By L. Rochelle
(c) 1999 L. Rochelle
lrochelle@zdnetonebox.com
This is my first attempt at writing of any kind, let alone a story. Please keep in mind that this is a work in progress and may be changed to reflect and enhance events that may occur as the story unfolds. I have decided to go ahead and post this story in an uncompleted form to Fiction Mania's Mailing list in the hopes of receiving some input and criticism. Also, I would like to point out that this story thus far contains no sex, but has a TG theme. So, if you are offended by such a story or are underage (-18), please deposit in the circular file.
At this point, I would like to thank several people for their patience and understanding. To ChilliTNG, thank you for editing this hack job and providing the instruction that I sorely needed to be able to write at all. To Janice Dreamer, for your kind words of praise for my developing writing abilities as well as a second editor. Thank you for taking the time to post this story to the list for me. And last of all I give special thanks to Wendy J for your encouragement and input. Your friendship and love has been an inspiration to me. I also thank you for believing in me and my abilities even when I wouldn't believe in myself. To all three of my dear friends I love you all and count myself lucky to consider you as the best of friends.
Sapphire has exclusive rights to archive this story at Sapphire's Place. All rights to "Making Lemonade" is mine alone.
Chapter Eight
Janet stood in front of the mirror, awed by his reflection -- no, her reflection. No matter what she knew to be true, looking at the image in the mirror, she just didn't see the boy she was supposed to be. "Oh, God. What is happening? Even in a pair of jeans and a sweater, I look...." she thought. Janet hadn't removed the makeup, thinking it might be better to keep up appearances, at least until she got back to Donna's and could change clothes.
When Janet finally made her way out of the dressing room, the last four finalists were going through the routine of hair and makeup. She realized that the embarrassment she felt when she first walked into the dressing room full of half naked girls didn't exist anymore. She wondered about the significance of the change in perception, but decided not to dwell on it at the moment. There was plenty of time for reflection of the day when she was alone. Plus, she thought it might be a good idea to discuss it with Mrs. Fisher, or maybe she should start to think of her as Dr. Fisher.
Donna, Kelly, Karen, and Sylvia were waiting for her slightly away from Mr. and Mrs. Fisher. Janet was greeted warmly, but did notice a change in the way the girls treated her. She supposed it had to do with the way she looked at the moment. Also, she couldn't blame them; she, too, had been thinking of herself in terms of "she" and "her".
"Damn, girl! I just can't get over it," admired Sylvia.
Janet smiled and shrugged. "I'm a little amazed myself."
Charlie came into the shop just then. As he approached the group, he saw Janet, surrounded by the other girls. "Damn!" he swore softly as he averted his eyes. He placed himself in a position in front of his parents with his back to the girls. "Can we get outta here already?" he addressed his Dad impatiently.
"In a few minutes. Ms. Jamison wanted to talk to us before we left," responded Mrs. Fisher.
"Well, I'll be hanging out in the mall," he said, starting for the exit.
"Charlie, wait. Ms. Jamison asked for all of us, especially you."
He stopped in his tracks. "Me?" he questioned. "What have I got to do with any of this? Hey, wait a minute. She doesn't think..."
"I doubt that very much," Mr. Fisher replied, grinning. "I don't think it'd work, do you?"
"Not a chance," he replied immediately. "So then, why me?"
"I really haven't a clue. Maybe she just wants to make sure that none of us say anything about Janet."
"Janet?" questioned Charlie. "Who the hell is Janet?" He hadn't been present when Mrs. Fisher informed everyone of Mark's new name. Charlie looked over at the group of girls and then it dawned on him. "Oh."
Just at that moment, the door to the manager's office opened and Mayhem walked out, carrying a manila envelope. He looked at the girls, smiled, and then walked out of the shop.
Donna looked at Janet, silently questioning the presence of Mayhem in the manager's office, as though Janet knew what was going on. Janet could only shrug in confusion.
"Wasn't that Mayhem?" asked Sylvia.
Donna nodded, "Yep. Maybe he got chewed out. But then again, I don't think he'd stick around for that."
"Maybe he wanted an opportunity to meet the newest teen phenom," Karen teased, pointing at Janet.
"Oh, please," smiled Janet. "That's all I need."
"Come on, Janet, you know you love it. You can act like you're being forced to do this, but you're not fooling me."
Janet bowed his head in shame because the truth was he had had fun today. He knew the day was at an end. Reality set in and Janet was feeling as though he were waking up from a dream... or maybe a better description would be, returning to the same old nightmare.
"Oh, God. I'm sorry, Janet," apologized Karen. "It's just that you seemed to be having fun up there." She embraced Janet and whispered into her ear, "Besides, I love the way you look. There's something about seeing you as a beautiful girl and knowing you're not. Kinda gets me going. And, I get a kick out of seeing all the boys drooling over you."
Janet's mind reeled with the implications of Karen's words. Karen had been a participant in Janet's most recent and vivid fantasies. Janet didn't have time to dwell on the thoughts coursing through his mind, though, because Carol came out of the office and asked everyone to come in.
Carol handed everyone, except Karen and Sylvia, a manila envelope. "Now, I suppose you all are wondering what is going on. We have put together a photo shoot at the center of the mall tomorrow. Management has kindly consented to forego the Santa Claus for one day. Of course, we've had to promise media coverage to provide some publicity for the mall itself. And it'll be good for the bridal shop as well.
"The shoot will revolve around a wedding scene in which Janet will be the bride. Donna, you'll be the maid of honor and Kelly will be the flower girl. We are working on getting the other finalists to be the bride's maids. Which brings us to Mr. and Mrs. Fisher and Charlie. Since we threw this all together in short order, there wasn't any opportunity to get professional models. So, I would like you, Mr. and Mrs. Fisher, to be the parents of the groom and Charlie to be the groom. The young man who walked out of this office earlier, Carlo Delmaggio, has been enlisted as the best man."
Carol looked around the room and smiled at the stunned expressions. "In the envelopes, you'll find your contracts. In the case of Mr. and Mrs. Fisher and Charlie, the contracts are for the single shoot. Donna and Kelly will find exclusive one year contracts as per the guidelines for the competition we conducted. Janet, your contract is nonexclusive. John felt the need to be able to use you for other advertising. You'll also find legal documents that address your... unique situation."
"Ummm..." Janet interrupted. "I think you're just wasting your time. Without my mom's permission, you can't use the pictures, right?"
John cleared his throat and a sly grin formed across his face. "Janet, remember I told you to leave your mother to me. If you'll look at your documents, you'll find your mother has given her consent."
"But... but..." started Janet, but he was so tongue-tied, he couldn't continue. It seemed like a hundred questions were barreling through his mind. He'd counted on his mother to deny him participation, releasing him from the responsibility of destroying Donna's and Kelly's dreams.
"Janet, please look at the documents. I'm sure you'll recognize your mother's signature," John stated smugly.
Janet opened the envelope and removed the documents. The first document dealt with the use of the name of "Janet Marianne O'Connell" to conduct business. "But... I thought Susanne made up the name for today."
"Actually, my dear, your mother provided the name. Apparently, your parents were expecting a girl and that was the name they had originally picked for you."
"But... how?" questioned Janet, his mind still numb from the revelation. "Mom wouldn't consent to this sort of thing. Her religious beliefs would make her dead set against it."
"Ahhh... but it was her religious beliefs that convinced her. Carol pointed out that God gave you your beauty and it seemed a sin to waste it. After all, you're just modeling clothing. And this was an opportunity for you to build up a college fund to utilize your God-given intellect."
"Oh..." Janet couldn't think of anything else to say. His only out had been his mother, and now that was gone, too. He wondered what his life was going to be like from now on. The prospect of leading a double life wasn't something he wanted, but the thought of continuing to feel as good about himself as he had that day set up confusion in his mind. The ball was back in his corner and he had to make decisions that would affect his life, probably forever. The decision he made would impact others, too.
While he contemplated his options, a knock at the door drew Carol's attention. "Yes," she called out. The door opened and Susanne walked in, carrying several dresses wrapped in plastic, which she hung up on the clothing rack in the corner of the office near the door. Jacqueline was right behind her with a dozen or so shoe boxes. "Thank you, ladies. Susanne, would you please stay?" Jacqueline placed the shoe boxes on a table next to the rack, smiled at Janet, and then left the room, closing the door behind her. "Susanne, please stand next to Janet." Susanne complied while Carol continued, "Well, what do you think, John?"
"Yes, I believe it'll work. The resemblance is slight, but with the right makeup..."
"Susanne, as you know, we've planned a wedding shoot for tomorrow. We need you to be the mother of the bride," said Carol. "Now, all we need is someone to play the father..."
"Wait!" interrupted Janet. "I haven't said I'll sign this stupid thing."
"Yeah," Charlie put in. "I don't like this whole idea. Why me?" He wasn't comfortable with the thought of having to spend a day in the presence of Janet. She had an unwelcome effect on his mind, not to mention his libido.
"Come now, Janet," replied John. "You know you'll sign. What other choice do you have?"
Janet glared at John, trying to give his most scathing look, but the makeup he retained covered the evil intent. "You're still gonna hold Donna and Kelly over my head?"
"If I must, but I think there are other factors that will convince you," replied John. An evil, knowing smile formed on his face, reminding Janet of Al Pacino in "The Devil's Advocate". "One, there is your mother. She firmly believes that this is God's will. And second, I think you're hooked. The way you move, the way your personality shines, even your outlook on life changes when you're in front of the camera. The sadness in your eyes disappears when you're mindful of your beauty. Even now, as angry as you're trying to be, I can see this situation doesn't entirely displease you. Oh, and one more point that I don't think you're aware of. If you'll look at page eight of your contract, the section dealing with our obligations to you and your compensation for your services, you'll see...."
Janet's eyes became as big as saucers. He couldn't believe the amount that they were going to pay him for each photo shoot. John was right. The monetary compensation was enough to convince him to sign. As much as he liked to believe that he was immune to the allure of money, the sum quoted in the contract was hard to pass up. "You win," Janet conceded. "I guess I'll sign."
Susanne jumped in at this point. "Janet, I suggest you have a lawyer look over that contract before you sign it. There are certain obligations that you have to conform to. You should be completely aware of what is expected of you as well as what is expected of John and Carol. Donna and Kelly, I recommend the same for you, too."
John's annoyance with Susanne's interference briefly surfaced, but he covered quickly, his salesman's countenance returning. "Susanne's right. You should be fully cognizant of what is required of you. But, please, don't take too long. We need to have the contracts signed by next weekend. Also, there is one of your obligations that I must address immediately. You need to have your ears pierced. Triple piercings in both ears. You must keep in style with today's teenage girl. Please don't have them done until after tomorrow's shoot, but they do need to be done tomorrow."
Mr. Fisher's anger was barely restrained, mostly due to Mrs. Fisher's hand squeezing his reprovingly. He could now see how Janet had been led to the situation she was now in. John Carlton was a very unpleasant man. He was without scruples and was willing to take advantage of a child for his own personal gain. Regardless of what Mrs. Fisher thought, Mr. Fisher was going to have a talk with George, his lawyer. There must be some way to protect Janet from being exploited by this "vulture".
Charlie was having trouble restraining the anger he also felt. His ire stemmed from a mixture of annoyance at being ignored and outraged at the way Janet had been manipulated. He was feeling a strange protectiveness for Janet that he was unwilling to dwell upon at the moment. "Hey, I don't think I can do this. You need to find someone else to be your groom," he said, finally getting in a word.
"I wish you would reconsider, Charlie," replied Carol. "You're a very handsome young man and I think you and Janet would make a lovely couple."
"Me and Janet?" Charlie thought to himself. "A lovely couple? No way! Not happening!" He briefly glanced at Janet, her face was beet-red even through the makeup. "I don't think so!" he said adamantly.
"I think I can understand your feelings on that point. But maybe the monetary compensation for your participation in tomorrow's shoot will convince you. If you'll look at the contract, you'll see that we'll pay you five hundred dollars. Mr. and Mrs. Fisher, you'll both receive the same for your participation as well."
That convinced Charlie. He began to think about the things he could do with five hundred dollars. After all, he only had to get through one day. He optimistically thought it might be good practice to be around Janet, since it seemed she was going to be spending more time around the house. Maybe he could get over his unnatural attraction to her.
"Now, if there are no more arguments, I need you, Charlie and Mr. Fisher, to go to 'Marcus Wilcox' to be fitted for the tuxedos. They are located about half way down this wing, across the mall and upstairs. They are expecting you."
"When will we get paid for this?" asked Charlie.
"You'll be paid after the shoot is completed, if we have signed contracts. Otherwise, you'll receive payment when the signed contracts are received by us.
"Oh, one more thing. Janet, Donna, and Kelly, those are the dresses and shoes you three wore today." Carol gestured to the rack of clothing that Susanne and Jacqueline brought in earlier. "As per your contracts, any garments that you model are yours to keep. Normally, we wouldn't let you take anything until we have your signed contracts, but John's confident that we'll have them. And Janet's willingness to sign is a factor in this decision."
Mr. and Mrs. Fisher began whispering in each other's ear. A moment later Mr. Fisher addressed Carol, "Ms. Jamison, Janine and I would like to bow out of this." Mr. Fisher took the envelope from his wife and placed it on the desk along with his. "You have us cast as the parents of the groom which I think is rather unnecessary in the scheme of things. To go along with you in this would be like condoning your actions in dealing with Janet. If my children want to participate, I'll allow it, but if Janet in any way doesn't want to cooperate with your plans for her, I WILL use every resource at my disposal to fight you and your evil photographer here." He turned and glared at John. "You, sir, are a prime example of why we should teach our children the virtues of birth control. And after meeting you, I need to reevaluate my position on the issue of abortion."
Carol visibly cringed; she hated being placed in the same category as John Carlton. "I can sympathize with your opinion of us. I, too, am not entirely at ease with the way we have dealt with Janet. As far as your participation with tomorrow's shoot, you're correct, we don't really need to have a mother and father of the groom."
John hadn't been daunted by the insults Mr. Fisher threw at him. He wouldn't feel guilty about the way he found it necessary to get Janet's cooperation. "Mr. Fisher, you're entitled to your opinions. But, I stand by my convictions and the means which I've employed to secure Janet's services. My job is to showcase the magnificence of the human form to the world... and the world deserves to see her beauty."
"Be that as it may, the ends will never, at least in my mind, justify the means. I can't, in good conscience, agree with your methods. You are no better than any child molester in the prisons today," returned Mr. Fisher.
"Please, can we suspend this argument? It gets us nowhere, and we have quite a bit to do yet," injected Carol. "Now, Charlie, can I count on your participation tomorrow?"
Charlie had been listening to the exchange between his dad and the photographer. He looked at his father; receiving a nod of consent, he replied, "Yeah, I'll be there."
"Very well. If you would, they are waiting for you at 'Marcus Wilcox'."
The group filed out of the office, everyone helping with the packages and dresses. As Janet stood up, John took her hand and kissed it, saying, "Until tomorrow."
Just before they were completely out the door, Carol called out, "Oh, please be here at nine AM tomorrow."
As soon as the door to the office closed, John glared at Susanne. "Susanne," he stated calmly, "you're fired. I can't have an assistant who contradicts me at every turn."
"Suits me just fine. I was feeling a little guilty about working for a scum-bag like you anyway."
"Now, now, Susanne. No need to get hostile. As I said, I need an assistant who'll work for ME. Since you seem to feel some sort of maternal instinct for Janet... I think you should become her personal assistant. The contract provides for one, and if you could convince Janet that you were the best choice, I think you would be happier. You could protect her from me. She might feel more at ease with you to turn to."
"How do I convince her? She probably sees me as one of your flunkies. I doubt she'll trust me."
"We can appoint you as her temporary assistant, pending her own choice. It'll be up to you to prove yourself. Now, since you are no longer my assistant, be gone."
"With pleasure. Carol, it has been enlightening. I can honestly say that I'm proud of myself. I'm glad to know that I've done the right thing and didn't let personal gain compromise my moral sense," said Susanne. She turned and strode out of the office.
Mrs. Fisher was the first to speak as the group gathered in the mall. "Frank, why don't you and Charlie go on up to the tux shop? The girls and I need to do a little shopping. Oh, and maybe you should call George. See if he could meet us at home... say... at seven this evening."
"Good idea, dear. Something needs to be done about that Mr. Carlton."
"Hon, I think we should concentrate on the contracts at the moment. Make sure he's up on modeling contracts." Mrs. Fisher kissed Mr. Fisher and pushed him to the escalator leading to the second floor.
Just then, Susanne strode out of the shop and bumped into Mrs. Fisher as she turned around to return to the rest of the group. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mrs. Fisher."
"That's quite all right," she returned, noticing the shoulder bag and purse Susanne was carrying. "Finished for the day? I thought you had another group of finalists to shoot."
"Yes, there are four more to shoot, but..." Susanne hesitated. She continued a moment later, thinking this might be the right time to make her position clear. "I've been fired."
"Oh, Susanne. I'm so sorry. Is there anything we can do to help?"
"Not at the moment, Mrs. Fisher. Actually, I'm rather pleased I'm no longer working for John and I'm not completely out of a job. Carol and John have offered me the job of temporary assistant to Janet until Janet can find her own, which I accepted gladly. She must have a personal assistant -- the contract specifies one and provides for one, financially. After that, I guess I'll need to look for other work."
"Oh, that's wonderful. I'm sure Janet will be happy. She does like you quite a bit. And my name is Janine, okay?"
Susanne smiled; working for Janet had somehow appealed to her. "Well, if Janet needs to have anything in the contract explained," she said as she produced a business card and handed it to Janine, "my home phone is on the back. I really am looking forward to working for her. She's going to be popular very soon, you know. I've been in this business for twelve years and I've learned to recognize the qualities that all the really big supermodels have. Janet has those qualities in spades."
"You really think so?" asked Janine curiously. "I know she has an attractiveness, and to look into her eyes...."
"There's a little more to it than that, but you're right. Once I looked into her eyes... I don't know... you can almost see the whole universe there... they're mesmerizing. Anyway, I probably should go. I'll see you tomorrow. Oh, and I just want to tell you that I'm really sorry about the way things have been handled. I WILL promise you that, as long as I'm Janet's personal assistant, I won't allow John or anyone else to take advantage of her."
"I'm glad to hear that. She's highly intelligent but still quite young and naive. Are you in a hurry? We were about to go shopping; Janet needs to have her own clothes. Right now she's wearing Donna's. It'd be great if you could join us."
"Sure, it'll give me a chance to show her I'm on her side. I hope you're planning on some lingerie. She should start dressing like the superstar she's going to be."
"Actually, that was going to be our first stop -- Vickie's."
Janine and Susanne joined the girls, who were chatting away, trying to ignore Mayhem's crew, who had been hanging out a little ways down the mall.
"Girls, let's go shopping." Mrs. Fisher and Susanne began walking purposefully down the mall.
Janet and the girls caught up to them. Janet noticed that, when Mrs. Fisher had shopping on the brain, she was difficult to keep up with, not to mention anticipating the frequent stops at the windows here and there. Scientists could make a lifetime commitment to the understanding of the psyche of the female shopper and still not fully understand it.
When Mrs. Fisher walked into Victoria's Secret, Janet became nervous. He'd never been in a lingerie store and felt out of place, and his trepidation only increased when she handed him several bras and told him to go try them on. "Ummm... Mrs. Fisher... I can't do that."
"Sure you can, sweetie. You need some clothes of your own," Mrs. Fisher insisted. "Donna, would you go with her and lend a hand?"
"'Kay, Mom." Donna grabbed Janet by the shoulders and propelled her to the dressing rooms. "C'mon, Janet. I'll keep you company."
"But..." Janet started to protest, but he'd already been pushed into the dressing room and was being directed to one of the stalls.
The dressing room was crowded with several women. One woman, trying on a nearly sheer teddy, was admiring her reflection in the full length mirror at the far wall of the room. The small scrap of material left nothing to the imagination. Janet felt totally out of place and went into a stall, mainly to keep from having to see the other women. She thought about suddenly lumping herself with "the other women". Her mind was having a difficult time with the constant switching back and forth between male and female. She wondered what her self-image would finally settle on. Was it better to think of herself as the boy she was born as, or the girl she was becoming? Janet decided that now wasn't the time to philosophize and removed her sweater and bra. She then noticed she was still wearing the white lace push-up that she wore with the last dress she modeled.
"How's it going in there?" asked Donna impatiently.
"'Kay, I guess."
"I want to see." Donna recognized the change in inflection of Janet's speech. "She's back," she thought. "I wonder if she'll develop a split personality. I think I need to mention this to Mom."
Janet grabbed the first bra in the pile and put it on. It was a black lace push-up, similar to the white one she'd been wearing. She glanced in the small mirror in the cubicle and was amazed with the amount of flesh on her chest. She thought her budding breasts were getting bigger by the minute. Trying not to linger on the matter, she hesitantly exited the stall.
Donna took one look at her and exclaimed, "Wow! You look great in black!"
Just then, Susanne walked into the dressing room with several other items. Karen and Sylvia were right behind her. Susanne handed Janet the garments. "Janine wants you to try these on, too."
"Damn, girl!" Sylvia admired. "Donna's right. You look great in black."
"Donna, your mom wants you try some things on, too. She wants you to go out and see her," said Karen.
Donna looked at Janet and asked, "Are you gonna be okay? I hate leave you alone."
"I'll stay with her," came Susanne's immediate response. "After all, it's my job at the moment."
Janet stared at Susanne questioningly.
Susanne recognized the inquiries reflected in Janet's eyes and answered, "Janet, I don't work for John anymore. For right now, I'm your personal assistant, at least until you choose someone to replace me."
"But..." started Janet. There were too many questions going through her mind to grasp on one to articulate. She finally settled on a query that kept repeating in her brain. "Why do I need a personal assistant?"
"Because, my dear, there are scores of little details that need to be taken care of. A model in your position in the industry, or, should I say, in the position you'll soon find yourself, won't have the time to deal with them. Your being a minor adds an additional handicap on the amount of time you can legally spend actually working. You're going to literally become your own company. You'll have employees and they'll have needs that must be addressed in a timely manner. Many of the things that you buy can become a tax deduction and must be tracked. Your schedule can be rather complicated at times. Bottom line is, you'll need to concentrate on the modeling and shouldn't be distracted by the details."
"You mean, I have to pay you and everyone else? But..."
Susanne saw where this line of questioning was going and interrupted, "Yes and no. Your contract outlines the salaries for the people you'll need working for you and they're over and above the five thousand that you'll receive for each shoot. You will have to declare their salaries as your own income and then deduct them as an expense. We'll need to get you an accountant."
Janet's mind reeled with the implications. She knew about opportunity -- when it came knocking, it was a choice one had to make to take advantage of it. But, this opportunity came crashing through the door like a freight train, giving her little choice. This particular train was carrying loads of responsibilities, too. Janet began going over the events of the past two months. With everything that had taken place, she couldn't believe that it had only been two months. "Oh, God." She slumped onto a nearby bench and Susanne sat down next to her.
"Janet, honey. Don't let it overwhelm you. That's why you'll have a personal assistant. Now, I want you to understand something. I work for YOU, not John or Carol. John fired me as his assistant. As long as I'm your personal assistant, my responsibility is to you. I'm here to protect you and make things easier for you to handle. Okay?"
Janet looked into Susanne's eyes and saw the sincerity of her words. She hugged her and returned, "Thank you, Susanne. It's a comfort to know that you're on my side." Janet broke the embrace and began looking around the room. It seemed like everyone was caught up in the drama of the moment. Then Janet became aware of the fact that she was sitting there wearing only a bra above the waist. "Ummm... I think I need to finish trying these things on."
Out of the seven bras that Mrs. Fisher had given Janet to try on, three were rather uncomfortable. Not that any of them were actually comfortable. Janet wondered about the necessity of such a torture device. She did, however, like the feel of the camisoles that Susanne gave her to try on... as long as she didn't have to wear a bra under them. The way the soft fabric brushed her nipples sent chills up her spine. "I could get used to this," she thought.
The final outcome of the trip into Victoria's Secret was four bra and panty sets, five camisoles, and two items of sleepwear. One was more like a long tee shirt with her astrological sign -- Capricorn -- in a heart on it. There were little stars randomly placed on it as well. The other was boxer pajamas in a slate blue matte satin. Janet relished the feel of the pajamas.
The next stop was "The Cotton Connection", where Janet came away with two sun dresses and four tops -- two tank tops and two button up blouses. Next was "The Jean Wearhouse" which yielded six pairs of jeans and two jean skirts. Janet wasn't too thrilled with the skirts, which seemed rather short. The final purchase was made at Nordstrom's makeup counter. Susanne thought it a good idea to start Janet on a skincare regimen. After all, her face was going to be her bread and butter.
Susanne helped carry the massive load of packages to Mrs. Fisher's minivan. As they placed the packages in the van, it dawned on Janet that the majority of the packages were hers and all of it was girls clothes. She began to wonder where she was going to keep them. Surely not her house. What would she tell Jay and Chuck? Then again, how was she going to keep any of this a secret from anyone? What was school going to be like? There was already a change in the way Karen and Sylvia treated her. What was to become of her relationship with the girls?
"Janet? Janet?" said Susanne, trying to get Janet's attention.
Finally, Janet realized she was being paged and came out of her musings. "Oh, Susanne. I'm sorry. I just started thinking about what the future would be like."
"Try not to dwell on it too much. Just remember, you have several supportive friends who you can turn to. Janine can help you work through your problems. Trust her."
"Oh, I already do. She's been so kind to me. And Donna has been there to run interference with the boys. I was just wondering what school was going to be like from now on. Some of the changes in the way I look'll be hard to hide."
"We'll work things out. If worse comes to worse, there's always home schooling, tutors, and private teachers. You can afford just about anything you want. Anyway, you need to get going, so I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
"Thank you, Susanne, for everything." Janet hugged Susanne enthusiastically and then climbed into the van.
Mrs. Fisher spoke to Susanne briefly, hugged her, and then entered her seat.
During the drive to the Fisher's house, the girls chatted about the events of the day. Janet remained silent, reflecting on her situation. Granted, her life hadn't been great -- hell, it'd been terrible. Until two months ago, she had only two friends and one of those she didn't really like all that much. The gangs would harass her and her only saving grace was the fact that they all thought she WAS a girl. The kids at church were the worst of the bunch; they treated her like she had leprosy or something.
Now, here she was, with dozens of friends and a developing self-image that conformed with how the rest of the world saw her... one she never, in her wildest dreams, thought she would have. And, the strangest part was that she was actually happy and was growing more comfortable with the new self-image. She was starting to see mirrors as things that confirmed her happiness rather than validated her fears.
She turned to look out the window of the van, but she saw her reflection against the growing darkness and smiled. "I'm Janet Marianne O'Connell," she affirmed in her mind, "and I'm here to stay!"