a beautiful woman but a decade of heavy smoking had taken its toll on her skin.  She looked ten years older than her 26 years.  She would have loved a colorful and frilly party dress, but had chosen an elegant black gown instead as it fitted her curves better.

"I hope I won't look out of place in this dress," she said as she withdrew a cigarette from her pack of Virginia Slims and prepared to light it.

Thad caught her hand and removed the lighter.  "Let me," he said as held the flame.  Susan giggled like a teenager as she accepted his light.

"I think you look beautiful," he said.

She heard the words but it was the look in his eyes that spoke volumes to her.  She kissed him sweetly on the lips as a sign of gratitude.

*****

Heads turned in awe as the striking couple entered the ballroom.  Susan was self-conscience at first.  She felt their eyes on her massive breasts as they jiggled to her stride.  She felt the jealousy in the leers of the fresh-faced girls as they struggled to guess her age.  Boys spilled their drinks, as it was difficult to stare and walk at the same time.

Thad was the perfect gentleman.  He pulled out her chair whenever they returned to their table after a dance.  He lit her cigarettes.  His eyes never strayed.  She was the focus of his world.

The night was growing late.  Many of the students had already left but there they sat at the table talking and holding hands.  Every now and then, Thad would catch her looking up at the clock.

"You keep checking the time," he said.  "Is there someplace you need to go?"

Susan smiled and said no as the little hand met the big hand on the twelve. 

Fin

 

since 10/18/04