Whatever Your Heart Desires
By Cherysse St. Claire
Part 2
I would love to say I had The Grand Plan: How To
Transform Your Husband Into A Ravishing Fem-Toy, A To Z. The fact was, I didn’t
have a clue. It wasn’t a topic normally covered by the Multiple Listing
Service. I really didn’t think the community library was going to be much help,
either. I couldn’t even find a copy of Feminization For Dummies in any
of the local bookstores – not that I expected to. I did have the
following assets: 1) a husband I flat-out adored who, apparently, had harbored
intense feminine inclinations for a long time; 2) a newly-discovered penchant
of my own to explore said inclinations for our mutual pleasure (oh yeah, was it
ever!); 3) the financial wherewithal to do so; 4) friends I could trust;
5) the Internet; 6) instinct; 7) Danny’s surreal natural beauty and physiology
ideally suited for feminization.
Asset Numbers One and Two were givens. I would
incorporate Numbers Three and Four as needed. Number Five was a Godsend; the
best ‘library’ and public forum I could ever want. In the days following our
initial ‘revelation’, I became a Web Junkie (away from Danny’s presence, of
course; I needed the privacy), beginning with the sites Danny had bookmarked
and expanding my knowledge base from there. In the course of my cyber-surfing,
I met and curried the friendship of a number of knowledgeable, experienced
people – male, female, and in-between – who knew a lot more about the subject
than I did. Through them, I outlined a general strategy to make ‘Danielle’ a
fem-toy we could both enjoy.
That she would be a fem-toy was a given as well.
Why would I want to create another serious, level-headed, success-driven career
woman like myself? How boring was that? We didn’t really need Danny’s income,
although I would never dream of denying him the opportunity to do something he
found fulfilling. What I wanted was a sexy, saucy playmate to help me
enjoy my free time, someone who would be fun for both of us. If, later on, I
also convinced him being a fem-toy was more rewarding than writing the
occasional magazine article or essay, there was nothing wrong with that, was
there? At the moment, that was not a pressing issue. I did not yet know how
often we would want to enjoy ‘Danielle’. A couple times a month? Evenings
and weekends? Full-time? I would trust my instincts to say “enough”. Of course,
all plans are subject to change….
Some of it would be easy. Danny and I had had a mutual
taste for kink from the beginning of our relationship. We enjoyed new porn
releases together, frequently attended “Gentleman’s Clubs” together, and had
even made occasional forays to BDSM clubs. As a result, we had identified some
well-defined common traits we liked in ‘bad girls’. For the most part, they
represented the complete antithesis of our conservative, white-collar working
lives. I relished the thought of incorporating some of those traits into my new
‘girlfriend’.
Even that might prove to be easy. First, Danny had the
‘right stuff’ (Asset Number Seven). If he was too small, slender, and pretty
for a man, he was perfect for Womanhood. Our visits to the bondage clubs
had revealed Danny had a nascent submissive streak. I had occasionally played
with it in the past, though not in a serious way. That was about to change. I
was convinced that, with a little effort, I could transform him into a
ravishing sexpot – to our mutual delight.
While ‘Danny’ would continue to share our marital bed
with me, I could already foresee times when it would be inappropriate for
‘Danielle’ to do so. It was a must that she have her own space, separate and
distinct from my husband’s. I redecorated one of our guest bedrooms for that
purpose. In addition to her queen-sized bed (no pun intended), dressers, vanity,
and jewelry armoire, she would have a roomy walk-in closet and her own
bathroom. I chose the décor and furnishings, opting for a soft pastel lilac
with white accents. I enjoyed making that ‘lifestyle choice’ for her and looked
forward to making more in the future. Let the games begin!
The single exception I made to the ‘separate space’
edict was underwear or, to be exact, lingerie. I learned from my Domme
friends on the Internet nothing is more effective in keeping a
sissy-in-training’s mind on her new status than keeping her in the frilliest, femmiest
lingerie at all times. That was the appropriate place to start his
transformation, they all agreed, and it seemed like a scrumptious idea to me.
I adored taking Danny lingerie shopping. We patronized
several different stores, including Victoria’s Secret and Frederick’s.
I allowed him input on colors and styles, but not the decision he would be
wearing feminine underthings from that point on, regardless of his outerwear.
This was our first test of trust - and wills. I expected heel-dragging,
whining, even an argument. Although I really loathed the idea, I was fully
prepared to publicly humiliate and privately punish him in order to get my way.
Bless his heart, he was as meek as a little lamb. He
spent around three hours in various fitting rooms, trying on the articles that
the sales associates and I brought him from the racks. In each store, I
confided to the associates that I was panty-training my ‘girlfriend’. Several
replied it wasn’t their first experience with a ‘sissy’. Each observed
‘Danielle’ was spectacular ‘raw material’ to work with. We left with a fabulous
wardrobe of bras, panties, garter belts, camisoles, slips, and negligees – and
an obligation that ‘Danielle’ return to shop with them again soon. Danny had
been a bit taken aback that his bras were all a DD-cup, pointing out he did not
exactly have the assets to fill them. I admonished him not to worry, that I
would see to it the capacity did not go to waste.
Another of my edicts – and a personal preference of
mine – was, in addition to her lingerie, Danielle’s legs be properly clad in stockings,
not pantyhose. I just feel stockings are sexier and more feminine. Danny had
always expressed the same preference. It was a natural that Danielle be
required to wear them, and she was just as enthusiastic about it as I. We did
go a bit overboard on hosiery, acquiring some three-dozen pair in assorted
styles and colors. It seemed almost an afterthought to get Danny’s ears pierced
before we left the mall. We started with two in each ear, with starter studs in
each. I would expand her collection of earrings after the piercings healed –
and probably the number of piercings as well.
Heel training would be an essential element of
Danielle’s ‘education’. With her long, slim, sexy legs, stilettos would be as
natural as the stockings that would hug her flesh. We went to some specialty
stores on the Boulevard for those. I began with a half-dozen pair, just to get
her used to walking in heels. OK, I kinda threw her into the deep end right
away. Two pair of pumps had flat soles and five-inch heels. Two pair of
ankle-strap sandals had platform soles and six-inch heels. The remaining two
pair were a fetishist’s delight; flat soles and rapier-like six-inch stiletto
spikes. Danny and I both liked the look, so Danielle was outvoted – as if she
would really have a problem with it.
It wasn’t like she would have to learn to walk in them
all by herself; I would be right there to teach her the delicate, confident
heel-toe strut, undulating her hips in that provocative way men adore. Of
course, she had to try the shoes on in the store to make sure they fit
properly. It took a bit of coaxing, but I got Danny to walk around a bit to get
used to them. I’m certain it caused him some embarrassment, but that was only a
temporary thing. I was equally certain the next time he went out in heels, no
one would think unkindly of him.
That left one final stop for our first afternoon
outing. With all of Danielle’s feminine finery, the idea of body hair was
repugnant. I had already had mine removed via ultra-light and had made the
first of several appointments for Danny. I could have settled for shaving,
waxing, or using a depilatory cream, particularly at this early stage of his
transformation. After all, the ultra-light method of hair removal was permanent.
That was exactly the point. This was another test, to see how committed Danny
was to the idea of ‘Danielle’ – and acceding to my wishes .
I presented it to him in a loving, caring way. It was
his choice, I intoned. If he wasn’t comfortable with this so soon, he was free
to shave his body twice a week and his face twice a day to keep his skin smooth
and stubble-free – and endure the nicks, cuts, and razor burn that were part of
the process. Either way, I would require ‘Danielle’ to be hairless but for her
scalp and eyebrows or there would be no ‘Danielle’ at all. I knew what I wanted
when it came to my girlfriend’s appearance. I was going to play hardball and
made certain Danny knew it. Once again, he readily acquiesced to my directive.
We left the clinic with Danny appearing to be slightly sunburned – and hairless
from his cheeks to his toes.
I couldn’t wait to get home to begin putting it all
together. Of course, all the lingerie and stockings first had to be folded and
put in drawers – after I made Danny take all of his male underwear to
the trash. The new shoes were stacked in a shoetree in the closet. The
negligees were hung on hangers. After a shower, I treated Danny to a full-body
massage with aloe to lessen the sting from his hair-removal session. Then it
was time to dress ‘Danielle’ for our evening’s pleasure.
There were two additional surprises for my lover as I
prepared her for the night ahead. I produced a pair of superbly-lifelike
silicone breast forms placed each one in turn against her chest in its proper
position, then marked it. Using a medical-grade adhesive, I attached each
breast in its place. The tone of the breast forms would be a perfect match to
her skin – once the ‘sunburn’ faded. The feathered edges blended perfectly with
her skin. With a little makeup, there would be no trace of a seam. But for
their size (completely filling her DD-cup bras) and firm, thrusting ‘done’
appearance, everyone would believe the breasts were Danielle’s own flesh.
The second surprise was a black calfskin full-torso
lace-up corset. It was one of six such specially-ordered garments, with more to
come. Along with panty- and heel-training, Danielle would also undergo
figure-training to achieve that perfect hourglass torso that women covet and
men drool over. The laces would not be tightened to the extreme this first
time. Her waist would be reduced about two inches, just to get her used to the
feeling of constriction. The corset’s demi-cups cradled and lifted her DD
‘breasts’, offering them up for all to see and appreciate.
After tightening the laces and tying them off, I
instructed Danielle to roll up a pair of suntan sheer stockings, roll them up
her legs one at a time, then clip the tops to the garters attached to her
corset. Once that task was completed, I assisted her in buckling on her new
black calfskin ankle-strap sandals with platform soles and six-inch stiletto
heels. At my direction, she slipped a full-length nylon and lace negligee over
her head, allowing it to settle alluringly around her newly-feminized curves.
After painting her lips a deep crimson and a few spritzes of Obsession, she
was ready for me.
In honor of her first true “debut”, we enjoyed a light
supper and champagne in bed. It turned into a genuine seduction scene, as we
took turns slipping bite-sized nuggets of smoked salmon or brie on crackers, a
grape, or an occasional strawberry into each other’s mouths. We were very
touchy-feely, too, filling our fingertips with each other’s flesh when we
weren’t offering up tidbits of food. The touching gave way to kissing and soft,
sensual fondling.
I had done FMF threesomes, but never an overtly
girl-girl experience. Despite her origins, I was getting into my ‘date’ with
Danielle as exactly that – I mean, really getting into it. We spent a
long, leisurely hour pleasuring each other orally and tactilely. I came four
times – three at the behest of her fabulous lips and tongue, the fourth from
manual stimulation of my clit and pussy. She came in my mouth, flooding
my insides with her thick, creamy cum. For all that, the night was young and so
were we.
Once I had laved her to full erection again, I lay her
on her back, climbed atop her, then rode her to the first of several more
orgasms for me. God, I was so hot for her! I teased her unmercifully,
squeezing off the base of her fuckshaft as she approached orgasm, not allowing
her to cum – even as I thrashed in the throes of ecstasy. I had one final,
extra-special surprise for her that night, and wanted her so hot for her
release, she would beg me for it. By the time of my fourth orgasm atop her – my
eighth so far that night – Danielle did exactly that. With a smile, I climbed
off her and prepared myself.
She gaped in astonishment at my strap-on. Danny and I
had included dildos and vibrators in our sex play before, but they were always
in me. If I had thought to try them on my husband before, I might have been
able to enjoy ‘Danielle’ much sooner. I was about to make up for lost time and
opportunity. I had my lover pay oral homage to my cock a good twenty minutes,
getting her used to the idea of having a cock in her mouth like a good little
slut. Then, at last, it was time for the Main Event.
I lubed her tight little puckerhole with one finger and
a generous amount of K-Y. After reaming her really good with one finger,
I slipped in a second, and later a third. My baby was getting nicely stretched
out from my insistent attention. I lubed my cock generously, then slipped a
pillow under her to raise her sex to the optimum position. I lifted her legs
over my shoulders, placed the helmet of my lifelike cock at her entrance, then
slowly, gently entered her virgin pussy. Unknown to her, the mirror image of
the ‘double-ender’ was nestled deeply in my own pussy.
Oh, how I adored the look of shocked surprise in her
eyes! Her lips formed a perfect “O” as she exhaled forcefully. I stopped a
moment to allow her to get used to this much invasion, wiggled it back and
forth just a bit, then pushed a little more into her. I kept up this technique
until I was buried in her snatch up to the hilt. By that time, the pain that
had been so readily apparent on her face had begun to diminish. I began to fuck
her with long, slow, languid strokes, pulling back almost to the point of
pulling out completely, then thrusting all the way back in. My ears
reverberated with the sound of her moans. My own rising level of excitement kept
pace with hers.
When I felt she could handle it, I began to fuck her
faster, harder. At the same time, I was lightly stroking her engorged ‘clit’.
Her hips were bucking, thrusting towards me to impale herself even deeper on my
fuck pole. We came together, screaming our lust for each other. Her clitty,
pointed at her face, was erupting thick, creamy globs onto her lips and into
her mouth. I made certain she swallowed it, wiping up the near-misses with my
index finger, then fucking her mouth with it, having her suck my finger clean.
We had reduced each other to limp, spent rag dolls. To
my way of thinking, any lingering doubts about the erotic appeal of our revised
‘relationship’ had been blown completely away. I worded my question to her
along those lines.
“What will it be, Sweetheart?”, I gasped. “Do we go forward
from here, stay where we are, or return to the way we were?”
“Can you be happy with us the way we were,” she
replied weakly, struggling to catch her breath, “after what we just shared?”
I smiled what I hoped was a serene smile.
“My Love, I am happy with you, period,” I purred. “As
to whether or not I can be content with our former love life after what
we just experienced….”
I tried to keep my face neutral while I searched for the right
combination of words to finish that sentence. Danny was nobody’s fool in any
incarnation. He – she - was very adept at reading between the lines.
“That is what I thought,” my sweet Danielle surmised. “There
really is nothing left to decide, is there? We have already made our choice.”
She turned her head a little, her eyes beginning to brim
with tears.
“I just… hope… we made the right one,” she finished.
I kissed her then, with compassion.
“I know,” I responded. “It’s a big step into the Unknown for
both of us, but especially for you. It’s got to be really scary, too. Tell me
this; do you still love me?”
She nodded, stifling a sob.
“With all my heart.”
“Do you trust me?”, I countered.
She nodded again, perhaps with a bit less certainty.
“I have to, don’t I? I mean, without that, we really don’t
have anything.”
“What are you afraid of?”, I questioned.
A big, fat tear rolled down her cheek, followed by another
on the other side.
“I am afraid,” she began, “of making the wrong choice.
We have been together nearly five years and I have cherished every day. If we
do this, we won’t be the same as we were. I won’t be the same. What
happens if you change your mind about us? I would rather die than lose
you over some damn silly fantasy.”
I softly caressed her cheek with the palm of my left hand. I
held the hand up, flashing my wedding band.
“Do you see that?
“Yes,” Danni sniffed.
I slipped my right hand under her left, displaying her ring.
“See that?”
She nodded. I placed my left hand over hers, interlocking
our fingers.
“That means forever,” I replied. “I meant it then; I
mean it now. I love you with all of my heart and I would rather
die than abuse your trust. You have to admit; this has been the best sex we
have had, ever. With all of that going for us, how can it be wrong?
The fact that you are getting so emotional over this – just like a woman – says
to me we are making exactly the right choice. That doesn’t seem so
‘silly’ to me.
“Danielle, as good as the last five years have been –
and they have been very good - this past few days, this night, and what
we just experienced were pure magic. I felt it. I know you did, too.
Many people live out their entire lives without ever experiencing what we just
did. I would not have experienced it, were you not in my life and the
person you are. For us, the magic is just beginning. I promise you; if
this doesn’t work out, we will find our way back to a place where we can both
be comfortable. Our love for one another will still be there, regardless. Please,
give the magic a chance – for you, for me, for us.”
I believed, and meant, every word I had just spoken.
Still, it was a sales pitch. At that moment, I was the kid in the candy
store. I didn’t mind admitting to a touch of greed – as long as I didn’t have
to admit it to Danielle. I wanted her to have this transformation, for
her sake and my own. When I wanted something, I didn’t take “no” for an answer.
Sometimes, I played dirty.
“Sweetie, just think of how far we have come already.”
That wasn’t a lie but it was an exaggeration. Other
than the permanent hair removal, everything we had already done was either
disposable or reversible. Wording it the way I did lent the perception Danielle
had already traveled far down the road towards Womanhood when, in fact, she had
barely taken her first few halting steps. It’s an old Closer’s trick, kind of
like a Magician’s slight-of-hand. Still, it is often effective.
I recognized the look in her eyes. It was that same
look Danny had had the night he proposed to me. She was standing on the edge of
the cliff, contemplating the long, long drop. Funny; I was already thinking of
her as ‘her’, before she had committed to anything. That is an old
Closer’s trick, too: visualize the sale as a done deal. If you believe
it, they will, too. Then, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think it was the tears that convinced me. They made
her seem so vulnerable, so… feminine. Danny’s latent submissive streak
had met Danielle’s newfound girlish perception of herself. The results were very
appealing. In the beginning, I had had to feign my confidence. Now, it was
real. I said nothing. I merely took her slender, long-fingered hands in mine,
smiled serenely, and willed her to submit to me.
She did not say a word. When it came, her nod was
almost imperceptible. Had I not been focused intently on her, I might have
missed it. I would not have missed the visible release of tension in her body
and eyes. She had made her Leap of Faith, stepping off the cliff and trusting
me to catch her, break her fall. I was now free to make the magic happen for
both of us. And I thought I had felt empowered before….
“It’s all right, Baby,” I murmured. “I have you now.”
End of Part Two
since 10/18/04