After Brian's attitude following his first real date with Kyle, Louise
was rather taken aback to not only find him looking through her closet
two days later, but to see that he had lain three outfits on her bed
and was critically evaluating a fourth.
`What are you doing?' she asked, vaguely aware of the lack of sparkling
wit in the rather inane question.
`I'm choosing an outfit for tonight,' her brother replied looking
around at her. `Kyle is taking me to the Exhibition Center.' He added,
`There's a production of Twelfth Night on by the local amateur
dramatics society. I thought he might appreciate the irony.'
To be an older sister is to be a mass of contradictions. On one level,
Louise loved her brother in the way that all siblings should; on the
other, however, that love was tempered by having to live in close
proximity to the rather annoying youth. Absence may make the heart grow
fonder, but its opposite number sure as heck can make the heart grow
fouler, particularly when it means you have to stand outside the
bathroom for fifteen minutes waiting for them to finish flossing.
Louise had felt a touch reprehensible for how she had behaved towards
her younger brother (I, Louse, for you anagram fans). She had confided
her sins to Andrew, the handsome young school counselor who listened to
the students' darkest secrets and would one day go on to earn a fortune
from pornographic fiction and blackmail.
He had expressed surprise that she could be the type to act in such a
despicable manner, though he did attribute it to perhaps being the
influence of Michelle, who was most certainly the type. Louise had been
ready for more conflict with her brother, more attempts by him to bury
Mandy in the trashcan of the past. What she was not ready for, however,
was to see him standing by her bed trying to decide between a black
velour catsuit and a lilac and blue checked skirt which he had matched
with a blue top that had the words `Shopping Princess' spelt out across
the front in diamante.
Discarding the latter, but gently laying the former to one side, Brian
cast his eyes over the other two outfits on the bed. The first of these
was an incredibly short slip dress in a deep purple; if he was planning
to wear it, then he would have to pay especial attention to his choice
of panties, as everyone he met would have at least a fifty percent
chance of seeing them as the hem swished in even the most gentle of
breezes.
The final outfit was a dress with a full skirt and puffed sleeves in a
rather garish floral print on a bright yellow background. This latter
piece of apparel made Louise realize that Brian had really searched
through her clothing, as it had spent the two years since she purchased
it in a heap at the back of the closet, common sense making her
recognize how truly awful it was, but embarrassment making her
unwilling to return it to the store. The only thing more incredible to
Louise's eyes than her brother willingly cross-dressing was the idea
that he might chose to do so in such a gown. Displaying a level of
taste that his older sister had lacked at the time of purchase, Brian
tossed the yellow gown aside, followed, after a quick comparison with
the catsuit, by the short shift dress.
Brian held his selected outfit up in front of him. `Do you think it's
me?' he asked. A slack-jawed nod came in confirmation. `I'll need your
help getting ready.' he continued briskly. `Kyle will be picking me up
at 7:35, so I'll need to be ready by 7:20 at the latest. Also I will
need you to ensure that mom and dad are distracted, so that they don't
notice how I look or how I am dressed.'
After a murmured `ok', Brian left his sister's room, some underwear in
his hand and the catsuit over his arm.
Brian felt ecstatic. So far he had been at the mercy of developments,
its unwilling pawn at each new step. However, he had looked at the
issue coolly and rationally and mapped out his plans. He had not seen
Kyle on Friday, the day after the date, but this morning had telephoned
the older youth and, using his Mandy voice chatted to his would be
boyfriend for twenty minutes, finishing off the call with details about
the play that night, and how he wanted to go and see it. After the play
he would suggest a bite to eat at the nearby fast-food restaurant.
Assuming a period of twenty-five minutes from ordering to completion of
the meal, then he would be able to look at the time and insist that he
had to rush home in case his parents called to make sure that he and
Louise were home in time for their curfew.
At most, all he would have to endure would be a short kiss and cuddle,
nothing worse. For his longer term plans, Brian intended for Mandy to
date Kyle for two more weeks. An outing to the local zoo, another
movie date, a trip to the mall together and dinner at a local
restaurant would encompass the entire itinerary that he had planned for
them. At the end of the restaurant meal (where Mandy would look a
little tearful and introspect), he would explain to the older youth
that it was not working out, and that after much soul searching he had
realized that he was not attracted to males, and though Kyle was a
wonderful man, and would always hold a special place in his affections,
their relationship would not have a future. They would part as friends,
everyone would feel sorry for Kyle, but he would move on, Mandy would
be no more, and Brian could return to his carefully laid out plans for
the future without an ugly scandal to spoil everything.
If Brian had been the sort to whistle, he would have whistled a happy
tune as he worked through his carefully laid out plans in his head, but
he was not, and so he put on a Mozart CD instead. It had not been easy
for Brian to select a bra for that evening. The catsuit was sleeveless,
in a halter neck style that left a small slit of flesh exposed just
beneath the throat and wrapped around the neck to close with a small
Velcro strip at the back. The back of the cat suit was also cut low, so
that the top of the material lay just beneath his shoulder blades. A
normal bra's straps would have been exposed quite obviously on each
shoulder, so Brian had had to rummage through Louise's underwear drawer
until he found a bra without any straps which he was later to learn was
called up a push up bra. The back of this would lie only just below the
back of the catsuit, but fortunately it was also black, so any
unintended appearance of the undergarment should not be too obvious.
The panties he chose had to be changed twice (that is to say the
selection had to change twice (he was not that excited about the
coming date). The first pair he had selected fitted him quite fully,
but, as Louise pointed out once he was dressed, the panties' line was
very noticeable along his buttocks. The next pair he chose were
similarly obvious as he walked with them on. When Louise showed him
the scarlet thong panties he immediately rejected the idea. His natural
distaste at anyone being able to detect his undergarments finally
won through, however, and he agreed to try the minimalist garment when
he was sure that a pair of pantyhose over the top would hold his
genitals in place inside the skimpy red material.
Finally dressed, with a golden chain belt around his waist and a pair
of strapped sandals on his feet, Brian looked across at Mandy in the
mirror, his sister looking over his shoulder.
`How do I look?' he asked, a smile playing on his lips.
`Unbelievable.' exclaimed his sister. There was a drawn out pause, in
which Brian noticed his sister looking at his reflection, then across
at the wall, then down. Softly she said, `Look Brian. I know I acted
unfair in getting you into this. You tried to blackmail me and I went
and got my own back and then some."
But Brian turned and put a finger to his sister's lips. `It's ok,
Louise,' he smiled, `We all do some nasty things in our time. If this
Mandy thing works out, then it was to the good; if not, then as long as
we can draw a veil over it, who has been hurt.' He gave her a warm
smile, which she returned in kind. `Now go and distract mom and
dad so that I can slip out.'
Distracting Mr and Mrs Green was not exactly difficult. Their mother
was busy on the telephone to her sister on the West Coast, arranging a
suitable date for a visit. Their father was in front of the television
set, watching a prerecorded baseball game, his mobile phone to his ear
as he left messages on the voicemail of various colleagues and contacts
who had left him voicemails earlier in the day. Both parents waved
vague goodbyes to their son as he descended the stairs and told them
that he was going over to a chess club friend's house, though their
mother did add to make sure he was back by 10:45 pm and that Aunt Abbie
sent her love. Neither noticed that the trouser legs that extended from
their son's coat flared out in a boot cut style, and were made of
velour, not that his face was made up and that the bag under his arm
was just the right size to hold a wig and purse.
Louise watched her brother go out on his second date with a tingle in
her stomach. Though she had teased him about sexual involvement with
his `boyfriend' and had even left him to Kyle's tender mercies on that
first night (though fortunately they had turned out to be tender) she
felt apprehensive. With a start she realized that she had been worrying
that Mandy might go too far without protection. My brother will not go
and get himself pregnant she told herself. Amazed that she could allow
herself to get so detached from reality, she looked at both of her
parents, realized it was probably hereditary and shuddered. She had
been planning on going over to see Michelle that night, but elected to
stay in and study instead.
Stashing his coat in the garden shed, Brian pulled on the wig and
checked that it was straight in the small mirror he carried in his
purse. It was a pleasant evening and his exposed shoulders and back did
not feel cold. He waited just out of sight of the street, mentally
patting himself on the back. Guilt had overtaken his sister. If he
played it correctly, then he would not have to worry about her ever
revealing Mandy's existence.
The wide smile with which he greeted Kyle a few minutes later was not
due entirely to the anticipation of another date with the older youth.
Kyle had borrowed Phil's red convertible. The top had a couple of rips
in its cream material, but the evening was warm, and they left it down.
As they drove along, the wind in their hair (Brian checking every
couple of minutes to make sure that his wig wouldn't decide it liked
being in the wind and blow away), they chatted about various things,
from school to the play they were going to see, from television
programs to a big football game that the school's team had against a
local rival in a few weeks time; nothing of earth-shattering importance
or deep philosophical meaning, just ideal chatter. By the time they
reached the Exhibition Center where Twelfth Night was being performed,
Brian had grown relaxed enough in his role to pay attention to his
date's prattle about the approaching game and, with a wide fake yawn,
say `Bored now!'
`Hey,' retorted Kyle in mock hurt, `It might not mean much to you, but
the Mason City Jaypigeons are a tough team, and our main local rivals.
They've got several players who will be trying out for the state team
next year.'
Brian pretended to be interest in his fingernails (painted in a
metallic dark blue). `A load of big sweaty men throwing themselves at
each other. Why should that interest me?'
Kyle laughed loudly, and, bringing the car to a halt in a parking
space, pulled Brian in close, kissing him wetly on the cheek and making
the younger youth squeal. `Sorry, I forgot. You prefer chess.'
Brian pulled away, trying to look annoyed, but finding himself grinning
too much to really pull it off. `Chess makes you use your head for
thinking, rather than just as a battering ram.'
Kyle arched his eyebrows, then putting on a serious face, nodded
sagely, `I see. So tell me, do you think I could give up football,
learn chess and go pro at it?' he asked without levity.
Brian started to reply, to explain how intricate chess was, but paused
almost as the respond formed on his lips. He looked at the serious face
for a few seconds, then shoved Kyle roughly, but not unkindly, on the
arm.
`Get out of here,' he chided the kidder as a smirk burst across his
face. The air rang with their laughter for at least a minute though it
felt longer, causing a few weary glances their way from the other
patrons of the evening's show as they passed by.
Fear and apprehension, decided Brian, are the result of a lack of
knowledge and planning. The two teenagers were sat watching the
machinations of fate and Sir Toby cast Malvolio into incarceration,
apparently the victim of some madness. Whilst he had always enjoyed
Shakespeare, Brian found his attention waning somewhat when the story
moved away from Viola, towards the antics of the Lady Olivia's
household. Perhaps, he thought to himself, I can identify more with the
girl pretending to be a boy than I would normally. Nestled up against
Kyle, his left arm crossing in front of his body and resting on the
older boy's leg, he thought about how easy this evening was going.
When they had first sat down in their seats, Brian had felt less at
ease than he cared to let his date know. His own remark about sweaty
football players in the carpark, and the way he seemed to be relaxing
into the role of Mandy (where most of the feminine behaviors were
automatic, and the voice was becoming second nature to him) made him
seriously wonder for a moment if he was gay or secretly wished to be a
woman. These thoughts had made him less talkative as they waited for
the play to commence and had distracted him from almost the entire
first act. Brian had been carefully planning his choice of hobbies,
after-school activities and acquaintances for several years.
He knew what he wanted to be, had studied the ideal scholastic
background to achieve it, and had worked and planned hard to make sure
that he succeeded in firstly gaining admittance to Princeton, and then
into a top merchant bank. Brian had envisioned just about all of his
future up to the age of thirty-five; in none of it was he either
dressed as a woman or romantically involved with another male. Whilst
no doubt homosexuals exist in merchant banking, he doubted they made it
very far up the hierarchy, their kind tended to end up in West Coast
discotheques rather than East Coast financial institutes.
The troubled youth found his fears mellowing as the second act got
under way. He was not, he realized, either turning gay or into a woman.
Looking back over the recent events he realized that he had felt most
at ease in the entwine roles of Mandy and Kyle's girlfriend when he had
had some control over events. Distress had occurred when he was alone
in the room with the older youth, not knowing his intentions, or semi-
naked in an alleyway. Now, he realized, that he had planned out the
entire relationship to its close he could afford to relax. Providing
that nothing came along to disrupt his plans, Mandy would soon cease to
be, and Brian would be free to get on with his future. This happy
thought in his head, Brian was able to turn his attention back to the
play.
As they left the production, Brian suggested a trip to the local branch
of ______ (hey, if big business wants me to do product placement, they
had better start waving checkbooks under my nose). Kyle agreed and they
crossed the road to the neon-lit fast food restaurant. After a few
minutes in a queue, followed by a selection of a number three meal for
Brian and a number four meal for Kyle, itself followed by a query as to
whether they wanted to supersize either of the meals (itself followed
by a polite no from Kyle), they were able to pay for and collect their
food and, finding a secluded table in the corner, sat down to eat.
`Do you think the store's top executives ever eat at these sites?'
asked Kyle. Brian made a small noise and looked at his date
quizzically. `It's just that I see all the pictures behind the counter'
continued Kyle, pulling apart a piece of processed chicken in a dry
coating, `and I watch the adverts on the television, and then I eat
here and the food looks totally different.'
Brian listened in silence to this, and was similarly quiet whilst his
date dipped the chicken nugget in some barbeque sauce and ate it. `I
often envision,' went on Kyle, `all of the company's top executives
sitting around a large oak boardroom table and these top French chefs
bringing in platters of burgers and chicken nuggets and other
comestibles that have been carefully prepared from the finest cuts of
meat for the top guys to try.
Then when the execs have all agreed how wonderful the food is, some
mid-ranking manager goes out, orders a load of cheap slop and arranges
for a vaguely similar item to be made in batches of half a million to
ship out to the stores. And all the while the top bosses wonder why the
meals their places produce have such a bad reputation.'
Brian chewed over and digested this monologue whilst similarly chewing
over and digesting his burger. Lowering his food and wiping his hands
on a paper napkin, he reached out his right hand and rested it gently
on Kyle's left wrist. `I'm glad you shared that with me,' he said
softly, `And it is good that you give such issues so much thought. But
please, will you do something for me.'
`Certainly,' came back the reply, `What?'
`Well it is just that obviously this is an issue you have considered
deeply, and honestly believe that a girlfriend might be interested in.
So for the sake of our relationship, please start wearing a helmet when
you play football. You're obviously turning your brain to mush at the
moment.'
Brian tried to keep a straight face as he told Kyle this, but the smile
started cracking through before the final sentence, and as Kyle laughed
at himself, Brian found himself reduced to an almost hysterical bout of
giggles. Finally when he calmed down, he felt his checks glowing a deep
pink. Kyle stroked a hand through Brian's wig, his hand coming around
to cup the face in his palm. `You're special,' he told tenderly Brian.
The younger youth gazed back at Kyle for a moment, before quickly
looking down at his plate. Pulling back, so that his face left Kyle's
hand, he busied himself drinking some of his strawberry milkshake.
After another three minutes had elapsed, both had finished their
meals, but no further words had been spoken. Kyle felt a touch
embarrassed by his date's reaction to his caress, but the younger
teenager would not make eye contact. They walked to the car in silence
as well, Kyle's hand around Brian's waist, the strong fingers stroking
up and down the close fitting velour material.
The drive back was similarly quiet, a few vague comments from Kyle
eliciting even quieter, vague responses from his date. Finally, the
older youth pulled into one of the residential side streets.
`Look,' he asked, irritated, `something is obviously wrong with me
saying that I think you are special, so what is it?'
Brian was silent for a moment. `I don't know.' he began. `I guess
part of me doesn't know where I want to go from here.'
For a moment more a hush descended over the vehicle, then Kyle reached
over and pulling Brian's face gently towards him and he kissed him long
and hard on the lips. At first Brian tried to resist, but then he gave
in and returned the kiss with equal passion. When their lips parted
and they moved their heads back, Brian's mind was working at breakneck
speed.
Kyle's simple statement in the burger joint had thrown him; he had
carefully planned out the end of the relationship but had overlooked
one vital factor, that being Kyle's feelings. It was one thing to
dispassionately decide to end the inconvenient masquerade as Mandy,
but quite another to toy with another person's feelings. Kyle had
always been nice towards Brian, even refraining from taking advantage
of his intoxicated state that first night, it would have been wrong to
not think of his feelings as well.
Kyle was similarly locked in conflict with a number of desires. First
and foremost, Kyle was a hot-blooded teenage boy; here he was sat in a
car with what looked like a hot young girl dressed in a sexy catsuit
that hugged her hips and framed her breasts. Not only that, but the
girl was in fact male, his preferred gender. On the other hand, Kyle
was a decent individual who not only recognized that Brian might not be
entirely at ease yet as Mandy, but also respected his date enough not
to try and force him to do anything that he might not wish to do. It
was something that Louise had said on that first night that broke the
deadlock and directed his actions.
According to Brian's older sister, Brian dearly wanted an intense
encounter with another male, even going so far as to give his first
blowjob; however, Brian felt apprehensive about embracing this desire
and yearned for someone to dominate him. Taking Brian as closely as is
possible in the front seat of a convertible, Kyle pulled their bodies
together, kissing his date on the lips and on the neck, his right hand
moving up and down Brian's back before alighting on the Velcro
fastening at the collar. Pulling it open, he took hold of the
front of the catsuit with his left hand and worked it down, so that it
hung around the breast area before folding out along the metal belt at
Brian's waist as Kyle's right hand went down and unzipped the back.
The breeze was fresh on Brian's torso and he felt his whole body
stiffen in fear. Kyle was acting rougher than usual, and Brian knew
that the older youth could easily overpower him. When Kyle's left hand
started to run across his breastforms, then his stomach before
descending into the ebony depths of the trouser part of the catsuit,
Brian almost wet himself.
His own hands trapped against Kyle's body, Brian felt his date's
fingers go under the pantyhose and play with the g-string of the thong
before moving along to the top of the small triangle of material at the
front. Two fingers explored under the satin undergarment and Brian felt
the pressure as they pushed along his penis. Brian pulled away and
pushed Kyle back so that the hand left his crotch.
They looked at each other for a moment, Kyle's brow creased in a small
frown. `Unzip me.' he commanded Brian, pulling the younger teenager's
right hand over his own crotch.
Scared of the look in his date's eyes, Brian complied. Guessing the
next command, and not wishing to hear the hard edge in Kyle's voice
again, he reached in and extracted the hardening penis from its bed.
It would be a lie to say that Brian had never masturbated. In truth
he had only done it a few times, feeling very guilty afterwards and
also rather annoyed at the mess it created. Brian did not like mess.
As his fingers moved up and down Kyle's shaft they trembled. He tried
to concentrate on something else, tried submerging himself in the role
of Mandy, but it was no good. Releasing the now very hard penis, he
swung his body around, his hands coming up to his face as he buried it
into the car door's lining, deep throaty sobs bursting out.
With the same momentum that Brian broke away, Kyle felt the spell
break. He was angry, very angry at the way that his date seemed to go
hot and cold on him. Brian needed to decide if he was going to be
Mandy, or Brian or Shirley f---ing Temple. A hot temper clouded his
vision but just as swiftly departed as he heard the crying from his
date and looked over at the scared huddled form next to him.
Guilt and sorrow swept over Kyle and he pulled Brian to him, the
latter at first resisting, but finally allowing himself to be pulled in
close, Kyle hugging his date in close, his words a mixture of soothing
sounds and apologies. Neither knew how long they sat like that, and it
was only the flash of a car's headlights as it turned into the avenue
that brought reality crashing back into their consciences. Kyle started
helping Brian to pull up the catsuit, only stopping and leaving his
date to continue unassisted when he noticed that his penis was still
hanging limply out of his trousers, pre-cum hanging like thick strands
of dew-covered cobwebs around the zipper. Embarrassed he pushed it back
inside and closed the opening, wiping the stain with the back of his
hand.
Brian was just resealing the Velcro strap when Kyle turned his
attention back to him.
`I'm sorry,' said Kyle.
Brian looked down. `So am I.'
`It's just that your sister told me that you wanted to be dominated,'
began Kyle, his words falling over each other, `She said that you were
scared to be Mandy but that you wanted to go further and we were
getting on so well and I don't know, I guess I just thought that. . '
Brian's finger on his lips silenced the apology. Kyle looked at the
younger boy's face now streaked with makeup and felt the guilt well up
inside him. He wanted to take Brian in his arms, and hug him and say he
was sorry over and over again. But he knew Brian would not like that.
`My sister lied,' said Brian quietly, `I never wanted to be Mandy.
Before that first night there never had been a Mandy.'
A hush fell back over the vehicle as Kyle took in this information
in. Finally he said, `I need a coffee.'
Their home town was not exactly a twenty-four hour metropolis, but
they managed to find a small diner that was still open when they
reached it just before midnight, Brian's curfew long forgotten. Brian
had wiped the smeared eyeliner and eyeshadow from his face, and before
they entered attempted to apply a fresh coating from the small compact
in his purse. The results were not terrible, but he still went to a
small table some way from the other patrons of the diner whilst Kyle
went and ordered the two coffees.
For the next three quarters of an hour, Brian related the events that
had brought Mandy into being and led to the pair of them becoming a
couple. Kyle listened in silence, frowning angrily when he heard about
the pressure tactics of his two team mates, but relaxing as Brian, to
his own surprise, defended them and explained that they had only been
looking out for their friend. Brian even admitted that his own
intention for that Thursday had hardly been noble, as he had planned on
leaving Kyle to wait for a date who would never arrive.
After relating how he had planned on ending the relationship in two
weeks, Brian said, `Tonight, when you said I was special, it made me
realize that I had been unfair to you. I was, in effect, leading you
on. I know I never wanted this relationship, but you were investing
emotional feelings into what I had only perceived as an unexpected and
unwelcome turn of events. I wondered whether I should be honest right
away and tell you that we had no future tonight. And then, his voice
started to quiver.
Kyle smiled grimly, `I then I go and spoil it all by saying something
stupid like `undo my zipper.'
The atmosphere was heavy for a moment and they both alternated
looking at each other with looking down and around. And then Brian
found himself giggling. He never meant to, and certainly the situation
didn't warrant it, but he could not stop himself giggling in Mandy's
coy way. The humor must have been infectious, as it even brought a
small smile to Kyle's lips. The sight of each other trying to suppress
the laughter was too much, and they fed each other's mirth until they
were both laughing loudly and drawing bemused looks from the other
people in the diner.
When they had calmed down, they finished the second cups of coffee
that they had ordered and headed back out of the door to the car.
They did not speak as they drove the nine blocks to Brian's home, but
as they parked just out of sight of the house, Kyle said, `So I guess
this is the end of Mandy then.'
`I'm sorry,' said Brian, `We had fun together, and I did enjoy it,
most of it, but I have such big plans for the future, I want more from
my life than just a passing pleasure. I can't jeopardize my future.
Besides, I was never really meant to be Mandy, it was just a rotten
joke by my sister.'
Kyle started to say something, but Brian put up a hand to stop him.
`Goodbye, Kyle.' he said, kissing him gently on the cheek.
`Goodbye, Brian,' came Kyle's response, as Brian left the car.
`Goodbye Mandy,' added Kyle softly as he watched Brian work his way
around the back of the house to sneak in quietly in case his parents
were home.
Continued in Part 4 of I Never Planned on Mandy - Here Now!