Sapphire has exclusive rights to archive this story at Sapphire's Place. All rights to "Making Lemonade" is mine alone.
Chapter 15
The rest of Janet's day turned out to be uneventful, thank God. She spent her lunch with the girls, which by now had become routine. She flashed briefly on how just a few short months ago she was content, if not desirous of being left alone. No, that really wasn't true. She realized that she had been resigned to being alone, not content and especially not desirous of that state. She just felt that there was no other choice for her. Being alone was the only way to deal with the fact that she was so different from everyone else. So different in fact that she didn't feel like she deserved to be happy, or content, or even worthy of anyone's love.
But now, things seemed different. She found herself wanting the very things she previously believed she didn't deserve. It really was amazing how much her life had changed. She found it nearly impossible to remember what it was like before she met the girls. Was that person she used to be really her? It was like waking from a dream... or nightmare, depending on how she looked at it. Life was much simpler before the girls, but was it better? She had her doubts. She really wasn't sure she wasn't living a dream right now, but she did know that she couldn't go back to her old way of life, nor did she want to. She wanted more out of life. She wanted to live rather than to just exist. It surprised her that it was easier to be Janet than it ever was trying to be Mark, although she understood that she really never tried to be Mark. He wasn't anyone and didn't try to be. As Janet, she had hope, she could see a future.
The girls asked her about her meeting with the new guidance councilor. Actually, they asked her why she had been summoned and she felt the need to assuage their curiosity. Their general consensus was caution, but Janet had a feeling that Miss Dicowski was on her side. She did see the wisdom of their advice. It's just that being too careful was too close to what she had been. Mark's life was a study in caution. Everything he did was based on the need to not make mistakes that emphasized how different he was when compared to the rest of humanity. He felt so apart from everyone that he kept away from everyone.
Janet was glad that she had been forced to see herself the way much of society saw her. She knew she was a boy, at least physically, but she never felt like one and she certainly didn't look like one. Being a girl felt right. She was confused as to why that should be, but she didn't want to question it.
The girls quickly changed the conversation to more mundane topics. They were worried about the pace of events in Janet's life and her apparent acceptance of those events. Much of what was happening to her over the past several days had the potential to drive anyone crazy. Any girl would've been overwhelmed with everything that had gone on, but to have it all happen to a boy... the girls didn't think it would be as easy as Janet seemed to be taking it. They were impressed with Janet's ability to endure the very strange things that were happening to her, but they kept a close eye on her, looking for any sign that she'd lose it.
Janet enjoyed the distraction. It felt good to not think about the past several days, although it wasn't easy. She knew she would have to jump back into the frying pan tomorrow, but at least, for now, she didn't have to think about it. She was pleasantly surprised at her level of concentration in class. The work seemed to come easier. Until recently, she had to really expend great effort to remain apart from the world around her while at the same time devoting a certain part of her mind to the tasks required for her classes. Maybe her lost ability to detach was forcing her mind to focus. Maybe she just wanted to stop burying her head in the sand. Keeping her guard up was tiring, and she just didn't want to do it any more.
Donna was particularly on edge these days. She loved Janet so much it hurt. Janet was quickly becoming the center of her life and, to Donna, nothing else was as important. She felt the whole situation was her fault and if anything ever happened to Janet, she didn't know how she'd be able to live with herself. Being a model just wasn't worth Janet's life. Donna was so worried that she couldn't concentrate during her classes, which earned her a "C-" on Mrs. Abernathy's English quiz. This was the worst grade that Donna had earned so far this year. She gave a sigh of relief when the final bell rang signaling the end of her last class of the day.
Janet spent the rest of the afternoon at Donna's in the company of Donna, Nancy, Diane and Karen. Janet completed her homework in record time. She spent the rest of the afternoon helping the other girls with their math homework. The girls stayed away from any references to the events of Janet's life, continuing the unspoken agreement made during lunch to keep Janet distracted.
She had a pleasant dinner with the Fishers. Charlie was noticeably absent, much to Janet's relief. She wasn't sure how she would be able to handle seeing him again. She didn't want to be reminded of her own reaction to his kiss. She was trying to understand so many strange new feelings that, in all honesty, she had never expected to experience.
Janet was home by eight and managed to put off her mother's attempts to get her to practice her makeup techniques by pleading exhaustion from a hectic day. She couldn't, however, get out of her now nightly routine of skin and hair care. Finally, around nine, she fell into bed and immediately dropped into a deep sleep.
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Janet was running down the hall, trying to get away from the fast moving surge of girls who were after her. They were shouting obscenities and climbing over each other. She kept falling because the layers of petticoats under her ball gown were wrapping around her legs as though they had a mind of their own. The corset under her gown felt like a vise, squeezing the life out of her, and accentuated the difficulty in her flight for her life. She wasn't sure why the girls were mad at her; she only knew that they were and she feared for her life. As she reached the end of the hall, she turned and made a grab for the doorknob, but it wasn't there.
She tore her attention away from the mob that was closing in and looked down to find the missing doorknob. The stairwell door was ripped nearly off its hinges by some unnatural force. Janet was startled by the sound of the door hitting the wall and her heart skipped a beat.
Jay jumped out and gently eased Janet behind him. He was dressed in medieval armor, complete with breastplate, chain-mail, and helm. He was brandishing a four foot broadsword in his right hand. His left hand held an ornate silver shield.
Jay's ability to brandish that sword with one hand instilled a sense of safety in Janet that the situation didn't warrant. But her panic rose again when she heard the din of high voice coming from the bottom of the stairwell. It was hopeless and she knew it.
"I will protect thee, milady," Jay said in an archaic English accent.
The enraged mob moving down the hallway toward them slowed, fearing the wrath of Jay's sword, but their courage was bolstered by the growing sound of the reinforcements bubbling up the stairwell. They began to advance once again.
Jay dropped the sword, realizing his inability to protect his ladylove. He wrapped Janet in his chain-mailed arms, holding the shield at her back. He looked down into her beautiful eyes, saying, "I go to my grave with a love I hold for no other." He bent his head down and kissed his lady-fair with a passion that left Janet without any doubts of his undying love. He then tightened his embrace and hurtled himself through the window at the end of the hall. Jay used the shield and his body to protect Janet from the shower of broken glass. As they fell, he maneuvered himself into a position where he would take the impact of the ground rushing to meet them.
As they fell, time seemed to slow. Janet kept wondering when they would hit and struggled to maintain her readiness....
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Janet woke abruptly and blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to determine where she was. Her heart pounded in her chest. The perspiration beaded on her face and ran in little rivulets down her throat, causing her to shiver uncontrollably. It took her several minutes to realize that it was all just a dream. The terror began to fade, as well as the memory. She felt the chill of the cool morning air as her heartbeat returned to a normal rate and she laid back down and huddled under the covers. Her hair was soaked and so were the sheets, which did little to bring warmth to her quivering body. She looked up at the clock above her head. "Five o'clock," she thought. "I might as well get up. I don't think I can get back to sleep anyway."
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"Hey dude. How's it going up there?" asked Mayhem in a rather loud whisper.
"Almost done," came the distracted reply from the opening left by the removed ceiling tile. "Man! This is a sweet setup," said Chuck, a bit too loud.
"Keep it down, dude. The janitors will be gettin' here any time. C'mon, get the lead out. We need to be out of here like right now."
"Yeah, right," Chuck mumbled. "Let's see, user account set up and checked out... video and audio inputs verified..." Chuck reluctantly tore his attention away from the state-of-the-art laptop and stuck his head down through the opening of the ceiling. "Hey, somebody go to the desk." He returned to the laptop and verified that the inputs were being recorded properly. He closed the laptop and climbed down, replacing the ceiling tile. "All set."
***********************
Janet made her way to the admin building once again. During the past week, she'd spent more time there than she had in her classes. The morning was, in essence, a repeat of the previous day. Ms. Fairchild refused to accept the fact that Janet had been excused from detention and sent her to Mr. Grainger's office again. Mr. Grainger assured Janet that he would deal with Ms. Fairchild and sent her to her next class. She hung out near her homeroom so that she could meet Donna and Diane, who normally walked her to her next class. She was becoming uncomfortable with the girls' reaction to the way Ms. Fairchild treated her and thought it might be a good idea to pretend that nothing had happened today. She didn't believe in revenge and didn't want the girls doing anything to exact that revenge on her behalf.
Just as the girls showed up, Janet noticed two boys arguing outside her homeroom. As the events unfolded, she was left with the feeling of deja vu. "Donna, check it out. I swear the same thing happened just the other day."
Donna glanced back as Ms. Fairchild confronted the two boys, then shrugged her shoulders as she turned back to Janet. "SSDD," she commented.
"Yeah, but..."
"Oh come on. You know as well as I do that there are probably twenty fights a day around here. As I said, 'Same Shit, Different Day'. Now we should get to class, ya think?" Donna was glad that Janet seemed to put it out of her mind and felt reluctant to assuage her curiosity, but she just had to know. "So... I take it that homeroom was uneventful."
"Ummm... yeah..." lied Janet. She detected Donna's more than passing interest and wasn't sure what to say. "Actually, so far it's been pretty good." It wasn't exactly a lie. She didn't have to spend much time in homeroom under the scrutiny of Ms. Fairchild, which was good.
Donna knew Janet was lying -- she wasn't very good at it -- but decided not to push it. She just had to be patient.
The girls left Janet at her Algebra class. Then, five minutes later, Janet was on her way to meet with Miss Dicowski.
She knew this meeting was coming. After all, Miss Dicowski had said as much yesterday, but she still felt a certain amount of reluctance. Miss Dicowski would probably want to discuss things that Janet would rather not even think about. She knew she had to, eventually. But why did it have to be now? The changes in her life were happening too fast and furious for her to even think of all the ramifications. She really wished she could just enjoy herself for now. For the first time in her life, Janet felt good and didn't see any need to spoil it with deep emotional issues that could wait, at least for a little while.
Janet arrived at the guidance councilors' offices before she realized it. She wasn't ready for the upcoming confrontation with her feelings... feelings which she was perfectly happy to just experience and not analyze for now. The door was open so she knocked on the door jamb.
Miss Dicowski looked up from the file she was perusing and smiled warmly. "Mark, please come in and have a seat," she said, hiding her uneasiness.
"Morning, Miss Dicowski," replied Janet shyly as she sat down. She noticed that Miss Dicowski watched her intensely as she moved. She wondered what Miss Dicowski was thinking, but she couldn't tell from the forced expression on her face.
Dana stood up, moved to the door and closed it. She could've asked Mark to close it on his way into the room, but she needed the time to reaffirm her resolve to view Mark as a child. She had tried to see the student as the boy he was, but failed to do so. She had finally concluded that it didn't matter whether or not she saw Mark as male or female, he was still a child of thirteen. Well, nearly fourteen, but a child nonetheless. Any feelings that she might entertain when she closed her eyes and saw the pictures that were in the newspaper belonged in the realm of fantasies and dreams and had no place in the real world. This child needed help in dealing with the changes in his life and didn't need the complications that could arise because she couldn't put a rein on her libido. She was determined to not cause this student any harm because she couldn't control herself. Dana was still unsure whether or not she could help. She wasn't even sure she should help, other than trying to open the door to his intellectual potential. She wasn't trained for the situation that she now faced, but, then again, she couldn't think of any other guidance councilor in this school who might be better qualified. After all, she did have a unique viewpoint compared to the other councilors.
"How are you today?" Dana asked, still unsure where to begin. She went back to her desk and sat down.
"Not bad, considering," Janet returned.
Dana's curiosity peaked causing her eye brows to lift slightly. "Considering?" she questioned. "Considering what, exactly?"
Janet felt like kicking herself. She'd never had a runaway mouth before. "Ummm... considering it's early yet. Considering I didn't have to deal with Ms. Fairchild for very long this morning. Or considering I really don't want to talk about the things I think you want to talk about."
"Mark, I can understand that you'd want to not think about the repercussions of your new job, but you're going to have to deal with them eventually. In my experience, the sooner the better." Dana paused to gauge his reaction. She saw Mark cringe slightly. "But first things first. Why did you not have to deal with Ms. Fairchild this morning?"
"Oh, Ms. Fairchild thinks that I should be in detention even though Mr. Grainger said I don't need to go. I didn't even get a chance to sit down before she sent me to his office. Mr. Grainger said he would handle Ms. Fairchild and sent me to my next class."
Dana still couldn't understand what Ms. Fairchild had against Mark that caused her seemingly intense hatred, but it was obvious that something had to be done about it. "Mark, what would you think about changing homerooms? I really don't understand why Ms. Fairchild treats you as she does, but maybe it would be wise to keep you two separated."
"Is that possible? I mean... I always thought that I was stuck with the same homeroom as long as I went to this school."
"Well, exceptions can be made under certain circumstances. I'll have to run it by Mr. Grainger, but I think your situation warrants it," explained Dana. She'd just have to convince Mr. Grainger. "Now, you hinted that you're expecting the day to get worse. At least I think that's what you meant by the 'it's early yet' comment. Isn't that just a bit of a defeatist attitude?"
"Yeah... I suppose," Janet sighed. "It's just that something always seems to happen to ruin my day. At least in the last week. I guess I'm just waiting."
"You know, how our day turns out depends greatly on our attitude going in. If you expect it to go badly, it usually does."
"Yeah, I know. But ever since I started modeling, things just happen."
"Such as?"
"Just things. I don't know... it seems like nothing's going as expected. I mean... it's like with Mom. I really thought she'd put her foot down and absolutely refuse to let me model. At the time, I was counting on it. I mean, it seems wrong for me to model girls clothes and Mom's really religious and she believes in the Bible and... and..." Janet trailed off. She was still confused by her mother's acceptance. "Anyway, I don't know why, but she believes it's the will of God."
"Do you like modeling?" Dana asked.
"I... it's not right. I mean, it can't be right for me to do this," she said as the tears formed. "Why me? What did I do to deserve this? All I want is to be like everyone else."
Dana's heart went out to the child sitting in front of her. She was starting to get a grasp of the kind of life Mark had to live and she felt something she wasn't quite sure how to define. Maternal came to mind, but she dismissed the thought. As a guidance councilor, she had to maintain a certain distance emotionally. "Mark, contrary to what society would like us to believe, we are all different. Religions as well as society tells us that we are to behave a certain way, feel a certain way. Most of us live our lives conforming to the defined norms, but the truth is, the defined norms are for the most part fictitious. Most people are not truly happy because they can't be themselves. They feel guilty because deep down they know that they are really not normal as society defines normal. They bury themselves deep within, so as to hide from the rest of the world what they consider to be wrong thinking and feeling. We really can't fault them for it because those who decide to be themselves are generally persecuted for it. So, the question is, do you want to be like everyone else and hide who you really are, or do you want to be true to yourself and be who you are?"
"I don't know. All I know is I'm not like everybody else. I never have been and I know I never will be. God, I just want to die," she sobbed.
Dana knew she shouldn't, but her heart couldn't remain oblivious to the pain Mark was feeling. She left her seat and knelt before Mark, wrapping him up into her arms. When Mark accepted the embrace and held on as if his life depended on it, the maternal feelings she had for the boy hit her full in the face. She realized that the sexual desire that she was so worried about was nonexistent. She knew she shouldn't let her feelings wander in the direction they had, but she knew it was better to feel maternal than turned on. She held onto him, comforting him as best she could, and let the motherly instinct grow.
Janet cried herself out and began to feel ashamed of her outburst. "I... I'm sorry. I guess everything that's happened in the last few days just got to me. This is the first time I've really had to think about all of it. I... I'm scared."
"I know, sweetie. I know."
Janet pulled herself back from Miss Dicowski and looked into her eyes. "What am I going to do? I feel like my life has gone out control. All my life, I didn't let anything bother me. I had control. Now... I don't know... I feel like..."
"Like your emotions are running away from you? You feel things you never felt before?"
"Well, yeah," Janet said, unable to hide her surprise.
Dana laughed; she couldn't help it. "Don't look so shocked. I went through it. Everyone does. It's called puberty."
"Oh." Janet's eyes glistened with renewed tears.
Dana's humor abated instantly as she realized Mark's renewed distress. "This is strange," she thought. "Most feel a sense of relief knowing that what they are going through is natural." She remembered her own puberty. How she wrestled with her feelings that were obviously different than the others. How she came to understand that she was gay and fought to be otherwise. It took her many years to finally accept who she was, but she was happier being herself. Was it right to encourage Mark in that direction? "Mark, puberty is hard on all of us. We feel things that seem strange to us. Don't fight it. Explore those feelings. Accept who you are. Fighting it will only make you miserable."
"But... you don't understand. I..."
"Oh, I think I do," she proclaimed. She didn't know if she was doing the right thing, but she continued, "Please don't spread it around, but I'm gay. Life was unbearable until I accepted it."
"No, you don't understand," Janet said shaking her head. "I... I'm not gay... exactly." She kept shaking her head, trying to physically shake loose her thoughts. "I don't know... maybe I am... but with me it's a little hard to know what being gay is."
"Maybe you're bisexual. I don't want to put ideas in your head. You're the only one who can say who you are. All I'm saying is, be who you are and not what you think you should be."
Janet sat for several minutes, thinking about who she was and who she thought she should be. Miss Dicowski returned to her own seat behind her desk. She finally looked up and began, "Miss Dicowski, I think I know what you're trying to say, but... I really wish it was as cut and dry as you say it is." She paused to gather her thoughts as well as her courage. "I think I should tell you... ummm... I'm not going through puberty normally... I... ummm... I'm growing breasts. I'm turning into a girl."
Dana was incredulous. The changes to the body during puberty can be very frightening, even overwhelming. At the very least, somewhat confusing. The jumble of emotions, coupled with the major changes in the overall structure of the body, could make a person feel like something's gone wrong, feel unnatural. Even though Mark's appearance was that of a very beautiful young lady, he was still a boy. "Mark, I know it can seem that way, but puberty is a rough time in anyone's life. You feel like your body is suddenly not right. Isn't it possible that the changes you're going through are just typical masculine development, and because of the modeling, you think it's going in the opposite direction? You could be gaining muscles in places you didn't think you had any before. The body can change very rapidly, making you feel awkward. Boys, especially, tend to change rather quickly."
"Yeah, I suppose... but, I'm not the only one who's noticed it. Mrs. Fisher says that the possibility isn't unheard of. She said I should see a doctor and have some tests run."
Dana scanned the notes she kept on their conversations. "Mrs. Fisher. That's your friend Donna's mother?"
Janet nodded. "Actually, it's Dr. Fisher. She's a child psychologist."
"I see..." she began skeptically, "I'm not one to dispute a doctor, but... it all sounds so... unusual. Dr. Fisher is right, though; you should see a doctor and have those tests run. At least it might alleviate some of your anxiety."
Janet was feeling a bit frustrated. She knew she was developing differently than she thought she should be, but maybe, just maybe, Miss Dicowski was right. She felt so right when she was wearing girl's clothes. Could it just be wishful thinking? Without a word, she stood and lifted her tee shirt up, exposing her bare chest. She really wasn't sure why she did it, but, for some reason, she felt the need to win Miss Dicowski over. Or maybe, she just wanted to have Miss Dicowski's skepticism verified.
Dana, realizing the possibility, was never the less stunned by the sight before her. Mark's nipples and the surrounding tissue were swollen. She couldn't help remembering her own breasts growing and how uncomfortable it was. He was developing female breasts, but they weren't the only indications that he was going through puberty as a girl. His waist was very small and the contrasting swell of his hips showed a body that any woman would envy. She knew he had a thin waistline from the pictures in the newspaper, but to actually see it in the flesh left her speechless.
She sat back in stunned silence for several minutes. Meanwhile, Mark had noticed her distraction and lowered his shirt. The wheels turning in Dana's brain locked onto a thought. "Mark, I think it would be a good idea to take you out of your Phys. Ed. class. If the other boys ever caught a glimpse of what I just saw..." She trailed off, leaving the consequences unspoken.
Janet contemplated what Miss Dicowski was getting at and cringed at the thought. "I never thought about it, but you're probably right. The only thing I'm worried about is graduating. I thought I was required to have so many credits in P.E."
"That's true, but under certain circumstances, those requirements can be waived. I think your situation warrants it. Puberty is rough enough, but what you're experiencing is way over the top. You need to see a doctor and get into some kind of therapy. Maybe something can be done to put your body on the right track."
"Yeah, I guess..." Janet began. She'd lost count of the number of times someone has pointed out her need for therapy. She knew they were right, but... "But Mom'll never go for it. I remember she once called psychologists 'agents of the devil.' She said that the mind was God's territory."
Mark's situation brought to mind a girlfriend Dana had in college. Susan was the daughter of a Southern Baptist preacher who struggled with her feelings that contradicted the beliefs she was raised with. She had rejected Dana's pleas to get into therapy, saying pretty much the same thing Mark had. As her prayers for healing of an evil infliction went unanswered, she grew more and more depressed. In the end, her anger and frustration with what she perceived to be punishment from God resulted in her taking her own life. Dana remembered her feelings of helplessness. She wasn't helpless now, and she decided to do something to help Mark, regardless of the consequences to herself.
First, Dana needed to ascertain Mark's present state of mind. Was he in any immediate danger of going off the deep end? He didn't appear to be, but appearances can be deceiving. She needed to know if she had time to work through legal channels or if she needed to intervene immediately by whatever means necessary. The latter could leave her without a job or, worse yet, in jail. "Mark," Dana paused, gathering her thoughts. She needed to word her question just right. Mark had a tendency to give answers that were precise and to the point, without elaboration. "How do you feel about modeling girls clothes and about the changes you're going through? Do your feelings conflict with your own beliefs?"
This meeting was turning out just as Janet had feared. Miss Dicowski was pressing her into thinking about the things she wanted keep buried for the moment. Maybe it was better to work through these feelings now, but it was tough. "I... I'm a little confused." That was the understatement of the year. She was a lot confused. "I know that what I'm doing is wrong, but... well... it's just that when I'm modeling it feels so right. I look in the mirror and I like what I see. That's never happened to me before. Do I have a right to feel good? I never thought so before, but...."
"I get the feeling you've never liked yourself before. Why is that? You seem a very likable young man."
"I... ummm... I've always hated the way I look. I look like a girl, always have. The girls were the only ones who wanted to be my friends and the boys always teased me about the way I look after they finally realized that I was a boy. I thought that, maybe, if I acted like the boys, I could fit in. I watched them and discovered that I hated the way they acted, so I gave up and decided to be alone. I figured that if I faded into the woodwork, nobody would pay any attention to me. I thought I was doing a good job, but lately I've found out that I was deluding myself. It seems everybody knows who I am. It's scary.
"Now, all I know is that when I'm dressed up and I look into the mirror, I like what I see. I feel... I feel... I don't know... I feel like there's hope, like I have a future. I've never felt like that before. Right or wrong, I like it. The thing that scares me the most is that I'll never feel that way again. I guess it's kind of like someone who was born without legs or something. They dream about running through a field of tall grass and then wake up to find everything is the way it was before. No legs. Can't run. I'm afraid of waking up." Janet was surprised about how much she talked. There was something about Miss Dicowski that made her want to open up.
"Mark, I don't know what the future has in store for you, but if you feel good, go with it. If it is a dream, then enjoy it while you can and remember how good it felt after you wake up. Memories make up a lot of who we are. Most of us tend to remember the bad stuff and forget the good. Remember the good." Dana felt better about Mark's state of mind. There were a lot of things he needed to work out, but he appeared to have a good head on his shoulders. He didn't seem like one who acted rashly and that in itself gave Dana the time she needed to follow legal channels.
Dana decided Mark had had enough of an emotional roller coaster ride for one morning and changed the subject. The first eight grades were sort of a free for all, but ninth grade was when a student needed to begin planning their future and their educational needs to realize that future. All the test indicated Mark was highly intelligent, but his grades told another story. The test said he should excel in all areas, but apparently, math and science were the only subjects he did well. He seemed to struggle through history and English. Why was that? His reading comprehension was up in the high percentiles. He spoke well, using proper sentence structure. His vocabulary was measured at college level. Why was he barely passing these subjects?
Over the next half an hour, Dana began to get a clearer picture. Mark didn't put out any effort where his education was concerned. Math and Science were basically no-brainers for him. He did the work without effort. It seemed that any subject he had to work at, even a little, he applied himself just enough to pass, not excel. Bottom line was, he simply didn't care. Dana had to find a way to instill in Mark a desire to be the best he could be. She realized his attitude was ingrained from many years of hopelessness of having any future at all. She began to see that Mark's modeling was changing his attitude. He indicated he felt hopeful for the first time in his life and Dana wanted to continue building up his hopes. His modeling was turning out to be a two edged sword. On one hand, it could blow up in his face. On the other, if his outlook on life could improve, he had a real chance of success in anything he put his mind to. Confidence was the key. She needed make an attempt to build up his self worth to the point where he could withstand the inevitable revelation of his modeling to the rest of the student body. Realistically, the other students would find out. It was just a matter of time.
As Mark's lunch period loomed, Dana brought the meeting to a close. She had several things that she could do immediately to help him avoid exposure prematurely. He needed time to adjust to the changes in his life. In the interim, she could see about getting him the help he needed to understand just what was happening to him. Dana realized that, for Mark to plan any sort of future at all, he needed to know what to expect. Was his apparent female puberty temporary, or did he need to accept that he would be more female than male? Dana felt confident that Mark could live with being female. Actually, she was getting the impression that Mark liked the idea of being a girl. She didn't know him before all the changes, but it seemed like he was always a girl. She couldn't imagine him ever becoming a man.
"Mark, I want to think about what you want to do with your life. Starting next year, you need to plan your education. The competition to get into some of the better universities is very grueling. You need to prepare for it. It would be a shame to see a mind such as yours go to waste. For now, think about what class you want to take instead of P.E. Also, expect to be reassigned to a new homeroom starting Monday." Mark nodded. Dana continued, addressing her other concerns, "I feel it's imperative that you see a doctor ASAP. You need to know what to expect. If it's possible to reverse the changes to your body, you need to decide what exactly you want. You'll need to make your choice soon. I suspect that, by summer, if you continue to develop as you are, it'll become difficult, if not impossible, to hide it. So, you need to know your options."
"To be honest, I'm not sure what Mom'll want to do. I do know she won't want to change my natural development or allow me to see any shrinks. But, then again, she's not acting as I thought she would," Janet shrugged. "You're right, though. I need to know what's happening to me." As much as Janet hated to think about the strangeness of her life, she wanted to know what to expect.
Dana was deep in thought when Mark left for lunch. She had a few things to talk over with Mr. Grainger. He seemed to be avoiding any discussion where Mark was concerned. Well, she'd just have to press the issue. Mark's well being couldn't wait for Mr. Grainger to feel comfortable about discussing it. She decided she was going to have lunch with him in his office. If she forced the issue, he'd have no choice.
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Janet inadvertently wandered between the gym and the condemned shower building. She was preoccupied with the things Miss Dicowski asked her to think about, so she wasn't paying attention. The morning had been up and down emotionally and the thoughts going through her mind promised to keep her on the roller coaster. It was still a few minutes before the end of the period, which left her completely alone, or so she thought.
"Well, lookie here," came the smug voice in front of Janet. "What's a hot babe like you doing wandering around during class?"
Janet's head snapped up in instant fear. Normally, no one ever bothered her, but there was something about the boy's comment that raised the hairs on the back of her neck. She recognized the boy as the leader of one of the gangs that hung out in the park next to the school. She then noticed three others who were in his gang. They had her surrounded and her fear increased substantially.
"Hey, bro," said one of the other guys. "That's the guy everybody is talking about."
"No way!" returned the leader incredulously. "Ain't no way this fine babe is a guy."
Janet felt fear like she'd never felt before. She'd had this nightmare many times, but never had it been realized until now. And she definitely didn't need this now.
"I'm tellin' you, this is the guy. Look at the way he dresses."
"No fuckin' way!" the leader said as he grabbed the top of Janet's tee shirt and yanked it down violently, tearing a five inch strip down to the hem of the shirt and exposing her bare chest. "See! No guy has tits like that, and I'm gonna get me some." He seized her behind her neck and latched on to one of her budding breasts as he tried to force her lips to his.
Janet felt herself drifting away. The situation began to resemble a movie. She became an observer rather than a participant. Was this what happened to rape victims? Reality crashed upon her as she became aware of her release. Somehow she'd slid down the wall to a sitting position. She found herself clutching her windbreaker close to her bare chest, suddenly grateful that the morning had been chilly.
She looked up to see Mayhem jamming his forearm into the guy's neck, pushing him into the wall. It was obvious the guy was having a hard time breathing. The others, not wanting to cross Mayhem and risk a gang war they had no hope of winning, left their leader and scattered to the four winds.
"Do you understand me?" Mayhem yelled into the guy's face.
The guy nodded. He was having trouble breathing, let alone talking.
Mayhem let the guy go. "Put the word out. My man Mark, here, is under my protection. Mess with him and you got me to deal with. Got it?" he said to the guy's retreating back.
Mayhem then sat down next to Janet. "You okay, dude?"
Janet was still in shock. She was barely aware of where she was. The whole incident was like a nightmare that she, thank God, had woken up from before anything happened. When the bell signaling the end of the period rang, she was torn out of her semi-conscious state. All the suppressed fear overwhelmed her and she broke down into uncontrollable sobs.
Mayhem never felt so helpless. What to do? The situation was beyond anything he'd ever dealt with before. Eventually, he did the only thing he could think of. He placed his arm over Janet's shoulders, but Janet's response sent him into overwhelming panic.
Janet unconsciously buried her face into Mayhem's shoulder, relishing the comfort his arm on her shoulders provided. The safety she felt in his embrace allowed her bottled up emotions to flow unabated. Mayhem tried to extricate himself from the all too intimate position, but Janet was having none of it. A few minutes later she began to wind down.
Mayhem looked down at the top of Janet's head. The scent of her hair was having a rather uncomfortable affect on him. The stares from the other students who were starting their lunch period or were between classes added to his nervousness. "You gonna make it?" he asked, trying once again to separate himself from her, unsuccessfully. "Come on. You need to see the nurse. Can you stand?"
"NO!" Janet exclaimed as her head snapped up to look into his eyes. She quickly averted her gaze, seeing something in his eyes that she didn't want to deal with. "I just need to get to the girls." She looked into his eyes again briefly. "I'll be okay," she added in response to his doubtful expression.
He shrugged, not believing her, but he wasn't about to force her to do anything she didn't want. He helped her to her feet and headed to the igloo. She was still unwilling to let go of his strength and he resigned himself to the inevitable.
Donna saw Mayhem and Janet moving through the crowd toward her and the girls. Janet appeared to be hurt and Donna felt panic well up from the depths of her being. What had happened to her love? Why was Mayhem hugging her so closely? She didn't know what was going on, but she sure as hell was going to find out, and when she did, there was going to be hell to pay.
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