This work is fictitious, and any similarities to any persons, alive or dead, are purely coincidental.  Mention is made of persons in public life only for the purposes of realism, and for that reason alone.  Certain licence is taken in respect of medical procedures, terms and conditions, and the author does not claim to be the fount of all knowledge.
The author accepts the right of the individual to hold his/her (or whatever) own political, religious and social views, and there is no intention to deliberately offend anyone.  If you wish to take offence, that is your problem.
This is only a story, and it contains adult material, which includes sex and intimate descriptive details pertaining to genitalia.  If this is likely to offend, then don’t read it.
Unfortunately no politicians were injured or killed in the writing of this story, and no one else was either.
If you enjoyed it, then please Email me and tell me.  If you hated it, Email me and lie.
I will always welcome contact.
tanya_jaya@yahoo.co.uk

The legal stuff.
This work is the property of the author, and the author retains full copyright, in relation to printed material, whether on paper or electronically.  Any adaptation of the whole or part of the material for broadcast by radio, TV, or for stage plays or film, is the right of the author unless negotiated through legal contract. Permission is granted for it to be copied and read by individuals, and for no other purpose.  Any commercial use by anyone other than the author is strictly prohibited, and may only be posted to free sites with the express permission of the author.

Please enjoy.
Tanya

The Hard Way

By Tanya Allan

 

One

Ricky came pounding round the corner, almost knocking Kyle off his feet.

“Shit!” said Kyle.

“Fuck, sorry mate!” said the other, taking a quick look behind him before dashing off towards the school offices.

It was April 2003, the beginning of the summer term, the pair’s final term at school. Kyle’s friend Ricky Hamley had managed to seriously upset a couple of rugger buggers over some petty disagreement.  Ricky initially claimed he couldn’t even remember what it was all about.  All he knew was that they wanted revenge.  The two boys, Roger Filby and Pete Groves, were the two biggest and best rugby players and all round athletes to come out of their year. They were both hoping to get to prime universities with first-class sports teams.

They also took exception to Ricky’s prolonged presence on planet earth, seeking to remove it at every opportunity.

“They are so ignorant and stupid,” Ricky said later, as they met up again after school, while walking home.

Kyle nodded, adjusting his round, ‘John Lennon’ style spectacles.

“I mean, they are so wrapped up in themselves, they can hardly see out of their own assholes!” Ricky continued.

“They may well be, but it doesn’t pay to tell them that to their faces,” his friend said.

“Okay, so they’re bigger and faster than me, too.”

Ricky went quiet.

“So, what you want to do about it?” Kyle asked.

Ricky shrugged.  He was Kyle’s best friend.  Actually, to tell the truth, Kyle was his only friend.  They had grown up together, having met on their first day at school together all those years ago.  It wasn’t so much that they had a lot in common, they hadn’t.  It was more that they had both been together for so long that they didn’t really know anything else.

Both boys were average sized teenagers, the kind of boys that everyone instantly forgets.  Ricky had very short, shorn hair.  He preferred it short, as he was inherently lazy, so it required absolutely no effort at any time.

Kyle, on the other hand had unfashionably long hair, normally pulled back and restrained in a ponytail.  Everyone thought it was a statement of rebellion, which went with his baggy clothes and generally untidy appearance.  He wore the round glasses because he thought it made him look rather like the boffin in Star Gate.  It didn’t actually, but he was ignorant of that fact.

Actually, the truth was somewhat different. 

Kyle, at seventeen, was an intelligent and sensitive boy.  He was also a deeply troubled and recently an increasingly unhappy one. 

The youngest of three brothers, in an otherwise very happy home, Kyle realised when he was about five or six that nature had played a nasty trick on him.  He wasn’t sure what that trick was, but he knew that something wasn’t right.

His father, Jacob Manning, was a superb role model for any son.  He adored sports, so always spent as much quality time with his sons as he possibly could.  He was a strict parent, but caring and scrupulously fair. Never having had the inclination to hit any of his sons.  The respect they had for him was evident in all the boys’ behaviour and general demeanour.

The Manning boys were always considered the most polite and good-natured boys in every aspect of their lives.  Their mother, Rebecca, was as strict her husband, yet in a very gentle and loving way.

Jake was now a Managing Director of his own engineering firm specialising in components for the air-conditioning industry. They had bought out several smaller firms during the recession, and his was now one of the largest in the Home Counties. They had moved out to Abingdon from London when the boys were young.  They chose Abingdon because Rebecca’s parents lived there.  Her father had not been at all well, dying shortly after the move, so it was only fitting that they now lived in the same road as her mother.  Jake’s first works had been in London. He took the move as a step up and away from the stress of the large city. 

His grandfather was of Irish descent, lost now to the family in the midst of an English way of life.  However, he was the possessor a streak of temper that would be forever Irish, and it was restricted to those moments when fools displayed themselves in all their glory.  He adored his sons, but was fiercely proud and protective of them, with high expectations for each of them.

Kyle had been only four at the time of the move, so couldn’t remember the small apartment in London.  Rebecca was a pretty woman whose mother, Ingrid, was Swedish, having married an English doctor just after the Second World War and settled in Abingdon.  There was more than a hint of Norse in Rebecca’s high cheekbones and very fair hair. Ingrid had insisted that all three of her children had learned Swedish as well as English. As many of the family holidays had been spent in Sweden, the boys, Andrew and Steven, (Kyle’s uncles) had met and subsequently married Swedish girls, leaving only Rebecca with them in England. Only Andrew still lived in Sweden, as Steven and his wife Madeline had settled in Canada.

 Their house was bigger and more comfortable than anything they could have hoped for in London.  Jake was now fifty and just wanted to stay in work until all the boys were through further education. Stephen at twenty-three had recently qualified as a doctor, ironically, at the LondonHospital in the East End. Michael, two years behind him, was studying law, hoping to become a barrister.

That left Kyle, the baby, the only one still at home.  Whereas his brothers were broad, tall and somewhat rust coloured, displaying their Irish genes, Kyle was far more like his mother.  Slender and fair, he had similar high cheekbones, appearing far more sensitive, in both bone structure and temperament. Rebecca was very musical, so was delighted when their youngest son displayed some of her musical gifts.

As the two boys walked home through the town, Kyle listened to his friend as he listed terrible ways he could pour out retribution upon the two larger sixth formers.  Ricky was quite venomous in his hatred for the two boys, whereas Kyle had no strong feelings either way.  He accepted that sometimes Ricky seemed to attract shit, so he just let his friend rant for a while.

Kyle did not know the two boys in question, except by sight.  They took different subjects to him, as did Ricky for that matter.  It was a large school, as the sixth form was very big, so there was no reason to mix with many of the other students.

Kyle hadn’t wanted to stay on for A levels.  Not at this school, at any rate, but had done so to please his parents.  He had no real idea what he wanted to do.  Several years ago, Ricky told him he’d make a first class rock guitarist, so he had rather allowed himself to follow this with his long hair and scruffy image.  His two delights were his music and art, the latter he had taken as an A level, along with French.

They stopped at a shop to look at some new CDs and DVDs. Ricky was really into X-Box games, whereas Kyle was not.  He sometimes enjoyed them, but found them pretty brain numbing really.

While they were in the shop, a group of girls they knew walked past.  Kyle waved, Sally Crawford, one of his closer friends, smiled and waved back.  Pete and Roger were following. Roger shouted something that caused the girls to go red and walk hurriedly away.  Roger and Pete laughed, swaggering into the off licence.

Kyle was watching the girls with a wistful expression on his face.  His friend noticed and laughed.

“In your dreams, mate.  They are far too good for the likes of us!”

Kyle frowned slightly, as he digested what Ricky said.  Then he smiled, as his mind was far from where his friend believed it was.  Although he was seventeen, he didn’t look it.  He looked quite a bit younger, so this had made things harder, as he was the youngest in the year.  He had an August birthday, which meant he wasn’t eighteen until late summer.  Most of the others in his year were already eighteen, even Ricky.

Girls of his age were looking at twenty-year old boys, so he had never had much luck attracting girlfriends, although he did have several girls as friends.  In fact, he had many more female friends than male.  He seemed to relate to girls easier.

He smiled wistfully again, as he watched the girls walk out of sight.

“Those bastards!  I wonder what they said,” said Ricky.

Kyle shrugged.

“I heard Pete Groves bragging that he had the pick of all the girls in the upper and lower sixth,” Ricky said.

“So?”

“He’s a prat.”

Kyle watched the two boys walk out of the shop over the road.  They were big lads, over six feet, and broad.  They were built along similar lines to Kyle’s two brothers.  Kyle didn’t think either looked a prat. Pete was taller with fair hair.

Kyle looked at the boy.  He was a good-looking lad, with an easy smile and relaxed manner.  He was wearing jeans and an England rugby shirt. Unlike the similar shirt Kyle owned, Pete filled it and looked as if he could wear it for real.

 “Just what did you do to make them mad at you?” Kyle asked.

“Nuffin’.”

“Come on, guys like that don’t beat you up for nothing,” Kyle said.

“I,.. I may have said something,” Ricky conceded, somewhat reluctantly.

“Like?”

“I may have said they were poofs, or something.”

Kyle looked at his friend.

“You wanker! No wonder they beat you up. What on earth made you say something like that?”

“Pete asked Lucy Chalmers to the summer ball.”

“Who? Lucy, the little redhead in my French set?”

“Yeah.”

“So?”

“I wanted to ask her, so I thought I’d make her think again.”

“So, by spreading a rumour about them being gay, you thought she’d drop a gorgeous bloke for a skinny runt like you?”

“Oi, you ain’t no oil painting, you know!” Ricky said with a grin.

“Maybe not, but at least I don’t go spreading sick rumours about people.”

“It could be true.”

“So what if it is?  It doesn’t matter, does it?”

Ricky went quiet.  Kyle realised that his friend was his seeking support and he wasn’t getting it.

The boys separated and caught the necessary bus to their homes. Ricky was still muttering about revenge when Kyle left him.

“Hello dear, good day at school?” Rebecca asked, as Kyle walked into the kitchen.

“It was okay, I suppose.  I’ll be glad when it’s all over.”

“In my day we never got the study time at home that you seem to get.”

“Times change, Mum; I don’t stay home as much as some.  The History set seems to spend most of their time at home.  It’s all essays for them.  At least in Art and French, there is loads of practical stuff to do.”

“What are you going to do with your life?” she asked, a look of concern on her face.

Kyle shrugged, and flicked his hair back from his face, in an unconsciously feminine gesture.

Rebecca gazed at her youngest son, feeling a pang of regret tinged with guilt.

She had really wanted a daughter, as poor Kyle was so different to his brothers; it was almost as if nature was teasing her.  Kyle would have made a very pretty girl.

“I don’t want to go to Uni straight off.  I’m not eighteen yet, Mum, I want to see a bit of the world first.  I suppose I could take a year or two out, to see what life throws at me.”

“Your father thinks you could join the Special Constabulary.  That would give you a real taste of life.”

“Dad has always wanted one of us to join the Police, just because he always wanted to, but never got the chance.  I don’t think it’s me, do you?”

Rebecca smiled and shook her head.

“No, Kyle, I don’t.  But neither of us will ever make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

“That’s fine.  I just wish I knew what the hell I wanted to do.”

He went up to his room and switched on his computer.  He completed a French translation and then logged into his emails.  Sally Crawford had sent him a picture of a really fat lady.  Sally was fun, and the nearest thing he had to a girlfriend.  His father thought they were an item, but Kyle didn’t see Sally like that.  To him, she was just a good friend, who was neither threatening nor a romantic liaison.

Kyle logged into Sapphire’s Place.  He read a new story, feeling the guilt spread through his whole being as he related to the central character.  He had discovered the site by accident some months ago.  It had been like a punch in the gut.

He had felt unsettled and very unsure of himself for some time.  So much so, that he’d been sent to the school counsellor.  The counsellor had said that most teenagers felt the same, and it was something everyone went through.  However, Kyle wasn’t blind and neither was he stupid.  He could see his contemporaries, so he was able to ascertain that no one seemed to be quite like him.

He didn’t know why, as hadn’t any particular feelings that he could identify.  He knew he wasn’t gay, as he was not attracted to any of the boys.  He also knew he wasn’t exactly straight, either, as the girls he liked were as friends, but not as potential sexual partners. 

The whole sex thing was slightly disturbing.  He didn’t seem to be as highly sexed as his male contemporaries.  They seemed to talk about sex all the time. Indicating that when they weren’t talking about it, they were thinking about it.

He rarely thought about sex, and this disturbed him, as he felt that he should be.

Then he found Sapphire’s Place.

After reading Melanie’s Reluctant Girlfriend, he felt an enormous weight lift from his shoulders.  He also felt as if his world was about to come shattering down around his ears.  He was suddenly able to identify what he was. He found a semi-sexual arousal.  It was more emotional than sexual, as he experienced a warm feeling deep down whenever he thought about what he could have been.

It wasn’t at any image of a male or female, but at the simple concept of him as a male being transformed into a female, and everything that entailed.  The arousal was more spiritual than physical.  He just knew, for certainty, that he should have been a girl, and everything seemed to become clear.  The simple thought of being a girl made his innards feel excited and fluttery.

He couldn’t tell anyone, and that was so hard.

As he reflected on his short life, he felt an enormous sense of loss.  If only he had been born a girl, then everything would feel right!  He knew that due to his age, not a lot could have been done, even if he was aware and able to share it.

This secret became his new burden, so he began to wish he had never found out.

He had started to dress in his mother’s clothes when he had the house to himself. He had started with just underwear and then progressed to a complete change.  Makeup had proved difficult, but after a while, he managed to acquire some small skill, owed in part at least, to his artistic gifts and burning desire to be female.

As he looked at his transformed self, the guilt and inner frustration of the lie he was living, caused him to quit. He had never repeated the performance.  It was so painful to look at something he could never be, so he attempted to bury his inner feelings deep in his subconscious.

The shame, guilt, frustration and inner turmoil made Kyle an unhappy young man.

He heard his father arrive home, so he went down to greet him.  He loved both parents, and that was part of the problem.  He actually cared deeply about what they felt about life, as he believed that they would be deeply shocked and shamed by his secret.  He did not want to cause them any pain, despite the fact he was now in almost constant mental anguish.

Supper was quiet, and his father was obviously distracted by a contract that was proving troublesome, so he was not really able to give Kyle his full attention.

Kyle was content to slip back up to his room.  His mobile rang.  It was Sally.

“Hi Sal, what’s up?”

“Nothing, I was just wondering if you’d done your translation?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Yes.  It was quite easy, for a change.  What are you doing now?”

“Not a lot, just reading, why?”

“I got a call from Ricky.  What’s his problem with Roger and Pete?”

“Don’t ask.  It’s a long story.”

“I’ve time.  He seems to want people to gang up against them.  He asked me what they said this afternoon, just after I saw you in the Virgin store.”

“What did they say?”

“Not much, just something about Jane’s short skirt.  Mind you, it is short.”

“Ricky wanted to ask Lucy to go to the Summer Ball, but he heard that Pete asked her.  Then he started spreading a rumour that Pete and Roger are gay, in the hope that Lucy would change her mind, and he could ask her.”

“What a dick.  Lucy is going with Mark.  They’ve been going out for weeks!”

“Yeah, but you know Ricky.”

“I don’t understand why you two are so friendly.  He’s a real pain.”

“We go way back together,” Kyle said, not really able to explain it further than that.

“Anyway, Pete asked me after Lucy turned him down,” Sally said.

“Oh, and did you accept?” Kyle asked, feeling faintly jealous.

“Not exactly.  I told him I’d let him know.  Who have you asked?”

“I haven’t.  I wasn’t going to go.”

“Why not?  It’s our last one.”

“It’s just not my scene, Sal.  You know me.”

“Yeah.  That’s the problem.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Look, are you going to be in all evening?”

“I suppose.”

“Can I meet you?  I think we need to talk.”

“What about?” Kyle asked, frowning.

Sally laughed a nervous laugh.

“Oh, everything and nothing, life, you, me, just everything really.” she said, evasively.

“Okay.  Do you want to come here, or shall we meet somewhere?”

“It’s a nice evening, how about by the river?”

“Sure.  Fifteen minutes?”

“Fine.  Bye.”

Kyle frowned and disconnected.

He logged out of his computer, and went downstairs.

“I’m off out.  I’m meeting Sally,” he told his parents, who were sitting watching the TV.

“Okay.  Don’t be late.  You’ve school tomorrow,” his Dad said.

“I won’t.”

He went to the garage and wheeled out his scooter.  He had passed the final bit of the two-part test only three weeks ago, and he was pleased to be independent.  It took him five minutes to reach the car park just over the bridge on the Wallingford Road.  Sally’s Mini was already there, so he rode up next to it.

He parked and locked the bike, walked to the path by the river. He found Sally already waiting for him, sitting on one of the benches.  She was a pretty girl, with long auburn hair.  She was only an inch shorter than he was, and was developing a very curvaceous figure. He was very fond of her.

She smiled as he approached. There was a moment of awkwardness, as she looked as if she wanted to kiss him, and he appeared less inclined to do so.

“Hi, Kyle.”

“Hi.”

They sat for a moment, watching the ducks.

“So, what’s this about?”

“Kyle, I need to know something.”

He glanced at her.  She didn’t look at him, staring instead across the river.

“What?”

She turned and stared him right in the eye.

“This is going to sound lame, but what do you think of me?” she asked.

“Think of you?  In what way?”

“Any way.  I need to know.”

Kyle smiled.

“I think you’re great.  You’re more than a good friend. You’re my best friend and I’m very fond of you. Why?”

“Just fond?”

“Sal, why?”

She sighed, and looked down at her hands.  She picked at a hangnail, and seemed upset.

“Sally, have I done something wrong?” he asked.

She looked back at him, and he was surprised to see tears in her eyes.

“Oh, Kyle.  No, you haven’t done anything.  That’s the problem!”

“Problem?”

“Oh shit, Kyle! How thick are you going to be?  I love you, you daft sod!”

Kyle felt as if he’d been kicked in the belly.

“Oh,” he managed to say.

“Oh? I’ve fancied you for ages, and thought you felt the same way.  But you never said anything, even when I told you Pete asked me to the Ball. Am I so wrong?”

Kyle stared across the water.

“Kyle?”

“It’s not you, Sal.  It’s me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I do love you, but not like that.  As a friend.  More than a friend, but not a boy-girl thing.”

“Kyle, are you gay?” she asked.

It was Kyle’s turn to feel the sting of tears in his eyes.

“No, Sal, I’m not.  It would be easier if I was.”

“How do you mean?”

Kyle sat back at looked at the sky.  He’d have to tell someone eventually, so why not Sally?

“Sal, I’m not like everyone else.  I don’t really know how to explain it, but I’m just different,” he said, trying to work out how to say it without sounding foolish.

“In what way?”

“Look, I’ve never told anyone this, and I hope you won’t tell anyone. Sal, I feel I should have been born a girl.”

There, it was out, and he started to shake as the emotions started to well up.  Sally stared at him, and she started to realise what pressures he had been carrying and keeping locked up tight inside him.

She touched his hand and he started to cry.  She held him as he let his head fall onto her shoulder and the tears flowed.   He cried for a long time.  The release of pent-up emotions and tensions took ages to come out. She’d been dying to get this close to him, but these weren’t the circumstances she’d imagined.

“Shit, you poor sod!” she said, and he started to laugh.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, Kyle, I never knew.  How long have you felt like this?”

“It sort of dawned on me a few years back, I was about ten or so, but I knew something was wrong when I was very little.  I suppose I didn’t want to think about it too much.  I just knew that I wasn’t right as I am.”

“That explains a hell of a lot,” she said.

“What?”

“Just why you never came on to me, even when I gave you all the signals.  Shit, you’re just another girl at heart, aren’t you?”

He nodded and smiled, with little humour.

“Do you fancy boys?”

He shook his head.

“To be honest, I don’t think I fancy anyone.  I just want to find out who I really am first.”

She stroked his face, brushing his hair back from his cheeks.  She looked closely at him, and began to see him in a new light.

“Have you ever, you know, dressed up as a girl?”

He nodded.

“Ages ago, but I stopped because it wasn’t right.  Oh Sal, I want to be a real girl, not some drag artist!”

The tears of frustration welled up again, so she wiped his damp cheek.

“I’m so sorry Sally.  I’d really love to be the boy you thought I was.  I just can’t pretend very well.”

She smiled.

“Yeah, well, it’s not to be.  So, what do you say we make you into the girl you want to be?”

He shook his head.

“I don’t want to pretend.  Yes, I want to be a girl, but not just on the outside.” 

“You have to start somewhere.  Besides, I’m curious.”

“About what?”

“About what you’d look like.  I reckon you’d be stunning.”

“I’d be a boy dressed up as a girl,” he said, the bitterness seeping from every word.

“That depends of your mind-set.  If you start to build a female side, then you can be whoever you want to be.”

He frowned.

“Kyle, you don’t have to stay like this.  There are ways to change, these days.  It’s not such a big deal.”

“My parents…”

“Kyle, they have their lives, you have yours.  You must do what you can to be happy and fulfilled.  If it means changing stuff, then change!”

“It’s expensive.”

She looked at him.

“Are you frightened?”

He nodded.

“Then let me help you.  Come back to my place, and we can talk about it a bit more.”

He shook his head again.

“Not tonight.  I need to think about things.  You won’t tell anyone, will you?”

She smiled.

“No, of course not. Look, come by after school tomorrow.”

“Okay, maybe. Sally, I’m so sorry.  If you want we could go to the Summer Ball together?”

“Oh, we will, we will!” she said, but with a strange glint in her eye.

She gave him a hug and he left her.  She watched him walk off, his head hanging, and hands in his pockets.  He looked miserable.

2.

The school cafeteria was packed, so Kyle sat by himself in a corner.  Ricky was at the servery, and by the looks of things, he was in yet another argument with Roger Filby.

Sally came and sat with him.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah.  Thanks for listening last night.  I feel a bit better having told someone.”

She touched his hand.

“No problem, that’s what we girls do, stick together.”

He looked round in a panic, as he realised what she had said.

“Kyle, relax. It’s cool.”

“Sorry.  I guess I’m a bit sensitive.”

“I know.  It’s just I really do see you as a girl.  It explains so much.”

“So, are you going to come as my partner to the ball?” he asked.

“We’ll go together, but not as partners.”

He frowned, but couldn’t say anything as Peter Groves ambled over.  He sat opposite Sally, nodding amiably at Kyle without really seeing him.

“Hi Sally, had enough time yet?”

“Hmm, what’s it worth?”

He laughed, and shook his head.

“Ah, there is a long line of wannabes if you should turn me down!”

Sally looked slightly hurt, and Kyle could see a spark of resentment in her eyes.  So did Pete, so he immediately softened the statement by saying, “But of course you’re my first choice.”

“When do you want to know by?”

“How about this evening?”

“Oh?  The Ball isn’t until July.”

“I have to make plans,” he said, smiling.  He had a charming smile.

“I see, frightened that the best will all be snapped up?” she said, slightly sarcastically.

He just grinned.

“I guarantee that who ever I take will be the best,” he said.

“Oh, you never know, you may have to go with another bloke.”

“Not me!” he said and grinned again.  He was certainly rather arrogant.

“Well, I think you’d better ask a wannabe, because I don’t like being given short deadlines.” Sally said, and Pete looked a little crestfallen for a moment.  It was as if he wasn’t used that to being turned down by a girl who wasn’t obviously already going out with someone.

Kyle suppressed a grin of triumph, as he did feel slightly jealous, and yet he didn’t really want to go at all.

“Your loss, Sally.  If you change your mind, give me a ring this evening.”

He stood up and walked off.

“That self-opinionated sod!” said Sally, with some feeling.

Kyle was watching his as he wandered over to another group of girls.  There were many smiles and they made room for him to sit in their midst.

“He’s very good looking, and knows it,” he said.

“Oh-ho, fancy him do we?” Sally asked with a cheeky grin.

Kyle shook his head.

“Not really.  I’d rather be someone like that, in that he is in no doubt who he is.”

Sally took her friend’s hand.

“Is it that bad?”

Kyle looked into her eyes.  She saw the deep hurt and anguish he was suffering.

He nodded.

“I wish it wasn’t.  I so often just try to banish all my feelings, but they don’t go away. You have no idea how hard it is, fighting those feelings nearly every minute of every day.”

“Do they never go away?”

“Sometimes, if I get involved in something.  A couple of times I went for days without thinking about it.  But they came back even stronger, and that seems to be the pattern.”

Sally took his hand on top of the table, and gave it a squeeze.  She smiled and looked at her watch.

“I have to go. I have an assignment to pick up.  What time can you come round?” she asked.

“Um, I should be free after two.  I could come then.”

“Fine.  I’ll see you at two-ish, then,” she said, and they parted.

He arrived on his bike, just after five past two.  Sally lived quite close to him down the Radley Road.  The house was a detached home with five bedrooms, and was set back from the quiet road. He parked his bike out of the way and walked up to the front door.  Sally opened it before he got there.

“Hi, you okay?” she said.

Kyle nodded.

She took him in, and they went into the kitchen.

Sally had changed into a pair of shorts and a pretty top.

“I like your top, it suits you,” he said, as she poured them both a drink.

“That is so un-macho; you really are a girl, inside, aren’t you?”

Kyle reddened, and shrugged.

“I get fed up pretending to be something I’m not.”

They walked out onto the patio.  It was a warm May afternoon, and they sat on the swing seat.

She put the cold drink on the table.

“Who do you really want to be?” she asked.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really?”

“I want to be me, but female.  I want to feel I belong with my body, and wear clothes that express my true inner self.  I want to talk to people without pretending anything, and to be treated the way I want people to see me, without shame or guilt.”

“Is that all?” she asked, with a smile.

He laughed.

“It’s what everyone else enjoys, why not me?”

“Do you have a name for the real you?”

He shook his head.

“No.  I buried her almost as soon as I saw her.  I don’t want to be half a woman.  It’s a whole person, or not at all.”

“You poor thing.  Would you like to introduce her to me?”

“Not really.  The shame and guilt seems so strong that it’s almost unbearable.”

“Why do you feel shame and guilt?  It’s not as if you want to feel as you do, is it?”

“There are men and women.  I’m a man, so it must be wrong to feel what I feel.”

“Bollocks.  There are many genders and sexes.  Some even have a bit of both.  If you have a girl’s mind and soul, why shouldn’t you bring the rest into line?”

He shrugged, and looked at the pretty garden.

“You have a lovely garden.  Is it your Mum who does it?”

“Yeah.  Dad mows the lawn and digs the odd hole, but Mum does most of it.  I help sometimes and so does Mike.”

“Mike’s what, fifteen?”

“Yeah.  He’s away at boarding school at the moment.”

“Why didn’t you go?”

“I didn’t want to and when I was starting out, there wasn’t so much money.  Mum’s parents died and left her enough to send him away.  I was doing all right at school, but he was struggling, as he is dyslexic.  It has helped him a lot, and I like him not being in my face all the time. He was a right little pain.  Now, he’s fine and we get on much better.”

They sat in silence for a while.

“Kylie is a nice name,” Sally said.

Kyle smiled.

“Yes, it’s okay, I suppose.”

“Come on, Kylie.  Let’s you and me do something about this stubborn little sod!”

Kyle let himself be led upstairs to her bedroom.  It was a huge room.  It was the kind of room he’d love to have.  Light and airy, the décor was so obviously feminine, with pale greens and pink predominant. It was very neat and tidy, which he remarked upon.

“That’s the kind of girl I am,” she said, and then laughed. “Actually, I tidied up because you were coming.”

He stood there, feeling self conscious and awkward.

“Will you mind if I do this?” she asked him.

“It depends.  What are you doing, and why?”

“I’m trying to help you to be the person you want to be.  I want to set you free of your self-imposed chains.”

He shrugged.

“Oh, Kyle, you are so infuriating! Look, if you carry on like this, you’ll end up slitting your bloody wrists, and that would be such a waste!”

“It has crossed my mind.”

She looked at him, and held both his hands.

“Oh, you poor soul.  It’s time we did something.  You can’t go on like this.”

Kyle shrugged again.  Events were overtaking him, so he felt he was losing control.  He found he didn’t mind that much, and was mildly curious as to where this would take him.

“Do what you think is right,” he whispered, on the verge of tears again.

“Not with you like this.  You either get into this willingly, or not at all.  I just wish you could stop feeling so bloody sorry for yourself, and get a grip.  You can change.  You can make a life for yourself as the person you want to be.  But you have to want to do it, and you need to be strong!  If you are all wishy-washy, then I can’t help, and I don’t think anyone else can either.”

Sally was quite cross now. This surprised Kyle and shocked him a little too.

He shook his head, as if to clear the fog away.

He looked at Sally, and she thought she saw a change in his expression.

“Sorry Sally.  I know.  It’s tough, but I really do want to be someone else.  I just don’t have the bottle to go for it.”

“No sweetie.  You just want to be you, and stop being the person you should never have been!”

He smiled. She thought he had such a sweet and gentle smile.

“Whatever.”

“What do you want to be?”

“A girl.  I want to be a girl.”

“Then girl, go take a shower, wash your hair and shave all your hairy bits.  Us girls have to make an effort to look as good as we do!”

Kyle allowed himself to be pushed into a large spacious bathroom, and was handed a razor and a towel.

Not overtly hirsute at the best of times, he shaved his legs and armpits.  His face was still bereft of beard growth, so he didn’t want to encourage it by shaving now.

He dried himself off, clearing the plughole of the pile of fine fair hairs.

Wrapping the towel around his waist, he returned to the bedroom to find Sally sorting through her wardrobe.

She pointed to her stool in front of her dressing table.

“Sit!”

He sat.

She blow-dried his hair, brushing it back from his face and tying it back with a scrunchie.

Kyle relaxed and sat back and let Sally apply makeup to his face.  She then shaped and varnished his fingernails.  He wasn’t able to see his reflection in the mirror, and she deliberately didn’t allow him to.

“Not until I’ve finished.  There’s only one person here who needs to be convinced of the reality of Kylie, so just be patient.”

She fitted him with one of her bras with nylons bulking out the cups, looking the other way as he stepped into a pair of panties, tucking his genitals away tightly out of sight. He showed her that he was not new to this, by slipping a pair of tights on with no difficulty, and then he put the skirt on that she handed him.

“It’s just as well we are roughly the same size.  You’re a little taller, but that shouldn’t matter much.  Shoes may be a problem, as I’m a six,” she said.

“I’m a seven.”

He was very slim and, if anything, actually had a slightly feminine figure in any case, but as he did up the buttons of the blouse, Sally restrained herself from gasping aloud.

He did not just look very pretty; he looked stunning!

She appraised his appearance critically.  The clothes accentuated his slim build, yet his girlish hips and behind were in keeping with his new persona.  She frowned, as his very slender waist was the real feminine feature, as he went in where most boys went straight down.

It wasn’t his outward appearance that had changed the most.  His demeanour and expression had profoundly altered.  It was as if a huge dark presence was removed, as suddenly his eyes shone with a new light.  His shoulders were back and the new Kyle seemed to be alive properly for the first time since she had known him.

“Shit!” she said.

“What?” he asked, worried.

“Kyle, I’m not so sure this is a good idea.”

“Why?” he asked, his heart sinking.

“Because,” she said, moving the wardrobe door, so he could see himself in the full-length mirror. “There is no doubt that you’re meant to be a girl!”

Kyle stared at his reflection, his mouth slightly open and his brain in complete turmoil. He had dressed before, even putting some of his mother’s makeup on.  However, he had never managed to look quite like this.

He moved, trying to see as much of himself as the mirror would allow.  He kept getting flashes of crimson as his nails displayed their fresh varnish, and as he glanced down, the two gentle mounds purporting to be breasts made him feel very strange.

The feel of the nylon tights against his now hairless legs was wonderful.  In fact, the whole experience was wonderful, and he stood, spellbound at the vision he had become.

He became aware that Sally was talking to him.

“Eh?”

She burst out laughing.

“You haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?”

He grinned, sheepishly, shaking his head.  His hair, now lying across his shoulders in waves, swished gently against his cheeks. He adored the feeling.

“How do you feel?” she asked.

Kyle frowned, as he thought about the question. As he thought, the light in his eyes dimmed, and his shoulders started to slump again.

“Well, firstly shocked and surprised.  I never imagined I’d look like this.  Secondly, I feel as if I belong like this, and it’s right, but I feel amazingly guilty and frustrated that I never will look like this for real.”

“Why do you feel guilty?”

“I guess because I feel I am letting everyone down.  My folks, myself and everyone.”

“Why?”

“Because I shouldn’t look like this.  I was born something else, so I was meant to be that person.”

“So, you are meant to go through life miserable and in the wrong body?”

“It’s not like that….” He started say, and then couldn’t finish.

“Isn’t it?”

He smiled, and shook his head.

“I’m confused.  I know what I should be, but I know what I feel like right now.  I just don’t know anything any more.”

Sally saw that her friend was on the verge of tears.

“Oh, Kylie, sweetheart, don’t cry!  I spent ages on your makeup, and you’ll bugger it completely if you cry,” she said and he started to laugh.

She took both his hands in hers.

“Kylie, you are who and what you are.  If this is the real you, then you have to allow yourself to be who you want to be.  You can’t expect to hide it away, and you’ll simply have a breakdown if you try.”

“I can’t, Sal, I just can’t. How can I be like this at school, or with my parents?”

Sally’s expression was one of sympathy touched with a little anger.

“Oh Kylie, don’t you see it?  This isn’t about making your parents happy; it’s about making you happy.  They have their own lives, so you have to live yours.  You have to be honest to you first.  Why should you live a lie for them, when you are so unhappy?  Don’t you think they actually would want you to be happy?”

“Yes, but this?” he said, gesturing to his now feminine looking body.

“Shit, Kylie, whatever.  At least you aren’t gay!”

He started to laugh at that, and she joined in.

“We need to get you some shoes, though.  My feet are far too small for you.”

He looked at her, horror on his face.

“I can’t stay like this!”

“Why not?”

“Because…..”

“Seriously, why not?”

“Sally, I can’t.  I’m a boy, remember?”

She pointed to the mirror.

“Look there.  My eyes don’t see a boy, do yours?”

Kyle stared at his reflection.

The girl stared back.  A glint of defiance appeared in those sparkling blue eyes.  The makeup accentuated her eyes and with her full lips and high cheekbones, there was no doubt she was stunningly attractive.  There was no hint of the boy within. A small smile changed her whole visage. The eyes smiled, as the smile turned into a grin.  She tossed her head and her hair swished again. She lifted her chin, and Sally saw the re-emergence of the girl who’d been trapped inside.

Sally suddenly had an idea.

“Don’t go away!” she said, and dashed to her mother’s room.  She flung open her wardrobe, looking at the shoes littering the bottom.  She found one pair of open-toed, high-heeled sandals and rushed back.

“Try these,” she said.

Kyle did so, and they were slightly small.  Not a lot, but Sally could see they were a half size too small.

She looked at her watch.  It was two forty, and her parents weren’t due back until after five thirty.

“Let’s go shopping.  You need your own clothes,” she suggested.

“Sally, I can’t!” Kyle said, panic in his voice.

“Why not?”

“Like this?”

“Why not?”

“Everyone will see me!”

“So?”

“But, I’m a boy!”

“Not from where I’m standing, you’re not.”

“What happens if I meet anyone we know?”

“Then we’ll introduce you as your cousin, or something. Your Gran’s Swedish, how’s your Swedish?”

“My Swedish? It’s okay, why?”

“You look really Scandinavian, so I thought we could introduce you as your Swedish cousin, here on a visit.  You look older than me, so you could be on your year out or something.”

“Sally, this is getting really complicated, do we have to?”

“Look, if you can’t be you, then we must give you a story that is believable, and hard to check.  We have loads of people who speak French, German and Spanish, but no one speaks Swedish, do they?”

“Yeah, but neither do I, not fluently, remember?”

“You know more than anyone else. And you know enough to put on the correct accent.”

“What happens if someone does speak Swedish?”

“Then I got it wrong, and you are Norwegian or Danish. Shit, Kyle, I just want you to be able to explain why no one has ever seen you before, and why you will disappear.  If you can do better, then be my guest!”

Kyle was silent.

“Okay, let’s try and avoid people, I can’t face that kind of hassle, okay?”

Sally cheered inside.  The fact he was willing to go out like this was a small triumph.  Now she had to persuade him to tell his parents.  That was going to be hard.

3.

Sally had been given a Mini for her eighteenth birthday present.  She unlocked it, and immediately observed that Kyle adopted naturally feminine habits in relation to getting into the car whilst wearing a skirt.

She had her shoulder bag, so she persuaded Kyle to carry one as well.  He only had his wallet and mobile in it, as the absence of pockets was annoying him.  

Sally drove out of the drive and immediately turned left, away from the centre of town.

Kyle frowned.

“Where are you going?”

“Oxford.  There are crap shops in Abingdon,” she said.

“Oxford? Shit, Sally, I can’t go to Oxford!”

“Yes, you can.”

“I can’t!”

“Then you sit in the Park and Ride car park.”

“Shit, you can be such a cow at times!”

Sally chuckled.

“And you, darling Kylie, can be a stubborn, spiteful, little bitch!”

Kyle fell silent, and Sally risked a glance at her friend.

He was looking miserable.

Sally said nothing, but concentrated on getting onto the ring road without being crushed by a truck.

“Sorry Sal,” Kyle said, at last.

“Just remember, I am on your side.  I know this is daunting, I just felt there was less chance of us meeting anyone we know in Oxford.  It’s full of tourists and students.”

“The university isn’t back yet.”

“Maybe not, but all the foreign students will be there.  So another Swede is one of a crowd.”

He smiled slightly, having to agree that Oxford was a better shopping area.

Sally parked in the Park & Ride car park and they ran for the bus.  Kyle found the shoes awkward, so he was taking much smaller strides.  Sally got on first, and the driver glanced at the two pretty girls as they clambered aboard.

The first, darker, girl was more filled out, and was very pretty. But the taller girl, the slim blonde, had the most amazing smile and superb legs. He watched them in the mirror as they walked down to the back of the bus. He was glad he had two sons, he would hate to think of having a daughter wandering about looking like that.  They grew up so damn quickly.

Kyle felt very conspicuous; convinced that everyone was looking at him.

Three young men were sitting in the very back row, so the two ‘girls’ sat on the bench, half way down the bus, with their backs to the side windows.

The lads were all late teens early twenties, and were casually dressed.  They were openly looking at the girls, obviously talking about them amongst themselves.

“They know!” he whispered to Sally.

“No, they don’t!”

“How do you know?”

“Trust me.  If they knew or suspected, they wouldn’t be looking like that!”

“Like what?”

“Like they think you are a very attractive girl.”

“Then, it’s you they are looking at, not me.”

“Kylie, get real.  They are looking at both of us, and those long legs of yours are like jam to bees!”

Kyle was quiet for a moment.

“If I’m supposed to be Swedish, then ‘Kylie’ is hardly Scandinavian,” he whispered.

“Okay, how about Kayla?”

Kyle shrugged.

“Is it Swedish?”

“Shit, how the hell do I know?  It sounds foreign enough. Do you like it?”

“What about a surname?” he whispered.

Sally started to giggle.

“What’s so funny?”

“You, you’re at last getting into this.”

He smiled, and his face, once more transformed.  Sally could not believe just how pretty her friend was.

“How about ‘Olsen’?  It’s my Gran’s maiden name?” Kyle suggested.

Sally nodded.

“Okay, Kayla Olsen.  It sounds quite good!”

Sally smiled, and tucked her arm through Kyle’s. He looked down and saw the red fingernails on both their hands.  He felt a warm glow spread throughout his lower abdomen.

“God, Sal, this is so weird.”

“Why?”

“It feels so strange.  I mean, I like the feelings, but it just feels so strange.”

“Are you turned on?”

“What, you mean sexually?”

She nodded.

He frowned as he thought about it and then shook his head.

“No, not a twinge, if that’s what you mean.  But it’s as if my soul is singing.”

She smiled, and gave his arm a squeeze.

“Then let it sing for all it’s worth.”

The bus came to a halt and they got off; closely followed by the boys.  The boys turned left, and with a couple of final appraising glances, they went their own way. Kyle felt relieved and smiled again.

“How much do you want to spend?” Sally asked.

Kyle shrugged.

“I’ve a couple of hundred in my account, but I can’t use my card, it’s in a boy’s name,” he said.

“Then get out a hundred from the cash point, and we’ll stay within that limit.  I think you should get a decent pair of shoes, some underwear and a couple of outfits, like a skirt and a couple of tops.”

“Sal, I can’t get underwear with these!” he said, looking down at his bra filled with tights.

“We’ll manage.”

They then spent an hour in loads of different shops. Sally borrowed a measuring tape in one shop, and ascertained Kayla’s sizes.  Marks and Spencer’s had a sale on, and they picked up three bras and a pack of five assorted panties for a very reasonable price.

“I get all my ordinary everyday undies here.  It’s good quality stuff, and not that dear.  For posh stuff I go to the lingerie shops,” Sally told her bemused friend.

In the end, they bought seventy pounds worth of assorted tops, skirts, accessories and makeup. 

“Shoes!” said Sally, and pulled a flagging Kyle into a shoe shop.

There were quite a few people in the shop, so the pair wandered amongst the shoes, and Kyle tried to find something he liked.

He found high heels awkward and difficult to manage, but he loved the way they looked.

Some of the current fashions included really pointy toes and chunky heels.  He didn’t like them at all. Then he found an elegant shoe in dark blue suede.  It had a reasonably high heel, and was a lovely shape overall.  He tried on the size seven and it was a little tight.  He tried the half size larger, and it felt really comfortable.

He took it to the assistant, a young man who was suffering from a terrible attack of acne, wearing a badge telling the world that he was Dave.

“Yes, Miss?”

“Do you haf ze oder haf of zis, pliz?” he asked, keeping his voice quiet and as feminine as he could, and in what he believed was a Swedish accent.  He felt ridiculous.  Unbeknown to him it came out as such a sexy and sultry voice that young Dave felt the familiar stirrings of an erection in his trousers.

Feeling self conscious and woefully inadequate, Dave flashed his most sophisticated smile at the vision of loveliness that stood before him.

“I’ll go see, Miss,” he said, dashing off to find the other shoe.

Sally laughed and came over to her friend.

“Well Kayla, you got his motor going.”

“I did not!”

“Why has he got a bulge in the front of his trousers, then?”

Kyle was shocked, but part of him was secretly quite pleased.

The lad came back, clutching the shoes as if they were the Holy Grail.

Kyle sat down, and allowed Dave to fit the shoe for him.  Dave could not help looking at those amazing legs, and his erection was making him feel uncomfortable.  When he had left school at sixteen and got this job, all his mates laughed at him and took the piss.  He grinned to himself, as they would eat their hearts out if they could see him now!

Kyle felt the lad touch his legs, perhaps unnecessarily, and was aware of the young man’s flushed face. He stood up and walked about in the shoes.  They felt great, far better than the sandals. They were also within budget, just.

“I’ll take zem,” he said, remembering the accent just in time.

He kept them on, and walked over to the till with Dave.

He rang in the sale, and Kyle paid the cash.

“Are you on holiday?” Dave asked.

“No.  I yam exchange student vrom Stockholm.”

“Oh, wow, cool, in Oxford?”

“Er, no.  I yam visiting my mudder’s cousin, in Abingdon.”

“Well, I hope you have a lovely time.  Come back anytime,” Dave said, flushing when the girl smiled back at him.

“Tank you. You are kind, I tink.”

He watched as the pair of girls walked out, wondering why the darker girl was giggling so much.  He’d sell his soul for a girl friend like the blonde!

“Sally, you are so awful!” Kyle said, grinning.

“Oh, you need no help in being a girl. That voice, it’s amazing, where did the accent come from?”

Kyle smiled and shrugged.

“I dunno. I just sort of thought in Swedish.”

“It’s brilliant!  I thought he was going to have an accident in his pants.”

“Sally!  That’s awful.”

“Maybe, but he was turned on just by your legs and your sexy voice.  He’s probably having a wank in the storeroom just thinking about you.”

“Sally!” Kyle was shocked, but realised that he was strangely pleased to have had such an effect on the boy.

They caught the bus back to the car park, and then Sally drove them home.

She made Kyle show off his new purchases, shaking her head at the amazing transformation he had gone through.

“You look wonderful.  How do you feel?”

Kyle sat on Sally’s bed, smiling.  It was a smile that came from the very depths of his being.

“Sally, I think I am happy for the first time in my life. No, I have been happy before, but this is something so much deeper.  This, is who I am!” he said, simply.

Sally smiled, and went over and put her arm around Kyle.  They had a cuddle.

“Okay, Kayla, the next step is the toughie.”

“Next step?”

“Oh, Kyle, you can’t just do this every now and again.  If this is you, then eventually this is going to be you twenty-four/seven. There is only one thing you have to do, and soon.”

“What?”

“You have to tell your parents.  They have to know.”

“Shit, Sally, I can’t!”

“You have to.  Not yet, maybe, but if you are going to have a chance at leading a happy life, you need to go to doctors and your parents have to be part of this.”

“I can’t”

“Kyle, think for a moment.  Your parents are great people.  They love you and they want what’s best for you.  It isn’t as if you are going to deliberately make a spectacle of yourself.  As long as you are sensible and discrete, they will probably support and help you all they can.  You have to trust them.  If they don’t, then you can make decisions, but I think they’ll support you.”

“Maybe, but not yet,” he said.

“Soon.  You can’t leave it that long.  You can keep your clothes here for the moment, but eventually you are going to have to come out!”

“There’s school.  I can’t do anything until the end of term.”

“I agree, but then you have to!”

Kyle nodded and Sally looked at her clock.

“Come on, my parents are due back soon.  You’d better change.”

Reluctantly, Kyle changed back into his old clothes.  They took off his makeup and nail varnish, and he resumed the dejected pose with which Sally was very familiar.  With his hair pulled back into the ponytail, very little evidence remained of the stunning girl who had been here moments before.  The light in his eyes had been extinguished.

She gave him a hug, putting away the clothes in her wardrobe.

“Do you want to look on Ebay for some boobs?” she asked.

“What?”

She laughed at his reaction.

“They sell breast forms on Ebay.  Crossdressers and mastectomy victims often use realistic boobs, and Ebay sells them cheaper than anywhere else.”

“How the hell do you know this?” Kyle asked, surprised.

“I had a look last night.  The even sell female hormones, but I don’t think that would be very safe.”

She logged into Ebay. Kyle was amazed at the vast range of products available.

“I had no idea,” he admitted, as they scrolled through the seventeen pages of breast related products.

She persuaded him to put a bid in for a pair of silicone breast forms that were in the auction ending in six hours.

“I’m already registered, so shall I go up to fifty quid for you?”

Kyle nodded, aware that his life was changing rapidly, and he was in danger of losing control.  He wasn’t that certain that he minded, as something happened today that made him feel like a real person for the first time.

He gave Sally a hug, and left on his scooter.

Supper was a quiet affair.  Kyle was lost in thought and his parents were both quite worried about him, they had been for a while.  He was always a quiet lad, and this evening was no different.  Rebecca had started to suspect that all was not well with him some years ago.  As it happened that was at the time he was experimenting with cross-dressing that first time.

Jacob, his father, was a very astute judge of people, and he was as certain as he could be that Kyle was beset with problems.  The couple had talked over what they should do, and had concluded that it would have to come from him.  They tried to get him to open up, but he never complained, neither did he admit to any troubles at school or with his personal life.

Jake looked at his son, and Kyle would hardly meet his eyes.  After supper, he helped wash up and then went up to his room.

“He’s not right!” Rebecca said.

“I know.  I wish he’d speak to us.”

“Oh, Jake, what can we do?  He’s been like this for months!”

“Shall I front it out and just ask him?”

She looked down, and then looked at her husband.

“Jake, don’t get angry, but I think he may be gay,” she said, quite timidly.

He smiled and wrapped a large arm around his wife.

“I came to that conclusion ages ago.  Did you see his fingers?”

“His fingers?”

“His nails, they are shaped and pointed.  There are dark remnants in the cuticles.  He’s been wearing nail varnish.”

“Oh dear God!  The poor soul.  We need to tell him we still love him regardless.  He’s probably too afraid of what we’ll do or say.”

“I’ll do it now.  Give me a few minutes, then join me,” Jake said, and then went up stairs.

Kyle was doing his school assignment and his father knocked on his door.  He got up and opened the door, leaving it open, he returned to his computer.

Jake sat on his son’s bed.

Kyle wanted to tell him everything, but something prevented him from doing so.

“What’s up, Dad?”

“Kyle.  This can’t go on,” Jake said, in a very caring tone.

“What?”

Reaching out, Jake took hold of his son’s hand.

“Kyle, give me credit for being neither blind nor stupid. We’ve known something has been troubling you for ages.  We’ve left you alone, because we believed you’d share it with us when you were ready.  But you aren’t going to, and it’s eating you up.”

Jake turned Kyle’s hand over, looking down at the very feminine looking hand that lay in his large masculine one.

“When your mother was expecting you, she was hoping for a girl.  We already had your brothers, so she felt a girl would redress the balance.  But you popped out and we were all delighted.  You were a very pretty baby, and even the midwife thought you were a girl to start with.  We were delighted that you were a healthy little boy, and what little disappointment your Mum felt was soon swept away with the joys of having a lovely son.

“We love you Kyle, we have done from the moment you were conceived, and nothing will ever come in the way of that.  We can see you are hurting, and I want you to know that we will accept you no matter what an awful person you think you might be.  Will you not trust us enough to share your troubles with us?”

Kyle felt the emotion well up inside him and he had difficulty controlling himself.

“Kyle, are you gay?  We won’t hate you for it,” his father said.

The tears started, and Kyle couldn’t speak.  This moment was one he had dreaded for as long as he could remember. He shook his head, and then his mother came through the door.  She had a look of such love and concern, the dam broke and Kyle started to sob his heart out.

His parents held him for a long time.  With simple words of love and encouragement, he gradually managed to stop his outburst.

“I’m sorry.  I never knew how to tell you.  I still don’t!” he said.

“Try the truth, I’ve found it is the simplest way,” his father said, with a smile.

“Are you gay, sweetie?” his mother asked.

“Oh, Mum, if only it was so simple.  No, I’m not gay. That is I don’t fancy boys.  I don’t fancy girls either.  I just want to be a girl. I’ve always felt I was one, inside!” he blurted out.

There, he’d said it, and a huge weight lifted off his shoulders.  It was with his parents now, so he waited for the reaction.

“That’s all?” his father said, smiling.

Kyle started to laugh.  The relief and emotion of the moment threatened to give him hysterics.

His parents simply held him.  Jake’s mind was whirling.  It was not what he expected, he had expected Kyle to admit to being gay, but this was wholly different.

Rebecca, suddenly saw her son in a whole new light.  She had wanted a daughter, so she began to realise that perhaps she may very well achieve that ambition, albeit somewhat later than planned.  She said nothing; she just smiled, showing her love to her son through her embrace.

Kyle suddenly felt so guilty he had not told them before, and tried to apologise.

Jake shushed him.

“Kyle, what’s done is done.  We need to decide where you go from here.”

Kyle nodded.

“You must finish school and your ‘A’ levels.  However, there is nothing stopping you seeing the doctor and getting all the options as early as you can.  I have no idea what they might be, but together we will get you through this.  We want what is best for you.  If that means I lose a son and gain a daughter, I can live with that.  Just don’t ever feel we don’t support you all the way, okay?”

Kyle was shaking with relief. He simply nodded.

“Does anyone else know?” Rebecca asked.

“Only Sally.  I told her today.”

“How come?” His father asked.

“I never realised it, but she fancied me rotten.  A guy asked her to the Summer Ball, but she was waiting for me to ask her.  She fronted me about it and told me how she felt about me.  I just told her the truth.”

“How did she react?”

Kyle smiled.

“I went round to her house and she turned me into a girl.  We spent the afternoon shopping in Oxford.”

Jake smiled and shook his head.

“Kyle, wasn’t that a bit dangerous?”

“I don’t think so.  I looked the part and pretended to be a Swedish exchange student.  The guy in the shoe shop even fancied me,” he said, going red.

“How did you feel?” his mother asked.

“When, as a girl?  Wonderful.  As if I was alive for the first time.”

Jake nodded.  He didn’t really understand what his son was going through, but he knew that this was not a problem that he could solve.

“Kyle, we need to make an appointment with Dr Hillier.  I have a feeling that the road you are going to travel will be long and difficult.  So, perhaps it is best to start as soon as possible,” he said.

Kyle nodded.

“I’m sorry Dad, Mum.  I didn’t ask for this,” he said.

“We know that, but you’ve got it and we’ll deal with it as a family, okay?”

Kyle looked at his father, and cried at the depth of this tough old businessman’s love.

“Thanks, Dad, I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.”

“You’ve told us now, so it’s our joint problem, okay?”

Kyle nodded.

His parents gave him a hug and left him alone.  He sat on his bed feeling drained.

His mobile rang, and he answered it.

It was Sally.  She informed him that he was now the proud owner of a realistic pair of silicone breast forms, at forty-two pounds. He had won the bid.

“When will they arrive?”

“In a couple of days, I suppose.”

“I told my parents,” he said.

“No!  When?”

“Just now.  Dad noticed a trace of nail varnish on my nails, and the fact they are all pointy and girly, forever observant. He thought I was gay. Mum did too.”

“Oh, well done you. How did they take it?”

“As you thought they would.  I can’t believe how lucky I am.  I’ve been reading about transsexuals who are thrown out by their parents, and have a really rotten time.  I think they are making an appointment to see a doctor this week.”

“That quick? Shit, Kyle, this is wicked!”

“Yeah, it’s terrifying.”

“So, you’re going to be a real girl?”

“I’ll never be that, but I try to be the next best thing.”

“Don’t you believe it.  You are more a girl than so many real girls I know!”

Kyle smiled.

“Does this mean you want your clothes at your place?”

“I hadn’t thought about it.  I suppose so.”

“Can I come over now?  I can bring them and chat to your parents.”

“If you want.”

She was gone.  Ten minutes later her Mini pulled up on the drive, and Sally was ringing the doorbell.

Rebecca let her in, so the family went into the sitting room.  Sally was carrying the clothes in some carrier bags.

Kyle felt embarrassed as they discussed his ‘condition’.  Sally had been researching the whole subject on the Internet, and had printed off pages of stuff about sex changes.  Jake put on his spectacles, and seemed very interested.

Rebecca looked at the bags.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“These are the clothes that we bought Kayla this afternoon.”

“Kayla?” Rebecca asked.

“That’s the name we decided on. Kayla Olsen, from Stockholm.  We thought we’d be safer that way.”

“Olsen, that’s Mama’s maiden name,” Rebecca said.

“I know.  That’s why I chose it,” said Kyle.

Jake looked up.

“In my experience, the bigger the lie, the more shit you land in.  Keep things simple and as close to the truth as you can,” he said, and went back to his reading.

Sally flushed and grinned sheepishly at Kyle.

Rebecca asked to see the clothes, so Sally passed over the bags.  She took out the bras and panties, looking a little shocked.

Kyle blushed and felt really embarrassed.

Jake looked up, over the top of his spectacles.

“You said you passed for a girl. Well, if you don’t mind, would you show us?”

Kyle suddenly felt afraid, but Sally grinned and took his hand, dragging him upstairs.  Rebecca brought the bags, leaving Jake reading the Internet material.

Rebecca sat on her son’s bed and watched Sally transform Kyle into the daughter she never thought she’d have.  They even replaced the nail varnish and applied the new makeup.

Wearing a new top and a denim skirt they’d bought, Kyle slipped his new shoes on.  He was shaking and felt about as nervous as he could remember.  Yet he also felt more of a girl, simply because his mother was watching.

With his hair brushed out, looking simply radiant, he turned towards his mother and smiled.

Rebecca was lost for words, but the tears that rolled down both cheeks, spoke volumes.

“You are beautiful!” she said at last, hugging her new daughter.

They went downstairs, arm in arm, with a grinning Sally bring up the rear.

Jake looked up as they entered the sitting room.  He was rather afraid of the possible result of his suggestion.  However, he felt that it needed getting out of the way, if the barriers were to be broken down with Kyle.

Nothing had prepared him for what he saw.

The girl who came into the room with Rebecca looked so like her, he was quite shocked to realise that Kyle resembled his mother so closely.

There was nothing about Kyle, that he could see, that suggested he was a boy.  His demeanour, gestures and mannerisms were all feminine and graceful.  Kyle’s whole deportment had changed, and he couldn’t help but notice that the smile was genuine and reflected a deep contentment.

He experienced a deep and sudden sense of loss, as he realised that the Kyle he had known would never really be the same.  Yet, this creature, who was still his child, seemed more alive and vibrant than Kyle had ever been.

Jake stood up, taking off his glasses.

“Give us a twirl then, girl,” he said. Kyle grinned and held both arms out to his side, spinning three-sixty degrees.

Jake swallowed.  He knew this was his youngest son, yet every sense in his body told him he was looking at a girl. As a seasoned manager, with more than thirty years experience, he thought that he had seen just about everything there was to see.  He had dealt with many individuals whose gender was in that grey area somewhere between male and female.

He fully expected his son to fall in this category. He was amazed and pleased that, as far as appearances and mannerisms were concerned, Kyle was most definitely a very normal looking girl. No, not just normal, but stunningly pretty.

“Kayla, welcome to our family!” he said, opening his arms.

Kyle started to cry and smile at the same time, as he accepted his fathers embrace.

Rebecca was crying too, as was Sally.

After Sally left, Kyle had a long and rather deep session with his parents.  The emotions of the whole situation were exhausted.  Therefore, everyone was able to look at things with clearer vision.

Jake observed that Rebecca was more than accepting the situation, and there seemed to be an unusually swift bonding process occurring between her and her new ‘daughter’.

He was still at a loss to know what he should be feeling.  The visual impact of Kyle as a girl disturbed him deeply, and yet at the same time, it was unequivocal. His sense of proprietary was dented by Kyle’s ‘condition’, and yet as a father, he acknowledged that there was no doubt that Kyle had been dealt a bad hand, and was beginning to put that right.

The fact that Kyle looked so much more alive and animated as a girl convinced him that this was the only true avenue open to them.  How best to follow that avenue was now the primary concern.

“Kyle, how would you like us to call you?” he asked.

Kyle smiled, and Jake’s heart hurt a little as he took in exactly how pretty a girl he appeared to be.

“I don’t care.  I’m so overwhelmed at the moment, I’m just happy with whatever you feel appropriate.”

“I am assuming that you will be spending time as each gender, until things get more settled.  I don’t know if I like Kylie, it’s not a name I’d choose for a daughter, so when you are like this, would you mind if I called you Kayla?”

Kayla shook ‘her’ head and smiled again.

“As far as school is concerned, you go as Kyle, clear?”

“Yes Dad.”

“At home, if you want to spend time like this, that’s fine.  But, after we tell your brothers, and the rest of the family.  I do not want anyone getting a shock by walking in and being faced with a girl without prior warning.  We have to be prepared for different reactions from folk, so we tread carefully and gently, okay?”

Kayla smiled, and it was such a warm smile, Jake felt tears sting his eyes.

“Oh, you are too damn pretty to have ever been a boy!” he said.

Kyle slept better that night than at any time within recent times.

4.

“Hi Kayla.”

“Sally, shh!” Kyle said, looking around furtively.

“Oh, no one’s around.  How are you today?”

Kyle smiled, and Sally thought she could see the girl within.

“Brilliant.  Or I will be once all this pretending is over.  My parents are happy for me to be Kayla most of the time at home.  I just have to be Kyle at school and with family until everyone has been told.”

They walked into school together.  Sally noticed that Kyle still kept his scruffy look, but no longer looked quite so miserable.

“Are you free this afternoon?” she asked.

Kyle grinned and nodded.

“I can’t afford to go shopping, though.  I owe you forty odd quid anyway.”

“I thought we could go out to a film, and then grab something to eat. How does that grab you?”

“Fine, where?”

“Oxford again, okay?”

Kyle just grinned.

He nodded and went off to his class.

Sally smiled, only now she had to find a way to get a partner for the ball, and one for her friend Kayla.

Kyle was in a better mood than he had been for some time, and nearly everyone he came across noted something different in the lad.  He art teacher was delighted, as he managed to produce a wonderfully cheerful piece of work.  Compared to the dark and rather gloomy offerings he normally produced, the ballerina was a delight in colour and grace.

Inside, he was really excited. The prospect of being Kayla again was almost too much for him to bear.  He had worked through his guilt with his parents, and recognised that he must be so careful not to bring scandal on either himself or the family.  He knew enough that society was unforgiving towards those who were different.

The two ‘girls’ stepped off the bus in the centre of Oxford at one thirty. To a casual observer, the taller blonde had a more confident smile and seemed to have an extra spring in her step compared to the previous day.

They went to the Nosebag, a trendy little restaurant/coffee shop that catered for busy people on the move, ordering a light lunch with cappuccinos.

“Are you okay?” Sally asked and was rewarded with a huge grin.

“So, shopping or a film?” she asked.

“I don’t have any spare cash, not if I owe you for you know what.”

“Okay, then a movie.  Any preference?”

Kyle shook his head.  He was just so content being Kayla he wasn’t bothered.  Every minute he was accepted without question by the world around him, increased his confidence and sense of belonging.

Sally was quite surprised at the differences just in twenty-four hours.  Kayla was relaxed and smiled nearly all the time, and spent too long admiring her reflection in every shop window.  All ‘her’ mannerisms were completely natural and feminine.  So much so, Sally had enormous difficulty remembering that Kyle was under there, somewhere.

They ate their meal, chatting in the manner teenage girls chat the world over. Certainly, no one ever suspected that the tall pretty blonde girl was anything other than what she appeared.

After lunch, they walked the short distance to the cinema.  Just as they were entering, they heard a shout.

“Sally!”

They turned and Kyle’s heart sank.  It was Roger and Pete.  There were three other lads with them, Kyle didn’t know them, but was aware they went to school.

“Hi, fancy seeing you here.  What are you going to see?” Pete asked.

“Not sure.  I just needed a break from assignments,” Sally said.

Kyle was pretending he was invisible.  When you appear to be an attractive blonde girl, over five foot nine, wearing a short skirt and high heels, it is not an easy thing to do.  Particularly when surrounded by five young men all straining to see what you look like!

“Who’s this?” Pete asked.

Kyle smiled, shyly.

“This is a friend.  She’s over here from Sweden and I’m looking after her for the day.  Her name’s Kayla Olsen.”

(Shit Sally, do not go there, that bloody accent!) Kyle thought, and smiled again.

“Well, hi Kayla. That is one beautiful name!” said Roger, holding out his hand.

Kyle smiled and took his hand.

“A beautiful name for a beautiful girl,” said Pete, almost knocking Roger out of the way to shake ‘her’ hand next.

“I’m Peter Groves, but everyone calls me Pete,” he said, shaking ‘her’ hand.  He retained it for rather too long, Kyle thought.

“I yam plized to meet you,” Kyle stammered, staring daggers at Sally.

“Woah! That is one gorgeous accent you have.  Are you over here long?”

“Pliz?” Kyle asked, pretending to speak less English, in the hope they’d bugger off and leave them alone.

Pete repeated the question slowly and as if, she were deaf.

‘She’ shook her head.

“No.  I tink, I go back to Sweden soon,” Kyle replied, making his voice melodic as well.

“That’s a great shame. Well, shall we go in?” he said, making no effort to introduce the others to the girls.

They ended up paying to see the third Matrix film, and somehow Pete contrived to sit beside ‘Kayla’.

To give him his due, he did not try anything, but was attentive and even explained the dialogue when he felt that the Scandinavian girl might have difficulty following it.

Sally, sitting on the other side of Kyle, was trying hard not to laugh. She found it really funny that Pete was taking so much trouble to chat up another boy!

The movie ended and they all left the cinema together.  It was half past five, so the rush hour was well under way.

“What are you two up to now?” Pete asked, standing very close to the tall Swedish girl.  He was still taller than she was, yet he liked the way she held herself.  This was a girl he’d love to be seen with.

“I don’t know.  Kayla, do you want to do some shopping? There are still some shops open,” Sally asked.

“Ja, if you want,” Kyle said, hoping that the boys would run a mile rather than go shopping with two girls.

“Hey, cool.  Can we come along?” Pete asked.

The three strangers decided not to and that left Pete and Roger with the ‘girls’.

“Maybe, we better go home?” ‘Kayla’ said.

“Okay. We can come again another day,” Sally said, understanding her friend’s concerns.

“Aw, I was hoping that we could watch you buy some sexy outfits!” Pete said, and Roger grinned.

Instead, they walked to the Park & Ride bus stop.  The boys came too.

“Our car is in the same car park,” Roger explained when ‘Kayla’ frowned slightly.

“Oh, good,” ‘she’ said.

The bus was not long, and Pete sat next to Kayla again.

“Where in Sweden are you from?”

“Near Stockholm.  Do you know it?”

“No, but if they are all as pretty as you, I am willing to.”

Kyle smiled.

“So where are you staying?”

“Viz a relative in Abingdon.”

“Oh, brilliant, where abouts?”

Kyle looked panic stricken at Sally.

“Just off the Radley Road, just round the corner from me,” she said.

Sally knew that Pete and Roger lived on the other side of the town, on the Drayton Road.

“Do you like England?”

“Ja, so far it is nice.”

“Seriously, are you over here for long?  I’d love to show you my town,” he said, with a charming smile.

“I yam not long here. A few weeks, perhaps.”

“Weeks?  Great.  Then hopefully we could get together.  Have you a boyfriend, back in Sweden?”

“Pete!  Leave her alone.  She’s not been here three minutes, and already you are trying too hard!” Sally said.

Pete blushed, and smiled apologetically.

“Sorry Sal, but your friend is stunning!”

“Don’t apologise to me.  She does speak English, and she understands everything you say, so behave!”

“Sorry Kayla.  I just find you a beautiful girl, and I’d like to get to know you better,” Pete said, rather sheepishly.

Kyle flashed him a smile, as Sally rolled her eyes heavenward.  If that wasn’t a fuck-me smile, then she didn’t know what was.

“In answer to your question, zere is a boy, in Sweden,” ‘Kayla’ said, and Pete’s face fell slightly.

He recovered quickly and chatted aimlessly all the way back to the car park.  Traffic was heavy, so it took a while.

Finally, they parted at the car park. It was a great relief to get into Sally’s car.

“Fucking hell!” said Kyle. “That was bloody horrible!”

Sally started to laugh, almost unable to drive because of the laughter.

“What’s so bloody funny?  That was really awful!” Kyle asked.  Even now, he kept the feminine voice and manner.  Just lost the outrageous accent.

“Oh, Kayla, you were simply wonderful.  If only poor Pete knew he was trying to get into a boy’s knickers!”

Kyle went quiet, and Sally realised she had said the wrong thing.

“I’m sorry Kayla, I didn’t mean…..”

“No, you were right.  I am a boy.  I just almost forgot for a short while.”

They drove in silence for a while.  Sally glanced over to Kyle, and saw tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.  I didn’t think,” she said, feeling dreadful.

“It’s not you Sally.  It’s me.  I just don’t want to go back to being Kyle.  I know I must, but I just hate it so much!  Why couldn’t I have been born a girl?”

“I don’t know.  It is so unfair.  If it is any consolation, I don’t think of you as a boy at all.”

“Neither do I.  Until I take down my knickers!” Kyle said bitterly.

Sally dropped off Kyle at his house, and waved as he went indoors.

His mother saw him, and smiled sadly. 

“My goodness, Kayla, you are utterly convincing, you are so beautiful!”

“Thanks Mum, I just wish it went deeper than the outside.”

“Come talk to me while I make supper.  You can help if you like?”

They went into the kitchen.

Jake arrived home and went into the kitchen.  He paused for a moment as he saw his wife and ‘daughter’ chatting together as if everything was normal.  Kayla was wearing a short skirt, blouse and an apron.  Her high heels clacked on the tile floor. She appeared more animated and cheerful than he could ever recall seeing Kyle.

“Hello ladies,” he said, trying to behave as if everything was normal.

“Darling, hello.  How was your day?” Rebecca said, and came and gave him a kiss.

“Daddy,” Kayla said, and smiled.

“Oho, ‘Daddy’ am I now?”

She grinned.

“So, what have you been doing?  Break any young men’s hearts today?” he said, joking.  To his consternation, Kayla blushed bright red.

“Kayla, what happened?”

“Nothing.  Sally and I went to the cinema, and then came home.”

He cocked an eyebrow at her.

“There were some boys from school.  One of them fancied me, and well, Sally introduced me as Kayla Olsen again.  It wasn’t my idea, but I’m stuck now!”

“Go on.”

“Nothing.  We chatted, and he seemed to like me.  That was it.”

“He’s a boy at your school?”

“He’s in my sixth form.  But he doesn’t know me.  We don’t see each other often.  I only recently found out his name because Ricky had a run in with him.”

“So what’s the story?”

“No story.  Not yet anyway.  I just think I’ll put Kayla away until he forgets all about her.”

Jake grunted.

“Daddy, nothing happened.  We chatted and I didn’t encourage him at all!”

“At all?  Have you any idea how attractive you look?”

Kayla blushed.

“So, you do!  Well, young lady.  Your appearance is a huge come on to young men.  If you are going to play this game, then you must be prepared to deal with it.  How do you feel about boys, anyway?”

“I don’t really know.  Before this, before Kayla, I didn’t think about it.  Everything was focussed on my gender problem.  But today, looking like this, I found I like the attention, and, well, er, I actually look at boys differently, I think.”

Jake laid a hand on the troubled teen’s shoulder.

“Kayla, if you are going to be my daughter, then we have both a steep learning curve. The difficulties you have at the moment are multiplied a hundred fold over a genetic girl, or a boy who may be gay.  We will treat you as a normal girl.  You must accept responsibility for what you look like and the manner in which you conduct yourself.  To be honest, I’d prefer it if this had never happened.  But it has, so we must deal with it.”

“So, you should avoid complicating the issue with relationships based on dishonesty.  Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Daddy.”

“Kayla.  This is hard for us, and I imagine it is ten times harder for you.  I want us all to work together to make this the best we can, and that is not going to be easy.  There will come a time when you will be the person you want to be, but until then, we all have to be very careful.  You know the press love these sorts of things, and my position in the community, although not important to you, is a factor.  So, I’ll ask you to tread very carefully when dealing with people.  The fewer people who know the truth at this stage, the better.  Okay?”

“Yes Daddy.  If it helps, I totally agree.  But I still want to live,” Kayla said.

“I want you to as well.  But I am worried that you may get into difficulties.”

At that moment, the front door banged, and all three of them looked at each other in some alarm.

Michael, Kyle’s middle brother breezed into the kitchen.

“Hi, everyone.  I was passing, so I dropped in,” he said, and stared at the frozen tableau.

“Mike, what a surprise.  We thought you were in Newquay?”

“I was, but we came home early.  Who’s this?” he asked staring at Kayla.

“Kayla, meet Mike.” Jake said, struggling as to how to explain things.

“Hi, Kayla. Have we met?” he asked, taking in the very attractive girl standing next to his mother.  They were very similar and he started to frown.

“Mike, come with me for a sec,” Jake said, taking the now confused Michael out to his study.

Jake sat Mike down in a chair and paced up and down.

“Dad, what’s up?  Where’s Kyle?”

Jake looked at his middle son.

“Kyle is gone, son.”

“Gone? What?”

“Kyle is gone.  Kayla is your sister.”

Mike stared at his father with an open mouth.

The clock on the side clicked the seconds away for nearly a minute.

“That was Kyle?” Mike asked, aghast.

“Kyle has gone.  That is your sister, Kayla.”

Mike ran his hand through his hair.  He expelled some air explosively.

“Shit Dad, are you telling me that he’s had a sex change?”

“Mind your language, and no, not yet.  I anticipate that she will in a matter of time.”

“Fuck, I’ve only been gone a few weeks!”

“Mike!”

“Sorry Dad.  But this is heavy.  When did all this happen?”

“Yesterday.”

“Yesterday? But, but, she’s stunning!  There is no way that this started only yesterday!”

“Mike, this started when Kyle was born.  He’s known for years, and we found out yesterday.  Kayla was introduced to us, so while she is here, you will treat her with respect, okay?”

“But, what about school?”

“Kyle comes back for whatever time is needed for school, so I’d ask you to deal with this sympathetically.”

“Do I call her, her, or what?”

“When like this, she is Kayla, and she is your sister.  It will help her if you refer to her always like that, even when dressed as Kyle.”

“Dad, this is really weird!”

Jake smiled.

“Yes, it certainly is.  You have to understand that Kyle was unhappy for a long time, we are now grateful to know what the problem was, so we will work as a family to help her solve it.  Now, do you agree to go along with this?”

“Of course, Dad.  This explains a hell of a lot.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Dad, Kyle was always different. I now realise why.  Does Steve know?”

“No, not yet.  We only found out yesterday.”

“Wow, how?”

“I confronted him and he admitted it.  He was struggling with the burden of it for so long, it was affecting him badly.  So, we asked, and it all came out.  He, no, she has a girlfriend; that is a friend who is a girl, called Sally.  She has helped him, her, adjust and pushed her to where we are now.”

“Is he, no she, okay?”

“Who knows?  All I can see is a change in her.  She is happier and more relaxed than I can remember.  If I have to be honest, I wish to hell it never happened, but it has, so we will cope with this as a family and help her through it. Okay?”

“Of course, Dad.  Poor sod, I don’t envy him, sorry, her!”

Jake smiled and they left the study together.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Rebecca had an almost distraught Kayla to contend with.

“Shit, Mum, he’s going to hate me!”

“No, he won’t.  He will understand. He’ll be fine.”

Rebecca forced Kayla to help her finish off the supper preparations.  With an extra mouth to feed, more vegetables had to be prepared, so Kayla was set-to peeling more potatoes.

Mike and Jake came into the kitchen.  Mike said nothing, but walked up to Kayla and gave her a hug.

Kayla broke down and started to cry.  Mike just held her and Jake had to leave, as his eyes started to sting alarmingly.

Rebecca made them finish the preparations, then Mike took Kayla out into the garden to talk.  Kayla was so relieved that Mike was so understanding, that everything poured out.  Mike vaguely knew Pete Groves, as they were both rugby fanatics, albeit Pete was several years younger.

“So, Pete fancies my little sister?”

Kayla blushed.  Mike tried to see the little brother he thought he knew well.  He failed.

“Shit, I can see why!”

“Why?”

“You don’t look anything like you used to.  You seem taller and older, somehow.”

“High heels and makeup.”

“Oh,” Mike said and grinned sheepishly.

He stared at Kayla, who felt embarrassed and reddened again.

“Are those, you or what?” he asked, nodding towards her chest.

“Tights.  Hopefully I will get breast forms soon and my own eventually.”

“You look very pretty, did you know that?”

“So everyone keeps telling me.  It helps.”

“I imagine it does.  ShitKy…, Kayla, this is heavy!”

Kayla smiled, and Mike realised just how pretty she was.

“I know.  But, I am so much happier like this.  Imagine what it will be like when I am finished.”

“Finished?  Oh, finished!  I see.  Shit!  Yes, I suppose so.  How long will it all take?”

Kayla shrugged.

“I don’t know, a year, maybe two.  I don’t care; I just want it to happen.”

Mike grinned and shook his head.  This was going to take some getting used to.  He had to admit, Kayla seemed more relaxed, as his father had also observed.

“Fancy coming out for a drink later?” he asked.

Kayla’s eyes opened wide with surprise.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.  I wouldn’t have asked if I hadn’t meant it.”

“Okay, but I’d better ask Dad. I’m still under age.”

“You don’t have to drink alcohol.  Besides, it’ll do you good.”

“Okay.”

“Good.  Now, I’d better check my emails.” Mike left Kayla completely bemused.  He had behaved as if the whole thing was perfectly natural, and she felt so pleased.

Supper was relaxed and, for some strange reason, Kayla felt closer to Mike than at any time in their past.  Mike mentioned that he was going to go out to the pub and was taking his sister with him.  Jake had frowned.

“Don’t use any of the pubs in town.  Go out a bit, and take care of her,” he said.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to draw unnecessary attention to her.  She is aware, so must you be.  This is delicate, so needs care.”

“Fine, we’ll go to the Barley Mow at Clifton Hampden.”

Jake nodded.  That was the end of discussion.

Mike drove carefully, but they did not talk much.  Mike was still trying to come to terms with what had happened and that the stunning girl sitting next to him used to be his little brother.

He parked the car in the car park and they walked over the road into the old thatched pub.  The interior had been was newly refurbished by ‘Chef & Brewer’, and was done in the old oak beams style. They walked up to the long bar and waited to be served.  Kayla stood holding her bag, looking exactly as what she purported to be - an elegant young woman, out with a young man.

Several of the male customers appraised her from a distance, and many envied the tall young man who accompanied her.  She gave no sign she was aware of the scrutiny, yet Mike was.

He paid for the beer and her white wine, and he carried the drinks to a table in the beer garden.  It was a warm evening and he watched as she sat down and relaxed.  Everything about her seemed so feminine and natural; Mike almost forgot whom she had been.

“This is nice,” she said, sipping her wine.

He looked at her fingernails and then at her eyes.  Her makeup made her look completely different.  It was as if everything that had been Kyle had been washed away, allowing a new person to be drawn onto the old canvas.

“Yeah.  We used to come here occasionally.  It’s been renovated a few times now. There was a fire here not that long ago, so they completely rebuilt the place.”

“How’s things?” she asked.

“Fine.  I’ve a new girlfriend.  Sonia was too serious and wanted us to get married.”

“Oh? So what poor unfortunate have you ensnared now?”

Mike laughed.

“There’s a girl on my course, Jeanette Evans.  She’s Welsh.”

“Someone has to be.  Is she pretty?”

“I think so.  She’s dark and much shorter than you.”

“Oh.  I suppose I’m quite tall, for a girl.”

“Yeah, quite tall.”

They were quiet for a moment.

“So how did you attract Pete Groves?”

She told him about pretending to be Swedish, and he hooted with laughter.

“Let me hear the accent.”

She frowned and then said, “How you vant me to spik, pliz?”

“Oh, brilliant!  I can see why he was smitten, that voice is so sexy!”

Kayla smiled, pleased to be so accepted by her brother.

Mike looked at his watch.

“Expecting someone?” Kayla asked.

“Yeah, a couple of mates said they’d drop by.”

Kayla felt a moment of panic, and her expression obviously was clear to her brother.

“They’re cool, I promise.  They’re law students, so they’ll be fine.”

“Who they hell will you say I am?  I’m not being Swedish again, that was a nightmare!”

“I’ll tell them the truth.”

“I think that’s worse.”

“Make your mind up, they’ll be here in a second.”

Further discussion halted as two young men arrived. One was very tall and thin.  He must be at least six feet five, and appeared to be of mixed race.  A pair of blue eyes and a ready smile offset his dark skin.

The other was much shorter, five six or seven, but very stocky.

“Hi guys, got a drink?” Mike asked, but then noticed that both were carrying pint glasses.

They sat at the table, the shorter man sitting next to Kayla.

“Kayla, this is Rob Symes and Scratcher Kumar. Guys, this is my Swedish cousin, Kayla.”

Both men smiled and shook Kayla’s hand.  She gave Mike a filthy look for introducing her as a Swedish girl, once more.

“Hi, Kayla, Mike you sod, why didn’t you mention you had such a beautiful cousin?” said Scratcher.

“That can never be your real name,” Kayla said.

“No, it’s Andrew, but I’ve been called Scratcher since Prep school,” the tall lad said, smiling.

Kayla must have looked confused.

“My Dad is Indian and my Mum is English.  Dad is really more English than the English. He’s a QC.  Mum is a journalist. She writes for Horse and Hound and the Field.”

“Oh,” Kayla said, sipping her wine again.

“So, what do you do, Kayla?” Rob asked.

“I’m still in school.”

Both men expressed surprise and she felt pleased with their reactions.

They discussed people and events of which she was ignorant, so she simply sat and watched their interaction.  All three men were relaxed and obviously good friends.  Every now and again, they would bring her into the conversation, and she found it easy to talk with them.  They listened to her opinions and she didn’t feel they were humouring her.

They both bought rounds of drinks, so Kayla found herself on her third glass of wine.  Not normally a drinker, she felt wonderfully relaxed.  She had to go to the loo, so she excused herself, hesitating for only a second before entering the ladies.

She had a moment of depression as she lowered her knickers, exposing the unpleasant truth. However, after completing her mission, she readjusted herself, repairing her makeup in the mirror.

She returned to the table, aware now that most of the males in the pub openly watched every move she made.  She became rather self-conscious and was grateful to sit down again with the others.

She declined a fourth drink, nursing her third up to going home time.  Jake had asked Mike to have her home by ten, as she was due to go to school the following morning.

To her surprise, both Rob and Scratcher kissed her on the cheek when saying goodbye.  Mike watched with a small smile, and she actually found she liked the experience.

As Mike drove home, she sat quietly, while her brain buzzed with all the changes she had experienced in the last two days.  She had not really expected such changes. Certainly not so rapidly, and she was unsure as to how to deal with the prospect of changing back for school.

“They’re nice,” she said.

“Who? Rob and Scratcher?”

“Yeah.  They were really nice.”

“I’m glad you liked them.  They liked you,” Mike said.

“Did they, um, do you think they noticed?”

“Kayla, no one would ever notice.  You really do look the part, you sound the part and, as far as I’m concerned, you are the part.  So, stop worrying and relax!”

Kayla smiled and sat back and closed her eyes.

5.

“Mr Manning, if you should be so kind as to join the rest of us mere mortals on planet Earth, I should be very much obliged!”

Mr Simmonds jerked Kyle out of his daydream and back to the harsh realities of French Impressionist painters.

“Thanks you.  Now, if you could be so kind, please illuminate us with your opinion as to whom was the greatest inspiration for the FrenchSchool.”

“Um, Turner, sir.  His painting of the fire at Parliament was probably the single most important source of inspiration for the French, sir.”

Mr Simmonds looked at the boy.  Kyle was one of his finest art students in recent years.  Bright, sensitive and remarkably gifted, he suffered from an almost depressive style, and yet he was always bright and easy to teach.  He had recently been prone to drifting off in his own little world, so Harry Simmonds was quite worried about him. Once again, although off with the fairies, his answer was clear concise and as always correct.

“Good.  Please try to remain with us for the remainder of this lesson.  Now, who knows who was the most influential French Impressionist?”

Kyle was actually miserable.  He had slept in a nightdress for the first time, and hated dressing as a boy when woken by his mother.  His father had already left for work, and Mike was still in bed.  So Rebecca had a morose and rather petulant young man in the house before he left for school.

Kyle went to school with a small smile on his face, for he was wearing his bra and panties under his normal male clothes.  The restriction of the bra gave him a constant reminder of who he wanted to be, and he knew that as the summer progressed, he would soon have to forgo the pleasure, with thin tee shirts being the norm.

He had varnished his nails with clear varnish, and had to concentrate hard to walk like a boy.  Everything within him wanted to be female, and huge effort was necessary to maintain the pretence of being masculine.  Sally knew as soon as she saw him that they had unleashed a beast that was hard to control.

“Hi girl,” she said as Kyle arrived.  Kyle hardly glanced up.  With his head bowed and shoulders slumped, he was a picture of dejection and misery.

“Hi Sal.”

“You okay?” she asked, as they walked in together.

“Suppose.”

“Your boobs haven’t come yet.”

“Oh.”

“How did you get on last night?”

“Okay.  Mike came home unexpectedly.”

“Shit, were you as Kayla or Kyle?”

“Kayla.  Mike was okay.  Dad had a chat with him, and then he took me out to a pub for a drink.  Two of his mates from college came, and he introduced me as his Swedish cousin. This is getting deep, Sal!”

“Cool!  Did they suspect?”

“No, not at all.  It was great.”

Kyle smiled for the first time and Sally saw a glimmer of the girl within.

“Did you fancy them?”

Kyle frowned and the boy returned.

“Don’t be silly.”

“I’m sorry.  I won’t talk about things like this with Kyle.  Kayla would understand,” Sally said, and was rewarded by a small smile.

“Shit Sal, this is tough.  I don’t want to be Kyle at all.”

She touched his arm.

“I know.  Be patient, it’ll be over soon enough!” she said, and he nodded.

The school day seemed to drag dreadfully and lunchtime eventually arrived.  Kyle sat with Ricky and Sally, who wasn’t keen on Ricky, went and sat with some of her girlfriends.

“I called you last night.  Your phone was off,” Ricky said.

“Oh, yeah, Mike came home and we had a family evening,” Kyle explained.

“What ya doing tonight?” Ricky asked.

“Dunno, why?”

“I dunno, do you fancy a film?  The new Matrix is out.”

“Seen it.  I went with Sally a couple of days ago.”

“Oooh, well, well.  You sly dog, you,” said Ricky with an unpleasant leer.

Kyle was fed up with Ricky’s continual innuendos.  He changed the subject. He didn’t want to tell him that he had also gone as a girl and sat next to Pete Groves.

“So, planned your revenge yet?”

“I’d love to do something to them at the ball.  I mean, how cool would it be to show them up in front of everyone else?”

“Like what?”

“I dunno.  Like have their partners be blokes in dresses.  That’d be so cool!”

Kyle smiled, as he thought of partnering Pete Groves.  He then felt an unfamiliar feeling.  Not an unpleasant feeling, it was a sort of fluttering feeling in his abdomen.  He thought of the kind of dress he could wear, and then imagined dancing with him. The feeling intensified and he felt quite strange.

“Kyle, hello, is there anyone there?” Ricky asked, waving his hand in front of his friend’s unfocussed eyes.

“Sorry, what?”

“Never mind. So, do you want to do anything this evening?”

“Not really. I have an assignment to finish.  Maybe at the weekend?”

“Okay. Shit, there’s bloody Pete Groves.  I’m off!”

Ricky left rapidly.  Pete walked past without giving the scruffy and seemingly invisible Kyle a second glance.  He sat at the next table with his friend Roger and another rugby player, Simon Lawrence.

Kyle strained to hear their conversation.

“…amazing.  She had the most gorgeous hair and legs that went on forever!” said Roger.

“I tell you, she’s in a class of her own.  Far better than any of the scrubbers at this sodding place,” said Pete.

“What, even Sally?” said Roger, teasing his friend.

“Sally’s all right. I’ve always liked her, but she’s the best of a bad bunch.  No, this Kayla was fucking gorgeous.  She was demure, intelligent, stunningly attractive and so fuckable!”

Kyle went bright red, knocking over his glass of water in his haste to stand up and leave.

Sally saw him blushing and leave the cafeteria rapidly.  No one else saw him leave.  She finished her lunch and followed him.  She hoped he wouldn’t make for the toilets.  He was standing beneath the trees at the edge of the playing field.

She went over to him.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

He turned and she saw the frustration deeply etched on his features.

“Oh Sally, it’s so unfair!”

He then told her about what he had overheard, and she surprised him by laughing.

He frowned.

“It’s not funny Sally!” he protested.

“Oh, Kyle, lighten up!  Don’t you see what this means?  This means you have made it.  It means that you pass the test.  The most eligible boys in the school think you are a bimbo and have no idea that Kayla is Kyle!”

Kyle smiled slightly.

“You’d like to be Kayla all the time, wouldn’t you?”

“You know I do.”

“Do you want to come round later?”

“I can’t. I have a doctor’s appointment.”

“Oh?  As Kayla or Kyle?”

“Does it matter?”

“I think you should go as Kayla; that will show the doctor how serious you are.”

“I’ll see.  I’m going with my Mum.  I don’t want to do anything to upset or embarrass her.”

“Whatever.  Good luck.  I’ll ring you later.  What time is your appointment?”

“Five.”

“Okay.  I’ll ring you at seven.”

Rebecca felt very strange sitting in the doctor’s waiting room with a pretty girl sitting next to her.  She had asked for the appointment and had been deliberately evasive as to the reasons.

Kyle had immediately changed into Kayla as soon as he arrived back from school.  Rebecca could see an instant and profound change come over her child, and as soon as the girl breezed into the kitchen, she knew that this journey was inescapable.

(Author’s note.  To facilitate ease of reading [& writing, for that matter], from now on I will describe Kayla by using feminine pronouns. Despite the fact that technically she is physically still male, spiritually and mentally she is enough of a girl to demand such treatment.)

She made no protest when she found it was to be Kayla who accompanied her to the doctor.  Kayla was very nervous and maintained a constant stream of chatter all the way there.  However, she clammed up tight as soon as they walked in.  She sat and read an old copy of Cosmopolitan, hardly looking up.

Rebecca tried to be objective as she regarded at her ‘daughter’.  Kayla was wearing a knee length skirt, a plain cream blouse and tights.  Her shoes had high heels, but were smart.  There was nothing in what Rebecca could see that suggested that there was a scruffy boy lurking in there somewhere.

“Mrs Manning for Doctor Hillier.”

Rebecca and Kayla stood and Kayla smiled nervously.

“You’ll be fine, love,” Rebecca whispered as they went to the door.

James Hillier was forty-five and was starting to become a little plump.  He had been the family doctor for the last eight years, for which time Kyle had been remarkably free of illness or injuries.  He had only once had to see the doctor with suspected tonsillitis.

“Ah, Mrs Manning, and ah, your daughter.  What can I do for you?  Not the dreaded pill, eh?” he asked.

Rebecca stared at him and smiled humourlessly.

“Doctor, this is my son.  We have come to you because he wants to be my daughter,” she said, and Kayla watched the colour drain from the doctor’s face.

Doctor Hillier recovered remarkably.  He came round from behind his desk, seating the pair down on the sofa at the end of his consulting room. He sat in an armchair, and listened as they explained the situation.

“Right, Mrs Manning, if you’d care to give us a few minutes.  I would like to examine, ah, Kayla.”

Rebecca left, and the doctor conducted a thorough physical examination of the unfortunate young person.

Kayla surprised the doctor in many ways.  Firstly, her appearance was very feminine, as was her manner and voice.  Once undressed, although not having breasts was an obvious feature, the narrow waist and feminine figure indicated more than a little physical confusion.

The doctor noticed that there was a slight puffiness and swelling around each nipple, which in turn appeared to be very slightly swollen.

“Are these sore?” he asked.

“No, but tender if I bang them.  They seem more sensitive.  I put that down to wearing a bra for the first time yesterday.”

“Have you taken any medication or pills, or rubbed cream on them?”

“No.”

The genitalia interested the doctor the most.  The penis was very small and the testes did not appear to have fallen properly.  This explained why the voice was still immature and had not yet broken. There seemed to be surplus skin, which would have been a scrotum, had the testes fallen correctly. However, the doctor could feel a slight cleft, frowning as he tried to account for the deformity.

As he gently probed the area below the navel, he found a slightly distended area. He pushed and felt resistance.

“Is that sore?”

“No, more uncomfortable than sore.”

“Had any anal bleeding?”

“No, why?”

“Just checking. How about discharge from the penis?”

“You mean apart from pee?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Have you had any seminal discharge?”

“Like what?”

“Like waking up with stickiness around the area?”

“Oh, you mean a wet dream, no, not yet.”

“How old are you, seventeen?”

“Yes, why?”

“I think you should have had some by now.  Do you masturbate?”

“No, not really.”

“Not really?”

“When I was younger, the other boys did, and they spoke about it.  I tried it and nothing happened.”

“How much younger?”

“Twelve, thirteen, something like that.”

“How about erections, how often do you experience them?”

“What?”

“Erections, you know, stiffies?”

Kyle went red.

“Oh, well, I think I might have had one once, but I’m not sure.”

The doctor looked at her.

“Once?”

She shrugged.

“Have you started shaving yet?”

“No.”

“Okay, thank.  I’m sorry to ask you all these questions, but I think they are all important if we are to solve your little mystery,” the doctor said.

“Mystery?”

“Let’s finish up, and I’ll tell you what I think I’ve found.”

His subject was slightly distressed at being so closely scrutinised, so he suggested that she dress again as soon as he had finished.  He was then surprised at the change once she was dressed once more.

“So, how do you see yourself?” he asked.

“I’m a girl with a physical abnormality.”

“Wouldn’t you rather have the desire to be a girl removed?”

She shook her head.

“No thanks.  I want to be a girl.”

“How about the clothes.  How long have you been cross dressing?”

“This is my third day.”

The doctor was surprised again.

“The third day? You’re joking?”

“Why should I joke?  I’ve always felt I was a girl, and I did dress up once ages ago, but I only started this a couple of days ago.”

“Do you get a sexual kick from the clothes?”

“No.  I don’t think I’ve ever got a sexual kick from anything.”

The doctor smiled and made some notes.

“Do you know the difference between a transsexual and someone who is inter-sexed?”

“Yes.”

The doctor smiled again.

“Try and make this easier for me, please tell me?”

“A transsexual is someone who believes that they are trapped in the body of the opposite gender, and for whom surgery is often the only means they have of becoming the person they feel they should be.  When someone is inter-sexed they have elements of both genders physically present in their body, and as a result, they are confused as to which gender they are.  Often they feel the gender that may not necessarily be the most obvious.”

“Which do you think you are?”

“I’m a girl in a boy’s body.  I don’t think I have any girl’s bits, so unless you tell me I have, I must be a transsexual.”

Dr Hillier asked Kayla several more questions about her attitude and general feelings concerning the whole concept of being female, as opposed to remaining as a boy.

Kayla found the questions easy to answer and started to relax.  Dr Hillier found her a delightful young person, having the greatest difficulty holding onto the fact that this young person was genetically male.

Finally, the questions ended and he smiled.

“I’m not a specialist in this field.  I’m just a G.P., so although I have had some experience, I am not an authority.  I do believe that you are inter-sexed to a greater degree.  The evidence is clear, you have a female figure, you have small genitalia, which have not formed correctly, and slightly distended abdomen, indicating the presence of something that may not be usual.  Blood tests would tell us of your hormone levels, so that will be the next step.

“I’m not a gambling man, but if I was, I’d say that there is more to you than anyone of us realises, and I think it is vital that we get someone to look at you in the very near future.  I am going to refer you to a gender disorder specialist at the JR (JohnRadcliffeHospital, Oxford). He’s one of the best, and I think it is vital that we get you to him as soon as we can.

“If you go out and tell your mother what we’ve discovered, and I’ll attempt to speak with his secretary, and then I’ll have you both back in here in a jiffy, okay?”

Kayla smiled uncertainly.  Suddenly everything that had been almost clear was now even more uncertain again, and she was not sure she understood.

She went out and sat next to her mother.

“Well?”

Kayla told her. Rebecca smiled and held the girl’s hand.

“I knew it was something like this.  You’ll see, you are a girl and have been all the time!”

They sat, but Kayla was unable to concentrate enough to read, as she watched the second hand rotate excruciatingly slowly on the waiting room clock.

They were called back in after fifteen minutes.

“Please sit down.  I’m sorry this has taken so long, but I managed to speak to Mr Sweeney.  If you are able, he will squeeze you in on Monday morning next week.  This is very fortunate, as he is off to the States on Tuesday, and he is away for about a month.

“He has asked that we take some blood, so that various tests can be conducted between now and next Monday.  This will tell us a lot about what is going on inside, so hopefully he won’t need to slice you open to take a look.

I am writing a letter for you to take to your school.  I actually believe that it would be harmful to Kayla’s mental health to keep chopping and changing gender.  In the short time we have had today, I sincerely believe that she is happier as a girl, so I am recommending that you maintain this role until such time as the specialists have had opportunity to examine and deal with her condition.  I believe that to perpetuate a male role at this juncture would bring on depression, and be wholly counter-productive.”

Kayla’s eyes widened in shock.

“You mean I have to go to school as a girl?”

“Not just school.  I think you should live as a girl all the time.  I suggest you have a meeting with the school Headmaster, and you should be able to reach some compromise over your schoolwork and exams. This is your ‘A’ level term, and so they should be able to make special arrangements for you.”

“Tell me about it,” Kayla muttered.

The doctor scribbled a letter on his headed paper.

“I know this is all happening rather fast.  I ought to stress that these gender disorders can be quite difficult to sort out, but if no action is taken, serious repercussions could follow.”

“What kind of repercussions?” Rebecca asked.

“When one deals with hormones, things can get very complicated.  Too much of one and not enough of another can cause lasting damage to organs such as the liver and kidneys. Over-development can cause difficulties, as much as under development.

“Mrs Manning, as I said, I am not a specialist in this field, but I have some experience.  My feeling is that Kayla is one of those unfortunate individuals whose body contains elements of both genders, and although she displays the secondary characteristics of a male, like an iceberg, the majority of her true gender may well be hidden out of sight.

“Look at your daughter, can you honestly tell me that she is a seventeen year old boy?”

Kayla felt very self-conscious as her mother and the doctor stared at her.

“No, doctor, I can’t!”

Rebecca was stunned.  Events were happening far faster than she anticipated, and she was feeling slightly overwhelmed.  She realised that if she felt like this, Kayla must feel it a hundred fold.

She took the letter, thanked the doctor and they left after the nurse took some blood from her.

Kayla sat in the car, silent, with her mind in turmoil.

“Are you okay?” her mother asked.

“I don’t know.  This is all happening so fast.  I never imagined the doctor would say that I have to live as a girl!”

“Isn’t it what you wanted?”

“Yes, but,…, I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t to be told that I might be partly a girl, and mustn’t live as a boy because I might get depression.”

“Well, you heard the doctor, somehow we’ve to make sure that you live full time as a girl, and this is going to be very awkward.”

“I could stay with Gran.  Just until everyone in the family knows,” Kayla suggested.  Rebecca’s mother was very fond of Kyle, and lived four hundred yards away.  She refused to move in with the family, as she wanted to remain independent and give her daughter space.

“That’s not such a bad idea.  We must also speak to your headmaster, and see what we can do about your assignments and exams.  This couldn’t have come at a worse time, love!”

“I know, and now so many of the sixth form have seen me and believe me to be Swedish, it is so complicated!”

“So many?”

“Half a dozen.”

“That’s not so many.”

“It is.  I know for a fact that one boy already fancies me!”

“Oh dear, you are a ninny.  Why couldn’t you just have been gay?” her mother said.  Neither laughed very much.

That evening, the family discussed the matter around the dinner table.  Mike didn’t help, he kept chuckling, and Jake found it annoying.

“Michael, if you can’t be constructive, shut up!” he said.

“But Dad, the answer is standing in front of you.  Kayla can stay with Gran.  Gran can teach her Swedish, and we can say that Kyle has swapped, like an exchange or something.  Kayla can keep pretending to be Swedish, and no one will be any the wiser.  Once school is out the way, whatever happens can be dealt with accordingly,” Mike said.

Jake was about to come back with a retort, when Rebecca said, “You know, that’s not a bad idea.  We need time to let everyone know what is going on, and that would make sense.  It wouldn’t be a bad idea for Kayla to learn Swedish, in any case.  I’m fed up of being the only one who speaks the language every time we go and stay with relatives.”

“Becca, you can’t expect the child to keep up such a deception for so long!” her husband said.

“Daddy, I’m not a child!  I actually think it would be a good idea.  Would Gran be willing to go along with it?” Kayla said.

“She’d love it.  She loves things like that. I’ll give her a ring, and if she’s in, we could pop round after supper and introduce you to her.”

“Oh, come on Mum, she’s known me all my life,” Kayla said.

“Kayla, take a look in a mirror.  She has only known Kyle.  You really are very different, you know?” her brother said.

“Oh, I suppose so.  I keep forgetting,” Kayla said, with a grin.

Rebecca picked up the cordless phone, punching the pre-keyed number for her mother.

Kayla went up to her room and sat on her bed.  Everything was just going too fast. Events were overtaking her and she hadn’t yet had time to take stock of what was really happening.

She rested her head in her hands, and tried to make her racing brain slow down.  She thought that her body said she was a boy, and now her brain and a doctor insisted she was a girl.  Her whole being screamed ‘girl’ at her.  It was as if the entity called Kyle had somehow suddenly ceased to exist!

“Hey, are you okay?”

She looked up to see Mike standing in the doorway.

“I don’t know, Mike.  Who the hell am I?”

He smiled and walked in, sitting next to her on the bed.

“Who do you want to be?”

“I just want to be me, but I’m not sure who that is.”

“Well, if appearances are anything to go by, you’re Kayla, my little sister,” he said, and she smiled at him.  He could see that tears weren’t far away.

“It’s so confusing.  I really don’t know who I am any more.  This only started a couple of days ago, and I didn’t ever think this would happen.”

“So, why did you do it?”

“I’m not sure.  I’ve had this overwhelming feeling that I’ve been a girl for ages.  So much so that the feelings are with me every waking moment of every day.  I was starting to feel so down, I guess I had depression of a sort.”

Mike sat there, frowning.

“Well, say something?” she said.

“What can I say?  This is going to take careful handling, if you want to avoid press and scandal.  The papers would have a field day, as you really are very pretty.”

Kayla blushed, and once more Mike had difficulty reconciling Kyle with this girl.

Rebecca called her from down stairs.

“Come on, love, Mama wants to see you now.”

“What did you tell her?” Kayla asked.

“Oh, this and that,” her mother said evasively.

“Oh, come on.  Did you explain what’s happening?”

“Sort of.  Actually, I think she guessed.”

They walked up the road together.  Ingrid Clarke lived twelve houses up on the other side of the road. Her late husband, Richard Clarke, had been a doctor in the town, having brought his bride here all those years ago.  Rebecca had been brought up here, and had attended St. HelensGirlsSchool.

Jake had been only too happy to allow his wife to return to her roots so as to be close to her mother.  Jake’s parents had died some years before, so this was all the family he had now.

Ingrid was in her eighties, and yet was still a strikingly handsome woman.  Her complexion was wonderfully clear and helped her look much younger than her age. Her white hair had not really altered much, from white blonde to white, still meant she looked very similar from one year to the next.

She opened the front door to the pair, and before anyone could say anything, she simply hugged her new granddaughter,

When she allowed Kayla to breath, she stroked her cheek, saying, “I knew it all along. Ever since I first saw you, I knew you were a girl.  I am so happy for you, now we just get you sorted out good and proper.”

Her Swedish accent was still discernable, despite living in England for nearly fifty years.

They sat down in the sitting room and went over the situation.  As predicted, Ingrid thought the idea of having a Swedish Great-niece coming to stay was a capital one, so she simply took over the planning of the whole operation.

She got out several books, including a Swedish-English dictionary. 

“I can’t wait.  Now, you go home and get packed.  I will make your room up, and we start tonight.  As from ten o’clock, we have no English in this house.  This will be such fun!”

Kayla was swept along; such was her grandmother’s enthusiasm.  Rebecca found herself powerless to intervene and, before they knew it, Kayla had packed her few meagre clothes, with some cast-offs from her mother, and was back at Ingrid’s house.

Ingrid helped her unpack and was distressed at how few clothes she had.

“Ah, then on Saturday, we go shopping.  I buy my pretty granddaughter some nice clothes. But first, we learn some Swedish.  If you are to be Kayla Olsen, then you will have to sound the part!”

Kayla actually knew a bit of Swedish, as the family had spent many happy summers on holiday with the extended family at their holiday cabin in Sweden, by a lake.  Ingrid launched into her fluent Swedish, keeping her promise never to speak English in front of Kayla again.

When she went to bed that night, her mind was reeling with everything that had happened.  She was just dozing off when her mobile rang.

“Hi, Kyle, wazzup?” It was Ricky.

“Oh, hi Ricky.  Not a lot,” Kayla lied.

“Hey, I had a thought about those two wankers.”

“Oh yeah?”

“If we drugged them, we could dress one of them up as a girl, and then take photographs of them in bed together.”

“Ricky, that’s inane.  Anyway, I might not be here for the rest of term,” Kayla said.

“How come?”

“My cousin’s over from Sweden, so I may have an opportunity to go over there on exchange.”

That’s cool!  All those blonde babes.  Is your cousin fit?”

Kayla smiled as she glanced into the mirror.

“You’ll have to make up your own mind about that.”

“So, when do you go?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe tomorrow.  I’ll have to see.”

“Shit, you can’t go.  Who the hell can I muck about with now?” Ricky asked, worried now that his only close friend was leaving him alone.

“You’ll be all right.  Look, I have to go, I am up early tomorrow.”

“Okay, let me know what’s happening when you know.”

“Okay, bye.”

Kayla sighed, and switched her phone off.  Ricky was another complication she could do without.  If he got wind of the changes, then she would be vulnerable to his stupidity.  She vowed to try not to let him in on anything.

She lay there for a while, just thinking about everything that had happened.  Her hands sought out her hated genitals, and she idly felt them.  The penis was small, the tip was only just prominent from the folds of skin, and she could vaguely feel two fleshy shaped which she supposed were testes.  Not having handled anyone else’s bits, she was unsure what they should feel like.  She went over what the doctor said, and then felt her nipples.

There was a degree of swelling around them, and she felt strangely excited.  If her own breasts were growing, it was like a surreal confirmation that she was right to feel that she was a girl.  She fell asleep with a gentle smile on her face.

6.

It was her ringing phone that woke her up, the following morning.

“Hi?” she mumbled into the phone.

“Hi, it’s me,” said Sally.

“Oh, hi Sal. What time is it?”

“Seven, why, are you still in bed?”

“Yeah, I’m at my Gran’s place.”

“Your boobs have arrived.  I thought you’d want to know. Shall I bring them over now?

“Great. That’s a really good idea. Look Sal.  We have to talk.  Things have happened,” Kayla said.  She then explained the events of the previous day.

“As a girl! All the time?” Sally asked, startled beyond belief.

“Yeah, so, because Pete and the others already know me as Kayla Olsen, that’s who I’m going to have to be.”

“Shit!  This is all my fault. I’m so sorry, I never thought for a moment anything like this would happen.”

“It’s not your fault.  This is all down to me.  The Kayla Olsen bit could be a way of avoiding unwanted publicity.  We have to see old Mr Granger today.”

“Not the head?  Why?”

“I need to finish my courses.  I still need the A levels.”

“This is going to be so cool.  Aren’t you looking forward to it?”

“I don’t know, Sally.  I’m worried about being found out.  They’ll kill me.”

“You’ll be fine.  No one would ever guess.  Get